Original subtitles

RuPaul: Previously on RuPaul's Drag Race...

You'll be making a dancing documentary about disco, baby.

♪ We are the queens of disco ♪

[laughter and applause]

Kandy Muse.

It was a little too plain for RuPaul's Drag Race.

Tamisha Iman.

I'm still getting fear in your eyes when you're performing.

Olivia Lux.

I had a good time watching you.

I thought I was back in the disco days.

Con-drag-ulations. You are the winner of this week's challenge.

[cheers and applause]

Kandy Muse, shantay you stay.

[sobs]

Tamisha Iman, sashay away.

Ooh, mama.

Sending Tamisha home was bittersweet,

because I wanna be here.

I did my job, I lip synced.

But it feels so weird,

because the victory, I thought I was gonna feel,

like, ha ha, I sent Tamisha home,

is like, oh, I sent Tamisha home.

And I felt a little guilty.

"Till we meet again. Love, Tamisha."

How do you feel, girl?

Girl, right before Ru made her decision,

like, what went through my mind

was, like, I am about to lose everything that I worked for.

Listen, I know for a fact

that I don't wanna end up in the bottom two again,

so, bitch, snap out of it

and get your head in the fucking game.

Con-drag-ulations.

[cheering]

Thank you, my loves.

I've been safe a lot,

so it's been good to finally get a top tier moment.

It's just surreal.

Learn, grow, and win, bitch.

I mean, I just can't like you because you beat me,

but it's cool, it's cool.

[all laugh] But you're still in the top,

so congratulations to you and Elliott as well.

I broke the safe streak.

-Okay. -Moving on up.

Everybody watch out.

It's actually kind of odd, because two girls have gone home

that have both been in groups with me.

Ooh!

I'm not gonna say it's a coincidence, but...

[all laugh]

There's the double T curse.

It's the double T curse.

On that note, get the hell outta drag.

I feel like the girls aren't going out of their way

to try to be friends with me,

because I'm coming off awkward and weird,

and I wanna have that sisterly bond with people.

At this moment, we're all each other has.

I feel myself just sinking

and feeling like that sad little kid

with no friends all over again.

And so I just gotta focus on

getting my shit together at this point,

because I'm all that I have here.

[all laugh]

Aah!

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

RuPaul: The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With extra-special guest judge Ts Madison.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

-Aah! -Wow!

Oh, Lord.

In the words of Celine Dion, it's a new day.

We have been here for 6.000 weeks,

so it's time to pick the bitches off one by one.

Is anybody dreaming weird while you're here?

Yes!

Last night I had a fucking crazy,

really vivid nightmare

where I went home and I woke up like...

I think it's time we make that dream reality!

[all laugh]

Hello, hello, hello!

[cheering]

Hi!

Yes, ma'am!

-My queens! -Hi!

Now, you've all been through a lot together.

Now it's time to open your hearts

and express how you truly feel about each other.

And I know just the trick.

The library's about to be open.

Because reading is what?

-Fundamental! -Fundamental!

Exactly, darling.

First up, Rosé.

Oh!

Way to do this, bitch!

Oh, she's ready.

She's ready, baby.

The library is open.

LaLa Ri, bitch, this look is sickening, girl...

is something nobody said to you during the ball challenge.

[all laugh]

Kandy.

You have eaten tons of it.

[all laugh]

Bitch.

[imitating Gottmik] Gottmik.

You are so L.A.,

even your farts have a vocal fry.

Olivia, your teeth are whiter

than Utica and Gottmik trying to twerk to disco.

[all laugh]

Utica, bitch, you're fucking weird.

RuPaul can walk up in here in cargo shorts,

and I would still vote you

the most confusing thing in the room.

[all laugh]

Tina, if this whole drag thing doesn't work out for you,

you and them shoulders have a gorgeous career in the NFL.

Tight end.

No, not what I heard.

[screams and laughter]

Kandy Muse, it is so amazing

how we represent such different communities here:

gay, trans, pug.

[screams and laughter]

Miss Rosé, your personality reminds me

of a piece of Perdue chicken: white, bland, and unseasoned.

[all laugh]

Denali.

-Meh, forgettable. -Ooh.

Miss Utica, you are weird, you are creepy,

and for those reasons, my dear,

I want you to suffocate me with your big dick.

[all laugh]

-What? -Denali.

You do got a fat ass, bitch.

-Thank you. -And that's great,

because you're gonna need something to land on

when she sends you home.

[all laugh]

Tinta Burnter!

How much Tina have you actually burned, bitch?

[all laugh]

We all wanna know!

Symone, you're so oily

I could definitely see you in a Dawn commercial.

[all laugh] Dahlia.

Uh, uh, Dina.

Aw, bitch, I can never remember your name.

Uh, Yucatan? Right. [all laugh]

Rosé.

When I think of rosé,

I think of expensive, beautiful champagne.

But when I look at you, I think of tap water.

[all laugh]

Kandy Ho--I meant Kandy Muse is a ho.

The only time you're not talking is when you're getting fucked.

Joey told me that.

[all laugh]

Scottish Rosé, you are like a wine.

You're everything a basic white girl would want.

Every time I'm around you I get a headache,

and every time I look at your face, I just see sour grapes.

-Oh! -Ooh!

Utica, the new Dorian Corey of Drag Race.

I mean, where are those bodies hidden?

you frickin' freak?

[all laugh]

Miss Kandy Muse,

you're one of those girls that loves to be mad, sis.

Well, I actually have something for you.

Here's a cape.

Now you can be super mad

and fly the hell outta here, girl.

[silence]

[chuckles]

Gottmik, you are so known for your mug, sis,

but I really think you mean mug shot,

because you're--having a face like that is criminal.

[silence]

Welp, I think the library is officially closed.

It may have just been burned down.

[all laugh]

Now, if reading a queen to filth is a true art form,

then one of you bitches is a creative genius.

Gottmik, con-drag-ulations.

You are the winner of today's mini-challenge.

You've won a $2.500 gift card from ISLYNYC.

[cheers and applause]

Now, squirrel friends,

this competition is designed to keep you on your toes.

For this week's maxi-challenge,

you need to improv for your life.

Okay.

When you appear on the trashy talk show...

Bossy Rossy After Dark.

[applause]

The reboot!

I'm going to assign the segments randomly from left to right.

All right, Rosé, LaLa Ri, and Denali,

you're booked for the segment

I'm Pregnant With My Imaginary Boyfriend's Baby.

[all laugh]

Gottmik, Utica, and Olivia Lux, you've been booked

for Breaking My Silence: Escape From The Cult Of Mimeology.

[all laugh]

Symone and Kandy Muse, you've been booked

for the segment Former Teen Queens: Where Are They Now?

And finally, Tina Burner and Elliott With 2 Ts,

My Best Friend's 600-pound Ass Is Killing Our Friendship.

I'm really excited about an improv challenge,

but Jesus be a biscuit, Elliott's my partner.

Now, remember, there is no script,

so listen, react, and let the comedy flow.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win!

-Here we go. -Yes.

"The concept: a rocket scientist

wanted a booty as big as her brains."

[snorts]

How are you feeling about this?

I know it's an improv challenge.

Like, I mean, have you done improv before?

I haven't done, like, traditional improv before,

but I'm really confident

about being able to bounce back and forth with you.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just a little concerned we're gonna go out there

and Elliott's gonna, like, shut down.

But I got my foot on the pedal now. I'm driving.

What if she jumps in the fucking crosswalk?

I don't wanna have to hit her.

But I will.

For today's maxi-challenge,

we're gonna be appearing in the trashy talk show

Bossy Rossy After Dark, the Ru-boot.

Tiffany Gibson and Little Deb-Deb,

where are they now?

"Two former teen pop reality TV stars

who used to be infamous BFFs."

We're pretty much playing white girls, bitch.

We're playing girls from California,

Valley girls, bimbos, airheads.

It's gonna be so good.

You and I are gonna play characters,

we open our banjee hood, bitch.

But, like, Michelle made it very plain

that she wants to see something, like, different.

You're from the south South Bronx, and you keep it real.

It's always the same, and it kind of doesn't go anywhere.

So the judges wanna see more range from me,

so I definitely wanna apply that critique

because I'm not trying to land in the bottom two again.

You're leaning towards Little Deb-Deb, right?

-Yeah. -Okay.

I will take Tiffany.

Tiffany.

I went from first class to coach.

I feel like you are being very quiet.

I think we need to be very much the characters,

but, like, over the top.

I think I can do something like, yeah.

Cute, okay.

I...

[laughs]

I understand that Kandy

wants to really apply the critique from the judges,

but I don't know if that's necessarily the best route

for this particular challenge.

You know, last time I checked,

uh, I just think that little Miss Deb-Deb...

Cricket.

At the end of the day, we have to be over the top,

have fun, and be funny,

and whatever direction

Kandy decides to go with this character,

I hope that it is all of those things.

-Oh, my God. -Aah!

I am genuinely scared for us.

[giggles]

I'm pregnant by my imaginary boyfriend.

I wanna be Molly.

I wanna be Polly.

I'm really feeling comfortable with that.

And I can be Dr. Melinda.

You think so? Okay.

LaLa and I definitely flopped in our acting challenge.

So we have this great opportunity to redeem ourselves,

and there's no better way to do that

than to play off of somebody

that has improv and acting experience like Rosé.

LaLa, like, in our acting challenge,

I think that what held you back

was the pressure of, like, memorizing lines and shit.

That's what held me back.

-There's not lines. -Yeah.

Like, we can literally say whatever the fuck we want.

I mean, I act the fool all the time.

You're funny as fuck.

Honestly, after the last acting challenge,

I took my critiques and I went to my room

and I started watching different TV shows.

And Martin Lawrence is one person that I'm studying,

so Sheneneh is my inspiration.

Sheneneh Jenkins. Single and loves to mingle.

So what is your guys' experience with comedy?

I love improv.

I go to tons of improv shows,

I was in an improv troupe for four years.

-Yeah? -Werk!

I've been known as a scene stealer

in my improv troupes.

I feel like the girls

are gonna have to really put out a lot of energy

so I don't steal the scene.

"Gloria Allpink.

"former mimeology member turned advocate.

"Cheryl. Recently left the cult of mimeology.

"Still doesn't speak.

Bella: Cheryl's loud and self-centered mom."

Initially, do you guys have any characters that you like?

Gloria's fucking funny.

I'm really liking Cheryl, just not talking.

I'm liking Cheryl, too.

I think I would, like, destroy Cheryl.

I would destroy her.

The mime role is all physical comedy,

and I think I'd be able to kill it

because that's what I do.

I love those faces, and I've done mime work before,

so it's, like, ooh.

I'm really feeling Cheryl.

-It's all about physical comedy. -It's a risk,

but I think I'm, like, totally up for the risk.

I think I want Cheryl.

I don't know if I could do these other parts,

and you are this improv expert

that has been to improv university.

I feel like we should read,

because maybe that'll tell us the tea

between you two for that.

-Cute. -Shoot.

We're rereading the script,

I'm pretending like I'm open to other characters.

But at the end of the day, I'm getting Cheryl.

I think in general, like, we should be strategic in this.

And I'd rather play into the strengths on the team

rather than, like, picking and choosing.

I agree.

I also think that you could kill both.

I think you should take Cheryl.

-So we got it. -Let's do it.

Oh, my God!

I'm getting suspicious, Olivia.

I'm getting real suspicious.

Olivia is a motherfucking secret diva, okay?

But I think at some point during this competition,

you gonna have to own up to the fact

that you're a motherfucking diva.

I don't care if it's the polite diva,

but it's a motherfucking diva.

Who knows? I might land in the top again,

Yeah, it's gonna be fun.

Ross: After the video of me and the traffic cone got leaked,

my talk show was canceled.

But I'm fighting my way back

with a new digital series from my own backyard.

So don't forget to subscribe to Bossy Rossy After Dark.

Welcome to an all-new episode of Bossy Rossy After Dark.

[crickets chirp, dog barks]

Now, my first guest claims

that she's in love with her imaginary boyfriend.

And get this. She's pregnant with his baby!

Cuckoo!

[laughter]

Please welcome Molly

and her imaginary boyfriend Jared.

[dogs bark] Oh, don't mind the dogs.

Their bark is worse than their bite.

Come on in.

Just flip the latch.

-Oh, there it is, sorry. -Jared--

Pregnancy brain, Ross.

Come on, baby, hold my hand.

Thank you. Please have a seat.

I would love to.

Can you get my back?

Thank you. Thank you, Jared.

Now, Molly, how did you and Jared first meet?

I was about five years old, actually,

and I was having one of my legendary tea parties,

and he just popped up out of nowhere.

It was like he was so transparent with me

from the moment we met, you know what I'm saying?

I do.

No, I'm not too forward.

Which of Jared's body parts is your favorite?

Oh, definitely the penis.

[all laugh]

Molly, sorry to tell you,

but Jared has been seeing another woman.

Jared!

And that woman is here right now!

Oh, Rossy, don't do this to me!

Please welcome your mother Polly!

Well, howdy-diddly-doo!

Dogs! [dogs bark]

Come on in, Polly, come on in.

Thank you.

Take a seat right next to Jared.

I'll have a seat right on my man.

You better stop, Mama!

Get your ass outta my man-- oh, no!

[all laugh]

I've got a little bit of news for you, missy.

If you haven't noticed,

I'm pregnante!

I had a feeling!

Tell me, who's the daddy of your child?

Surprise to nobody.

It's this fine-ass specimen right here: Jared.

You better stop spinning lies, telling porky pies.

All right, calm down, ladies. Sit down!

Sorry, Rossy.

It's the prenatal vitamins, I'm sure.

Can this family be saved?

To find out, please welcome Dr. Melinda.

Whoo, baby, this is nice right here!

Ooh, baby, I thought I was in my neighborhood.

-Dr. Melinda. -Yes, my love?

How do we mend them?

You know what, do you trust him?

Let me ask you this question. Do you trust him?

Of course I trust him! He's my man!

I did this once to exorcise some cats,

but let me try it with you.

Get on up, everybody. I'm gonna ask you,

because you said you trust Jared, right?

I want you to fall back and let him catch you, okay?

Sorry, Jared's gonna catch her?

-Jared's gonna catch her. -Okay.

Dr. Melinda, this is really gonna work?

Just gimme one second. I gotta do my stretches.

Warm it up, girl.

LaLa definitely isn't giving as much as the other two.

Miss LaLa, I'm gonna need you to be loud,

act stupid, and go in!

One...fall!

-Oh! -Oh!

-Jared! -Oh!

The baby, Jared!

[all laugh]

Now, you said you trust this man, and he let you fall.

And you mean to tell me a man that lets you fall

will come in between the mother and the daughter love here?

Mama!

Molly!

You wanna hug me?

[both cry]

Oh, so lovely!

It's a viral moment!

Now that we got that out the way,

I have secrets of my own.

-Wait, what? -Secrets?

Now, I have been counseling Jared myself.

And for payments, he been landing low.

And now I'm nine months pregnant.

-Yes, baby! You see that? -Oh, no!

It's not my skin color, but it's a baby bump.

I feel kind of unstable.

-Unstable? -Unstable!

The baby's coming!

I'm going into labor, too!

Oh, no! I'm going into labor as well!

Oh!

[babies cry] Oh!

I don't know if it's a boy or a girl, but it's cute.

Mine's got a bit of a wonky eye.

Wait a minute. None of them look like Jared.

But if Jared's not the daddy...

find out who is, on the next Bossy Rossy After Dark!

What in the hell is going on?

At the end of the scene, I feel great.

-We fucking killed it. -Oh, look at the baby!

Audience: Bossy Rossy

After Dark.

You know, ever since I was a little boy,

I always wanted to become a mime.

But you know, horizontal stripes.

So imagine my shock when I discovered

that mimes are part of an international cult!

To tell us more, please welcome

the author of How I Escaped the Cult of Mimeology,

Gloria Allpink.

[applause] Oh, hi!

[dogs bark] Shut up, dogs! Shut up!

Thank you so much for having me.

-Yes, have a seat. -Thank you.

Now, mimeology.

People are usually pretty silent on this community.

Mimes. Not talking, Ross.

They're not talking.

I talk about it in my book. Did you read it?

Of course I did!

-You did? -No.

Oh, okay, okay.

Like, you believe that Mik is a psychiatrist.

Chapter three, stripes.

Fashion statement or imprisonment, Ross?

I never thought about it like that.

I know. You cannot make this shit up.

Now, you work with a lot of recent ex-mimes.

Oh, I do.

Well, here to break her silence

for the very first time,

please welcome recent mime escapee Cheryl!

[applause]

[dogs bark] Here she comes.

So sorry, Ross. I need to get this.

She's all tied up.

Don't worry, Cheryl.

Oh, gosh. See, Ross, this is mimeology for you.

Yeah, yeah, just don't let the dogs out.

Come on. Come on, you got this, Cheryl.

Come on, Cheryl.

-No, right there. -Oh, no, Cheryl.

Now, Gloria, Cheryl hasn't spoken for over 20 years.

Is that true?

20 years. Yes, 20 years.

But she gets closer and closer to breaking out of her box.

Now, could you translate if I ask her a question?

Of course.

Now, Cheryl, how does it feel to be free?

[all laugh]

Oh, she feels ecstatic.

But also, it's hard, Ross.

[all laugh]

What was life like in the cult?

She's--she had to clean a lot, Ross.

Oh, I know that one!

They let you do that in the cult?

Yep, they do, Ross.

They let her churn butter all day.

How did you finally get out of there, Cheryl?

-She opened the door. -Yeah.

Got out of her box.

Finally escaped.

-She walked, she ran. -Yeah.

It was a windy day, and she's running, Ross.

She's just running away from that cult.

-So windy. -Where are you going? Oh.

Oh, she stopped for ice cream.

She had a break, she had a break.

She was running fast the whole time.

But she's running again, I think. Yes, yes.

[all laugh]

What is she doing now? What is this?

Oh, she's tired.

She's so tired from running.

Girl, Olivia is turning it with no fucking lines.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

You are so brave.

Well, a little birdie told me

that you haven't seen your long-lost mother

in over 20 years.

It's time for a Bossy Rossy reunion!

Come out, Mother Bella!

Oh, my God, I love these bushes.

Right over here.

Hi! Hi.

Oh, wow.

-Come on in! -Sorry I'm late.

I was at the Starbucks and I wanted a tall drink,

but they gave me an even taller drink,

and I just cannot deal with it. I just can't.

-I just can't. -Okay.

I need something smaller. Smaller.

So you can talk, can't you?

Dear, why don't you just take a seat right there?

I'm a little confused with Utica's character.

[laughs]

She's supposed to be her mother, but she looks like a hooker.

What's with the nails, Edward Scissorhands?

You know what, Utica? I get it now.

You're coming over to trim the bushes at Ross' house.

Bella, I gotta ask.

What is it like to see your daughter after 20 years?

Ever since I sent you away,

I've been thinking about you every single--

I haven't been thinking about you.

But oh, my goodness, I just can't tell--

you were such a loud, loud, loud child. Shh!

[hisses]

You see this? She's sold out.

[hisses]

Well...

I just can't.

Oof.

[laughs]

I'm gonna have to intervene.

I'm kind of thinking you might be the reason

Cheryl got into mimeology in the first place.

-[scoffs] -Now, Cheryl,

here is your chance to break your silence.

What if you used your first words in 20 years

to talk to your mother?

What's it gonna be?

And you know, I'll step in,

because I cannot stand this loudness

and I just cannot even--

-Shut up, mother! -Cheryl!

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Aah!

[gasps]

This is a viral moment!

Bossy Rossy, this is exactly what I needed.

I don't need you anymore, Mother!

I can live free!

This is classic my book, you guys.

This is what it's all about.

[all laugh] Werk.

Another Bossy Rossy exclusive.

-Thanks, ladies! -I just can't believe this!

I'm looking at the group,

but in reality, I'm looking at Mik and Olivia.

And I feel like Utica's there, but it's not hitting.

Child, Utica...

you in danger, girl.

[sobs] Whoo!

Audience: Bossy Rossy...

After Dark.

Our next guest was the teen star of her generation.

But today she can't get arrested,

so I booked her on our show!

[laughs] Please welcome Tiffany Gibson.

Oh, my God, what a backyard. [dogs barking]

-Hi! -What poor person lives here?

[all laugh]

Welcome to my home.

Now, our audience fell in love with you

on your reality TV show The Complicated Life.

Yes.

But since then, crickets.

No, listen.

[crickets chirp] Really. Crickets.

Now, what gave you your first big break?

Well, some of you may know

I released my first sex tape, One Night in Tiffany.

I remember that one!

-It was good, huh? -Yeah, I didn't see it.

You should.

I don't even have a VHS player anymore.

[gasp] You little bitch.

[all laugh]

Kandy's risk of not being so over-the-top is working.

What about those rumors out there

about you and Little Deb-Deb having a feud?

Well, the ratings were low, the fans were not happy,

so I fired her from The Complicated Life.

Do you even know where Little Deb-Deb lives?

I haven't heard of Little Deb-Deb in years.

Well, I know where she lives.

Where's that?

In a condo across the street!

Please welcome your ex-best friend, Little Deb-Deb!

Surprise!

You shady bitch!

Ross, bitch, how does this work?

Gotta tell the gardener about that gate.

Now I gotta sit right down. Ooh, child!

It is so good to see you, Little Deb-Deb!

Oh, no, no, not Little Deb-Deb.

No, we're scratching that, diva.

It's Deborah now.

[all laugh]

Well, welcome, Deborah, and say hi.

Hellur.

It's good to see you two reunited.

Is it?

[all laugh]

We're not starting off very high-energy.

The other girls did really, really well,

and I don't want us to do this,

and then we get there and then do that.

Little Deb-Deb, what have you been doing with yourself?

Well, darling, ever since, you know,

the fiasco with that show, I got into candles.

I even got you one.

I'd love a candle!

Yes, this one's called Fame.

Fashioned it after myself.

Oh, delusional.

And this one is called Betrayal. [laughs]

And this one's for you!

Oh!

A gift.

Isn't that nice, Tiffany?

What a lovely--oops.

Okay, bitch.

Deborah, what is your lowest moment?

I think my lowest moment would have to be...

Having to go to the slammer.

It was a hard time for me, Deborah.

"Me, Deborah." [laughs]

I had to get a mug shot, you know,

and they put it in the papers.

And they called me desperate,

and that's what the inspiration for this one came from.

Desperation.

[all laugh] Yes, Symone.

What did you get arrested for?

They said I was prostituting.

I didn't even know that's what that was!

I mean, I just thought people gave you money

when you gave 'em fellatio!

[all laugh] Whoo, baby.

I just thought at this point, just be fucking funny.

A damn fool.

You know, it's traumatic.

We have to get it to a 10, diva.

I see two friends here who are dying to make up.

-Mm-mm. -No, mm-mm.

Friends who are better together!

-Ugh. -Mm.

Two friends who ruled the world!

-Mm! -Mm!

-Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm.

And could rule it again!

You right.

Would you please do me

and all your fans around the world a favor?

What?

Sing a little bit

of your hit song Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Row Your Boat?

We should.

Do it, do it, do it!

Hold on.

I think we could do it.

Oh! [all laugh]

♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪

♪ Gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, oh ♪

[all laugh]

♪ Life is but a dream ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Oh, my gosh, that's how you do it, ladies!

We didn't do what everyone else did,

and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I don't know. We'll have to see when we go to the main stage.

All right, ladies, thank you so much.

Ooh, girl, get me out of this poor-people backyard!

All right, that's a cut. We're off?

All right. I hate candles.

Audience: Bossy Rossy...

After Dark.

Aah!

My first guest is a rocket scientist

who says her life really blasted off

when she got butt implants.

All the way from NASA,

please welcome Fanny and her 600-pound ass.

[dogs barking] Hello.

Catch me on the side. How 'bout that?

-Aah! -[laughs]

Look at this body, honey!

Take a seat. Whoa!

Oh! Oh!

How's that for gravitation pull?

Wow! [all laugh]

What can you do with that ass?

Since leaving that, like, boring NASA life behind,

I teach ass-ercise!

-Oh! -Do you like?

-Yeah! -Yeah.

Talk to the ass, Bossy Rossy.

Oh. Hi, ass. Hi, ass. How are you?

Tina is giving me everything I need right now.

Uh-huh.

Fanny, I have to tell you,

personally, I love your big, fat ass.

But... not everybody does.

Here to say that your 600-pound ass

is tearing your friendship apart

is your best friend and NASA coworker Mary!

[applause]

[dogs bark]

Thank you so much for being here.

-Yeah, talk to the ass! -Oh, God.

How are you doing, Ross?

That's her mother?

No, it's her, like, former best friend, I think.

Oh.

What was your friendship like

before Fanny got a 600-pound ass?

Well, Ross, we were always in each other's orbit.

We worked together in the same department at NASA,

and we were always together.

And it's gotten so hard without her there.

Everybody talks about you now.

-What? -Yes.

You are an embarrassment to the entire corporation.

They just can't handle it

that I'm putting the "ass" in "massive," okay?

Oh, my goodness.

Mary, do you think there's a chance

that you and Fanny could ever be friends again?

Well, you know what, Ross?

I thought before I came here

that I wanted to be friends with her.

But instead, I thought maybe I should leave NASA, too.

What? What is going on?

You ready? Bam!

Oh!

Aah!

You fucking dirty little tramp!

Aah! How dare you!

How dare you!

Oh! This is a viral moment! Viral moment!

Talk to the ass! Talk to the ass!

Talk to that ass!

[all laugh]

I think we can figure out some other way

for you to work this thing out.

What do you suppose we do, then?

Well, I have an idea.

Tickle fight!

Wait, what?

Tickle her!

Like, hold on, it's like, what--stop! [giggles]

[all giggling]

Stop!

Ooh!

[all laugh]

Wait, wait, do it again.

-Do it again. Yeah? -Yeah.

Shh, don't speak! Don't speak!

I missed you!

[screams and laughter]

Miss Thing, I made out with Tina.

[moaning and groaning]

Wait, wait. Take my ass!

[screaming]

It felt like kissing somebody's uncle, girl.

[laughs]

I feel like Elliott definitely did not match Tina's energy

through this entire thing.

If you're not gonna match the energy that's bigger than you,

you're gonna get lost.

-Wait! Wait! -Take my ass!

Ladies, clean up, all right?

I gotta get out before the owners of this house get back.

Oh, uh-oh, here they come.

[car honks] Oh, here they come!

-Get outta here! -Oh, my God!

Ass-ercise!

Ross: Thanks so much for watching.

Don't forget to like and subscribe, please?

-Ooh! -Let's do this!

Running, running, running, running, running, running.

It's runway day,

and today we're gonna get to find out

what the judges thought of our trashy talk show.

Symone's a little bit nervous because the characters we played

were way outside of our comfort zone,

and I want her to snap out of it.

Like, bitch, I'm telling you we did good,

so stop worrying about it.

So, girl, how do you feel?

I know, like, I got in my head about it,

like, seeing your group and then seeing Utica's group.

And it sucks.

I second-guess myself a lot,

and I am very in my head a lot sometimes.

It comes from a lot of people-pleasing.

Like, just not wanting to, like fuck up

and make you disappointed in me or people, like, yell at me.

I just wanna be good, I just wanna be perfect.

Like, growing up, like,

my mom didn't necessarily put that pressure on me,

like you have to dir-dit-dit-dit-dah.

But it was just, like,

when you have an older brother who goes away,

like, who goes to jail, essentially,

and you see what that does to your mom--

So when I was really young,

my brother committed armed robbery

and he went away.

And that killed my mom.

It was like she completely left her body.

I just remember watching her,

seeing that and being in that moment,

being like, you cannot do this to her.

I just felt like I couldn't ever do anything

to make her disappointed in me.

And that's why Symone is so important to me.

It's almost like being a different person,

because she can make the mistakes.

She can do stupid things, and people loved it.

But, like, I could never do that.

-Yeah, I get it, girl. -Oof. It's frustrating!

My thing is I pray a lot, so...

You pray? You stay prayed up?

I pray. I stay prayed up, girl.

[laughs]

-Hey, Miss Thing. -Hi, angel.

So how you feeling about the challenge thing?

I mean, I'm feeling good.

I felt like we both did incredible.

I thought we did an amazing job.

But I just feel like whenever we came back in from the challenge,

everyone almost went out of their way

just to say how great you did.

Which you did do great.

But the second I came in, even though I did a good job,

they all just kind of were, like,

"You didn't stand up next to Tina

when it came to the energy."

Watching Tina perform, you could just tell

you went out there and had a fucking ball.

And Elliott, you were good, too.

The only thing is that Tina was such a big character,

that sometimes it was like, oh, we're losing who Elliott is,

and I was only watching Tina.

And it just, you know, you get to almost, like, a point

where it's like, it gets to you.

I think a lot of people have pushed you to the side

because they don't know who you are.

I think sometimes you're always so concerned

with being Elliott With 2 Ts

that you're never, like, Elliott.

I mean, to be completely blunt,

I think a lot of my insecurities

with, like, how I interact with others

comes from, like--

I have, like, a pretty severe case of clinical depression,

and I have since I was about 13.

And so I think that's why

I kind of put on that face, that mask.

Right, right.

Because I don't want anyone to think,

oh, girl, she has depression.

It really takes my breath away a little bit,

because, you know, it lets me know who he is.

And depression is such a hard thing,

and I know it so much firsthand.

My mom's had depression since I was a kid.

Without pills, my mom is a very different person.

You know, I grew up in a household of that, you know,

so I know how hard it is to be around,

and how hard it is to deal with it.

There are days, like, I didn't even know who my mom was,

you know what I mean?

And I get, like, really, really upset about it,

because it's such, like--

it's a really hard thing.

And it's, like, it gets me...

It gets me kind of emotional,

because it's, like,

I don't know what's, like, going on in your head.

Well, it's like my fiancé, he doesn't understand it.

He just thinks, oh, you're just upset.

But, like, I could be in a room by myself

or in a room surrounded by my best friends,

and if it hits, it hits.

It literally is something that I have no control over.

Yeah.

It's not just a feeling, it is something that, like,

is a chemical imbalance in my brain.

And I think that's why I kind of...

been a little too much for some of the girls.

I think, like, if you were real and honest with these girls

like you're being with me right now,

I think it would change drastically.

It makes you a real person.

I have 180'd with Elliott.

I think Elliott is a very complex person,

and knowing that now, these are the times

when you feel ashamed

that you made judgments about people

without talking to them first, and I'm guilty of that.

Stop being so hard on yourself.

It's a new day.

And stop trying to impress everybody else.

-Thank you. -Yeah, yeah.

Girl, it's so funny,

because yesterday we were on the talk show,

and, girl, there have been some talk shows on TV

that are ridiculous, like Jerry Springer.

Gimme some of your favorite TV moments, bitch.

My favorite TV moments is Maury.

It's when the girls run.

Oh, yes. [all laugh]

Like, the cameramen are Olympic sprinters?

The cameramen, those are track stars.

They are chasin' hos.

I'm gonna be Maury, you gonna be the baby mama.

Okay.

I need a cameraman.

I'll do it! You? All right.

-LaLa, stand in front of me. -Girl, I'm the boom.

All right, Miss LaLa Ri,

in the case of your four nine-year-old kids.

LaLa, Tina Burner is not the father!

-Aah! -I told you! I told you!

I told you! I told you, bitch!

[screaming]

I'm not the father! That's not my baby!

That's not my baby!

That's not my motherfucking baby!

Oh, my God! [all laugh]

I love that you wanted Tina to be the dad, like--

[laughs]

#Dad.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Cover girl, put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe, let your whole body talk ♪

And what?

Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage. Now, have you ever had an imaginary boyfriend?

No, but take my imaginary husband, please!

[all laugh]

And the hilarious Ross Mathews.

Now, Ross, would you consider yourself

a bossy bottom or a bossy top?

Ru, I'm not bossy.

[all laugh]

She's a 21st-century renaissance woman,

the irrepressible Ts Madison.

Hey, Ru. Oh, my God,

the woman I learned how to be a woman from.

You better step your pussy up.

Ooh! [laughs]

Get a job, suck a dick.

Hold on. Go slower. I'm writing it down.

[all laugh]

This week, we challenged our queens

to get sketchy on Bossy Rossy After Dark.

And tonight on the runway, category is Bead It.

Racers, start your engines, and may the best drag queen win.

♪ Bring back my girls ♪

RuPaul: Up first, Denali.

Ts: Clap on!

[all laugh]

Denali: This look is one of my all-time favorites,

and it's a design that came straight from my mind.

I've been obsessed with lamps

since I was, like, a little baby boy,

and I told myself years ago

one day I'm gonna walk on the main stage

of RuPaul's Drag Race

dressed as a massive chandelier.

Ross: How many drag queens does it take

to screw in a light bulb?

RuPaul: Rosé.

Michelle: Oh, hey, Stinkerbell!

Rosé: This look is a total labor of love.

There are so many hours of work going on here,

and thousands of beads.

I'm like a little Tinker Bell made of plastic.

Ts: Clap your ass if you believe.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: LaLa Ri.

Oh, when the taints go marchin' in.

[all laugh]

LaLa: I love to shake my ass,

and I'm gonna shake my ass all the way down this runway.

I am very proud of this look.

I'm gonna take you to Mardi Gras today.

Whoo, child.

Ts: Creole Lady Marmalade.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Gottmik.

Bottoms up!

Gottmik: This week, I chose the anal option.

I'm giving this sixties mod dress,

and then I have

a full anal bead inspired latex headpiece.

I just wanted to give you something campy

and fucking funny.

RuPaul: Anal mountain high enough.

[all laugh]

Olivia Lux.

Is the double-Dutch bus still running?

Olivia: When I think beads,

I think little Black girls with beads in their hair.

With my beaded jump rope,

and I have this custom denim overall skirt

fully covered with beads and stones.

Ts: I like her pattycakes.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Syracuse, Schenectady, Utica.

Michelle: Something old, something new,

something bloody?

Utica: I am serving this bloody bride,

but she's got this dark side,

and she's killed her husband and she's walked in his blood,

and just killed him with all these different kinds of beads.

RuPaul: I married Satan.

Oh, my God, I married Satan, too!

[Ts laughs]

RuPaul: Kandy Muse.

Ts: Classy and flashy.

And trashy, too.

[all laugh]

Kandy: This is the most beautiful

I am going to ever look.

I am wearing my huge hat

with beads like a cascade of diamonds.

I have my nipples softly caressed with some tassels.

I look like sex walking down this runway.

Ross: You know you're a whore

when your beads are dragging on the floor.

Ts: Mm-hmm.

RuPaul: She delivers in 30 minutes or less.

Symone.

Michelle: Oh, y'all wanted beads?

[all laugh]

Symone: You wanted a gag on the runway?

Well, honey, here it is.

My runway look is inspired

by Glamazonian, Zulu African warrior,

all of these things spun up into one.

I am feeling just so strong

and ready to kick your ass if I need to.

Quintessential Symone happening right now.

Ts: Get into it.

RuPaul: What's her name again?

Symone!

Tina Burner.

Ross: I'd ride her Mardi Gras float.

[crack]

Michelle: Oh!

Tina: This is a very Tina Burner take on beads,

and I'm feeling this Mardi Gras fantasy.

I have taken Michelle's tips.

She wanted bigger hair.

I am listening, and I'm trying here.

Michelle: Her cups actually do runneth over.

Ross: At least she's covered up--oh!

Never mind.

Ts: We call that a Mardi-bra.

Ross: Titty-burner.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Elliott With 2 Ts.

Ross: Flapper? I hardly know her!

Elliott: I'm a 1920s flapper on Bourbon Street.

I really wanted to take

the bulky material like Mardi Gras beads,

but still make it slimming and sophisticated and classy.

Ts: How great is your Gatsby?

Welcome, queens. I've made some decisions.

When I call your name, please step forward.

Tina Burner.

Gottmik.

Denali.

Rosé.

Ladies, you are safe.

You may leave the stage.

Ladies, now it's time for the judges' critiques,

starting with LaLa Ri.

Your outfit tonight is cute.

Your hair is fun, your makeup's beautiful.

I'd wear this to one of my old jobs.

[all laugh]

But what I noticed is that there's a rip on your side,

and it's pretty big.

And I know the show must go on,

but you gotta do what you can do to make sure I don't see it,

because that's where my eyes will go.

All right, let's talk about the Bossy Rossy challenge.

You were in with Denali and Rosé.

They were loud, and I felt like

you just sort of tried to blend in.

And as I looked back,

I kind of couldn't remember that much about what you did.

I think that you let the girls smother you out.

This is Season 13, girl.

Listen, you got to go hard or go home.

[sighs] Yeah.

Up next, Olivia Lux.

Hi.

You were the mime.

A regular mime is not gonna work on this show,

but a drag mime, which is kind of what you gave us--

over the top, stupid, and ridiculous--

it's what I kind of live for.

I don't know how to say this, um...

[all laugh]

You did great!

And it was such a risk,

because it could have been so bad.

I love this look.

It's just very Punky Brewster,

it took me back to the old school.

Thank you.

Up next, Utica.

This look is twisted in every kind of right way.

It's also why you don't serve red wine at a wedding.

[all laugh]

When I watched you perform,

-Aah! -I wrote "unique."

And I think that you rely on that a lot,

that jump out and wah.

When you came out,

you were talking about Starbucks for most of the time.

I wanted a tall drink.

I kind of was not following where you were going.

I felt like you hit a couple--

I'm thinking baseball here--

a couple second-base, um...

[all laugh]

Anyway, I was looking for a home run,

and I think you made it to first.

Up next, Kandy Muse.

I relate to Tiffany Gibson.

I am Tiffany Gibson.

And there's an air of desperation

that I was pleasantly surprised that you brought.

I loved how you hit back with me.

What poor person lives here?

You called me a bitch in the first 30 seconds.

I said, "This girl is quick. She almost Ts Madison, girl."

[all laugh] Tonight on the runway,

I was very, very happy with this look.

-Whew! -When it's right, it's right.

You look beautiful.

Up next, Symone.

This outfit, it is absolutely stunning.

Thank you so much.

It's fashion, but it's edgy and fun and you.

Let's talk about the challenge.

There was such an ease with you.

You weren't a bulldozer,

but you can't be in improv, right?

You have to listen, you have to answer,

and you were so fun to play with,

and it felt very in-the-moment with you.

Bitch, I got one word to say.

-What? -Deborah!

-Deborah, darling. -Deborah!

[all laugh]

Up next, Elliott With 2 Ts. Wow, look at this outfit.

You have never looked more beautiful than you do tonight.

Thank you.

From Elliott With 2 Ts to Elliott With 2 Tit-Ts.

[all laugh]

-Talk to the ass! -Oh, my God.

I didn't really get who you were,

other than that you were mad at Tina

because she got a big ass.

But, like, who were you?

We actually were in love with each other.

-Huh. I didn't quite get that. -Okay.

I was, like, she kind of dry.

-Yeah. -Until the titties popped out.

I was like, oh, there they go.

There it is right there.

And then it kind of was just...

I just want you to put a little water

on your coochie, girl, because it's dry.

Okay. [laughs]

Yeah, I was gonna say that, too.

[all laugh]

Thank you, ladies. I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I will deliberate.

All right, now just between us squirrel friends,

whaddaya think?

LaLa Ri.

The runway look tonight, it was cute.

It wasn't the same level as some of the other girls.

If Bob Mackie has taught us anything,

it's the placement of the beads

should actually accentuate the curves on your body.

In the challenge, she was not terrible,

because she had some really funny lines.

I did love that moment, though, with her belly,

when she showed that it was 50 shades whiter.

But one moment isn't enough when it's crunch time.

Olivia Lux.

Olivia looked so adorbs.

She had a unique take on the beads idea.

It took me back to a time when I was really--

really, really young and vulnerable.

[all laugh]

I don't believe that for one second.

[all laugh]

Now, if somebody would have asked me,

hey, should I do the part that's the mime,

where I don't get to speak, I would not have advised it.

But Olivia took this character

that could have literally been nothing

and made it the star of the show.

Not since Patty Duke

and her Academy Award-winning role as Helen Keller

-have I seen an actor-- -You are stupid.

She stole the show. Utica.

On the runway, she looked beautiful, actually.

I kind of really dug what she was wearing.

But in the Bossy Rossy challenge,

Utica gave me blue balls.

Because she walked out on that Bossy Rossy set

looking, honestly, gorgeous and sexy,

and I thought, I cannot wait to see what she brings.

And then she brought me a latte.

[all laugh]

Kandy Muse.

In Bossy Rossy, Kandy was a joy to play opposite against.

When I tossed something to her...

You bitch.

She didn't have to search for a punchline or something funny.

She was just able to drive the story,

and that was so effortless.

And tonight on the runway for me was such a step up. Wow.

That nude there, I was, like, girl, I need that.

I got to go to work tomorrow.

If Kandy can allow herself

not to let the competition get to her,

she could do amazing things.

Symone, Symon-yay.

As Little Deb-Deb, I was howling

from the minute she couldn't get through the gate.

She walked over the gate, y'all, in a mini-dress.

Symone has the ability

to make the audience feel at ease.

A lot of performers, you see them

and you sort of cringe a little bit,

because they feel uncomfortable

and it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Not with Symone.

Listen, Symone really knows how to deliver a look,

and tonight was no exception.

Not only did she have hair beads in her hair

spelling out her name,

but she also had hair beads all over her outfit!

Come on. That is one of the greatest outfits

we've had on this stage.

Elliott With 2 Ts.

I will say this.

Elliott's been sort of underwhelming for me

on the runway.

But tonight, this is probably by far

the best look she's ever had.

But in the main challenge, that was a tough one for me.

She sort of disappeared behind Tina Burner,

and, you know, you can't blame her.

Tina was everywhere. She had her ass up in my face.

I haven't had that much ass in my face since--what time is it?

[all laugh] The point is, like,

if you're in a scene with somebody like that,

you've gotta compete at that level.

I feel like she got lost in the tits.

She tried to describe what their objective was in the scene,

but it wasn't enough.

I don't think they had fleshed it out enough.

Well, if you don't flesh it out enough,

you definitely will get lost in the tits.

Oh, yeah, you certainly will.

And if you don't flesh it out enough,

you won't have any repeat customers.

[all laugh] You in trouble.

Silence!

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

-Where they at? -Bring back my girls.

Bring 'em back! Where they at?

♪ Bring back my, bring back my, bring back my ♪

Bring back my girls!

Welcome back, queens.

I've made some decisions.

Olivia Lux.

Watching you this week,

I had the mime of my life.

Kandy Muse, Symone.

This week, you really row, row, rowed our boats.

Olivia Lux, con-drag-ulations.

You're the winner of this week's challenge.

Oh, God!

Oh, my God! [applause]

You've won a cash tip of $5.000.

Werk!

Oh, she's rich!

Aah! [laughs]

Oh, my God!

Back-to-back wins!

Kandy Muse, Symone, you are safe.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

You three may join the other girls.

Whew.

You're rich, bitch. Aah!

Bitch, I want a thousand.

[all laugh]

Elliott With 2 Ts.

Your runway was jazz hot,

but in the challenge, you were not breast in show.

Utica. Your bloody bride was O-positive,

but the reviews of your mime mom were negative.

LaLa Ri. On the runway, you took us to Mardi Gras,

but your pregnant therapist did not deliver.

Utica.

You're safe.

Thank you, RuPaul.

You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

Love you!

LaLa Ri, Elliott,

I'm sorry, my dears, but you are up for elimination.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

and save yourself from elimination.

The time has come... [thunder]

for you to lip sync...

[echoing] for your life!

LaLa turns it out when she has to lip sync,

but I'm confident in myself.

I know where my strengths are,

and it is in performing.

Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

[music plays] What'd you say?

This is my body. Come on, girl.

♪ You ain't know ♪

♪ Texas women do it bigger ♪

♪ What, say it ain't so ♪

♪ In the south it gets no realer, baby ♪

♪ Pot full of grits ♪

♪ I'm hotter than your mama's supper, boy ♪

♪ Better get with it ♪

♪ Better watch your mouth, I might burn you, boy ♪

♪ You go, uh ♪

♪ Good love, I deserve it ♪

♪ If you're scared, go to church ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo, I'm a lover ♪

♪ Hold on tight, little country boy ♪

♪ I ain't no girl, I'm a boss with orders ♪

♪ All I'm needin' is a baby love me ♪

♪ Like a warm biscuit on a Sunday morning ♪

♪ I got what you want ♪

♪ I'm aiming to please ♪

♪ I got what it takes ♪

♪ I sure got the means ♪

♪ I got what you want ♪

♪ Sugar, honey, iced tea ♪

♪ All eyes on me, oh, oh, baby ♪

♪ I'm a whole lotta woman... ♪

When I perform, that's like my therapy.

It's just time for you to just release all of these emotions

and just leave it on the stage.

And bitch, I'm gonna give you the LaLa Ri experience.

♪ Hey, hey, ain't no competition, babe ♪

♪ It's just can you keep up with me? ♪

♪ I can't do a thing about my wicked ways with gravity ♪

♪ Higher than the leaves ♪

♪ They fall from trees like D-O-double-Gs ♪

♪ I reside in Tennessee ♪

♪ But Texas still flows deep in me ♪

[cheering]

I know Elliott's a dancer, but this is the first time

I ever wasn't bored with two splits in a row.

♪ I'm a whole lotta woman ♪

♪ I'm a strong, badass chick ♪

♪ With class and confidence, hey ♪

Go on, girl.

[applause]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Elliott, shantay you stay.

Thank you.

You may join the other girls.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

[applause]

LaLa Ri, I am so glad

the world got to taste the full LaLa Ri experience.

I just wanna thank you so much

for bringing my tiny ass all the way from Atlanta to L.A.

for this amazing opportunity.

I'm forever grateful.

Now sashay away.

-LaLa Ri! -I love you, LaLa!

[cheers and applause]

-We love you, LaLa! -LaLa Ri!

I'm feeling a little defeated.

I feel like I worked hard

to give the judges what they asked of,

and it still wasn't enough.

I just didn't know what they wanted.

I just couldn't figure out the missing piece.

This is not the last of LaLa Ri, darling.

This is only the beginning, darling.

She is coming to give you the LaLa Ri experience.

Ah-ha! [chuckles]

Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell are you going to love someone else?

Can I get a "amen" up in here?

-Amen! -Amen!

All right. Well, let the music play.

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

RuPaul: Next time on RuPaul's Drag Race...

Hi, queens!

[screaming]

Bam. We have Anne motherfucking Hathaway!

You'll be singing and dancing up a storm

in Social Media, the Unverified Rusical.

♪ These are the postings ♪

♪ Of a people who won't be duped again ♪

-Whoo! -Yes!

You sold the hell out of this.

You nailed it. Nailed it.

But you didn't really know your words.

No other girls from the winner's circle has gone home.

It doesn't matter if you're winning or losing. Like...

Your ass can be grass at any moment, honey.

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Finders, keepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪