All language subtitles for The.Fuller.Brush.Girl.1950

Oh, no!

Oh, good morning, Miss Elliot.

Only one left?

Yes this one.
The one you've looked at so often.

Oh gee, I guess that's all
I'll ever be able to do is look at it.

I've been kinda saving this one for you,
knowing how much you wanted it.

But now that all the others are sold,
well, this one will probably go today.

Well you've done swell Mr.
Deval. Humphrey and I...

- Hi Sally.
- Hi.

I thought I'd find you here.

For the last time, Humphrey.

- Did you sell our house?
- There's a young couple interested in it.

They're coming back today.
Why don't you two take it?

You've got the down payment.

Yeah, but we don't make enough
to keep up the monthly payments.

Even with both of us working.

Come on, we'd better go,
we'll be late.

Yeah.

- Gee, I can just see you...
- Yeah, I'm right here.

No, I mean I always saw you carrying me
over that threshold after we married.

I probably would have stumbled.
I usually do.

Oh, don't be discouraged.

Something will turn up.
You're intelligent.

It only took you a year to finish
that correspondence course.

Yeah, but that was
a six months' course.

Well, I don't care. You'll get
a raise soon I know it.

And then we can be married.

Can't we?

I think you better.

Good morning,
Maritime Steamship.

Our cargo supervisor?

Yes, that's Mr. Roberts.
Hold on I'll connect you.

Oh, Mr. Roberts, there's a call
for you. Panama Import Company.

- Let the new cargo supervisor take it!
- New cargo supervisor?

- Old man Simpson just fired me.
- Fired you? What for?

That's what I'd like to know.

- Humphrey.
- Hm?

Come here.

- Mr. Simpson fired Mr. Roberts.
- He did?

Yeah. Humphrey, put those
papers down right away.

- What?
- I gotta file these.

- You're all through filing.
- I haven't started yet.

You're not going to. You're going in
there and tell Mr. Simpson that you're

- the new cargo supervisor.
- Me?

I couldn't do that.

Why not, you know
all about shipments?

- This is the job you always wanted.
- Well you know Mr. Simpson

doesn't like me.
He's always yelling at me.

Well, yell right back at him.

You tell him you want that job. Listen,
it pays $15 a week more, that's...

- Why that's $60 a month more.
- We can have our house.

Oh, Humphrey, this is our big chance.
Now you go in and see Simpson before

he hires someone else.

- Mr. Simpson wouldn't give me the...
- You don't know until you try.

Go ahead.

Maritime Steamship Company.

Just a moment please...
Hold it please.

Yes? Well put him on. Hello, Rocky.

How's it going?

Well, I just fired Roberts,
we gotta get someone to check

that shipment tomorrow night.

Who's the pigeon?

I don't know yet. It's gotta be
someone who's stupid enough

not to know what's going on.
Wait a minute.

- What do you want?
- Well sir, I... uh, I...

Go on, get outta here, stupid!

Stupid. I'll call
you right back.

- What did he say?
- Oh, is he mad.

- Really?
- Briggs! You wanted to see me, Briggs?

I mean Humphrey.

Who me? No sir.

You come right in, my
boy, you come right in.

- Don't disturb us.
- No, sir.

What did you want to
see me about? Step right in.

Good morning,
Maritime Steamship.

Mr. Simpson? Oh, I'm sorry, I
can't disturb him now,

he's in the middle of a big
conference.

Yes.

- Sally! I got it. I got it.
- Oh! Maritime Steamship Company.

Hold it a moment please.

I knew you would if you
just demanded your right.

That's what I did. I said to
him, I said...

Matter of fact I just said
hello and he gave me the job.

I'll call Mr. Deval and
tell him to hold our house.

No, I'll go over.

I'll go to the bank and draw out
our money, then I'll sign the papers

and when I come back,
the house will be ours, all ours!

- Good-bye.
- Bye.

All ours!

Oh, I'm sorry. Hello!
Goodbye!

"Oh, I'm sorry, hello, goodbye"?

What a boyfriend.

Oh, Humphrey's a little
excited, and so am I.

- We're buying our house.
- Oh, you finally made it!

- Yeah.
- Perchance I hear wedding bells?

Well, it's about time, we've had
the license for three years.

Oh it's a lucky thing I dropped in.

I'm gonna make you the
prettiest bride in town.

- What you got in there?
- I'm a Fuller Brush girl now.

Been selling for about a month.

- Oh, brushes?
- No, Fuller Brush girls sell cosmetics.

Here, I have a lipstick
I want you to try.

Oh, what a beautiful shade.

And if you're interested in a
real good cold cream, this is it.

And then after your bath you
dust yourself with this.

Oh what nice texture.

- Oh, fine.
- Good, huh?

A line? Yes, Mr. Simpson.

- I'll take two jars of cold cream, Jane.
- Two jars.

Rocky. Everything is all set,
I found a pigeon.

You sure he won't tumble?

There's not a chance.
He'll be cargo supervisor

tomorrow night and I'll fire
him the day after.

How about your wife?

She might get suspicious of you
having business at midnight.

That's all taken care of too.
I talked her into a little vacation.

She's leaving tonight.

Yes, Mr. Martin?

The Superior Export Company?

I'll look up the number and
call you back. Yes, I will.

Oh!

Sally! Where are ya?

Good Maritime,
Morning Steamship Company.

Hold him, I'll get him.
I mean, get him, I'll hold him.

Oh, that thing's gonna explode.
Get out of there, Sally!

Oh, water! Water!
Somebody get water!

What's going on here?

Oh no! What are you doing?

- Oh, excuse me...
- Call the fire department!

Yes, water, water.

Well, don't stand there, why
doesn't somebody do something?

- Well that put the fire out.
- And that's right where you're going. Out!

I can explain, Mr. Simpson,
it was just an ah, ah, ah, ah, ah-choo!

Come on, Jane, I'm quitting.

Stop that girl!

Oh no!

Oh no. No.

There's the bus,
let's get outta here.

Spread your germs
in the back of the bus.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Thanks.

Sorry.

Fairview Hills. Yes?
Oh, Miss Elliot.

Mr. Deval, when Mr. Briggs gets
there tell him that... What?

I said he's already been here,
Miss Elliot.

Your $500 down payment
is already in escrow.

You'll be able to move into
your new house within a week.

By then I suppose your name
will be Mrs. Briggs!

My name will be mud,
Mr. Deval.

Can't you see Jane,
all the money we saved is in escrow.

We'll lose it unless we keep

up the monthly payments on the house.
I gotta get a job right away.

Well, I don't know about a job,

but if you're interested
in a position like mine...

Me, a Fuller Brush girl?
Jane, I couldn't sell anything.

That's what I used to think,
but these cosmetics sell themselves.

- I average 80 a week.
- 80? You mean dollars?

- Good for food and house payments.
- Gee. I got an idea

I'd make a great Fuller Brush girl.
Come on!

You understand, Miss Elliot,

that Fuller Brush girls are
in business for themselves.

- Yes, sir.
- We merely act as distributing stations.

However, we're extremely careful whom
we franchise and assign territories to.

Surely.

We check all applicants,
look over their references.

- References?
- From your last employment.

Oh yes, I left in such a hurry
I forgot to get mine.

Didn't I, Jane?

Well, I'll call them.
What's the number?

Oh, you'll call him?

Oh yes, call him right away.
Maritime Steamship Company.

Oh yes, I know Harvey Simpson.
He's a good friend of mine.

Oh, you do? Mine too. You call
him right away. Dumont 7-2161.

Well, Miss Elliot, I'm glad to see
you're a woman who doesn't waste time.

Oh, well I can move pretty
fast when I have to.

- What number are you calling?
- Dumont 7-2161.

There seems to be some trouble on
that line, sir. They don't answer.

- They don't answer.
- Oh, that's all right, Mr. Christy.

You just give me a bag and
I'll start selling right away.

Oh, now you're going too fast
even for me, Miss Elliot.

This is Friday. Suppose we
wait until Monday.

By then I'll have spoken
to Mr. Simpson.

- All right.
- I notice you're wearing our powder.

I can smell the fragrance.

Oh, I love it. Sometimes
I just dump it all over myself.

- Well, see you Monday, Mr. Christy.
- Bye. Thank you, Mr. Christy.

- Harvey.
- Yes, dear.

Hurry, dear, I haven't much
time to catch the train.

I'll be right with you.

I wish you could come up to
the lodge with me, Popsy.

So do I, it will be
lonesome here.

Maybe I shouldn't have sent
the servants up ahead.

Oh nonsense,

- I'll make out all right.
- All right, dear.

You're so thoughtful, Harvey,
insisting I take a little vacation.

I just thought it would
do you good, dear.

And do you some good also.
Lovely odor.

What do you mean?

How long did you have to
hold her to get your coat

- smelling like this?
- Oh that?

Oh that!

Couldn't wait until I was gone before
you started it, could you? Who is she?

Claire, you're mistaken.

I can explain that.
One of my employees,

the switchboard girl, sneezed
some powder on me.

Ha! You can do better than
that. This is the end, Harvey.

- You've done this once too often.
- Now Claire.

You're going on a little vacation!

While you're there,
see if you can find yourself

another wealthy wife who will turn
over her shipping business to you.

Claire, Claire, I'll get the
girl to tell you herself.

- Uh oh. I fired her.
- You fired her? How convenient.

I know. Briggs, he's engaged to her.
He'll know where she is.

I'll call him right now.

And this will all be
straightened out, my dear.

It better be.

Briggs...

Humphrey, all you have to do is ask
Mr. Simpson to give me a good reference.

Yeah, so it's very easy.

Well, he'll listen to you.
He made you cargo supervisor didn't he?

Hello.

- Oh, hello, Mr. Simpson.
- Ask him, ask him now.

Yes, Mr. Simpson.

I want you to get hold
of that idiotic Elliot girl.

Oh, you want to give Sally
her job back?

I should say not!

I just want to see her.

Yes, Mr. Simpson, but I'm not sure
I know where she is.

You know how women are.

Well if you can't find her
tonight you have her at the

- office at 8:30 in the morning.
- 8:30? Yes, sir.

What?

He must want you to pay
for that switchboard.

- You gotta be there at 8:30.
- 8:30?

I almost forgot I've gotta
meet Mary Lou and Dorothy.

We're going to the beach for the weekend.
Now look, Sally, all you have to do

is get a good recommendation
from Mr. Simpson

and you can be a Fuller Brush girl.

Oh, I know, I'll leave my bag with you.
Take it home, study the booklet and

- get familiar with the product.
- I will.

- See you Monday.
- Bye.

Bye Humphrey.

Bye. Get familiar with the product?
What for?

Sally, I can't ask Mr. Simpson

for a reference for you, he'd
probably fire me just for asking.

Humphrey, I'll bet if I was an experienced
Fuller Brush cosmetic dealer,

Mr. Christy wouldn't care whether
I had good references or not.

And I'll bet he would care.
And besides you don't have any experience,

you never sold anything in
your life.

Well, I'm about to sell you
an idea.

- Hey, where you going?
- Home. Bye!

This is Jane's territory here.

Are you sure you can sell
cosmetics?

I can if my feet hold out.

Oh, yeah. Hey, you take the car,
I'll catch a bus to the office.

You don't mind?

No, no, no, no.
But I gotta hurry.

It wouldn't be good
if both of us got fired.

All right, I'll see you later,
and you can help

me carry the order blanks.

- Good morning, is your wife at home?
- Yes, she's in the kitchen.

Well, I'm Sally Elliot, your
Fuller Brush girl.

Oh, I'm Red Skelton,
your Fuller Brush man.

Won't you come in?

Miss Elliot, thanks for dropping by.
That's the easiest sale I've ever made.

Good day.

Oh, how do you do?
I'm your Fuller Brush girl.

Well, isn't that dandy.

- Won't you come in?
- Oh, thank you.

I know just how it is selling
from door to door.

Three afternoons I earn some extra
money myself doing the same thing.

Oh, really, well I'm sure
you've heard of Debutante cosmetics.

Heard of them? There's a whole article
in Glitter Magazine about them.

- Have you read it?
- Oh no I haven't.

You haven't? My dear,
there's a full page, see.

Oh, how beautiful!

And lots of other articles:
how to improve your personality,

health hints, figure control.

Oh yeah, scads of pictures.

I can't understand a
business girl like yourself

doing without Glitter Magazine.
It's a must, dear, simply a must!

I like it very much.

You'll just love it,
now the subscription's

only ten dollars a year, six months
for five dollars, a 50 percent saving.

- This lipstick...
- What's your name, dear?

- Sally Elliot.
- One 'L'?

- No, two.
- You live near here?

No, I live in town, on 48th Street, 622.
This is my first day selling out here.

- Oh, how wonderful!
- Aren't they beautiful?

You have just $5 even!
I hate making change, don't you?

Uh...

Now, here's your receipt, Miss
Elliot. Thank you very much.

You'll receive your first issue
within a month. Don't worry,

I'll put it in the mail immediately.
Now I hate to rush you like that, but

you know, I've got so much to do.
I have a very, very busy day.

- Now this lipstick has...
- Thank you so much, Miss Elliot. Goodbye.

Thank you!

Is the lady of the house in?
I'm selling magazines.

You're selling? Ha!

I know it's late.

But I can't leave the children,
my regular babysitter couldn't make it.

Besides, she couldn't stand
the children anymore.

Meryl promised to send her babysitter
over but she hasn't arrived yet.

Wait, there's someone
at the door. It must be her.

- Good morning, I'm...
- Yes, I know, come right in.

Oh.

Yes, I'll be right over.

- Just make yourself comfortable, dear.
- Oh, thank you.

- I got a shooter.
- I do!

Mother's going out, children.
Be good little boys and girls.

We will, we're only burning
her at the stake!

- All right.
- Tie her up good and tight.

- Be a good girl, Sue.
- Yeah.

- The house is yours, my dear.
- Thank you.

- What does she mean the house is mine?
- How do I know?

- Well, where is your mother going?
- Out, where do you think?

Say, you're the dumbest babysitter
I ever saw.

Oh, I am, am I?

- Babysitter? I'm not a babysitter!
- Well, you are now.

Lady! Lady!

Lady! Lady! Lady!

Lady!

- Where are you?
- In here!

Oh!

Oh, you can't!

Help!

Somebody! Please! Help!

Somebody help!

- Are you sure you're all right?
- Thanks to you,

you interrupted the
barbecue just in time.

Well, I've been a babysitter
for a long time,

but these kids are the worst.

Well, you won't have any
trouble with them now.

How do you do, madam, I'm the cosmetic
dealer for the Fuller Brush company.

- I'm sorry, I don't need anything.
- Are you sure you don't need

some cold cream, lipstick, powder,
cold wave home permanent?

I'm afraid not.

- Did you say home permanent?
- Yes, Debutante cold wave home permanent.

Come right in, young lady, come in.
I could have my hair done here and

won't have to break up the game.

Could you give me
a home permanent?

Well, uh, not personally, but
I could show you how.

It's very simple, I have one
myself. Did it last night.

If I could look that good
I'd be satisfied.

- Oh, thank you.
- I could do it, I'm dummy.

- Excellent idea. I'll have one too.
- I will too.

Think of the time we can save.
Why, we can play bridge all afternoon.

And now if you'll just show me
how to do it.

Oh there's nothing to...

- Henry!
- Yes, ma.

Henry, I thought I told you to
not play with that chemical set.

If he hadn't smelled up the whole house
this morning trying to make poison gas

- we could have played inside.
- I quit making that.

I'm working on a genuine
spot remover.

Oh, all right, Henry,
but do be quiet.

Okay, ma.

- You know how children are.
- I'm learning.

So you can see how urgent
it is for you to find Sally.

You're sort of on the spot
aren't ya, Mr. Simpson.

- Yes and it's all on account of that...
- Ah ah!

- ...that lovely girl.
- That's better.

- So will you please...
- Mr. Simpson. About my office.

I want a place, a little more
dignified than this one here.

All right, all right,
anything you want!

- It's a deal.
- Good.

- I'll get Sally.
- Fine.

Of course, this will have to
take a little time, you know.

It's a long way to walk.

- Here, take a cab.
- Thanks.

Take two of 'em.

Thanks.

Hey, pull up in front
of that car.

- There, see how easy it is?
- It certainly is.

Now we're ready for the
cream wave lotion.

- How you doing, son?
- Not so good.

- What are you doing here?
- Now you gotta do what I say.

Hey, mom, I'm going over to
George's house. I'll be right back.

All right dear, be a good boy.

So now we can
afford the payments.

And you won't have to work anymore.

We'll get married, you can stay home
and listen to the patter of the little feet.

No thanks, no patter
of little feet for me.

What do you mean?

Oh, it's a long story.
What's Mrs. Simpson's address again?

414 Green Leaf Road.

414 Green Leaf Road. All right,
I'll go soon as I finish here.

Tell her how you sneezed
the powder on her husband.

Okay.

Kissing spreads germs.

See what I mean by the
patter of little feet?

I'll see you... later.

- Uh, who's done enough?
- I am.

Okay.

Now, this is the cream
wave lotion.

Now, you take a piece of
cotton and saturate each curl.

- Now wait till I get the towel on.
- Oh, me?

Yep. They you are,
lean way over now.

Now saturate it,
get right down to the roots.

Ooh. Oh!

Over here.
Saturate every curl.

There! That didn't
take very long, did it?

No!

You hardly disturbed our game.

Well, that's all there is to it.
I'll be running along now.

You won't forget to deliver
our orders?

Oh no, I have them all
written down.

Well, we certainly appreciate
all your trouble, Miss Elliot.

Well, I was very happy to do it.

And I know your hair
is gonna come out just fine.

- Good bye.
- Good bye!

- I sold four home permanents!
- Oh yeah? Good.

Hey, you can keep the car,
I've got this taxi waiting.

Taxi? Oh, Humphrey,
do you think you should?

Oh, Mr. Simpson insisted.

Oh!

- Now let's see, where were we?
- Well, you need 60 to make game.

This home permanent is a
wonderful idea, isn't it?

Yes, think of the money
you can save.

The best part of it
is you can do it at home.

That's what I like.

Yes dear, while
you're enjoying your television.

Right you are.

- What is this?
- Gracie, your hair!

What do you mean?

- Annabel, you're balding.
- You're all getting bald.

It's alive!

Oh, that girl! That girl!

Oh, you dropped something, lady.

Police! Please
come right away!

- We've been scalped!
- Oh...

As I understand it, Mrs. Simpson, you
wish me to have your husband removed from

the control of the
Maritime Steamship Company.

Exactly.

And I want it done today.

I can't understand why there
should be a deficit of

- $100,000.
- I'm sure it will all be cleared up.

It better be. I want an outside accountant
in to check our books thoroughly.

I'll take care of everything.

There's no need for you
to postpone your vacation.

I'm staying until I find out
what Harvey's been up to.

- Very well, Mrs. Simpson. Good day.
- Good day, Mr. Watkins.

Hello.

I expected you to call
before and apologize.

Sally Elliot told you what
happened didn't she?

What? Hasn't that stupid
redhead been there yet?

The only person who's been here has
been my attorney. His hair isn't red.

Listen, Claire.

She's on her way there.
Claire? Claire?

Claire!

Briggs, I'll murder that Briggs!

- Rocky?
- Yeah boss.

Get hold of Ruby and tell her
I want her to go out to my house.

But, Inspector, there must be
some mistake.

Fuller Brush home permanent has been
used successfully by thousands of women.

Calm yourself, Mr. Christy.

One of these women called
claiming she was scalped.

Scalping comes under homicide,
that's why I'm here.

They should have called
their lawyers.

Say, what's in this cream
wave lotion?

If I remember my chemistry
classes it smells like...

...chlorine.

Chlorine?

I'll have you know the ingredients in
our home permanents are the finest

obtainable, Inspector.
We do not use chlorine.

Ah, I mixed some of that
stuff in my chemical set.

- It ain't so hard.
- I beg your pardon, young man!

I repeat that our ingredients
are the fine...

Hold it, Mr. Christy.

- You use that chemical set much, son?
- Yeah.

I poured some of that
stuff in my test tubes.

Then what did you do with it?

Wasn't any good.
So I dumped it back in this dish.

- In this dish?
- Sure.

Then it was your mixture that
was put on their hair.

You mean the terbium-silicon

selenium-sodium-phosphate
calcium-chlorine-iridium-

potassium-lithium-magnesium-

polonium-thorium-bismut-
h-fluorine-iodine-indium-

thallium-mercury-bromine-palladium
and sulfur was put on my mother's hair?

No wonder she's bald!

Why didn't you tell Miss Bixby
what you'd done?

Bixby? Her name wasn't Bixby!

It was Elliot.

Elliot? It can't be.

The girl in this territory is...

Elliot...

Was she a tall girl
with red hair?

That's her.

Inspector.

And now that
you have practically finished

your course in the French language,
you must learn to understand it

when spoken rapidly.

For instance...

- Mrs. Simpson?
- Yes?

- I'm Sally Elliot.
- Sally Elliot?

- Come in, and sit down.
- Thank you.

I came here to explain what
happened at the office yesterday.

Hi! Just dropped in to see if you'd
ordered work started on my new office.

Your office, I'll give you an office six
feet long and six feet deep in the ground!

Well now, now, now, you wouldn't
want me to cancel Sally's trip

out to your house, would ya?

You cancel it?
She hasn't been there!

She hasn't?

How would you like to
wear this for a hat?

Maritime Steamship Company...

Mrs. Simpson!

Anybody home?

Mrs. Simpson.

Oh!

Hello?

Mrs. Simpson?

Oper...

Operator, get me the police department.

Police department.

What?

Humphrey Briggs?

I want that girl arrested.
She isn't a Fuller Brush girl.

Hello? Inspector Rodgers?
He's right here.

Rodgers speaking.
What? Who?

Humphrey Briggs?

414 Green Leaf Road.
We're on our way

414? That's where the
Fuller Brush girl went.

Who?

I heard a guy named Humphrey tell her
to go there after she finished up here.

- What's wrong, Inspector?
- Looks like murder.

- Did the Fuller Brush girl murder someone?
- Stop saying that!

She's not a Fuller Brush girl!

Inspector, Inspector.

Sally. Sally!

- What happened?
- Oh, Humphrey. Mrs. Simpson hit me.

- Mrs. Simpson?
- I tried to stop her.

- You fought with her? Oh, Sally...
- I guess so. I don't remember.

Sally. You must have. Look,
please don't point that at...

Hide behind here.

We gotta make those cops
think there's somebody here

so we have a chance to get away.

This ends our English
broadcast from Tijuana, Mexico.

The balance of our program will come
to you in the Spanish language.

Out the back door, quick!

That's funny, I can hear
people talking in there.

Yeah, sounds like a bunch
of foreigners.

- Take a look.
- Right.

- Where are we going?
- Shh, quiet. There's another load of cops.

What are we running away for?

Inspector, there's a woman in
there lying on the floor.

Get around the back.

Come on, over the fence, hurry.

Not until I know what we're
running away for.

Sally, please I'll tell you
later. There's no time now.

I'm going back there,

Simpson's wife isn't gonna get away
with socking me around!

- I'll tell her a thing or two.
- You did, come on.

I didn't do a thing, she hit me.

Sally, I know it was an accident, but
it'll look bad to the police. Come on.

When I get through with her
she'll look plenty bad.

She does, she's dead.

I found her, I didn't even
know you were in there.

Dead? Who killed her?

I don't know. Come on let's
get outta here.

Humphrey, you think I did it
don't you?

No, of course I don't, Sally.

Look, it may have been
an accident, but I know you

- didn't do it on purpose.
- You men search the grounds.

No wait, you first.

Oh, Humphrey!

Humphrey!

Humphrey!

Humphrey!

Mm-hm.

Well, I can't be certain until we take
photographs and blow them up, Inspector.

But I'm sure they'll prove the
finger prints on these jars

and those on the gun are the
same.

- Get busy on the photographs.
- Right.

Now, tell me what you know about
this Fuller Brush girl, Mr. Christy.

I told you, Inspector, Miss Elliot
is not a Fuller Brush girl.

Sorry, this girl was selling
Fuller Brush cosmetics.

Can't the name of my company be left
out of this entirely, Inspector?

Not entirely, Mr. Christy.

First this girl pops up posing
as a Fuller Brush girl

and those four women get
their hair shortened.

But the little boy told us...

He also told us she was
coming to this address,

and those jars prove she's
been here.

They've gone right by.

We're safe for a while.

Yeah, home at last in our own
little house. Just you and me,

hiding from the cops.

Someday, Humphrey, our little
house will be famous.

"And right over there folks,
in that cute little cottage,

"that's the hideout of
Two Gun Sal."

No, no, no, don't say that.

Oh I'm sorry, I forgot,
it was only one gun, wasn't it?

Now listen to me.

We're gonna get out of this.

There's one good thing.
We aren't married yet.

I'll never bring any shame to
your name, Humphrey.

Oh, Sally. Sally I'll always
wanna marry you.

I wanted to marry you the
first time I ever saw you.

You remember at the church
sociable when we met?

We were both six years
old, remember?

Yeah, I remember. I hadn't
killed anyone yet.

No, not yet... Now, cut
it out!

After all, if somebody tried to hit me
with a gun I'd fight back too.

It was an accident,
the gun just went off.

Oh Sally. When I think you
might have been shot.

Oh, I wouldn't wanna
live without you.

You'll come and see me every
visiting day won't you, Humphrey?

No, I won't come to see you
because you're not going to jail.

Now, we're gonna get out of this.
I'm sure we can prove it was self defense.

There's only one thing we have to
worry about. We gotta make sure

that Mr. Simpson tells the police
that he sent you to see his wife.

You see, that will give you a
reason for being at her house.

Now, we'll go see Mr. Simpson,
make sure that he backs us up,

then we'll call the police,
tell them everything that's happened.

That car out front is registered
to Humphrey Briggs, Inspector.

You take care of things here,
wait for the coroner.

Come on, we're gonna
see Mr. Simpson.

Hey, the light's still on in Simpson's
office. I'll go up and see him.

No.

You wait over here.

I'm afraid. I wanna
go with you.

He'll probably murder the both
of us if he even sees you.

Bye.

Simpson's wife in a
burlesque show?

No.

Oh, is that you, Mr. Simpson?

Hey, who are you?

Hey, what are you doing up here?

Hey you can't do that!

Oh!

Oh, Mr. Simpson!

I didn't see you for a...
A fellow shot at me, he shot my...

Hey, Mr. Simpson, wake...

Mr. Simpson?

Oh...

Humphrey!

Humphrey.

Humphrey!

Humphrey, darling.

Sweetheart.

Oh! Humphrey!

Humphrey.
Speak to me.

Humphrey! Speak to me.
Say something.

Those were bullet holes.
Humphrey.

Water.

Humphrey. Are you all right?
How do you feel?

Let me have it...

Not that way.

Oh, Mr. Simpson.

Oh, Mr. Simpson, I forgot.

Is he dead?

He must be,
that man must have shot him.

What man?

I don't know, when I came up there
was a man coming out of this office.

Let's get out of here before I
get blamed for this too.

Humphrey, look. Mr. Simpson
was writing something.

- What is it? Who's Claire?
- That's his wife's name.

- That's his wife?
- Yeah come on let's get outta here.

Humphrey, wait. That is isn't
the woman who hit me.

Of course it is, that's
Mrs. Simpson.

No, the woman I saw was dark,
she wore glasses, she didn't look like that.

- You sure?
- Of course.

If that's his wife then it must have
been someone else at the house.

I know it wasn't her.

But it was Mrs. Simpson
I found dead on the floor.

Humphrey, the poster,
that's who it was!

Hey, where are you going?

Get away from the window!

What are you doing?

It's her Humphrey. It's her!

Her? Who's her?

See that burlesque
poster down there?

- Uh huh.
- That's the woman I thought was Mrs. Simpson.

No, you said she wore glasses.

That's why I wasn't sure, but now
I am. Look right through there.

That's her, Humphrey, that's
the woman I saw in the Simpson house.

She must have killed
Mrs. Simpson.

Well, at least she knows
something. She was there.

Oh, Humphrey, that means I didn't
kill Mrs. Simpson, I couldn't have,

I never even saw her.
Oh, everything's all right.

I knew you couldn't kill anybody.

Okay, now we've got to
get down...

Police. We'll tell them.

Oh, wait. How we are gonna
explain Mr. Simpson in there?

Oh we'll just tell them about
the man who took a shot at me.

But you don't know who he is.

Humphrey, we'd better get that hoochie cooch
dancer to tell us how she's mixed up in

this before the police pick us up.
If she was involved with Mrs. Simpson,

she might know something about
Mr. Simpson's murder.

- Come on.
- No, no. Not that way. Over the roof.

The next roof, it's an apartment house,
we can get down to the street.

Not so fast.
Put up your hands.

Who are you? Oh, Mr. Watkins.

- What are you doing up here?
- I live over there.

When I heard the sirens, I started over
the roof and saw you two running out.

You're wanted for
murdering the Simpsons.

Oh no, Mr. Watkins, we didn't do it.
But we think we know who did.

Yeah, it was a dancer named
Ruby Rawlings.

She had something to do with
Mrs. Simpson's killing.

Yeah, and a strange man who took a shot
at me must have killed Mr. Simpson.

You can tell the police all about it.
Start moving.

Wait, Mr. Watkins.

If you take us down to the police now we may
never have a chance to prove our innocence.

Please believe us. Look, come down
to the burlesque show with us.

And see the man that took a shot
at you dancing I suppose, huh?

Uh, but it's true, look, uh...

See the bullet hole?
Right there.

Fashion designers entertain society
with early showings of the

latest in neck pieces.

Notice the lovely fur my
lady is wearing.

It completely transforms her
into...

A South African gorilla,

a ferocious man killer.

These creatures have no tails,
but their legs...

...are lovely and will attract
attention from men everywhere.

Now after adding the whites
of eggs, and corn starch...

He's wonderful. I always
follow his recipes.

You add a pinch of...

...city garbage.

If you want to keep your city clean,
put all your garbage...

...into the bowl and serve it
to the man of the house.

No wonder I've got indigestion.

There, that ought to keep him
quiet for a while.

Long enough to see Ruby.
Let's get out of here.

- How are they coming?
- Looks the same as the others, Inspector.

- The Fuller Brush girl?
- They're hers.

Call all cars to be on the alert.
Get a description over the radio.

Cover where she lives and get a picture
of her for the newspapers.

Get going, this is a massacre!

See her?

No, but when she comes
on I'll go back stage.

I'll wait and get her alone in
her dressing room.

- Are you decent, Ruby?
- Yes, Bangs, come in.

What do you want?

Look, you gotta change your mind.
You can't quit.

The whole show is
built around ya.

Look, Bangs, I told you,
I've got another girl to take my place.

Oh, Lady Godiva couldn't
take your place.

- They want you.
- Well they're out of luck,

because I'm going on
for the last time.

I hope your friend gets here
for the second show.

Oh, she will.

* Put the blame on Mame, boys

* Put the blame on Mame

* One night she started
to shim and shake

* That brought on the 'Frisco
quake

* So you can put the blame on
Mame, boys

* Put the blame on Mame

* When Mrs. O'Leary's
cow kicked the lantern

* In Chicago town

* They say that started the fire

* That burned Chicago down

* That's the story that went
around

* Here's the real low down

* Put the blame on Mame, boys

* Put the blame on Mame

- That's her!
- Shh.

* That kiss burned Chicago down

* So you can put the blame on
Mame... *

I'm going back.

You stay here because if there's
any trouble she might try to leap

over that runway.

Sally Elliot? I wouldn't want
to run into her.

Two murders in one day.
But the police will find her.

They got a good description of her.

The papers say she's tall,
and good looking.

I'm gonna give all the good
lookers the once over.

There's a reward if you see her.

Oh it ain't hard to
spot a red headed girl.

I'll be back with the
rest of them.

Look, if some girl shows up
around here looking for Ruby,

call me right away, will ya?

- Okay.
- Thanks.

- Hi ya, sister.
- Hi...

...Pop.

I wanna see the manager.

Is he around?

Pop?

Yeah. He's around.

I'll call him.

You wanna see me?

- Came to see ya about a job.
- Hey you the gal Ruby sent for?

- Ruby sent for me?
- To take her place.

Yeah, you'll do.

Honey, if you can dance as good as you
look they'll never miss Ruby. Come on in.

Good luck.

Thanks...
Father.

You'll have to get
ready right away.

- Ready?
- Yeah. I'll put you on after Ruby.

We'll see how you go over.
Now get your clothes off.

Hurry up.

Come on, snap into it.
Let's go. That's it.

Your friend got here.
She looks okay.

I told you so.
Now I can blow.

- Rocky, I just finished.
- We'll be right over.

Relax, baby, you sound nervous.

Nervous? Of course I'm
nervous.

Look, what if that girl that
saw me goes to the cops.

All I want to do is get on that
ship before anything happens.

Now what time does it dock?

Midnight?
Okay. I'll be waiting.

Oh! Ah!

Sorry, glamor girl, your sailing
trip has been postponed...

Help!

...until you talk to the
police.

Did you see a strange looking dame around?
Tall with long heavy eyelashes?

I ain't seen her.

I'll bet you haven't had so
many clothes on in a long time.

Who is it?

What are you doing in there?
I told you to get ready.

Come on, step on it.
Step on it. You're on!

I was talking to Ruby,
I'll be right with you.

Okay, get going,
you've only got two minutes.

Don't worry.

- Oh, is there a phone around here?
- Right there.

Operator, get me the police
department, quickly.

Rodgers speaking.
Who?

Sally Elliot?

Put her on.

I'm at the Gaiety Burlesque Theater.
I think I know who killed Mrs. Simpson.

I know who killed her too.
You stay right there.

Oh, it wasn't me inspector.
It was Ruby Rawlings.

The other side, quick.

Oh!

Sally!

Say, she's terrific. I'm going
to sign her up.

Hey, look at the shape on that
babe, she's terrific.

She's my girl, I'm gonna
marry her.

- Ah, let her keep working.
- She don't work at this!

Man, that's not work, that's
talent. Real talent!

Sally, Sally. Get off the stage.

Sit down. You ain't
married yet.

Humphrey, let's get outta here!

Come on, let's go
round the front.

- Watkins.
- What happened, Rocky?

That Elliot dame
called the cops.

You fellows get down to the pier.
I'll take care of Miss Elliot.

Why did you take your
clothes off back there?

I'll tell you later, we gotta
get to the police station.

The police will arrest you
for indecent exposure.

That's better than murder.

Get into one of these things,
come on, don't waste any time.

- And take that ugly face off.
- All right, turn your back.

Now you're getting modest.

- Let's catch a cab.
- Hey, Briggs!

Hey, Briggs!

Oh, Watkins! Let's go.

Wait. He wanted to take us to
the police station before.

Let him take us,
we got proof now.

Alright. We'll save cab fare.

Mr. Watkins, will you take us
to the police station?

Hop in.

- What's going on?
- You'll find out.

And then Ruby called someone
named Rocky and

said something about
leaving on a ship.

A ship that docks at midnight.

- Docks at midnight?
- Uh huh.

There's only one ship comes in
at that time That's The Clairess,

one of the Maritime ships.
I was supposed to check cargo on her.

The Clairess.

Humphrey, maybe Mr. Simpson meant the
ship and not his wife when he wrote on

that piece of paper.

Maybe there's something going
on on that ship that he was

- trying to tell.
- I think you're right, Miss Elliot.

We'd better get to the ship.

If Ruby killed Mrs. Simpson,
who killed Mr. Simpson?

- Oh yeah, it's gotta be connected somehow.
- Let's see now.

We found Mr. Simpson dead.

Then we ran up on the roof
to get away from the police.

That's when we ran into
you, Mr. Watkins.

Yeah, we were afraid you were
gonna turn us over to the cops.

Yeah, when you said we were
wanted for murdering the Simpsons...

Oh no, Mr. Watkins didn't say
"the" Simpsons.

Nobody knew Mr. Simpson was dead
except us and the murderer.

Oh.

That's right.

Uh, Humphrey.

You know, this night air is very bad
for me, you better take me home.

No, we gotta be here when
the ship arrives.

Well, Mr. Watkins can take care of that.
Come on dear.

Don't go away, Miss Elliot.

The night air won't bother
you much longer.

Sally was right. You did say
"the Simpsons".

You killed Mr. Simpson!

- Watkins killed Mrs. Simpson too.
- Keep talking.

Well, Watkins, Mr. Simpson and Rocky were
using The Clairess to smuggle diamonds in.

Rocky sent me to pretend I was the girl
that sneezed the powder on Mr. Simpson.

Mrs. Simpson knew the girl was
a redhead and she got wise to me.

She knew something was up and
Watkins came back to the house and

he shot her. He left first.
I was just about to leave when

that dame walked in on me and
I had to slug her.

Why did Watkins kill Simpson?

Well, when Mr. Simpson found
out his wife had been killed,

he was gonna spill everything
to the cops.

Take care of her.
Come on, Pier 48.

The ship should be here.

You fellas lookin'
for somethin'?

- This is where The Clairess docks isn't it?
- Yeah. She sailed about twenty

minutes ago. Just docked long
enough to pick up two passengers.

- A gal and a young fella.
- Get going. Harbor police.

Humphrey! Humphrey!
Wake up. Wake up.

- Humphrey, wake up! Ah!
- Watkins, now I've got you...

Ah! Ah! Humphrey, it's Sally,
not Watkins.

Oh, Sally, I'm sorry.
What happened?

Watkins hit you. We're on a
ship, we're going out to sea.

What?

Oh! Humphrey! Humphrey!

We couldn't stay in port.

The police would have been there before
we could have unloaded the stuff.

This way we'll take it off in a small boat
and land it along the coast.

You head back to port, police will
search the ship and find nothing.

- What about our passengers?
- Could be, uh...

...could be
accidental drowning.

Wait a little longer the outgoing
tide will take care of them.

They might never be found.

How we gonna get outta here?

- What are you doing?
- These will reach to the porthole below.

- What's down there?
- Cargo from South America.

Oh fine, we can hide among
the rumba dancers.

Oh, stop it.

From there I can get to the wireless room.
If I can send a message

we'll get help.

Start tearing the mattress apart
and tie these springs together.

How much longer? I've got to get back
in case the police want to question me.

This ought to do it.

Rocky, come on.

Oh, do you think those
springs will hold?

We've gotta take that chance.
Give me the chair.

They're up on deck.

Help! Help me!

Don't let go. Hang on.
Don't let go, Sally.

Help!

There they are, up there!

Cut them down.

Hey, look.

Humphrey. My hands
are killing me.

- I can't hold on much longer.
- You've got to.

Oh! Humphrey!
I'm falling!

Grab my hand.

Help! Help!

Help!

- They're in the funnel.
- That takes care of them.

Yeah.

Don't make any noise, they will
think we fell into the boiler.

- You look like you did.
- We got more troubles than the way I look.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Sally, this is no place for
a steam bath. Get going!

- Hey, stop it.
- I can't my foot is caught.

- What are you blowing that whistle for?
- I'm not blowing it.

Hey, they're up on the funnel
ladder! Go get 'em!

That looks like The Clairess.
See?

Mm hm.

How long will it take
us to catch it?

She's making pretty good time.
About 20 minutes, I'd say.

Hey, come on, jump!

Go get 'em!

Don't come another step or
I'll let ya have it.

I warned ya!
Give 'em the works.

Oh! Help me!

Woo, woo, woo!

Help! Humphrey!

Help!

No!

Hey, stop it, you're
making me dizzy.

Where am I? I'm seasick.

I'd like to go home now.

- How much longer?
- Oh, few minutes.

But we might lose her.
She's running into a fog.

Let me see.

- Hey can you bowl?
- No.

Start learning.

Look out!

Buenas noches, senor and senorita.
Lovely evening isn't it?

You'd better get an interpreter.

Where can we hide?
Those guys will be in here after us.

Hop on the sacks.

Each of you take a door.

Buenas noches, senor.

You'd better get an interpreter.

Where can we hide?
Those guys will be in here after us.

Hop on the sacks.

Thanks.

Thanks.
You're welcome, senor.

We're cooked. He'll be back
with the others.

I'd like to strangle
those birds.

Hey, wait, I got an idea.

- Hey, Polly!
- Si, senorita?

- What are you gonna do?
- Shh!

You big dope, they went out
the door when you left!

You big dope, they went out
the door when you left!

They're up there. Them
boys told me.

You big dope, they went out
the door when you left.

Why didn't you stay in here?

Why didn't you stay in here?

Thanks. Boy, we really fooled 'em.
They thought we weren't in here.

Thanks. Oh boy, we
really fooled 'em.

Let's get out of here.

- They thought we weren't in here.
- Shh! Not so loud.

Shh! Not so loud.

- They're still in here.
- They're still in here.

Yeah. Them dopey boys
gave them away.

Yeah. Them dopey boys gave them away.
We're traveling in the best circles.

Up on those sacks.

Uh oh.

Shh, shh, shh.

There they go!

Help! We hit a rock!

Man the lifeboats.
Women and parrots first!

They gotta be in here someplace.

* Yes, we have no bananas!

Can't we go any faster?

Not in this fog,
you can't see a thing.

You'll see plenty if anything
happens to that barrel of dynamite.

Dynamite?

Ruby told us the diamonds
were in the barrel

as part of a wine shipment.
Watkins doesn't trust his friends.

He's the only one who can open
it without it exploding.

- Pretty special barrel, eh?
- Yeah. It has a white star painted on it.

Hey, come on up on the barrels.

Get up to the cargo hold.

Sally!

Oh... oh.

- Sally! Sally are you hurt?
- I lost my shoe.

Oh, there it is.

They might be in here.

Put your hand over that leak,
they might hear it.

I didn't see anybody come
in here.

We'll take a look anyway
over there.

What?

- Did you see 'em?
- No, a sack fell on me.

Shh. Quiet.

Shh!

Shh!

Come on, they're not in here.

Take your hands off me!

Let me at 'em. Who's afraid of
'em?

I'll fight the first guy that comes
at me. I'll beat him to a pulp!

Easy.

I'll show you who's
boss around here.

If the fuse in that barrel is tripped,
she'll blow us right out of the ocean.

Well, what are you stopping
for? You yellow or something?

Come on, I can lick any man
in the house! Come on!

Clear the decks, boys, I want at ya.
Action, that's what I want!

I'll fight any man my weight.

Bring on the whole crew, when I get
through, they'll all be bow legged!

Look out!

Come on, you big cowards.
Come on, put up your dukes!

Try and fool around with
me, will ya?

No! No!

Scaredy-cat, scaredy-cat!
Blah, blah, blah, blah!

Scaredy-cat!
Scaredy-cat! Scaredy-cat!

Let's get off of this tub.

- Whoa, the boat's rocking.
- Is it? I didn't feel anything.

You must have been drinkin'
or somethin'.

Come on back here, you sissies!
I guess I scared 'em away.

You sure did!

- Hey!
- What?

- Here comes a police boat!
- Yoohoo! Police!

We'll be off of here soon.
Nothing can happen to us now!

Nothing!

Whenever I kiss you I
think I hear noises.

Me too.

Whenever I kiss you I
think I hear noises.

Me too.