Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:15,817 --> 00:00:18,484
(melodic music)
2
00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:22,850
- So, I'm a staff writer
for a women's magazine.
3
00:00:22,850 --> 00:00:24,810
I know what you're thinking.
4
00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:27,310
Not that kind of women's magazine.
5
00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:29,140
We don't give life hacks on house cleaning
6
00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:31,040
and we don't rank seasonal lip shades.
7
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,450
I'm working on a personal essay
on my circle of girlfriends.
8
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,558
There's five of us and we
couldn't be more different.
9
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:39,820
Our dating profiles would
be quite interesting.
10
00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:40,990
Loren Atwood.
11
00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:42,200
A real girl's girl.
12
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,520
Age: 25
13
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,390
Career: Staff writer
for Boss Bitch Magazine.
14
00:00:46,390 --> 00:00:48,640
Motto: Yes we still can!
15
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,070
Favorite movie: Thelma and Louise.
16
00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:53,640
When shit gets tough, Loren
believes in a combination
17
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,830
of mindfulness, meditation,
and creative teamwork.
18
00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:57,744
Relationship status.
19
00:00:57,744 --> 00:00:58,577
Where are you going?
20
00:00:58,577 --> 00:01:00,173
- I have to go back to school.
21
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,133
- No.
22
00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:02,966
- It's okay.
23
00:01:02,966 --> 00:01:06,510
- Healthy and committed three
year relationship with Bo.
24
00:01:06,510 --> 00:01:08,852
He's currently teaching English.
25
00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:10,185
To orphans.
26
00:01:10,185 --> 00:01:12,118
In Bulgaria.
27
00:01:12,118 --> 00:01:13,190
Yes.
28
00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:14,573
These guys do exist!
29
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,690
Oh and Frankie said to tell
you that's what you get
30
00:01:17,690 --> 00:01:20,470
for auto-drafting your
fantasy league from Bulgaria.
31
00:01:20,470 --> 00:01:21,880
I love the shit out of you.
32
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,180
Then there's Frankie.
33
00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:24,240
Frankie Giffin.
34
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,428
Age: 27.
35
00:01:25,428 --> 00:01:28,330
Career: Software development.
36
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:29,163
Motto.
37
00:01:29,163 --> 00:01:33,007
- Blood sugar 103, fucking killing it.
38
00:01:33,007 --> 00:01:33,840
(Loren clears throat)
39
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,200
- [Loren] Frankie.
40
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,033
Motto?
41
00:01:37,292 --> 00:01:40,020
- Choose sarcasm, because
beating the shit out of people
42
00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:40,853
is illegal.
43
00:01:40,853 --> 00:01:42,950
- [Loren] Favorite movie: The Sandlot.
44
00:01:42,950 --> 00:01:46,600
Believes that a gnome sneaks
into her room every night
45
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:47,950
and steals socks and panties.
46
00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:49,460
- Seriously, where do they go?
47
00:01:49,460 --> 00:01:51,690
- [Loren] Relationship status: Single.
48
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:55,119
Though she rarely swipes
right, when she does,
49
00:01:55,119 --> 00:01:57,063
you're in for a good time.
50
00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:02,030
And Stacy Beals.
51
00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:03,150
Age: 24.
52
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:05,540
Career: Hair and Makeup Artist.
53
00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:06,373
Motto.
54
00:02:06,373 --> 00:02:07,820
- I read it on Reddit.
55
00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:10,270
I mean, it's probably true.
56
00:02:10,270 --> 00:02:12,410
- [Loren] Favorite movie: Hmm.
57
00:02:12,410 --> 00:02:13,243
Hold please.
58
00:02:13,243 --> 00:02:15,020
(phone ringing)
59
00:02:15,020 --> 00:02:15,853
- [Stacy] Hey, Lo.
60
00:02:15,853 --> 00:02:17,100
- [Loren] Stace, what's
your favorite movie?
61
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,090
- Favorite movie?
62
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:19,490
- [Loren] Yeah, it's Clueless, right?
63
00:02:19,490 --> 00:02:20,323
- [Stacy] You're right.
64
00:02:20,323 --> 00:02:21,290
- [Loren] You do know that Stacy Dash
65
00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:22,910
wanted to eliminate black
history month, right?
66
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,394
- I'm sorry what?
67
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,987
Stacey Dash wanted to
eliminate black history month.
68
00:02:26,987 --> 00:02:27,820
- [Loren] Mm-hm.
69
00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:29,465
- How did I miss that?
70
00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:30,940
Unacceptable.
71
00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:31,773
- [Loren] I know right.
72
00:02:31,773 --> 00:02:33,120
- As if!
73
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,520
Okay, new movie, Crooklyn.
74
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:36,858
So many life lessons.
75
00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:37,691
- [Loren] Got it.
76
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,100
- [Stacey] Final answer, Crooklyn.
77
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:41,010
- [Loren] Favorite movie: Crooklyn.
78
00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:43,890
Comforted by: The Kardashians.
79
00:02:43,890 --> 00:02:47,543
Relationship status: Openly
gay and ready to slay.
80
00:02:48,630 --> 00:02:49,940
Jillian Olsen.
81
00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:51,500
Age: 27.
82
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:54,480
Career: Former child star
turned real housewife
83
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:55,783
of West Nashville.
84
00:02:55,783 --> 00:02:56,616
Motto.
85
00:02:56,616 --> 00:02:57,449
- Family first.
86
00:02:57,449 --> 00:02:59,780
And yes, you can choose your family.
87
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,400
- [Loren] Favorite movie: Steel Magnolias
88
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,430
Comforted by: Her five dogs.
89
00:03:05,430 --> 00:03:07,240
Yes, they're rescues.
90
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,580
And when shit gets tough,
Jillian bakes cookies.
91
00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:13,200
Relationship status:
Married to country music
92
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,491
superstar Michael Ray Black.
93
00:03:15,491 --> 00:03:18,574
♪ Find nobody around ♪
94
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:23,110
- [Loren] Melissa Ruthers.
95
00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:24,470
HBIC, girls.
96
00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:27,060
She is the definition of a career girl.
97
00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:28,440
Age:35.
98
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,790
Career: Owns multiple commercial
real estate properties.
99
00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:31,970
- [Melissa] Can you hold on a second?
100
00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:32,900
- [Loren] Motto.
101
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:35,380
- Work hard, play hard.
102
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:37,860
- [Loren] Favorite movie:
The Devil Wears Prada.
103
00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:40,990
Comforted by: Every other
Thursday night, girls' night in.
104
00:03:40,990 --> 00:03:44,490
And when shit gets tough,
Melissa never says why me?
105
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:46,430
She says, "Try Me."
106
00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:47,910
- Amanda, you need to go take care of it
107
00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:49,373
and then don't call me again.
108
00:03:53,425 --> 00:03:56,540
- I swiped right, and I sent
him home with leftover pizza.
109
00:03:56,540 --> 00:04:00,200
It's like the least you could
do is toss your shit, Todd.
110
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,510
- Did you see the picture
of Michael in Seen?
111
00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:04,820
He was with some ginger
chick in L.A. last weekend.
112
00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:06,320
- His publicist is a redhead.
113
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,360
Don't say ginger, it's racist.
114
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:09,510
- I can't be racist.
115
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,623
I have black friends.
116
00:04:11,478 --> 00:04:13,803
- It's like racist towards white people.
117
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,020
- That's not a thing.
118
00:04:16,020 --> 00:04:17,560
- It's reverse racism.
119
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,905
- Which means it's not racism.
120
00:04:19,905 --> 00:04:21,910
- Why are we having this argument?
121
00:04:21,910 --> 00:04:23,190
- Because you refuse to talk about
122
00:04:23,190 --> 00:04:24,960
what's really going on here.
123
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,030
What is up with Jill and Michael?
124
00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:28,180
We have to get this out of Jill.
125
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,550
She can't keep that stuff bottled up.
126
00:04:29,550 --> 00:04:32,390
- Okay, tabloids lie, Stace,
and Jillian's private.
127
00:04:32,390 --> 00:04:34,090
Just let her be.
128
00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:37,130
- If you don't talk about your
problems, they'll kill you.
129
00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:38,533
I saw it on Dr. Oz.
130
00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:40,988
They will literally sit in your stomach
131
00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:42,517
and turn into cancer.
132
00:04:42,517 --> 00:04:44,410
- You don't think you're exaggerating
133
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:45,979
just like a little bit?
134
00:04:45,979 --> 00:04:47,649
- No.
135
00:04:47,649 --> 00:04:49,280
(knocking on door)
136
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,780
- Yo, Mel.
137
00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:52,870
- It's Thursday, and what
do we not do on Thursdays?
138
00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:54,750
That's right, real estate.
139
00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:56,150
- Mel.
140
00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:57,300
- Hey friends.
141
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:58,133
- Hey.
142
00:04:58,133 --> 00:04:58,966
- How's it going?
143
00:04:58,966 --> 00:04:59,799
- Good.
144
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,880
- Where's Mel?
145
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,500
- From the sounds of it she's getting
146
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,890
pretty riled up at Amanda.
147
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:08,100
Also, who is Amanda and why is she causing
148
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,328
so much drama in my life right now?
149
00:05:10,328 --> 00:05:12,303
- You're so right.
150
00:05:12,303 --> 00:05:14,280
Your life is so crazy.
151
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,657
How do you do it day after day?
152
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:19,653
- Shut up.
153
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,343
- Well shit, guess we could have done that
154
00:05:22,343 --> 00:05:24,210
like 20 minutes ago.
155
00:05:24,210 --> 00:05:26,750
- Amanda, you are being
so annoying right now.
156
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:28,735
I don't wanna be hearing your voice.
157
00:05:28,735 --> 00:05:30,480
- [Amanda] How could you be
so annoyed with me when--
158
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,040
- I know but we do this
every other Thursday.
159
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,170
Not after 5 p.m.
160
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:35,450
You know this.
161
00:05:35,450 --> 00:05:37,270
Why are we even having this conversation?
162
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,386
- [Amanda] Because the
language in the contract,
163
00:05:39,386 --> 00:05:40,219
it needs--
164
00:05:40,219 --> 00:05:42,210
- So fix it, that's your job, to fix it.
165
00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:43,520
- [Amanda] Bobby already left Melissa.
166
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,983
- Okay then call him back.
167
00:05:44,983 --> 00:05:47,244
We talked about this like
four times already Amanda.
168
00:05:47,244 --> 00:05:48,750
Do you know what redundant means?
169
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:49,583
- [Amanda] Do you know what bitch means?
170
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,460
- Is this suspenders?
171
00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:53,143
- No it's a waist trainer,
that's gotta stay on.
172
00:05:53,143 --> 00:05:54,397
- Get off the phone.
173
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:55,230
- I'm sorry.
174
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,590
You know what, Amanda, I'm going
through a tunnel right now.
175
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,363
I'm losing you, I'm losing you.
176
00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:01,603
Sorry girls.
177
00:06:01,603 --> 00:06:02,740
- [Jillian] Hey ladies.
178
00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,420
- Hey.
179
00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:05,640
- Who the hell is this?
180
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:06,820
- Oh that's her sister.
181
00:06:06,820 --> 00:06:07,653
Her merch didn't sell.
182
00:06:07,653 --> 00:06:09,900
- It's terrible artwork so I got them all.
183
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,160
- Way to support.
184
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:11,993
- I know right.
185
00:06:14,170 --> 00:06:16,520
- Jillian, sweetheart,
I don't invite you over
186
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:17,860
so that you'll clean.
187
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:19,243
But I mean if you insist.
188
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:22,000
- Okay, Mel, I told you.
189
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,860
These things are not biodegradable.
190
00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:25,730
- Yeah but they make
your bun look really big.
191
00:06:25,730 --> 00:06:26,563
- Mel.
192
00:06:26,563 --> 00:06:27,396
- Yeah?
193
00:06:27,396 --> 00:06:28,700
- How do your pants still smell so good
194
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:30,430
at the end of the day?
195
00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:31,870
- It's my pheromones.
196
00:06:31,870 --> 00:06:34,320
I had them adjusted to
smell like Chanel No. 5.
197
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:35,153
- Really?
198
00:06:35,153 --> 00:06:35,986
- Yeah.
199
00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:38,030
No!
200
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,340
I'm not that rich!
201
00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:40,550
That's the pizzas.
202
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:42,100
- Okay but Mel, I'm not kidding.
203
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,830
You know that thing in Texas,
204
00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:47,580
it's littered with these
and straws and panty liners.
205
00:06:47,580 --> 00:06:49,080
- Yeah it's the size of Texas.
206
00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:52,893
In the ocean?
207
00:06:52,893 --> 00:06:53,930
Yeah.
208
00:06:53,930 --> 00:06:55,266
I know what you're talking about.
209
00:06:55,266 --> 00:06:58,040
- I dunno, whatever, the reef is dying.
210
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,553
- Okay girls, I have pizza.
211
00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:03,300
Okay, I just got one for each of you,
212
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,850
or you can share, I don't care.
213
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,820
Okay veggie, no onions, for you doll.
214
00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:11,810
We have gluten free, dairy free.
215
00:07:11,810 --> 00:07:14,223
No, this is going in the trash can.
216
00:07:14,223 --> 00:07:16,140
Okay okay okay fine.
217
00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:17,320
Canadian bacon with pineapple.
218
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:18,497
- That's my one.
219
00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:20,810
- And for you, my little meat lover.
220
00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:22,520
Meat supreme, all the meats.
221
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:23,353
- All the meats.
222
00:07:24,874 --> 00:07:26,664
Do you have any beer?
223
00:07:26,664 --> 00:07:29,010
- I am so sorry boo I
forgot to pick it up.
224
00:07:29,010 --> 00:07:29,970
- Oh no Mic Ultras?
225
00:07:29,970 --> 00:07:30,803
- No.
226
00:07:30,803 --> 00:07:31,670
- No trash beer even?
227
00:07:31,670 --> 00:07:32,503
- No.
228
00:07:32,503 --> 00:07:33,496
- B double L?
229
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:34,329
- No.
230
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,290
I hate beer.
231
00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:36,123
I'm sorry.
232
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,000
- I don't wanna drink
wine, it makes my eyes cry.
233
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:38,970
- Oh.
234
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:41,104
- Okay well don't worry,
we're not gonna drink wine,
235
00:07:41,104 --> 00:07:42,650
we're drinking tequila.
236
00:07:42,650 --> 00:07:44,230
- Yes, you are a goddess.
237
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,413
- You know what ladies, it's a Monet.
238
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,515
Hashtag poor choices Thursdays.
239
00:07:49,515 --> 00:07:51,301
Get over here doll.
240
00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:53,871
- Okay, I got the tequila.
241
00:07:53,871 --> 00:07:56,621
- Hashtag poor choices thursdays.
242
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:02,738
- Oh my gosh, okay here we go.
243
00:08:02,738 --> 00:08:03,571
- Yay!
244
00:08:03,571 --> 00:08:05,250
- Yeah they sponsored Michael's last tour.
245
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,360
- Ooh.
246
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,400
- Whoa.
247
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,287
- I am okay with this.
248
00:08:09,287 --> 00:08:10,530
- How many inches?
249
00:08:10,530 --> 00:08:12,660
How many inches do you want?
250
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,553
- Let me start, let me start small.
251
00:08:14,553 --> 00:08:16,070
- Okay, okay.
252
00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:18,420
- So, what are we watching?
253
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:19,690
- Oh, oh.
254
00:08:19,690 --> 00:08:22,480
Okay I say...
255
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,940
- [All] Bridget Jones Diary.
256
00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:26,313
- You always wanna watch that.
257
00:08:26,313 --> 00:08:28,760
- Well first of all,
she's my spirit animal.
258
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,530
Second of all, you always wanna watch
259
00:08:30,530 --> 00:08:32,457
Abby the Adolescent Witch,
260
00:08:32,457 --> 00:08:35,505
especially when Jillian's not here.
261
00:08:35,505 --> 00:08:37,020
- She's not supposed to know that.
262
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:38,430
Thank you very much.
263
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:39,539
- Guys, seriously?
264
00:08:39,539 --> 00:08:40,372
- Okay hold on, hold on.
265
00:08:40,372 --> 00:08:42,607
You might always be Abby
to the rest of America,
266
00:08:42,607 --> 00:08:45,187
but to us you're just Jillian.
267
00:08:45,187 --> 00:08:46,730
- I'll drink to that.
268
00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:48,940
To Jillian, who bakes us cookies,
269
00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:50,445
and not to Abby.
270
00:08:50,445 --> 00:08:52,495
To Jillian!
- Not to Abby.
271
00:08:52,495 --> 00:08:54,600
(laughing)
272
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,360
- Jill, I've got a question for you.
273
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,193
- Yeah?
274
00:08:57,193 --> 00:09:00,380
- Would you rather, watch
a year long marathon
275
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:02,244
of Abby the Adolescent Witch,
276
00:09:02,244 --> 00:09:06,833
or star in a season of The
Real Housewives of Nashville?
277
00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:09,320
- Absolutely hands down I would rather
278
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,810
watch myself grow up on TV than expose
279
00:09:11,810 --> 00:09:13,017
my private life on air.
280
00:09:13,017 --> 00:09:13,850
- Praise.
281
00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:16,920
- You wouldn't fit in
on those shows, anyway.
282
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,267
- You're just not bitchy enough, babe.
283
00:09:20,372 --> 00:09:22,900
- Oh guys, I have a serious one, okay?
284
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:23,733
- Go.
285
00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:28,680
- Would you rather have a
very painful vaginal birth
286
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:33,253
or completely pain free,
287
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,023
but through your mouth.
288
00:09:38,718 --> 00:09:40,870
- Something is very wrong with you.
289
00:09:40,870 --> 00:09:42,610
- Okay wait, hang on.
290
00:09:42,610 --> 00:09:44,860
Would I be able to dislocate
my jaw like a python
291
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:46,170
and then it just pops back in?
292
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:47,320
How's this gonna work?
293
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,910
- Exactly like a snake.
294
00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:49,743
Mouth or vag?
295
00:09:49,743 --> 00:09:50,950
- I mean, mouth, I guess.
296
00:09:50,950 --> 00:09:51,820
- Yep, same.
297
00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:52,653
- I'm with you.
298
00:09:52,653 --> 00:09:54,191
You gotta protect the lady parts.
299
00:09:54,191 --> 00:09:55,876
(explosion)
(gasping)
300
00:09:55,876 --> 00:09:58,071
- What the fuck?
- Oh my God.
301
00:09:58,071 --> 00:09:59,071
- Holy shit.
302
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,315
(indistinct chatter)
303
00:10:16,904 --> 00:10:17,904
- Oh my God.
304
00:10:22,362 --> 00:10:23,779
Come on, come on.
305
00:10:26,216 --> 00:10:27,049
Oh my God.
306
00:10:30,203 --> 00:10:32,255
- I have to film this.
307
00:10:32,255 --> 00:10:34,520
- Stacy, Stacy, Stacy,
don't open the door, okay.
308
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,550
Okay we don't know what's in the air.
309
00:10:36,550 --> 00:10:37,657
Keep that closed.
310
00:10:37,657 --> 00:10:39,507
- [Frankie] Is it a terrorist attack?
311
00:10:41,491 --> 00:10:42,530
- Close the curtain.
312
00:10:42,530 --> 00:10:43,363
- Okay.
313
00:10:43,363 --> 00:10:44,196
- Oh my God.
314
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,290
Oh my God.
315
00:10:47,290 --> 00:10:48,880
Is it North Korea?
316
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,060
What did he tweet?
317
00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:51,767
How am I supposed to know
what's going on in the world?
318
00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:52,600
No, no.
319
00:10:53,768 --> 00:10:54,670
Do you have service?
320
00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:56,783
- No I don't have service.
321
00:10:58,670 --> 00:10:59,807
- No one has service.
322
00:10:59,807 --> 00:11:00,680
- It's okay.
323
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:01,764
- Is mercury in retrograde right now?
324
00:11:01,764 --> 00:11:03,293
- I'm pretty sure it is!
325
00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,174
- I can't be here, I gotta go.
326
00:11:05,174 --> 00:11:06,590
- Jill!
- Jill no!
327
00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:07,910
- Jill stop!
328
00:11:07,910 --> 00:11:10,050
Hey, hey, hey, hang on okay?
329
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:11,230
Stop, stop.
330
00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:13,440
Look, no electricity,
that means no elevators,
331
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,950
we're not gonna run down
14 flights of stairs, okay?
332
00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,470
We don't know what's happening out there.
333
00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:18,320
We don't know what's happening.
334
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,729
- She's right.
335
00:11:19,729 --> 00:11:22,740
I mean it's dark in
here but there's pizza.
336
00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:26,272
And outside is fire and
smoke and probably zombies,
337
00:11:26,272 --> 00:11:29,968
and swine flu, real Tank
Girl shit out there.
338
00:11:29,968 --> 00:11:30,801
- What?
339
00:11:32,202 --> 00:11:33,540
- Why are people leaving?
340
00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:34,496
Should we go?
341
00:11:34,496 --> 00:11:36,548
- No no no.
342
00:11:36,548 --> 00:11:38,560
- All right, let's just calm down.
343
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:39,770
Take a deep breath, okay?
344
00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:41,330
Do you have flashlights or anything?
345
00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:43,280
- Yeah yeah, come on, come on let's go.
346
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,510
Okay can you hold that?
347
00:11:49,841 --> 00:11:52,220
Okay can you guys just hold
the light for me so I can see?
348
00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:53,510
- [Loren] What exactly are we looking for?
349
00:11:53,510 --> 00:11:57,774
- I have these lantern
things I've never used.
350
00:11:57,774 --> 00:12:00,210
I invested in them when
I was on Shark Tank.
351
00:12:00,210 --> 00:12:02,160
They're battery powered,
but they partially run
352
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,450
on solar or some shit, I don't know.
353
00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:06,253
Here, I'm gonna hand stuff out.
354
00:12:07,217 --> 00:12:08,610
I wish Greg was here.
355
00:12:08,610 --> 00:12:09,610
- [Frankie] Why?
356
00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:11,310
- He has all this stuff.
357
00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:13,270
He had a head-for-the-hills bag,
358
00:12:13,270 --> 00:12:16,440
which is one of the many reasons
we're not together anymore.
359
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,273
Weirdo.
360
00:12:17,273 --> 00:12:18,176
- Where is Greg?
361
00:12:18,176 --> 00:12:19,294
- I'm gonna go out on a limb and say
362
00:12:19,294 --> 00:12:21,080
he's headed for the hills.
363
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,980
- Oh Mel, you guys were so in love.
364
00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:27,409
- Stacy, I can't with that right now okay?
365
00:12:27,409 --> 00:12:28,510
We're still friends.
366
00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:30,020
We're just, God this one's heavy,
367
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:31,740
we're not an item anymore.
368
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,640
But he is the reason that I have
369
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,630
tons and tons of camping lights.
370
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:36,933
The man loves camping.
371
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:40,930
- Thoughts?
372
00:12:40,930 --> 00:12:41,763
- [Melissa] Oh that's actually...
373
00:12:41,763 --> 00:12:43,050
- Fashionable and practical.
374
00:12:43,050 --> 00:12:43,883
Oh look.
375
00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:44,716
- [Frankie] Bingo.
376
00:12:44,716 --> 00:12:45,549
- That's what I was looking for,
377
00:12:45,549 --> 00:12:46,817
those are battery operated too.
378
00:12:46,817 --> 00:12:47,853
- Oh, Frankie.
379
00:12:49,470 --> 00:12:50,463
You can match.
380
00:12:52,745 --> 00:12:54,723
- Let there be light, ladies.
381
00:13:05,190 --> 00:13:07,216
(screaming)
382
00:13:07,216 --> 00:13:08,820
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
383
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:09,670
S'okay ladies.
384
00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:10,503
- Is that Greg?
385
00:13:10,503 --> 00:13:11,773
- It's okay.
386
00:13:11,773 --> 00:13:13,150
- [Melissa] What are you doing here?
387
00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:14,590
How did you even get in?
388
00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:17,253
- Well, if you must know,
miss lady, I used my key.
389
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,223
Look it's pretty bad out there.
390
00:13:20,223 --> 00:13:22,460
They got attacks going
on in San Francisco,
391
00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:25,190
New York, Nashville, and even Boise.
392
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:26,710
- Boise?
393
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:28,370
God, somebody must really hate potatoes.
394
00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:29,353
- Oh, Frankie.
395
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,390
- How do you know all this?
396
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,223
- Radio.
397
00:13:33,223 --> 00:13:34,056
- You have a radio?
398
00:13:34,056 --> 00:13:35,060
- Of course he has a radio.
399
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,064
- Do you have a radio?
400
00:13:36,064 --> 00:13:36,897
- No, I don't have a radio,
401
00:13:36,897 --> 00:13:38,270
I mean who has a radio anymore right?
402
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:39,103
- Greg has a radio.
403
00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:41,030
- Of course, he has a radio.
404
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,180
- Now you have a radio.
405
00:13:43,730 --> 00:13:44,563
- Here.
406
00:13:44,563 --> 00:13:46,530
- Look, someone needs to
go fill up the tub, okay.
407
00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:48,580
Take advantage of this water
while we still have it.
408
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:49,650
Use all of the hot water--
409
00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:51,490
- All right on it, on it.
410
00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:52,323
- And...
411
00:13:54,305 --> 00:13:55,799
Seal up the windows.
412
00:13:55,799 --> 00:13:57,664
Make sure you seal up the edges.
413
00:13:57,664 --> 00:14:00,350
You don't want any of that
outside air penetrating.
414
00:14:00,350 --> 00:14:02,090
- Penetrating what?
415
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:03,013
- I can hear you.
416
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:05,719
- Come on, Jill.
417
00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:10,183
- Don't you think this is a bit much?
418
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:12,913
- Okay.
419
00:14:13,810 --> 00:14:14,753
- You scare them.
420
00:14:24,278 --> 00:14:26,606
What are you doing here?
421
00:14:26,606 --> 00:14:28,130
- I came for my camping lights.
422
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:30,730
- I told you we need some space, babe.
423
00:14:30,730 --> 00:14:32,355
Christ, I mean what is this?
424
00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:33,188
- It's a gas mask.
425
00:14:33,188 --> 00:14:34,250
- [Melissa] Is this Ant-Man or something?
426
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:37,127
- Look, you knew I was
coming back for you.
427
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,700
- I do kind of like this look.
428
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:43,351
I really love a man in a vest
with lots of tiny pockets.
429
00:14:43,351 --> 00:14:45,740
- Yeah I look pretty dangerous huh?
430
00:14:45,740 --> 00:14:46,910
I figured you'd like it.
431
00:14:46,910 --> 00:14:49,547
- It's kinda sexy, like
what do you put in here?
432
00:14:49,547 --> 00:14:51,271
Hand sanitizer wipes?
433
00:14:51,271 --> 00:14:53,060
You look like GI Joe.
434
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,300
Who's Saint Augler?
435
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:56,793
- Your fantasy Superman.
436
00:14:57,970 --> 00:15:00,143
Plus, if we're gonna die,
437
00:15:00,143 --> 00:15:02,960
you know I wanna tap
dat ass one more time.
438
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,113
- Oh my God this sweet talk.
439
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,300
Okay babe.
440
00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:11,163
- No.
441
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,590
- Okay Saint Augler just
give me just a second okay?
442
00:15:15,590 --> 00:15:16,530
- Tap dat ass?
443
00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:18,130
Are you frickin' kidding me?
444
00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:19,980
- Babe, babe just give me a second okay.
445
00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:21,300
- Yeah babe.
- Bye babe.
446
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:22,203
- Yeah.
- Go!
447
00:15:24,812 --> 00:15:26,700
- You can't leave us.
448
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:28,150
- Hold her down, I'll get the tape.
449
00:15:28,150 --> 00:15:30,442
- Melissa, you're not
seriously considering this.
450
00:15:30,442 --> 00:15:31,510
- Girls.
451
00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:34,330
- What happened to Miss Independent,
452
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:37,870
you know, Hill would be so ashamed.
453
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,250
Okay come on, what
happened to miss on her own
454
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:44,303
and miss solidarity and
friends and Kelly Clarkson?
455
00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:46,398
What happened?
456
00:15:46,398 --> 00:15:47,231
Please.
457
00:15:47,231 --> 00:15:48,064
Please don't go.
458
00:15:48,064 --> 00:15:48,897
- Okay look, look.
459
00:15:48,897 --> 00:15:50,830
You all have healthy sex lives
460
00:15:50,830 --> 00:15:54,550
and I haven't gotten laid
in like eight billion years.
461
00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:57,050
So if this really is the end of the world,
462
00:15:57,050 --> 00:15:58,410
mama's gonna get a little vitamin D,
463
00:15:58,410 --> 00:15:59,959
just one more time.
464
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:00,810
Okay?
465
00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:03,110
I gotta go before I change my mind.
466
00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:04,620
I love you guys.
467
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:06,370
Okay don't make me cry, I love you.
468
00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:07,703
I love you.
469
00:16:07,703 --> 00:16:09,061
Be safe.
470
00:16:09,061 --> 00:16:10,472
Be safe!
471
00:16:10,472 --> 00:16:14,480
Stay safe!
472
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:15,688
(door slams)
473
00:16:15,688 --> 00:16:17,707
- Did that really just happen?
474
00:16:17,707 --> 00:16:19,820
- What a fucking whore.
475
00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:21,187
- Is this a joke?
476
00:16:21,187 --> 00:16:24,470
- [Loren] Melissa Ruthers,
relationship status:
477
00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:25,453
it's complicated.
478
00:16:26,605 --> 00:16:28,190
- [PJ] This is PJ and
Maggs and we've interrupted
479
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:30,310
our Thursday night America
Countdown to bring you
480
00:16:30,310 --> 00:16:31,440
emergency news coverage.
481
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:32,670
America is under attack.
482
00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:35,300
The following cities have been bombed:
483
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,700
San Francisco, New York City, Nashville,
484
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:39,418
Orlando, and Boise.
485
00:16:39,418 --> 00:16:41,047
- Told you it's the potatoes.
486
00:16:41,047 --> 00:16:41,880
- [Maggs] Everyone is advised
to stay where you are.
487
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,090
Seek shelter.
488
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:46,260
Tape and seal doors and windows,
and ration food and water.
489
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:49,430
There have been no further
attacks since 8:35 p.m.
490
00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:51,351
central standard time.
491
00:16:51,351 --> 00:16:53,303
We do not the extent of the threat
492
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:56,823
as toxicity levels cannot
be determined at this time.
493
00:16:57,860 --> 00:17:01,349
We just got this in for Nashville
and surrounding counties.
494
00:17:01,349 --> 00:17:03,440
All interstates are closed.
495
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,970
Please do not attempt to leave or enter
496
00:17:04,970 --> 00:17:06,840
the greater Nashville area.
497
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,670
All air travel has been suspend...
498
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,640
- We can't listen to this all night.
499
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:21,533
- Okay.
500
00:17:22,482 --> 00:17:24,070
Let's do what he said, right?
501
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,520
Gather supplies and ration.
502
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,650
So we have five pizzas, right,
503
00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:30,916
and the fridge is gonna
stay cold for a day or so.
504
00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:35,916
We got hummus, pickles, two pudding cups.
505
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:38,660
Any condiment you can imagine.
506
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:39,493
- That's it?
507
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:45,240
- We have more pizza,
508
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,130
and penis ice.
509
00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:48,993
Let's see.
510
00:17:50,493 --> 00:17:51,326
We have...
511
00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:54,543
Greg's shit.
512
00:17:57,665 --> 00:17:59,293
- And Jillian's cookies.
513
00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:06,260
- And five dehydrated Greg meals.
514
00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:11,000
And if anyone's wondering,
154 units of insulin.
515
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,785
- Wait, how long is that gonna last?
516
00:18:12,785 --> 00:18:14,913
- Five days, maybe seven.
517
00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:19,040
- Okay.
518
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:19,873
Great.
519
00:18:19,873 --> 00:18:20,710
Awesome.
520
00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:25,710
Right, we also have one case
of electrolyte infused waters,
521
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:30,143
all right, so sip slow
and make it last, ladies.
522
00:18:31,970 --> 00:18:32,803
All right.
523
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:37,637
So we are gonna wait this out.
524
00:18:38,968 --> 00:18:41,023
- Well we need to rig up some lights.
525
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:43,623
- Frankie, yes.
526
00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:45,383
Go team.
527
00:18:50,507 --> 00:18:51,340
- Melissa.
528
00:19:01,197 --> 00:19:03,063
- Let's get these panties popping.
529
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:16,837
Festive AF.
530
00:19:18,712 --> 00:19:20,868
- It's actually pretty genius.
531
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:21,951
- Looks good.
532
00:19:25,661 --> 00:19:28,333
- I haven't tuned one of these in forever.
533
00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:38,930
- [Male] The following
message is being transmitted
534
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:42,387
at the request of civil defense.
535
00:19:42,387 --> 00:19:44,110
- Holy shit.
536
00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:45,420
- I know, just read it.
537
00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:47,753
- [Male] Please stand by for instructions.
538
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,370
- We just got an update with reports
539
00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:57,880
of ebola-like symptoms
developing from exposure
540
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,140
to the air and debris within what is now
541
00:20:00,140 --> 00:20:02,693
a six mile radius of the site of attack.
542
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,960
- All we can do is wait, and pray.
543
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,350
If you are within a safe shelter,
544
00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:18,200
be advised that it could be days,
545
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,992
even weeks before rescue
missions are attempted.
546
00:20:20,992 --> 00:20:22,947
Nashville is under Martial Law.
547
00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:25,360
Please, do not open doors.
548
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,383
There is a bio-chemical threat outside.
549
00:20:28,290 --> 00:20:30,780
We are one of five American
cities attacked tonight
550
00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:33,600
in seemingly unmotivated acts of terror.
551
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,310
Stand strong, Music City.
552
00:20:35,310 --> 00:20:37,130
Tell those around you you love them.
553
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:39,490
- All right y'all, we're
gonna continue taking calls
554
00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:42,290
and update you with
information as it comes in.
555
00:20:42,290 --> 00:20:44,624
This is PJ with WBNA FM.
556
00:20:44,624 --> 00:20:46,510
Who am I speaking to?
557
00:20:46,510 --> 00:20:47,720
- [Adam] This is Reverend Adam Sholks
558
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,410
and I just want all the cities in America
559
00:20:50,410 --> 00:20:53,330
to know that the prayer
warriors are going strong.
560
00:20:53,330 --> 00:20:55,290
My daughter is in Nashville.
561
00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:57,690
If you hear me, darlin', you
know you need to get right
562
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,950
with God cause your chance
of survival is not good.
563
00:20:59,950 --> 00:21:00,783
- And no.
564
00:21:02,890 --> 00:21:04,620
- That was the reverend.
565
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:08,193
You can catch him on Sundays.
566
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:10,813
- I just can't.
567
00:21:13,710 --> 00:21:15,370
- Should we go with her?
568
00:21:15,370 --> 00:21:16,203
- Probably.
569
00:21:16,203 --> 00:21:18,770
First one to separate's
usually the first one to die.
570
00:21:18,770 --> 00:21:20,800
- It's usually the black person.
571
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,410
- Not in this house.
572
00:21:22,410 --> 00:21:24,527
- Yeah, we're woke.
573
00:21:24,527 --> 00:21:26,603
- Please don't ever say that again.
574
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:38,793
- Okay.
575
00:21:43,310 --> 00:21:44,623
To whoever is watching.
576
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:49,466
Please, please, go to my
notes and under the file,
577
00:21:49,466 --> 00:21:51,792
it's titled worst night ever,
578
00:21:51,792 --> 00:21:55,290
you'll find my very last article...
579
00:21:57,820 --> 00:21:59,960
It's my very last article that's gonna
580
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:03,303
document what just might be
our very last night on earth.
581
00:22:07,820 --> 00:22:09,203
Sorry, there have been,
582
00:22:11,529 --> 00:22:14,037
been black hawks and circlers.
583
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:20,992
Anyways, please, if you see this,
584
00:22:20,992 --> 00:22:24,010
get it to Boss Bitch Magazine, okay?
585
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:25,823
If it's still a thing.
586
00:22:32,562 --> 00:22:34,682
(sighs)
587
00:22:34,682 --> 00:22:35,682
You hear it?
588
00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:37,923
Shaking the building.
589
00:22:41,187 --> 00:22:45,197
Anyways, so please, just get
it to Boss Bitch Mag, again.
590
00:22:46,830 --> 00:22:47,743
And to Bo,
591
00:22:49,470 --> 00:22:50,303
baby,
592
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,573
if you see this, I hope
you know I love you.
593
00:22:56,413 --> 00:22:57,823
I love you so much.
594
00:22:59,426 --> 00:23:00,259
I really do.
595
00:23:03,522 --> 00:23:04,355
And,
596
00:23:06,905 --> 00:23:07,988
I'm pregnant.
597
00:23:11,470 --> 00:23:14,140
Oh my God no I'm not, I'm just kidding.
598
00:23:14,140 --> 00:23:17,070
That was so bad, that was a bad joke,
599
00:23:17,070 --> 00:23:19,643
at very inappropriate, bad timing.
600
00:23:21,535 --> 00:23:23,080
You know me, I'm not that funny.
601
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,690
Ha ha ha.
602
00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:25,773
I make myself laugh.
603
00:23:26,771 --> 00:23:28,193
And you by doing that.
604
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,333
Anyways, whatever.
605
00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:34,693
I love you.
606
00:23:36,803 --> 00:23:38,173
I love you so much.
607
00:23:56,409 --> 00:24:01,326
- Is anyone else imagining Abby
the Adolescent Witch on TV?
608
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:03,783
- Bridget Jones Diary.
609
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:06,603
- E! True Hollywood Story.
610
00:24:07,916 --> 00:24:09,414
Fuck it, y'all.
611
00:24:09,414 --> 00:24:11,400
I'm taking the good stuff.
612
00:24:22,312 --> 00:24:24,163
- Why did the sirens stop?
613
00:24:28,070 --> 00:24:29,690
- I don't know, Jill.
614
00:24:29,690 --> 00:24:30,823
- I'm really scared.
615
00:24:31,868 --> 00:24:32,853
- Hey, I know.
616
00:24:34,790 --> 00:24:36,420
Me, too.
617
00:24:36,420 --> 00:24:37,820
- There's nothing we can do.
618
00:24:42,570 --> 00:24:43,780
We're just gonna have to face the fact
619
00:24:43,780 --> 00:24:45,620
that we're probably are gonna
die in the next few days,
620
00:24:45,620 --> 00:24:49,784
either from starvation
or opening up a window
621
00:24:49,784 --> 00:24:52,896
and dying from some bleeding eye shit.
622
00:24:52,896 --> 00:24:55,384
- Oh, God.
623
00:24:55,384 --> 00:24:56,840
- Don't cry, Jill.
624
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,120
Just drink.
625
00:24:58,120 --> 00:24:59,570
At least you're here with us.
626
00:25:02,870 --> 00:25:03,703
Frankie?
627
00:25:03,703 --> 00:25:04,736
- No.
628
00:25:04,736 --> 00:25:05,650
Makes my eyes cry.
629
00:25:05,650 --> 00:25:06,483
- Fine.
630
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:13,430
- Okay, listen, I just
wanna say that this room
631
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:15,583
is a safe space.
632
00:25:16,530 --> 00:25:17,363
All right?
633
00:25:17,363 --> 00:25:19,680
So whatever is weighing on your hearts,
634
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,940
just let it out, okay?
635
00:25:21,940 --> 00:25:24,120
Because if we're gonna die,
636
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,542
we're gonna die with clean consciences.
637
00:25:26,542 --> 00:25:29,500
And there will be no judgment.
638
00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:32,290
Just understanding
639
00:25:35,370 --> 00:25:36,203
and solidarity.
640
00:25:39,610 --> 00:25:40,867
- Thank you Brené.
641
00:25:40,867 --> 00:25:42,193
What time is the march?
642
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:44,350
- Funny Frankie.
643
00:25:44,350 --> 00:25:47,350
- No but seriously, I wanna roll my eyes
644
00:25:47,350 --> 00:25:50,813
at everything you say but, oh but I can't,
645
00:25:50,813 --> 00:25:55,017
because I really do feel
like I'm in a safe space
646
00:25:55,017 --> 00:25:58,280
with really supportive friends.
647
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,150
- You are.
648
00:25:59,150 --> 00:26:03,348
- I just wish you were a
little more de-facto feminist.
649
00:26:03,348 --> 00:26:05,420
- Fourth wave, sorry Boo.
650
00:26:05,420 --> 00:26:06,253
- [Frankie] It's okay.
651
00:26:06,253 --> 00:26:07,850
I still love you.
652
00:26:07,850 --> 00:26:09,380
- Thanks Frank.
653
00:26:09,380 --> 00:26:11,680
- It's gotta be freeing though,
654
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,960
to not have to write
another girl power article.
655
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,158
If this the end.
656
00:26:18,158 --> 00:26:21,040
- You know what, I actually
really love my job,
657
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,660
I do.
658
00:26:22,660 --> 00:26:24,860
I was in the middle of writing
a piece right now actually,
659
00:26:24,860 --> 00:26:26,940
sort of based on all of us.
660
00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:29,390
I feel like I need to finish it.
661
00:26:29,390 --> 00:26:30,223
Especially now.
662
00:26:32,610 --> 00:26:33,443
- A eulogy?
663
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:35,843
- Shit.
664
00:26:36,790 --> 00:26:41,023
- Well, if anyone's gonna
eulogize us, it should be you, Lo.
665
00:26:42,260 --> 00:26:43,140
- Thanks Frank.
666
00:26:43,140 --> 00:26:46,210
- Jill, why don't we ever
do this at your place?
667
00:26:46,210 --> 00:26:48,630
Would we like disturb Michael's process?
668
00:26:48,630 --> 00:26:50,500
I know you're a little ways out but,
669
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,963
I can't help but think if we'd been there.
670
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:56,990
- Because Melissa's here twice a month.
671
00:26:56,990 --> 00:26:59,702
And we can all Uber downtown.
672
00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:01,540
Plus, my house just isn't very homey.
673
00:27:01,540 --> 00:27:02,680
You know?
674
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,520
Sometimes I feel like
we bought it just for
675
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,840
the Southern Living photo shoots.
676
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,820
- Where is Michael tonight?
677
00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:09,653
- He's in Colorado.
678
00:27:09,653 --> 00:27:11,610
I wonder if he knows what happened.
679
00:27:11,610 --> 00:27:13,150
I haven't heard from him today.
680
00:27:13,150 --> 00:27:14,640
- Wait.
681
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:15,473
At all?
682
00:27:16,470 --> 00:27:17,690
- No.
683
00:27:17,690 --> 00:27:20,609
It's been a little rough lately.
684
00:27:20,609 --> 00:27:23,400
I'm not even that sad right now.
685
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,894
I'm just, having some regrets.
686
00:27:26,894 --> 00:27:28,840
- Cause you were trying to get pregnant?
687
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:29,673
- Stacy.
688
00:27:30,831 --> 00:27:31,664
No.
689
00:27:33,774 --> 00:27:34,712
(sighs)
690
00:27:34,712 --> 00:27:37,510
I really just, I want to feel needed.
691
00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,551
- Fuck, Jill.
692
00:27:40,551 --> 00:27:43,203
- Why else do you think I have five dogs?
693
00:27:44,260 --> 00:27:45,610
- It is a little excessive.
694
00:27:47,660 --> 00:27:50,350
- You know what Jill,
none of that matters.
695
00:27:50,350 --> 00:27:51,623
Do you know why?
696
00:27:51,623 --> 00:27:53,206
- Why?
697
00:27:53,206 --> 00:27:58,206
- Because you make the best
cookies in the whole world.
698
00:27:59,014 --> 00:28:01,171
- Did that just come out of your butt?
699
00:28:01,171 --> 00:28:02,940
(laughing)
700
00:28:02,940 --> 00:28:05,010
Wait, are you storing
cookies under the couch?
701
00:28:05,010 --> 00:28:05,843
- No.
702
00:28:05,843 --> 00:28:07,474
That would be insane.
703
00:28:08,628 --> 00:28:09,889
- Can I have some?
704
00:28:09,889 --> 00:28:10,800
- No.
705
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,533
- Jill you have nothing to regret.
706
00:28:16,235 --> 00:28:17,990
Look at how much you've done.
707
00:28:17,990 --> 00:28:19,430
I mean look what you've overcome.
708
00:28:19,430 --> 00:28:20,263
- Hold please.
709
00:28:28,980 --> 00:28:31,220
What exactly, did you overcome?
710
00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:32,591
Were you an addict?
711
00:28:32,591 --> 00:28:33,424
Was it coke?
712
00:28:33,424 --> 00:28:34,257
- Stacy!
713
00:28:35,170 --> 00:28:38,880
- 97.8% of child stars go to Betty Ford.
714
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,480
Fact.
715
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,097
Were you a sex addict?
716
00:28:42,097 --> 00:28:43,940
Did you have Trichotillomania?
717
00:28:43,940 --> 00:28:44,773
- What?
718
00:28:44,773 --> 00:28:45,606
Did you make that up?
719
00:28:45,606 --> 00:28:47,610
- No, Stacy, she brought
cookies for fuck's sake.
720
00:28:47,610 --> 00:28:49,410
She doesn't have an eating disorder!
721
00:28:51,430 --> 00:28:52,263
- What?
722
00:28:52,263 --> 00:28:54,303
I'm just saying, we've
never dived into this.
723
00:28:54,303 --> 00:28:56,900
What the hell else are
we gonna talk about?
724
00:28:56,900 --> 00:28:59,260
- Wait seriously what is
trick toe-titel-mania?
725
00:28:59,260 --> 00:29:00,980
- It's when you pull your hair out.
726
00:29:00,980 --> 00:29:02,090
- Oh.
727
00:29:02,090 --> 00:29:03,150
Yeah, I totally had that.
728
00:29:03,150 --> 00:29:03,983
- Really?
729
00:29:03,983 --> 00:29:05,211
- No.
730
00:29:05,211 --> 00:29:06,750
(laughing)
731
00:29:06,750 --> 00:29:07,700
- Jill's got jokes!
732
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:13,800
- Don't do that again.
733
00:29:16,290 --> 00:29:17,950
Wait, come back.
734
00:29:17,950 --> 00:29:19,238
- Hold on, Stace.
735
00:29:19,238 --> 00:29:22,405
I need to get some Advil or something.
736
00:29:23,905 --> 00:29:25,320
What's Flexeril?
737
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,857
- Oh it's a good time in a bottle.
738
00:29:27,857 --> 00:29:30,690
(banging on door)
739
00:29:32,539 --> 00:29:33,920
- Hey, I hear you in there.
740
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,113
Open the door, I need help.
741
00:29:37,365 --> 00:29:39,051
Open this door, please!
742
00:29:39,051 --> 00:29:39,884
I won't hurt you.
743
00:29:39,884 --> 00:29:41,493
Please help me, I need help.
744
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:43,993
Please!
745
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:47,680
I can hear you in there.
746
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,760
Open the door please!
747
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:51,643
I need help right now, please.
748
00:29:52,966 --> 00:29:53,950
- Just give him a bottle of water,
749
00:29:53,950 --> 00:29:54,960
you can take one of mine.
750
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:55,793
- No.
- No.
751
00:29:55,793 --> 00:29:57,530
- Open the door, please.
752
00:29:57,530 --> 00:29:59,270
I'm not gonna hurt you, I need help.
753
00:29:59,270 --> 00:30:00,553
Please, let me in.
754
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:02,993
- Hey.
755
00:30:02,993 --> 00:30:04,505
What's your name?
756
00:30:04,505 --> 00:30:05,338
- Will.
757
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,440
- Will, I'm Loren.
758
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,775
- Loren, please let me in.
759
00:30:10,775 --> 00:30:13,530
I'm not gonna hurt you, I just need water.
760
00:30:13,530 --> 00:30:15,260
It's not for me I swear.
761
00:30:15,260 --> 00:30:16,880
- Will did you open a window?
762
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:18,969
- No, no, no, I said
don't open the window.
763
00:30:18,969 --> 00:30:20,203
Stop!
764
00:30:21,510 --> 00:30:24,007
Fuck!
765
00:30:24,007 --> 00:30:27,281
Open the fucking door or I'll
kick the fucking door in!
766
00:30:27,281 --> 00:30:28,961
I'll kick it in right now!
767
00:30:28,961 --> 00:30:30,594
Open the fucking door!
768
00:30:30,594 --> 00:30:31,623
Open the door!
769
00:30:34,213 --> 00:30:35,303
- Oh, my God.
770
00:30:37,405 --> 00:30:38,947
- Will, go back to your apartment
771
00:30:38,947 --> 00:30:41,043
and I'm gonna call for help, okay?
772
00:30:41,043 --> 00:30:41,929
- [Will] 1402.
773
00:30:41,929 --> 00:30:43,020
- What?
774
00:30:43,020 --> 00:30:45,660
- Apartment 1402.
775
00:30:45,660 --> 00:30:46,810
- I gotta see this too.
776
00:30:49,804 --> 00:30:50,920
Oh, uh uh.
777
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,980
That's some 28 Days Later shit.
778
00:30:52,980 --> 00:30:54,235
- Will?
779
00:30:54,235 --> 00:30:56,485
(wheezing)
780
00:31:05,882 --> 00:31:06,715
Will?
781
00:31:07,740 --> 00:31:09,270
Will?
782
00:31:09,270 --> 00:31:10,190
- Frankie!
783
00:31:10,190 --> 00:31:11,023
Tape.
784
00:31:12,330 --> 00:31:13,163
Watch out Lo.
785
00:31:16,030 --> 00:31:17,183
- Hey, you okay?
786
00:31:18,020 --> 00:31:20,330
Come on let's take a little minute.
787
00:31:20,330 --> 00:31:21,920
Hey we'll be right back.
788
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,053
Just take a breath, okay?
789
00:31:27,690 --> 00:31:28,523
Hey.
790
00:31:29,980 --> 00:31:32,888
Just put your hands
behind your head, okay?
791
00:31:32,888 --> 00:31:35,626
Come on, and breathe in, all right?
792
00:31:35,626 --> 00:31:36,459
Breathe in.
793
00:31:36,459 --> 00:31:37,292
Go...
794
00:31:38,163 --> 00:31:39,580
Two, three, four.
795
00:31:42,220 --> 00:31:43,120
Okay, do it again.
796
00:31:44,190 --> 00:31:45,851
Three, four.
797
00:31:45,851 --> 00:31:49,890
- Loren, that guy outside
is gonna die any minute
798
00:31:49,890 --> 00:31:52,080
and I watched you lie
to him to calm him down,
799
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,400
and now you're doing that to me.
800
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:57,670
- Whoa hey, I'm not lying to you, okay?
801
00:31:57,670 --> 00:31:58,903
You are okay.
802
00:32:00,860 --> 00:32:03,420
Stacy's gonna sanitize
the hell out of that door.
803
00:32:03,420 --> 00:32:04,253
You know her.
804
00:32:04,253 --> 00:32:07,340
You may not get any fresh
air for a while, but...
805
00:32:11,782 --> 00:32:14,282
We're not dying tonight, Jill.
806
00:32:28,224 --> 00:32:31,080
- This bed is ridiculously comfortable.
807
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:32,510
- See?
808
00:32:32,510 --> 00:32:33,413
Silver linings.
809
00:32:34,730 --> 00:32:35,680
- Maybe.
810
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:36,513
Tiny.
811
00:32:37,942 --> 00:32:39,530
- You want to try and get some sleep
812
00:32:39,530 --> 00:32:40,946
or have some time to yourself?
813
00:32:40,946 --> 00:32:43,946
- No, I don't want to be left alone.
814
00:32:45,504 --> 00:32:48,572
- What can I do for you Jill?
815
00:32:48,572 --> 00:32:51,572
- I need some happiness up in here.
816
00:32:52,753 --> 00:32:53,963
Tell me a joke.
817
00:32:54,930 --> 00:32:55,763
- Okay.
818
00:32:58,090 --> 00:33:00,210
Okay on a scale of one to Frankie
819
00:33:00,210 --> 00:33:02,560
how offensive do you want it?
820
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:03,820
- Surprise me, Lo.
821
00:33:03,820 --> 00:33:05,403
- Okay you ready?
822
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,643
What do gay horses eat?
823
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,393
- Hay!
824
00:33:12,293 --> 00:33:14,493
- What do lesbian horses eat?
825
00:33:16,068 --> 00:33:18,006
- I don't know.
826
00:33:18,006 --> 00:33:18,839
- Ready?
827
00:33:19,819 --> 00:33:20,652
Hay!
828
00:33:22,569 --> 00:33:24,453
- What was that?
829
00:33:24,453 --> 00:33:26,371
- It's my party trick.
830
00:33:26,371 --> 00:33:28,218
- [Jillian] Oh nice deep voice.
831
00:33:28,218 --> 00:33:29,306
- Spooky right?
832
00:33:29,306 --> 00:33:30,139
It's good.
833
00:33:30,139 --> 00:33:32,340
- I hate to break up this flap gathering
834
00:33:32,340 --> 00:33:35,450
but our friend Stacy here
is going to have an aneurism
835
00:33:35,450 --> 00:33:37,860
if she doesn't hear the
E! True Hollywood story
836
00:33:37,860 --> 00:33:40,520
of Jillian Olsen in the next 20 minutes.
837
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:41,353
- Please!
838
00:33:43,060 --> 00:33:44,823
- What is a flap gathering?
839
00:33:46,020 --> 00:33:46,920
- [Loren] Frankie!
840
00:33:48,900 --> 00:33:51,110
- It's two or more vaginas.
841
00:33:51,110 --> 00:33:52,920
Figure it out Jill, you'll get it.
842
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,020
- I'll show you later.
843
00:33:54,860 --> 00:33:56,981
(laughing)
844
00:33:56,981 --> 00:33:58,420
- I'm gonna need another drink.
845
00:33:58,420 --> 00:33:59,620
- [Loren] That I can do.
846
00:34:01,900 --> 00:34:03,063
Some nosy Rosies.
847
00:34:04,335 --> 00:34:05,467
- [Stacy] Give me the goods, bitches.
848
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,100
- Guys, what the fuck?
849
00:34:35,100 --> 00:34:36,330
Whose is this?
850
00:34:36,330 --> 00:34:37,163
Stacy?
851
00:34:37,163 --> 00:34:38,200
- Why do you assume it's me?
852
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:39,600
- Because you read this trash.
853
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,888
- That's all it is, Jill, it's trash.
854
00:34:41,888 --> 00:34:43,950
I didn't get it 'cause
Michael was on the cover,
855
00:34:43,950 --> 00:34:45,420
I got it because Kylie was.
856
00:34:45,420 --> 00:34:46,833
You know I love her.
857
00:34:49,230 --> 00:34:50,203
Is it true?
858
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,450
- Yes.
859
00:34:55,450 --> 00:34:57,750
He's been fucking his
publicist the past year.
860
00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:00,393
Where's my glass?
861
00:35:03,436 --> 00:35:05,196
- I knew it.
862
00:35:05,196 --> 00:35:06,029
- Shut up!
863
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,153
(Jillian crying)
864
00:35:18,445 --> 00:35:19,278
- Oh.
865
00:35:21,227 --> 00:35:22,060
Shit.
866
00:35:30,033 --> 00:35:31,926
- Have any of y'all fucked him?
867
00:35:34,140 --> 00:35:35,590
- What?
868
00:35:35,590 --> 00:35:36,583
- No!
869
00:35:38,500 --> 00:35:40,550
- [Stacy] Why would you ask that?
870
00:35:40,550 --> 00:35:41,540
- Frankie?
871
00:35:41,540 --> 00:35:42,373
- Gross!
872
00:35:42,373 --> 00:35:43,300
Why would you single me out like that?
873
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:45,650
I'm not in the least bit
attracted to Michael.
874
00:35:45,650 --> 00:35:48,471
You know I like black guys, right.
875
00:35:48,471 --> 00:35:53,471
- Rule number one, you don't
fuck your friend's boyfriends.
876
00:35:53,670 --> 00:35:55,700
God Jill, get a grip.
877
00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:58,310
- I would never do that!
878
00:35:58,310 --> 00:36:00,290
You guys are, seriously,
my only girlfriends.
879
00:36:00,290 --> 00:36:02,460
And I'm loyal as fuck!
880
00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:04,020
It's always been like that.
881
00:36:04,020 --> 00:36:06,130
Most women just don't like me.
882
00:36:06,130 --> 00:36:09,540
- Newsflash, it's because you
always flirt with our fellas!
883
00:36:09,540 --> 00:36:10,530
- What?
884
00:36:10,530 --> 00:36:12,344
- Yeah, you do!
885
00:36:12,344 --> 00:36:16,130
You always tell Michael how
much you loved his songs
886
00:36:16,130 --> 00:36:19,020
and you sing every word and
talk about how great they are
887
00:36:19,020 --> 00:36:20,621
and like puff him up!
888
00:36:20,621 --> 00:36:23,312
- That's because I like his music.
889
00:36:23,312 --> 00:36:24,812
- I'm sorry, what?
890
00:36:26,053 --> 00:36:27,387
How?
891
00:36:27,387 --> 00:36:28,963
I don't even like it!
892
00:36:29,890 --> 00:36:34,490
- Okay so shoot me if I think
bro country catchy, Jillian.
893
00:36:34,490 --> 00:36:35,670
Everybody likes Cruise and if they
894
00:36:35,670 --> 00:36:37,120
say they don't they're lying.
895
00:36:37,990 --> 00:36:40,330
- You flirt with Bo, too.
896
00:36:40,330 --> 00:36:41,793
- Okay Stacy, not helping.
897
00:36:43,564 --> 00:36:46,670
And I watch Sunday night football
with Bo, for fuck's sake!
898
00:36:46,670 --> 00:36:48,530
- Frankie, it's fine okay.
899
00:36:48,530 --> 00:36:50,480
Calm down.
900
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:51,453
All right listen.
901
00:36:53,249 --> 00:36:55,760
I have never felt threatened by you
902
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,653
watching football with Bo.
903
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:00,230
Honest to God.
904
00:37:00,230 --> 00:37:02,750
You two could sleep in
the same bed together
905
00:37:02,750 --> 00:37:06,000
and I wouldn't care
because I trust you both.
906
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,740
That's what's really wrong here, Jill.
907
00:37:08,740 --> 00:37:12,210
You don't trust Michael,
and you're misplacing that
908
00:37:12,210 --> 00:37:14,420
on our very dear friend
Frankie right now, okay?
909
00:37:14,420 --> 00:37:15,563
So Frankie, hey.
910
00:37:16,490 --> 00:37:17,323
Hey.
911
00:37:20,260 --> 00:37:21,335
Hey.
912
00:37:21,335 --> 00:37:23,050
It's not your fault.
913
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:26,033
Okay?
914
00:37:28,610 --> 00:37:29,960
- This makes so much sense.
915
00:37:31,610 --> 00:37:33,650
Girls don't like me because
I get along with their men
916
00:37:33,650 --> 00:37:35,007
better than they do.
917
00:37:36,510 --> 00:37:37,343
- It's true.
918
00:37:39,630 --> 00:37:41,377
- Y'all, lemme just tell y'all something.
919
00:37:43,580 --> 00:37:45,730
Y'all know I was raised
by my dad and brothers.
920
00:37:45,730 --> 00:37:48,850
Okay, so here's some
safe space shit for you.
921
00:37:48,850 --> 00:37:50,030
I know I mentioned that I was bullied,
922
00:37:50,030 --> 00:37:54,623
but I don't know if I really
mentioned how bad it was,
923
00:37:54,623 --> 00:37:57,000
because it was really bad.
924
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,823
Kids are fuckin' cruel.
925
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:02,770
My brothers looked out for me,
926
00:38:02,770 --> 00:38:03,850
and when they got tired of seeing me
927
00:38:03,850 --> 00:38:05,250
get off the bus everyday crying,
928
00:38:05,250 --> 00:38:08,330
they just took me in with their crew.
929
00:38:08,330 --> 00:38:11,087
They stood up for me and they taught me
930
00:38:11,087 --> 00:38:13,260
how to stand up for myself.
931
00:38:13,260 --> 00:38:16,381
And I became the little
sister of the entire
932
00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:18,493
Westside Football team, okay?
933
00:38:19,790 --> 00:38:22,793
Clear eyes, full hearts and Frankie.
934
00:38:23,700 --> 00:38:24,750
Can't lose.
935
00:38:24,750 --> 00:38:27,630
So cheerleaders started coming up to me
936
00:38:27,630 --> 00:38:29,030
to get closer to the guys.
937
00:38:29,030 --> 00:38:30,950
Roles changed, y'all.
938
00:38:30,950 --> 00:38:34,430
And the one thing I learned,
and I still standby it today,
939
00:38:34,430 --> 00:38:37,410
dammit, is that men treat you as an equal
940
00:38:37,410 --> 00:38:39,560
if you just learn the offsides rule.
941
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:40,540
- Praise.
942
00:38:40,540 --> 00:38:43,810
- I climbed the social ladder
because I toughened up.
943
00:38:43,810 --> 00:38:45,320
This is me.
944
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:46,450
Take it or leave it.
945
00:38:46,450 --> 00:38:49,620
I can hang with the boys
and I hang with the girls.
946
00:38:49,620 --> 00:38:52,730
I can watch the Titans
or Bridget Jones Diary.
947
00:38:52,730 --> 00:38:54,580
I can do both and that's great.
948
00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:55,540
And it's okay.
949
00:38:55,540 --> 00:38:58,170
It doesn't mean I want your man's dick!
950
00:38:58,170 --> 00:38:59,003
Okay?
951
00:38:59,003 --> 00:38:59,836
Jesus.
952
00:39:00,740 --> 00:39:01,573
- I'm sorry.
953
00:39:03,610 --> 00:39:05,177
Please, don't cry, Frankie.
954
00:39:05,177 --> 00:39:06,780
- You fuckin' stop crying.
955
00:39:06,780 --> 00:39:07,613
- Okay.
956
00:39:08,730 --> 00:39:10,080
- Hey.
957
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:10,933
Hey you two.
958
00:39:13,150 --> 00:39:14,157
Hug it out!
959
00:39:17,812 --> 00:39:18,729
Hug it out.
960
00:39:30,431 --> 00:39:33,098
(Jill laughing)
961
00:39:36,003 --> 00:39:37,503
- Are you okay Jill?
962
00:39:39,940 --> 00:39:42,097
- I'm so sorry, y'all.
963
00:39:42,097 --> 00:39:44,070
- You're freaking me out.
964
00:39:44,070 --> 00:39:46,060
- She's got the crazy eyes.
965
00:39:46,060 --> 00:39:47,853
- I'm just like taking it all in.
966
00:39:49,585 --> 00:39:50,502
This is it.
967
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:54,803
This is not how I thought I'd go.
968
00:39:58,630 --> 00:40:00,503
It's not gonna be quick is it?
969
00:40:06,497 --> 00:40:08,970
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
970
00:40:08,970 --> 00:40:10,113
I just need a minute.
971
00:40:11,343 --> 00:40:12,176
- Okay.
972
00:40:18,611 --> 00:40:21,194
(gentle music)
973
00:40:35,006 --> 00:40:35,839
- Oh.
974
00:40:35,839 --> 00:40:37,290
That's nice.
975
00:40:50,540 --> 00:40:51,930
- [PJ] Safe shelters are being set up
976
00:40:51,930 --> 00:40:54,027
and once they open we will inform you.
977
00:40:54,027 --> 00:40:56,610
For now, do not exit any buildings.
978
00:40:56,610 --> 00:40:58,200
Let's take one more call.
979
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,833
This is WBNA Nashville,
you've got PJ Weller.
980
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:02,840
- [Sloan] Hi.
981
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:04,088
Hi.
982
00:41:04,088 --> 00:41:07,610
I'm Sloan, and we're in the building.
983
00:41:07,610 --> 00:41:10,103
No one's coming, are they?
984
00:41:10,940 --> 00:41:12,097
Why isn't anyone sending help?
985
00:41:12,097 --> 00:41:13,200
People can't see.
986
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:14,063
We can't breathe!
987
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,043
- Holy fucking shit.
988
00:41:25,010 --> 00:41:28,597
I'm gonna starfish the bed
for a little bit, okay,
989
00:41:28,597 --> 00:41:30,213
I just need to clear my head.
990
00:41:32,375 --> 00:41:34,510
- Do what you gotta do, Lo.
991
00:41:34,510 --> 00:41:35,760
We're not going anywhere.
992
00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:38,420
- You don't wanna go to 80s night?
993
00:41:49,831 --> 00:41:50,664
- Oh, hi.
994
00:41:51,780 --> 00:41:52,947
I'm Shannon.
995
00:41:52,947 --> 00:41:56,393
I'm your husband's new publicist, Shannon.
996
00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:59,307
We're gonna be good pals.
997
00:41:59,307 --> 00:42:02,070
You're just so beautiful.
998
00:42:02,070 --> 00:42:03,450
Beautiful, my ass.
999
00:42:03,450 --> 00:42:05,300
Compared to your dumb bitch face
1000
00:42:05,300 --> 00:42:07,510
and your dumb bitch fake hair.
1001
00:42:07,510 --> 00:42:09,220
Probably clip in extensions.
1002
00:42:09,220 --> 00:42:10,400
You don't even have titties!
1003
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:11,447
Screw you Shannon!
1004
00:42:11,447 --> 00:42:12,980
No, no.
1005
00:42:12,980 --> 00:42:14,160
Fuck you.
1006
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:15,233
Fuck you Shannon.
1007
00:42:16,250 --> 00:42:17,250
Fucking redheads.
1008
00:42:17,250 --> 00:42:19,120
I can't even fucking get away from them.
1009
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:19,953
I'm sorry.
1010
00:42:19,953 --> 00:42:20,786
I'm sorry Payton.
1011
00:42:20,786 --> 00:42:21,619
Your probably really nice.
1012
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,013
- Okay, I'm back.
1013
00:42:26,810 --> 00:42:28,563
This sucks.
1014
00:42:31,146 --> 00:42:32,729
This fucking sucks.
1015
00:42:34,496 --> 00:42:35,329
It sucks.
1016
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:37,833
Oh my God.
1017
00:42:39,645 --> 00:42:40,478
Bo,
1018
00:42:41,865 --> 00:42:43,790
I wish you were here.
1019
00:42:50,419 --> 00:42:51,831
I wish you were here.
1020
00:42:51,831 --> 00:42:54,930
Next time, if you wanna go fishing,
1021
00:42:54,930 --> 00:42:58,830
baby I will go fishing
with you, I promise.
1022
00:42:58,830 --> 00:43:01,610
You know that I love the outdoors,
1023
00:43:01,610 --> 00:43:02,560
I do, I do.
1024
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:06,950
I just, God, I just, I
don't want to bait the hook,
1025
00:43:06,950 --> 00:43:08,567
you know?
1026
00:43:08,567 --> 00:43:10,977
But I mean I will climb up whatever
1027
00:43:10,977 --> 00:43:12,540
little mountain you want,
1028
00:43:12,540 --> 00:43:15,070
I will wear Tevas for Gods sake.
1029
00:43:15,910 --> 00:43:18,093
That sounds so good right now.
1030
00:43:25,906 --> 00:43:26,739
I'm okay.
1031
00:43:28,811 --> 00:43:29,644
I'm okay.
1032
00:43:33,218 --> 00:43:34,135
Okay, okay.
1033
00:43:38,959 --> 00:43:39,792
I'm okay.
1034
00:43:42,506 --> 00:43:46,080
There is not enough yoga on this planet
1035
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,710
that could prepare me for tonight.
1036
00:43:50,054 --> 00:43:50,887
But baby,
1037
00:43:52,170 --> 00:43:53,563
I am okay.
1038
00:44:01,930 --> 00:44:04,230
- Stacy, you know there aren't cell towers
1039
00:44:04,230 --> 00:44:05,830
behind the dishwasher.
1040
00:44:05,830 --> 00:44:07,000
- I didn't build the grid.
1041
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,523
I don't know where the signals are.
1042
00:44:08,523 --> 00:44:13,523
- This is fucked.
1043
00:44:15,344 --> 00:44:17,530
- This is so fucked.
1044
00:44:17,530 --> 00:44:21,323
This is call Bruce Willis
and Liam Neeson fucked.
1045
00:44:23,970 --> 00:44:26,870
And the Avengers, and the Justice League.
1046
00:44:26,870 --> 00:44:29,453
- Sure, just mix the universes.
1047
00:44:30,333 --> 00:44:31,830
- And the Power Rangers.
1048
00:44:31,830 --> 00:44:33,383
- Oh hell, yes.
1049
00:44:36,990 --> 00:44:38,030
Hey what's that...
1050
00:44:38,030 --> 00:44:40,021
Do you smell something?
1051
00:44:40,021 --> 00:44:42,543
It smells like fresh flowers.
1052
00:44:44,010 --> 00:44:45,623
- That's Santal 26.
1053
00:44:46,940 --> 00:44:49,113
Of course, Melissa has Le Labo candles.
1054
00:44:50,230 --> 00:44:51,510
I want one in here.
1055
00:44:51,510 --> 00:44:54,163
If we're gonna die, we're
gonna smell amazing.
1056
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,840
What the heck?
1057
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:03,720
What are you doing?
1058
00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:05,840
That was our drinking water!
1059
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,323
- I'm not interested
in what you're saying.
1060
00:45:08,323 --> 00:45:10,800
- What in the actual fuck, Jillian?
1061
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,380
- You do know those candles are worth
1062
00:45:12,380 --> 00:45:14,550
like 100 bucks a piece?
1063
00:45:14,550 --> 00:45:15,610
- Really?
1064
00:45:15,610 --> 00:45:16,663
- Well they are.
1065
00:45:17,733 --> 00:45:19,957
- That explains a lot.
1066
00:45:19,957 --> 00:45:21,200
They smell amazing.
1067
00:45:25,910 --> 00:45:27,003
- I'm taking them.
1068
00:45:29,570 --> 00:45:30,403
- Wait, what?
1069
00:45:30,403 --> 00:45:31,236
What's...
1070
00:45:36,342 --> 00:45:37,175
Jillian!
1071
00:45:39,180 --> 00:45:43,360
- Lo, I'm reading your
article on long distance love.
1072
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:44,890
You're incredible.
1073
00:45:44,890 --> 00:45:47,450
I'm sorry I never read your magazine.
1074
00:45:47,450 --> 00:45:49,040
I'm a bad friend.
1075
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:52,590
- Jillian, you just bath
bombed our drinking water.
1076
00:45:52,590 --> 00:45:54,780
You are the worst friend!
1077
00:45:54,780 --> 00:45:57,990
I mean are you trying to kill us?
1078
00:45:57,990 --> 00:45:59,010
- We're gonna die anyway.
1079
00:45:59,010 --> 00:46:01,713
- We're gonna die a lot
faster now, you asshole!
1080
00:46:02,690 --> 00:46:03,883
- I'm doing us a favor.
1081
00:46:09,772 --> 00:46:11,820
- Get out of the tub, I'm
throwing you off the balcony.
1082
00:46:11,820 --> 00:46:13,010
- No, just wait.
1083
00:46:13,010 --> 00:46:17,417
You can fend for yourself
in Chernobyl, Jillian!
1084
00:46:18,540 --> 00:46:20,247
- She's gonna angry cry now.
1085
00:46:20,247 --> 00:46:22,550
You just pissed off white Oprah.
1086
00:46:22,550 --> 00:46:23,563
- Uh, please.
1087
00:46:24,900 --> 00:46:25,790
- Fuck you, Jillian.
1088
00:46:25,790 --> 00:46:26,803
- Oh, shut up.
1089
00:46:28,162 --> 00:46:30,355
- I hope you choke on a dick and die.
1090
00:46:30,355 --> 00:46:33,040
- Where exactly does one find
a dick in the apocalypse?
1091
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:34,407
- You know what, when I find one,
1092
00:46:34,407 --> 00:46:37,089
I'm gonna shove it down
your selfish throat!
1093
00:46:37,089 --> 00:46:38,490
- I look forward to it.
1094
00:46:38,490 --> 00:46:39,323
- Same.
1095
00:47:04,759 --> 00:47:06,092
- It's okay, Lo.
1096
00:47:08,357 --> 00:47:09,190
- Is it?
1097
00:47:13,512 --> 00:47:14,345
- No.
1098
00:47:15,660 --> 00:47:17,707
No it really isn't.
1099
00:47:17,707 --> 00:47:19,430
Jillian's a bitch, okay?
1100
00:47:19,430 --> 00:47:23,683
And you have been nothing
but amazing to all of us.
1101
00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:27,218
- You've held it together all night.
1102
00:47:27,218 --> 00:47:29,693
You deserve to fall apart if you need to.
1103
00:47:31,141 --> 00:47:34,073
- I just need to hang on
to a little hope, y'all.
1104
00:47:36,468 --> 00:47:41,002
I just need the slightest
possibility of us surviving this.
1105
00:47:41,002 --> 00:47:44,939
Cause I can't handle the
thoughts in my head right now.
1106
00:47:44,939 --> 00:47:46,939
- What are you thinking?
1107
00:47:48,599 --> 00:47:51,599
- That I'm never gonna see Bo again.
1108
00:47:52,655 --> 00:47:54,343
And my mom,
1109
00:47:54,343 --> 00:47:55,426
or my family.
1110
00:47:57,913 --> 00:48:01,293
And what happens if
you run out of insulin?
1111
00:48:03,294 --> 00:48:05,840
- I mean we're all just gonna
have to put up with some shit.
1112
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:08,860
- Oh my God, is it gonna be like Shelby?
1113
00:48:08,860 --> 00:48:11,160
- No, I am not gonna be like Shelby.
1114
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:13,140
I fucking hate that movie.
1115
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:15,870
- That's Jillian's favorite movie.
1116
00:48:15,870 --> 00:48:17,953
- Oh well fuck Jillian.
1117
00:48:18,896 --> 00:48:22,073
The only thing awesome in
that movie is Dolly Parton.
1118
00:48:22,073 --> 00:48:22,906
- Praise.
1119
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,156
- It's still gonna be...
1120
00:48:30,156 --> 00:48:31,950
(sighs)
1121
00:48:31,950 --> 00:48:32,983
Not okay.
1122
00:48:34,134 --> 00:48:35,680
- I'm not mad at Jillian.
1123
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,430
- Well, that makes one of us.
1124
00:48:38,430 --> 00:48:39,327
- Me neither.
1125
00:48:39,327 --> 00:48:41,150
What's the point?
1126
00:48:41,150 --> 00:48:42,453
- She's just sad.
1127
00:48:43,580 --> 00:48:44,413
I'm sad, too.
1128
00:48:46,055 --> 00:48:48,480
And if bath bombs make her feel better,
1129
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,223
then I'm glad that she did it.
1130
00:48:51,988 --> 00:48:53,240
- Lo, you amaze me.
1131
00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:56,295
You like can't stay mad at anybody.
1132
00:48:56,295 --> 00:48:57,733
- What's the point?
1133
00:48:59,350 --> 00:49:00,183
- Fair point.
1134
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:02,170
- Guys...
1135
00:49:03,390 --> 00:49:05,280
- Nobody's mad at you.
1136
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:06,830
- [Jillian] Seriously?
1137
00:49:06,830 --> 00:49:08,080
- [All] What's the point?
1138
00:49:12,174 --> 00:49:13,007
- Lo.
1139
00:49:14,542 --> 00:49:16,700
I thought I broke you.
1140
00:49:16,700 --> 00:49:17,740
- Don't flatter yourself.
1141
00:49:17,740 --> 00:49:19,143
The potato-haters broke her.
1142
00:49:20,848 --> 00:49:23,360
- You still wanna throw
me off the balcony?
1143
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:24,193
- Lil bit.
1144
00:49:26,990 --> 00:49:29,638
- God, those candles do
smell really good though.
1145
00:49:29,638 --> 00:49:30,695
- [Stacy] Right.
1146
00:49:30,695 --> 00:49:32,081
(laughing)
1147
00:49:32,081 --> 00:49:33,031
- [Jillian] Lo.
1148
00:49:33,031 --> 00:49:33,864
- Hmm?
1149
00:49:35,489 --> 00:49:37,406
- Do you want a cookie?
1150
00:49:41,356 --> 00:49:42,189
- Mm-hmm.
1151
00:49:50,910 --> 00:49:51,743
- Okay.
1152
00:49:52,653 --> 00:49:54,106
Relax.
1153
00:49:54,106 --> 00:49:56,606
She's going to get the cookie.
1154
00:50:11,831 --> 00:50:13,899
(moans)
1155
00:50:13,899 --> 00:50:16,774
- Oh my God.
1156
00:50:16,774 --> 00:50:17,857
It's so good.
1157
00:50:19,303 --> 00:50:20,433
- I'm starting to think you guys
1158
00:50:20,433 --> 00:50:22,897
only keep me around for my cookies.
1159
00:50:22,897 --> 00:50:25,107
- And 'cause you're Abby.
1160
00:50:25,107 --> 00:50:26,290
Duh.
1161
00:50:26,290 --> 00:50:27,930
- Hey.
1162
00:50:27,930 --> 00:50:29,820
I hate to interrupt the
cooter conference here,
1163
00:50:29,820 --> 00:50:33,750
I just wanted to make
sure you guys are okay.
1164
00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:34,909
Okay.
1165
00:50:34,909 --> 00:50:35,742
- Okay.
1166
00:50:37,791 --> 00:50:38,624
- Okay.
1167
00:50:39,810 --> 00:50:40,643
Cool.
1168
00:50:40,643 --> 00:50:43,133
So um, cool.
1169
00:50:43,133 --> 00:50:45,360
What you guys doing in
here, just hanging out,
1170
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:46,210
eating a cookie?
1171
00:50:46,210 --> 00:50:49,260
You meditating on the toilet?
1172
00:50:49,260 --> 00:50:52,840
- Yes Frankie, because I
typically meditate on the toilet.
1173
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,420
Not on a silk poof in
my beautifully designed
1174
00:50:55,420 --> 00:50:56,727
home yoga studio.
1175
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:01,997
I miss the Buddha nook.
1176
00:51:03,550 --> 00:51:04,623
- Where's Stacy at?
1177
00:51:05,503 --> 00:51:07,760
- Oh when I left she was
spooning the refrigerator
1178
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,510
looking for signal.
1179
00:51:09,510 --> 00:51:11,362
- I will get a signal.
1180
00:51:11,362 --> 00:51:13,823
- That girl is nothing if not determined.
1181
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:15,553
- Frankie,
1182
00:51:16,670 --> 00:51:18,810
I never thought that
you slept with Michael.
1183
00:51:18,810 --> 00:51:20,863
You know I didn't mean it, right?
1184
00:51:21,714 --> 00:51:23,291
- Yeah.
1185
00:51:23,291 --> 00:51:24,690
We're all good.
1186
00:51:24,690 --> 00:51:25,523
Just,
1187
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,510
moving on and...
1188
00:51:30,410 --> 00:51:32,180
Don't make it weird.
1189
00:51:32,180 --> 00:51:34,263
Don't make it weird.
1190
00:51:35,281 --> 00:51:37,417
- [PJ] Stay strong for those boys.
1191
00:51:37,417 --> 00:51:38,547
Let's get one more call.
1192
00:51:38,547 --> 00:51:39,860
Who am I speaking with?
1193
00:51:39,860 --> 00:51:41,203
- [Bo] Hi, This is Bo.
1194
00:51:42,540 --> 00:51:44,640
I'm calling hoping my girlfriend hears me.
1195
00:51:45,500 --> 00:51:47,840
I don't even know what time it is there.
1196
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,892
Lo, if you hear me, there's
no planes allowed to fly
1197
00:51:50,892 --> 00:51:52,593
into the US right now.
1198
00:51:53,429 --> 00:51:55,940
I'm sorry I can't be there.
1199
00:51:55,940 --> 00:51:57,063
Don't be scared.
1200
00:51:59,060 --> 00:52:00,173
I know you're not.
1201
00:52:01,130 --> 00:52:03,880
If I know you, you're keeping
everyone around you calm.
1202
00:52:04,850 --> 00:52:06,420
I'm at Bezmer Air Base.
1203
00:52:06,420 --> 00:52:07,500
We're listening constantly.
1204
00:52:07,500 --> 00:52:09,900
I'm coming home as soon as I can.
1205
00:52:09,900 --> 00:52:10,733
I love you, Loren.
1206
00:52:10,733 --> 00:52:12,059
I'll see you soon.
1207
00:52:12,059 --> 00:52:16,070
- Loren, if you're listening,
your fella loves you.
1208
00:52:16,070 --> 00:52:17,283
And stay strong, honey.
1209
00:52:19,460 --> 00:52:22,640
- See, not everyone's losing it.
1210
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:24,390
- Well, Loren's got her hands full.
1211
00:52:30,900 --> 00:52:32,653
- [Loren] This fucking night.
1212
00:52:38,343 --> 00:52:39,347
- [Stacy] I have a signal!
1213
00:52:39,347 --> 00:52:40,180
I have a signal!
1214
00:52:40,180 --> 00:52:41,360
- What, you do?
1215
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:42,724
- [Stacy] Fuck!
1216
00:52:42,724 --> 00:52:44,416
False alarm.
1217
00:52:44,416 --> 00:52:45,416
False alarm.
1218
00:52:47,242 --> 00:52:49,393
Do y'all think Mel has weed?
1219
00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:54,333
- Melissa did invest in
solar vapor technology.
1220
00:52:55,870 --> 00:52:57,885
- That is not a real thing.
1221
00:52:57,885 --> 00:53:00,027
- Yeah it is, it's like the future.
1222
00:53:01,020 --> 00:53:02,858
Yeah, space weed.
1223
00:53:02,858 --> 00:53:06,950
Oh wait, I know just
where to look for weed.
1224
00:53:06,950 --> 00:53:08,331
Hold please.
1225
00:53:08,331 --> 00:53:10,998
(upbeat music)
1226
00:53:15,489 --> 00:53:16,728
Oh my God.
1227
00:53:16,728 --> 00:53:17,867
Melissa.
1228
00:53:17,867 --> 00:53:20,708
How many of these shirts did you buy?
1229
00:53:20,708 --> 00:53:21,541
God.
1230
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:29,053
Oh my God.
1231
00:53:30,550 --> 00:53:31,403
Shut up.
1232
00:53:34,269 --> 00:53:35,269
Oh, jackpot.
1233
00:53:38,740 --> 00:53:40,703
Melissa, what a class act.
1234
00:53:43,524 --> 00:53:46,274
♪ Wanna get high ♪
1235
00:53:50,464 --> 00:53:52,297
- What flavor is this?
1236
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:57,577
- Purple pajama.
1237
00:53:57,577 --> 00:53:59,581
(laughing)
1238
00:53:59,581 --> 00:54:01,363
- I think you mean blue dream.
1239
00:54:03,570 --> 00:54:04,403
- That'll work.
1240
00:54:05,500 --> 00:54:07,121
I have a really good idea.
1241
00:54:07,121 --> 00:54:08,850
- What?
1242
00:54:08,850 --> 00:54:10,870
- What if you don't braid my hair anymore
1243
00:54:10,870 --> 00:54:12,000
and just tousle it?
1244
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,236
- Is that tousling?
1245
00:54:13,236 --> 00:54:14,340
Who says tousle?
1246
00:54:14,340 --> 00:54:15,380
It's like--
1247
00:54:15,380 --> 00:54:16,213
- Harder, harder.
1248
00:54:16,213 --> 00:54:17,046
- Harder?
1249
00:54:17,046 --> 00:54:17,879
- Slower.
1250
00:54:17,879 --> 00:54:18,712
- Slower?
1251
00:54:18,712 --> 00:54:20,126
- Oh.
1252
00:54:20,126 --> 00:54:24,927
- I feel so much better.
1253
00:54:26,078 --> 00:54:27,645
- Right?
1254
00:54:27,645 --> 00:54:30,090
- I've never been high before.
1255
00:54:30,090 --> 00:54:31,695
- Seriously?
1256
00:54:31,695 --> 00:54:33,294
- No one ever pushed.
1257
00:54:33,294 --> 00:54:34,630
- Of course not.
1258
00:54:34,630 --> 00:54:37,040
- I assumed every child
star had tried coke
1259
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:38,410
past the age of puberty.
1260
00:54:38,410 --> 00:54:39,835
- Nope.
1261
00:54:39,835 --> 00:54:41,480
I've just always been scared.
1262
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:42,313
- Of weed?
1263
00:54:43,943 --> 00:54:46,020
- Of everything.
1264
00:54:46,020 --> 00:54:48,150
- Well, I am totally stoked that
1265
00:54:48,150 --> 00:54:50,853
the first time you did it is with us.
1266
00:54:53,095 --> 00:54:55,913
- Hashtag me too.
1267
00:54:57,050 --> 00:54:58,710
- No, no.
1268
00:54:58,710 --> 00:55:02,493
- I mean, I am relaxed, y'all.
1269
00:55:05,573 --> 00:55:09,183
I mean I'm still scared, but I'm okay.
1270
00:55:09,183 --> 00:55:11,143
It's beyond my control.
1271
00:55:13,216 --> 00:55:15,003
- Weed makes you rational, Jill.
1272
00:55:16,809 --> 00:55:17,642
- Hush.
1273
00:55:22,684 --> 00:55:24,934
(laughing)
1274
00:55:27,993 --> 00:55:30,660
(melodic music)
1275
00:55:36,689 --> 00:55:38,505
- [Loren] Jackpot.
1276
00:55:38,505 --> 00:55:40,627
- Are we gonna play hangman?
1277
00:55:40,627 --> 00:55:41,460
- No.
1278
00:55:42,293 --> 00:55:43,680
No you know that piece I
told you I was writing about?
1279
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:45,710
The piece I was writing.
1280
00:55:45,710 --> 00:55:46,543
For next month.
1281
00:55:48,130 --> 00:55:48,963
Yeah.
1282
00:55:48,963 --> 00:55:50,640
Anyways, no.
1283
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:52,290
I just feel like I
really need to finish it
1284
00:55:52,290 --> 00:55:53,967
and my battery's about to die,
1285
00:55:53,967 --> 00:55:56,451
so I wanna get a copy on paper, you know?
1286
00:55:56,451 --> 00:55:59,330
- Yeah well my phone's already dead.
1287
00:55:59,330 --> 00:56:00,650
- I left my phone at home.
1288
00:56:00,650 --> 00:56:01,920
- What?
1289
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,120
- What are you gonna do?
1290
00:56:04,170 --> 00:56:05,782
- Look,
1291
00:56:05,782 --> 00:56:08,060
we need to talk about this.
1292
00:56:08,060 --> 00:56:09,660
This is what keeps eating at me.
1293
00:56:11,056 --> 00:56:12,253
When we die,
1294
00:56:13,910 --> 00:56:14,813
does it hurt?
1295
00:56:15,780 --> 00:56:17,073
- Where did you get that?
1296
00:56:18,300 --> 00:56:21,420
You know what, I bet Mel
has enough muscle relaxers
1297
00:56:21,420 --> 00:56:24,255
to where we could just make
a cocktail and go to sleep.
1298
00:56:24,255 --> 00:56:27,620
- If you really wanna make
it quick she's got a gun.
1299
00:56:27,620 --> 00:56:28,843
- Excuse me, what?
1300
00:56:29,850 --> 00:56:30,770
- Oh, yeah.
1301
00:56:30,770 --> 00:56:32,260
I hate to break it to you, Lo,
1302
00:56:32,260 --> 00:56:34,969
but our friend Mel is a Republican.
1303
00:56:34,969 --> 00:56:35,802
- No!
1304
00:56:35,802 --> 00:56:37,390
- Yes.
1305
00:56:37,390 --> 00:56:38,223
- No way.
1306
00:56:38,223 --> 00:56:39,056
- I hate her.
1307
00:56:39,056 --> 00:56:40,367
- No, you don't, she's
one of your best friends.
1308
00:56:40,367 --> 00:56:41,810
- Who left us!
1309
00:56:41,810 --> 00:56:44,740
To die with nothing but pizza and a gun.
1310
00:56:44,740 --> 00:56:47,121
- Okay well she said have at it.
1311
00:56:47,121 --> 00:56:48,560
Mel wanted to get some D.
1312
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:50,290
The girl needed to be
dicked down before she dies.
1313
00:56:50,290 --> 00:56:52,770
You gotta respect her
for owning that shit.
1314
00:56:52,770 --> 00:56:54,040
- And you're not alone.
1315
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:56,543
- Yeah, we're gonna die together.
1316
00:56:57,450 --> 00:56:58,283
With pizza.
1317
00:56:58,283 --> 00:56:59,680
- And a gun.
1318
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:00,513
See!
1319
00:57:00,513 --> 00:57:04,580
- And Stace, now do you see why
Mel didn't use social media?
1320
00:57:04,580 --> 00:57:07,480
It's because it was
better when we didn't know
1321
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:09,210
our friends political
and religious beliefs.
1322
00:57:09,210 --> 00:57:10,550
Things were just easier.
1323
00:57:10,550 --> 00:57:13,100
There is a beauty in the
unity that it can create.
1324
00:57:13,100 --> 00:57:15,262
You know, I mean it's frickin' amazing
1325
00:57:15,262 --> 00:57:17,700
that we can still keep in
touch with our friends,
1326
00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:20,010
you know, on the other side of the world.
1327
00:57:20,010 --> 00:57:20,933
My God.
1328
00:57:21,890 --> 00:57:24,910
But it also sincerely and tremendously
1329
00:57:24,910 --> 00:57:27,250
damages interpersonal
connections and relationships,
1330
00:57:27,250 --> 00:57:28,083
you know?
1331
00:57:30,060 --> 00:57:31,560
Sometimes I wish I had an off button
1332
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:33,850
for this verbal diarrhea, but,
1333
00:57:33,850 --> 00:57:36,120
pot just makes me wax intellectual.
1334
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:37,500
It's a catch 22.
1335
00:57:37,500 --> 00:57:38,810
- Yeah, okay.
1336
00:57:38,810 --> 00:57:40,370
Where'd you get that chocolate?
1337
00:57:40,370 --> 00:57:41,203
- Right here.
1338
00:57:41,203 --> 00:57:44,160
You just like open up a
drawer and chocolate appears.
1339
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:45,230
Check it.
1340
00:57:45,230 --> 00:57:47,919
- And in her heart, she
voted for Hill, okay?
1341
00:57:47,919 --> 00:57:49,240
You let me have that.
1342
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:50,113
- Hold please.
1343
00:57:51,130 --> 00:57:52,580
Where is the gun?
1344
00:57:52,580 --> 00:57:53,540
I need to know.
1345
00:57:53,540 --> 00:57:56,268
Statistically, I'm the
most likely to get shot.
1346
00:57:56,268 --> 00:57:58,150
- No one's gonna shoot you.
1347
00:57:58,150 --> 00:58:00,800
- Yeah, no one ever plans
on shooting black people.
1348
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:02,250
That shit just happens.
1349
00:58:02,250 --> 00:58:04,630
- Okay no one is gonna shoot you, Stacy.
1350
00:58:04,630 --> 00:58:07,830
No one is shooting anyone.
1351
00:58:07,830 --> 00:58:10,621
- What If I asked you to?
1352
00:58:10,621 --> 00:58:12,970
Would you shoot me?
1353
00:58:12,970 --> 00:58:14,360
- [All] No.
1354
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:15,193
- Okay.
1355
00:58:15,193 --> 00:58:16,230
That settles it.
1356
00:58:16,230 --> 00:58:17,660
- [Frankie] Okay, Stacy,
1357
00:58:17,660 --> 00:58:19,860
I do have a serious question for you.
1358
00:58:19,860 --> 00:58:21,393
- Hashtag safe space?
1359
00:58:23,240 --> 00:58:25,540
- Sure, yeah, that's fine.
1360
00:58:25,540 --> 00:58:26,373
Stacy,
1361
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:29,510
has your mom
1362
00:58:31,138 --> 00:58:33,412
♪ Got it going on ♪
1363
00:58:33,412 --> 00:58:36,260
- Oh yeah, okay, like I've
never heard that before.
1364
00:58:36,260 --> 00:58:38,500
You know what, this is one of those songs
1365
00:58:38,500 --> 00:58:39,810
that all white people love.
1366
00:58:39,810 --> 00:58:40,643
All of you.
1367
00:58:40,643 --> 00:58:42,480
You love that shit.
1368
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:43,333
Get off of me.
1369
00:58:44,825 --> 00:58:47,398
- That's how we danced
to it in eighth grade.
1370
00:58:47,398 --> 00:58:49,046
(laughing)
1371
00:58:49,046 --> 00:58:50,560
- No you didn't.
1372
00:59:03,081 --> 00:59:05,269
- [Stacy] Signal?
1373
00:59:05,269 --> 00:59:06,730
- No.
1374
00:59:06,730 --> 00:59:07,663
I'm almost dead.
1375
00:59:09,090 --> 00:59:10,750
Well, the phone.
1376
00:59:10,750 --> 00:59:12,082
Not me.
1377
00:59:12,082 --> 00:59:12,953
Not yet.
1378
00:59:15,235 --> 00:59:17,285
I was just looking at pictures of my mom.
1379
00:59:18,129 --> 00:59:22,010
We normally talk everyday,
and of course today we didn't.
1380
00:59:22,010 --> 00:59:23,660
- She knows.
1381
00:59:23,660 --> 00:59:25,280
Moms have that kinda instinct.
1382
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:27,183
- How old were you when you lost your mom?
1383
00:59:28,410 --> 00:59:31,883
- I had just turned four the
week before the accident.
1384
00:59:34,630 --> 00:59:36,863
I have the vaguest memory of her.
1385
00:59:38,290 --> 00:59:41,800
I was sick, and she came in
1386
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:46,800
and put a cold cloth on my
head when I had a fever.
1387
00:59:47,070 --> 00:59:50,776
And she had these big blue eyes that said
1388
00:59:50,776 --> 00:59:52,593
everything's gonna be okay.
1389
00:59:54,048 --> 00:59:56,550
- That is the sweetest
thing I have ever heard
1390
00:59:56,550 --> 00:59:57,993
come out of your foul mouth.
1391
01:00:00,620 --> 01:00:01,807
- What about you Stace?
1392
01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:03,770
You never talk about your mom.
1393
01:00:03,770 --> 01:00:04,883
- We don't talk much.
1394
01:00:05,940 --> 01:00:06,773
- Why not?
1395
01:00:06,773 --> 01:00:10,840
I mean, who is Stacy's mom,
and does she have it going on?
1396
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:14,550
- Stacy's mom is a very religious
woman from the 9th Ward.
1397
01:00:14,550 --> 01:00:16,210
She used to be married to a pastor,
1398
01:00:16,210 --> 01:00:19,483
and a gay daughter was
too much to deal with.
1399
01:00:20,929 --> 01:00:22,893
- You have a gay sister?
1400
01:00:25,460 --> 01:00:26,293
- Jill,
1401
01:00:27,130 --> 01:00:28,867
I am so proud.
1402
01:00:28,867 --> 01:00:30,693
I'm seeing a lot of growth.
1403
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:33,760
If I had a gold star,
I would give you one.
1404
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:36,164
- Go on, Stace.
1405
01:00:36,164 --> 01:00:37,180
- Okay.
1406
01:00:37,180 --> 01:00:40,563
So my mom ended up
divorcing my dad over it.
1407
01:00:41,550 --> 01:00:43,290
They were always fighting over me.
1408
01:00:43,290 --> 01:00:45,171
So I perpetuated it.
1409
01:00:45,171 --> 01:00:46,363
- What do you mean?
1410
01:00:47,329 --> 01:00:49,800
- I would always embellish,
1411
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:51,450
to see how far I could push them.
1412
01:00:52,500 --> 01:00:54,577
I know it's fucked up, but...
1413
01:00:54,577 --> 01:00:57,163
Y'all probably think I'm
a terrible person, huh?
1414
01:00:58,300 --> 01:00:59,133
- No.
1415
01:00:59,133 --> 01:01:01,660
I think you were a kid
who needed attention.
1416
01:01:01,660 --> 01:01:02,743
- I appreciate that.
1417
01:01:04,294 --> 01:01:07,763
But look, y'all, being gay is one thing,
1418
01:01:09,100 --> 01:01:12,443
but being black and gay, in the south,
1419
01:01:13,456 --> 01:01:14,843
that shit's not okay.
1420
01:01:15,940 --> 01:01:17,306
Not yet.
1421
01:01:17,306 --> 01:01:20,160
It's just a recipe for scrutiny.
1422
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:23,260
And I know my mom loves me,
that's why she left my dad,
1423
01:01:23,260 --> 01:01:24,380
but I just...
1424
01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:26,410
- Okay, strictly speaking
from a third party
1425
01:01:26,410 --> 01:01:29,260
outside objective observer
journalistic perspective,
1426
01:01:29,260 --> 01:01:31,690
it sounds to me like
your mom wants to have
1427
01:01:31,690 --> 01:01:32,750
a relationship with her daughter
1428
01:01:32,750 --> 01:01:35,290
but she's too afraid to challenge
the patriarchal traditions
1429
01:01:35,290 --> 01:01:36,840
under which she was brought up.
1430
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:38,553
Under.
1431
01:01:39,530 --> 01:01:40,930
Up under?
1432
01:01:40,930 --> 01:01:42,450
- Yeah, that sounds about right.
1433
01:01:42,450 --> 01:01:43,283
- Is that it?
1434
01:01:43,283 --> 01:01:45,530
- Strictly speaking from a
journalistic perspective,
1435
01:01:45,530 --> 01:01:48,280
you ended that sentence
with like 19 prepositions.
1436
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,250
- Oh my God, I know!
1437
01:01:50,250 --> 01:01:52,313
Fuck, weed kills my grammar.
1438
01:01:54,470 --> 01:01:57,570
- Also, I have something.
1439
01:01:57,570 --> 01:01:58,990
Clean conscience incoming.
1440
01:01:58,990 --> 01:02:00,973
I have had a crush on Frankie for years.
1441
01:02:03,033 --> 01:02:04,270
- Me?
1442
01:02:04,270 --> 01:02:05,103
- Yes.
1443
01:02:05,103 --> 01:02:07,360
This makes so much sense to me.
1444
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,741
- I'm flattered, Stace.
1445
01:02:09,741 --> 01:02:12,590
I know I'm not the girliest of girls,
1446
01:02:12,590 --> 01:02:16,260
but I do still like the P in my V.
1447
01:02:16,260 --> 01:02:17,093
- I know.
1448
01:02:18,460 --> 01:02:20,040
I just admire you.
1449
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:22,520
You don't care what other people think.
1450
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:24,708
I care so much I hide,
1451
01:02:24,708 --> 01:02:27,629
and I lose myself in other people's lives.
1452
01:02:27,629 --> 01:02:30,923
Other people's drama means I
don't have to focus on mine.
1453
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,130
- [Loren] That's heavy, Stace.
1454
01:02:33,130 --> 01:02:35,180
And how did you come to that conclusion?
1455
01:02:35,180 --> 01:02:36,013
- Therapy.
1456
01:02:36,854 --> 01:02:38,013
- You know what?
1457
01:02:39,135 --> 01:02:40,340
Fuck it.
1458
01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:41,173
Come on.
1459
01:02:41,173 --> 01:02:42,006
- What?
1460
01:02:42,006 --> 01:02:44,570
- You think I want Tinder
Todd to be my last kiss?
1461
01:02:44,570 --> 01:02:45,403
Gross.
1462
01:02:45,403 --> 01:02:47,600
You know what, you never know.
1463
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:50,000
I've never tried it.
1464
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,590
- Are you serious?
1465
01:02:51,590 --> 01:02:52,423
- Educate me.
1466
01:02:55,404 --> 01:02:57,253
- Um, okay.
1467
01:03:00,657 --> 01:03:01,563
- Oh my God.
1468
01:03:02,526 --> 01:03:04,790
That was so cute.
1469
01:03:04,790 --> 01:03:09,180
- So, should we make out?
1470
01:03:09,180 --> 01:03:10,700
- No, hon.
1471
01:03:10,700 --> 01:03:13,263
No, you are just very high.
1472
01:03:14,370 --> 01:03:15,203
- Yeah.
1473
01:03:16,210 --> 01:03:17,520
Okay.
1474
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:20,037
- Aren't we like supposed
to go in a closet?
1475
01:03:20,037 --> 01:03:22,093
- I'm never going back in the closet.
1476
01:03:25,070 --> 01:03:28,550
- So have you ever slept with a man?
1477
01:03:28,550 --> 01:03:29,383
- Nope.
1478
01:03:31,170 --> 01:03:32,580
- Are you still a virgin?
1479
01:03:32,580 --> 01:03:34,513
- No, Frankie, I'm not a virgin.
1480
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:38,818
- Who did you lose your virginity to?
1481
01:03:38,818 --> 01:03:39,651
Tell me.
1482
01:03:39,651 --> 01:03:42,370
- Since when do you want
all the juicy details?
1483
01:03:42,370 --> 01:03:43,203
- You're rubbing off on me.
1484
01:03:43,203 --> 01:03:44,036
Kiss and tell.
1485
01:03:45,792 --> 01:03:48,040
- Oh, I'll never forget it.
1486
01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:49,645
I still have the box it came in.
1487
01:03:49,645 --> 01:03:51,069
(laughing)
1488
01:03:51,069 --> 01:03:53,230
- Oh my God, you just made Loren so proud.
1489
01:03:53,230 --> 01:03:54,590
You have to tell her.
1490
01:03:54,590 --> 01:03:56,880
With Bo in Bulgaria she is all about
1491
01:03:56,880 --> 01:03:58,440
taking care of yourself.
1492
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,053
- Oh, you meant with another person?
1493
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:03,573
Yeah, I've done that too.
1494
01:04:05,100 --> 01:04:07,863
Her name was Grace Starring.
1495
01:04:09,002 --> 01:04:10,173
I was 17.
1496
01:04:11,510 --> 01:04:12,437
- Where were you?
1497
01:04:13,663 --> 01:04:15,203
- Degayification camp.
1498
01:04:16,730 --> 01:04:18,620
I wish I was making that shit up.
1499
01:04:18,620 --> 01:04:19,453
- My God.
1500
01:04:19,453 --> 01:04:20,286
I love you so much.
1501
01:04:20,286 --> 01:04:21,119
That is fantastic.
1502
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,557
Alright, lay one on me.
1503
01:04:27,557 --> 01:04:28,870
- Geez, Frankie.
1504
01:04:28,870 --> 01:04:30,327
You're so romantic.
1505
01:04:30,327 --> 01:04:32,260
- You gonna kiss me or not?
1506
01:04:32,260 --> 01:04:33,810
- Okay.
1507
01:04:33,810 --> 01:04:38,760
So, I'm like really good at it.
1508
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:40,318
You should be warned.
1509
01:04:40,318 --> 01:04:44,323
I'm not trying to convert
you, but it's happened.
1510
01:04:44,323 --> 01:04:45,710
You should know this.
1511
01:04:46,549 --> 01:04:47,382
- Please.
1512
01:05:20,810 --> 01:05:22,060
- [Stacy] Well?
1513
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:27,453
- Frankie Giffin relationship
status, update, bi-curious.
1514
01:05:36,810 --> 01:05:39,906
- Y'all are gonna wanna
kiss Stacy before you die.
1515
01:05:39,906 --> 01:05:40,830
And we don't have much time left
1516
01:05:40,830 --> 01:05:42,450
so you're gonna wanna go
ahead and make a line.
1517
01:05:42,450 --> 01:05:44,273
- The line of two people.
1518
01:05:44,273 --> 01:05:46,523
(laughing)
1519
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:49,233
- Boom.
1520
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:53,560
Too soon?
1521
01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:54,393
- Little bit.
1522
01:05:57,217 --> 01:05:59,884
(melodic music)
1523
01:06:12,670 --> 01:06:13,800
- I have a question.
1524
01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:14,633
- Hmm?
1525
01:06:17,070 --> 01:06:17,903
- Would you rather--
1526
01:06:17,903 --> 01:06:18,890
- No.
- No.
1527
01:06:18,890 --> 01:06:21,330
- Just humor me, okay,
it's the end of the world.
1528
01:06:21,330 --> 01:06:26,330
Would you rather have a
very, very sensitive scrotum
1529
01:06:31,230 --> 01:06:33,783
hanging from your chin,
1530
01:06:35,130 --> 01:06:39,083
or, shit out of your ear?
1531
01:06:40,264 --> 01:06:42,240
- It only gets worse.
1532
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:44,473
Every fucking time.
1533
01:06:45,590 --> 01:06:48,193
- It's a rare talent.
1534
01:06:48,193 --> 01:06:49,810
- Somebody sees the genius.
1535
01:06:49,810 --> 01:06:50,643
- Oh yeah?
1536
01:06:50,643 --> 01:06:52,170
Okay what if you sharted out of your ear?
1537
01:06:52,170 --> 01:06:53,377
You know you'd go...
1538
01:06:53,377 --> 01:06:55,138
(imitates flatulence)
1539
01:06:55,138 --> 01:06:56,063
- I found the gun.
1540
01:06:57,290 --> 01:06:58,520
- What the fuck Jillian?
1541
01:06:58,520 --> 01:06:59,920
- All right, you know what, Jill,
1542
01:06:59,920 --> 01:07:01,794
why don't you just give that to me?
1543
01:07:01,794 --> 01:07:02,627
- Why?
1544
01:07:02,627 --> 01:07:04,496
I'm not gonna shoot anybody!
1545
01:07:04,496 --> 01:07:05,703
- [Loren] Jill, give Frankie the gun.
1546
01:07:05,703 --> 01:07:08,480
- Why do you guys treat me
like a fragile little lamb?
1547
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:09,990
I am not unstable!
1548
01:07:09,990 --> 01:07:11,042
- No one's saying that.
- Yes you are.
1549
01:07:11,042 --> 01:07:12,270
Just give it to me.
- There's a gun in your hand.
1550
01:07:12,270 --> 01:07:14,365
- So hey, give it to Frankie okay, please?
1551
01:07:14,365 --> 01:07:17,504
- You're about to see the beast unleashed.
1552
01:07:17,504 --> 01:07:18,337
Fuck.
1553
01:07:19,655 --> 01:07:22,357
(laughing)
1554
01:07:22,357 --> 01:07:23,613
Screw you guys.
1555
01:07:25,670 --> 01:07:26,820
- Unleash the beast!
1556
01:07:26,820 --> 01:07:27,796
- It's not funny!
1557
01:07:27,796 --> 01:07:28,629
(gunshot)
1558
01:07:28,629 --> 01:07:29,462
(screaming)
1559
01:07:29,462 --> 01:07:31,065
- [Frankie] Okay, all
right, all right, all right.
1560
01:07:31,065 --> 01:07:32,492
Hand me the gun.
1561
01:07:32,492 --> 01:07:33,525
Drop it.
1562
01:07:33,525 --> 01:07:34,358
Drop it.
1563
01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:38,450
- Jillian, what if there
was people down there?
1564
01:07:38,450 --> 01:07:39,400
- I didn't mean to.
1565
01:07:43,500 --> 01:07:44,601
- Hello?
1566
01:07:44,601 --> 01:07:46,980
- What if the windows are open down there?
1567
01:07:46,980 --> 01:07:49,003
Jillian you're letting poisonous air in!
1568
01:07:49,003 --> 01:07:49,836
- It was an accident!
1569
01:07:49,836 --> 01:07:51,260
- All right, we need to seal this, okay?
1570
01:07:51,260 --> 01:07:52,463
Somebody find something.
1571
01:07:53,794 --> 01:07:55,693
Other than your ass, Frankie.
1572
01:08:03,260 --> 01:08:04,734
- I have a dildo.
1573
01:08:04,734 --> 01:08:06,279
- I have washi tape.
1574
01:08:06,279 --> 01:08:07,403
- I have Lysol.
1575
01:08:12,720 --> 01:08:13,553
- Peen.
1576
01:08:13,553 --> 01:08:14,700
- [Loren] Peen.
1577
01:08:17,870 --> 01:08:18,840
- Tape.
1578
01:08:18,840 --> 01:08:19,690
- [Jillian] Tape.
1579
01:08:29,940 --> 01:08:30,773
- Praise.
1580
01:08:30,773 --> 01:08:31,606
- Praise.
1581
01:08:31,606 --> 01:08:32,439
- Praise.
1582
01:08:40,750 --> 01:08:41,913
Don't trip on it.
1583
01:08:43,460 --> 01:08:45,170
- Don't shoot anything else.
1584
01:08:45,170 --> 01:08:46,130
- [Jillian] I won't.
1585
01:08:46,130 --> 01:08:47,243
I'm sorry.
1586
01:08:48,290 --> 01:08:50,290
- [Stacy] We should light it for safety.
1587
01:08:59,550 --> 01:09:00,997
- Lo, I'm sorry.
1588
01:09:00,997 --> 01:09:01,830
- No, don't.
1589
01:09:03,260 --> 01:09:04,093
It's fine.
1590
01:09:07,499 --> 01:09:09,050
Were there more bath bombs?
1591
01:09:09,050 --> 01:09:12,068
- Oh, yeah, there was three or four more.
1592
01:09:12,068 --> 01:09:13,890
- Was the water still warm?
1593
01:09:13,890 --> 01:09:14,723
- It was hot.
1594
01:09:14,723 --> 01:09:15,800
It's probably still warm.
1595
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:18,900
- Okay so I am gonna go
put another bath bomb
1596
01:09:18,900 --> 01:09:21,383
in what is now strictly our flushing water
1597
01:09:21,383 --> 01:09:23,220
and I'm gonna soak in it.
1598
01:09:23,220 --> 01:09:25,732
And don't make a thing out of it.
1599
01:09:25,732 --> 01:09:26,660
- Gross.
1600
01:09:26,660 --> 01:09:27,630
- No, it's not gross.
1601
01:09:27,630 --> 01:09:29,670
Shitting out of your ear is gross.
1602
01:09:29,670 --> 01:09:30,880
Plus, Jill doesn't have cooties
1603
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:32,700
and if you cut out the
would-you-rather questions
1604
01:09:32,700 --> 01:09:35,330
I might let you go after me.
1605
01:09:35,330 --> 01:09:36,793
- Yeah hard pass.
1606
01:09:49,609 --> 01:09:52,861
- Four Women in The End by Loren Atwood.
1607
01:09:52,861 --> 01:09:54,445
It's a Thursday night.
1608
01:09:54,445 --> 01:09:57,560
Every other Thursday
night is girls' night in.
1609
01:09:57,560 --> 01:10:00,970
My circle of friends, we meet
up at our dear friend's condo.
1610
01:10:00,970 --> 01:10:02,590
It's a safe space.
1611
01:10:02,590 --> 01:10:03,600
We gossip.
1612
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:05,210
We confide.
1613
01:10:05,210 --> 01:10:07,513
We cherish these Thursdays in Nashville.
1614
01:10:08,540 --> 01:10:10,500
Tonight, Music City was one of five
1615
01:10:10,500 --> 01:10:11,803
American cities attacked.
1616
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:13,930
We don't know why.
1617
01:10:13,930 --> 01:10:15,470
We don't know who.
1618
01:10:15,470 --> 01:10:16,303
Not yet.
1619
01:10:17,190 --> 01:10:18,090
We may never know.
1620
01:10:19,580 --> 01:10:20,583
There's sickness.
1621
01:10:21,460 --> 01:10:23,070
There's fear.
1622
01:10:23,070 --> 01:10:25,448
We're on the 14th floor of a high rise,
1623
01:10:25,448 --> 01:10:27,160
and it's almost Christmas.
1624
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:28,580
The building is half empty,
1625
01:10:28,580 --> 01:10:31,080
and some panicked and ran outside.
1626
01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:33,140
The walls rattled as they stampeded
1627
01:10:33,140 --> 01:10:35,233
like a wild herd down the stairs.
1628
01:10:36,090 --> 01:10:38,103
But others, like us, stayed put.
1629
01:10:39,020 --> 01:10:41,420
Because outside the air
is too toxic to breathe.
1630
01:10:42,650 --> 01:10:44,583
We are terrified.
1631
01:10:45,470 --> 01:10:48,460
But we are not alone.
1632
01:10:48,460 --> 01:10:50,640
There's our domestic darling.
1633
01:10:50,640 --> 01:10:51,920
She used to be a child star
1634
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:54,910
and she always brings us
homemade snicker doodles.
1635
01:10:54,910 --> 01:10:57,670
And she wants a baby,
though she never had one.
1636
01:10:57,670 --> 01:10:59,490
But she's in a place
where she can share this
1637
01:10:59,490 --> 01:11:00,830
and nobody judges her.
1638
01:11:00,830 --> 01:11:04,430
Instead, we rave about her baking skills,
1639
01:11:04,430 --> 01:11:07,040
and we tell her we love
her, because we do.
1640
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:08,554
There's our guy's girl.
1641
01:11:08,554 --> 01:11:10,870
We are her only girl friends.
1642
01:11:10,870 --> 01:11:12,343
We trust her.
1643
01:11:12,343 --> 01:11:15,540
She makes us laugh with her weird humor.
1644
01:11:15,540 --> 01:11:17,700
Occasionally she'll show her soft side
1645
01:11:17,700 --> 01:11:20,260
because she knows she can around us.
1646
01:11:20,260 --> 01:11:22,160
And she's unapologetically herself.
1647
01:11:22,160 --> 01:11:24,890
And for that we applaud her.
1648
01:11:24,890 --> 01:11:27,120
And we tell her we love her,
1649
01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:27,953
because we do.
1650
01:11:28,910 --> 01:11:31,696
Like every group, we've got a drama queen.
1651
01:11:31,696 --> 01:11:34,500
Our drama queen loves to gossip.
1652
01:11:34,500 --> 01:11:37,110
And since we've come to
terms with our own mortality,
1653
01:11:37,110 --> 01:11:39,714
we've learned a lot
about each other tonight.
1654
01:11:39,714 --> 01:11:41,660
We listen to her stories.
1655
01:11:41,660 --> 01:11:43,130
We share her heartbreak.
1656
01:11:43,130 --> 01:11:44,220
We indulge her.
1657
01:11:44,220 --> 01:11:45,618
We accept her.
1658
01:11:45,618 --> 01:11:48,276
We even tolerate the Kardashians.
1659
01:11:48,276 --> 01:11:50,683
And we tell her we love her,
1660
01:11:50,683 --> 01:11:51,873
because we do.
1661
01:11:52,977 --> 01:11:55,580
Our career girl owns more property than
1662
01:11:55,580 --> 01:11:56,896
all of us combined.
1663
01:11:56,896 --> 01:11:59,717
She's the definition of a boss bitch.
1664
01:11:59,717 --> 01:12:03,030
This isn't the first time
I've written about her.
1665
01:12:03,030 --> 01:12:05,300
She makes time for us every other Thursday
1666
01:12:05,300 --> 01:12:07,100
as we invade her condo.
1667
01:12:07,100 --> 01:12:08,530
She orders a feast.
1668
01:12:08,530 --> 01:12:09,950
She turns off her phone.
1669
01:12:09,950 --> 01:12:10,890
She vents.
1670
01:12:10,890 --> 01:12:12,288
She brags.
1671
01:12:12,288 --> 01:12:15,483
She encourages us all to
be the best that we can be.
1672
01:12:16,360 --> 01:12:19,173
Tonight she left us and she
went to be with her lover.
1673
01:12:21,030 --> 01:12:22,460
We may never see her again.
1674
01:12:22,460 --> 01:12:26,140
But she left us food and
water, an emergency radio,
1675
01:12:26,140 --> 01:12:30,123
four Le Labo candles, and a
ridiculously comfortable bed.
1676
01:12:32,030 --> 01:12:33,759
We're not mad.
1677
01:12:33,759 --> 01:12:35,163
We want her to be happy.
1678
01:12:36,230 --> 01:12:38,140
And we tell her we love her,
1679
01:12:38,140 --> 01:12:39,400
because we do.
1680
01:12:39,400 --> 01:12:41,000
Then there's me.
1681
01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:43,850
I write articles like this
to show that as women,
1682
01:12:43,850 --> 01:12:47,200
we can't fix the world, and
we can't fix each other,
1683
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:49,843
but we can make a difference.
1684
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:54,492
There's a power that's really
hard to describe at play here.
1685
01:12:54,492 --> 01:12:58,280
It happens when women refuse
to compete with each other,
1686
01:12:58,280 --> 01:13:00,730
and instead we lift each other up.
1687
01:13:00,730 --> 01:13:01,790
We listen.
1688
01:13:01,790 --> 01:13:02,990
We commiserate.
1689
01:13:02,990 --> 01:13:04,080
We collaborate.
1690
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:05,070
We empathize.
1691
01:13:05,070 --> 01:13:06,140
We sympathize.
1692
01:13:06,140 --> 01:13:09,473
And dammit, we survive.
1693
01:13:13,230 --> 01:13:15,660
A while back talks of an all female reboot
1694
01:13:15,660 --> 01:13:18,180
of Lord of the Flies was
circulating Hollywood.
1695
01:13:18,180 --> 01:13:20,618
Twitter blew up with
responses and confusion.
1696
01:13:20,618 --> 01:13:23,230
How the hell was that supposed to work?
1697
01:13:23,230 --> 01:13:24,840
Some said that it would just be women
1698
01:13:24,840 --> 01:13:26,860
sitting around apologizing to each other
1699
01:13:26,860 --> 01:13:27,960
'til they're dead.
1700
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:29,923
After tonight, I can see why.
1701
01:13:31,870 --> 01:13:36,870
See, this is the all female
version of Lord of the Flies,
1702
01:13:37,040 --> 01:13:39,840
except, our desert island is a condo
1703
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:41,770
in a Nashville high rise.
1704
01:13:41,770 --> 01:13:45,083
And still, we are not taking sides.
1705
01:13:45,083 --> 01:13:47,970
Instead we are doing
what my favorite tweet
1706
01:13:47,970 --> 01:13:50,010
said about the reboot,
and it may not be exact,
1707
01:13:50,010 --> 01:13:51,730
but I don't have the
power to check my sources.
1708
01:13:51,730 --> 01:13:54,936
But it's damn close.
1709
01:13:54,936 --> 01:13:58,328
And I quote, "An all
female Lord of The Flies
1710
01:13:58,328 --> 01:13:59,763
"could never work.
1711
01:13:59,763 --> 01:14:01,857
"There would be no conflict,
1712
01:14:01,857 --> 01:14:03,427
"and it would essentially
become the island
1713
01:14:03,427 --> 01:14:04,977
"that Wonder Woman grew up on."
1714
01:14:05,820 --> 01:14:07,460
Hell yeah, it would.
1715
01:14:07,460 --> 01:14:11,470
So, when the dust finally settles
1716
01:14:11,470 --> 01:14:13,840
and the air clears,
1717
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:15,373
maybe this is paradise island.
1718
01:14:16,900 --> 01:14:19,000
Who knows what will rise from these ruins?
1719
01:14:19,890 --> 01:14:21,947
One thing that I do know,
1720
01:14:21,947 --> 01:14:23,997
is there's four of us left on the island.
1721
01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:26,770
There's no Jack here.
1722
01:14:26,770 --> 01:14:29,810
No Ralph or Simon or Piggy.
1723
01:14:29,810 --> 01:14:34,810
But there's certainly more
than one Wonder Woman.
1724
01:14:36,024 --> 01:14:38,274
(clapping)
1725
01:14:43,065 --> 01:14:45,070
- What do you think?
1726
01:14:45,070 --> 01:14:46,680
- You made her eyes cry.
1727
01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:48,330
- Oh Frankie, don't cry.
1728
01:14:48,330 --> 01:14:49,940
Oh my God.
1729
01:14:49,940 --> 01:14:52,120
- I can't believe that no one
is gonna see that in print.
1730
01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:55,060
Oh my God, you have to
get it to Boss Bitch.
1731
01:14:55,060 --> 01:14:56,570
- You have to get it to the radio station.
1732
01:14:56,570 --> 01:14:57,743
- You have to.
1733
01:14:59,540 --> 01:15:00,686
- I love you guys.
1734
01:15:00,686 --> 01:15:01,519
- I love you, too.
1735
01:15:01,519 --> 01:15:03,170
- Love you, too.
1736
01:15:03,170 --> 01:15:04,320
- I love you guys, too.
1737
01:15:10,810 --> 01:15:12,140
- Hey you guys wanna
try and get some sleep?
1738
01:15:12,140 --> 01:15:13,590
It's getting kinda cold, huh?
1739
01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:15,593
- Yeah.
1740
01:15:26,144 --> 01:15:28,727
(gentle music)
1741
01:15:38,980 --> 01:15:40,610
- Would anyone like to explain why there's
1742
01:15:40,610 --> 01:15:42,998
a very large penis taped
to my kitchen floor?
1743
01:15:42,998 --> 01:15:45,331
(screaming)
1744
01:15:48,265 --> 01:15:49,879
- [Frankie] What are you doing here?
1745
01:15:49,879 --> 01:15:51,440
- You have to admit that was pretty good.
1746
01:15:51,440 --> 01:15:52,273
- It wasn't funny.
1747
01:15:52,273 --> 01:15:53,424
- Mel!
1748
01:15:53,424 --> 01:15:55,090
- What are you doing here?
1749
01:15:55,090 --> 01:15:56,800
- Well number one, I live here,
1750
01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:58,100
and two, you didn't think I was gonna
1751
01:15:58,100 --> 01:15:59,680
leave you girls behind did you?
1752
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,120
- Well...
1753
01:16:01,120 --> 01:16:02,120
- No!
1754
01:16:02,120 --> 01:16:04,990
No I have a lesbian
level love for you girls,
1755
01:16:04,990 --> 01:16:06,170
you know this.
1756
01:16:06,170 --> 01:16:08,538
- So does Stacy!
1757
01:16:08,538 --> 01:16:10,263
- And maybe Frankie.
1758
01:16:10,263 --> 01:16:11,630
- Meh.
1759
01:16:11,630 --> 01:16:12,463
- Meh?
1760
01:16:12,463 --> 01:16:13,930
What do you mean meh?
1761
01:16:13,930 --> 01:16:15,721
Scoot over, get out of my bed.
1762
01:16:15,721 --> 01:16:18,017
Get out of my bed, get out of my bed.
1763
01:16:18,017 --> 01:16:19,235
- Don't let her in!
1764
01:16:19,235 --> 01:16:20,070
- Really cozy.
1765
01:16:20,070 --> 01:16:21,639
- So how was the D?
1766
01:16:21,639 --> 01:16:23,020
- Yes, details, please.
1767
01:16:23,020 --> 01:16:24,647
- Oh lady never tells.
1768
01:16:24,647 --> 01:16:25,480
- Oh come.
1769
01:16:25,480 --> 01:16:26,487
- Nothing happened.
1770
01:16:26,487 --> 01:16:27,818
- Nothing happened?
1771
01:16:27,818 --> 01:16:29,900
- We cuddled and ate an MRE.
1772
01:16:29,900 --> 01:16:31,050
- You cuddled?
1773
01:16:31,050 --> 01:16:32,579
You can't get that glow from a cuddle.
1774
01:16:32,579 --> 01:16:34,041
(laughing)
1775
01:16:34,041 --> 01:16:35,360
- Standard cuddle glove.
1776
01:16:35,360 --> 01:16:36,923
- Standard cuddle glove.
1777
01:16:38,300 --> 01:16:39,133
- SCG.
1778
01:16:44,670 --> 01:16:47,640
- Okay, we have this, plus and
a few more gallons of water.
1779
01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:48,803
It's all Greg's shit.
1780
01:16:48,803 --> 01:16:50,623
He said we should just take it.
1781
01:16:51,680 --> 01:16:54,001
Chicken pesto pasta.
1782
01:16:54,001 --> 01:16:55,580
- Where is he?
1783
01:16:55,580 --> 01:16:56,450
- I have no idea.
1784
01:16:56,450 --> 01:16:57,900
He wouldn't tell me where he was going
1785
01:16:57,900 --> 01:17:00,620
and I couldn't go with him.
1786
01:17:00,620 --> 01:17:02,670
I didn't want to hide in a bunker, gross.
1787
01:17:04,530 --> 01:17:05,660
- You have service?
1788
01:17:05,660 --> 01:17:06,925
- No, I was just checking.
1789
01:17:06,925 --> 01:17:08,120
I don't think so.
1790
01:17:08,120 --> 01:17:09,410
- You still have battery?
1791
01:17:09,410 --> 01:17:14,410
- Oh yeah, these shark tank
lanterns have USB cords.
1792
01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:15,833
- [All] What?
1793
01:17:18,090 --> 01:17:19,410
- Hey did you guys get the radio to work?
1794
01:17:19,410 --> 01:17:21,540
Have you been listening
to what's going on?
1795
01:17:21,540 --> 01:17:22,551
- Some.
1796
01:17:22,551 --> 01:17:23,680
That shit's depressing.
1797
01:17:23,680 --> 01:17:27,180
- Hey, if we ration, we
have enough for a week.
1798
01:17:27,180 --> 01:17:29,060
They're saying a rain
storm's coming tomorrow,
1799
01:17:29,060 --> 01:17:31,630
which is gonna help clear the air.
1800
01:17:31,630 --> 01:17:32,940
And then in a few more days they're gonna
1801
01:17:32,940 --> 01:17:34,150
start rescue missions.
1802
01:17:34,150 --> 01:17:34,983
- Wait, really?
1803
01:17:35,984 --> 01:17:36,817
- Really.
1804
01:17:38,623 --> 01:17:40,183
- How many people died?
1805
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:44,720
- A lot, Jilly.
1806
01:17:44,720 --> 01:17:45,703
A lot of people.
1807
01:17:48,040 --> 01:17:50,388
But, all we can do is wait.
1808
01:17:50,388 --> 01:17:53,363
It's not gonna be easy,
but we just have to wait.
1809
01:17:54,630 --> 01:17:56,380
- Was there a dead guy in the hall?
1810
01:17:58,570 --> 01:18:00,915
- Just don't think of all that, okay?
1811
01:18:00,915 --> 01:18:02,390
Don't think about that stuff.
1812
01:18:02,390 --> 01:18:03,494
It's okay.
1813
01:18:03,494 --> 01:18:04,500
It's okay.
1814
01:18:04,500 --> 01:18:06,038
- I think you were exposed.
1815
01:18:06,038 --> 01:18:07,510
- I think we've pretty much all been
1816
01:18:07,510 --> 01:18:09,010
exposed through the air vents.
1817
01:18:09,903 --> 01:18:13,370
- Fuck, why didn't I
think to cover the vents?
1818
01:18:13,370 --> 01:18:16,830
- I think you've sprayed
enough Lysol to save us all.
1819
01:18:16,830 --> 01:18:17,833
- Damn right I did.
1820
01:18:20,319 --> 01:18:21,230
Here's the thing guys,
1821
01:18:21,230 --> 01:18:24,420
we've done absolutely everything we can.
1822
01:18:24,420 --> 01:18:26,360
I mean Greg and I stayed up all night
1823
01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:29,880
cleaning the entire hallway
in full rubber suit,
1824
01:18:29,880 --> 01:18:32,350
and I learned a life lesson
that you're only ever
1825
01:18:32,350 --> 01:18:34,010
one rubber suit adventure away
1826
01:18:34,010 --> 01:18:35,440
from fitting in your skinny jeans.
1827
01:18:35,440 --> 01:18:37,430
So, do I look thinner?
1828
01:18:37,430 --> 01:18:38,399
- Yeah girl.
- Yeah.
1829
01:18:38,399 --> 01:18:39,393
- Yeah.
- Really good.
1830
01:18:39,393 --> 01:18:41,240
- I feel amazing.
1831
01:18:41,240 --> 01:18:43,070
Here's the deal guys, okay.
1832
01:18:43,070 --> 01:18:45,940
There's 25 units in the building
that still have tenants.
1833
01:18:45,940 --> 01:18:48,930
We went, we cleared out
Greg's entire storage unit,
1834
01:18:48,930 --> 01:18:50,660
we distributed all of his supplies
1835
01:18:50,660 --> 01:18:52,390
evenly among the tenants.
1836
01:18:52,390 --> 01:18:54,050
He took enough for himself and then
1837
01:18:54,050 --> 01:18:55,090
we brought the rest here.
1838
01:18:55,090 --> 01:18:57,680
So it's just all we can do.
1839
01:18:57,680 --> 01:18:59,030
- You never left the building?
1840
01:18:59,030 --> 01:19:00,410
- No.
1841
01:19:00,410 --> 01:19:02,520
- Wait, so you were up
all night distributing
1842
01:19:02,520 --> 01:19:04,230
supplies to your tenants?
1843
01:19:04,230 --> 01:19:05,063
- Yeah.
1844
01:19:08,222 --> 01:19:10,810
- I am so proud to know you right now.
1845
01:19:10,810 --> 01:19:13,040
- I mean the captain
can't jump ship, right?
1846
01:19:13,040 --> 01:19:15,070
Hey, I was just doing my job.
1847
01:19:15,070 --> 01:19:16,470
Plus, I love you guys.
1848
01:19:16,470 --> 01:19:18,930
There was no way in hell I
was gonna leave you behind.
1849
01:19:18,930 --> 01:19:22,490
- Correction, this is the all
female Dead Poets Society.
1850
01:19:22,490 --> 01:19:24,363
Oh captain, my captain.
1851
01:19:28,420 --> 01:19:30,160
- Oh captain, my captain.
1852
01:19:30,160 --> 01:19:30,993
- Yes!
1853
01:19:32,136 --> 01:19:33,920
- I know what you guys are thinking,
1854
01:19:33,920 --> 01:19:36,530
and I am not gonna stand on a chair.
1855
01:19:36,530 --> 01:19:38,900
This is more of that
shit white people love.
1856
01:19:38,900 --> 01:19:39,950
- We do love it.
1857
01:19:39,950 --> 01:19:41,361
We love that shit.
1858
01:19:41,361 --> 01:19:42,673
- How can we help, Mel?
1859
01:19:43,550 --> 01:19:45,580
- I think it's all done.
1860
01:19:45,580 --> 01:19:48,580
Oh, you guys can help me hang sheets.
1861
01:19:48,580 --> 01:19:49,793
- What do you mean?
1862
01:19:49,793 --> 01:19:50,626
- Come on.
1863
01:19:52,668 --> 01:19:55,251
(gentle music)
1864
01:19:59,672 --> 01:20:02,958
- [PJ] We're going now to
Mayor Stills of Nashville.
1865
01:20:02,958 --> 01:20:04,367
- [Mayor] Good morning, everyone.
1866
01:20:04,367 --> 01:20:07,100
Nashville remains under Martial Law.
1867
01:20:07,100 --> 01:20:09,790
We ask that no one
within eyesight of impact
1868
01:20:09,790 --> 01:20:11,940
step outside until further notice.
1869
01:20:11,940 --> 01:20:13,860
If you are alive and safe please display
1870
01:20:13,860 --> 01:20:15,815
white material in your windows.
1871
01:20:15,815 --> 01:20:18,760
If you can write a number
of people, please do so.
1872
01:20:18,760 --> 01:20:21,280
If there is injury or
need of medical attention
1873
01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:22,805
please mark with an X.
1874
01:20:22,805 --> 01:20:25,330
If you are in need of water
please mark with an H.
1875
01:20:27,100 --> 01:20:30,154
A winter storm is due to
hit Nashville tonight.
1876
01:20:30,154 --> 01:20:32,090
When the storm clears, we will continue to
1877
01:20:32,090 --> 01:20:35,150
survey the damage and attempt
to begin rescue missions.
1878
01:20:35,150 --> 01:20:36,030
Stay strong.
1879
01:20:36,030 --> 01:20:37,010
Stay safe.
1880
01:20:37,010 --> 01:20:37,970
Hunker down.
1881
01:20:37,970 --> 01:20:39,290
Tape your windows.
1882
01:20:39,290 --> 01:20:40,974
Let us know you're alive.
1883
01:20:40,974 --> 01:20:43,260
Government teams are
working around the clock
1884
01:20:43,260 --> 01:20:45,819
to restore power and communication.
1885
01:20:45,819 --> 01:20:48,270
I'm not taking any questions at this time.
1886
01:20:51,416 --> 01:20:52,483
- Guys.
1887
01:20:54,270 --> 01:20:58,365
All of this cake we're eating
is destroying my blood sugar.
1888
01:20:58,365 --> 01:20:59,420
- Oh.
1889
01:20:59,420 --> 01:21:01,048
- That's insane.
1890
01:21:01,048 --> 01:21:02,450
- Ooh.
1891
01:21:02,450 --> 01:21:03,820
Speaking of cake.
1892
01:21:03,820 --> 01:21:04,690
Melissa.
1893
01:21:04,690 --> 01:21:05,880
I've got one for you.
1894
01:21:05,880 --> 01:21:06,780
- Okay, shoot.
1895
01:21:06,780 --> 01:21:08,910
I can't wait for this.
1896
01:21:08,910 --> 01:21:13,673
- Would you rather sit
on a dick and eat cake,
1897
01:21:15,310 --> 01:21:19,853
or sit on a cake and eat a dick?
1898
01:21:21,120 --> 01:21:23,973
- That's entirely dependent on whose dick?
1899
01:21:26,555 --> 01:21:28,470
- Jamie from Outlander's dick.
1900
01:21:28,470 --> 01:21:29,303
- Ooh.
1901
01:21:29,303 --> 01:21:30,690
- That's a good one.
1902
01:21:30,690 --> 01:21:31,550
Is he in a kilt?
1903
01:21:31,550 --> 01:21:32,383
- Duh.
1904
01:21:32,383 --> 01:21:35,300
- Wait, where is the uncircumcised
1905
01:21:35,300 --> 01:21:37,090
Outlander penis going when you sit on it?
1906
01:21:37,090 --> 01:21:38,373
- Ah, very important.
1907
01:21:39,500 --> 01:21:40,847
Up the butt.
1908
01:21:40,847 --> 01:21:41,820
- Oh, no.
1909
01:21:41,820 --> 01:21:42,870
- Of course it is up the butt.
1910
01:21:42,870 --> 01:21:43,703
- Fuck that.
1911
01:21:43,703 --> 01:21:45,210
I would sit on a cake and eat a dick.
1912
01:21:47,200 --> 01:21:48,470
- Jillian, everyone.
1913
01:21:48,470 --> 01:21:49,688
- Oh yeah.
1914
01:21:49,688 --> 01:21:52,083
Jillian is a new woman, now, Mel.
1915
01:21:53,410 --> 01:21:54,280
- [Loren] Oh my God.
1916
01:21:54,280 --> 01:21:55,869
- Sweet little Jilly.
1917
01:21:55,869 --> 01:21:56,702
- What?
1918
01:21:56,702 --> 01:21:59,010
- Sweet Jilly not so sweet anymore.
1919
01:21:59,010 --> 01:22:00,316
- You got her.
1920
01:22:00,316 --> 01:22:02,403
Somebody get the woman some cake.
1921
01:22:05,274 --> 01:22:07,857
(gentle music)
1922
01:22:19,979 --> 01:22:22,793
Okay girls, here we go.
1923
01:22:24,464 --> 01:22:26,060
I'm gonna go sleep in my room.
1924
01:22:26,060 --> 01:22:28,350
I'll take one of you
or two if you're lucky.
1925
01:22:28,350 --> 01:22:29,870
You can rock paper scissors that shit
1926
01:22:29,870 --> 01:22:33,110
or alternate nights or
whatever, I don't care.
1927
01:22:33,110 --> 01:22:34,290
But I get one hour alone.
1928
01:22:34,290 --> 01:22:36,418
And I like to be the little spoon.
1929
01:22:36,418 --> 01:22:37,585
- That's fair.
1930
01:22:38,815 --> 01:22:39,648
Praise.
1931
01:22:43,548 --> 01:22:46,573
- All right everybody, as
information becomes available
1932
01:22:46,573 --> 01:22:48,690
we will continue to share.
1933
01:22:48,690 --> 01:22:50,310
But me and Maggs here...
1934
01:22:56,221 --> 01:22:58,490
(sighs)
1935
01:22:58,490 --> 01:22:59,393
I'm sorry, y'all.
1936
01:23:01,883 --> 01:23:06,760
Here at WBNA FM we are
not here to scare you.
1937
01:23:06,760 --> 01:23:10,053
We're sending out all of
our thoughts and prayers.
1938
01:23:12,984 --> 01:23:14,513
We're with you, Nashville.
1939
01:23:20,230 --> 01:23:21,063
Tonight,
1940
01:23:24,063 --> 01:23:27,140
well tonight I just might
play some more music again.
1941
01:23:29,285 --> 01:23:30,223
In fact,
1942
01:23:34,653 --> 01:23:36,913
this old man stopped by yesterday.
1943
01:23:38,211 --> 01:23:40,200
- Campbell Station.
1944
01:23:40,200 --> 01:23:41,480
- It's just one of those songs
1945
01:23:41,480 --> 01:23:42,920
I think we could all use right now.
1946
01:23:42,920 --> 01:23:44,660
What do you think Maggs?
1947
01:23:44,660 --> 01:23:46,460
- I couldn't agree with you more PJ.
1948
01:23:47,900 --> 01:23:48,733
Let's hear it.
1949
01:23:52,287 --> 01:23:57,287
♪ Hope is a promise for better days ♪
1950
01:23:58,787 --> 01:24:03,787
♪ I hope it's not too
late to make a change ♪
1951
01:24:06,012 --> 01:24:11,012
♪ Something's gotta grow
out of quite a mess ♪
1952
01:24:11,650 --> 01:24:16,650
♪ So I pray for rain ♪
1953
01:24:19,675 --> 01:24:22,826
♪ You know I don't mind ♪
1954
01:24:22,826 --> 01:24:26,378
♪ Leaving this old world behind ♪
1955
01:24:26,378 --> 01:24:31,378
♪ Start over this time
and wash it all away ♪
1956
01:24:33,518 --> 01:24:36,740
♪ You know I don't mind ♪
1957
01:24:36,740 --> 01:24:40,182
♪ Leaving this old world behind ♪
1958
01:24:40,182 --> 01:24:45,182
♪ Start over this time
and wash it all away ♪
1959
01:24:46,493 --> 01:24:49,361
- You guys remember when it
was okay to say retarded?
1960
01:24:49,361 --> 01:24:51,611
(laughing)
1961
01:24:53,720 --> 01:24:55,863
- You gonna go lock yourself
in the bathroom and write?
1962
01:24:55,863 --> 01:24:56,790
- Hell, no.
1963
01:24:56,790 --> 01:24:57,690
It's way too cold in there.
1964
01:24:57,690 --> 01:24:59,700
- It's too cold in here.
1965
01:24:59,700 --> 01:25:01,166
Hurry back!
1966
01:25:01,166 --> 01:25:02,587
- [Loren] You hurry back.
1967
01:25:02,587 --> 01:25:07,587
♪ Is this some kind of
divine intervention ♪
1968
01:25:08,294 --> 01:25:10,221
♪ If you're up there God ♪
1969
01:25:10,221 --> 01:25:14,884
♪ Well you got my attention ♪
1970
01:25:14,884 --> 01:25:18,041
♪ I hope it aint more of the same ♪
1971
01:25:18,041 --> 01:25:21,912
♪ And don't take it the wrong way ♪
1972
01:25:21,912 --> 01:25:26,912
♪ But do you hear me
when I pray for rain ♪
1973
01:25:29,145 --> 01:25:32,132
♪ You know I don't mind ♪
1974
01:25:32,132 --> 01:25:35,779
♪ Leaving this old world behind ♪
1975
01:25:35,779 --> 01:25:40,779
♪ Start over this time
and wash it all away ♪
1976
01:25:42,968 --> 01:25:45,818
♪ You know I don't mind ♪
1977
01:25:45,818 --> 01:25:49,536
♪ Leaving this old world behind ♪
1978
01:25:49,536 --> 01:25:54,536
♪ Start over this time
and wash it all away ♪
1979
01:25:56,327 --> 01:25:59,691
♪ You know I don't mind ♪
1980
01:25:59,691 --> 01:26:03,126
♪ Leaving this old world behind ♪
1981
01:26:03,126 --> 01:26:08,126
♪ Start over this time
and wash it all away ♪
1982
01:26:16,798 --> 01:26:19,381
(upbeat music)
1983
01:26:25,107 --> 01:26:27,015
♪ I've been told when I fight ♪
1984
01:26:27,015 --> 01:26:29,101
♪ I'm not very ladylike ♪
1985
01:26:29,101 --> 01:26:31,339
♪ I recall all the times ♪
1986
01:26:31,339 --> 01:26:33,540
♪ I had no other choice ♪
1987
01:26:33,540 --> 01:26:37,570
♪ I use my words but
you don't hear a thing ♪
1988
01:26:37,570 --> 01:26:41,967
♪ Underneath your ocean I can't breathe ♪
1989
01:26:41,967 --> 01:26:46,100
♪ I will turn the tens into nines ♪
1990
01:26:46,100 --> 01:26:47,660
♪ Oh ♪
1991
01:26:47,660 --> 01:26:49,736
♪ And show you my ladylike ♪
1992
01:26:49,736 --> 01:26:52,319
♪ Uh uh uh oh ♪
1993
01:26:54,633 --> 01:26:59,137
- Yeah, I get what you're
saying, I just don't care.
1994
01:26:59,137 --> 01:27:00,220
(laughing)
1995
01:27:00,220 --> 01:27:01,243
- I'm sorry, what?
1996
01:27:02,200 --> 01:27:04,904
Stacey Dash wanted to eliminate slavery?
1997
01:27:04,904 --> 01:27:06,096
- [Loren] Nope.
1998
01:27:06,096 --> 01:27:08,346
(laughing)
1999
01:27:12,369 --> 01:27:14,327
- And I'm like dead ass serious.
2000
01:27:14,327 --> 01:27:16,403
- [Female] Yeah that wedgie right there.
2001
01:27:17,830 --> 01:27:20,910
Let's pick that wedgie out.
2002
01:27:20,910 --> 01:27:23,990
- Hey, I hate to break
up this taco fest but...
2003
01:27:23,990 --> 01:27:25,373
Hate to break up this clam jam here.
2004
01:27:25,373 --> 01:27:28,830
Hate to break up this
episode of The View but...
2005
01:27:28,830 --> 01:27:30,520
I hate to break up the
titty committee here.
2006
01:27:30,520 --> 01:27:34,199
I hate to break up this
flap gathering but...
2007
01:27:34,199 --> 01:27:37,199
(laughing)
2008
01:27:37,199 --> 01:27:39,900
- What are you doing, that's
our bathwater in there.
2009
01:27:39,900 --> 01:27:41,118
- [Loren] Nope.
2010
01:27:41,118 --> 01:27:42,377
- What did I say?
2011
01:27:42,377 --> 01:27:43,984
- [Female] That's our bathwater.
2012
01:27:43,984 --> 01:27:45,317
(laughing)
2013
01:27:45,317 --> 01:27:47,301
That's our bathwater in there.
2014
01:27:47,301 --> 01:27:48,495
- Peen.
2015
01:27:48,495 --> 01:27:49,745
- [Loren] Peen.
2016
01:27:50,959 --> 01:27:53,342
(laughing)
2017
01:27:53,342 --> 01:27:55,633
- For some that run just got me.
2018
01:27:55,633 --> 01:27:59,725
- There's 25 units you
guys with tenants...
2019
01:27:59,725 --> 01:28:01,858
(laughing)
2020
01:28:01,858 --> 01:28:04,277
- And that's okay and it
doesn't mean I want...
2021
01:28:07,400 --> 01:28:09,460
- Strictly speaking from an outsider...
2022
01:28:09,460 --> 01:28:11,670
Strictly speaking from
an outside perspect...
2023
01:28:11,670 --> 01:28:13,030
Strictly speaking from an...
2024
01:28:13,030 --> 01:28:15,020
It sounds to me like your mom is...
2025
01:28:16,015 --> 01:28:18,910
(laughing)
2026
01:28:18,910 --> 01:28:20,720
- Hate to break down the beaver dam here.
2027
01:28:20,720 --> 01:28:22,325
Storm the beaver lodge.
2028
01:28:22,325 --> 01:28:24,805
Storm the fucking...
2029
01:28:24,805 --> 01:28:27,099
I wanna like come in
and everyone's going...
2030
01:28:27,099 --> 01:28:28,897
(laughing)
2031
01:28:28,897 --> 01:28:30,243
- It was from like another planet.
2032
01:28:30,243 --> 01:28:32,047
- Have you ever looked at your own vagina?
2033
01:28:32,047 --> 01:28:32,880
- I have.
2034
01:28:32,880 --> 01:28:33,713
Have you?
2035
01:28:33,713 --> 01:28:35,220
You stick a mirror down there.
2036
01:28:35,220 --> 01:28:37,956
- Everyone wants to see their own vagina.
2037
01:28:37,956 --> 01:28:40,332
- I try to avoid it at all costs.
2038
01:28:40,332 --> 01:28:42,453
(laughing)
2039
01:28:42,453 --> 01:28:44,578
That thing doesn't make any appearances.
2040
01:28:44,578 --> 01:28:48,800
- I just wear a mirror like all the time.
2041
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:51,642
To happen, so we could wear that outfit.
2042
01:28:51,642 --> 01:28:53,892
(laughing)
2043
01:28:55,590 --> 01:28:56,423
- Sorry.
2044
01:29:00,436 --> 01:29:03,686
♪ Show you my ladylike ♪
129422
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
