Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

♪ IT'S THE SPORT OF KINGS ♪

♪ BETTER THAN DIAMOND RINGS ♪

♪ THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE TO SING ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ SUNDAY IN THE SNOW ♪

♪ REFEREE'S WHISTLE BLOWS ♪

♪ WEEKEND WARRIORS TOE-TO-TOE ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ OLD TIMERS-- DO YOU REMEMBER THEIR NAMES? ♪

♪ LIKE ROMPIN' NAGURSKI AND NIGHT TRAIN LANE ♪

♪ BULLDOG TURNER, MY MAN SAM HUFF ♪

♪ IN THE SNOW AND THE MUD, THEY WERE STILL REAL TOUGH ♪

♪ CRAZY LEGS HIRSCH AND REMEMBER RAYMOND BERRY ♪

♪ ASK ME IF THEY HIT HARD, AND I'LL SAY, "VERY" ♪

♪ PAUL CHRISTMAN, BUDDY YOUNG, LENNY MOORE ♪

♪ IT'S THEM I ADORE, THEY SEEM TO ALWAYS SCORE ♪

♪ ED SPRINKLE, DEFENSIVE END FOR THOSE YEARS ♪

♪ GENE "BIG DADDY" LIPSCOMB WAS THE MAN TO FEAR ♪

♪ YOU HAVE STEVE VAN BUREN AND OTTO GRAHAM ♪

♪ JOHNNY UNITAS HAD THE ARM OF A SUPERMAN ♪

♪ WE HAD CHARLIE TRIPPI AND GINO MARCHETTI ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE SEARCHIN' FOR A CHAMPION ♪

♪ THEY'RE YOUR BEST BET ♪

♪ WISH I COULD QUARTERBACK LIKE JOHNNY LUJACK ♪

♪ OR EVEN SID LUCKMAN, AS A MATTER OF FACT ♪

♪ DO YOU REMEMBER RED GRANGE, THE GALLOPING GHOST? ♪

♪ HE COULD DO A 95 RUNNIN' COAST-TO-COAST ♪

♪ YOU HAD NORM VAN BROCKLIN, A REAL GREAT PLAYER ♪

♪ SO SWIFT WITH HIS MOVES THAT HE COULD BE MAYOR ♪

♪ Y.A. TITTLE, OLLIE MATSON, HEY ♪

♪ I REMEMBER ALL THOSE GUYS FROM BACK IN THE DAYS ♪

♪ IT'S THE SPORT OF KINGS ♪

♪ BETTER THAN DIAMOND RINGS ♪

♪ THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE TO SING ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ SUNDAY IN THE SNOW ♪

♪ REFEREE'S WHISTLE BLOWS ♪

♪ WEEKEND WARRIORS TOE-TO-TOE ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪♪

GRRR!

COME ON. I'M SORRY.

YEARBOOKS ARE FOREVER. LOOK SERIOUS.

O.K., ALL RIGHT.

JANEY, KEEP YOUR ARMS DOWN.

COME ON. PUMP THEM!

ALL RIGHT, MEAN.

TELL ME I'M GOING TO COACH GIRLS' TRACK

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

THIS GAG PHOTO WAS YOUR IDEA.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

YOU'RE USING MY UNIFORM!

OH, MOLL.

DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU.

NO PROBLEM. ANYTIME YOU WANNA GET INTO MY PANTS,

JUST ASK.

NEVER HAD SISTERS BEFORE.

WHAT A GUY.

KEEP YOUR STRIDE NICE AND EASY.

GET YOUR ARMS DOWN!

MOLL, OUR FEARLESS LEADER HAS RETURNED.

WHO? WALKER.

ASK HIM NOW BEFORE SOMEBODY ELSE DOES.

GO GET HIM, TIGER!

DR. WALKER.

MISS McGRATH!

FOR A SECOND, I THOUGHT YOU WERE BUBBA SMITH.

OH!

YOU LOOK FINE, GIRLS.

GET THOSE ARMS UP.

WELL, HOW WAS THE PRINCIPALS CONFERENCE?

OH, I...

VERY STIMULATING.

GOOD. GOOD.

DR. WALKER, WHEN YOU WERE AWAY,

NICK MARTINELLI WENT IN FOR A DOUBLE HERNIA.

HE WON'T BE ABLE TO COACH JV FOOTBALL THIS YEAR,

AND I'D, WELL, I'D LIKE THE JOB.

I TELL YOU WHAT.

RUN IT BY DAN DARWELL.

IF HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY OBJECTIONS,

IT'S FINE WITH ME.

KEEP THOSE KNEES PUMPING!

KNEES AND ARMS, GIRLS.

I GOT TO ASK DAN.

OH, WELL, THE WORST HE COULD DO IS SAY NO.

HE COULD SAY "NO, BABES.

YOU KNOW THE BEST WAY TO DO THIS?

DON'T TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT NOW.

TELL HIM YOU WANT TO MEET HIM LATER, SORT OF A DATE.

I'M NOT GOING ON A DATE WITH HIM.

PLAY A GAME OF RACQUETBALL.

THE GUY IS DISGUSTING.

DO YOU WANT TO COACH FOOTBALL?

I HAVE TO PICK THE KIDS UP. I'LL PICK THE KIDS UP.

I'M WARMED UP.

O.K. READY?

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU, DAN.

SURE, BABES. HOW ABOUT OVER DINNER?

HOW ABOUT OVER RACQUETBALL?

A QUICK SET, THEN DINNER.

WE'LL PLAY TO 5. LADIES FIRST. YOU SERVE.

I WANT TO COACH THE JV, DAN.

MOLLY, A GIRL CAN'T COACH BOYS' FOOTBALL.

YOU KNOW THAT.

NO, I DON'T.

DAN, I CAN HANDLE THIS.

HEADS UP!

1-ZIP.

HIT THE BALL, NOT THE WALL.

I WAS RAISED ON FOOTBALL. I KNOW MORE ABOUT IT

THAN ANYBODY YOU COULD GET.

I MEAN, COACHING TO ME--

HEADS UP!

OH!

YOU KNOW I'M QUALIFIED, DAN.

I'VE KNOWN YOU AND DR. WALKER A LONG TIME NOW.

YOU WOULDN'T DISCRIMINATE AGAINST A WOMAN.

YOU KNOW ME, BABES, I'M A MODERN GUY,

BUT, WALKER, I DON'T KNOW. LET'S SEE WHAT HE SAYS.

WE'LL MEET WITH HIM MONDAY. THANKS, DAN.

SHIT!

WHAT'S THE SCORE?

2-1, MINE.

IT'S 3-1, YOURS.

OH!

OH, DAN, I'M SORRY.

I'M REALLY SORRY. ARE YOU O.K.?

I'M FINE.

WE'LL PLAY AGAIN WHEN I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE.

YOU'RE NOT SORE? EVERYTHING'S FINE.

WE'RE STILL GOING TO MEET WITH WALKER?

YEAH, FIRST THING MONDAY MORNING.

O.K. YOU'RE NOT UPSET?

I'M FINE. GET OUT OF HERE, YOU KNUCKLEHEAD.

O.K.

OW!

YEAH. GO TEAM.

THROW THE BALL!

MOM, I LOST MY SNEAKER.

VERNA, I FOUND DAD'S PLAYBOOKS.

ALICE, HELP YOUR SISTER FIND HER SHOE.

SHE'S 6. YOU'RE 13. AS YOU GET OLDER, LIFE GETS TOUGHER.

LOOK AT THE WAY DAD BLOCKED THE SWEEP SERIES.

HE WAS WAY AHEAD OF HIS TIME.

I LOVE THIS PLAY.

MOM, I FOUND MARIAN'S SHOE.

PRESIDENT MUFFLEY HAD IT.

LITTLE SON OF A BITCH ALSO ATE MY DURAN DURAN ALBUM.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

VERNA SAID IT'S OK TO CALL A DOG A SON OF A BITCH,

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE IS.

VERNA.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT,

BUT IT IS LINGUISTICALLY CORRECT.

[DOORBELL RINGS] I GOT IT.

HEY, FRANK. HEY, VERNA.

HOW YOU DOING?

MY LIPS ARE ABOVE THE WATER LINE.

HEY, MOLL.

HI.

HEY, WHAT'S WITH ALL THAT?

FINALLY THROWING THAT OUT?

YEAH, I'M JUST THROWING THAT OUT. DADDY!

HI, SWEETIE. HEY, MUFFINHEAD.

WHOA!

KIDS!

WE'RE GOING SHOPPING.

GUYS, CALL ME EVERY NIGHT, O.K.?

IT'S JUST THE WEEKEND.

WELL, HUMOR ME. BYE, BABY.

BYE, MOM. SEE YOU SUNDAY.

BYE, HONEY. I LOVE YOU. BYE.

STEPHANIE'S PARENTS ARE HAVING A COCKTAIL PARTY,

SO I'LL DROP THE KIDS OFF EARLIER THAN USUAL.

O.K.? THANKS.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM ABOUT THE COACHING?

I KNOW HIM. HE'D TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF IT.

I DECIDED TO GET TOUGH, STAND UP TO HIM...

AND DENY IT.

I'LL TELL HIM MONDAY AFTER I GET THE JOB.

I'M SORRY. IF THE POSITION HAS BEEN FILLED,

THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.

COACH DARWELL IS PERFECTLY WITHIN HIS RIGHTS

TO SELECT MR. REMO AS HIS JV COACH.

BUT HE'S THE HOME EC TEACHER.

AND A DARN GOOD ONE!

MR. REMO, DO YOU KNOW WHAT A NICKEL DEFENSE IS,

AN OPEN SET FORMATION,

OR WHEN TO USE A SAFETY BLITZ?

I CAN'T SAY I DO.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GET GOOD PENETRATION?

MISS McGRATH, PLEASE.

WE'RE DRIFTING OFF THE SUBJECT NOW.

SORRY I'M LATE. WHAT DID I MISS?

DR. WALKER WAS EXPLAINING

WHY YOU PICKED SOMEONE

WHO DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT FOOTBALL.

YOU REALLY WANT TO COACH FOOTBALL?

FINE, YOU GOT IT.

YOU SAID I COULD COACH JV.

SHE'S GOING TO COACH VARSITY,

THE BIG "V." WHAT?

JESUS. DON'T-- AT CENTRAL HIGH.

OH, MY GOD!

IF MISS McGRATH IS WILLING TO TAKE NO BONUS, THEY'D LOVE TO HAVE HER.

HERE'S THE PRINCIPAL'S NUMBER. BEN EDWARDS.

I DON'T THINK CENTRAL IS THE RIGHT PLACE FOR A WOMAN.

SHE CAN HANDLE IT.

MAYBE A WOMAN'S TOUCH IS WHAT THEY NEED.

AFTER SHE TEACHES THEM TO SIT,

SHE CAN TAKE THE THORNS OUT OF THEIR PAWS.

YOU THINK THAT'S REAL FUNNY.

YES.

O.K.

O.K., LAUGHING BOY.

WELL, HA HA HA!

I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT JOB.

YOU THINK A WOMAN CAN'T BE TOUGH ENOUGH?

WELL, I'LL SHOW YOU TOUGH. WATCH ME.

I FORGOT MY PURSE.

♪ SAY WHAT YOU WANNA SAY ♪

♪ WE GONNA LISTEN 'CAUSE WE GET OUR WAY ♪

♪ DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ I DON'T THINK WE GOT A PLACE FOR YOU ♪

♪ WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ♪

♪ THE THINGS THAT WE DON'T REALLY NEED TO KNOW? ♪

♪ YOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND ♪

♪ THAT WE BEEN WORKIN' ON A MASTER PLAN ♪

♪ WE FOUND A PLACE TO CALL OUR OWN ♪

♪ WE STAND ALONE, WE STAND ALONE ♪

♪ DON'T NEED NO HELP, NO WAY BACK HOME ♪

♪ WE STAND ALONE, WE STAND ALONE ♪♪

[DOGS BARKING]

AH! AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

HELP!

OH!

MR. EDWARDS?

YOO-HOO!

MR. EDWARDS?

[DOGS BARKING]

HEY, COME ON, STOP ALL THAT NOISE.

DAMN DOGS.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

FINE.

I BET YOU'RE MOLLY McGRATH.

BEN EDWARDS.

MOLLY McGRATH.

RIGHT. COME ON IN.

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE PUPPIES.

I WENT OUT TO CHAIN THEM UP BEFORE YOU CAME,

BUT THEY GOT AWAY.

ARE THOSE PUPPIES ALWAYS HERE?

NO, JUST WHEN THE ARMED GUARDS ARE OFF.

I HAVE SOME STATS THAT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN.

OH, GREAT.

IT'S PLAY DIAGRAMS FROM OUR TOUCHDOWN PLAYS AND PLAYERS' REPORTS.

I APPRECIATE THIS SO MUCH,

YOU TAKING THIS CHANCE ON ME.

RIGHT.

HOW ABOUT SOME PEANUT BRITTLE?

WE HAVE A LITTLE LEFT FROM LAST YEAR'S FUND-RAISING DRIVE.

I'M TOO FIRED UP TO EAT.

YOU GOT SOME REAL TALENT.

WITH THE HELP OF MY ASSISTANT COACHES--

MMM!

NO ASSISTANT COACHES?

RIGHT.

OH.

SCHOOL STARTS IN A WEEK,

SO WE BETTER START PRACTICE RIGHT AWAY--

MMM.

NO PRACTICE?

I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO ROUND THE GUYS UP.

BUT IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION,

A NUMBER OF OUR PLAYERS ARE RETURNING FROM LAST YEAR.

MAYBE IT WOULDN'T TAKE MUCH COACHING.

YOUR TEAM ONLY WON ONE GAME LAST YEAR--

'CAUSE THE OTHER TEAM'S BUS BROKE DOWN.

YEAH, THAT VICTORY PARTY WAS SOMETHING TO SEE.

MR. EDWARDS...

LET'S SECOND-THINK THIS FOR A BIT.

AAH!

MISS McGRATH.

ARE YOU SURE I'M THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THIS JOB?

HEY, DAN DARWELL TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE EMINENTLY QUALIFIED.

HE ALSO TELLS ME

IT'S YOUR LIFETIME DREAM TO COACH FOOTBALL.

IS THAT RIGHT?

THAT'S RIGHT.

IF WORD GOT AROUND THAT YOU CHICKENED OUT ON THIS JOB,

YOU THINK ANYBODY WOULD EVER OFFER YOU ANOTHER CHANCE?

YES?

NO.

RIGHT.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

HEY, COACH, AREN'T YOU LATE FOR PRACTICE?

I WAS JUST GOING.

ARE YOU NERVOUS?

NO.

WELL, A LITTLE.

I DON'T BLAME YOU.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

YOU GUYS WANT TO FIGHT?

GO AHEAD. PUNCH EACH OTHER'S HEAD OFF.

DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

ONLY TELL YOUR MOTHER YOU DON'T HAVE A PRINCIPAL ANYMORE.

YOU GOT A PAROLE OFFICER. UNDERSTOOD?

SUITED UP AND READY TO PLAY, COACH.

BE ON THE FIVE IN FIELD MINUTES.

AAAHHHH!

YEAH!

OH, GOD!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP!

IF YOU'RE NOT HERE TO PLAY FOOTBALL,

CLEAN OUT YOUR LOCKERS AND LEAVE NOW.

I LIKE HER TITS.

YOU'RE IN TRAINING AS OF RIGHT NOW. PUT THAT OUT.

I DON'T INTEND TO COACH A BUNCH OF LOSERS.

[RADIO PLAYS MUSIC LOUDLY]

[SHOUTING OVER MUSIC] NOW IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO WORK HARD--

SHE HAS A REALLY CUTE ASS. YOU NOTICE THAT?

[LAUGHTER]

GUYS, LOOK--

I WAS RAISED ON THIS SPORT.

IT'S PART OF ME.

I CAN HELP YOU LEARN THE GAME AND WIN.

[MUSIC STOPS]

AND I THINK THAT WITH--

IF WE JUST LEARN TO TRUST EACH OTHER,

THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN'T DO.

I'LL HELP YOU. I'LL BE THERE.

I JUST NEED FOR YOU TO GIVE ME A CHANCE.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

[FARTING]

LINE UP FOR CALISTHENICS!

DO YOU GUYS WANT TO PLAY FOOTBALL OR NOT?

MAN, COME ON.

COME ON!

WE START OUT BY STRETCHING OUR HAMS.

RIGHT FOOT OVER LEFT, AND HANG.

YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO PLAY FOOTBALL.

YOU CAN'T PLAY HURT, AND IF YOU'RE NOT PROPERLY CONDITIONED--

OH, ZIP THAT SHIT.

TELL US WHEN YOU WANT US TO PLAY FOOTBALL.

WHAT'S HAPPENING, FELLAS?

WHAT YOU DOING HERE, BIRD?

SO, YOU'RE THE COACH.

I AM. WHO ARE YOU?

OH, AIN'T NO THING, BABY.

I'M JUST A FOOTBALL FAN.

DON'T BE TOO ROUGH ON THESE GIRLS

'CAUSE THEY REALLY AIN'T GOT THE STOMACHS

FOR ALL THAT PHYSICAL ACTIVITY.

YOU GOT A WALKMAN?

I'M FRESH OUT.

WHO WANTS A WATCH? COME SEE THE BIRD. CHECK IT OUT.

ARE THEY COMING BACK?

IF THERE'S A SCRIMMAGE TOMORROW.

THERE WILL BE A SCRIMMAGE TOMORROW.

DO YOU WANT TO SHOW THEM UP?

THEY'RE THE BEST GUYS WE GOT.

TELL ME THIS. DO YOU WANT TO PLAY FOOTBALL?

YEAH.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.

DON'T WEAR YOURSELVES OUT.

I CAN'T GO BACK THERE TOMORROW.

DARWELL HAS A POOL.

DARWELL BOUGHT A POOL?

HE'S GOT EVERYBODY BETTING ON HOW LONG YOU'LL LAST.

IS WEDNESDAY A SAFE BET?

OH! I WANT TO FORGET THIS DAY.

ALL RIGHT, SWEETIE. THANKS FOR THE LIFT.

WHAT'S THIS?

JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING.

THANKS.

MR. EDWARDS? MOLLY McGRATH.

UH...NOT SO GOOD.

ACTUALLY, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT...

I DON'T THINK THAT I'M...

UH...

OH!

THAT'S NOT FAIR.

UH...UH...

THAT IT'S NOT FAIR THAT I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.

I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS AGAIN FOR PICKING ME.

O.K.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

GOD, I EVEN QUIT WHEN I'M TRYING TO QUIT.

15,

16,

17,

18,

19,

20. ALL RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?

YOU SAID THERE'S A SCRIMMAGE.

SO TAKE THE FIELD.

LET'S GO, MAN.

MY GUYS, HUDDLE UP.

I CAN BREAK HIS DAMN FACE.

DON'T DO THAT, MAN. KISSING UP.

LET 'EM PLAY.

REMEMBER OUR FIRST WRINKLE, PEANUT? THINK SO.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

KISSING HER ASS, MOST LIKELY.

LET'S FIRE THEM UP.

WATCH THIS. WATCH THIS. BREAK.

LET'S GO, D!

HUT! HUT!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

LOOK AT PEANUT. THAT TWERP!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

YEAH! SURE!

HEY, SHE'S PRETTY GOOD.

LET'S SHOW THEM WHAT FOOTBALL IS ALL ABOUT.

KILL THEM.

MARVEL, GO DEEP. PHILLIPS, RUN A POST.

ON YOU.

GO!

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GO.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

BLUE. 22.

FUCK YOU.

STOP THOSE WIMPS!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

SHE THINKS SHE'S HOT SHIT, MAN! I'M GOING IN.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO RUN?

DOUBLE REVERSE. I'LL TAKE IT.

YOU JUST PLAY QUARTERBACK.

YOU AIN'T DONE NO END-ZONE DANCING.

SOMEBODY THINK OF A GOOD PLAY.

JUST STAY OUT OF MY WAY.

ALL RIGHT.

LEFT FORMATION, DOUBLE REVERSE ON BEAN.

TRY NOT TO GET ME SACKED THIS TIME.

LET'S BREAK!

GRRR!

OW!

THAT'S ON THE CHICKENSHIT SIDE.

SORRY. I WAS RUNNING MY BLOCKING ASSIGNMENT.

I GUESS PRACTICE IS OVER, HUH, MISS COACH?

[DOOR CLOSES]

HI, GUYS.

HI, JANEY.

OH!

NICE DAY AT SCHOOL, MOLL?

TERRIBLE.

TERRIBLE.

BUT I GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT.

I'LL GET MY OLD JOB BACK AT PRESCOTT,

AND I'LL BE AT THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.

REMO WON'T LAST LONG WITH THE JVs.

SO WHEN HE BOMBS OUT, MOLLY TAKES THE FIELD.

DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.

GOING BACK TO COACHING GIRLS' TRACK

IS NOT EXACTLY THE SAME AS QUITTING.

DARWELL HIRED SOMEBODY ELSE FOR IT.

I'LL KILL HIM.

THE PROBLEM WITH KILLING HIM, THOUGH,

THAT'S THE KINDA THING THAT GOES ON YOUR RECORD

AND FOLLOWS YOU EVERYWHERE.

WELL...I CAN STICK IT OUT.

I'LL BET SHE'S GETTING IN HER VAN NOW,

TEARS STREAMING DOWN HER FACE.

SHE'S TOO STUPID TO KNOW WHEN TO QUIT.

I HOPE SHE STAYS.

I ONLY GOT A FEW MORE DAYS

TO GET MY HANDS ON HER QUIFF.

YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.

SHE KNOWS I GOT 10 POUNDS

OF DANGLING FURY WAITING FOR HER.

I KNOW SHE WANTS IT.

I CAN TELL HOW SHE LOOKS AT ME.

PUT YOUR PANTS ON AND LISTEN UP!

BABY, WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU.

DON'T CALL ME BABY.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

WHAT'D HE SAY?

UH, HE SAYS, YES, MA'AM.

MY NAME IS COACH McGRATH.

IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER THAT, CALL ME COACH.

[BURP!]

HEY, COACH?

YES.

WHY DON'T YOU QUIT SO WE CAN GET A REAL COACH?

AMEN.

YOU DON'T GET IT.

I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'LL TAKE THIS JOB.

YOU AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

YOU WANT TO GET RID OF ME?

YOU REALLY WANT TO GET RID OF ME?

YEAH.

ABSOLUTELY.

STEP OUTSIDE.

IF I DROP BEFORE ANY ONE OF YOU,

YOU CAN TELL ME TO GO TO HELL.

WE WILL!

WE'LL PACK YOUR BAGS.

BUT IF YOU QUIT BEFORE I DO,

THEN FROM HERE ON OUT, I CALL THE SHOTS.

YEAH! YEAH!

YEAH!

ALL RIGHT! YEAH!

WE'RE COMING UP ON YOU.

WE'RE GAINING! ALL RIGHT!

I'LL BET YOU $50 THE COACH OUTRUNS THEM.

SHE'S CRAZY IF SHE THINKS

SHE CAN BEAT TRUMAINE OR CERULO.

HA HA HA! I LOVE IT!

CALL ME AND LET ME KNOW WHO WON.

COME ON, TRUMAINE. COME ON, TRUMAINE.

NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT.

WHAT? Y'ALL LEAVING?

♪ YOU'VE GIVEN ME ALL ♪

♪ THAT A MAN CAN GIVE ♪

I'LL SEE Y'ALL AT THE BANK.

♪ GET DOWN TO THE CORE, BABY ♪

♪ AND SHOW ME HOW TO LIVE ♪

♪ YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD TEACHER ♪

[THUNDER]

♪ 'CAUSE I'M A TEACHER'S PET ♪

♪ BUT THERE'S ONE LITTLE THING, BABY ♪

♪ YOU HAVEN'T TAUGHT ME YET ♪

♪ SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS ♪

♪ WORKS, WORKS ♪

♪ SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS ♪

♪ WORKS, WORKS ♪

♪ GOT TO SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS ♪

♪ WORKS, WORKS ♪

♪ SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS ♪

HEY, IT'S RAINING.

LET'S CALL IT A DRAW, O.K.?

YOU QUIT, YOU LOSE.

♪ YOU'RE GONNA FEEL SO FINE ♪

♪ SO FINE ♪

♪ SO FINE ♪

♪ YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT ALL ♪

♪ YOU GOT TO LEARN HOW TO TALK ♪

♪ TALK, TALK ♪

♪ YOU BETTER LEARN HOW TO CRAWL, BABY ♪

♪ BEFORE YOU LEARN TO WALK ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE HANDING OUT THE FAVORS ♪

♪ HAVIN' YOUR FANTASIES ♪

♪ WELL, I'M THE FIRST IN LINE, BABY ♪

♪ SO DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ♪

♪ SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS ♪

♪ WORKS, WORKS ♪

♪ SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS ♪

♪ WORKS, WORKS ♪

♪ YOU GOT TO SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS ♪

♪ WORKS, WORKS ♪

♪ SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS ♪

♪ 'CAUSE WHEN IT WORKS RIGHT, IT FEELS SO FINE ♪

I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

I RAN THE BOSTON MARATHON.

AW, SHIT!

TWICE.

♪ SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS ♪

♪ WORKS, WORKS ♪♪

♪ SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS ♪

♪ SHOW ME ♪

♪ SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS, BABY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE WHEN IT WORKS RIGHT ♪

♪ IT WORKS RIGHT, IT WORKS RIGHT ♪

♪ IT FEELS SO GOOD ♪

♪ SO GOOD ♪

♪ SO GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD ♪

♪ OH, IT FEELS SO GOOD ♪♪

YOU OWE ME A NEW STOPWATCH!

YOU PUSSIES!

FUCK YOU!

FUCK YOU WHAT?

FUCK YOU...COACH McGRATH.

BETTER.

[HUMMING]

MOLLY.

FRANK!

I HEARD ABOUT THE LITTLE JOB CHANGE.

GET OUT OF HERE.

WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR EYE?

CHEAP MASCARA. NOW GET OUT.

SERIOUSLY, MOLLY, WE HAVE TO TALK.

I'M NOT OFFENDED BY NUDITY.

GIVE ME A TOWEL.

A BIG TOWEL, FRANK.

SO HOW ARE YOU DOING IN SCHOOL?

FINE. FINE.

GOOD. GREAT.

I THINK IT'S TERRIFIC

YOU CARE ABOUT THIS COACHING JOB.

AND THAT THOSE KIDS WILL BENEFIT FROM YOUR EXPERTISE.

YOU CALLED, I WASN'T HOME.

THE SCHOOL'S IN THE GHETTO.

YOU STARTED THINKING OF ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ME,

THEREBY CAUSING YOU INCONVENIENCE.

YOU'RE HERE TO TELL ME

THAT YOU DON'T LIKE ME COACHING AT CENTRAL.

I HATE IT.

TOUGH.

EXCUSE ME?

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

I SAID, "TOUGH."

AHEM. SO SCHOOL IS FINE, RIGHT?

YEAH. UH-HUH.

THAT'S TERRIFIC. THAT'S JUST GREAT.

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY OPINION?

FOR THE 10 YEARS WE WERE MARRIED,

YOUR OPINION WAS MY OPINION!

FOR FOUR YEARS OF DIVORCE, YOUR OPINION WAS MINE.

NOW I WANT MY OPINION TO BE MY OPINION!

I ALWAYS GAVE YOU YOUR OWN WAY.

WHAT?

YOU WANTED A VAN, RIGHT?

NO, I DIDN'T!

WAIT A SECOND.

YOU WANTED THE VAN!

YOU WANTED A VAN, WE GOT A VAN!

YOU WANTED A VAN.

YOU MADE ME THINK I WANTED A VAN.

GETTING READY FOR HALLOWEEN?

IT'S SEPTEMBER.

OH, OF COURSE.

YOU TRADED THAT VALIANT FOR THAT STUPID VAN!

AND NOW I HAVE A VAN,

AND I WISH I HAD A VALIANT!

THAT ISN'T POLITE.

I WAS JUST ON MY WAY TO THE, UH, KITCHEN TO GET SOME MORE WATER.

THE KITCHEN IS THAT WAY.

STEPHANIE?

STEPHANIE!

OH!

STEPHANIE. HELLO.

WELL, HELLO. WHERE'S FRANK?

HE LEFT.

OH, HE LEFT. WELL...

[CRASH]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, STEPHANIE?

I WAS WAITING FOR YOU, FRANK.

WELL, COME ON, WE'RE LATE. LET'S GO.

SEE YOU, MOLLY.

OW! FRANK. I'M SORRY. SORRY.

ARE YOU O.K.?

HOW ABOUT THAT?

WHOO!

BEAUTIFUL.

ALL RIGHT! WHOO!

[LOUD MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ OOH! ♪

♪ OOH, YEAH ♪

♪ YEAH ♪

♪ OOH OOH! ♪

♪ I KNOW THIS GIRL ♪

♪ I WATCH HER EVERY DAY ♪

♪ SHE'S GOT A LOOK THAT TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY ♪

♪ SHE'S UNDER PRESSURE ♪

♪ FROM EVERYONE SHE MEETS ♪

♪ THEY TRY TO BREAK INTO THE MYSTERY ♪

♪ I'M GONNA MOVE IN ♪

♪ YES, I WANNA PLAY ♪

♪ I'M GONNA TRY TO STEAL HER HEART AWAY ♪

♪ I'VE GOT A FEELIN' ♪

♪ I GOT A SHOT ♪

♪ SHE'S GOT THE TALENT NOBODY ELSE HAS GOT ♪

♪ SHE'S A REAL CAPTIVATOR ♪

♪ SUCH AN OPERATOR, LEAVE YA BLUE ♪

♪ SO BLUE ♪

♪ SHE'S GOT THE GUYS IN HER POCKET ♪

♪ GIVE HER LOVE, THEN SHE'LL HOCK IT ♪

♪ SHE'S A COOL ONE, COOL ONE ♪

♪ I'VE GOT SOME GOOD HANDS, BABY ♪

♪ I'M GONNA TAKE YOU IN MY ARMS, GIRL ♪

♪ I'VE GOT SOME GOOD HANDS, BABY ♪

♪ I'VE GOT SOME REAL GOOD HANDS ♪

♪ REAL GOOD HANDS ♪♪

THIS IS LAST YEAR'S SCHEDULE.

IT'S GONE.

FORGET IT.

YOU GUYS ARE BETTER NOW.

MUCH BETTER.

NOW, TOMORROW'S OUR FIRST GAME.

FORGET THE PAST.

CONCENTRATE ON TOMORROW

AND DON'T BE NERVOUS TONIGHT.

YOU O.K., MOMMY?

I'M FINE, SWEETIE. THANK YOU.

YOU CAN SLEEP IN MY BED WITH ME

IF YOU'RE SCARED, MOMMY.

I'M ALL RIGHT, SWEETIE.

GOOD NIGHT.

[CROWD CHEERS]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

[RING-A-DING]

♪ LET'S ROCK ♪

♪ LET'S ROCK, COME ON AND BOOGIE ♪

♪ BOOGIE DOWN, BOOGIE DOWN ♪

♪ WILDCATS ARE THE BEST AROUND ♪

♪ BOOGIE DOWN, BOOGIE DOWN ♪

♪ WE'RE GONNA RUN THOSE COUGARS OUTTA TOWN ♪

♪ BOOOOOGIE DOWN ♪♪

LET'S ROCK!

O.K., LISTEN UP.

THEY KEEP RINGING THAT FUCKING BELL!

IF THEY'RE COUGARS, HOW COME THEY GOT A GOAT?

WE GOT A DOG DRESSED LIKE A CAT.

COULD WE TALK ABOUT THE GAME?

JET, RED RIGHT. 29-Z REVERSE.

NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THAT CODE STUFF, EXCEPT YOU.

O.K.

MARVEL, I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.

YOU GIVE IT TO TRUMAINE, O.K.?

ON WHORE.

BREAK! BREAK!

[RING-A-DING]

BLACK. 24. BLACK. 24.

YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORE!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

WHEN WE GO WITH THE VEER,

HAND OFF TO THE FULLBACK.

THEIR TACKLES HAVE BEEN FORCING THE PLAY.

READ THE OUTSIDE LINEBACKER.

IF HE COMMITS TO YOU, PITCH TO MARVEL.

WE'RE 4 POINTS BEHIND.

WE CAN PUSH PAST THEM, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE ANY PRIDE?

YEAH!

ANY GUTS?

YEAH!

GO GET TOUGH!

YEAH!

GET MEAN!

YEAH!

TURN THOSE COUGARS INTO FURBALLS!

YEAH! YEAH!

LET'S GO EAT SOME PUSSY!

YEAH! YEAH!

RED. 26. RED. 26.

THE COUGARS ARE SHIT!

[CROWD CHEERS]

ALL RIGHT!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

COME ON, GUYS. GOOD GAME.

HEY, SOME OF Y'ALL STILL SOME ROOKIES.

GOOD GAME, CERULO.

WAY TO GO, KRU.

YOU PLAYED A GREAT GAME.

WE'LL DO BETTER NEXT WEEK.

GIVE IT UP, CENTRAL!

NICE GAME.

YEAH, RIGHT.

CONGRATULATIONS. GOOD LUCK.

GOOD GAME, COACH.

HEY, MOM!

THE IMPORTANT THING IS YOU PLAYED A GOOD GAME.

DON'T BLOW SMOKE UP OUR ASS.

I WOULDN'T DO THAT.

[FARTS]

ESPECIALLY NOT UP YOURS, CERULO.

REMEMBER, WE GOT NINE MORE GAMES.

[BAA]

SO WE GOT TO GET MORE DISCIPLINED AND ORGANIZED.

[BAA]

CERULO, CUT IT OUT!

WHAT'S THIS?

YOUR PLAYBOOKS.

I'LL PUT A PLAY UP THERE.

MEMORIZE IT.

YOU WILL BE TESTED ON IT.

[BAA]

CERULO, O.K.? IT AIN'T ME, COACH.

[CLANK RATTLE BANG]

[BAA]

[CLANG]

[BAA]

[BAA]

YOU STOLE THE COUGARS' GOAT?

EDWARDS.

EDWARDS? HE'S NAMED EDWARDS?

PRINCIPAL EDWARDS.

PRINCIPAL EDWARDS!

WELCOME TO OUR LOCKER ROOM.

RIGHT.

YOU ALL PLAYED A DECENT GAME YESTERDAY.

MAKE THAT ABOUT 200% MORE DECENT

AND WE CAN HAVE SOME VICTORY PARTIES.

WELL, WE'RE WORKING ON IT.

THANKS FOR COMING DOWN.

THE PRINCIPAL AT JACKSON HIGH CALLED ME.

IT SEEMS THEY'RE MISSING THEIR GOAT.

NOBODY WOULD KNOW ABOUT THAT, WOULD THEY?

[BAA]

WHAT?

NAH! MY GUYS WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

WELL, GOOD.

BECAUSE IF IT'S NOT RETURNED TODAY,

ANY PERSON CONNECTED WITH THE GOAT'S DISAPPEARANCE

WILL BE SUMMARILY EXPELLED.

[BANG]

OH!

OOH, THAT GETS ME STEAMED.

RIGHT.

I'M SORRY I INTERRUPTED YOUR MEETING.

[BAA]

A JOKE'S A JOKE.

YOU GUYS ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS.

I WANT A VOLUNTEER TO TAKE THAT GOAT BACK. O.K.?

WHO'S IT GOING TO BE?

HMM?

[BAA]

GOOD GOAT.

GOOD LITTLE GOAT.

STAY HERE, BABY.

[BAA]

[BAA]

HI, MOM.

HI, BABY. WHAT'S THIS?

I GOT HUNGRY AND FIXED DINNER.

CHOCOLATE CHIP IS NOT WHAT I CALL DINNER.

WHERE'S ALICE?

I'LL FIX YOU DINNER IN A MINUTE.

HI, MOLLY.

JEANNIE. NEW HAIRDO?

DO YOU HATE IT?

IT LOOKS TERRIBLE.

GREAT. WE'RE GOING TO THE LIBRARY.

I'LL TAKE YOU.

MOM'S COMING TO PICK US UP.

I CAN DRIVE YOU.

JEANNIE'S MOM WILL TAKE US.

I'LL TAKE YOU.

FIRST I HAVE TO FIX YOU SOMETHING TO EAT.

SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

SHE MUST HATE IT.

SHE DOESN'T CARE.

I'M FIXING YOU A NICE DINNER.

I DON'T WANT A NICE DINNER.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

I JUST WANT TO GO TO THE LIBRARY.

I'LL TAKE YOU.

WE'RE GOING.

NO.

JEANNIE MAY GO.

ALICE, YOU'RE STAYING TO EAT.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

YOU DON'T CARE IF I DO BAD AT SCHOOL.

IT'S YOUR FAULT. YOU CAME HOME LATE.

ALL YOU CARE ABOUT ARE THOSE STUPID BOYS.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE MY HAIR.

I HATE YOU.

ALICE.

ALICE, OPEN THE DOOR.

O.K., I HATE YOUR HAIR.

I REALLY, REALLY HATE YOUR HAIR.

I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE MOTHERS

WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.

BUT I DIDN'T.

SO I GUESS I AM.

WHAT?

I WANTED TO TALK CALMLY ABOUT YOUR HAIR.

MARIAN, COME HERE, HONEY.

YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.

MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANY FOOTBALL TEAM.

HOW COME YOU PLAY WITH THEM

INSTEAD OF MAKING US DINNER?

I WANT TO BE THE BEST COACH I CAN POSSIBLY BE.

I WANT YOU TO BE THE BEST

AT WHATEVER YOU BECOME.

I WANT TO BE A HELICOPTER PILOT.

MARIAN, YOU CAN'T BE A HELICOPTER PILOT.

SHE CAN BE ANYTHING SHE WANTS TO BE.

SO CAN YOU.

SO CAN I.

DADDY SAYS YOU'RE GOING TO QUIT.

HE DID, HUH?

WELL, HE'S WRONG.

I'M NOT GOING TO QUIT.

I'M GOING TO SEE THIS THROUGH,

BUT I NEED YOUR HELP.

CAN YOU DO THAT?

O.K.

ALICE?

O.K., SWEETIE.

[THUNDER]

PRINCIPAL EDWARDS.

COACH.

THE GOAT SHOWED UP AT JACKSON HIGH.

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE PLEASED TO HEAR IT.

YOU DON'T LOOK PLEASED TO HEAR IT.

KRUSHINSKI TOLD ME ABOUT LAST YEAR'S QUARTERBACK, LAVENDER WILLIAMS.

LEVANDER.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW HIM?

WE HAVE THIS HATE/HATE RELATIONSHIP.

SHOW ME HIS STATS.

NO SENSE HAVING YOUR MOUTH WATER

FOR FOOD YOU'LL NEVER GET.

YOU THINK I CAN'T GET HIM TO PLAY?

RIGHT.

I'D LIKE TO SEE HIS STATS ANYWAY.

I'LL DIG THEM OUT FOR YOU.

LET'S SEE HERE.

SAY, KRUSHINSKI,

ARE YOU STEPPING DOWN AS QUARTERBACK?

WELL, IT'S, UH...

I CAN RUN GOOD AND THROW GOOD.

I JUST CAN'T RUN AND THROW GOOD.

I WANT THE TEAM TO WIN.

RIGHT.

WOW. HE WAS GOOD.

HE'S ALSO A CRIMINAL AND CHRONICALLY TRUANT.

WHAT CLASS WOULD HE BE IN NOW?

OH, HE'D BE IN 11-A ENGLISH.

HOWEVER, I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IF HE'S THERE.

COULD I HAVE HIS ADDRESS?

YOU DON'T WANT TO GO THERE.

[SIREN]

IS LEVANDER WILLIAMS HERE?

NO.

WHERE IS HE? AT MAURICE'S.

WHERE'S MAURICE'S?

OUCH! OOH.

YEAH, HE'S ONE OF MY SUPPLIERS.

HE AIN'T HERE NOW.

LADY, IS THAT YOUR VAN OUTSIDE?

UM...

YOU SHOULD GET SOME WIRE-WHEELED HUBCAPS.

I DON'T CARE FOR ANY.

[CRASH BANG CLANK]

DO YOU KNOW WHERE LEVANDER WILLIAMS IS?

THESE BEAUTIES WOULD COST $400 ANYWHERE ELSE,

BUT SINCE YOU'RE A FRIEND OF LEVANDER'S,

THEY'RE YOURS, INSTALLED, $80.

JUST TELL ME WHERE I CAN FIND LEVANDER.

$65.

THAT'S BELOW WHOLESALE, LADY.

WHOSE BALL?

IT'S MINE.

HA HA HA!

SCRATCH.

OH, MAN!

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT.

PLEASE, JUST CONTINUE DOING WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

I WAS TOLD THAT I WOULD FIND A LEVANDER WILLIAMS HERE.

I'M LEVANDER WILLIAMS.

NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M LEVANDER WILLIAMS.

WHAT?

HA HA HA!

ALL RIGHT. ALL KIDDING ASIDE,

I REALLY NEED TO FIND LEVANDER.

HE'S ABOUT 18.

I CAN SHOW YOU ABOUT 18.

BIRD.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?

YOU'RE LEVANDER, AREN'T YOU?

I GOT AN APPOINTMENT TO GET TO.

I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

I'VE BEEN CHASING YOU.

GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES.

MY PLAYING DAYS ARE OVER.

HEY, MAN, YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

MR. BIRD, STEP INTO MY OFFICE.

I'LL HANDLE THIS.

OUR CAR WON'T START.

COULD YOU GIVE US A RIDE

TO MY MOTHER'S HOUSE?

YOU AND LEVANDER CAN CHAT.

ALL RIGHT.

NICE HUBCAPS. HOW MUCH WERE THEY?

65.

YOU WAS ROBBED.

♪ LOOK HERE ♪

♪ WHAT YOU GONNA DO WITHOUT ME? ♪♪

I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR FOOTBALL.

I'M WORKING ON ANOTHER CAREER.

IF YOU'RE AS GOOD AS YOUR STATS SAY,

YOU COULD GET A SCHOLARSHIP.

IS THIS WHERE HIS MOTHER LIVES?

SHE GOT SICK OF THE SUBURBS.

ALL I NEED TO BEAT DEARBORN IS A PASSER.

COME ON! SHIT!

HE SAID THAT KEY WOULD WORK.

YOU CAN'T TRUST JIMMY. HE'S A CRIMINAL.

I GOT SICK OF LOSING.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE A DECENT COACH.

YOU'VE GOT ME. I'M GOOD!

HEY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THE KEY DOESN'T WORK.

WE'LL GO THROUGH A WINDOW.

WAIT A MINUTE.

HE CAN'T WALK ON MY VAN.

HE'LL CAVE IT IN.

CAN YOU WAIT TILL SHE COMES HOME?

SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL. SHE NEEDS HER OWN NIGHTGOWN.

IT'S HER LUCKY NIGHTGOWN.

HE'S TOO HEAVY TO WALK UP THERE.

I'M NOT PLAYING FOOTBALL.

WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.

AH...

LOOK, IF YOU GET DOWN,

I'LL GET UP, O.K.?

THAT'S FRESH!

THAT'S COOL, MAN.

NOT COOL. WE'LL DO THIS LATER.

NO, WE DO THIS NOW.

WE'LL COME BACK LATER.

OH, MY GOD!

LET'S GO!

YOU BETTER COME ON DOWN.

HOLD ON, MAN.

AAH!

AAH! AAH!

OH! DROP.

I CAN'T!

LADY, I'LL CATCH YOU. NOW, DROP!

OH!

AH!

AAH! WHAT'S HAPPENING?

AAH!

I'M IN A TRASH CAN!

SHH! BE QUIET.

YOU WANT ME TO BE QUIET?

YOU GET MY VAN BACK.

GET BACK WHAT I PAID FOR THOSE HUBCAPS.

O.K. SHUT UP.

PLAY FOR CENTRAL, OR I START SCREAMING.

THE STUFF IN THAT PLACE WAS ALL STOLEN.

I WAS GOING TO RETURN IT TO THE OWNERS.

WE'RE IN HERE!

SHH!

SHUT UP.

IF YOU PLAY FOOTBALL, MY LIPS ARE SEALED.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS, DON'T YOU?

THIS IS EXTORTION.

THAT'S AN UGLY CHARGE, BIRD.

TRUE, BUT UGLY.

YAH!

RIGHT!

LEFT!

RIGHT!

LEFT!

THAT'S THE BIRD, MAN.

SHAKE IT!

THE BIRD. YEAH!

WHOO!

I'M HERE. LINE UP.

YOU GUYS ARE SO PITIFUL,

I SAID, "BIRD, STOP THESE LOSERS

FROM EMBARRASSING THEMSELVES."

STREET LIFE TREATING YOU WELL?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BIRD?

CRIME DON'T PAY NO MORE?

WHOO HOO! HOO HOO!

SO THAT'S IT, HUH?

I GUESS I AIN'T QUARTERBACK NO MORE.

I GUESS NOT.

DID I EVER TELL YOU I'M A GOOD SLOTBACK?

YOU'RE HIRED.

THANKS, KRU.

♪ LIVIN' ON THE MOVE, TRYIN' TO GET AHEAD ♪

♪ WORKIN' TOO HARD ♪

WHOO!

♪ SEVEN ON THE STREET, YOU CAN HEAR THE BEAT ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA GET FAR ♪

♪ TRY TO WORK IT OUT, WANNA GET AHEAD... ♪

YEAH!

♪ HUNGER IN YOUR HEART TEARS YOU APART ♪

♪ IT'S TAKEN YOUR SOUL... ♪

YOU'RE RIGHT, KRU! YOU'RE A GREAT SLOTBACK!

♪ THIS AIN'T WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND... ♪

ALL RIGHT, LAST CHANCE.

ROCKET SLOT LEFT, A-BACK POST.

COME ON, BABY!

♪ THIS LIFE AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH ♪

♪ YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING MORE ♪

♪ PENETRATION IS WHAT YOU NEED, BOY ♪

♪ GOT TO GET TO ♪

♪ GET TO YOU, OHH ♪

♪ PENETRATION IS WHAT YOU NEED, BOY ♪♪

GREAT GAME.

VICTORY PARTIES BEAT THE HELL

OUT OF DEFEAT PARTIES, DON'T THEY?

WHEN I COME BACK, YOU BETTER NOT BE FLIRTING.

BIRD...DON'T CASE MY HOUSE, O.K.?

ARE YOU SUGGESTING I'M A CRIMINAL?

YOU GIRLS DID A GREAT JOB.

THAT MASCOT COSTUME YOU MADE FOR YOUR DOG

IS A BAD MOTHERFUCKER.

THANK YOU.

GUYS, WHERE ARE YOUR KNAPSACKS?

GO GET THEM! DADDY WILL BE HERE SOON.

LET'S GO!

HEY! NO DRINKING! HAND IT OVER.

HAND IT OVER!

COACH, IT'S NONALCOHOLIC.

IT'S PLENTY OF ALCOHOL.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

♪ ALL I NEED IS LOVE... ♪

SORRY, HOME BOY. THIS IS A PRIVATE PARTY.

EXCUSE ME. IS MOLLY HERE?

YOU MEAN THE COACH? SHE'S OVER THERE.

HEY! HEY! WHOA! WHAT'S YOUR NAME

AND FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION, SWEET THANG?

FRANK?

IT'S NONALCOHOLIC.

I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT, OK?

FRANK...FRANK!

MOLLY! WHAT'S GOING ON, HERE?

DON'T BE GRABBING THE COACH LIKE THAT!

IT'S A VICTORY PARTY, FRANK.

WE WON AGAINST DEARBORN.

THAT'S GREAT! IS THIS HOW YOU CELEBRATE,

DRINKING BEER WITH YOUR PLAYERS?

I WASN'T DRINKING THE BEER. THEY WERE.

I MEAN, I WAS TAKING IT AWAY FROM THEM.

FINE...I HOPE THIS COMES OUT.

YOU KNOW HOW SUEDE STAINS.

DADDY!

HI, SWEETHEART!

PETER GAVE US DRINKS AND SAID

PRESIDENT MUFFIN'S COSTUME

WAS A BAD MOTHERFUCKER.

WELL, IT WAS.

BYE, MOM! SEE YOU SUNDAY!

OH, MY GOD!

WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

IN FIVE DAYS SHE'S TURNED INTO A MARTIAN!

YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D FIND YOU!

AAAAH!

HEY! LET GO OF HER!

AAAAH!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? WHAT HAPPENED?

SWEETIE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

FRANK, HER NOSE IS BLEEDING.

ARE YOU O.K.?

JUST STAY BACK, ALL OF YOU!

EVERYBODY JUST STOP, O.K.?

ANYBODY MESS WITH ME OR MY KIDS,

THEY GET HURT.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

FRANK!

FRANK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU CAN'T COME AND START SLUGGING PEOPLE!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

THE PARTY MUST BE WINDING DOWN.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE OF THEM.

I AM.

COME ON, SWEETIE.

FRANK, ARE YOU O.K., HONEY?

IS MY HAIR O.K.?

EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL YOU GOT HERE.

THAT'S A MATTER OF OPINION, MOLLY.

I MAY HAVE BEEN REMISS

ABOUT SPENDING TIME WITH MY GIRLS,

BUT I CAN'T BE REMISS ABOUT THIS.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

YOU'LL SEE.

WELL, HIS LAWYER SAID IT PRETTY SUCCINCTLY.

MY JOB IS ENDANGERING

THE SAFETY AND WELFARE OF THE CHILDREN?

THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

LAWYERS LIKE TO WRITE THREATENING LETTERS.

DON'T GET UPSET ABOUT IT.

YOU WOULD HAVE MADE YOUR DAD PROUD.

THIS BALL IS FROM OUR LAST GAME.

COULD WE NOT TALK ABOUT FOOTBALL?

OH?

CAN FRANK GET CUSTODY?

I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IT.

EVEN IF WE GO TO COURT,

IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN FOR MONTHS.

COME ON, DON'T WORRY.

EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE.

KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING.

YOU'VE WON THREE FOOTBALL GAMES IN A ROW.

I CAN'T LOSE MY GIRLS.

I'LL WORRY ABOUT THAT.

YOU WORRY ABOUT WINNING GAMES.

YOU CAN SERVE ANYTIME YOU'RE READY.

I'M SORRY.

4:00. MY COURT.

TIME'S UP.

MR. WARMTH.

I HEAR YOUR CENTRAL BOYS

WON THEIR LAST GAME.

MY CENTRAL BOYS WON THEIR LAST THREE GAMES.

WAIT TILL YOU PLAY McKINLEY AND LINCOLN.

WAIT TILL WE PLAY PRESCOTT.

TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT ON OUR SCHEDULE.

ASSUMING YOU MAKE THE ALL-CITY CHAMPIONSHIP, THAT IS.

THAT WAS GOOD, MOLL.

JUST REMEMBER, YOU CAN'T WIN A PISSING CONTEST

FROM A PRICK.

THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT LETTING YOU COACH

WAS LIKE A PRANK.

YOU'RE TOO THICKHEADED TO REALIZE

YOU'RE MAKING SPORTS IN THIS TOWN LOOK STUPID.

SO YOU WON A FEW GAMES.

YOU'RE A LAUGHINGSTOCK.

YOU'RE THE JOKE OF CHICAGO AND DON'T EVEN KNOW IT.

THEY SAY WE'RE A LAUGHINGSTOCK.

THEY SAY WE'RE THE JOKE OF CHICAGO.

DON'T GET MAD. GET EVEN!

YEAH! YEAH!

♪ U-G-L-Y ♪

♪ AND YOU AIN'T GOT NO ALIBI ♪

♪ YOU UGLY ♪

♪ WHAT? WHAT? ♪

♪ YOU UGLY, YOU UGLY ♪

♪ YOU AIN'T HUMAN ♪

♪ YOUR MAMA SAID YOU UGLY ♪

♪ U-G-L-Y ♪

♪ AND YOU AIN'T GOT NO ALIBI ♪

♪ YOU UGLY ♪

♪ WHAT? WHAT? YOU UGLY ♪♪

YO, I THOUGHT YOU SAID OUR DEAL WAS FOR 5.

$6.00 GETS YOU AN ENGLISH PAPER.

SCIENCE PAPERS GOT DIAGRAMS. I GOTTA CHARGE 8.

7, AND YOU CAN CUT IN FRONT OF ME AT LUNCH.

7.50, AND I GET YOUR DESSERT. DEAL.

WILLIAMS. YO.

$8.00.

WHAT IS IT, HISTORY?

HOW ABOUT A NICE WATCH?

A CROCK POT?

CASH.

HOW ABOUT AN ANSWERING MACHINE?

REMOTE.

COMPACT-DISC PLAYER?

HOW DO YOU DO? I'M PHILIP FINCH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HELPING YOUR PLAYERS SATISFY ACADEMIC REQUIREMENTS.

TAKE A WALK, FINCH.

WALKING.

♪ YOUR MAMA SAYS YOU UGLY, HEY! ♪♪

10 SECONDS TO GO.

GET TRUMAINE IN A MAN-TO-MAN.

GO JET, SLOT RIGHT, 84 POST.

HUT!

♪ RAZZLE DAZZLE, I'M LOSIN' TIME ♪

♪ STEPPIN' OUT OR I'LL STEP BEHIND ♪

♪ RAZZLE DAZZLE MAKES US PLAY ♪

♪ RAZZLE DAZZLE IS THE WAY ♪♪

ALL RIGHT! GO!

CERULO, YOU'RE A GENIUS!

MR. RUFF,

YOU GAVE US A RUN FOR OUR MONEY.

YOU DID IT!

WE'RE IN THE PLAY-OFFS!

YOU DID IT! WE'RE NUMBER ONE!

TWO.

I HAVE NO VOICE.

AHH.

[HOARSELY] AHH.

YOU'RE DEFINITELY OFF THE OPERA CIRCUIT

FOR AT LEAST A WEEK.

THAT'S ALL YOU WANT?

HOW ABOUT SOME TAPIOCA PUDDING?

ANYWAY, THANKS FOR MEETING ME.

WE CAN TALK THIS THING OUT.

ALL THIS STUFF WITH LAWYERS...

WHO WANTS IT?

OH, I ACTED RASHLY.

BUT CAN YOU BLAME ME?

I DIDN'T COME TO ARGUE. I CAME TO MAKE PEACE

THROUGH A PLAN I'VE WORKED OUT.

CHATHAM WILL PROVIDE THE STABILITY

THAT OUR GIRLS NEED NOW.

NOW, STEPHANIE WENT THERE.

SHE TURNED OUT PRETTY WELL.

IT'S ON THE CONSERVATIVE SIDE,

BUT IT'S VERY FORWARD-THINKING.

THEY HAVE THIS GREEK PAGEANT

WHERE THE GIRLS WEAR TOGAS

AND READ FROM PLATO, ARISTOTLE, AND SOCRATES.

IT'S VERY EXCITING.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

OH, SHE JUST YAWNED, MRS. CHATHAM.

SHE HAS LARYNGITIS.

ONE OF MY FAVORITES. I LOVE HERACLITUS.

WE CAN GET YOU SOMETHING TO EAT.

HA HA!

DID FRANK MENTION OUR DARING EXPERIMENT

IN OUR PHYSICAL EDUCATION PROGRAM?

NO. I HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO THAT PART YET.

JAZZERCISE.

YOU KNOW--DANCING AND PRANCING TO JAZZ?

YOU CAN CHOOSE THE SELECTIONS,

WITHIN REASON, OF COURSE.

THE GIRLS CAN GO HERE IF YOU TAKE OVER

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION PROGRAM.

What?

I KNOW HOW BUSY YOU'VE BEEN

SO I TOOK THE BURDEN OF FINDING A JOB FOR YOU.

I KNOW THE GUYS ARE GONNA BE UPSET,

BUT BLAME IT ON ME.

I'VE GOT BROAD SHOULDERS.

WHAT DID SHE SAY?

SHE'LL THINK ABOUT IT.

[BELL RINGS]

HEY, ANGELIQUE.

WANT A CERULO MARK ON YOUR LOCKER?

A WHAT?

HE DENTS LOCKERS WITH HIS HEAD.

SHUT UP, FINCH.

MUCHO DENTS ON BOBBY'S LOCKER.

YOU OUGHT TO SEE IT.

I WOULDN'T DO IT.

WELL, I WOULD. WATCH THIS.

GYM LOCKERS ARE MUCH LONGER THAN THESE.

THAT RESULTS IN A LOWER COEFFICIENT OF RIGIDITY.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

ALL YOU'LL GET IS A CONCUSSION.

5 BUCKS.

YOU ARE ON.

THAT'S GOOD.

CERULO, I GOT 5 BUCKS ON YOU.

GO.

GO FOR IT.

RRRGGHHH!

HE'S O.K., MAN.

HE'S GOING DOWN. DOWN.

NO DENT. I WIN.

FINCH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT HAPPENED TO CERULO?

HE LOST TO THE LAWS OF PHYSICS.

GET THE NURSE.

YOU'D BETTER BE ALL RIGHT.

HE OWES ME $5.00.

AND YOU OWE ME ONE PLAYER.

THAT'S LETTING IT ALL HANG OUT!

MAN, HOW DID YOUR FOLKS

LET YOU GET LIKE THIS?

HE PROBABLY ATE HIS FOLKS.

DON'T LET HIM PLAY.

IF WE LOSE, WE'RE OUT OF THE CHAMPIONSHIPS.

AT LAST, THE VOICE OF REASON.

WE NEED SOME SIZE ON THE LINE,

AND FINCH DOES HAVE SIZE.

NO WAY I'LL PLAY,

UNLESS A SUITABLE FEE CAN BE NEGOTIATED.

YOU'RE PARTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR CERULO'S INJURY.

YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY, OR I'LL HAVE YOU SUSPENDED FOR GAMBLING.

HOW ABOUT A SMALL FEE?

LET'S GET OURSELVES INTO THE CHAMPIONSHIP!

LET'S GO!

[PLAYING C HARGE]

CHARGE!

♪ COME ON, WE GOTTA GET ON DOWN ♪

♪ COME ON, WE GOTTA GET ON DOWN ♪

♪ FOOTBALL, GET DOWN! ♪♪

HELLO, THERE.

BUDDY, DON'T MIND ME.

[BIRD] HUT!

IT'S ALL YOURS.

CALL TIME-OUT!

BIRD, TIME-OUT! LET'S GO.

TIME-OUT!

DARN IT, FINCH.

COACH WANTS YOU TO THE SIDELINE, MAN.

YOU GO ON. I'LL WAIT HERE.

COACH, FINCH IS PLAYING

LIKE THE OTHER TEAM IS PAYING HIS FEE.

NEXT PLAY, TRIP HIS FAT CAPITALIST ASS!

[BAND PLAYING]

♪ NA NA NA ♪

♪ NA NA NA ♪♪

O.K., GUYS, LISTEN UP. LISTEN!

WE'RE GOING TO GO RED RIGHT,

SNAKE MOTION, QUARTERBACK DRAW.

ON 2. READY?

BREAK!

PEANUT.

[WHISPERING]

ENJOYING THE GAME?

HUT!

[GUN SOUNDS]

WAY TO GO, FINCH!

WAY TO GO!

WALT!

I'M FLATTERED YOU CAME TO SEE

HIGH-SCHOOL BALL.

I DIDN'T COME FOR THE GAME.

FRANK GOT A LITTLE HOT

ABOUT THAT CHATHAM SCHOOL THING.

HE'S WANGLED A HEARING.

OH, MY GOD, WALT.

DON'T GET ALL UPSET.

I HAVE TO GO TO COURT NOW?

YEAH, UNLESS YOU FEEL LIKE CHANGING YOUR MIND

ABOUT TAKING THAT JOB AT CHATHAM.

PLAYERS HAVE TO MAINTAIN

A "C" AVERAGE FOR ELIGIBILITY.

YEAH. I HAVE GOOD INFORMATION

THAT THESE CENTRAL PLAYERS ARE INELIGIBLE.

DAN, YOU'VE OPENED MY EYES

TO A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM.

I'LL HAVE TO PUNCH THEIR GRADES UP

ON THE COMPUTER.

WE SHOULD BE GETTING OUR COMPUTERS

IN, SAY, TWO YEARS?

I'D HEARD YOU WERE A STICKLER FOR RULES.

FRANKLY, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHETHER YOUR TEAM'S LEGAL

'CAUSE MY PRESCOTT BOYS ARE GOING TO REAM YOUR ASS.

I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO TAKE ACTION

AS A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

THAT JACKET.

THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL JACKET,

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING MISSING.

WHAT?

AN I.D. BADGE.

NOBODY'S ALLOWED HERE WITHOUT ONE.

SINCE YOU DON'T HAVE ONE,

I GUESS THAT MEANS THAT YOU'RE NOT HERE.

'CAUSE IF YOU WERE HERE,

I'D HAVE TO HAVE YOU ARRESTED.

I AM A STICKLER FOR THE RULES.

YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE THIS?

RIGHT.

♪ SUNDAY IN THE SNOW ♪

♪ REFEREE'S WHISTLE BLOWS ♪

♪ WEEKEND WARRIORS TOE-TO-TOE ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ NOW, EVERYBODY ♪

♪ JUST THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR ♪

♪ AND WAVE 'EM LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE ♪

♪ AND IF YOU LIKE FOOTBALL THE WAY I DO ♪

♪ EVERYBODY SAY, "OH, YEAH!" ♪♪

FRANK HAS NO CASE.

WHAT'S HE GOING TO SAY?

"MY EX-WIFE SHOULDN'T TEACH IN THE GHETTO"?

WHEN YOU GO TO COURT, YOU TAKE A RISK.

I CAN'T RISK LOSING MY GIRLS!

THEN QUIT YOUR JOB. TEACH AT CHATHAM.

YOU'RE RIGHT ON COURSE, COACH.

YOU THINK I SHOULD?

I THINK YOU'VE DECIDED TO QUIT.

IF YOU HAVE, TELL THEM.

GOOD GAME TODAY, COACH.

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T,

THEY'LL SEE IT IN YOUR FACE.

[MICROPHONE SQUEALS]

WE GATHER TONIGHT

TO CELEBRATE THE IMPENDING AND INEVITABLE

ALL-CITY CHAMPIONSHIP,

WHICH WILL BE WON BY PRESCOTT HIGH SCHOOL.

NO! BOO!

JUST A SECOND.

THIS ISN'T SCHOOL SPIRIT I'M HEARING, IS IT?

YEAH! YEAH!

IF THIS IS SCHOOL SPIRIT,

I MUST BE IN THE WRONG PLACE.

I THOUGHT I WAS AT CENTRAL.

HA HA! HA HA!

I MUST BE DREAMING.

BUT I'LL TAKE FULL CREDIT FOR THIS CHANGE,

BECAUSE IT WAS I, I ALONE,

WITH NO HELP FROM ANYONE ELSE,

WHO HIRED COACH MOLLY McGRATH.

YAY!

WHOSE TEAM, I MIGHT HASTEN TO ADD,

WILL BE WEARING NEW JERSEYS,

THANKS TO THOSE OF YOU

WHO BOUGHT THE LAST OF THE PEANUT BRITTLE.

LET'S GET HER UP HERE, HUH?

MAKE A PATH FOR COACH McGRATH!

MAKE A PATH FOR COACH McGRATH!

MAKE A PATH FOR COACH McGRATH!

YAY!

[WOLF WHISTLE]

I FEEL SO LUCKY

TO HAVE BEEN ABLE TO COACH

SUCH A FINE FOOTBALL TEAM.

YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT WHEN SCHOOL OPENED.

WE GOT OFF TO A SLOW START...

BECAUSE WE'RE A BUNCH OF FUCK-UPS!

WELL, WE'RE HAVING A GREAT SEASON THIS YEAR.

NEXT YEAR, WE GO UNDEFEATED.

YEAH. YEAH.

WELL, LET'S TAKE ONE SEASON AT A TIME, O.K.?

UM, I...

YOU'RE A GREAT BUNCH OF GUYS.

SO THANKS, AND--

YOU HAVEN'T TALKED LONG ENOUGH.

BIRD, DON'T GIVE ME A HARD TIME, OK?

ACCORDING TO THIS WATCH,

YOU'VE ONLY TALKED ONE MINUTE

32 AND 15/100 OF A SECOND.

WHY DID YOU TAKE IT OUT OF THE BOX?

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S A NEW CAR. WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?

READ THE BACK.

"COACH...

"WE OWE YOU.

LOVE, FROM YOUR PUSSIES."

HA HA! HA HA!

SPEECH! SPEECH!

SPEECH.

I WANT TO SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU

ON THAT FIELD AGAINST PRESCOTT

'CAUSE WE'RE GOING TO KICK SOME ASS!

YEAH!

♪ RAZZLE DAZZLE IS THE WAY... ♪

HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENIN' HERE?

I'M A LITTLE WASTED ON PUNCH.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, I'M FINE.

IF YOUR MOTHER SEES YOU LIKE THIS,

SHE'S GONNA TURN YOUR ASS THE SAME COLOR AS YOUR HAIR.

TIME FOR YOU TO GO.

I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE PARTY.

OH, MARVA! TRUMAINE!

♪ RAZZLE DAZZLE MUSIC PLAY ♪

♪ RAZZLE DAZZLE MUSIC PLAY ♪

MY UNCLE ALWAYS LETS ME DRIVE HIS CAR.

WHY DID YOU HOT-WIRE IT?

WHERE'S ALICE?

SHE WAS AROUND SOMEWHERE.

COACH, HOW ABOUT A RIDE?

WHERE'S ALICE?

TRUMAINE TOOK HER HOME.

TRUMAINE?

VERNA!

IT'S NOT MY BEDTIME.

MOM USUALLY LETS ME STAY UP

TILL 1:00 OR 2:00 OR 3:00.

WE'LL HANG AROUND UNTIL COACH GETS HERE, O.K.?

HELLO, STEPHANIE, YOU STICK,

I WANT TO TELL DAD WHAT I THINK ABOUT CHATHAM.

FRANK, SLOW DOWN.

HONEY, YOU'RE GOING TO GET A TICKET!

STATE LAW REQUIRES SEAT BELTS IN THE FRONT AND THE REAR.

SHUT UP.

YEAH, HONEY!

MOLLY!

OH, SH--

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

ONE OF US SHOULD BE HERE

WHEN OUR DAUGHTER IS DRUNK AND ALONE.

THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS BAD AS THEY SEEM.

AND THEN AGAIN, SOMETIMES THEY'RE EVEN WORSE.

HI.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

WHAT IS GOING ON?

WELL, WE TOOK ALICE HOME,

AND WE WERE JUST WATCHING TV

TILL YOU GUYS GOT BACK.

SHE'S UPSTAIRS SLEEPING.

HONEY?

HEY, HOME GIRL, WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?

THIS WON'T BE HAPPENING AT CHATHAM.

SEND ME TO CHATHAM, AND I'LL DYE MY FACE PURPLE.

I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH THIS ANYMORE.

OUTSIDE. I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.

THAT'S A JOKE.

ALICE IS PASSED OUT, YOU'RE OUT PARTYING,

AND THEY'RE MAKING OUT ON YOUR SOFA.

NOT WHEN YOU CAME IN, WE WEREN'T.

TRUMAINE AND MARVA,

WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME NOW?

YOU'RE SURE?

YEAH, TAKE OFF.

MOLLY, I'M GETTING CUSTODY OF THE GIRLS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DRIVE ME HOME, COACH.

YOU'VE LOST TOUCH WITH REALITY.

YOU CAN PAY FOR A CAB.

YOU'VE LOST CONTROL OF WHAT GOES ON HERE!

20 BUCKS SHOULD DO IT.

FINCH!

YOU'VE GOT GUTS GALORE,

THREATENING ME WITH LOSING CUSTODY, FRANK.

I TOOK CARE OF MARIAN WHEN SHE HAD THE CROUP.

I COMFORTED ALICE WHEN SHE HAD NIGHTMARES

FOR SIX MONTHS AFTER YOU LEFT!

DON'T TELL ME ABOUT REALITY!

I'M SUBMERGED UP TO HERE IN REALITY!

WOULD YOU JUST STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC?

I SHOULD PUNCH YOUR FACE.

I'LL DO IT FOR 10 BUCKS.

KEEP YOUR FAT ASS OUT OF THIS!

FRANK!

NO CHARGE.

MOMMY, I CAN FEEL THE ROTATION OF THE EARTH.

YOU'RE PLASTERED, ALICE.

JUST GET THIS OVER WITH.

WALT, SHOULDN'T WE BE WHISPERING, TOO?

WE'RE ON OUR OWN 10-YARD LINE.

WE MAY HAVE TO PUNT, MOLLY.

OH, DON'T USE FOOTBALL ANALOGIES NOW.

TALK LIKE A LAWYER, O.K.?

THE MOST SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS

ARE THAT YOUR OLDER DAUGHTER ALICE

WAS INJURED IN A FIGHT,

WHICH OCCURRED DURING A PARTY HELD AT YOUR HOME

ON THE NIGHT OF SEPTEMBER 30th,

AND THAT MINORS WERE SEEN THERE DRINKING BEER,

AND THAT YOUR OLDER DAUGHTER BECAME INTOXICATED

AT ANOTHER PARTY ATTENDED BY YOU,

AND WAS THEN DRIVEN HOME BY A COUPLE

WHOM YOUR EX-HUSBAND SAW HAVING INTERCOURSE

IN YOUR LIVING ROOM.

THE WAY THEY MAKE IT SOUND,

I'D RULE AGAINST ME.

THE OPERA ISN'T OVER UNTIL THE FAT LADY SINGS.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

WOULD MISS McGRATH CARE TO MAKE A STATEMENT

BEFORE I RULE ON THIS PETITION?

SHE WOULD, YOUR HONOR.

JUST DRIVE STRAIGHT UP THE MIDDLE.

YOUR HONOR, ALICE AND MARIAN

ARE MORE VALUABLE TO ME THAN ANYTHING.

I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH.

YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR CHILDREN IS NOT AT ISSUE HERE.

HE SAYS I'M NOT GOOD FOR MY OWN CHILDREN!

MR. NEEDHAM MERELY CLAIMS

THAT MISS McGRATH'S COACHING JOB

JEOPARDIZES THE WELL-BEING OF HIS DAUGHTERS.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

HE ARRANGED FOR A JOB FOR MISS McGRATH

AT A VERY FINE SCHOOL.

SHE REJECTED IT WITH A PROFANITY.

NOW, WAIT JUST A SECOND.

HE TRIED TO TRICK ME INTO QUITTING

THE ONE THING THAT I TOOK PRIDE IN DOING,

IN ORDER TO TEACH JAZZERCISE

TO A BUNCH OF OVERPRIVILEGED GIRLS,

SO I CALLED HIM A MOTHERFUCKER.

WHICH IS LINGUISTICALLY CORRECT

BECAUSE I... I'M A MOTHER...

AND HE USED TO...

YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO BREAK TESTIMONY NOW

AND INTRODUCE INTO THE RECORD

SOME CHARACTER WITNESS TESTIMONY.

IF IT'S RELEVANT, I WILL HEAR THE WITNESS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT'S THE FOOTBALL TEAM.

ARE YOU ALL CHARACTER WITNESSES?

WE PROMISE TO TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH,

AND THAT'S NO LIE, YOUR HONOR.

SEE, YOUR HONOR,

IT'S WRONG TO TAKE THE KIDS AWAY FROM COACH.

I WISH I HAD A MOTHER LIKE HER.

YOU WISH YOU HAD A MOTHER.

THIS IS SERIOUS. CHILL, MAN.

MAY I APPROACH THE BENCH?

YES.

THE POINT IS,

EVER SINCE I'VE BEEN PLAYIN' FOOTBALL FOR HER,

I'VE BEEN TOTALLY STRAIGHT.

IF WE FUC-- IF WE FOULED UP,

WE WERE OFF THE TEAM.

ANY WOOL GOOD-LOOKIN' AS YOURSELF

SHOULDN'T BE WASTIN' HER TIME.

WE CAN WORK THIS OUT.

DON'T YOU GOT A CHAMBER AROUND HERE

WHERE WE CAN GO AND--

I DON'T SEE WHERE THIS TESTIMONY IS RELEVANT.

IT'S RELEVANT RIGHT FUCKING HERE.

ORDER! ORDER!

YOU SUCKERS THINK YOU'RE BAD?

KEEP IT UP, AND I'LL HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT!

NOW, SIT DOWN, TURKEYS!

SEE WHAT YOU DID, MAN?

IF MISS McGRATH PERSISTS

IN ASSOCIATING WITH THIS TEAM,

THEN PETITIONER MUST REQUEST

NOT ONLY IMMEDIATE CUSTODY,

BUT THAT SHE FORFEIT VISITATION PRIVILEGES

DURING THE FOOTBALL SEASON

AND THAT THE CHILDREN BE ENJOINED

FROM ATTENDING GAMES AT ANY TIME.

WAIT, WAIT, STOP.

ALL RIGHT, FRANK, YOU WIN.

NEXT SEMESTER, I QUIT COACHING,

AND I TEACH AT CHATHAM.

NOW CALL THIS THING OFF, OK?

TAKE IT QUICK.

YOU JUMPED OUT OF BOUNDS.

SHUT UP.

I CAN'T RISK LOSING MY GIRLS.

THE PLAINTIFF ACCEPTS RESPONDENT'S OFFER.

MS. McGRATH, ARE YOU SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT?

YES.

MAY I LEAVE NOW?

THIS HEARING IS CLOSED.

NOT TOO SHABBY, HUH?

YEAH.

CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB.

MOLLY?

I'LL BRING THE GIRLS TO THE GAME.

O.K.?

MS. McGRATH?

GOOD LUCK TOMORROW.

THANKS.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

I LOOKED ALL OVER FOR YOU GUYS.

♪ COME ON, NOW, GET ON DOWN ♪

♪ GET DOWN ♪

♪ TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT ♪♪

YES!

DAMN!

HUT!

KNOCK HIS DICK IN THE DIRT!

COACH COOZE AND HER VELVET PUSSIES.

HA HA HA HA!

I'M A FUNNY GUY.

GRRR!

GRRR!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

HUT!

GET IN THERE.

HIKE!

BUBBLE HIS SNOUT!

YEAH! ALL RIGHT!

AW, COME ON!

YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. GET UP.

PEANUT?

THE KIDS GET HURT 'CAUSE THEY'RE TRAINED FOR GIRLS' TRACK,

NOT FOOTBALL.

EAT SHIT AND DIE!

HA HA HA!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

IF I DON'T HAVE TO MOVE.

WE'RE TWO TDs BEHIND.

WE CAN GET THEM BACK.

BIRD, TRUMAINE WAS OPEN.

I COULDN'T SEE HIM FROM UNDER THE PILE.

YOU SAYIN' SOMETHING ABOUT MY BLOCKING?

THAT WHAT YOU CALL IT?

AW, SHUT UP.

IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT.

THEY'RE CHAMPIONS, AND WE'RE DILDOS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? QUIT?

WHY NOT?

IT WORKED FOR YOU.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

YOU DIDN'T EXECUTE MY PLAYS.

OH, I SEE. THIS IS ABOUT YESTERDAY.

GREAT.

I SUPPOSE YOU THINK I WAS CHICKENSHIT

FOR WHAT I DID IN COURT, HUH?

YOU THINK I GOT BEAT

BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID TO FIGHT.

YEAH, YOU DO.

YOU FIGURE IF YOUR COACH IS SUCH A LOSER,

THEN YOU CAN BE, TOO.

DOESN'T IT?

HEY, COACH.

COACH, WHERE YOU GOIN'?

FRANK!

THE DEAL'S OFF.

YOU'RE NOT SENDING OUR GIRLS TO SOME STUPID SCHOOL,

AND YOU'RE NOT TAKING THEM AWAY FROM ME!

YEAH!

AND I'M NOT QUITTING MY JOB HERE, EITHER.

IF THAT'S NOT O.K. WITH YOU, SUE ME,

AND I'LL FIGHT YOU ALL THE WAY TO THE SUPREME COURT.

DON'T MAKE HER GIVE UP THE KIDS, FRANK.

YEAH, YOU WORM!

STAY OUT OF THIS!

FRANK, I DON'T WANT TO BE A QUITTER ANYMORE.

I DON'T WANT OUR GIRLS TO SEE A QUITTER.

FOR THEM...

NOT FOR ME.

O.K.

WE'LL WORK IT OUT.

WE'LL WORK IT OUT?

WE'LL WORK IT OUT!

ONE MORE CONDITION.

SECOND HALF, YOU GOT TO CHEER.

OH, GOD. SUPREME COURT!

O.K. YOU TAKE THEM FOR THE SECOND HALF.

COME ON, BENCH WARMERS!

ALL RIGHT! YEAH!

HEY, LADY, YOU OUR COACH?

YEAH.

TELL US WHAT TO DO.

WIN, YOU TURKEYS!

HUT!

ALL RIGHT!

ALL RIGHT!

ALL RIGHT!

YOU ACT LIKE AN OLD WOMAN!

HUT!

HUT!

YOU GUYS ARE PITIFUL! YOU'RE MORONS!

TURN IT OUT. LET'S GO!

LINE UP FAST!

SET!

GET A HIT!

GO! GO!

YEAH!

THIS IS GETTING TO BE A REALLY GOOD GAME.

GREAT, GUYS! I LOVE YOU.

ALONZO, YOU MAKE THIS POINT,

ALL THE GIRLS WILL WANT YOU.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

TURN IT OUT!

USE THOSE CLEATS! MAIM 'EM!

GOOD KICK!

I HATE FOOTBALL!

HUT!

NO PROBLEM.

HUT!

GOOD HANDS!

COME ON!

ALL RIGHT!

BEAUTIFUL!

BEAUTIFUL!

WAY TO GO, CENTRAL! ALL RIGHT!

YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TO CHEER.

THIS IS A GREAT GAME.

BLOCK FOR THE GUY!

WILL YOU BLOCK FOR THE GUY? OH!

EXCUSE ME, COACH.

GET THIS GUY OUT OF HERE.

I'M NOT WITH THEM.

I WON'T PLAY WITHOUT PAY.

PAY?

RIGHT. CONSIDER ME NEUTRAL.

GET RID OF THIS GUY.

YOU WANT SOME ADVICE?

YOU'RE BEING HUMILIATED OUT THERE. YOU SHOULD GIVE UP.

GET OUT OF MY FACE, YOU FAT FUCK!

COME ON, GIRLS! COME ON!

COVER TWO, PEANUT!

I WANT TO PLAY.

NOT NOW, FINCH.

PUT A HAT ON SOMEBODY!

I WANT TO PLAY.

YEAH, ALL RIGHT! WATCH THE SCREEN!

HEY, DAWSON, SLIDE DOWN!

HERE'S 10 BUCKS. PUT ME IN.

DAN, TAKE A LOOK.

McGRATH.

$15?

FINCH, PUT YOUR MONEY AWAY!

HA HA!

DEFENSE! DEFENSE!

COME ON, WALT!

IF PRESCOTT KICKS A FIELD GOAL,

YELLING WON'T HELP.

TIME!

YOU MISS THIS KICK, YOU'LL BE RUNNING LAPS FOR LIFE.

HEY, IT'S NOT OVER TILL THE GUN SOUNDS!

DEFENSE! DEFENSE!

FINCH. FINCH?

GET YOUR BODY

BETWEEN THE BALL AND THE GOAL POST.

HERE'S THE $15 I OWE YOU.

GET OUT THERE!

SHE'S PUTTING THAT FAT GUY IN.

♪ KEEP THAT SUPER SPIRIT UP ♪

♪ WHOO! YOU GONNA STOMP TONIGHT ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪♪

GRRR!

I LOVE MY GUYS.

A FINELY TRAINED KILLING MACHINE.

HUT!

OH, MY GOD!

NO!

GO, BABY!

RUN, BIRD!

WE DID IT, BABY! ALL RIGHT!

THAT BLACK GUY GOT PAID!

I PROTEST!

GOOD GAME, MAN.

THIS IS NOT OVER.

THAT GUY GOT PAID!

GOOD GAME, DAN.

SHE PAID HIM!

ARE YOU CRAZY?

SEARCH HIM! SEARCH HIS POCKETS!

A FOOTBALL UNIFORM DOESN'T HAVE POCKETS.

IT'S IN HIS JOCK!

OH, MY GOD.

SEARCH HIS JOCK!

NO WAY.

YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM.

I'M A SENIOR. NO PROBLEM.

I'LL DO IT MYSELF!

IF YOU'RE SEARCHING HIS JOCK,

I'D RATHER YOU'D SHAKE MY HAND FIRST.

IT'S IN HERE SOMEWHERE! I SAW IT!

LET ME DOWN, PEA-BRAIN!

FINCH, PUT HIM DOWN.

NOT UNTIL HE SHAKES YOUR HAND LIKE A GENTLEMAN.

I'LL NEVER SHAKE HER HAND!

HE DOESN'T HAVE TO SHAKE MY HAND. IT'S O.K.

BE A HAND SHAKER OR A SHOT PUT.

O.K., O.K., O.K.!

THANKS, DAN.

PUT HIM DOWN NOW.

ALL THE WAY DOWN!

AAH! AAH! AAH!

COME ON, COACH, IT'S PARTY TIME.

NOT AT MY HOUSE!

♪ WILDCATS ♪

♪ I SAY THEY CALL ME TRUMAINE ♪

♪ THE EBONY LOVER ♪

♪ I VALIDATE THE THEORY ♪

♪ WHEN I'M UNDER THE COVER ♪

♪ IT'S THE SPORT OF KINGS ♪

♪ BETTER THAN DIAMOND RINGS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ MY NAME'S CERULO, I'M A REAL BAD DUDE ♪

♪ MAKIN' SOUNDS AND NOISES ♪

♪ THAT ARE CERTAINLY RUDE ♪

♪ BUT WHEN WE'RE ON THE FIELD ♪

♪ MY NOISES ARE AN ART ♪

♪ LIKE A BURP OR AN OINK ♪

♪ OR A PLAIN OLD FART ♪

♪ IT'S THE SPORT OF KINGS ♪

♪ BETTER THAN DIAMOND RINGS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ I WAS THE LEADER OF THE TEAM ♪

♪ FOR ABOUT A WEEK ♪

♪ AND MY SPECIALTY WAS ♪

♪ THE QUARTERBACK SNEAK ♪

♪ I WAS SACKED AND ATTACKED ♪

♪ MY BAGS WERE PACKED ♪

♪ WHEN I GOT THE WORD ♪

♪ IN THE FORM OF A BIRD ♪

♪ IT'S THE SPORT OF KINGS ♪

♪ BETTER THAN DIAMOND RINGS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ WE ONCE WERE A TEAM ♪

♪ THAT NEVER COULD MESH ♪

♪ BUT NOW WE'RE SOMETHIN'

♪ FRESHER THAN FRESH ♪

♪ I THINK WE'RE JAMMIN' ♪

♪ AND THAT'S A FACT ♪

♪ EVERYBODY SAY WILDCAT ♪

♪ WILDCAT ♪

♪ WILDCAT ♪

♪ WILDCAT ♪

♪ WILDCAT ♪

♪ IT'S THE SPORT OF KINGS ♪

♪ BETTER THAN DIAMOND RINGS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ MOLLY'S LITTLE GIRLS AND NO OTHER SUCKER ♪

♪ MADE A BANNER THAT WAS A BAD MOTHER-- ♪

♪ DON'T CUSS ♪

♪ NOT US ♪

♪ IT'S THE SPORT OF KINGS ♪

♪ BETTER THAN DIAMOND RINGS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ HA HA HA ♪

♪ MY NAME IS FINCH ♪

♪ AND AS YOU KNOW ♪

♪ I USED TO SIT ON THE BENCH ♪

♪ MONEY, FOOD ARE NECESSITIES OF LIFE ♪

♪ THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT KEEP ME NICE ♪

♪ BUT WHEN I DON'T GET 'EM ♪

♪ I GO BERSERK ♪

♪ AND ACT JUST LIKE ♪

♪ A 400-POUND JERK ♪

♪ HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH ♪

♪ BEAT THIS OUT AS SOON AS YOU CAN ♪

♪ WE'RE KICKIN' IT, KICKIN' IT ♪

♪ AROUND, MY MAN ♪

♪ IT'S THE SPORT OF KINGS ♪

♪ BETTER THAN DIAMOND RINGS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ WILDCATS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ WILDCATS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ WILDCATS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ WILDCATS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ WILDCATS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ WILDCATS ♪

♪ FOOTBALL ♪

♪ HUH HUH HUH ♪

♪ WOO WOO WOO! ♪♪

HA HA HA HA HA!