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1
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And ready, here we go. Five, four, three, two...
2
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Good evening. Tragedy in Taiwan.
3
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Disaster in Denmark. Mayhem in Malaysia.
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Those stories and more coming up later.
5
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Tonight's lead story: the computer game phenomenon...
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...distributed by alleged Russian Mafia leader Konstantine Konali...
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...has taken the world by storm. Out of the cold climates of Russia...
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...comes the hottest computer game sensation...
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...simply called "The Game. " Ed?
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- Ed, what are you doing? - You gotta try this game. It's great.
11
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Not now, Ed. In the past six months...
12
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..."The Game" has generated over $1.5 billion in revenue...
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- ... breaking all previous records. - Get him, you miserable bear!
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What makes this game stand out? This is the first time that a video game...
15
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- ... has appealed to a youthful... - Ed!
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...as well as a more sophisticated market.
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- Oh, sh... - "The Game," available in cartridges...
18
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...as well as floppy disks for computer, has everybody playing.
19
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Take it, Lindsay, take it.
20
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The creator and mass-marketer of "The Game" is Konstantine Konali...
21
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- ... allegedly head of the Russian Mafia. - No, no, no!
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Konali and... What is he up to in Moscow?
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Get your hands off it.
24
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- Get your hands off the game! - I want that game!
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I'm not giving you my game! Give it to me!
26
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You're through at this station. You're through.
27
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,973
Misha, take care of Skippy.
28
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Ay.
29
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Leonid, Leonid, Leonid.
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Enough living in the shadows.
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Someday...
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...this will all...
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...be mine!
34
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This crime problem is out of hand. Yes, Boris Nikolayevich.
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We need help.
36
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I can recommend a man I met during the international conference.
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I understand he has already had dealings with Konali...
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...when Konali was in America.
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I will make this very clear.
40
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Can he help us get Konali?
41
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Yes, Boris Nikolayevich. He is just the man for the job.
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Keep me informed.
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Ah.
44
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Oh.
45
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,579
There you are, son.
46
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,336
How are the new recruits doing?
47
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:59,464
It might be the best class ever, except for one man.
48
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:03,885
- He's afraid of heights. - See what you can do for him.
49
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:09,516
I find that sometimes the least likely cadets make the finest police officers.
50
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,810
Commandant Lassard, throw us the ball.
51
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:16,773
Off the scoreboard...
52
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...off the floor, off the wall...
53
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,361
...off the redhead.
54
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Nothing but net.
55
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- Not bad. - I love this game.
56
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,261
Connors. Where's Connors?
57
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Thanks, Connors. You fixed it.
58
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,893
That's a classified police file.
59
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:56,855
"The academy has assembled a special team for a mission to Moscow. "
60
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,232
I'd kill for that job.
61
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,611
Webster's on the list. Why him?
62
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Because he graduated first in our class.
63
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,160
Yeah, well...
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...can he do this?
65
00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:16,375
Yep.
66
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:18,752
Can he do this?
67
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:24,341
- Yep. - That's all I got.
68
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:31,515
What are you doing?
69
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:35,769
- Well, I've never been to Russia. - Okay, now put it back.
70
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,063
Connors. Sergeant wants you.
71
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,733
- Yeah. Now.
72
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I'm so very, very glad to see you.
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00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,209
The Moscow police have asked us to assist them...
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- ... in apprehending Konstantine Konali. Russkies?
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The godfather of Russian organized crime.
76
00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:08,468
Men...
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Six years ago...
78
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...Konali helped to establish a branch of the Russian Mafia here...
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...in our country.
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Nearly got him then.
81
00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:24,985
Unfortunately, he slipped through our fingers and escaped back to Moscow...
82
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...where he continues his criminal activities...
83
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:32,868
...aided by his brother Mikhail and pet snake Skippy.
84
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Home run!
85
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:41,460
Now we get another chance to apprehend him.
86
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Man, what a wimp.
87
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:58,018
Connors, get down here. You're never gonna pass the test.
88
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I've gotta pass. My father was a cop.
89
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:04,649
His father was a cop. His father was a horse thief.
90
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:08,278
- You got vertigo. Let's go. - Vertigo. Ha!
91
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,905
I don't have vertigo.
92
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,907
Yo, Connors, you want a doughnut?
93
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,621
Not bad. Connors, let's face it.
94
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:20,665
You don't have what it takes to be a cop.
95
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,043
Take this to Commandant Lassard's office.
96
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:27,255
- He'll sign off on your dismissal papers. Bummer, dude.
97
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,715
Now, I want you to meet...
98
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...a new addition to our team.
99
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,680
- You must be Cadet Connors. - Hi.
100
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:39,392
I'm very, very impressed by your file.
101
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,394
- Cadet Kyle Connors. - Mm.
102
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Top grade average in the class.
103
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,358
Sir, I have to tell you something.
104
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Congratulations.
105
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:52,197
Thanks, but I'm not really the man in that file.
106
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,366
Oh, I know what you mean.
107
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:58,703
These reports never do give an accurate picture of who we really are.
108
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- Hm? - Yes, but...
109
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,666
Ow!
110
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,918
Ooh!
111
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:06,419
What the hell is this?
112
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Uh-huh.
113
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Come on, come on. Come on.
114
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:22,686
- Let's all pull together. Okay.
115
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:29,818
Okay, all together, on three! One, two, three!
116
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,740
Oh, God. - Sir!
117
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:39,995
Ah! Captain Harris, our expert in surveillance, will be accompanying us.
118
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Team, we're all off to Russia...
119
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...to kick many, many butt-skis.
120
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:12,277
Ah, Alexander Nikolaivitch.
121
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:22,495
Men...
122
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:28,793
...this is the honorable Commandant Alexander Nikolaivitch Rakov.
123
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,796
- Sasha. - May I say it is an honor...
124
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,342
...to have the great Commandant Lassard visiting our country?
125
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,677
- Yes, you may. - May I kiss you again?
126
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,221
- No, you may not. - May I escort you inside?
127
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:41,723
Yes, you may.
128
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:45,769
It is really wonderful to have you here in Russia.
129
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:47,979
Please say hello to your lovely wife...
130
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...and tell her I'm sorry she's not here with you.
131
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,902
Yes. Lieutenant Yuri Talinsky.
132
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Head of our organized crime unit.
133
00:10:57,615 --> 00:11:02,160
Please, don't underestimate the power of the Russian Mafia...
134
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:05,455
...the most sadistic organization in the world.
135
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,374
Katya.
136
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,422
This is Sergeant Katya Sergei.
137
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:17,550
She has been handpicked to be your guide and translator.
138
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:20,720
Lieutenant Talinsky, I hold you personally responsible...
139
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:24,891
...for the comfort and safety of the Americans and Commandant Lassard.
140
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:28,937
- Yes, sir. - Now, Americans and Russians...
141
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,023
...we must grab Konali like the insect that he is...
142
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...and we must then crush him!
143
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,862
- God. Make way. Jones. Jones.
144
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,614
- Jones. Make way. Make way. - Oh!
145
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,575
I am Captain Thaddeus Harris and in this case...
146
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...I have state-of-the-art American surveillance equipment.
147
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:49,332
I'll have this Konali business wrapped up for you in a few days.
148
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,670
Excuse me, Ricky. I must go to the toilet.
149
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,171
Yes, of course.
150
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:58,550
- Pardon me. Which is my car? - The one in front.
151
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:01,553
The one in front. Oh, yeah.
152
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,268
- What did he say? - Well, he said that you had...
153
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:12,939
...a marvelous attitude and you're a pleasure to work with, sir.
154
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:17,485
I'm going to keep my eye on you.
155
00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:25,744
The red zone is for Communist parking only.
156
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,498
The one in front.
157
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:35,170
The red zone is for Communist parking only.
158
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,589
Oh, hello.
159
00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:41,134
Lieutenant Talinsky didn't tell me his family would be here.
160
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,845
Very nice of you to come and greet me.
161
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:48,308
Katrina, I want you to think of me as America's goodwill ambassador.
162
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,227
And you think of me as translator and guide.
163
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Stop! Stop!
164
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:05,158
Ay! Ay-yai-yai-yai-yai.
165
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,076
I'm in deep borscht.
166
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:32,352
Captain Callahan, 511. Sergeant Jones, 513.
167
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:38,525
Sergeant Tackleberry, 514. Cadet Connors, 520.
168
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:42,570
Captain Harris, 515.
169
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:45,198
Not exactly a four-star hotel, is it?
170
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,618
Well, we spend our police budget on fighting criminals...
171
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,954
...not on pampering out-of-town visitors.
172
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,164
Your government brought us here.
173
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,333
They also bring in monkeys for zoo...
174
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:59,003
...but we don't put them in four-star hotel either.
175
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:04,259
Well, I just go check on Commandant Lassard.
176
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:13,560
Lassard. Lassard. You!
177
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:18,231
You.
178
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,192
- Hm-mm. - You.
179
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,994
I have job for you.
180
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:34,873
Again. When you hear door, you say:
181
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,166
"I'm in the bathroom. I'll meet you there. "
182
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:40,920
"I'm in the bathroom. Meet me there. "
183
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,132
Again.
184
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:48,553
"I'm in the bathroom. I'll meet you there. "
185
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:52,849
"I'm in the bathroom. Meet you there. "
186
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,022
Come in.
187
00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:02,400
Again!
188
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:08,615
"In the bathroom. Meet me there. "
189
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,664
Excuse me. Is the commandant in?
190
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:22,211
Well, I just saw him. He's very tired and enjoying moment of rest.
191
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:23,671
Ah. Thank you.
192
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:37,393
I have to get to next level. Eh...
193
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:46,569
- Looking for something, captain? - Bugs. You can never be too careful.
194
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:50,323
- Call me paranoid. - You're paranoid.
195
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:54,077
I'm down to one life. I can't make it.
196
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,371
Can I show you a little trick?
197
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,335
Watch. You just want the bear to go back three spaces. Right?
198
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,507
See?
199
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,970
It makes it to next level.
200
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,305
- I made it. Thank you. - Game.
201
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,311
Good morning, everyone.
202
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:27,318
I understand that your commandant will not be joining us today.
203
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,571
However, we will proceed with briefing anyway.
204
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,951
Konstantine Konali, Russian Mafia godfather.
205
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:38,830
Jones!
206
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:45,169
His brother and second-in-command, Mikhail Konali.
207
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:59,225
Konstantine Konali is involved in extortion...
208
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:02,520
...gambling, fencing jewelry, arms dealing.
209
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,647
But he does not choose to involve himself...
210
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:09,485
Too much cabbage. - ... in day-to-day running of operations...
211
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:13,072
...which makes it rather difficult to catch him. However...
212
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:16,826
...we know three places that he frequents regularly.
213
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,619
One: his restaurant...
214
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:21,289
...where he conducts meetings in back of office.
215
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,791
Two: his dacha. And three:
216
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,460
Hello. Hello.
217
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:30,548
His warehouse, where he conducts legitimate video games business. Now...
218
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,927
...we believe Konali is up to something big.
219
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:38,848
Unfortunately, attempts to infiltrate his operations have failed...
220
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:43,770
...but we will now work together and we will capture Konali.
221
00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:04,916
- Excuse me. Ow!
222
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,003
Adam.
223
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,880
So good to see you.
224
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:14,801
Thank you for inviting me, Mr. Konali. However, your delivery service...
225
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,929
...leaves a little bit to be desired.
226
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:22,141
I have the perfect plan, but I need your help.
227
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:25,478
- My help? - I want you to design a program...
228
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:29,107
...that will bypass any computer security system in the world...
229
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:32,151
...letting me have access to secret files.
230
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,945
You're talking about...
231
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,240
- ... a passkey? - Bingo.
232
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:40,368
- Nothing like this exists. - Create it.
233
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:44,831
I want to be able to tap into the world's banks...
234
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:50,253
...manipulate the world's stock markets, know what heads of countries know.
235
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,964
We could control the world!
236
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,634
Louder, Misha. I don't think all of Moscow heard you.
237
00:18:56,802 --> 00:19:02,348
Even if I did create this passkey, how will you get it into their computers?
238
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,600
I have already thought of that.
239
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:10,773
You, my dear Adam, will design a new version of "The Game. "
240
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:13,151
We will call it...
241
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,280
..."The New Game. "
242
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:20,158
And we will put the passkey in it.
243
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:23,703
When you slip it into your computer, bada-bing!
244
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:28,541
I will have access to impenetrable files. Pretty good, no?
245
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,378
Lassard.
246
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:35,715
Bah! Yankee police.
247
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,341
Ow!
248
00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:43,514
Boys, watch them.
249
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:45,975
I want to know their every move.
250
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,064
Good luck, babushka.
251
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:53,566
Uh...
252
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:59,655
"In the bathroom. Meet you there. In the...
253
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,407
In the bathroom. " Yes.
254
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,663
Sir, we have to go now.
255
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,460
- Sir? - In the bathroom.
256
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:16,339
- Meet you there. - Is everything okay?
257
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:21,802
The commandant is having some problems adjusting.
258
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,804
- He's gonna meet us there. - Oh.
259
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,226
Whew!
260
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:32,313
You know, in America, funerals are in English.
261
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,398
This where you live?
262
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,151
Good day.
263
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,200
I have a fish.
264
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:48,496
He lives in a bowl too.
265
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:56,420
You have a lovely, lovely apartment.
266
00:20:57,047 --> 00:21:01,133
Somehow, I feel quite at home here.
267
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,844
A Russki police academy. What a joke.
268
00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:06,138
Da, da, da-da-da.
269
00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:09,141
In Lassard's absence, I will do all the talking.
270
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:12,144
You'll say nothing, do nothing, watch your every move.
271
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:15,690
Be on your toes. Any false move could embarrass us all.
272
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:17,525
And don't trust these guys.
273
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:20,528
Just because we're buddy-buddy with them now...
274
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:23,990
...don't forget they were our sworn enemies just...
275
00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:29,328
Just a little while ago.
276
00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,957
- Move it. Move it, move it. Moron.
277
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:37,295
The topic for today is police field tactics.
278
00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:40,298
The Russian and the American approach.
279
00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:43,175
American police. Good.
280
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:47,221
Perhaps you can tell us about apprehending criminals.
281
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,265
- Me? - You. You.
282
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:05,823
Goodness' sakes.
283
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,117
- Major. - Sergeant.
284
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:12,038
Class, this is Sergeant Tackleberry.
285
00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:17,251
Okay. You know, as cops...
286
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,337
I don't have to tell you this.
287
00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:22,089
It's tough to uphold the law, but in the States...
288
00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:26,093
...we have to deal with constantly changing police regulations.
289
00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:30,139
I mean, take for example the excessive force issue.
290
00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:34,477
- I could use a volunteer. - Tackleberry, what are you doing?
291
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:36,145
I am in charge here.
292
00:22:36,313 --> 00:22:39,273
Captain Harris, perhaps you should demonstrate.
293
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:43,277
- Well, that's more like it. - Back in the old days...
294
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:47,239
...there wasn't anything you couldn't do trying to apprehend a perpetrator.
295
00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:51,160
Take for example the highly effective chokehold.
296
00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:52,912
Tackleberry!
297
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:57,083
Well, nowadays this is considered to be excessive force.
298
00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:01,504
Or...
299
00:23:01,671 --> 00:23:06,175
...the ever-dependable, always reliable PK-24 police baton...
300
00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:09,136
...which, with a single blow to the body...
301
00:23:09,304 --> 00:23:11,138
...say to the lower thigh...
302
00:23:13,683 --> 00:23:17,103
Renders a subject completely incapacitated.
303
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,439
But, no, no.
304
00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:24,777
Nowadays this too is considered to be excessive force.
305
00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:30,741
They want me to uphold the law...
306
00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:33,869
...but they tie my hands.
307
00:23:36,665 --> 00:23:39,333
Fortunately...
308
00:23:40,377 --> 00:23:43,295
...there's always Old Reliable.
309
00:23:44,297 --> 00:23:46,006
Why mess with success?
310
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,637
Uh, thanks.
311
00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:55,224
Have you seen Lassard?
312
00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:58,602
I have had it with you losers.
313
00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:02,106
I will capture Konali because I use my head.
314
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:05,901
Yeah, right. Think we can lose him?
315
00:24:06,903 --> 00:24:10,781
Excuse me. Is possible you help me?
316
00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:13,659
Sure. Uh...
317
00:24:13,827 --> 00:24:16,787
Why don't you guys run along and I'll catch up with you later.
318
00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:19,999
Uh-huh. Sure.
319
00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:27,047
Katrina, how can I help you?
320
00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:30,092
You ever want something so badly it hurts?
321
00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:33,471
- Yes. - And no matter how much you wait...
322
00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:37,516
...and hope and wait more, you don't get what you want?
323
00:24:37,684 --> 00:24:39,477
Well, yeah.
324
00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:44,857
But my advice is don't give up. Just go for it.
325
00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:49,445
- I want... - Thattagirl. Follow your heart.
326
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:53,240
- I want... - Say it.
327
00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:56,660
- I want my vacation. - What's that?
328
00:24:56,828 --> 00:25:01,081
I wait three years. Three years. Then you Americans come.
329
00:25:01,249 --> 00:25:03,083
Talinsky, he assign me to you.
330
00:25:03,251 --> 00:25:05,878
- Mm-hm. - Now I can't go.
331
00:25:07,380 --> 00:25:09,215
I have plan.
332
00:25:09,382 --> 00:25:12,009
Connors, I don't leave you...
333
00:25:14,137 --> 00:25:16,013
...without anyone.
334
00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:19,934
Come. I select suitable replacement for you.
335
00:25:20,101 --> 00:25:22,561
She's best in department.
336
00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:26,315
Yeah, I'm sure she is.
337
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:30,069
Look, all I know is Lassard disappear at airport.
338
00:25:30,237 --> 00:25:34,573
Organize search, find Lassard, but keep quiet.
339
00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:36,867
- What are you doing here? - Just browsing.
340
00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:38,327
Ah.
341
00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:43,415
Hey, Yuri, that translator, Katrina? Very good. She's excellent.
342
00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:45,501
All our people are excellent.
343
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:49,004
For instance, this is Irina Petrovskaya.
344
00:25:49,172 --> 00:25:51,423
She is expert in forensics.
345
00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:54,009
She can tell you everything about person...
346
00:25:54,177 --> 00:25:56,637
...just by looking at one hair from head.
347
00:25:56,805 --> 00:25:58,097
Ow!
348
00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:07,523
Hmm. My observations conclude this man is picky eater...
349
00:26:07,774 --> 00:26:09,191
...afraid of heights...
350
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:13,988
- ... and still a virgin. What?
351
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,909
I'm not a picky eater.
352
00:26:20,745 --> 00:26:23,539
Cadet Connors is also a forensics expert.
353
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:27,251
Maybe you'd be so generous as to share with us your expertise.
354
00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:32,673
- Uh, sure. - This one puzzles us.
355
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:37,469
We were able to remove only one fingerprint from scene of crime.
356
00:26:37,637 --> 00:26:39,555
This is our only clue...
357
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:41,348
...to identity of criminal.
358
00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:43,517
Okey-dokey.
359
00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:49,064
No wonder you're puzzled. This glass is all cracked.
360
00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:51,900
Enough!
361
00:26:53,069 --> 00:26:55,988
Next assignment, Chernobyl.
362
00:26:56,239 --> 00:26:57,948
Excuse me, lieutenant...
363
00:26:58,116 --> 00:27:01,910
...but the chief said you and your men would be available to us.
364
00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:09,251
Absolutely, Captain Callahan, and I have just the men for you.
365
00:27:17,802 --> 00:27:19,595
These guys are cops?
366
00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:23,223
You get the feeling that we're not wanted here?
367
00:27:23,391 --> 00:27:25,351
I'll tell you what we need to do.
368
00:27:25,518 --> 00:27:28,312
- We need to let Konali know we're here. - On his turf.
369
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,898
- Hit him where it hurts. I like that.
370
00:27:31,066 --> 00:27:33,317
- Get in his face. - Kick some butt.
371
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:34,777
Better get Katrina.
372
00:27:46,247 --> 00:27:49,667
Hey, bud. Nice work.
373
00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:52,961
It would be a shame to see this all go up in smoke.
374
00:27:53,129 --> 00:27:55,589
- How do you mean? - Accidents happen.
375
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:58,217
Fire breaks out, beam gives way, workers...
376
00:27:58,385 --> 00:27:59,718
Get out.
377
00:27:59,886 --> 00:28:02,471
Tell Konali I won't pay his extortion money.
378
00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:13,899
Hey, buddy. Commandant Lassard sends his regards.
379
00:28:14,859 --> 00:28:18,904
I can't tell you how it makes me feel...
380
00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:24,118
...to be received so very, very generously into your family.
381
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,219
Oh.
382
00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:09,788
I'll take matters into my own hands.
383
00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:11,623
What is he doing?
384
00:29:22,302 --> 00:29:25,971
- Sir, would you like to have lunch? - Meet me in the bedroom.
385
00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:29,141
In the bathroom.
386
00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:32,811
- Sir? Meet me there!
387
00:29:32,979 --> 00:29:35,481
Meet you there! Meet you there!
388
00:29:37,817 --> 00:29:40,068
This sewer stinks.
389
00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:49,828
So Americans leave without saying goodbye.
390
00:29:49,996 --> 00:29:53,999
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
391
00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:04,676
Oh, allow me.
392
00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:16,480
Ooh!
393
00:30:16,689 --> 00:30:18,190
This went rancid.
394
00:30:32,288 --> 00:30:33,831
I promise you this:
395
00:30:33,998 --> 00:30:36,583
After today, Konali's gonna know this cop's in town.
396
00:30:36,751 --> 00:30:40,712
This is a typical Russian bathhouse.
397
00:30:45,343 --> 00:30:47,761
Okay. So this is Konali's sauna.
398
00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:51,723
It's just a front. People come here to fence stolen jewels.
399
00:30:51,891 --> 00:30:54,560
All right. Let's get naked.
400
00:30:54,727 --> 00:30:56,812
Come on. Come on.
401
00:31:11,286 --> 00:31:12,578
Hello, ladies.
402
00:31:18,918 --> 00:31:20,752
Hi.
403
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,754
Nice place you got here.
404
00:31:36,436 --> 00:31:37,728
Freeze!
405
00:31:41,524 --> 00:31:44,985
You may resume...
406
00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:48,196
...whatever it is you were doing.
407
00:31:53,369 --> 00:31:57,372
Okay, okay. I should be right under Konali's restaurant.
408
00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:15,807
- Did you like the necklace? Oh, yes, my pushki.
409
00:32:15,975 --> 00:32:20,228
- How much? - In fact, it is all that I am wearing.
410
00:32:20,396 --> 00:32:21,939
I decided that from now on...
411
00:32:22,106 --> 00:32:26,818
...I will only wear diamonds, diamonds and diamonds.
412
00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:31,031
- Yes. - Really?
413
00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:34,534
KONALl: I'm going to see you later, right? Oh, I hope so.
414
00:32:34,702 --> 00:32:37,120
KONALl: I'm going to bring you big surprise.
415
00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:39,998
- What? - How about Big Skippy?
416
00:32:40,166 --> 00:32:42,501
- I love Big Skippy. - And Little Skippy.
417
00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:44,503
No, not the little one.
418
00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:48,215
- He bothers me. - All right. I call you later.
419
00:32:48,383 --> 00:32:51,510
Hey, move it. Down in front.
420
00:32:59,227 --> 00:33:02,104
Mr. Konali, we've got bad news.
421
00:33:02,271 --> 00:33:03,605
It's American police.
422
00:33:03,773 --> 00:33:07,734
They're messing with our operation again.
423
00:33:14,033 --> 00:33:16,576
No more. You hear me?
424
00:33:19,455 --> 00:33:24,042
As of this moment I am putting a contract out on Lassard and his team!
425
00:33:24,210 --> 00:33:26,294
We squash them!
426
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:30,590
My fish, Swimmy Lassard.
427
00:33:30,758 --> 00:33:33,885
He eats at this time every day.
428
00:33:41,060 --> 00:33:44,229
This will be fun, Vlady.
429
00:34:06,544 --> 00:34:08,378
Hey, you little punk, get lost!
430
00:34:08,546 --> 00:34:11,757
Hey, spread out!
431
00:34:13,509 --> 00:34:15,510
- You okay? - Yeah.
432
00:34:15,678 --> 00:34:18,972
Listen, just because they're good on bikes doesn't make them nice guys.
433
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:21,433
Man, look at you. Come on.
434
00:34:24,228 --> 00:34:25,937
This one's for you, kid.
435
00:34:26,105 --> 00:34:28,440
Now, check this.
436
00:34:37,825 --> 00:34:39,701
There. Don't miss.
437
00:34:53,549 --> 00:34:55,008
Vlady, get up.
438
00:34:59,806 --> 00:35:03,975
I hate dogs. I'm gonna shoot every dog I ever see.
439
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:19,199
What have we got here? A match with a red line through...
440
00:35:51,357 --> 00:35:53,942
I've been here for 30 minutes.
441
00:35:54,110 --> 00:35:56,486
Shouldn't we see if Konali's inside?
442
00:35:58,114 --> 00:35:59,531
The Russian work ethic.
443
00:35:59,699 --> 00:36:02,367
You know, Katrina, you take this job too seriously.
444
00:36:02,535 --> 00:36:04,744
You have to learn to loosen up.
445
00:36:04,912 --> 00:36:07,581
I want to loosen up.
446
00:36:07,748 --> 00:36:10,542
Had vacation planned. Go to beach.
447
00:36:10,710 --> 00:36:13,712
Now I sit on bench here with you.
448
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,881
You sure you speak with Talinsky?
449
00:36:16,632 --> 00:36:20,802
- Da, Talinsky. - I not understand.
450
00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:22,971
I should not be here.
451
00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:28,476
Well, you know, Katrina, sometimes you have to expect the unexpected.
452
00:36:33,482 --> 00:36:35,775
- I know your type. - My type?
453
00:36:36,235 --> 00:36:39,988
You just like to hunt fox. You like the chase.
454
00:36:40,156 --> 00:36:44,659
Katrina, go out with me tonight. Just one date.
455
00:36:44,952 --> 00:36:47,829
Give me a chance.
456
00:36:51,584 --> 00:36:54,252
I go out with you tonight.
457
00:36:54,420 --> 00:36:55,837
Excellent.
458
00:36:56,088 --> 00:36:57,923
Ladies and gentlemen.
459
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:02,093
I would like to introduce to you...
460
00:37:02,261 --> 00:37:07,015
...the world-famous circus family, Zemskova.
461
00:37:18,110 --> 00:37:20,278
It's the Zemskov family. They're great.
462
00:37:25,117 --> 00:37:28,119
They've been doing this act for over 100 years.
463
00:37:28,287 --> 00:37:31,164
They look amazingly spry for their age.
464
00:37:34,293 --> 00:37:36,795
The Zemskov family passed the act down...
465
00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:39,881
...from grandfather to father to son and daughter.
466
00:37:40,049 --> 00:37:42,884
It's tradition. Keep secrets in family.
467
00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:54,729
Ooh.
468
00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:57,482
Maybe that's one they should keep a secret.
469
00:37:57,650 --> 00:38:00,860
One more of those, it could be the end of the Zemskov family.
470
00:38:12,206 --> 00:38:17,210
And now Ivan Zemskovi will perform the impossible!
471
00:38:17,878 --> 00:38:21,673
The triple Salto Mortale.
472
00:38:32,184 --> 00:38:34,561
Ivan Zemskovi!
473
00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:36,187
I know.
474
00:38:36,355 --> 00:38:38,523
- Know what? - You lie.
475
00:38:38,691 --> 00:38:42,027
You tell me you get me off case as translator.
476
00:38:42,194 --> 00:38:44,779
- I'm sorry? - Instead you tell Talinsky...
477
00:38:44,947 --> 00:38:48,366
...I'm great translator. Translation:
478
00:38:48,534 --> 00:38:51,036
No vacation for me.
479
00:38:51,203 --> 00:38:52,954
So...
480
00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:55,498
...tonight I get even. Da?
481
00:38:55,666 --> 00:39:01,046
Let's hear it for the great artist family, Zemskov.
482
00:39:07,470 --> 00:39:12,223
Ladies and gentlemen, Igor and Andrusha.
483
00:39:12,433 --> 00:39:15,894
Excuse me. I have to go to the little clowns' room.
484
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:20,315
Get him.
485
00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:23,985
No, no, no, no. No, no, I'd like to, but I...
486
00:39:24,153 --> 00:39:26,196
No, no.
487
00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:30,283
I'll come back in five minutes. I will. I promise you.
488
00:39:30,951 --> 00:39:33,453
What is that? Is this gonna hurt?
489
00:39:33,621 --> 00:39:36,289
It's not even lubricated. Ah! Whoa!
490
00:40:03,150 --> 00:40:05,235
Don't you clowns know when to stop?
491
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:09,697
Let's do it. Don't be afraid. Close your eyes.
492
00:40:09,865 --> 00:40:12,117
Everybody, quiet!
493
00:40:18,207 --> 00:40:21,793
Huh? All right, listen here, Bozo...
494
00:40:40,521 --> 00:40:43,773
Don't forget, you're the one that called us for help, buster.
495
00:40:43,941 --> 00:40:47,068
Well, excuse me, buster, but I didn't place the call.
496
00:40:51,073 --> 00:40:53,825
Great, great subway. Terrific.
497
00:40:53,993 --> 00:40:58,163
I mean, New York is a shithouse, but this is great.
498
00:40:58,330 --> 00:41:00,665
Well, have you been able to capture Konali?
499
00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:02,417
We were this close.
500
00:41:09,341 --> 00:41:12,469
Listen to me and use my equipment, you can capture him in two days.
501
00:41:12,636 --> 00:41:14,137
Na, na, na, na, na, na.
502
00:41:14,930 --> 00:41:16,389
Na, na, na, na, na, na?
503
00:41:23,063 --> 00:41:24,522
Nah.
504
00:41:25,024 --> 00:41:26,483
Nah.
505
00:41:26,859 --> 00:41:29,777
- What about this Russian food? - You want borscht? We stop.
506
00:41:29,945 --> 00:41:31,321
I don't want any borscht.
507
00:41:31,655 --> 00:41:34,657
So now we're even. Da?
508
00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:38,453
Katrina, no. I had a wonderful time.
509
00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:41,372
All right. I had an awful time and I almost hurled...
510
00:41:41,540 --> 00:41:45,126
...but at least I got to spend some time with you.
511
00:41:45,836 --> 00:41:49,130
I had good time too.
512
00:41:50,216 --> 00:41:52,217
I'm sorry for what I did. I just...
513
00:41:52,384 --> 00:41:56,429
I just wanted to keep you around.
514
00:41:57,306 --> 00:41:59,807
It's okay.
515
00:42:00,809 --> 00:42:03,561
What are you thinking about?
516
00:42:03,729 --> 00:42:06,439
What's Russian for "kiss me"?
517
00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:11,152
I whisper it.
518
00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:27,919
It doesn't seem to lose anything in the translation.
519
00:42:30,881 --> 00:42:33,049
You know, Konali...
520
00:42:33,217 --> 00:42:36,386
...he's done many bad things.
521
00:42:36,762 --> 00:42:38,596
But he brought you here.
522
00:42:40,432 --> 00:42:42,934
Where does Konali hang out at night?
523
00:42:43,102 --> 00:42:47,313
- The casino. - Suddenly I feel the need to gamble.
524
00:42:53,445 --> 00:42:57,115
No more bets, please. No more bets.
525
00:42:58,617 --> 00:43:01,786
Mr. Konali, always a pleasure to see you, sir.
526
00:43:01,954 --> 00:43:04,789
Jacquot, would you show Mr. Konali to his table?
527
00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:07,959
That's him.
528
00:43:08,127 --> 00:43:10,378
Place your bets.
529
00:43:10,546 --> 00:43:13,965
- Have a nice evening, sir. - What if he finds out you're cop?
530
00:43:14,133 --> 00:43:18,011
Oh, he will, when I arrest him.
531
00:43:18,887 --> 00:43:22,932
Bartender, margarita, please.
532
00:43:42,411 --> 00:43:46,664
- There you go, Monsieur Bond. - How about a Perrier in a bottle?
533
00:43:57,801 --> 00:43:59,260
Whoa.
534
00:44:40,135 --> 00:44:41,594
Not bad, huh, Mr. Konali?
535
00:44:41,762 --> 00:44:44,722
Never before have I seen such an apparition.
536
00:44:44,890 --> 00:44:47,308
Let's get up.
537
00:44:47,476 --> 00:44:49,727
Right.
538
00:44:50,479 --> 00:44:53,064
Such a vision of womanhood.
539
00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:51,748
- Oh, yeah. - Mr. Konali, meet Debbie.
540
00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:56,669
Debbie. The name sings to me.
541
00:45:57,129 --> 00:46:00,131
Debbie
542
00:46:01,425 --> 00:46:02,925
- Yeah! - Ah.
543
00:46:04,386 --> 00:46:07,805
I'd say she's in. Be right back.
544
00:46:18,025 --> 00:46:22,320
- Could I get an autograph? - Hey, the boss is busy.
545
00:46:22,488 --> 00:46:26,073
- Sorry. This'll only take a second. - I said, the boss is busy.
546
00:46:26,241 --> 00:46:29,744
- Oh, God. - I tell you what. Why don't we...
547
00:46:29,912 --> 00:46:32,330
Why don't we flip for it? If I win...
548
00:46:32,498 --> 00:46:34,165
...I get the autograph.
549
00:46:34,333 --> 00:46:36,542
If you win, I go away.
550
00:46:36,710 --> 00:46:38,503
Ready? Call it.
551
00:46:46,178 --> 00:46:48,554
If you could just make it out to Freddie.
552
00:46:48,722 --> 00:46:50,014
Hey, kid.
553
00:46:50,349 --> 00:46:53,434
- You got a job? - No. I'm just here for the herring.
554
00:46:54,186 --> 00:46:55,853
You should come work for me.
555
00:46:58,982 --> 00:47:01,692
Kid like you can go far.
556
00:47:01,860 --> 00:47:05,029
Do you offer a dental plan?
557
00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:09,909
I love this kid!
558
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,786
Well, well, well.
559
00:47:11,954 --> 00:47:15,456
You can all go and play your little undercover games...
560
00:47:15,624 --> 00:47:19,210
...and when the time is right, I will arrest Konali.
561
00:47:33,809 --> 00:47:36,102
KONALl: I want to show you picture of my baby.
562
00:47:36,270 --> 00:47:37,562
Uh-huh.
563
00:47:37,729 --> 00:47:39,522
KONALl: This is the day I brought her home.
564
00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:40,982
Hmm.
565
00:47:41,149 --> 00:47:43,484
KONALl: Here she is at 10,000 miles. Ooh.
566
00:47:43,652 --> 00:47:46,487
KONALl: And this is after her first tune-up.
567
00:47:46,697 --> 00:47:47,989
Mm-hm.
568
00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:50,199
Nice car.
569
00:47:53,537 --> 00:47:57,832
- Do you own or lease? - Everything I touch...
570
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,917
...I own.
571
00:48:02,629 --> 00:48:06,090
You must have an awfully large payroll.
572
00:48:06,925 --> 00:48:08,968
KONALl: Enough about me.
573
00:48:12,222 --> 00:48:14,223
Tell me...
574
00:48:14,391 --> 00:48:17,018
...is that your real hair?
575
00:48:18,687 --> 00:48:22,273
Everything about me is real.
576
00:48:24,026 --> 00:48:25,318
Really?
577
00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:28,446
Really.
578
00:48:28,614 --> 00:48:32,700
I want to know all about you. I find you fascinating.
579
00:48:32,868 --> 00:48:35,745
We have an appointment with destiny.
580
00:48:36,830 --> 00:48:38,205
But not tonight.
581
00:48:39,791 --> 00:48:41,375
When?
582
00:48:42,210 --> 00:48:44,128
Tomorrow.
583
00:48:45,923 --> 00:48:47,882
Coffee and cake.
584
00:48:48,467 --> 00:48:50,217
I send my car for you.
585
00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:52,720
Nice car.
586
00:49:19,790 --> 00:49:23,000
Yoo-hoo! Commandant Lassard!
587
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:26,462
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
588
00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:29,799
Give me a cigarette. Did you see Konali's girlfriend?
589
00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:32,551
American-ski.
590
00:49:35,263 --> 00:49:37,682
Oh, nice tie-ski.
591
00:49:44,982 --> 00:49:48,192
Okay, get me some vodka.
592
00:50:09,339 --> 00:50:10,715
Damn!
593
00:50:10,882 --> 00:50:15,094
Why don't you try "from Russia with love"?
594
00:50:18,223 --> 00:50:21,058
"Russia with love. "
595
00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:24,145
Who are you? - None of your business.
596
00:50:24,312 --> 00:50:26,731
- What are you doing here? - Playing games.
597
00:50:27,899 --> 00:50:30,735
Hey, knock it off.
598
00:50:32,237 --> 00:50:34,238
Hey, cut it out.
599
00:50:34,740 --> 00:50:36,699
I know what you want...
600
00:50:36,867 --> 00:50:39,076
...but you can't have it.
601
00:50:40,370 --> 00:50:42,455
- What's wrong with you? - Did you know...
602
00:50:42,622 --> 00:50:47,168
...that I have been in this room for 72 hours straight with no food?
603
00:50:47,919 --> 00:50:50,421
Just me...
604
00:50:51,506 --> 00:50:52,923
...and the bear.
605
00:50:53,091 --> 00:50:55,092
No food?
606
00:50:55,510 --> 00:50:57,053
No.
607
00:50:57,220 --> 00:50:58,471
Nuts?
608
00:51:00,932 --> 00:51:04,101
- Your little game is over. - No, not yet.
609
00:51:04,269 --> 00:51:06,645
Tomorrow it'll all be over...
610
00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:09,607
...and Konali will have the power.
611
00:51:09,775 --> 00:51:12,443
Could you let me up now, please?
612
00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:14,528
I'm on kind of a deadline.
613
00:51:18,533 --> 00:51:20,367
And with Konali...
614
00:51:20,535 --> 00:51:23,621
...he takes "deadline" literally.
615
00:51:27,793 --> 00:51:30,211
I'm about to show the world something bigger...
616
00:51:30,378 --> 00:51:33,714
...than they have ever seen in their puny existence.
617
00:51:33,882 --> 00:51:36,133
But...
618
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:40,471
...I want to show you my thing first.
619
00:51:41,264 --> 00:51:44,558
Is it something I could wrap around my neck?
620
00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:46,519
KONALl: You're warm.
621
00:51:46,686 --> 00:51:50,523
Is it something I could play with?
622
00:51:50,690 --> 00:51:54,985
- You're getting warmer. - Oh, the suspense is killing me, Koni.
623
00:51:55,153 --> 00:51:58,823
- Tell me what it is. - It's a game!
624
00:51:59,866 --> 00:52:01,867
But not just any game.
625
00:52:02,035 --> 00:52:03,994
New version of old game...
626
00:52:04,162 --> 00:52:07,123
- ... where I become big winner... - Oh.
627
00:52:07,290 --> 00:52:10,835
- ... with the help of a secret key. - Secret key?
628
00:52:11,002 --> 00:52:13,003
Key?
629
00:52:15,173 --> 00:52:17,341
- What are you doing? - Uh...
630
00:52:18,593 --> 00:52:20,511
Nothing.
631
00:52:20,679 --> 00:52:22,930
Boss wants his computer key from his office.
632
00:52:23,098 --> 00:52:25,474
It's not here. It's at his other office...
633
00:52:25,642 --> 00:52:27,852
...in the restaurant.
634
00:52:28,311 --> 00:52:29,854
Bye.
635
00:53:03,221 --> 00:53:04,513
Whoa!
636
00:53:04,681 --> 00:53:07,224
That's a laser grid. We set one foot on that floor...
637
00:53:07,392 --> 00:53:09,977
...and every alarm in this place goes off.
638
00:53:10,145 --> 00:53:12,980
We've got to get to that cutoff switch over there.
639
00:53:53,605 --> 00:53:56,774
Hey, Tack, I got it.
640
00:53:57,943 --> 00:54:01,570
Okay, stand back. There's only one way to get this safe open.
641
00:54:01,738 --> 00:54:06,158
Wait a minute. You blow that thing, Konali's gonna know we were here.
642
00:54:06,326 --> 00:54:10,079
Hmm. What are we gonna do?
643
00:54:33,436 --> 00:54:35,521
You're amazing.
644
00:54:37,983 --> 00:54:39,942
There's no key in here.
645
00:54:55,083 --> 00:54:56,834
Keys!
646
00:54:57,002 --> 00:55:00,337
- Move, you little weasel. - Don't hurt me, okay...
647
00:55:02,007 --> 00:55:04,842
- Hey! - Adam.
648
00:55:05,927 --> 00:55:09,346
- You have game? - Sure.
649
00:55:09,931 --> 00:55:12,516
I surpassed myself. This game...
650
00:55:12,684 --> 00:55:14,935
...will be even bigger than the last one.
651
00:55:15,103 --> 00:55:17,938
The world is mine.
652
00:55:19,357 --> 00:55:22,026
Go run off a dozen copies. We have to test it.
653
00:55:22,193 --> 00:55:26,238
Send it to some of our more dedicated game players:
654
00:55:26,406 --> 00:55:28,449
The president, the mayor...
655
00:55:28,616 --> 00:55:31,201
...Chief of Police Rakov.
656
00:55:31,369 --> 00:55:33,871
Can I get paid now?
657
00:55:34,039 --> 00:55:35,331
Oh.
658
00:55:35,498 --> 00:55:37,166
It's in the mail.
659
00:55:37,876 --> 00:55:40,169
And so are you.
660
00:55:43,089 --> 00:55:45,758
Oh, no. Not again.
661
00:55:45,925 --> 00:55:47,634
So...
662
00:55:47,802 --> 00:55:51,597
- ... did you get any of Lassard's team? - No.
663
00:55:53,892 --> 00:55:56,435
But you did get Lassard, yes?
664
00:55:56,603 --> 00:55:58,270
No.
665
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:02,983
You bumbling nincompoops!
666
00:56:03,151 --> 00:56:06,236
You call yourselves men?!
667
00:56:07,197 --> 00:56:11,033
There must be someone we can call.
668
00:56:13,078 --> 00:56:16,288
We haven't called the police.
669
00:56:52,617 --> 00:56:55,452
"To American police-ski:
670
00:56:55,620 --> 00:56:57,871
Bolshoi Theatre, tonight.
671
00:56:58,039 --> 00:57:01,959
Konali to buy stolen shipment of weapons.
672
00:57:02,127 --> 00:57:03,460
You must stop him.
673
00:57:03,628 --> 00:57:06,088
A friend. "
674
00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:09,133
You know I don't speak Russian.
675
00:57:09,300 --> 00:57:11,677
KONALl: But, sweetheart, it's a ballet.
676
00:57:11,845 --> 00:57:15,305
Hey, who wants some nuts?! I got fresh nuts over here. Catch.
677
00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:19,351
There you go, mister. No, it didn't reach you long enough.
678
00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:22,146
Up, topside!
679
00:57:22,647 --> 00:57:25,649
I gotcha! There you go, Mr. Benny!
680
00:57:25,900 --> 00:57:28,777
Ah! Sorry, lady.
681
00:57:31,156 --> 00:57:34,074
Who wants nuts? Right over here!
682
00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:16,408
Excuse me, babushka. I'm sorry. Excuse me, ma'am.
683
00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:18,660
- Ticket, please. - I don't have a ticket.
684
00:58:18,828 --> 00:58:22,039
- You need a ticket. - I'm an American police captain...
685
00:58:22,207 --> 00:58:24,833
...on assignment. I don't need a ticket.
686
00:58:25,001 --> 00:58:28,128
- I'm sorry. You must have ticket. - Don't you understand?
687
00:58:28,296 --> 00:58:30,297
I have to arrest somebody in there.
688
00:58:30,465 --> 00:58:32,883
You cannot arrest anyone without a ticket.
689
00:58:33,051 --> 00:58:37,221
You think so? Well, we'll just see about that.
690
00:58:37,388 --> 00:58:40,682
Excuse me. Make way. Make way.
691
00:59:27,188 --> 00:59:29,356
Must be a replacement.
692
00:59:31,651 --> 00:59:34,945
- Captain Harris! Get out of here. Tackleberry!
693
00:59:35,113 --> 00:59:36,780
- Now! What are you doing here?
694
00:59:36,948 --> 00:59:38,282
We've got to get off!
695
00:59:38,741 --> 00:59:40,492
Go!
696
00:59:44,956 --> 00:59:46,248
Oh!
697
00:59:46,457 --> 00:59:48,584
- Tackleberry! Konali! - Over here.
698
00:59:48,751 --> 00:59:51,044
Go away! - We gotta get out of here!
699
00:59:51,212 --> 00:59:52,504
It's Konali!
700
00:59:55,216 --> 00:59:58,969
Come on, before he sees us! Come on!
701
01:00:05,852 --> 01:00:08,979
I saw Konali. Konali! I saw Konali!
702
01:00:09,147 --> 01:00:12,149
- That's Konali! Put me down! - I know, sir! I know, sir!
703
01:00:12,317 --> 01:00:14,735
- Konali! - I know!
704
01:00:16,571 --> 01:00:17,863
Freeze!
705
01:00:19,032 --> 01:00:20,324
You're under arrest.
706
01:00:20,491 --> 01:00:22,701
What are you doing? - Arresting you.
707
01:00:22,869 --> 01:00:25,495
His butt is mine! I'll arrest him!
708
01:00:25,663 --> 01:00:28,332
For selling weapons to a known criminal.
709
01:00:32,670 --> 01:00:34,504
"Sunshine Kids. "
710
01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:41,011
We've been set up.
711
01:00:44,182 --> 01:00:46,850
I am completely disgusted with you all.
712
01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:51,063
I am glad my good friend, Commandant Lassard, knew nothing about this.
713
01:00:51,230 --> 01:00:53,982
You are a disgrace to your uniforms...
714
01:00:54,150 --> 01:00:57,944
...and an embarrassment to me.
715
01:00:58,112 --> 01:01:00,447
Yuri, you know what to do. Do it.
716
01:01:15,046 --> 01:01:17,464
Ever since he return from Moscow...
717
01:01:17,632 --> 01:01:21,551
...I have been trying to capture Konali red-handed!
718
01:01:23,054 --> 01:01:29,226
And now you cowboys waltz in and smash my work to pieces!
719
01:01:30,395 --> 01:01:34,731
So now, if my police look at Konali wrong...
720
01:01:34,899 --> 01:01:37,734
...Konali will scream harassment!
721
01:01:39,404 --> 01:01:41,238
Americans...
722
01:01:42,365 --> 01:01:46,243
...you are hereby ordered to leave Russia.
723
01:01:48,079 --> 01:01:50,372
You understand?
724
01:01:52,291 --> 01:01:54,000
Get out!
725
01:01:55,837 --> 01:01:57,629
By 3:00 tomorrow!
726
01:02:00,591 --> 01:02:02,676
Or else!
727
01:02:04,512 --> 01:02:05,846
And as for you...
728
01:02:29,620 --> 01:02:33,498
Sir? Wanna remind you the plane leaves at 3:00.
729
01:02:33,666 --> 01:02:36,126
In the bathroom.
730
01:02:37,128 --> 01:02:39,004
Sir?
731
01:02:42,425 --> 01:02:45,635
Something about that sign disturbs me.
732
01:02:46,554 --> 01:02:48,013
Mama.
733
01:02:48,806 --> 01:02:52,017
- What do you say we...? - I'm way ahead of you.
734
01:03:00,651 --> 01:03:02,235
Sir?
735
01:03:19,712 --> 01:03:24,841
The other bag. The other... Big bag-ski, big bag. Here, give it to me. Ow!
736
01:03:25,343 --> 01:03:27,219
Jones! Get me up!
737
01:03:27,386 --> 01:03:30,347
I have never been humiliated like this before!
738
01:03:30,515 --> 01:03:33,809
- So you've been humiliated other ways? - Just shut up, Jones.
739
01:03:33,976 --> 01:03:35,685
- Oh, yes, sir. - Connors!
740
01:03:35,853 --> 01:03:38,063
I thought you weren't coming.
741
01:03:40,358 --> 01:03:43,193
Didn't want my heart to be broken. Now it's too late.
742
01:03:52,203 --> 01:03:53,870
Callahan! They got Callahan!
743
01:03:58,209 --> 01:04:00,043
Who the hell? - Callahan!
744
01:04:00,211 --> 01:04:02,754
- Connors! Let's go!
745
01:04:02,922 --> 01:04:06,258
Don't worry about me! Take care of yourself!
746
01:04:06,759 --> 01:04:09,344
Go! Go! Go! Go!
747
01:04:11,013 --> 01:04:12,931
Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
748
01:04:13,099 --> 01:04:19,229
Come on! Move-ski, move-ski, move-ski! Go! Go! Start it up! Go!
749
01:04:20,147 --> 01:04:23,567
Connors! Hang on, Connors!
750
01:04:26,445 --> 01:04:27,737
Shut up.
751
01:04:29,073 --> 01:04:31,867
Sergeant, can't you go any faster? Make this thing go!
752
01:04:32,076 --> 01:04:36,079
He's going to get killed! - Nobody on my team gets killed...
753
01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:39,583
- ... and that's an order! I'm gonna get killed!
754
01:04:39,750 --> 01:04:41,167
Jeez!
755
01:04:43,462 --> 01:04:45,255
Shake him off!
756
01:04:52,763 --> 01:04:54,222
Whoa!
757
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:56,892
- Tackleberry, give me your gun. - Yes, sir!
758
01:04:57,101 --> 01:05:01,605
This is a locator bullet. If we can hit the car with it, we can follow it anywhere.
759
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:03,732
Yes, sir!
760
01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:06,443
Sasha, just get me one clean shot.
761
01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:09,154
Fire it, Tack. Fire it, let's go!
762
01:05:10,406 --> 01:05:13,450
Tackleberry, do something right for a change. Hit that car!
763
01:05:15,828 --> 01:05:17,120
Gotcha.
764
01:05:29,842 --> 01:05:31,801
- My buddy! Help! Russkies!
765
01:05:31,969 --> 01:05:34,095
Russkies, in the motorcycle!
766
01:05:40,645 --> 01:05:43,647
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
767
01:05:49,862 --> 01:05:52,614
Don't you understand English? Faster!
768
01:05:54,408 --> 01:05:56,660
What is this, a rodeo? Come on!
769
01:06:04,919 --> 01:06:06,503
Get closer!
770
01:06:18,891 --> 01:06:20,475
Connors!
771
01:06:30,528 --> 01:06:34,531
Connors! You better be glad you weren't killed, because I've got a plan.
772
01:06:34,699 --> 01:06:36,783
Hurry up. Move it, move it, move it!
773
01:06:38,661 --> 01:06:40,245
It works.
774
01:06:53,050 --> 01:06:57,887
Shamed. In front of my men! My peers!
775
01:06:58,639 --> 01:07:01,891
- My mommy! - Sorry about that.
776
01:07:10,609 --> 01:07:13,945
You. You will pay dearly for what you have done!
777
01:07:16,615 --> 01:07:18,241
I know.
778
01:07:26,333 --> 01:07:30,503
- You will marry me. - Wow.
779
01:07:30,671 --> 01:07:33,757
- Nice getup. - Thanks.
780
01:07:36,177 --> 01:07:41,473
- We're going to share everything. - Okay.
781
01:07:53,903 --> 01:07:55,987
Right in bull's-eye!
782
01:07:59,533 --> 01:08:04,454
I cannot believe your obstinacy! You could have had it all!
783
01:08:04,747 --> 01:08:07,999
Instead you betray me? I am going to bury you!
784
01:08:10,294 --> 01:08:12,754
- Ooh! - What? What? I'm busy!
785
01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:15,381
The game is in the police station computer.
786
01:08:21,138 --> 01:08:23,348
I'm in! Yes!
787
01:08:23,516 --> 01:08:28,311
Now for the key. My secret code. Turn around.
788
01:08:28,604 --> 01:08:31,272
- Three, four, five. KONALl: Yes.
789
01:08:31,524 --> 01:08:36,277
Everything ready at the warehouse? Got to go, cupcake.
790
01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:40,615
I get in touch with you later. See if you change your mind.
791
01:08:44,078 --> 01:08:45,537
Ah!
792
01:08:59,009 --> 01:09:01,386
Shoot him.
793
01:09:09,186 --> 01:09:11,354
Look, he left us play toy.
794
01:09:12,815 --> 01:09:14,816
I really need this.
795
01:09:15,025 --> 01:09:16,943
Tackleberry, crash the left window.
796
01:09:17,111 --> 01:09:19,696
Jones, Connors, Katrina, the right window.
797
01:09:20,072 --> 01:09:22,991
I'll go through the roof with the guys.
798
01:09:23,784 --> 01:09:27,078
- How about the door? - Well, move it, move it, move it.
799
01:09:27,997 --> 01:09:30,331
Take that, perverts!
800
01:09:30,499 --> 01:09:33,918
This next room has to be it. Crash through on the count of three.
801
01:09:34,086 --> 01:09:37,046
- One, two... - Freeze!
802
01:09:37,214 --> 01:09:40,425
- Did anyone hear me say "three"? - I took care of it.
803
01:09:41,051 --> 01:09:42,343
- Where is he? - He's gone.
804
01:09:42,761 --> 01:09:45,346
Konali has left the building.
805
01:09:45,514 --> 01:09:48,474
Some command let him break into the police computer system.
806
01:09:48,642 --> 01:09:52,353
- If he gets in, we can't stop him. - His hacker was working on the game.
807
01:09:52,521 --> 01:09:55,273
- The key must be on it. They're sending a shipment.
808
01:09:55,441 --> 01:09:58,067
- They're at the warehouse. - Let's go.
809
01:09:59,153 --> 01:10:03,406
Wait. Talinsky said if you're not on the 3:00 flight he'll arrest you.
810
01:10:03,616 --> 01:10:06,868
She's right. Let's go anyway.
811
01:10:11,498 --> 01:10:14,584
No problem. - There, that's them! Go, go, go!
812
01:10:14,752 --> 01:10:16,836
It's Talinsky. - Okay, it's a problem.
813
01:10:48,035 --> 01:10:51,454
Good. Good.
814
01:10:51,622 --> 01:10:55,458
In 48 hours, "The New Game" will be in stores worldwide.
815
01:11:05,636 --> 01:11:07,470
How we gonna park?
816
01:11:14,395 --> 01:11:16,187
Sasha!
817
01:11:24,154 --> 01:11:28,491
Let's go! Let's go! Move it! Move it! Move it!
818
01:11:28,659 --> 01:11:31,995
All right, listen up! Listen up! Jones, give me those handcuffs.
819
01:11:32,162 --> 01:11:35,832
- Now, remember: I will arrest Konali. - Come on. Come on. Come on.
820
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:39,335
Now, we attack on three. One, two...
821
01:11:42,506 --> 01:11:44,340
Stop! Stop! Stop!
822
01:11:49,888 --> 01:11:53,683
Advertising spots will run consecutive days for the next three months.
823
01:11:53,851 --> 01:11:56,561
And A.M. Moscow wants you for a guest spot.
824
01:11:58,105 --> 01:12:00,315
Keep car running!
825
01:12:00,482 --> 01:12:04,193
- Where is master disk and passkey? - It's back inside your safe.
826
01:12:04,361 --> 01:12:06,571
In the restaurant office, as you requested.
827
01:12:06,739 --> 01:12:08,573
KONALl: Good.
828
01:12:08,741 --> 01:12:11,409
Hey, Natasha.
829
01:12:11,577 --> 01:12:15,371
- I'll let you know if I need anything else. You need a good attorney.
830
01:12:15,539 --> 01:12:18,875
Konstantine Konali, I arrest you in the name of the law.
831
01:12:19,043 --> 01:12:20,877
Stop. Everybody stop.
832
01:12:21,045 --> 01:12:25,673
- Put up gun! - I have arrested Konali. He's my prisoner.
833
01:12:25,883 --> 01:12:28,926
I will not be humiliated again like Bolshoi disaster.
834
01:12:29,845 --> 01:12:31,846
I've seen this before.
835
01:12:32,014 --> 01:12:34,265
I was playing with this in Rakov's office.
836
01:12:34,433 --> 01:12:37,727
My lawyer's going to sue for malicious prosecution...
837
01:12:37,895 --> 01:12:41,856
...intentional harassment and breaking a guy's heart.
838
01:12:42,399 --> 01:12:46,069
You're not going to sue anybody, because I am sending you to jail.
839
01:12:46,236 --> 01:12:50,365
- Do you have proof? - Proof? Proof.
840
01:12:51,116 --> 01:12:53,534
- Do we have proof? Yes.
841
01:12:53,911 --> 01:12:56,871
Lieutenant, it's right under your nose.
842
01:12:59,708 --> 01:13:01,876
What's the number of the police computer?
843
01:13:02,044 --> 01:13:03,419
2913855.
844
01:13:03,587 --> 01:13:06,297
- That's top security... - Type in "Konali. "
845
01:13:12,888 --> 01:13:15,890
Come on, Connors. Keep trying. - Try "Konstantine. "
846
01:13:20,312 --> 01:13:22,772
- No. - Wait. It was five letters.
847
01:13:22,940 --> 01:13:24,982
I saw Konali type five letters.
848
01:13:26,151 --> 01:13:27,485
"Greed. "
849
01:13:28,904 --> 01:13:30,613
Type in "greed. "
850
01:13:35,953 --> 01:13:37,620
Classified information!
851
01:13:37,788 --> 01:13:40,039
Konali hid a program in his computer game.
852
01:13:40,207 --> 01:13:44,293
Nobody would know it was there. It allowed him access to the user's files.
853
01:13:44,461 --> 01:13:46,462
It's like stealing candy from a baby.
854
01:13:46,630 --> 01:13:49,966
Or top-secret information from a government.
855
01:13:50,926 --> 01:13:54,887
I finally got you, Konali. Ha!
856
01:13:55,264 --> 01:13:57,807
Captain Harris?
857
01:13:59,893 --> 01:14:01,936
Oh, no.
858
01:14:07,609 --> 01:14:12,655
A toast to my new Russian family.
859
01:14:25,252 --> 01:14:29,338
Excuse me. I have to go to the boys' room.
860
01:14:39,683 --> 01:14:41,392
Oh, excuse me.
861
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:43,686
- I thought this was the bathroom. - You!
862
01:14:44,813 --> 01:14:46,689
- Lassard. - Why, yes.
863
01:14:46,857 --> 01:14:49,775
I'm flattered you recognize me. I'm not sure where...
864
01:14:49,943 --> 01:14:52,153
- You can't have me! - I don't want you.
865
01:14:54,031 --> 01:14:55,490
- En garde! - On what?
866
01:15:13,884 --> 01:15:15,551
You have any last requests?
867
01:15:17,596 --> 01:15:20,223
God! God! Sonny Bono!
868
01:15:26,897 --> 01:15:28,272
Upsy-daisy!
869
01:15:30,275 --> 01:15:31,734
Ah-ha!
870
01:15:32,152 --> 01:15:34,695
- You look familiar. - Don't play with me, Lassard.
871
01:15:35,656 --> 01:15:37,573
- Was it Paris? - No, not Paris.
872
01:15:37,741 --> 01:15:39,951
- Rome? - Not Rome.
873
01:15:40,118 --> 01:15:42,578
You think you can play me the fool?
874
01:15:43,622 --> 01:15:45,081
Ol?
875
01:15:46,041 --> 01:15:48,084
You'll never take me, Lassard!
876
01:15:49,753 --> 01:15:53,089
Not Konstantine Konali!
877
01:15:54,883 --> 01:15:58,469
Ah! I remember you now.
878
01:16:02,808 --> 01:16:06,936
You're under arrest for crimes against Russia...
879
01:16:07,104 --> 01:16:11,274
...and America and their citizens! Ha!
880
01:16:21,952 --> 01:16:23,578
Do it!
881
01:16:29,293 --> 01:16:31,502
- Today... - Today, today.
882
01:16:32,838 --> 01:16:35,423
- ... we have shown... We have shown, we have shown.
883
01:16:35,757 --> 01:16:37,216
Hm.
884
01:16:40,262 --> 01:16:43,931
- ... people everywhere... - People everywhere...
885
01:16:46,310 --> 01:16:50,187
...that Americans and Russians are brothers.
886
01:16:54,026 --> 01:16:56,277
I honor you and your team.
887
01:16:56,445 --> 01:17:00,156
Would Commandant Lassard please join me at podium?
888
01:17:16,340 --> 01:17:18,007
Comrade.
889
01:17:18,175 --> 01:17:23,971
And now, as a special tribute to our American friends...
890
01:17:24,139 --> 01:17:26,682
...I salute you all.
891
01:22:37,118 --> 01:22:39,119
65422
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