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=======================
Author: truc1979, Reviewer: DNR
Fix or feedback: please let me know
truc1979@laposte.net
=======================
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00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,000
[♪ Tango music ]
[♪ Por una cabeza ]
3
00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:24,552
Congratulations on becoming agent Rachel.
4
00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:26,785
I knew you had it in you.
5
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,861
Unfortunate about your husband though.
6
00:03:30,270 --> 00:03:31,693
Yes.
7
00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:35,890
Well, I could not let my feelings
for George compromise the mission.
8
00:03:54,519 --> 00:03:57,900
Oh... Sorry.
9
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,301
Sorry!
10
00:04:13,401 --> 00:04:14,641
Sorry...
11
00:05:10,641 --> 00:05:11,700
Nice tits.
12
00:05:13,993 --> 00:05:16,094
Does your husband appreciate these?
13
00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:20,811
No... Husband doesn't appreciate anything.
14
00:05:22,969 --> 00:05:23,890
Bull!
15
00:05:24,977 --> 00:05:26,336
Dead fool.
16
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,444
Ah, George never does that.
17
00:05:31,661 --> 00:05:33,878
George couldn't even make coffee.
18
00:08:12,020 --> 00:08:17,227
Oh God Agent X, That's what a real fucking
secret-agent dick feels like.
19
00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:18,740
Yeah.
20
00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:21,750
- You can't teach that on training.
- No.
21
00:08:25,968 --> 00:08:27,269
I don't need that anymore.
22
00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:15,686
George never makes me come.
23
00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:18,778
George is a fool.
24
00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:00,475
No evidence.
25
00:13:01,443 --> 00:13:02,377
Mission complete.
26
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,627
- Ah!
(- Ah)
27
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,420
- Ah!
- Ah!
28
00:13:09,419 --> 00:13:10,968
Jesus Christ.
29
00:13:11,368 --> 00:13:12,986
George you scared the crap out of me.
30
00:13:13,776 --> 00:13:16,969
Yeah? You should see it
from my point of view.
31
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:23,585
Dreamed about
that damn fish tank again?
32
00:13:25,986 --> 00:13:28,910
Yeah. Something like that.
33
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,286
Thank you.
34
00:16:14,204 --> 00:16:16,160
Oh I have my cereal.
35
00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:17,945
Oh you think so?
36
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,109
Yeah. I do.
37
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,150
You feeling lucky?
38
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:31,169
Would you try to come take it?
39
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,184
Oh, I will.
40
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,176
You call yourself a secret agent,
41
00:16:44,953 --> 00:16:46,677
no wonder
they won't give you a promotion.
42
00:16:51,194 --> 00:16:52,111
Argh.
43
00:16:59,402 --> 00:17:00,703
Holly bitch.
44
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,351
Hey honey, I was thinking
we could ride in together.
45
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,059
I take it as a "no".
46
00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:43,243
Ladies first.
47
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,460
Age before beauty.
48
00:17:50,281 --> 00:17:51,953
Brains before stupidity.
49
00:18:00,776 --> 00:18:03,362
What I meant was you're the stupid one, ok?
(- Idiot)
50
00:18:03,393 --> 00:18:05,470
(I'm the smart one.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT)
51
00:18:05,570 --> 00:18:06,844
I meet you up--
52
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,785
Everybody knows that.
53
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:29,440
No.
54
00:18:30,827 --> 00:18:31,609
Oh...
55
00:18:34,229 --> 00:18:35,539
Oh no.
56
00:18:40,102 --> 00:18:41,651
Oh yeah, you want some of this.
57
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,700
[composing phone number]
58
00:18:45,126 --> 00:18:47,439
[phone rings]
I spank you like a red-headed stepchild.
59
00:18:50,409 --> 00:18:51,869
Oh no you didn't!
60
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,852
Can't believe you stick my spot.
61
00:18:58,150 --> 00:18:59,175
Oh, is this your spot?
62
00:18:59,217 --> 00:19:01,567
You're dirty. You're dirty. Damn it.
63
00:19:37,012 --> 00:19:38,159
(Hi Rachel)
64
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,778
Morning fellows.
65
00:19:39,990 --> 00:19:41,120
(Good morning)
66
00:19:49,268 --> 00:19:50,618
I made brownies!
67
00:19:51,070 --> 00:19:51,935
Who wants some?
68
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,060
You don't have to do that.
69
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,285
I had to park 4 blocks away.
70
00:20:07,650 --> 00:20:10,280
Well. Now you've had your cardio.
71
00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:14,143
Those are the last of the brownies,
isn't it?
72
00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:16,561
I didn't even get one.
73
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:20,792
Oh, honey...
You've to watch your girlish figure.
74
00:20:21,485 --> 00:20:22,586
It's not fair Rachel.
75
00:20:23,103 --> 00:20:24,418
You know I wanted a brownie.
76
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,835
George, life's not fair.
77
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,094
That's one hell of a woman.
78
00:20:31,445 --> 00:20:33,290
One hell of a good cook.
79
00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:36,369
Yeah, well you try being married
to her for 6 years.
80
00:20:36,418 --> 00:20:37,328
Rachel: SEVEN!
81
00:20:38,383 --> 00:20:41,691
I'm sorry the lack of sex
is making my memory blurry.
82
00:20:45,850 --> 00:20:47,730
[beep]
83
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,230
Sorry you got to remove
all metal from your pockets.
84
00:20:58,181 --> 00:20:59,582
[beep]
85
00:20:59,768 --> 00:21:00,853
All metal.
86
00:21:08,332 --> 00:21:09,032
[beep]
87
00:21:09,032 --> 00:21:10,522
Looks like we're gonna be
a little more thorough.
88
00:21:10,522 --> 00:21:11,032
Ah!
89
00:21:12,652 --> 00:21:15,482
Sam, it's time
for a deep body cavity search.
90
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:29,660
Agent X: So there I was...
91
00:21:29,660 --> 00:21:33,010
...surrounded by the enemy...
92
00:21:33,010 --> 00:21:35,100
...deep in the jungles of Bolivia...
93
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:38,030
...unarmed and then suddenly I...
94
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:41,810
Agent Z?
95
00:21:41,810 --> 00:21:42,640
Yes Sir.
96
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:44,890
You're late.
97
00:21:45,584 --> 00:21:49,652
Yes Sir,
there was a malfunction at security.
98
00:21:50,790 --> 00:21:51,850
I apologize Sir.
99
00:21:51,850 --> 00:21:53,259
- Malfunction...?
- Yeah.
100
00:21:54,950 --> 00:21:56,300
I'll tell you what though...
101
00:21:57,479 --> 00:21:59,802
I've got a big mission for you.
102
00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:02,600
What?
103
00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:05,111
(Yes Sir)
104
00:22:05,879 --> 00:22:07,818
Go down to the break room
105
00:22:09,003 --> 00:22:10,560
and give me a cup of coffee.
106
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,740
[laughs]
107
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,769
You know how I like it.
108
00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:26,269
As I was saying,
bullets buzzing over my head.
109
00:22:26,726 --> 00:22:27,477
I had no weapon.
110
00:22:27,493 --> 00:22:31,210
Suddenly, from the canopy above,
came the enemy: *zeeee*.
111
00:22:50,790 --> 00:22:52,001
- Hi!
- Argh!
112
00:22:52,410 --> 00:22:53,780
Oh... Hi Amy.
113
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:58,321
Ah, sorry,
I didn't mean to startle you.
114
00:22:58,530 --> 00:23:01,970
No, it's okay,
it's a... I'm a little on edge.
115
00:23:02,978 --> 00:23:03,961
Too much caffeine.
116
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,100
Well, I must compliment you
on your cat-like reflexes.
117
00:23:09,785 --> 00:23:10,419
Oh...
118
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:14,169
Yeah, I was... uh...
119
00:23:14,169 --> 00:23:16,227
Comes with being a secret agent.
120
00:23:17,527 --> 00:23:19,999
I'll have to be a little bit
more careful around you.
121
00:23:20,661 --> 00:23:24,579
I didn't know
you could be so... dangerous.
122
00:23:26,167 --> 00:23:29,003
Yeah, that's... that's me:
dangerous you know.
123
00:23:29,402 --> 00:23:31,480
You could... lose an eye.
124
00:23:31,530 --> 00:23:32,940
[laughs]
125
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,843
Hmm... Speaking of danger,
I have something to show you.
126
00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:39,510
Won't you come in?
127
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,340
How... cool!
128
00:24:22,430 --> 00:24:23,429
(Wow)
129
00:24:27,420 --> 00:24:29,081
[amazed laughs]
130
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,380
This is cool!
131
00:24:35,581 --> 00:24:36,803
What does this do?
132
00:24:37,477 --> 00:24:38,881
Oh, be careful with that,
133
00:24:38,881 --> 00:24:40,841
I'm having a lot of problems with it.
134
00:24:40,841 --> 00:24:43,811
[George's smelling]
It contains nerve gas, but it keeps leaking.
135
00:25:09,639 --> 00:25:11,352
A mini supercomputer.
136
00:25:12,693 --> 00:25:15,111
Complete. With wireless internet.
137
00:25:15,111 --> 00:25:17,193
Digital camera.
138
00:25:17,943 --> 00:25:19,443
MP3 player.
139
00:25:20,717 --> 00:25:23,490
Cigarette lighter. Even an AM/FM radio.
140
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:25,080
Can I have it?
141
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,285
No.
142
00:25:33,090 --> 00:25:33,728
What's this?
143
00:25:35,388 --> 00:25:36,235
Hum...
144
00:25:38,110 --> 00:25:39,267
That's...
145
00:25:41,610 --> 00:25:43,719
That's... That's my vibrator.
146
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,330
So you're planning on doing
a little fly-fishing?
147
00:25:49,894 --> 00:25:50,643
Oh that?
148
00:25:50,926 --> 00:25:52,301
That is my pride and joy.
149
00:25:53,051 --> 00:25:54,152
It's impenetrable.
150
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:55,469
Watch.
151
00:25:59,552 --> 00:26:00,402
[gunshot]
152
00:26:00,550 --> 00:26:01,351
Wow!
153
00:26:06,159 --> 00:26:07,660
You're crazy.
154
00:26:10,835 --> 00:26:11,535
Watch this.
155
00:26:14,285 --> 00:26:15,334
[sound of arrow]
156
00:26:20,759 --> 00:26:22,299
Okay, I get it.
157
00:26:23,299 --> 00:26:25,095
This vest is specially designed.
158
00:26:25,369 --> 00:26:28,167
to increase the adrenaline
and testosterone of its wearer.
159
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,568
Giving him more strength, endurance.
160
00:26:31,870 --> 00:26:33,686
Even enabling him to run faster.
161
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,350
Well you think he could've made it
a little bit more fashionable.
162
00:26:37,350 --> 00:26:39,180
I mean it looks like a fishing vest.
163
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,177
Do I look like
I know anything about fashion?
164
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,890
Oh..! No no no, you know...
165
00:26:47,229 --> 00:26:49,187
No, the vest works. It's um...
166
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,719
You know it's just got lots of...
...convenient pockets.
167
00:26:55,329 --> 00:26:57,044
It has an internal cooling system.
168
00:26:57,426 --> 00:27:00,293
that regulates body temperature
and increases stamina.
169
00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:02,600
Imagine what that could do
for you under fire.
170
00:27:03,340 --> 00:27:05,520
Just think what it could do
for me in the bedroom.
171
00:27:06,353 --> 00:27:08,041
I already have.
172
00:27:14,841 --> 00:27:15,521
George: [um-um]
173
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:17,912
This is my latest invention:
174
00:27:17,912 --> 00:27:19,068
Training goggles.
175
00:27:19,949 --> 00:27:23,519
It can create virtually
any situation imaginable.
176
00:27:24,034 --> 00:27:24,850
Really?
177
00:27:24,850 --> 00:27:27,010
From flying to combat. Try.
178
00:27:30,590 --> 00:27:31,440
(Okay)
179
00:27:37,286 --> 00:27:37,870
Wow.
180
00:27:43,850 --> 00:27:46,130
That's cool. You do anything?
181
00:27:46,130 --> 00:27:47,350
Anything.
182
00:27:47,350 --> 00:27:49,603
- Anything?
- Anything.
183
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,570
You want to ***.
184
00:28:43,300 --> 00:28:44,950
You don't know how long it's been.
185
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:28,870
Oh god you're naughty.
186
00:33:01,500 --> 00:33:04,000
Oh yes George take it.
187
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,610
You know you've always wanted
that tight little fucking ass of mine.
188
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,330
Alright in that tight fucking ass?
189
00:35:09,230 --> 00:35:11,953
Okay, that was a little weird.
190
00:35:12,490 --> 00:35:15,080
You don't know how long
I've waited for that.
191
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,160
You tricked me!?
192
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,000
You lured me down here
to take advantage of me.
193
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,379
You... you gadget siren.
194
00:35:26,730 --> 00:35:27,751
Oh... So...?
195
00:35:29,500 --> 00:35:31,500
Oh come on you know I like you.
196
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:33,727
I'm married, I feel so violated.
197
00:35:34,250 --> 00:35:35,950
It wasn't real.
198
00:35:36,050 --> 00:35:37,310
Felt real!
199
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,340
Don't! Don't touch me!
200
00:35:41,585 --> 00:35:42,430
Predator.
201
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,630
[Rachel's smelling]
202
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,850
- Where have you been?
- Huh? What?
203
00:36:22,420 --> 00:36:24,026
You've been gone over an hour.
204
00:36:24,527 --> 00:36:25,776
X was looking for you.
205
00:36:26,950 --> 00:36:27,570
He was?
206
00:36:27,570 --> 00:36:30,130
Yeah. He needed his coffee.
207
00:36:30,650 --> 00:36:32,000
Oh, yeah, right.
208
00:36:34,980 --> 00:36:35,950
So?
209
00:36:37,140 --> 00:36:39,851
- So what?
Rachel: So where were you?
210
00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:45,636
I was taking care of business
in the lab.
211
00:36:46,870 --> 00:36:48,302
Business, huh?
212
00:36:49,536 --> 00:36:53,302
And was this "business"
wearing a white lab coat.
213
00:36:53,894 --> 00:36:56,794
and reeking
a fake designer perfume?
214
00:36:57,226 --> 00:36:58,500
What are you talking about?
215
00:36:58,500 --> 00:36:59,893
Don't play stupid with me, George.
216
00:37:00,518 --> 00:37:02,485
That little trollop, Amy.
217
00:37:03,010 --> 00:37:03,735
What about her?
218
00:37:04,936 --> 00:37:06,526
George I'm serious.
219
00:37:06,551 --> 00:37:12,000
I know that you know that she knows
that we're... having marital issues.
220
00:37:12,610 --> 00:37:15,150
She's like a vulture waiting
on the wings.
221
00:37:17,050 --> 00:37:18,390
You're a crazy Lady.
222
00:37:18,390 --> 00:37:20,370
Haha. I'm crazy?
223
00:37:20,370 --> 00:37:21,780
I'M CRAZY?
224
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,760
I'm not the one was provoked
by a glass of milk this morning
225
00:37:25,168 --> 00:37:27,661
I'm not the one that hassled
the security guards,
226
00:37:27,743 --> 00:37:31,229
and we won't even discuss your bouts
of mourning road rage
227
00:37:31,759 --> 00:37:32,359
WHAT??
228
00:37:33,100 --> 00:37:35,250
I did not harass those security guards
229
00:37:35,250 --> 00:37:37,500
you set me up, and for your information
230
00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:39,485
they proceeded
to get very intimate with me
231
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:41,443
I guess I should be grateful
232
00:37:41,716 --> 00:37:44,160
because it's the closest thing I'm
head to sex in months
233
00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:47,444
There you go again,
always with the sex
234
00:37:47,942 --> 00:37:50,694
We know what George?
Maybe if you learn a little technique
235
00:37:51,010 --> 00:37:53,684
instead of humping me
like a drunken Chihuahua
236
00:37:53,769 --> 00:37:56,535
I would be a little more
willing to participate
237
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:57,703
- Really?
- Yeah!
238
00:37:57,811 --> 00:37:58,694
Really?
239
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,160
Is there a problem here?
240
00:38:00,183 --> 00:38:01,700
Together: NO SIR
241
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:06,980
Good
242
00:38:06,980 --> 00:38:09,090
Rachel, I would like to see you alone,
please
243
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:10,602
Absolutely
244
00:38:13,450 --> 00:38:14,719
- Z?
- Yes?
245
00:38:14,978 --> 00:38:17,410
- Where's my coffee?
- Coming up, Sir
246
00:38:21,270 --> 00:38:22,343
"Where's my coffee?"
247
00:38:31,733 --> 00:38:33,328
Rachel, have a seat
248
00:38:36,710 --> 00:38:38,495
I am sitting, Sir
249
00:38:40,085 --> 00:38:40,720
Right
250
00:38:44,980 --> 00:38:48,177
Rachel... I need you.
251
00:38:51,109 --> 00:38:52,176
Excuse me?
252
00:38:53,785 --> 00:38:54,627
Your help.
253
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:56,177
Oh
254
00:38:57,186 --> 00:38:59,518
You're the only one
that I can trust.
255
00:39:00,742 --> 00:39:02,319
I have to go on a secret mission
256
00:39:02,319 --> 00:39:04,980
No one here even knows about it
257
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:12,111
I can't help it, but I have a
feeling it may be my last
258
00:39:12,550 --> 00:39:13,659
Really, Sir?
259
00:39:15,050 --> 00:39:17,452
I don't think there's any coming back
from this one, kid
260
00:39:17,784 --> 00:39:18,500
Sir...
261
00:39:19,001 --> 00:39:19,687
Don't cry
262
00:39:22,001 --> 00:39:23,294
It's the terrorists
263
00:39:24,300 --> 00:39:25,308
The Middle Eastern ones
264
00:39:26,243 --> 00:39:27,394
You know... those guys...
265
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:28,994
mm-hmm
266
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,387
They've developed
a plan to destroy the world
267
00:39:31,802 --> 00:39:36,536
and I have to go and steal the magic
ingredients to the weapon
268
00:39:36,700 --> 00:39:38,203
(Ah... weapons)
269
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:42,828
- Rachel?
- Yes, Sir?
270
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:46,169
X:
I need you to help me save the world
271
00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:48,486
Rachel: Huh... The whole world?
272
00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:52,101
Can you do that? Can you be a hero?
273
00:39:53,319 --> 00:39:54,393
Yes, Sir
274
00:39:57,700 --> 00:39:58,562
Good
275
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,411
Here's what I need for you to do
276
00:40:04,500 --> 00:40:07,770
Take this cellphone,
guard it with your life
277
00:40:08,502 --> 00:40:10,501
I'm going to be meeting my contacts
278
00:40:10,550 --> 00:40:12,278
and they are very dangerous men
279
00:40:12,359 --> 00:40:15,662
and they are going to want to know
that I am who I say I am
280
00:40:17,294 --> 00:40:18,095
Do you understand?
281
00:40:20,267 --> 00:40:21,287
Not really, Sir
282
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:24,502
Gonna take me into custody
283
00:40:24,751 --> 00:40:27,469
They're gonna dial that phone
for a code
284
00:40:28,362 --> 00:40:31,394
If you don't give him that code,
or you don't answer that phone
285
00:40:32,823 --> 00:40:33,668
I'll be killed
286
00:40:36,602 --> 00:40:37,634
Now you understand?
287
00:40:39,034 --> 00:40:40,450
Rachel: Huh... I think so, Sir
288
00:40:40,860 --> 00:40:42,668
X: Protect that with your life
289
00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:47,561
From now on, you shall be known
as agent...
290
00:40:49,842 --> 00:40:50,462
..."D"
291
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:51,477
Rachel: "D"?
292
00:40:54,301 --> 00:40:55,302
Any questions?
293
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,304
What's the code word?
294
00:40:59,118 --> 00:40:59,886
Code word?
295
00:41:00,750 --> 00:41:01,487
Right
296
00:41:01,900 --> 00:41:03,220
Huh...
297
00:41:04,176 --> 00:41:06,144
Hmm... "Peppermint"
298
00:41:08,327 --> 00:41:09,111
"Peppermint"?
299
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:10,569
X: "Peppermint"
300
00:41:12,868 --> 00:41:13,542
Now go.
301
00:41:15,067 --> 00:41:17,303
I've to prepare
for this kind of mission
302
00:41:17,385 --> 00:41:18,019
But Sir...
303
00:41:18,026 --> 00:41:20,862
[X: tears in voice] Please. Go.
304
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:28,950
Hmm?
305
00:41:29,250 --> 00:41:30,310
Uh! George!
306
00:41:30,310 --> 00:41:31,552
What... What are you doing?
307
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:34,787
Here you go, Sir
308
00:41:38,176 --> 00:41:39,510
You know I like two sugars
309
00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:46,353
You're dismissed
310
00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:55,480
[George is laughing slowly]
311
00:41:57,650 --> 00:41:58,650
What's so funny?
312
00:41:58,650 --> 00:42:01,010
You don't actually believe that
secret mission crap, do you?
313
00:42:01,881 --> 00:42:02,471
Rachel: hmm
314
00:42:02,572 --> 00:42:03,635
Oh my god, you do!
315
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:05,887
That's the oldest trick
in the book
316
00:42:06,110 --> 00:42:07,326
He just wants to fuck you
317
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:09,877
You're jealous
318
00:42:10,227 --> 00:42:11,860
Jealous that I got a mission
319
00:42:12,650 --> 00:42:13,729
You are a secretary
320
00:42:13,900 --> 00:42:14,959
No one's gonna give you a mission
321
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,728
I am an administrative assistant
322
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,000
but I guess you know a thing or two
323
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,101
about not getting missions now,
wouldn't you?
324
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,247
Well, except fetching coffee
325
00:42:25,087 --> 00:42:26,811
Now why would you have to go there,
okay?
326
00:42:27,294 --> 00:42:29,434
I was just trying to warn you,
he's trying to get in your pants.
327
00:42:29,900 --> 00:42:31,160
All he'd to do is ask.
328
00:42:32,092 --> 00:42:32,810
What did you say?
329
00:42:33,953 --> 00:42:35,286
I said don't be such an ass
330
00:42:49,644 --> 00:42:51,335
[sigh]
331
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,767
What is it with you
and that fish tank anyway?
332
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:00,720
This is going to be
the perfect underwater ecosystem
333
00:43:02,550 --> 00:43:04,560
And I will be its God
334
00:43:07,300 --> 00:43:09,119
You are not right
335
00:43:09,700 --> 00:43:10,451
Yeah
336
00:43:11,050 --> 00:43:13,985
Well at least I'm not waiting by
a phone that's never going to ring
337
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:15,958
It will ring
338
00:43:16,060 --> 00:43:18,693
Why don't you have a little faith that
he'll accomplish the mission?
339
00:43:20,728 --> 00:43:21,917
You just don't get it
340
00:43:22,310 --> 00:43:23,985
He's not on a secret mission
341
00:43:24,291 --> 00:43:26,859
Nobody knows anything
about a secret mission
342
00:43:26,943 --> 00:43:29,703
That's because it's secret, duh!
343
00:43:30,152 --> 00:43:32,310
Honey, you know nothing of protocol
344
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:37,043
You really think he would tell a secretary
about a secret mission?
345
00:43:38,976 --> 00:43:41,593
I am an administrative assistant!
346
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:45,485
Let me see if I get this straight:
347
00:43:46,134 --> 00:43:48,369
The story is there's a group of terrorists
348
00:43:48,577 --> 00:43:50,059
and they've built a bomb
349
00:43:51,034 --> 00:43:52,727
and they've threatened to
blow up the planet Earth
350
00:43:53,559 --> 00:43:56,477
But alas this will be
his last call of duty
351
00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:00,876
And his fate rests squarely
in palms of your hands
352
00:44:01,500 --> 00:44:02,833
You're the only one he can trust
353
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:05,167
His last hope
354
00:44:05,700 --> 00:44:07,426
Bla bla bla bla bla bla
355
00:44:09,517 --> 00:44:10,740
Rachel: Huh
George: Yeah
356
00:44:11,242 --> 00:44:14,059
Listen, that's a story
he gave his last secretary
357
00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:17,070
Rachel, listen, don't get mad
358
00:44:17,100 --> 00:44:18,752
[tazzer sound]
George: Aargh!
359
00:44:20,652 --> 00:44:22,481
[Breathes]
360
00:44:24,935 --> 00:44:27,343
That was totally unnecessary
361
00:44:28,500 --> 00:44:31,609
You just... pist because
you're fighting for Agent X.
362
00:44:31,910 --> 00:44:34,591
in a faraway tropical island.
363
00:44:34,591 --> 00:44:36,903
...getting his dick sucked by a native girl.
364
00:44:38,801 --> 00:44:41,570
Do not make me
tazz you twice in the same night
365
00:44:41,570 --> 00:44:42,450
Okay
366
00:44:42,450 --> 00:44:43,450
[tazzer sound]
367
00:44:43,450 --> 00:44:45,176
I am an administrative assistant!
368
00:44:45,593 --> 00:44:48,511
[tazzer sound]
[George cries]
369
00:45:03,060 --> 00:45:04,253
She's crazy
370
00:46:06,161 --> 00:46:09,760
Jesus, who are you, for God sake
371
00:46:10,735 --> 00:46:12,667
I think I just found heaven.
372
00:46:13,433 --> 00:46:16,136
What do you think of this little swine?
Isn't it cute?
373
00:46:16,230 --> 00:46:16,869
Beautiful
374
00:46:17,275 --> 00:46:19,185
It's not to say
say what we "swine"
375
00:46:19,202 --> 00:46:22,686
it's just things with asses
you know it's so much fun to say.
376
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:24,750
Isn't it terrific?
377
00:46:25,750 --> 00:46:27,470
You like this little swine here?
378
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:29,995
Do you like more swine?
379
00:46:30,230 --> 00:46:33,610
This is like the other other pink meat,
but how about some white meat?
380
00:46:35,060 --> 00:46:35,630
Excuse me
381
00:46:35,630 --> 00:46:37,636
No no, seriously
let's just take a bite together
382
00:46:38,243 --> 00:46:40,350
Let me-- Let me lick your hole.
383
00:46:40,350 --> 00:46:42,828
Nah, seriously. Oh come on...
384
00:47:02,550 --> 00:47:05,303
Another one for "special agent man"
385
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:08,050
Thank you
386
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,110
So how do you say your name?
387
00:47:13,762 --> 00:47:14,890
"Lei Mi" (lay me)
388
00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:18,428
[smiling]
Well, if you insist...
389
00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:21,770
Yeah... like I haven't heard that one bi--
390
00:47:22,368 --> 00:47:25,169
Wait a minute, you're not gay?
391
00:47:27,499 --> 00:47:28,111
No
392
00:47:29,300 --> 00:47:35,460
So, you didn't know that this is a gay,
lesbian, bisexual, transgender luau?
393
00:47:36,500 --> 00:47:37,903
Ah... No.
394
00:47:40,103 --> 00:47:40,774
I didn't.
395
00:47:43,710 --> 00:47:44,660
Um.
396
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:46,977
About that name.
397
00:47:47,794 --> 00:47:50,060
You know the offer still stands
398
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:56,600
But you might want to hurry because my country
could call me into service at any moment
399
00:47:59,028 --> 00:48:00,345
As a matter of fact...
400
00:48:01,678 --> 00:48:05,111
I'm expecting a call from the
President of the United States
401
00:48:05,411 --> 00:48:08,727
[phone rings]
Oh... There he is
402
00:48:09,252 --> 00:48:10,100
Hold that.
403
00:48:10,720 --> 00:48:12,319
[phone rings]
404
00:48:14,100 --> 00:48:15,569
Yes, Mr President.
405
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,660
Yes Sir, it's me Sir.
406
00:48:22,730 --> 00:48:23,936
That's top-secret
407
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:27,503
Of course, Sir
408
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,252
You know you can count on me
409
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,344
Yes Sir. Goodbye Sir
410
00:48:41,102 --> 00:48:44,936
So uh... to some... yeah... everything ok?
411
00:48:45,319 --> 00:48:46,140
Yeah
412
00:48:46,685 --> 00:48:48,911
I'll ship out in an hour
413
00:48:50,411 --> 00:48:53,611
Wow... Then I guess...
Guess we... Better hurry
414
00:54:09,878 --> 00:54:11,500
Call me Mr Secret Agent
415
00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:15,900
Yeah Mr Secret Agent man,
*** that cock in my pussy
416
00:54:56,426 --> 00:54:57,311
Well uh...
417
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:09,670
... I guess I should be going
418
00:55:10,144 --> 00:55:11,211
Yeah, that thing...
419
00:55:11,552 --> 00:55:13,980
- Yeah the... President...
- Yeah
420
00:55:15,270 --> 00:55:16,377
Jesus Christ...
421
00:55:16,470 --> 00:55:17,694
You bitch!
422
00:55:21,452 --> 00:55:22,468
Oh my god
423
00:55:24,411 --> 00:55:25,586
Are you okay?
424
00:55:28,167 --> 00:55:29,586
Are you okay?
425
00:55:36,661 --> 00:55:38,750
[2001, Space Odyssey's theme]
426
00:55:38,750 --> 00:55:40,510
[phone rings]
427
00:55:44,518 --> 00:55:46,019
Don't you even think about it!
428
00:55:58,869 --> 00:55:59,876
Oh shit!
429
00:56:06,001 --> 00:56:07,900
Oh shit! Idiot!
430
00:56:08,026 --> 00:56:08,661
Me?
431
00:56:08,850 --> 00:56:10,075
You want to tackle me!
432
00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:12,553
You should've gone in my phone
in the first place.
433
00:56:12,620 --> 00:56:14,110
It was my secret mission
434
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:16,700
But now you've upset
my pristine ecosystem
435
00:56:16,700 --> 00:56:18,711
Would you shut up
about your ecosystem?
436
00:56:19,020 --> 00:56:19,928
Just get it out.
437
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:30,386
Here
438
00:56:32,801 --> 00:56:34,085
...that does not work anymore.
439
00:56:34,490 --> 00:56:36,043
Thank you captain Obvious
440
00:56:37,069 --> 00:56:38,027
Oh.
441
00:56:38,311 --> 00:56:38,978
Oh! Oh my god.
442
00:56:39,307 --> 00:56:40,594
Do you think he's dead?
443
00:56:40,750 --> 00:56:41,661
No
444
00:56:50,860 --> 00:56:52,403
[Indistinct chatting]
445
00:56:53,900 --> 00:56:54,780
Good morning everyone,
446
00:56:54,780 --> 00:56:57,000
I am agent J
from the Washington field office
447
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:58,944
I'm afraid I have some terrible news
448
00:56:59,700 --> 00:57:02,412
One of ours is missing.
Agent X has disappeared
449
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:05,068
All we know is
he left for an unknown destination
450
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:07,353
(and has not been heard of since Friday afternoon)
[Rachel's speaking to George]
451
00:57:07,835 --> 00:57:09,700
All communication attempts have failed
452
00:57:09,700 --> 00:57:12,742
and we are forced to use all
of our resources at hand
[Rachel starts crying]
453
00:57:13,100 --> 00:57:14,661
(The search and rescue...)
454
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:16,280
She's really upset, sorry
455
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,069
You shut your hole.
456
00:57:21,500 --> 00:57:23,218
- We can't leave him--
- Rachel, listen!
457
00:57:24,861 --> 00:57:25,652
Okay!
458
00:57:27,500 --> 00:57:29,470
Rachel, you need to get yourself together
459
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:30,990
Did you hear them?
460
00:57:30,990 --> 00:57:32,211
- Shhh!
- Terrorist!
461
00:57:33,100 --> 00:57:34,969
What if they bomb the United States?
462
00:57:35,500 --> 00:57:36,870
What if they find out I'm responsible?
463
00:57:37,229 --> 00:57:38,869
- I DON'T WANT TO BA A TRAITOR!
- Rachel! Rachel!
464
00:57:38,869 --> 00:57:40,228
- Get yourself together
- Ouch
465
00:57:40,450 --> 00:57:41,550
Ouch!
466
00:57:41,550 --> 00:57:42,803
Rachel, listen!
467
00:57:43,010 --> 00:57:45,670
Did anybody else hear your
conversation that you had with X?
468
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:47,293
- No
- Okay, good
469
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:49,049
Now we're gonna march back in there
470
00:57:49,049 --> 00:57:51,039
and we're gonna act as
if we know nothing, okay?
471
00:57:51,039 --> 00:57:51,853
I don't want to go back...
472
00:57:51,889 --> 00:57:54,369
Hey hey hey, you want to be
brought up in treason charges?
473
00:57:54,630 --> 00:57:55,986
No? Have you ever been to prison?
474
00:57:56,530 --> 00:57:57,340
Okay
475
00:57:57,340 --> 00:57:59,000
Now we're gonna go back in there
476
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:03,140
we're gonna act as if we know nothing
until I come up with a plan
477
00:58:03,140 --> 00:58:04,269
You got that?
478
00:58:05,078 --> 00:58:08,010
Shake your head yes that you got it.
Good. Now let's go.
479
00:58:08,900 --> 00:58:09,653
Rachel!
480
00:58:11,290 --> 00:58:12,160
This way!
481
00:58:13,950 --> 00:58:14,790
Rachel.
482
00:58:16,500 --> 00:58:19,029
[Indistinct chatting]
(Get yourself together...)
483
00:58:19,500 --> 00:58:20,910
No no no
484
00:58:22,310 --> 00:58:25,120
Yes, this is where the best
place to catch crab is.
485
00:58:26,700 --> 00:58:28,130
[Indistinct chatting]
486
00:58:31,452 --> 00:58:33,653
Yeah, give that
[Rachel coughs]
487
00:58:34,894 --> 00:58:35,577
...toast.
488
00:58:37,781 --> 00:58:39,861
You need to get yourself together.
Do you understand me?
489
00:58:46,686 --> 00:58:48,711
Sit down. Sit
490
00:58:50,991 --> 00:58:53,377
- Act normal, keep it together, yes.
- You understand?
491
00:58:53,846 --> 00:58:54,511
Keep it together.
492
00:59:13,500 --> 00:59:15,627
- Rachel isn't it?
- Maybe
493
00:59:16,020 --> 00:59:17,436
May I have a word with you in private
494
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:21,670
Hey you!
495
00:59:24,260 --> 00:59:25,552
Bring me a cup of coffee
496
00:59:31,470 --> 00:59:32,870
(Help... help... help...)
497
00:59:40,766 --> 00:59:43,450
So... I understand
that you're agent X's secretary
498
00:59:44,050 --> 00:59:46,931
Administrative a...ssistant
499
00:59:47,100 --> 00:59:48,190
Right
500
00:59:48,220 --> 00:59:50,220
Well since
you worked so closely with him,
501
00:59:50,220 --> 00:59:52,078
(I'm just a little curious
who've you overheard)
502
00:59:52,103 --> 00:59:54,027
(anything strange the last few days)
503
00:59:54,559 --> 00:59:56,219
(Maybe notice
anything out of the ordinary)
504
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,000
(He didn't discuss
anything with you?)
505
01:00:00,700 --> 01:00:01,981
(Mentioned taking a trip?)
506
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:03,270
(Think hard)
507
01:00:05,870 --> 01:00:09,630
Well, British intelligence have informed
us of a possible terrorist threat
508
01:00:10,700 --> 01:00:13,202
This is not what we need right now
with our biggest agent missing
509
01:00:13,694 --> 01:00:16,261
We're still waiting for more information
to come in from the Brits
510
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:19,494
I'm gonna go check on some possible
leads on agent X
511
01:00:19,777 --> 01:00:22,461
In the meantime I want you
to sit next to the fax
512
01:00:22,486 --> 01:00:24,397
and call me the instant
something comes in.
513
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:25,926
I'm depending on you
514
01:00:28,718 --> 01:00:29,929
Yes Sir
515
01:00:32,210 --> 01:00:33,850
I mean Ma'am
516
01:00:34,269 --> 01:00:35,778
Yes... Ma'am
517
01:00:40,319 --> 01:00:41,399
Not again
518
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,061
[sound of door]
519
01:00:52,380 --> 01:00:54,402
- Hey
- Hey
520
01:01:02,300 --> 01:01:03,910
What are you doing still here?
521
01:01:05,500 --> 01:01:08,130
You didn't actually think I was
gonna leave you now, did you?
522
01:01:12,300 --> 01:01:14,690
We have our problems and everything
523
01:01:15,700 --> 01:01:19,236
But in 6 years marriage,
I ever let you down
524
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:26,250
Seven... We've been married 7 years.
525
01:01:27,228 --> 01:01:31,368
Seven years, four months, two days
526
01:01:39,768 --> 01:01:40,394
Come here
527
01:01:42,260 --> 01:01:44,540
Right here? Wait.
We can't do this, out here.
528
01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:47,553
Come on, in here
529
01:01:49,119 --> 01:01:50,918
You know
you don't have to wait with me
530
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:55,128
I know, but everybody's gone home
for the day
531
01:01:55,167 --> 01:01:58,100
I figured... keep you some company
532
01:02:03,650 --> 01:02:04,441
Um
533
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:07,851
That feels good
534
01:02:08,470 --> 01:02:09,119
You like that?
535
01:02:16,700 --> 01:02:18,170
What are you doing?
536
01:02:18,485 --> 01:02:20,420
What? I thought we could fool around.
537
01:02:21,669 --> 01:02:25,350
At a time like this?
You're an insensitive prick.
538
01:02:25,350 --> 01:02:26,486
What's wrong with you?
539
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:29,743
Great. Now I'm a prick
540
01:02:30,644 --> 01:02:31,510
Well you know what?
541
01:02:32,678 --> 01:02:34,378
You are a frigid bitch
542
01:02:35,852 --> 01:02:36,852
Fuck you!
543
01:02:37,900 --> 01:02:39,636
No. Fuck you!
544
01:02:44,010 --> 01:02:46,630
[Fax's noise]
545
01:03:03,290 --> 01:03:05,102
You can't really be serious about this
546
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:06,612
Oh I'm serious
547
01:03:06,777 --> 01:03:11,030
George, wait, shouldn't we
call someone, you know, for backup?
548
01:03:11,193 --> 01:03:13,343
You saw the report, there's no time.
549
01:03:13,751 --> 01:03:15,751
The terrorists are gonna bomb
the US in a couple of days
550
01:03:15,942 --> 01:03:18,070
The British agents are already in route
551
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:20,668
Exactly why we should call for backup
552
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,200
Why? so they could pass the
assignment under somebody else?
553
01:03:24,700 --> 01:03:26,590
So I can get overlooked. Again.
554
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:31,581
Rachel, I'm fucking tired of
getting coffee and dry-cleaning
555
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:33,100
So this is about you?
556
01:03:33,100 --> 01:03:33,610
No!
557
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:35,560
(Well... maybe)
558
01:03:36,900 --> 01:03:38,399
You selfish jerk
559
01:03:38,399 --> 01:03:41,650
I don't think risking my life
for my government is selfish
560
01:03:41,650 --> 01:03:42,800
It's patriotic
561
01:03:42,990 --> 01:03:44,477
Besides,
562
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:48,130
if you hadn't killed our top operative
I wouldn't be forced to do this
563
01:03:49,535 --> 01:03:51,730
Fine. Well I'm going with you
564
01:03:52,144 --> 01:03:53,901
No. No, no. You're not
565
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:56,381
You said it yourself:
I'm responsible so I'm going
566
01:03:56,381 --> 01:03:57,231
No way
567
01:03:58,400 --> 01:03:59,652
If you won't let me go, I'm telling.
568
01:04:06,859 --> 01:04:07,870
Fine
569
01:04:08,192 --> 01:04:10,800
Yes! My first mission as an agent
570
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:13,327
You're not an agent.
You're a secretary
571
01:04:16,300 --> 01:04:18,650
I am an administrative assistant
572
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:26,990
Did you hear that? Terrorist
573
01:04:27,609 --> 01:04:28,660
I got to call Washington.
574
01:04:29,300 --> 01:04:30,990
You're not calling anyone my dear
575
01:04:33,250 --> 01:04:35,052
[guy's screaming]
576
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:42,250
[phone dialing]
577
01:04:42,550 --> 01:04:45,271
It's me. We've got a problem
578
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:57,710
[beep]
579
01:05:08,490 --> 01:05:10,152
- Oh like it's gonna work for you
- Tsss
580
01:05:12,510 --> 01:05:13,917
You don't even know a code.
581
01:05:21,300 --> 01:05:21,980
Um
582
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:25,160
How did you do that?
583
01:05:27,225 --> 01:05:28,452
Honey, you forget:
584
01:05:28,935 --> 01:05:32,111
in addition
to being able to type 87 words a minute
585
01:05:32,111 --> 01:05:34,061
I can hack into anything
586
01:05:35,501 --> 01:05:36,395
Impressed
587
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:38,527
As you should be
588
01:05:39,900 --> 01:05:40,636
"As you should be"
589
01:05:48,751 --> 01:05:49,611
Wow
590
01:05:50,300 --> 01:05:51,420
Grab the bag
591
01:06:00,950 --> 01:06:03,119
Oh yeah, you're mine now
592
01:06:25,200 --> 01:06:29,150
George, I really don't think there's
gonna be time for fishing
593
01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:32,240
This isn't a fishing vest
594
01:06:32,240 --> 01:06:35,668
This is a high-tech fight
enhancing super vest
595
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:38,760
Right. You know you don't have
to make shit up, George
596
01:06:40,394 --> 01:06:41,061
Follow me
597
01:06:46,867 --> 01:06:48,000
[George's laughing]
598
01:06:49,867 --> 01:06:51,720
That's what I'm talking about
599
01:06:53,043 --> 01:06:55,077
Is that
one of those penis extension things?
600
01:06:55,143 --> 01:06:55,760
What?
601
01:06:56,100 --> 01:06:58,443
Feeling a little "inferior"?
Are you, George?
602
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:02,190
I'm surprised
you even remember that I have a penis
603
01:07:12,309 --> 01:07:13,830
- Ouch
- Don't touch
604
01:07:14,479 --> 01:07:15,859
- Maybe a knife
(- Hey!)
605
01:07:17,749 --> 01:07:19,540
- No, I definitely want that one.
- Hey hey
606
01:07:19,540 --> 01:07:21,570
Back away from the weaponry
607
01:07:23,849 --> 01:07:25,180
- I want gun
- No
608
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:27,751
- George, I want a gun!
- No
609
01:07:28,027 --> 01:07:30,312
How the hell
do you expect me to defend myself?
610
01:07:35,250 --> 01:07:36,040
Satisfied?
611
01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:38,969
You've got to be kidding me
612
01:07:39,270 --> 01:07:42,902
Listen: go to the house pack a few things.
Essentials only
613
01:07:43,410 --> 01:07:48,390
I'm gonna go try and secure it right
in here for something... inconspicuous.
614
01:07:50,310 --> 01:07:51,626
Try not to shoot yourself
615
01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:07,650
What is all this?
616
01:08:08,085 --> 01:08:09,201
Essentials.
617
01:08:09,857 --> 01:08:12,019
Okay.
Do you understand we're going undercover?
618
01:08:12,260 --> 01:08:12,839
Yeah
619
01:08:13,100 --> 01:08:15,830
That's why I need so many disguises. Duh!
620
01:08:16,779 --> 01:08:19,200
Okay. You know, fine. Have it your way
621
01:08:19,200 --> 01:08:21,727
I don't care
if I am not carrying this luggage
622
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:23,110
Not one single piece
623
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:24,610
Wait!
624
01:08:30,940 --> 01:08:32,452
This is our inconspicuous ride?
625
01:08:33,059 --> 01:08:35,076
No one's ever gonna guess
where we're going
626
01:08:35,142 --> 01:08:36,293
Rachel, just get in the van.
627
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:38,426
Fine. Get the bags
628
01:08:38,857 --> 01:08:40,976
- I ain't getting the bags!
- George, bags!
629
01:08:41,049 --> 01:08:43,303
- Not getting the bags.
- George get the fucking bags.
630
01:08:53,100 --> 01:08:56,340
The Falcon has left the nest
631
01:08:56,950 --> 01:08:58,194
Who is it?
632
01:08:59,300 --> 01:09:02,017
The fox is in the henhouse
633
01:09:02,810 --> 01:09:03,568
What?
634
01:09:04,750 --> 01:09:06,700
The 2 idiots are on their way to you!
635
01:09:06,700 --> 01:09:08,559
Ah, what the ***
for the god's sake.
636
01:09:53,335 --> 01:09:58,618
Okay okay,
here we go: capital of Finland
637
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:01,751
Helsinki
638
01:10:01,751 --> 01:10:04,800
No no no.
How many times do I have to tell you:
639
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:06,335
Form it as a question
640
01:10:07,100 --> 01:10:09,530
What is Helsinki?
641
01:10:09,530 --> 01:10:10,519
Yes!
642
01:10:12,309 --> 01:10:14,642
Efendi, please excuse the interruption,
643
01:10:15,192 --> 01:10:16,226
but the British are coming
644
01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:19,878
I know this one:
Who is Paul Revere (?)
645
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:22,617
No, no, Sir
646
01:10:22,761 --> 01:10:24,059
The British are coming now
647
01:10:24,059 --> 01:10:26,301
Here, English agents, they're on to us
648
01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:28,585
Why are you tell me this?
649
01:10:30,050 --> 01:10:32,619
Uh... Okay...
650
01:10:32,944 --> 01:10:36,077
Scout the area, find out where the
infidels keep their camp
651
01:10:36,150 --> 01:10:37,604
and destroy them
652
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:38,919
Yes, Effendi
653
01:10:42,352 --> 01:10:46,159
(Sighs) Well, if my plan to take over
the world doesn't work
654
01:10:46,560 --> 01:10:48,243
I always have plan B
655
01:10:49,500 --> 01:10:51,525
"Plan B", Sir?
656
01:11:26,809 --> 01:11:29,143
Hum! Right.
Why do you think I see your tushy?
657
01:15:25,551 --> 01:15:26,735
Want to know how much I like that?
658
01:15:29,018 --> 01:15:29,900
Honey, Look at this:
659
01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:32,827
Survey says I like it
660
01:15:34,310 --> 01:15:35,976
That's it, fuck my asshole
661
01:15:43,510 --> 01:15:45,370
This is why I'm gonna be a bigger star
662
01:15:45,370 --> 01:15:46,485
Yeah, okay
663
01:15:47,076 --> 01:15:49,420
- I love you considerate that--
- Keep on saying that to yourself.
664
01:16:14,720 --> 01:16:15,436
You like it?
665
01:16:16,100 --> 01:16:17,468
-Yeah
[Actress] This is good camera angle?
666
01:16:17,753 --> 01:16:18,953
Last time I check.
667
01:17:09,067 --> 01:17:10,409
It's really hot out here
668
01:17:11,300 --> 01:17:12,650
You should put some sunscreen on, baby
669
01:17:12,650 --> 01:17:13,250
(Okay)
670
01:17:21,750 --> 01:17:22,518
- Agents?
- Argh!
671
01:17:22,535 --> 01:17:23,641
Shhhh!
672
01:17:25,700 --> 01:17:29,660
I am Ahmed Abdul Al-ahjeer
Durka-durka Martinez Junior
673
01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:31,960
But you can call me Bob
674
01:17:33,450 --> 01:17:35,210
I'm your contact!
675
01:17:36,200 --> 01:17:37,290
I'm gonna take you to your base camp
676
01:17:37,310 --> 01:17:38,517
But we gonna hurry up before we're seen
677
01:17:39,400 --> 01:17:42,170
I work with you guys as an Agent expert,
for the states all the time.
678
01:17:56,500 --> 01:17:57,935
Honey, hold still.
679
01:19:39,036 --> 01:19:40,876
I've located the British agents
680
01:19:41,500 --> 01:19:43,627
Send 3 men to cut them off at the path
681
01:19:43,800 --> 01:19:45,260
Take no prisoners
682
01:19:45,850 --> 01:19:47,043
Meet me back at the palace
683
01:19:59,150 --> 01:20:00,309
[goat and camel noises]
684
01:20:12,152 --> 01:20:13,235
What a shithole
685
01:20:13,570 --> 01:20:17,243
Yes Watson, I don't see our
bloody contact anywhere
686
01:20:17,944 --> 01:20:19,170
We're gonna have to move fast
687
01:20:19,492 --> 01:20:20,743
Hostiles are everywhere
688
01:20:22,560 --> 01:20:24,585
We need some transport Watson.
Get us a ride
689
01:20:25,200 --> 01:20:26,700
Should I contact HQ sir?
690
01:20:26,720 --> 01:20:29,350
- Nonsense we move in as planned
- Ah!
691
01:20:29,500 --> 01:20:31,280
Now just get us a ride, would you?
692
01:20:35,394 --> 01:20:37,193
What? What the bloody?
693
01:20:38,550 --> 01:20:40,018
What the bloody has he gone?
694
01:20:40,780 --> 01:20:43,086
Watson? What the bloody are
you doing over there?
695
01:20:43,801 --> 01:20:46,269
Hello there, do you speak english?
696
01:20:46,600 --> 01:20:49,128
- Okay
- Alrighty then, um...
697
01:20:49,250 --> 01:20:51,610
- I will take the...
[waiter is spitting]
698
01:20:53,400 --> 01:20:56,490
...brand a double mocha with extra cream
699
01:20:57,518 --> 01:20:58,992
And do you have any muffins?
700
01:21:00,301 --> 01:21:02,780
[waiter's speaking arabic]
701
01:21:02,951 --> 01:21:04,618
Hmm... Guess not.
Do you take credit cards?
702
01:21:06,028 --> 01:21:07,300
- Watson?
- Yes Sir
703
01:21:07,670 --> 01:21:08,759
What nerves(?) are you doing?
704
01:21:09,692 --> 01:21:11,651
Having a coffee Sir, it's a sandbox.
705
01:21:11,750 --> 01:21:12,968
Sandbox?
706
01:21:13,440 --> 01:21:14,100
[waiter's speaking arabic]
707
01:21:14,852 --> 01:21:16,220
- Uh, Good Lord
[goat's bleating]
708
01:21:16,510 --> 01:21:18,070
Watson, it's a goat!
709
01:21:18,120 --> 01:21:19,447
It's an indigenous species, Sir
710
01:21:20,700 --> 01:21:22,100
- Watson!
- Yes Sir
711
01:21:22,138 --> 01:21:23,228
Where's the ride?
712
01:21:24,160 --> 01:21:25,476
- Sir?
- Yes?
713
01:21:26,630 --> 01:21:30,568
If you look very close,
I don't think there's any taxis
714
01:21:31,400 --> 01:21:34,148
Watson, just get us our bloody ride,
would you?
715
01:21:34,650 --> 01:21:36,667
- Can I take my coffee, Sir?
- No! Quick.
716
01:21:41,220 --> 01:21:42,610
Got any donuts?
717
01:21:42,635 --> 01:21:43,976
[speaks arabic]
718
01:21:44,020 --> 01:21:45,911
No! I said donuts. Oh, shit.
719
01:22:06,260 --> 01:22:08,067
Rachel: Why we stop?
- Wait guys...
720
01:22:08,900 --> 01:22:10,180
My instincts...
721
01:22:12,000 --> 01:22:13,544
...they tell me there's danger
722
01:22:14,326 --> 01:22:15,659
Your instincts, huh?
723
01:22:16,000 --> 01:22:17,027
I don't see anything
724
01:22:19,001 --> 01:22:20,618
I think your instincts are wrong
725
01:22:23,486 --> 01:22:25,040
[gunshots]
726
01:22:53,869 --> 01:22:54,700
Oh!
727
01:23:01,900 --> 01:23:03,391
I'll kill them
728
01:23:10,000 --> 01:23:12,419
Definitely, my favorite dress in there.
729
01:23:22,700 --> 01:23:24,840
Aargh... Virgins here I come
730
01:23:28,850 --> 01:23:29,860
Sweetie...!
731
01:23:30,202 --> 01:23:32,418
Oh my God, that's awesome.
732
01:23:33,551 --> 01:23:34,443
I didn't know that
733
01:23:40,679 --> 01:23:41,943
Run!
734
01:23:43,850 --> 01:23:45,829
Oh that's just dirty.
735
01:23:59,401 --> 01:24:00,068
Can we go now?
736
01:24:00,800 --> 01:24:01,469
Yeah
737
01:24:05,850 --> 01:24:08,091
Honey? A little help, come on
738
01:24:14,250 --> 01:24:14,860
Uh...
739
01:24:15,440 --> 01:24:16,403
Here's your bag, sweetie.
740
01:24:29,610 --> 01:24:31,880
[a dog's whining]
741
01:24:57,793 --> 01:25:00,640
[Traditional arabic music]
742
01:26:03,900 --> 01:26:06,776
Haha, this had better be good
743
01:26:07,200 --> 01:26:11,930
Efendi, I have located
the agent south of the palace
744
01:26:12,050 --> 01:26:14,300
but these are different from the rest
745
01:26:15,167 --> 01:26:16,569
They want us to know they are here
746
01:26:17,403 --> 01:26:18,718
It's like they are taunting us
747
01:26:20,310 --> 01:26:22,159
and I think they have
the American agent with them
748
01:26:22,744 --> 01:26:25,026
Only he would be so bold
749
01:26:25,700 --> 01:26:27,777
I think his name is X
750
01:26:29,983 --> 01:26:31,301
Hold on a second
751
01:26:32,060 --> 01:26:33,910
[Hussein coughs]
752
01:26:36,580 --> 01:26:41,430
Agent X is here and you're sure?
753
01:26:42,250 --> 01:26:43,892
He took out some of our best men
754
01:26:44,360 --> 01:26:45,127
It's got to be him
755
01:26:45,823 --> 01:26:48,350
But we've captured a prisoner
756
01:26:49,500 --> 01:26:50,450
(Find Abdul,)
757
01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:52,871
tell him to double the guard
watch and get out there
758
01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:54,610
I want to know everything
they're doing
759
01:26:54,644 --> 01:26:56,143
They take a shit
I want to know about it
760
01:26:57,000 --> 01:26:58,779
Okay, they take a crap I don't
need to know about that
761
01:26:58,779 --> 01:27:00,883
But anything else I'm gonna know about it,
you understand?
762
01:27:01,000 --> 01:27:03,380
And you interrogate the prisonner, okay?
763
01:27:03,735 --> 01:27:05,690
- Yes Effendi
- Go
764
01:27:19,670 --> 01:27:22,020
This room is very beautiful
765
01:27:22,921 --> 01:27:29,419
It must certainly is,
but not as beautiful as you
766
01:27:31,450 --> 01:27:36,840
Your beauty is as expansive as the desert
767
01:27:40,100 --> 01:27:43,590
You are like an oasis
768
01:27:47,500 --> 01:27:48,410
Oh...
769
01:27:50,500 --> 01:27:51,880
Look at me
770
01:28:03,900 --> 01:28:05,720
Do not fear my power
771
01:28:14,700 --> 01:28:15,780
What?
772
01:28:17,060 --> 01:28:18,850
Oh!
773
01:28:19,829 --> 01:28:21,640
My maid must have left this. Nevermind
774
01:28:23,000 --> 01:28:26,620
Look into my eyes.
I want your passion
775
01:39:49,861 --> 01:39:52,030
You're so powerful
776
01:39:52,720 --> 01:39:55,430
- The treasures ***
- Abdul!
777
01:39:58,000 --> 01:39:59,119
Abdul!
778
01:39:59,890 --> 01:40:01,530
I've been looking all over
the palace for you.
779
01:40:01,530 --> 01:40:03,120
What are you doing in my room?
780
01:40:04,120 --> 01:40:05,700
(This is not your room?)
781
01:40:07,470 --> 01:40:09,420
And what is Teddy doing on the floor?
782
01:40:23,403 --> 01:40:24,784
Let... Let me explain...
783
01:40:25,202 --> 01:40:26,535
Explain what?
784
01:40:26,550 --> 01:40:29,570
That you have one of Hussein's
concubines in my bed?
785
01:40:30,000 --> 01:40:32,240
If he finds out
he'll cut off both our balls
786
01:40:32,621 --> 01:40:33,761
I will not tell
787
01:40:34,371 --> 01:40:35,794
You know what? Begone with yourself
788
01:40:36,150 --> 01:40:37,990
Be out of here before someone sees you
789
01:40:38,600 --> 01:40:43,000
Yes... A thousand pardons... [arabic]
790
01:40:43,000 --> 01:40:45,470
I should kick your ass, but I have no time
791
01:40:45,470 --> 01:40:47,340
Hussein needs us. Dress quickly
792
01:41:08,217 --> 01:41:08,743
Huh.
793
01:41:09,828 --> 01:41:11,064
Wait a minute.
794
01:41:12,810 --> 01:41:14,490
Some of my cases are missing
795
01:41:16,830 --> 01:41:20,200
And where's Muffy?
Has anybody seen Muffy?
796
01:41:20,200 --> 01:41:21,585
What's a "muffy"?
797
01:41:22,500 --> 01:41:25,880
Muffy's my baby!
We have to go find Muffy
798
01:41:26,895 --> 01:41:28,860
She could be in the desert all by herself
799
01:41:28,900 --> 01:41:32,109
Rachel, get a hold of yourself.
We CANNOT go back
800
01:41:32,754 --> 01:41:35,860
Alright? There's no way she'd survive
the heat of the desert
801
01:41:36,520 --> 01:41:37,390
She's the casualty of war
802
01:41:37,900 --> 01:41:39,461
My baby...
803
01:41:43,300 --> 01:41:44,951
Hey look is this your shoe bag?
804
01:41:54,086 --> 01:41:56,051
These are the new summer collection
805
01:41:58,475 --> 01:41:58,977
See.
806
01:41:59,172 --> 01:42:01,102
See how easily she forgot about Muffy
807
01:42:02,609 --> 01:42:04,090
You know that could be me out there
808
01:42:04,678 --> 01:42:08,452
I though she you'd knew the difference...
but married 6 years.
809
01:42:09,137 --> 01:42:10,110
Seven!
810
01:42:10,987 --> 01:42:12,221
Seven years
811
01:42:14,102 --> 01:42:15,810
Seven looooong years
812
01:42:32,994 --> 01:42:34,060
[camel grunting]
813
01:42:34,400 --> 01:42:35,130
Ooh
814
01:42:35,950 --> 01:42:38,700
Watson, this is not what I had in mind
815
01:42:39,700 --> 01:42:41,050
You've been
on that damn thing all night, sir.
816
01:42:41,050 --> 01:42:42,250
surely it's my turn to ride
817
01:42:42,250 --> 01:42:44,870
Soon Watson, soon.
Remember those hostiles everywhere
818
01:42:44,950 --> 01:42:46,260
I must keep a lookout
819
01:42:47,500 --> 01:42:47,980
Oh
820
01:42:49,000 --> 01:42:51,070
- What is it?
- I see something in the distance
821
01:42:51,400 --> 01:42:51,850
Where?
822
01:42:51,850 --> 01:42:53,600
Look alike southeast of our position
823
01:42:53,600 --> 01:42:54,789
Pass me my lens
824
01:42:58,000 --> 01:42:59,859
What do you see?
What is it?
825
01:43:12,250 --> 01:43:14,510
I don't quite know Watson.
I can't make it out
826
01:43:15,300 --> 01:43:16,481
Good God
827
01:43:17,000 --> 01:43:18,770
I think the hit
he's gotten to me man
828
01:43:37,850 --> 01:43:39,670
[aaargh (George's making a big effort)]
829
01:43:40,100 --> 01:43:41,970
Stop trying to force it, George.
830
01:43:43,500 --> 01:43:44,830
It's really tight
831
01:43:45,000 --> 01:43:46,650
Try sliding it in gently
832
01:43:46,700 --> 01:43:47,800
[George's forcing]
833
01:43:47,900 --> 01:43:48,636
Gently
834
01:43:50,000 --> 01:43:51,031
Hold on
835
01:43:54,941 --> 01:43:55,971
Okay
836
01:44:03,000 --> 01:44:04,450
[camel's grunting]
837
01:44:14,400 --> 01:44:15,930
[camel's grunting]
838
01:44:19,035 --> 01:44:20,310
Stop! Identify yourself
839
01:44:20,310 --> 01:44:22,550
Agent Jackson Watson,
British Intelligence
840
01:44:22,550 --> 01:44:24,290
Now where the hell were you today?
841
01:44:24,290 --> 01:44:26,010
You could have cost us the mission, man
842
01:44:26,010 --> 01:44:28,600
What?
I made my pickup I don't understand
843
01:44:28,600 --> 01:44:29,250
What?
844
01:44:29,250 --> 01:44:30,251
The agents are...
845
01:44:30,251 --> 01:44:31,301
Yoohoo!
846
01:44:31,476 --> 01:44:32,476
Who the hell are you?
847
01:44:32,500 --> 01:44:34,080
(- You???)
(- What?)
848
01:44:34,080 --> 01:44:36,490
Wooo... I like your camel!
849
01:44:36,490 --> 01:44:38,090
Are you guys on a mission too?
850
01:44:38,810 --> 01:44:40,720
Identify yourself, what's your agency?
851
01:44:40,834 --> 01:44:43,786
Field agent Z, had a command a CIA
852
01:44:45,600 --> 01:44:47,530
You liar
853
01:44:48,110 --> 01:44:50,560
I'm sorry this is my husband Geroge
854
01:44:50,800 --> 01:44:52,900
He watches the mission files
in our building
855
01:44:53,101 --> 01:44:55,280
And I am the director's administrative
assistant, Rachel
856
01:44:55,500 --> 01:44:57,900
You guys must be the British
fellows who sent me the fax
857
01:44:57,950 --> 01:44:59,380
Pleased to meet you folks
858
01:44:59,380 --> 01:45:02,030
Good God what are you both doing here?
859
01:45:02,510 --> 01:45:04,670
This is a Code Red top-secret mission
860
01:45:05,050 --> 01:45:06,720
Not a sightseeing tour
861
01:45:07,535 --> 01:45:09,203
Okay, we'll take it from here
862
01:45:09,460 --> 01:45:12,380
You two, back in the camp while
we'll do recon of the area,
863
01:45:12,380 --> 01:45:14,280
and 0500 hours okay(?)
864
01:45:14,350 --> 01:45:16,590
Yes. Stay close to your tents
865
01:45:17,140 --> 01:45:19,500
Oh, don't get in our way
866
01:45:19,500 --> 01:45:22,220
- Hey, I think we can be of service
- Yeah
867
01:45:24,100 --> 01:45:25,490
Yes I think you might
868
01:45:25,900 --> 01:45:27,850
Be a good man and go make me
a nice cup of tea.
869
01:45:27,850 --> 01:45:29,670
I'm rather parched.
870
01:45:30,867 --> 01:45:33,720
Honey, your reputation precedes you
871
01:45:33,950 --> 01:45:34,960
Shut up Rachel
872
01:45:35,800 --> 01:45:38,910
So not really gonna stay in our tent
to let them have all the fun, are we?
873
01:45:40,200 --> 01:45:41,180
Yeah.
874
01:45:41,300 --> 01:45:46,150
Those limey bastards... Who they think they are?
Secret agents or something?
875
01:45:47,450 --> 01:45:50,190
Uuuuh... They are
876
01:45:50,941 --> 01:45:52,351
Oh... yeah... right
877
01:45:53,427 --> 01:45:54,110
Oh...
878
01:45:55,460 --> 01:45:56,734
I have an idea
879
01:45:57,010 --> 01:45:58,130
You know what we should do?
880
01:45:58,300 --> 01:46:00,660
We should get that nerve gas
that you had
881
01:46:00,660 --> 01:46:04,450
and put it in their tent and then,
after they're asleep,
882
01:46:04,450 --> 01:46:07,280
We can go to the palace and steal
the map to the warehouse
883
01:46:07,500 --> 01:46:09,020
That's a great idea
884
01:46:11,000 --> 01:46:12,870
Why do I have to go
gas him in the tent?
885
01:46:14,050 --> 01:46:15,800
I thought you were the leader
886
01:46:15,800 --> 01:46:18,120
and if I was a leader that's
what I would do
887
01:46:19,100 --> 01:46:20,140
Yes, of course
888
01:46:20,860 --> 01:46:21,770
I knew that
889
01:46:22,181 --> 01:46:24,430
I was just testing you, and you did well
890
01:46:25,400 --> 01:46:26,810
I want to go prepare the equipment
891
01:46:37,100 --> 01:46:38,670
Who do you work for?
892
01:46:40,850 --> 01:46:41,970
Tell me who sent you
893
01:46:44,950 --> 01:46:46,801
Where is the camp?
894
01:46:49,090 --> 01:46:51,350
Your silence only angers me
895
01:46:58,300 --> 01:46:58,921
Oh!
896
01:46:58,921 --> 01:47:00,451
Look at the will(?)
897
01:47:01,000 --> 01:47:02,860
Dog. Little dog
898
01:47:03,200 --> 01:47:05,070
Hum. Leave the prisoner with me
899
01:47:06,691 --> 01:47:07,185
Thank you
900
01:47:08,100 --> 01:47:09,519
- Pfff
- Dismissed
901
01:47:11,803 --> 01:47:13,950
We'll get the will(?) puppy wuppy
902
01:47:14,250 --> 01:47:16,809
You're so sweet
I think I'll name you Jihad
903
01:47:17,500 --> 01:47:18,550
Wanna dance?
904
01:47:18,680 --> 01:47:22,027
So that's the way, uh-ha uh-ha,
I like it
905
01:47:23,450 --> 01:47:25,619
[snorking]
906
01:47:36,600 --> 01:47:38,211
[*noise of camera taking a photo*]
907
01:47:52,450 --> 01:47:53,990
Which tent do you think they're in?
908
01:47:55,700 --> 01:47:57,180
I think it's that one
909
01:47:57,510 --> 01:47:58,767
- That one?
- Yeah
910
01:47:58,912 --> 01:48:00,482
With the Union Jack?
911
01:48:01,172 --> 01:48:03,622
- Yeah I think so
- That's a good guess
912
01:48:03,622 --> 01:48:04,342
- Yeah
- Yeah, okay.
913
01:49:02,552 --> 01:49:05,970
[*gas is leaking*]
914
01:49:30,592 --> 01:49:32,272
Guys, remember:
915
01:49:32,272 --> 01:49:34,600
The only way inside the palace office,
916
01:49:34,600 --> 01:49:36,010
without setting off the alarm,
917
01:49:36,010 --> 01:49:37,253
is going to be through the roof
918
01:49:37,700 --> 01:49:38,970
Once you're inside,
919
01:49:38,970 --> 01:49:41,460
the map is going to be
inside the desk
920
01:49:41,850 --> 01:49:42,520
- Got it?
- Okay
921
01:49:42,920 --> 01:49:43,670
Got it
922
01:49:56,252 --> 01:49:57,252
[body felt on the floor]
923
01:50:07,400 --> 01:50:08,410
Honey?
924
01:50:08,410 --> 01:50:10,290
How did you get in here?
925
01:50:10,820 --> 01:50:12,690
Front door. It's unlocked
926
01:50:25,150 --> 01:50:25,819
Okay
927
01:50:26,400 --> 01:50:28,251
- I'm gonna find the office
- Okay
928
01:50:44,600 --> 01:50:45,510
It's this way
929
01:50:46,000 --> 01:50:46,540
Okay
930
01:50:47,500 --> 01:50:48,450
Rachel, wait
931
01:50:48,830 --> 01:50:50,250
You set off the alarm.
932
01:51:23,600 --> 01:51:25,480
That was amazing
933
01:51:26,100 --> 01:51:28,330
Did you forget
how flexible my body is?
934
01:51:29,340 --> 01:51:32,160
Well considering the fact that
you never let me see it anymore
935
01:51:32,160 --> 01:51:34,370
I've forgotten quite a few
things about your body
936
01:51:35,200 --> 01:51:37,440
Not now, George. Really
937
01:52:08,301 --> 01:52:09,551
It's locked
938
01:52:23,750 --> 01:52:24,530
- George?
- Uh?
939
01:52:24,950 --> 01:52:26,040
I found it
940
01:52:26,300 --> 01:52:27,670
- Lets get out of there
- Okay
941
01:52:27,850 --> 01:52:28,750
[*crash*]
942
01:52:29,110 --> 01:52:31,960
[*alarm*]
943
01:52:32,500 --> 01:52:33,530
Come on Rachel
944
01:52:34,450 --> 01:52:36,650
- Go, go
- There's a problem George
945
01:52:54,000 --> 01:52:55,800
[*gunshots*]
946
01:53:35,550 --> 01:53:37,010
Oh...
947
01:53:39,400 --> 01:53:41,390
Watson, the full of my head's been
bashed in
948
01:53:43,790 --> 01:53:45,050
I think it was this, sir
949
01:53:47,300 --> 01:53:48,820
Those damned Americans
950
01:53:49,350 --> 01:53:50,740
They're gonna get us killed, Watson
951
01:53:52,250 --> 01:53:53,830
They think they're Cowboys or something
952
01:53:54,830 --> 01:53:56,361
Too much television I'd say
953
01:54:10,900 --> 01:54:12,480
What the hell was you thinking?
954
01:54:12,594 --> 01:54:13,928
You're gonna get us all killed
955
01:54:14,250 --> 01:54:15,500
This isn't a game
956
01:54:16,000 --> 01:54:17,490
You do anything like that again,
957
01:54:17,490 --> 01:54:18,050
and I will...
958
01:54:18,050 --> 01:54:19,080
You'll what?
959
01:54:20,200 --> 01:54:22,452
I'll be forced to kill you
960
01:54:23,310 --> 01:54:25,449
[Rachel's laughing]
I would like to see you try
961
01:54:26,650 --> 01:54:27,590
[tazzer]
962
01:54:29,470 --> 01:54:30,681
Ha ha ha
963
01:54:31,200 --> 01:54:32,610
That's smart, doesn't it?
964
01:54:32,610 --> 01:54:34,770
Oh you gotta watch her with that,
she's like a ninja
965
01:54:38,320 --> 01:54:39,859
Anything you'd like to add?
966
01:54:49,450 --> 01:54:50,740
We got the map
967
01:54:51,800 --> 01:54:54,490
You what? Well done!
968
01:54:54,850 --> 01:54:56,290
So we're team now, right?
969
01:54:56,860 --> 01:55:00,860
♪ You want our help ♪
♪ You want our help ♪
970
01:55:00,800 --> 01:55:02,850
Good! Say it!
Say it!
971
01:55:03,000 --> 01:55:05,710
Yes, yes, we need your help
972
01:55:08,110 --> 01:55:12,510
Oh, and I also got you this
973
01:55:13,200 --> 01:55:15,691
On here you'll find all the
reconnaissance photos
974
01:55:15,691 --> 01:55:17,681
to get you safely into the palace
975
01:55:18,541 --> 01:55:20,551
Excellent work my dear
976
01:55:23,061 --> 01:55:25,181
What the hell happened to you, man?
977
01:55:25,851 --> 01:55:29,191
Oh well I had to take out a couple
of guards too
978
01:55:29,750 --> 01:55:33,200
In fact I killed them with my bare hands
979
01:55:33,400 --> 01:55:36,511
I got rid of the bodies,
I dragged them far away
980
01:55:36,560 --> 01:55:39,970
They'll never be found so, you know,
you don't have to worry
981
01:55:39,970 --> 01:55:41,180
Won't come back on you
982
01:55:42,450 --> 01:55:45,070
Yes. Quite the hero he was
983
01:55:46,070 --> 01:55:49,070
Oh. Good job, man.
I was wrong about you
984
01:55:49,350 --> 01:55:51,250
I thought you were just a pen pusher
985
01:55:52,650 --> 01:55:54,890
Well... We got lots of training to do
986
01:55:54,890 --> 01:55:57,621
We've to go over the intel reports
that Rachel gather.
987
01:56:04,241 --> 01:56:06,021
Argh... Watson?
988
01:56:06,300 --> 01:56:07,020
Yes?
989
01:56:07,020 --> 01:56:08,900
That's one tough burd(?), Watson.
990
01:56:09,650 --> 01:56:11,020
I should say
991
01:56:11,400 --> 01:56:12,200
[♪ camera shutter]
992
01:56:14,250 --> 01:56:15,190
Nice
993
01:56:18,400 --> 01:56:19,701
You're okay, sir?
994
01:56:20,100 --> 01:56:22,180
No. I'm not okay
995
01:56:22,980 --> 01:56:24,180
Get a cup of tea?
996
01:56:24,500 --> 01:56:25,300
Two sugars
997
01:56:25,300 --> 01:56:26,620
Yeah, ok, I go get some, sir
998
01:56:34,167 --> 01:56:35,986
Let's go! Ladies,
let's look alive here.
999
01:56:36,000 --> 01:56:37,290
Let's go, move it, push it up,
1000
01:56:37,300 --> 01:56:38,600
yeah, that's right Jackson
1001
01:56:38,600 --> 01:56:40,300
Move it, up and down, up and down
1002
01:56:40,730 --> 01:56:42,020
Watson, good job!
1003
01:56:54,600 --> 01:56:55,980
Go, go, go
1004
01:57:11,900 --> 01:57:12,810
I'm okay!
1005
01:57:24,950 --> 01:57:25,990
I'm okay!
1006
01:57:51,300 --> 01:57:53,060
[*crash*]
1007
01:57:55,450 --> 01:57:57,020
Okay, now listen up
1008
01:57:57,500 --> 01:57:59,490
Me and Watson will take out
the palace guards here
1009
01:57:59,700 --> 01:58:00,600
and here
1010
01:58:00,950 --> 01:58:03,410
Moving forward to the throne room
and take out Husein
1011
01:58:04,100 --> 01:58:05,591
Rachel, George,
1012
01:58:05,591 --> 01:58:06,901
take Bob's Jeep,
1013
01:58:06,901 --> 01:58:08,731
go to the warehouse
1014
01:58:10,200 --> 01:58:13,250
Go to the warehouse
and disarm the weapon,
1015
01:58:13,350 --> 01:58:15,180
by removing the uranium warhead
1016
01:58:15,600 --> 01:58:16,820
Now don't mess this up
1017
01:58:16,820 --> 01:58:18,000
Is everyone clear?
1018
01:58:18,000 --> 01:58:18,690
Yes, sir
1019
01:58:18,690 --> 01:58:19,610
Good
1020
01:58:22,400 --> 01:58:23,510
Watson, what are you doing?
1021
01:58:24,050 --> 01:58:25,470
Something to remember our trip together
1022
01:58:25,470 --> 01:58:26,400
Good God, man.
1023
01:58:26,400 --> 01:58:28,650
This is not a bloody lads holidays,
this is a mission
1024
01:58:28,650 --> 01:58:29,461
Now move out
1025
01:58:32,491 --> 01:58:35,431
Not that cheap, it's almost paid off(?)
1026
01:59:11,700 --> 01:59:13,730
- Nicely done(?), sir.
- Thank You Watson.
1027
01:59:17,250 --> 01:59:18,220
Listen Watson,
1028
01:59:18,340 --> 01:59:20,900
We have the element of surprise on our side.
Any idea?
1029
01:59:20,900 --> 01:59:22,410
we can't going guns blazing.
1030
01:59:22,800 --> 01:59:25,109
So you have your silencer?
And knife
1031
01:59:25,600 --> 01:59:28,241
Then you go on fire, and kill anyone
you come across
1032
01:59:28,750 --> 01:59:29,300
Anyone?
1033
01:59:29,300 --> 01:59:32,040
Yes. Anyone, man,
if you want to get out alive.
1034
01:59:32,650 --> 01:59:34,490
- Is that clear?
- Crystal
1035
01:59:34,490 --> 01:59:35,209
Follow me
1036
01:59:43,800 --> 01:59:46,300
[*Indistinct girls voices
in the background*]
1037
01:59:48,800 --> 01:59:50,030
- You hear that?
1038
02:00:11,900 --> 02:00:12,840
Oh my God...
1039
02:00:14,000 --> 02:00:15,180
I've died and gone to heaven
1040
02:00:15,300 --> 02:00:17,340
Don't worry, I'll take out this
1041
02:00:17,340 --> 02:00:18,470
What are you doing, man?
1042
02:00:18,900 --> 02:00:20,500
You forgot your training?
1043
02:00:20,500 --> 02:00:21,700
Hostiles, sir
1044
02:00:22,150 --> 02:00:23,560
Kill anyone I see
1045
02:00:23,560 --> 02:00:25,281
It's them or me, that's what you said
1046
02:00:25,400 --> 02:00:27,870
Goodness me, have you forgot what
is to be a British agent?
1047
02:00:28,600 --> 02:00:30,230
To protect our fine country, sir
1048
02:00:30,400 --> 02:00:32,511
Oh my God, no no no,
to be licensed to kill,
1049
02:00:32,511 --> 02:00:35,900
and licensed to fuck the finest
women the world has to offer
1050
02:00:36,050 --> 02:00:38,150
Ah...
So this is not the time to kill
1051
02:00:38,150 --> 02:00:38,750
No
1052
02:00:38,900 --> 02:00:39,940
No no no,
1053
02:00:39,940 --> 02:00:42,770
this is time to "party"
1054
02:00:50,671 --> 02:00:52,791
- Yes
- No no no, don't, no
1055
02:00:53,550 --> 02:00:56,000
What are you doing in these chambers,
it is forbidden
1056
02:00:58,550 --> 02:01:00,290
- You can scream and I'll just know it
- Oh...
1057
02:01:01,000 --> 02:01:02,060
Don't worry
1058
02:01:02,230 --> 02:01:05,090
We would not alert the guards to
the presence of our rescuers
1059
02:01:06,550 --> 02:01:07,460
Rescuers?
1060
02:01:07,540 --> 02:01:09,419
You're here to rescue us, aren't you?
1061
02:01:09,419 --> 02:01:10,449
Of course we are! Yes,
1062
02:01:10,449 --> 02:01:13,150
Yes, we're here to rescue.
We're just glad you're all in one piece
1063
02:01:13,479 --> 02:01:16,159
We have not seen men like you before
1064
02:01:16,159 --> 02:01:18,000
We only see one man
1065
02:01:18,000 --> 02:01:20,329
Oh... That's nice... I guess
1066
02:01:20,320 --> 02:01:22,920
Nice? Have you seen him?
1067
02:01:27,600 --> 02:01:28,949
Holy Jesus!
1068
02:01:29,000 --> 02:01:30,600
Uh... Nasty
1069
02:01:30,600 --> 02:01:31,660
You see?
1070
02:01:32,000 --> 02:01:33,250
Well, yes, I do
1071
02:01:35,050 --> 02:01:37,400
Well, we must be awful.
We're gonna clear the palace
1072
02:01:37,450 --> 02:01:38,739
to rescue you of course
1073
02:01:39,000 --> 02:01:39,700
Wait!
1074
02:01:39,900 --> 02:01:42,630
You must do one thing for us
before you leave
1075
02:01:43,850 --> 02:01:46,859
You must pleasure us before
you leave this place
1076
02:01:47,500 --> 02:01:49,260
What? All of you?
1077
02:01:50,260 --> 02:01:52,360
My God. I did die and go to heaven
1078
02:12:39,700 --> 02:12:40,802
God damn it
1079
02:12:41,750 --> 02:12:43,080
Hostiles on the road
1080
02:12:44,800 --> 02:12:46,070
What could I do?
1081
02:12:48,050 --> 02:12:49,431
You know, I have an idea
1082
02:12:53,700 --> 02:12:55,010
I want to use the big gun
1083
02:12:55,120 --> 02:12:57,730
Rachel, this is not a big gun,
this is a rocket launcher
1084
02:12:57,850 --> 02:12:59,650
Whatever it is, I want to use it
1085
02:12:59,650 --> 02:13:00,600
- It's my turn
- No, no
1086
02:13:00,600 --> 02:13:02,190
- Yes
- Rachel, no
1087
02:13:02,190 --> 02:13:02,880
Yes
1088
02:13:03,201 --> 02:13:03,921
No
1089
02:13:07,001 --> 02:13:09,931
If you don't let me use it, you never
gonna see my naked body again
1090
02:13:10,700 --> 02:13:12,990
Oh, and that's any different
from now how?
1091
02:13:13,500 --> 02:13:14,981
Aw, just thinking you know,
1092
02:13:14,981 --> 02:13:17,001
it's really hot out here
1093
02:13:18,000 --> 02:13:21,510
Look at me... you...
how cute you look in those
1094
02:13:21,510 --> 02:13:23,600
desert camel outfit
1095
02:13:24,500 --> 02:13:25,520
- Good
- Yeah
1096
02:13:26,050 --> 02:13:27,150
You know,
1097
02:13:27,150 --> 02:13:29,230
how much I wanna touch your big,
1098
02:13:29,230 --> 02:13:31,250
hard, rocket?
1099
02:13:31,250 --> 02:13:31,600
[*sigh*]
1100
02:13:31,600 --> 02:13:32,400
[*bang*]
1101
02:13:36,800 --> 02:13:39,560
See George,
that's the problem with you:
1102
02:13:39,650 --> 02:13:41,400
Alyways premature
1103
02:13:41,400 --> 02:13:43,779
Rachel, shut up, come on.
Let's get out of here
1104
02:14:01,350 --> 02:14:03,850
30,000 FEET ABOVE THE EARTH,
EVIL SWOOPS IN
1105
02:14:15,100 --> 02:14:16,700
On the way
1106
02:14:33,489 --> 02:14:35,089
Target acquired.
1107
02:15:23,200 --> 02:15:24,820
Go, go, go
1108
02:15:33,850 --> 02:15:35,610
I think you should try
to make it to the door
1109
02:15:36,400 --> 02:15:37,850
Maybe it's unlocked
1110
02:15:39,500 --> 02:15:40,760
Come on hop with me
1111
02:15:41,000 --> 02:15:41,910
Ready?
1112
02:15:45,400 --> 02:15:46,350
What are you doing?
1113
02:15:47,000 --> 02:15:49,280
I think we should go by the window
1114
02:15:49,280 --> 02:15:50,780
and yell for help, okay?
1115
02:15:50,900 --> 02:15:53,270
George, that's a stupid idea
1116
02:15:53,590 --> 02:15:54,440
Come on this way
1117
02:15:54,440 --> 02:15:55,021
No
1118
02:15:55,400 --> 02:15:56,570
- This way
- No, this way
1119
02:15:56,570 --> 02:15:58,560
- This way
- This way
1120
02:16:00,241 --> 02:16:01,081
[Together:] - THIS WAY
1121
02:16:01,071 --> 02:16:01,521
No!
1122
02:16:02,050 --> 02:16:02,760
Ah!
1123
02:16:05,641 --> 02:16:07,000
Oh, fuck
1124
02:16:07,000 --> 02:16:07,550
(Ouch)
1125
02:16:09,450 --> 02:16:11,090
Idiot...
1126
02:16:14,950 --> 02:16:16,761
I can't believe you blew up Bob's Jeep.
1127
02:16:17,700 --> 02:16:18,420
Me?
1128
02:16:18,800 --> 02:16:19,600
ME?
1129
02:16:20,100 --> 02:16:23,020
I can't fucking believe I brought
you on this mission
1130
02:16:24,150 --> 02:16:25,870
After six years of marriage,
1131
02:16:25,870 --> 02:16:27,800
you think I've learned my lesson,
1132
02:16:27,800 --> 02:16:28,920
but no.
1133
02:16:29,100 --> 02:16:32,419
My dumb ass brings your dumb ass
halfway around the world
1134
02:16:32,419 --> 02:16:34,929
so you can make me look
like a bigger dumbass
1135
02:16:35,260 --> 02:16:36,480
Unbelievable!
1136
02:16:36,800 --> 02:16:37,679
Wow,
1137
02:16:37,679 --> 02:16:39,220
Little pent-up, aren't you?
1138
02:16:39,220 --> 02:16:40,330
- You think.
- *ouch*
1139
02:16:40,740 --> 02:16:42,600
Can a man just get a little head,
1140
02:16:42,600 --> 02:16:43,730
just a little,
1141
02:16:43,730 --> 02:16:47,070
just a little sucky sucky,
a blow job here and there?
1142
02:16:49,500 --> 02:16:50,890
Have you lost your mind?
1143
02:16:50,890 --> 02:16:52,480
Are you crazy?
1144
02:16:53,500 --> 02:16:55,440
We're in this mess because
you blew up the Jeep
1145
02:16:56,000 --> 02:16:56,980
[George coughs]
1146
02:16:57,750 --> 02:17:00,130
This- was- your- fault
1147
02:17:01,200 --> 02:17:02,340
My fault?
1148
02:17:02,340 --> 02:17:04,400
How the fuck is this my fault?
1149
02:17:04,890 --> 02:17:09,050
"Oh you're so sexy in the uniform".
Blah blah blah
1150
02:17:09,230 --> 02:17:11,340
If you weren't busy molesting
a rocket launcher,
1151
02:17:11,340 --> 02:17:13,600
I wouldn't have accidentally set it off
1152
02:17:14,000 --> 02:17:15,640
Are you kidding me?
1153
02:17:19,700 --> 02:17:20,940
Rachel,
1154
02:17:21,294 --> 02:17:27,230
Do you've any idea how hard it is to be
married to a beautiful woman like you,
1155
02:17:28,230 --> 02:17:30,910
and having guys constantly
vying for your attention,
1156
02:17:30,910 --> 02:17:32,530
trying to impress you?
1157
02:17:37,100 --> 02:17:40,010
I know you want to be with
a successful man,
1158
02:17:40,010 --> 02:17:42,970
like... like Agent X,
1159
02:17:45,200 --> 02:17:47,011
and on top of that,
1160
02:17:48,011 --> 02:17:50,171
you know every day I still want you,
1161
02:17:50,171 --> 02:17:52,841
just as bad and just as passionately,
1162
02:17:53,850 --> 02:17:56,240
as the first day I laid eyes on you
1163
02:17:57,300 --> 02:17:58,620
And you don't seem...
1164
02:18:01,100 --> 02:18:03,310
...to want me... to...
1165
02:18:04,400 --> 02:18:06,209
to want me at all
1166
02:18:08,350 --> 02:18:10,399
That's not true, George
1167
02:18:13,700 --> 02:18:14,820
You're just...
1168
02:18:16,450 --> 02:18:18,500
You're obsessed with your job and...
1169
02:18:19,200 --> 02:18:20,340
[*sigh*]
1170
02:18:21,340 --> 02:18:23,100
getting a mission...
1171
02:18:26,500 --> 02:18:27,670
...it's...
1172
02:18:28,700 --> 02:18:31,440
...it's like I'm not
important to you anymore
1173
02:18:32,650 --> 02:18:34,210
Don't you get it?
1174
02:18:35,700 --> 02:18:37,720
It's because you're important to me
1175
02:18:39,400 --> 02:18:40,440
that I want a mission,
1176
02:18:40,440 --> 02:18:43,900
that I want to keep my head buried
in the work
1177
02:18:44,850 --> 02:18:46,540
I want you to be proud of me,
I want you to...
1178
02:18:46,800 --> 02:18:48,160
I want you to be proud
1179
02:18:48,700 --> 02:18:49,870
walking around with me
1180
02:18:50,950 --> 02:18:51,930
Baby,
1181
02:18:53,100 --> 02:18:54,611
I am proud of you
1182
02:18:54,611 --> 02:18:55,951
You mean it?
1183
02:18:56,681 --> 02:18:58,051
Yes, of course
1184
02:18:59,350 --> 02:19:00,270
I love you
1185
02:19:03,000 --> 02:19:04,340
I love you too
1186
02:19:13,450 --> 02:19:15,020
How very touching
1187
02:19:16,150 --> 02:19:17,680
Agent M?
1188
02:19:17,800 --> 02:19:19,300
Don't look so shocked
1189
02:19:19,800 --> 02:19:21,480
And it's Miranda
1190
02:19:21,850 --> 02:19:23,130
(- But why?)
1191
02:19:23,440 --> 02:19:24,950
Uh, money. Why else?
1192
02:19:26,000 --> 02:19:26,890
Come.
1193
02:19:26,890 --> 02:19:29,040
I've brought the coordinates
to the White House,
1194
02:19:29,040 --> 02:19:31,451
I'll deal with these lovebirds later
1195
02:19:36,400 --> 02:19:38,060
Always thought she was kind of a bitch
1196
02:19:38,060 --> 02:19:38,920
Yeah
1197
02:19:39,152 --> 02:19:41,800
She'd big monstrous feet too
1198
02:19:42,350 --> 02:19:44,679
I hope the Brits
are having better luck than us
1199
02:19:53,150 --> 02:19:54,840
Hum hum. Sir?
1200
02:19:54,840 --> 02:19:56,170
What is it Watson?
1201
02:19:57,550 --> 02:20:00,730
We're gonna need a damn good
plan to get past his own guards
1202
02:20:01,000 --> 02:20:04,000
Yes Watson. I'm on it
1203
02:20:05,300 --> 02:20:07,160
I have an idea
1204
02:20:21,400 --> 02:20:22,450
Are you fidgeting?
1205
02:20:22,640 --> 02:20:23,450
Trust me
1206
02:20:25,900 --> 02:20:27,500
I know that sound
1207
02:20:28,900 --> 02:20:29,710
What is that?
1208
02:20:29,810 --> 02:20:31,130
It's my nail file
1209
02:20:32,100 --> 02:20:33,170
Oh...
1210
02:20:36,100 --> 02:20:37,030
Shit!
1211
02:20:47,950 --> 02:20:49,000
- Are you okay?
- Yeah
1212
02:20:50,350 --> 02:20:51,660
Did you mean what you said?
1213
02:20:51,800 --> 02:20:53,010
Of course I did
1214
02:21:02,200 --> 02:21:04,000
We still gonna stop them now
1215
02:21:04,850 --> 02:21:05,610
I know
1216
02:21:07,100 --> 02:21:09,190
All right, I'm going to disarm the bomb,
1217
02:21:10,100 --> 02:21:11,301
you create a diversion
1218
02:21:11,301 --> 02:21:11,801
Okay
1219
02:21:11,801 --> 02:21:12,451
Okay?
1220
02:21:14,150 --> 02:21:14,900
Rachel?
1221
02:21:16,300 --> 02:21:17,390
Did I thank you?
1222
02:21:18,150 --> 02:21:19,110
No
1223
02:21:19,759 --> 02:21:20,980
I will
1224
02:21:34,700 --> 02:21:36,420
I could go this way, disarm the bomb,
1225
02:21:36,420 --> 02:21:37,980
you go that way
1226
02:21:39,950 --> 02:21:40,850
Okay?
1227
02:22:11,050 --> 02:22:12,330
Oh shit
1228
02:22:15,900 --> 02:22:16,630
Hi
1229
02:22:18,600 --> 02:22:19,870
Just...
1230
02:22:19,870 --> 02:22:21,261
...looking for the...
1231
02:22:21,750 --> 02:22:22,550
...ladies room
1232
02:22:29,200 --> 02:22:30,920
I tell you Gamush:
1233
02:22:31,650 --> 02:22:34,479
donkey fucking will become a sport
1234
02:22:34,600 --> 02:22:37,140
Babali, it will never become a sport
1235
02:22:37,140 --> 02:22:38,770
Who, in the right mind,
1236
02:22:38,770 --> 02:22:41,000
would pay good money
to see such a thing,
1237
02:22:41,000 --> 02:22:43,950
when you know that horses are
so much more entertaining?
1238
02:22:43,950 --> 02:22:45,331
Horses aren't entertaining
1239
02:22:47,400 --> 02:22:48,999
[*door opens*]
1240
02:22:48,999 --> 02:22:50,269
[*chains and arabic jewelry sounds*]
1241
02:22:53,900 --> 02:22:55,070
This's never gonna work
1242
02:22:55,329 --> 02:22:56,339
Have some faith, man
1243
02:22:56,339 --> 02:22:57,089
Some faith?
1244
02:22:57,250 --> 02:22:59,200
How I became an agent
and run around in lady's underpants.
1245
02:22:59,200 --> 02:22:59,700
Shhh!
1246
02:23:00,200 --> 02:23:01,050
What do we have here?
1247
02:23:01,050 --> 02:23:03,720
I have two new concubines for His Highness
1248
02:23:04,800 --> 02:23:07,710
Ah... Very very nice
1249
02:23:09,000 --> 02:23:11,590
I'm thinking I like this one
1250
02:23:11,590 --> 02:23:12,060
Uh
1251
02:23:12,060 --> 02:23:13,390
Strong like horse
1252
02:23:13,390 --> 02:23:15,410
How dare you touch Hussein's property?
1253
02:23:15,410 --> 02:23:18,340
He would cut your hand off
for showing such disrespect
1254
02:23:18,650 --> 02:23:21,460
Now step aside and let us through.
1255
02:23:22,200 --> 02:23:24,080
Thousand pardons, thousand pardons.
1256
02:23:24,080 --> 02:23:25,160
What were you thinking?
1257
02:23:26,160 --> 02:23:26,770
What we're...
1258
02:23:27,850 --> 02:23:29,850
Oh oh, that was for me?
1259
02:23:29,850 --> 02:23:31,450
For you? What are you talking about?
1260
02:23:31,450 --> 02:23:33,392
You look like every other guard here
1261
02:23:33,540 --> 02:23:34,750
I'm a very handsome man
1262
02:23:34,750 --> 02:23:36,040
I have a nice physique
1263
02:23:36,740 --> 02:23:38,550
Hmm, maybe you are right. Okay.
1264
02:23:38,550 --> 02:23:39,300
(I thank you Sir.)
1265
02:23:39,300 --> 02:23:41,309
- Let's go back to our post
- Okay
1266
02:23:42,150 --> 02:23:43,880
Who's my little Jihad?
1267
02:23:43,880 --> 02:23:45,470
Who is my little Jihad?
1268
02:23:45,470 --> 02:23:46,070
Come on
1269
02:23:46,220 --> 02:23:47,320
A kiss to Papa
1270
02:23:47,320 --> 02:23:48,430
Come on, don't be shy
1271
02:23:48,410 --> 02:23:49,130
There you go
1272
02:23:49,130 --> 02:23:50,850
Oh, would you talk cutie thing(?)
1273
02:23:51,100 --> 02:23:52,660
Hello, what's this?
1274
02:23:52,750 --> 02:23:55,340
I have brought two new wives for you
1275
02:23:56,131 --> 02:23:58,151
Ah... Two wives for me
1276
02:23:58,350 --> 02:23:59,790
Jade you shouldn't have
1277
02:23:59,790 --> 02:24:02,099
Is this in honor
of my birthday next week?
1278
02:24:04,650 --> 02:24:05,560
[*gunshots*]
1279
02:24:21,850 --> 02:24:22,600
Go
1280
02:24:23,900 --> 02:24:24,940
Wait for me
1281
02:25:05,541 --> 02:25:06,890
What took you so long?
1282
02:25:08,220 --> 02:25:09,930
Gather the girls
and meet me out front.
1283
02:25:11,150 --> 02:25:11,700
Okay
1284
02:25:13,700 --> 02:25:14,640
Now Watson.
1285
02:25:19,700 --> 02:25:21,040
Where did he go?
Come
1286
02:25:40,400 --> 02:25:41,430
Let's see...
1287
02:25:53,000 --> 02:25:55,261
Ah... It is nice
1288
02:26:24,150 --> 02:26:24,930
[*Jafar laughs*]
1289
02:26:25,600 --> 02:26:27,670
Silly American fashion
1290
02:27:03,110 --> 02:27:04,290
[*noise of a public cheering up*]
1291
02:27:08,999 --> 02:27:10,250
[*Jafar laughs*]
1292
02:27:15,230 --> 02:27:16,240
[*Music from the 50's*]
1293
02:27:22,750 --> 02:27:23,681
[*Circus theme*]
1294
02:27:37,400 --> 02:27:38,400
[*Psycho's theme*]
1295
02:27:38,880 --> 02:27:40,790
I am mistress Stern
1296
02:27:42,550 --> 02:27:45,160
Well, hello to you sexy lady
1297
02:27:46,300 --> 02:27:47,640
Come to Jafar
1298
02:27:48,950 --> 02:27:49,680
Come on
1299
02:27:54,380 --> 02:27:56,010
[*strike of a whip*]
Move that out of my way
1300
02:27:57,150 --> 02:27:58,510
So...
1301
02:27:58,600 --> 02:28:00,670
You've been a bad boy, huh?
1302
02:28:00,699 --> 02:28:02,889
- You do not scare me
- Really?
1303
02:28:02,889 --> 02:28:04,100
- I am Jafar
- Really
1304
02:28:04,100 --> 02:28:05,000
[*sound of whip*]
1305
02:28:05,000 --> 02:28:06,151
How about now?
1306
02:28:06,151 --> 02:28:07,201
Oh... maybe a little
1307
02:28:07,201 --> 02:28:08,961
- Little?
- Little
1308
02:28:10,350 --> 02:28:12,410
Oh... Are you gonna do
what I tell you to do?
1309
02:28:12,900 --> 02:28:13,490
Yes
1310
02:28:13,750 --> 02:28:15,910
I hope so, or I have to punish you
1311
02:28:17,930 --> 02:28:19,580
Let's see what we got here
1312
02:28:21,700 --> 02:28:23,290
Sounds like fun for me
1313
02:28:26,050 --> 02:28:26,730
Come here
1314
02:28:29,450 --> 02:28:30,560
Put your face in there
1315
02:28:36,950 --> 02:28:38,570
- You will fuck me good?
- Yes
1316
02:28:39,400 --> 02:28:40,310
I hope so
1317
02:28:40,310 --> 02:28:42,490
*** will be
1318
02:28:43,010 --> 02:28:45,570
But don't you start
by eating my pussy, huh?
1319
02:28:45,720 --> 02:28:47,240
Show me what you can do
1320
02:36:36,420 --> 02:36:39,368
That's right, take Jaffar
come on.
1321
02:36:41,620 --> 02:36:42,568
[Music]
1322
02:36:48,650 --> 02:36:49,950
(You like that)
1323
02:36:51,550 --> 02:36:53,919
Come on take Jafar, that's right
1324
02:36:54,220 --> 02:36:56,550
Oh you like that, you like that
1325
02:41:25,490 --> 02:41:27,370
HOW TO DISASSEMBLE A NUCLEAR BOMB
1326
02:41:35,950 --> 02:41:37,618
[*Salsa music*]
1327
02:41:50,000 --> 02:41:53,570
[*Salsa music*]
1328
02:42:13,350 --> 02:42:14,510
What's going on in there?
1329
02:42:15,000 --> 02:42:16,680
You asked for distraction
1330
02:42:17,200 --> 02:42:19,150
I'd say they're pretty
fucking distracted
1331
02:42:19,800 --> 02:42:21,870
Yeah, I'll give you that
1332
02:42:24,849 --> 02:42:27,349
So, I found the bomb. I defused it
1333
02:42:27,550 --> 02:42:29,990
And I found a room full of Jeeps,
so we get that hell out of here
1334
02:42:29,990 --> 02:42:30,929
Let's go
1335
02:42:58,100 --> 02:42:58,700
What?
1336
02:42:58,700 --> 02:43:00,601
I left the bag here, I know I did.
1337
02:43:02,250 --> 02:43:03,151
George...
1338
02:43:03,151 --> 02:43:04,772
Perhaps you're looking for this?
1339
02:43:04,772 --> 02:43:06,202
Oh no...
1340
02:43:06,923 --> 02:43:08,383
Rachel, get down!
1341
02:43:09,200 --> 02:43:09,720
[*ouch*]
1342
02:43:10,850 --> 02:43:11,460
[*Jafar laughs*]
1343
02:43:12,040 --> 02:43:14,000
All right [*indistinct speech*]
1344
02:43:15,750 --> 02:43:16,321
(George!)
1345
02:43:17,918 --> 02:43:20,700
Rachel, give me that… the vest, please.
1346
02:43:27,800 --> 02:43:29,180
My mother kicks harder than that
1347
02:43:29,180 --> 02:43:31,160
Oh does she? How about...
1348
02:43:32,850 --> 02:43:35,110
...down here,
let's see what we have over here.
1349
02:43:36,670 --> 02:43:38,019
Hello, missy.
1350
02:43:43,981 --> 02:43:44,891
George!
1351
02:43:50,450 --> 02:43:53,760
I'm sorry, but I don't think it's such
a good time for fishing my friend
1352
02:43:54,460 --> 02:43:55,390
You're not my friend
1353
02:44:13,400 --> 02:44:14,200
Oh my God
1354
02:44:14,200 --> 02:44:16,060
I told you these vests were cool.
1355
02:44:16,060 --> 02:44:17,150
Are you okay?
1356
02:44:17,150 --> 02:44:18,300
I'm okay. You okay?
1357
02:44:18,300 --> 02:44:19,010
Yeah, I'm okay
1358
02:44:19,250 --> 02:44:20,050
God...
1359
02:44:20,500 --> 02:44:21,170
Ouch
1360
02:44:25,180 --> 02:44:27,380
You wouldn't shoot an unarmed
woman, won't you?
1361
02:44:29,500 --> 02:44:31,090
I would never do that
1362
02:44:32,300 --> 02:44:34,170
I only use my bare hands
1363
02:44:34,850 --> 02:44:36,440
so I can feel it
1364
02:44:45,051 --> 02:44:46,471
You bitch
1365
02:45:06,310 --> 02:45:07,020
[*tazer*]
1366
02:45:08,250 --> 02:45:09,040
[*electricity*]
1367
02:45:17,550 --> 02:45:18,420
George
1368
02:45:23,900 --> 02:45:26,400
It was the sexiest thing
I've ever seen
1369
02:45:27,200 --> 02:45:28,440
and scariest too
1370
02:45:29,110 --> 02:45:30,000
You okay?
1371
02:45:30,000 --> 02:45:31,360
- Yeah. You okay?
- Yeah
1372
02:45:35,350 --> 02:45:36,330
I can't wait
1373
02:45:36,330 --> 02:45:37,280
Yeah, me too
1374
02:45:37,280 --> 02:45:38,890
- I've time now.
- Me too.
1375
02:45:45,750 --> 02:45:46,580
Oh...
1376
02:45:47,770 --> 02:45:49,100
[*alarm*]
1377
02:45:52,000 --> 02:45:53,000
Oh no...
1378
02:45:55,900 --> 02:45:56,610
FIVE
1379
02:45:56,826 --> 02:45:57,427
FOUR
1380
02:45:57,450 --> 02:45:58,192
THREE
1381
02:45:58,292 --> 02:45:59,442
TWO
1382
02:45:59,660 --> 02:46:00,527
ONE
1383
02:46:00,660 --> 02:46:01,718
ZERO
1384
02:46:01,750 --> 02:46:02,690
IGNITION
1385
02:46:06,061 --> 02:46:07,458
- Oh!
- You idiot!
1386
02:46:07,484 --> 02:46:08,619
Oh now I'm an idiot
1387
02:46:08,659 --> 02:46:09,877
Miss I gotta have you now
1388
02:46:09,930 --> 02:46:12,480
Wait, I thought you just disarmed
that thing
1389
02:46:12,480 --> 02:46:14,020
I did. I took the plutonium out
1390
02:46:14,101 --> 02:46:16,081
It will still launch, it just won't
detonate on impact
1391
02:46:16,861 --> 02:46:19,431
Well it's big enough to do some
serious fucking damage
1392
02:46:19,517 --> 02:46:21,330
and it's aimed right
to the White House
1393
02:46:21,330 --> 02:46:22,400
God damn it
1394
02:46:33,693 --> 02:46:35,200
Oh God
1395
02:46:36,167 --> 02:46:37,020
I know
1396
02:46:38,550 --> 02:46:41,220
You can't call it back now,
it's too late
1397
02:46:41,600 --> 02:46:43,600
No but I can change the coordinates
1398
02:46:48,050 --> 02:46:49,490
[*drifting skid sound*]
1399
02:47:02,500 --> 02:47:05,220
Please tell me that's gonna land
in the middle of the ocean
1400
02:47:06,200 --> 02:47:06,942
Nope.
1401
02:47:07,826 --> 02:47:08,584
Better
1402
02:47:19,600 --> 02:47:20,600
What's going on?
1403
02:47:22,050 --> 02:47:23,140
[*explosion*]
1404
02:47:24,500 --> 02:47:25,660
***
1405
02:47:25,850 --> 02:47:26,500
This way
1406
02:47:30,700 --> 02:47:34,191
I said "more head", not "warhead"
1407
02:47:35,100 --> 02:47:38,200
Oh boy... Come on Jihad
1408
02:47:38,650 --> 02:47:39,270
Come on!
1409
02:47:41,400 --> 02:47:42,290
Freeze
1410
02:47:43,440 --> 02:47:45,140
Where am I gonna go?
1411
02:47:45,700 --> 02:47:46,360
Cuff him.
1412
02:47:46,360 --> 02:47:47,660
But he isn't going anyway, sir
1413
02:47:47,850 --> 02:47:49,100
Thank you Watson
1414
02:47:49,200 --> 02:47:50,900
End of the road for you Hussein
1415
02:47:54,300 --> 02:47:56,100
That's alright I got it in here, boys
1416
02:47:56,150 --> 02:47:57,770
Time to be left professionals
1417
02:47:58,200 --> 02:47:59,420
This guy is mine
1418
02:47:59,420 --> 02:48:00,970
This guy belongs to a mutt?
1419
02:48:01,200 --> 02:48:02,510
The bounty hunter
1420
02:48:02,900 --> 02:48:04,080
Who the hell are you?
1421
02:48:04,120 --> 02:48:06,800
I told you:
I'm Mutt, the bounty hunter
1422
02:48:07,800 --> 02:48:08,610
Hell no
1423
02:48:10,400 --> 02:48:11,160
[*gunshots*]
1424
02:48:16,560 --> 02:48:17,120
Oh
1425
02:48:33,716 --> 02:48:35,552
[*Tango music*]
1426
02:48:36,452 --> 02:48:37,452
[*applause*]
1427
02:48:38,161 --> 02:48:39,511
Beautifully done darling.
1428
02:48:40,000 --> 02:48:40,569
What's wrong?
1429
02:48:40,741 --> 02:48:41,800
You step on my foot
1430
02:48:41,800 --> 02:48:42,380
- Oh
- Ouch
1431
02:48:44,000 --> 02:48:46,400
Congratulations on becoming
an agent, Rachel
1432
02:48:47,000 --> 02:48:48,430
I always knew you had it in you
1433
02:48:48,800 --> 02:48:51,350
Sir, we thought you were dead
1434
02:48:52,100 --> 02:48:52,920
Oh, non sense
1435
02:48:53,130 --> 02:48:55,240
Oh, it was very scary. Really
1436
02:48:55,700 --> 02:48:57,000
Then, without warning,
1437
02:48:57,000 --> 02:48:59,590
a coconut hits him
in the head out of nowhere
1438
02:49:01,000 --> 02:49:03,380
He was unconscious for four days,
1439
02:49:03,380 --> 02:49:04,750
and when he came to,
1440
02:49:04,750 --> 02:49:06,800
he couldn't remember a thing
1441
02:49:07,150 --> 02:49:07,870
Aww...
1442
02:49:09,550 --> 02:49:11,590
I was so worried for him
1443
02:49:12,050 --> 02:49:14,090
A coconut, sir?
1444
02:49:18,100 --> 02:49:19,630
- Cheers
- Cheers
1445
02:49:20,300 --> 02:49:22,760
Oh and congratulations, agent Z
1446
02:49:22,760 --> 02:49:23,500
Thank you
1447
02:49:23,600 --> 02:49:24,680
Agent A...
1448
02:49:28,200 --> 02:49:30,130
Hey, no hard feelings
1449
02:49:31,900 --> 02:49:32,620
Okay
1450
02:49:32,850 --> 02:49:34,410
Let's get this party started!
1451
02:49:34,500 --> 02:49:35,670
[*yeah*]
1452
02:49:36,550 --> 02:49:37,290
Cheers!
1453
02:49:41,800 --> 02:49:42,950
You ready get out of here?
1454
02:49:42,950 --> 02:49:44,240
I thought you never asked
1455
02:49:52,000 --> 02:49:53,250
[*door closes*]
1456
02:49:59,400 --> 02:50:00,340
God!
1457
02:50:00,710 --> 02:50:01,980
Sweetie!
1458
02:50:01,980 --> 02:50:03,100
Not again!
1459
02:50:03,100 --> 02:50:06,139
[*Salsa music*]
1460
02:58:39,600 --> 02:58:40,430
Baby...
1461
02:58:40,430 --> 02:58:42,060
I love you
1462
02:58:42,300 --> 02:58:43,420
I love you
1463
02:58:43,420 --> 02:58:45,460
[*phone's ringing*]
1464
02:59:00,000 --> 02:59:40,000
=======================
Author: truc1979, Reviewer: DNR
Fix or feedback: please let me know
truc1979@laposte.net
=======================
91297
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