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1
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:57,389
HELLO. MELVIN?
LISTEN. THIS IS LAMONT.
2
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,591
IS MY FATHER OVER AT YOUR PLACE?
3
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:02,528
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
4
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,796
HE'S ALWAYS GOT MY
SUPPER READY FOR ME AT 6:00,
5
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:07,105
AND HERE IT IS AFTER 8:00,
AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.
6
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,238
NO, HE DIDN'T TELL ME
WHERE HE WAS GOING.
7
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:16,608
OH, NO, THANKS, MELVIN.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. NO...
8
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:19,511
MELVIN, I DON'T LIKE PIGS' FEET.
9
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,083
OKAY, GOOD-BYE.
10
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:40,466
[ Sighs ] THANKS FOR A VERY
NICE EVENING, MR. SANFORD.
11
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:44,736
AND YOU'RE WELCOME, MRS. HARRIS. THANKS
FOR PICKING ME UP AND DROPPING ME OFF.
12
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,873
MY PLEASURE, MR. SANFORD.
13
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,143
I'M SORRY I DON'T HAVE A CAR.
14
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:54,012
ALL I GOT IS THIS OLD TRUCK,
AND THE SPRINGS ARE GONE,
15
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,148
SO IT WOULDN'T BE TOO
GOOD FOR YOUR BACK.
16
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:59,017
AND I DON'T HAVE NO SEAT BELT,
17
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,553
SO IT WOULDN'T BE TOO
GOOD FOR YOUR FRONT EITHER.
18
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,591
DON'T WORRY ABOUT
IT, MR. SANFORD.
19
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:08,427
MRS. HARRIS. YES, MR. SANFORD?
20
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:11,763
ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME THAT WE START
CALLING EACH OTHER BY OUR FIRST NAME?
21
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:14,166
ALL RIGHT, MR. SANFORD.
22
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,135
I DID IT AGAIN. YEAH.
23
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:19,904
WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR
FIRST NAME WAS? DONNA.
24
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,308
DONNA. THAT'S
PRETTY. MINE'S FRED. OH.
25
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,778
WAIT A MINUTE.
26
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,780
SIR WALTER RALEIGH.
27
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,352
THANK YOU.
28
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:36,455
“DONNA” MEANS “LADY,” YOU KNOW.
29
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,457
AND “FRED” MEANS “MAN.”
30
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:45,930
SO, THAT'S GONNA WORK
OUT JUST RIGHT, AIN'T IT?
31
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,099
YES, IT IS.
32
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,835
HEY, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, I
KNEW YOUR NAME WAS DONNA,
33
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:54,706
BUT I JUST DIDN'T WANNA START CALLING
YOU THAT, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT.
34
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,042
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? YES, FRED.
35
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,244
UH, FRED? HMM?
36
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:03,081
DID YOU SPEAK TO YOUR SON
YET? DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT US?
37
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:06,218
NO, NOT YET. BUT DON'T
YOU THINK YOU SHOULD?
38
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,265
WHAT IF HE OBJECTS TO
OUR GETTING MARRIED?
39
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,489
OH, HE WON'T OBJECT.
40
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,957
IT'S A NICE THING, YOU
AND I GETTING MARRIED.
41
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,093
IT'S LIKE “SEPTEMBER SONG.”
42
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:18,530
♪ OH, IT'S A LONG LONG WHILE ♪
43
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,433
♪ FROM MAY TO SEPTEM-DECEM... ♪♪
44
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:22,934
I DONE FORGET.
45
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:26,137
BUT ANYWAY, YOU
MAY AND I'M SEPTEMBER.
46
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:28,488
YES. AND IF I WAIT ANY LONGER,
47
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,210
I'LL BE DECEMBER.
48
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:35,013
BE READY FOR THE DEEP
FREEZE. DON'T SAY THAT, FRED.
49
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:37,982
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY...
YOU'RE AS YOUNG AS YOU FEEL.
50
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,686
YEAH, WELL, I'M 65,
51
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,921
AND PEOPLE SAY I LOOK 55.
52
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:46,558
AND I FEEL 45.
I'D SETTLE FOR 35.
53
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,095
BUT YOU MAKE ME FEEL 25.
54
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,034
YOU'RE DOING ALL RIGHT.
55
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:59,638
YOU'RE WHAT WE LADIES
CALL AN ELIGIBLE BACHELOR.
56
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:03,542
YEAH. I GOT MOST OF MY
TEETH AND SOME OF MY HAIR,
57
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,977
AND I GOT ALL OF
MY SOCIAL SECURITY.
58
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:13,252
WELL, I BETTER BE GOING. THANKS
AGAIN FOR THE MOVIE. I REALLY ENJOYED IT.
59
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,355
YOU DIDN'T MIND SITTING UP IN THE
FRONT ROW? DIDN'T HURT YOUR EYES, DID IT?
60
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,123
NO, IT WAS FINE.
61
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,726
SEE, IN THIS DAY OF
THE NATURAL HAIRDO,
62
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,429
SEE, YOU CAN'T SEE SITTIN'
BEHIND SOME PEOPLE.
63
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:25,964
THAT'S TRUE.
64
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:29,534
OH, DONNA, HERE'S A HALF
A BOX OF THOSE JUJYFRUITS.
65
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,716
YOU TAKE 'EM WITH YOU. YOU
KEEP THEM. TOO MANY CALORIES.
66
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:35,006
I HAVE TO WATCH MY
FIGURE, YOU KNOW.
67
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:38,243
YEAH, YOU DO THAT. AIN'T NO
NEED OF BOTH OF US WATCHING IT.
68
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:42,814
YOU SAY THE FUNNIEST
THINGS. YOU REALLY DO.
69
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:46,151
YEAH, I GET OFF A GOODY
EVERY NOW AND THEN.
70
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,620
WELL... WELL, GOOD NIGHT.
71
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,200
DON'T FORGET TO SPEAK
TO YOUR SON. OH, I WON'T.
72
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,659
AND YOU DRIVE CAREFULLY. I WILL.
73
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,662
UH, DRIVE CAREFULLY.
74
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,730
GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.
75
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:10,375
[ Engine Starting ]
76
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,811
[ Car Drives Off ]
77
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:20,151
♪♪ [ Humming ]
78
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,987
- HELLO, SON.
- WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
79
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:26,325
- I WAS OUT.
- NO FOOLING.
80
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:29,461
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SITTING
ON THAT SOFA ALL THIS TIME.
81
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:33,465
WHAT ARE YOU ALL DRESSED UP
FOR ANYWAY? I TOLD YOU I WAS OUT.
82
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,701
YOU HAD TO PUT ON
THEM CLOTHES TO GO OUT?
83
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,704
YOU GONNA GO OUT, YOU
SUPPOSED TO PUT ON SOME CLOTHES.
84
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:43,342
YOU WANT ME TO GET
ARRESTED OR SOMETHING?
85
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,944
ALL I KNOW IS THAT
THERE WAS NO SUPPER.
86
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,332
I LEFT YOU SOMETHING
IN THERE ON THE STOVE.
87
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,360
ALL YOU HAD TO
DO WAS HEAT IT UP.
88
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,984
I FIXED YOU SOME
MEAT LOAF AND OKRA.
89
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,186
OKRA? YOU HATE OKRA.
90
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:58,016
I HATE IT, BUT I DIDN'T
KNOW YOU DID. YEAH.
91
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,428
YES, IT'S SLIMY,
AIN'T IT? RIGHT.
92
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,930
I AIN'T GONNA FIX THAT NO MORE.
93
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,266
POP, I WORK HARD ALL DAY,
94
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:11,636
AND WHEN I COME HOME, I EXPECT
TO HAVE A HOT MEAL WAITING FOR ME.
95
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,138
NOW, I CAME HOME TONIGHT
AND THERE WAS NONE.
96
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:17,208
NOW, WHAT DO WE LEARN
FROM THIS LITTLE LESSON?
97
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:22,614
WE LEARN FROM THIS LITTLE
LESSON THAT BOTH OF US HATE OKRA.
98
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,927
WELL, I EXPECT TO HAVE A
HOT MEAL WAITING FOR ME.
99
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,956
AND YOU ALWAYS HAVE ONE.
THERE WAS NONE TONIGHT.
100
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:36,828
WELL, HERE. TRY SOME JUJYFRUITS.
101
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:41,433
I DON'T WANT NO JUJYFRUITS. I WANT
SOMETHING THAT'S GONNA STICK TO MY RIBS.
102
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:45,604
WELL, THEY DON'T STICK TO YOUR RIBS,
BUT THEY SURE STICK TO YOUR TEETH.
103
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,942
MAY I ASK WHERE YOU'VE BEEN?
104
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,077
I WENT TO THE MOVIES.
THE MOVIES, HUH?
105
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,113
DOWN AT THE PARADISE.
106
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:58,082
TWO FEATURES. FORTY-NINE CENTS.
107
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:02,253
TWO WESTERNS. IT WAS A
CLINT EASTWOOD FESTIVAL.
108
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,642
BOTH PICTURES WAS GOOD TOO.
109
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:08,660
“FISTFUL OF RAIN” AND
“HAT FULL OF DOLLARS.”
110
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:12,330
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HOW LONG DO
YOU THINK I'M GONNA PUT UP WITH THIS?
111
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:16,935
YOU AT THE MOVIES WITH JUJYFRUITS
AND ME AT HOME WITH OKRA.
112
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,215
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT? I DON'T DO IT THAT OFTEN.
113
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,172
SUPPER'S BEEN LATE
TEN TIMES THIS MONTH.
114
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:24,543
WHERE ELSE DO YOU GO DURING
THE DAY, TO A TOPLESS BAR?
115
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:28,547
YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH. YOU KNOW
GOOD AND WELL I'M A AVID BAPTIST.
116
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:34,586
WELL, ALL I KNOW IS THAT ONE OF
THESE DAYS YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP...
117
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,689
AND FIND THAT YOUR ONLY MEANS
OF SUPPORT HAS FLOWN THE COOP.
118
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:40,659
YOU NOT ONLY WORKING FOR
ME. YOU WORKING FOR YOURSELF.
119
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:43,495
YEAH, BUT I COULD DO A LOT
BETTER IF I WAS ON MY OWN.
120
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,667
- YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- I KNOW SO.
121
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:52,103
WELL, SON, MAYBE I HAVE
BEEN HOLDING YOU BACK.
122
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,739
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO ON OUT
AND DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO...
123
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,053
'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA
HOLD YOU BACK, HONEST.
124
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,643
I KNOW THAT, POP.
125
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,713
LISTEN. I GOT TEED OFF 'CAUSE THERE
WAS NO SUPPER, SO LET'S FORGET IT.
126
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:05,750
NO, WE CAN'T FORGET
IT. SEE, TONIGHT...
127
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,752
WELL, I MEAN TO SAY...
128
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:11,490
WHEN I WENT TO THE
MOVIES, I DIDN'T GO ALONE.
129
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,692
I WENT WITH A LADY.
WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
130
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,794
WHO GOES TO THE MOVIES
ALONE DURING THE DAY?
131
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,796
GUYS THAT ARE OUT
OF WORK AND WINOS.
132
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:21,666
- BUT YOU NOT LISTENING.
- I AM LISTENING TO YOU, POP.
133
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,836
YOU WENT TO THE MOVIES WITH A
WOMAN. YOU SAW A DOUBLE FEATURE.
134
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:27,639
YOU BOUGHT SOME JUJYFRUITS
AND YOU FORGOT ABOUT MY SUPPER.
135
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:31,109
I BLEW UP. BUT I'M SORRY. IT'S
ALL OVER NOW. LET'S FORGET IT.
136
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,845
NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
LET'S DON'T FORGET IT.
137
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,314
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS,
138
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:38,850
THIS LADY THAT WENT
TO THE MOVIES WITH ME...
139
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,418
YEAH?
140
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:44,355
WELL, I'M GETTING MARRIED AGAIN.
141
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,227
- YOU KIDDING ME.
- SEE,
142
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:51,841
THEY TOOK INTERMISSION AND EVERYBODY
WENT OUTSIDE AND GOT SOME REFRESHMENTS.
143
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:56,134
AND I HAD JUST ENOUGH TIME TO BUY
THESE JUJYFRUITS AND ASK HER TO MARRY ME.
144
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,069
I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.
145
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:01,506
WELL, I'VE KNOWN
HER A LONG TIME.
146
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,108
SHE'S A WIDOW AND SHE'S NICE,
147
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,745
AND, WELL, SHE WANNA
GET MARRIED TOO.
148
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:10,582
- SHE DOES, HUH?
- SEE, WE'RE COMPATIBLE,
HER AND I.
149
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:14,553
WE'RE REALLY COMPATIBLE. SEE,
I'M A SAGITTARIAN, AND SHE'S A LEO.
150
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:18,957
SEE, SAGITTARIAN IS THE
HUNTER, AND LEO IS THE LION.
151
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,325
SO I GOT ME A LION.
152
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,400
IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE
SHE'S PISCES THE FISH...
153
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,570
AND YOU GOT
YOURSELF A BARRACUDA.
154
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:37,642
LISTEN. I THOUGHT YOU'D
BE HAPPY WITH THE NEWS.
155
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,644
WELL, I'M NOT. IT'S RIDICULOUS.
156
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,047
YOU TOO OLD TO
GET MARRIED. YOU 65.
157
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:45,617
SO WHAT? CARY GRANT GOT MARRIED
AGAIN WHEN HE WAS IN HIS SIXTIES.
158
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,819
YEAH, BUT YOU'RE NOT CARY GRANT.
159
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,821
I'M NOT GENERAL GRANT EITHER.
160
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:55,126
I'M UP HERE WITH CARY, NOT
DOWN THERE WITH ULYSSES.
161
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,201
WELL, HOW OLD IS
THIS PERSON ANYWAY?
162
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:07,238
SHE'S AROUND 40.
YEAH. WAY ROUND.
163
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,285
NOT THAT FAR. SHE
GOT HER OWN MONEY.
164
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:12,310
AND SHE GOT HER OWN CAR.
SHE'S A PRACTICAL NURSE.
165
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:15,981
- SHE IS, HUH?
- YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID
IN THE MOVIES?
166
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:20,518
SHE MASSAGED MY NECK
SO GOOD, I HEARD IT CRACK.
167
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:23,989
MY NECK CRACKED, AND IT NEVER
FELT THIS GOOD BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
168
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:27,225
LOOK. I CAN DO THIS NOW.
169
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:31,763
THAT'S TERRIFIC. NOW YOU CAN
WATCH THE PING-PONG MATCHES.
170
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:35,734
IT AIN'T BAD BEING MARRIED TO A WOMAN
WHO CAN CRACK YOUR NECK EVERY MORNING.
171
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,802
YOU'VE GOT IT MADE NOW.
172
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,971
AND SHE ALSO DOES TOES.
173
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:45,877
YEAH, SEE, I TOOK MY SHOE OFF
AND SHE CRACKED MY BIG TOE.
174
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,514
WITH ALL THAT CRACKING GOING ON,
175
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,651
I'M SURPRISED THEY DIDN'T THROW
YOU TWO OUT OF THE THEATER.
176
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:58,890
YOU COULDN'T HEAR THE CRACKING BECAUSE
OF TOO MUCH SHOOTING ON THE SCREEN.
177
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,626
SEE, CLINT EASTWOOD
PULLED OUT HIS PISTOL...
178
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:05,229
AND SHOT 11 BAD GUYS
AND A WATER BUFFALO.
179
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:08,867
DIDN'T EVEN RELOAD. HE
MUST'VE HAD A 12-SHOOTER.
180
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:14,673
WHEN ARE YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS GONNA
STAGGER DOWN THE AISLE TOGETHER?
181
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:18,977
IF YOU MEAN WHEN ARE WE GONNA
GET MARRIED, IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
182
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,979
YOU DIDN'T WASTE
ANY TIME, DID YOU?
183
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:23,381
I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO WASTE NO TIME.
184
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:28,053
[ Knocking On Door ]
WONDER WHO THAT IS.
185
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:31,189
MAYBE YOUR BRIDE-TO-BE
CAN'T WAIT AND WANTS TO ELOPE.
186
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:36,627
OH, HI, MELVIN. HELLO, LAMONT.
HELLO. FRED. YOU'RE HOME.
187
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:38,675
HELLO, MELVIN.
HAVE SOME SIT-DOWN.
188
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,631
OH, YEAH. WHAT'S THE MATTER?
189
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:43,546
I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU. LAMONT
CALLED AND SAID YOU WEREN'T HOME,
190
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,503
AND I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU HAD AN ACCIDENT.
191
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,873
NOT YET, MELVIN. IN
A FEW WEEKS. WHAT?
192
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:50,920
TELL YOUR FRIEND MELVIN
WHO'S NOT MARRIED...
193
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,678
AND DOESN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT
IT WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO.
194
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,680
I'D LIKE TO HEAR
WHAT HE'S GOT TO SAY.
195
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:58,883
SAY ABOUT WHAT? MY FATHER'S
GETTING MARRIED AGAIN.
196
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,720
CONGRATULATIONS. I
THINK THAT'S GREAT.
197
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,722
STAY OUT OF THIS, MELVIN.
198
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,670
ARE YOU REALLY GONNA
DO IT, FRED? YEAH.
199
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:10,561
- WHO'S THE LUCKY LADY?
- HER NAME IS DONNA.
200
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,997
DONNA HARRIS. SHE'S
A PRACTICAL NURSE.
201
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:18,837
THEY NICE. YEAH, THEY WEAR THOSE
SOFT WHITE SHOES AND HAVE COOL HANDS.
202
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:22,640
AND IF I NEED ANYTHING FROM
THE SURGICAL SUPPLY STORE,
203
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,343
SHE CAN GET IT FOR
ME AT A DISCOUNT.
204
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:29,247
HOW ROMANTIC. I CAN SEE THE TWO OF
Y'ALL SHOPPING FOR YOUR HONEYMOON,
205
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,916
BUYING RUBBER STOCKINGS
AND ORTHOPEDIC SHOES.
206
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:37,055
HEY, BUT THAT'S GREAT, FRED.
207
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,557
WHEN THE TIME COMES
AND YOU NEED A TRUSS,
208
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:42,526
SHE CAN GET YOU A
NICE LEATHER ONE...
209
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,663
INSTEAD OF THE OLD ELASTIC KIND
THEY GIVE YOU DOWN AT THE CLINIC.
210
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:49,333
AND IF YOU NEED SOMETHING, LET ME
KNOW. YOU NEED ANYTHING, MELVIN?
211
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,770
I DON'T KNOW. I'LL
FEEL AROUND AND SEE.
212
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:57,308
HEY, FRED, ARE YOU
GONNA LIVE HERE?
213
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:01,746
I THINK I'M GONNA MOVE AND SELL
THE PLACE. BUT NOT RIGHT AWAY.
214
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:05,495
I WANNA GIVE LAMONT ENOUGH
TIME TO FIND SOMEWHERE TO LIVE.
215
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:09,287
SO NOW I'M GETTING
KICKED OUT, HUH?
216
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:12,690
AFTER I'VE WORKED FOR YOU ALL THESE
YEARS, I'M GETTING THROWN OUT THE DOOR.
217
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:16,627
THAT AIN'T RIGHT. LAMONT'S BEEN A GOOD
BOY AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA THROW HIM OUT.
218
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:20,398
KEEP OUT OF THIS, MELVIN. LISTEN,
SON. YOU WANNA LIVE HERE WITH US?
219
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:24,769
WITH US? YOU'RE BRINGING THAT WOMAN
IN THE SAME HOUSE MY MOTHER LIVED IN?
220
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:28,907
SLEEP IN THE SAME BEDROOM MY MOTHER
SLEPT IN? I THINK THAT'S DISGUSTING.
221
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,575
THAT'S DISGUSTING, FRED.
STAY OUT OF THIS, MELVIN.
222
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:35,146
SON, YOU KNOW YOUR MAMA'S
BEEN DEAD FOR OVER 20 YEARS.
223
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:38,283
YEAH. YOUR MOTHER'S BEEN
DEAD FOR OVER 20 YEARS.
224
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,484
STAY OUT OF THIS, MELVIN.
225
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,032
ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOU
FORGOT ABOUT HER. WELL, I DIDN'T.
226
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,034
AND I'M NOT GONNA LET
YOU SMEAR HER MEMORY.
227
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:48,426
SMEAR HER MEMORY? I NEVER DID
NOTHING TO SMEAR YOUR MOTHER'S MEMORY.
228
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,830
I BEEN FAITHFUL TO HER. ALL I
KNOW IS YOU FORGOT ABOUT HER.
229
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,832
YEAH, YOU FORGOT
ABOUT HER, FRED.
230
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,801
[ Lamont, Fred ] PLEASE
STAY OUT OF THIS, MELVIN.
231
00:13:56,870 --> 00:14:00,538
AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING. YOU
GOT A PLOT RIGHT NEXT TO MOM'S.
232
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:03,441
NOW YOU GETTING MARRIED AGAIN,
HOW'S THAT GONNA WORK OUT FOR LATER?
233
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,077
I CAN GET A PLOT
FOR MY NEW WIFE,
234
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:09,314
AND THEN WHEN I GO, YOU
CAN JUST DROP ME BETWEEN 'EM.
235
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:19,924
I THINK THAT'S DISGUSTING. I THINK
THE WHOLE IDEA IS DISGUSTING.
236
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:23,561
YEAH, IT'S DISGUSTING, FRED. I
KNOW. STAY OUT OF IT, MELVIN.
237
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,075
I'M GOING DOWN TO THE DINER, BUT
I WANT YOU TO KNOW RIGHT NOW...
238
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:30,134
THAT I THINK THE IDEA OF YOU GETTING
MARRIED AT YOUR AGE IS RIDICULOUS.
239
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,604
SHUT UP, MELVIN.
240
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,647
SAY, POP, YOU HOME?
YOU BETTER BE HOME.
241
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,676
HELLO, SON. I
THOUGHT I HEARD YOU.
242
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,519
WHAT ARE YOU ALL DRESSED
UP FOR? I'M NOT DRESSED UP.
243
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:52,323
THOSE ARE YOUR GOOD PANTS.
YEAH, BUT I'M NOT DRESSED UP.
244
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,159
I WAS WATCHING THE
GALLOPING GOURMET,
245
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:59,430
AND HE SAID THAT DINNER WAS THE
ONE MEAL WHERE YOU SHOULD BE FESTIVE.
246
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:04,135
SO I PUT ON MY NEW PANTS
HERE SO I CAN BE FESTIVE.
247
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:08,006
COME ON OVER AND SIT DOWN
AND I'LL BRING YOUR DINNER TO YOU.
248
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:11,609
AND HAVE SOME... SEE,
ANOTHER THING IS WINE.
249
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:14,656
THAT'S ANOTHER THING MAKES
IT FESTIVE. GOOD FRENCH WINE.
250
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,614
HEY, POP. HMM?
251
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:18,616
THIS IS MOGEN DAVID.
252
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,753
WELL, I COULDN'T GET
FRENCH, SO I GOT JEWISH.
253
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:28,359
HAVE A TASTE OF WINE.
I'LL GET YOUR DINNER.
254
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,709
AND IT'S GONNA BE FESTIVE.
255
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:39,670
HERE YOU ARE. PORK CHOPS
AND FRIED APPLE RINGS.
256
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,951
THAT'S YOUR FAVORITE,
AIN'T IT? IT SURE IS.
257
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:46,077
HAVE SOME MORE OF
THIS GOOD WINE HERE.
258
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:49,580
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO HAVE JEWISH WINE WITH PORK.
259
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,224
YOU COOKED THIS? I DIDN'T
KNOW YOU COULD COOK LIKE THIS.
260
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,260
ME AND THE GALLOPING GOURMET.
261
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,996
THIS IS GREAT. TALK ABOUT
MAKING UP FOR YESTERDAY.
262
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:08,333
WHERE'S YOURS? AREN'T YOU
GONNA EAT? I'LL GET MINE IN A MINUTE.
263
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,768
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
IT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
264
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:13,282
YOU KNOW WHAT I PICKED
UP ON THE WAY HOME? WHAT?
265
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,239
A BRASS CUSPIDOR. NO KIDDING.
266
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,842
WE CAN SHINE IT UP AND
SELL IT AS AN ANTIQUE.
267
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:21,579
YEAH. YOU KNOW, IN THE OLD DAYS,
268
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,859
EVERY SALOON HAD A CUSPIDOR.
269
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:27,785
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
NOTHING BUT A BAR AND A CUSPIDOR.
270
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:30,989
NOWADAYS YOU GO IN A PLACE,
THEY GOT SEATS, STOOLS, BOOTHS.
271
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:33,591
LOTS OF PLACES TO SIT
AND NOWHERE TO SPIT.
272
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,496
GOOD EVENING.
273
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,498
DONNA.
274
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,973
DONNA, THIS IS MY SON
LAMONT. LAMONT, DONNA HARRIS.
275
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,709
LAMONT.
276
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,857
PLEASE SIT DOWN
AND FINISH YOUR MEAL.
277
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,650
YOUR FATHER HAS TOLD
ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
278
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,897
YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK
LIKE YOUR FATHER.
279
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:06,491
REALLY? EVERYBODY SAYS
I LOOK LIKE MY MOTHER.
280
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,827
THAT'S TRUE. WITHOUT THAT MUSTACHE,
HE WOULD LOOK LIKE HIS MOTHER.
281
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:19,303
EVEN THOUGH SHE DID HAVE
SOME FUZZ ON HER TOP LIP.
282
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:26,544
- YOU REMEMBER THAT, DON'T YOU?
- AREN'T YOU GOING
TO FINISH EATING?
283
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,980
- I'M NOT HUNGRY.
- I MADE IT ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
284
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,028
YOUR FATHER SAID IT
WAS YOUR FAVORITE.
285
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,318
IT WAS WHEN MY
MOTHER USED TO MAKE IT.
286
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:38,556
HOW DID YOUR MOTHER USED
TO MAKE IT? USED TO BURN IT.
287
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,164
THAT'S A LIE AND YOU KNOW
IT. SHE WAS A TERRIFIC COOK.
288
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,799
BURNED EVERYTHING.
289
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:52,203
SHE BURNED THE BREAD,
THE MEAT, THE SALAD.
290
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:55,339
HOUSE WAS ALWAYS FULL OF SMOKE.
291
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:59,143
ALL MY FRIENDS THOUGHT I WAS
GETTING MY CLOTHES FROM A FIRE SALE.
292
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:02,613
HOW DARE YOU TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT
MY MOTHER IN FRONT OF THIS WOMAN.
293
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:06,584
I WAS ONLY TELLIN' THE TRUTH.
YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER...
294
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:10,621
PLEASE! NOW,
LAMONT, NOW, LAMONT...
295
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:13,569
I TAKE IT YOU DON'T APPROVE OF
YOUR FATHER AND I GETTING MARRIED.
296
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:16,860
- DO YOU MIND TELLING ME WHY?
- 'CAUSE IT'S RIDICULOUS,
THAT'S WHY.
297
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,896
HE'S TOO OLD, AND YOU'RE
GONNA BE MISERABLE.
298
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,566
WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS IT,
BEING THE WIFE OF AN OLD MAN?
299
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:25,369
WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU THINK IT IS
BEING THE FATHER OF A YOUNG DUMMY?
300
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:28,573
DON'T CALL ME NO YOUNG DUMMY!
301
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,476
AND DON'T TRY TO TELL ME
NOTHING ABOUT MY MOTHER.
302
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,278
PLEASE! PLEASE, STOP IT!
303
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,782
LAMONT, I THINK YOU OWE
YOUR FATHER AN APOLOGY.
304
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,552
AND I OWE HIM
ONE ACROSS HIS LIP.
305
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:45,456
AFTER ALL, HE IS YOUR FATHER, AND
YOU OUGHT TO SHOW SOME RESPECT.
306
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,570
TELL THAT DUMMY.
AND, FRED, YOU BE QUIET.
307
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:50,306
WHAT? YOU ONLY
MAKE THINGS WORSE.
308
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,397
YOUR SON HAS A RIGHT TO HIS OPINION,
AND HE HAS A RIGHT TO DEFEND HIS MOTHER.
309
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:57,067
SO BE QUIET. YOU DON'T TELL ME
HOW TO TALK TO MY SON, WOMAN.
310
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,870
AND DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR
VOICE AT ME, FRED SANFORD.
311
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,918
I'LL RAISE MY VOICE WHEN I GET
READY. NOT TO ME YOU WON'T.
312
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,654
YOU AND ANYBODY ELSE. YOU DON'T
TELL ME WHEN TO RAISE MY VOICE.
313
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:09,118
I AIN'T TAKE NO STUFF OFF MY FIRST
WIFE AND I AIN'T GONNA TAKE NONE OFF YOU.
314
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,919
I'M BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND
WHY SHE DIED SO YOUNG.
315
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,988
WELL, YOUR OLD MAN...
316
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,658
YOUR HUSBAND DIDN'T LIVE
TOO LONG EITHER, DID HE?
317
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:25,563
I'M GLAD I FOUND OUT
ABOUT YOUR BAD TEMPER.
318
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:28,832
AND I'M GLAD I FOUND OUT
ABOUT YOUR BIG MOUTH.
319
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:32,936
IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME,
I'LL JUST GET MY COAT.
320
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,539
UH, DONNA.
321
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,286
WAIT A MINUTE. WHERE
YOU GOING? I'M LEAVING.
322
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:40,044
I DON'T SEE ANY REASON
TO STAY ON. DO YOU?
323
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,472
LISTEN. I DIDN'T
MEAN TO UPSET YOU.
324
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,694
YOU GONNA LET A LITTLE
ARGUMENT RUIN ALL OUR PLANS?
325
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:49,253
YOU SAID SOME VERY NASTY
THINGS TO ME, FRED. VERY NASTY.
326
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,300
BUT WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE COMPATIBLE.
327
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:54,692
IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF
YOU WAS TAURUS THE BULL.
328
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:59,063
BUT YOU NOT A BULL.
YOU LEO THE LION.
329
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:02,400
WELL, THAT'S TRUE.
WELL, WILL YOU STAY?
330
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:06,537
IF YOU'RE REALLY AND TRULY
SORRY. I REALLY AM TRULY SORRY.
331
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:09,240
HONESTLY? HONESTLY.
332
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:12,376
ALL RIGHT. I'LL STAY. GREAT.
333
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:15,279
COME ON BACK OVER
HERE AND SIT DOWN.
334
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:19,684
HEY, SON, I TOOK BACK ALL
THE THINGS I SAID ABOUT DONNA.
335
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,097
NOW EVERYTHING'S
ALL RIGHT AGAIN.
336
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:26,757
OH, REALLY? EVEN THE PART
ABOUT HOW SHE'S OVER THE HILL?
337
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:29,227
WHO SAID THAT?
338
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:31,729
HE DID. LAST NIGHT, WHEN
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU.
339
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:34,332
WHAT YOU WANNA
BRING THAT UP FOR?
340
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:38,068
AS LONG AS YOU TAKING STUFF BACK,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL TAKE IT ALL BACK.
341
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,971
THERE'S NO NEED TO STARTING OFF YOUR
MARRIAGE WITH SECRETS BETWEEN YOU.
342
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,675
DID YOU SAY THAT ABOUT ME?
343
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,677
I DON'T REMEMBER.
344
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,780
IF I SAID IT, I DIDN'T MEAN
IT THE WAY IT SOUNDED.
345
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,960
JUST HOW DID YOU MEAN IT?
346
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,917
WELL,
347
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:59,156
I MIGHT HAVE SAID FOR SOMEBODY
THAT WAS OVER THE HILL, YOU WASN'T BAD.
348
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:05,263
AND-AND IF YOU PUT
ON SOME DARK GLASSES,
349
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:08,499
PEOPLE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO
SEE THEM BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES.
350
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:13,804
WELL, I THINK THAT
JUST ABOUT DOES IT.
351
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:17,074
WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU ARE VERY MUCH OUT OF LINE,
352
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,809
MR. SANFORD.
353
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:22,079
IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA SHUT ME UP
EVERY TIME I GET READY TO SAY SOMETHING,
354
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:24,081
THEN YOU CAN FORGET
ABOUT THE WHOLE THING,
355
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:26,128
MRS. HARRIS.
THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
356
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:30,020
I'M LEAVING. BYE.
357
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:33,190
I SHOULD HAVE REALIZED YOU HAVE
THE MANNERS OF A COMMON JUNK MAN.
358
00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:37,060
AND I SHOULD'VE REALIZED THAT YOU AREN'T
OVER THE HILL. YOU DOWN IN THE VALLEY.
359
00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:47,705
YOU NOT LEO THE LION!
360
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:49,740
YOU DONNA THE BARRACUDA!
361
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,748
I SHOULD'VE KNOWN SHE WAS
GONNA TURN OUT LIKE THAT.
362
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,318
IT'S A GOOD THING
YOU FOUND OUT IN TIME.
363
00:22:00,386 --> 00:22:02,886
YEAH. I AIN'T GONNA LET
NO WOMAN WALK OVER ME.
364
00:22:02,955 --> 00:22:05,856
YOU REALLY STOOD UP
TO HER. YOU HAVE TO.
365
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:07,325
I WAS PROUD OF YOU.
366
00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:10,138
YOU GOT TO GET THINGS STRAIGHTENED
OUT RIGHT IN THE BEGINNING.
367
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:12,095
RIGHT. RIGHT.
368
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,834
YOU KNOW, SON,
369
00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:19,870
I DON'T REMEMBER SAYING
SHE WAS OVER THE HILL.
370
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:24,141
YOU DON'T, HUH? NO.
371
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:26,243
I WAS SURE YOU DID. HEY, POP.
372
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:28,245
DID WHAT'S-HER-NAME
MAKE ANY DESSERT?
373
00:22:28,314 --> 00:22:32,082
SHE MADE SOME HOT SWEET POTATO
PIE LIKE YOUR MAMA USED TO MAKE.
374
00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:34,985
I HOPE IT'S BETTER THAN
MAMA USED TO MAKE. I'LL GET IT.
375
00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:38,389
HEY, UH, SON.
376
00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:41,459
I REALLY DON'T REMEMBER...
377
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:43,505
SAYING SHE WAS OVER THE HILL.
378
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,730
YEAH, WELL... BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
379
00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,931
WHAT? SHE IS.
380
00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:52,002
I'LL BET SHE'S OLDER THAN I AM.
381
00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:54,271
[ Knocking On Door ]
382
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:57,708
I'LL BET THAT'S HER COMING TO
APOLOGIZE. TELL HER IT'S TOO LATE, POP.
383
00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:00,978
I'LL TELL HER. I DON'T
ACCEPT NO APOLOGIES.
384
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,581
I'LL TELL HER. YOU DON'T
NEED TO APOLOGIZE...
385
00:23:03,649 --> 00:23:07,317
HELLO, FRED. I GOT A GIFT FOR
YOU. CONGRATULATIONS, MAN.
386
00:23:07,387 --> 00:23:10,588
I WISH YOU A LOT OF LUCK AND
EVERYTHING. I KNOW. STAY OUT OF IT, MELVIN.
387
00:23:10,656 --> 00:23:13,624
BUT I GOT TO RUN. MANY HAPPY
RETURNS. BUT WAIT A MINUTE.
388
00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:15,626
MELVIN. MELVIN.
389
00:23:20,199 --> 00:23:23,834
WHAT IS IT, POP? MELVIN JUST
GAVE ME A WEDDING PRESENT.
390
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,881
LET'S SEE WHAT IT IS. I
DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A CHANCE...
391
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:28,265
TO TELL HIM IT WAS ALL OVER.
392
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,842
AW.
393
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:33,844
READ THE CARD THERE. WHAT IS IT?
394
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,846
IT'S A POPCORN POPPER.
395
00:23:37,650 --> 00:23:40,684
IT SAYS: “TO THE SANFORDS,
TO THE HAPPY COUPLE,
396
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:44,254
“MAY YOU HAVE A LONG LIFE
POPPING ALONG TOGETHER.
397
00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:47,836
THAT'S SWEET OF HIM.
YEAH. YOUR FRIEND MELVIN.”
398
00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:49,860
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO GIVE IT BACK TO HIM.
399
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,361
WHY?
400
00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:54,732
GIVE ME THE CARD AGAIN.
IT SAYS: “TO THE SANFORDS.”
401
00:23:55,902 --> 00:23:58,280
WE THE SANFORDS,
AIN'T WE? RIGHT.
402
00:23:58,304 --> 00:24:00,771
“TO THE HAPPY COUPLE.”
WE HAPPY, AIN'T WE?
403
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,774
RIGHT. AND A LONG LIFE TOGETHER.
404
00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:05,643
WE DESERVE THAT. RIGHT.
405
00:24:05,711 --> 00:24:08,345
WELL? LET'S POP
SOME POPCORN, POP.
406
00:24:08,414 --> 00:24:10,347
LET'S GET TO POPPIN'.
407
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,759
SAY, POP, I'M HOME. POP.
408
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:28,766
HELLO, SON. I THOUGHT
I HEARD YOU COME IN.
409
00:24:28,835 --> 00:24:32,269
DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE
GONNA DO IT AGAIN. WHAT?
410
00:24:32,338 --> 00:24:34,249
EVERY TIME THE TABLE
IS SET UP AND THERE'S A
411
00:24:34,273 --> 00:24:36,340
GOOD SMELL AND NOISE
COMING OUT OF THE KITCHEN,
412
00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:38,342
THEN THAT MEANS
THERE'S A WOMAN HERE.
413
00:24:38,410 --> 00:24:41,979
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- OKAY, LADY,
YOU CAN COME ON OUT NOW!
414
00:24:46,452 --> 00:24:48,652
HELLO, LAMONT. IT'S ONLY MELVIN.
415
00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:50,933
HE BROUGHT US SOME
PIG FEET. I'M SORRY, POP.
416
00:24:50,957 --> 00:24:54,291
YOU SHOULD BE SORRY 'CAUSE I
AIN'T GONNA NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN.
417
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:58,161
I LEARNED MY LESSON. I AIN'T MARRYING
NOBODY. I DON'T CARE WHO IT IS.
418
00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:00,909
- YOU DON'T CARE
WHO IT IS, HUH?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
419
00:25:00,933 --> 00:25:05,402
WELL, I'LL BET YOU IF YOU HAD THE
CHANCE TO, YOU'D MARRY LENA HORNE.
420
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,773
I WOULDN'T EVEN
MARRY LENA HORNE.
421
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:13,310
SAY, MELVIN, IF YOU HAD THE CHANCE,
WOULDN'T YOU MARRY LENA HORNE?
422
00:25:13,379 --> 00:25:15,524
YOU JUST STAY OUT OF THIS, FRED.
423
00:25:15,548 --> 00:25:17,481
I'LL MARRY LENA HORNE.
424
00:25:25,758 --> 00:25:29,927
[ Lamont ] SANFORD AND SON IS RECORDED
ON TAPE BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
35440
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