All language subtitles for KisBefore It BUp

Thank you very much

What's wrong with this alarm?

Dizengoff, Dizengoff
You owe me a million lira

You are a witch
How is that possible?

I'm preparing your consolation prize
Not hungry

But I still scramble for
another cigarette

I have to go to my waxing
appointment

You just got in 3 hours ago

I can do the waxing
I always wanted that

My grandmother
waxing my bikini line

Before I can transfer the salaries
we have to do the bookkeeping

Could you do it alone this month?

Save yourself the trouble

I didn't want to ship you to a
retirement home, until now

Is it because of this new friend?

She's more
than just a friend, grandma

Maria is...

You have to get to know her
No

I know enough girlfriends

I can definitely leave that out
Your Maria

Because of her name
or because she's uncircumcised?

It's a waste of time
All Marias are a waste of time

And to move in with someone

That you know for 2 minutes
is bad style

You don't do that
It's been 3 months

Better wait before you
clear out the boxes, Casanova

You are so romantic

Romance is for women

In their prime
which have tight connective tissue

Until now

Good day, ladies
Oh, Ibrahim

Perfect timing
Your playmate is here

Sit down on the square
But beware

She's snappy today
Ah?

What are you doing here?
I warned you

You said there was a crack
in the wall

You're a doctor, why do you let yourself
be used for construction work?

I use her

Our houses
should be in top condition

when we get them back

I thought Palestinians weren't
kidding about the Nakba

Who says
I'm kidding, eh?

Well then
you go wax your thing now.

And don't call it a thing

She shines more
when she is in love

Now enough with the lard
Maybe you want cookies

Keep the seedling alive
until I come back from Germany

The day will come when your children
will contact the German authorities

to inform them about the dangerously
intrusive Arab

who comes to visit far too often

I'm going now...
fix your thing

Shlomi!
Are you serious?

Oh, Shlomi, yes, sorry
I just have to find a parking space

No, I have to be in
the Old Quarter in half an hour

She really thinks I have
time for this shit

If she had been here earlier
we wouldn't have a problem

Be careful, the washing machine
has moved 5 times

This is her last incarnation

Is that for me?
Mm

God, did I miss you, Mucki

Thank you

Thank you

I cannot believe it. We do it
Yes

No, no ticket, please!
Shira?

Net?
I

Jo
I cannot believe it

It's been years

What are you doing?
Are you moving in or out?

In. Maria, my friend
Hi, nice to meet you

This is Neta
I'm happy, Hi

Have you been to my Bar yet?
Come over

Well, do ex-girlfriends get
a discount?

Do you want
to bankrupt me ?

And ex-girlfriends who were
with you in India for 3 months?

We have to go back
We're bringing everything in right now

It was nice to see you again
Yes

And

Ah, yes ...
See you then.

Park your car!
Clear

Inday?
And

The best landscapes
the worst digestion, don't ask

Maybe I should ask

Do you have to be so nice to them?

And do you have to be so cute?

Now I understand
why animals mark their territory

Does that mean you want...

I don't know
if that's my thing

No

I have a better idea

OK
And it's very romantic

Worth

I have it

But

A ring?

Crap

It's okay, Mucki

I didn't think of it like
a 90's romcom

That's not what I meant
I know

Shit is not that

what I had envisioned
for this moment.

We can tell the children
a great story for that

Children?

I, uh...
What?

Nothing at all.

Give me your hand.
Oh my God.

Congratulations!

Mazeltov

Jalla, grab that part.

Disgusting. Disgusting.

You are an abomination, ugh!

Warte

Is it okay?

Wedding

Whoever invented lesbian bed death
knows nothing about you

What's this?

I love
that I can be your first.

Can I borrow
your cell phone for a minute?

I have to tell my mother that
I have found my dream woman.

You really never run out of
pick-up lines.

And I fall for it
every time, Mucki

Mmm, no, that would be
what I call you.

You have to come up with a nickname
before the wedding.

I can do that.

Um...

How about...

You will look so beautiful
in a white dress

I didn't even know you had such
heterosexual fantasies.

Who are you calling straight straight here?

You were the
one who kneeled down

so that I felt
like Julia Roberts.

Let's go have breakfast.
Mm

Okay but first...

No, woman
do you want to kill me?

I need water, food.

Do you want to bite

What's up bro

Really now?

Where is she?

Man, dude, you stink.

That's bleach
This is vagina

And how do you want to know?

Ah

It's a strange pet.

Somehow suits you, Liam.

How do you get to the lint monster?
The rabbit is for you.

A token of my appreciation.

I do not know what you want.
But the answer is no.

Why do you say no
without knowing what he wants?

I will show you.

What do you want?
God thank God you are here, Maria

She's a lot nicer
when you're around.

Spit it out, hairball.

I have to shoot a documentary
for my final project

We're supposed to be an Arab, Orthodox

or choose something else photogenic

And nothing can beat my
Israeli-German lesbians.

Hm?

That's why you first say no
and then you ask.

The basics of survival.

You'll get the hang of it
Don't say no.

It's just a short film.

And?
Okay, Okay

But we decide
when to snoop around.

Fine

Take nice pictures
of the Jewish Princess

She wanted a Jewish Princess
and found me.

Miss Stasi
I come from Stuttgart, stupid.

Southwest Germany?
Google that

East West...

All the same for me
You were all Nazis

Not all
They were all Nazis

I have to go back.

Mama sent me out to buy things

Until this evening
Mm

Hey

Take that with you.

Sis, nobody says that all lesbians
always have to have cats.

Good evening.

Good evening
Shalom Shabbat

It is called Shabbat Shalom

I remembered the Important things
OK

Your mother feeds me
whether I want to or not

Your father
must have the last word.

Only you can put that away from him
your favorite discipline

I shouldn't
try this without supervision.

If Ella wants to show me her rifle
I can say no

And when Liam shakes my hand

I don't shake them
because he never washes them.

Ha. That's it, isn't it?

I don't want
you to regret the proposal

So I say yes

Um...

Speaking of engagement...

I, um...

Maybe it would be better if we...

Don't tell our families?

How did you know...

I know my parents.
And yours too.

Let's say I had a clue.

And because we are a heavenly couple
From lesbian heaven

I am just imagining what
the lesbian heaven looks like.

But I want to tell my grandma.

I understand. She will
definitely be happy for you.

That's asking too much.

Grandma doesn't even recognize joy
when it falls on her as a Torah scroll

Don't talk like that
about a Holocaust survivor

She is not a survivor

She is my grandma

Can you translate this?

Snupsi
Snupsi?

Should that be my new nickname
or do you Germans sneeze like that?

My girls.

Come here.

Hi, Mom.

Wow, Wow, Wow, Oh my God
Is that the salad?

I long for this salad

since I was on a student exchange
in southern Germany.

And here are the rest of
the provisions

And

Only one Jew freaks out
about pork

Thank you very much
You're welcome

I hide it in the
back of the fridge

Here you are at last
Hey

I hardly believe
you crazy lovebirds

You need to see the new apartment
I was already there

I helped Shira.

If complaining is help.
The fifth column!

Go to Europe
if it doesn't suit you!

He always yells at the TV
Why?

This is an Israeliding

We don't demonstrate
we shout at the television

Whoa

Can we start kiddush?

Have you lost weight
since you were here?

Hm no. I do not think so.

Liam!

The girls are here, we want
to start kiddush

I don't like using
the sink to wash your hands

Let's get started.
What is she saying?

She is happy that
the whole family is in the kitchen

I am also happy to be here

Give yourself Hebrew lessons

Liam, help with the table.

Hands off the pie.

Mom, I just wanted...

My goodness
what's wrong with you guys today?

This is private.
I dont understand.

Mom, do you notice anything
about Shira's hand?

Do you have
the allergy to create again?

Check it out

I'll explain this to you later

I hope you're hungry
Delicious

You were with them
Is there anything I should know?

You tell me
What can I tell you?

I know she's a lesbian

But would your straight daughter
show up here with her boyfriend

With a new ring on her fat finger

With Maria?

A wedding?

I don't think so, a wedding

Oh my God

Please don't scream.
Did you notice the hand?

The allergy?
The other

Stop the screeching.

You noticed the ring.
Yes

How many carats?

Let's see.
No, it's not a diamond.

It is...

It was spontaneous.

I can plan?
So...

Mom, we're planning a wedding.
We are planning a wedding.

Full of madness! Yes!

I can't
believe it, I'm happy like a...

I am as happy as a honeybee cake

Is there cake?
Like a honey cake horse

You will pay
for stealing my moment from me

Thank me for taking him in

Hello grandma

We want to start eating.

Sure, I'll tell her.

See you later, grandma, bye

Uh, Grandma summons you
and the current one.

That’s what you mean.

Are you recording the muezzin?

I like that one best
beautiful voice

I remind you of his voice

when you complain at 5
in the morning.

I never complain
Oh, right, never

And I'm not fat
just beautiful

Quiet, I have prepared a couple
of questions

When did you find out about Shira's
sexual orientation?

Sexual orientation, wow.

Sounds medical.

Okay she's a lesbian.
Sounds like a disease.

I'm running out of synonyms

Not so long ago homosexuality
was considered a disease

Do you consider it one?
Of course not

Why is your voice coming
out of my mouth?

He acts like we have a problem
with Shira

This is fake news
He's not that clever

That's true. I'm not.

To my question
do you think it's a disease?

I love my daughter the way
God created her

When was you coming out?
With 13

Your mother thinks
Adi made her a lesbian.

It was like this.
Isn't that genetic?

If so, she has it
from the maternal side.

Do you think it's rash
to get married after just 3 months?

I am happy that we have
a new one for the last time on Shabbat

It feels like she's a bitch.

We got married after 6 months

Because I put
a roast in for you.

A pregnant bride
shines particularly beautifully

Stop it, this is gross.

Maria will
enrich our family.

That is the triple hit.
The Holy Trinity.

Lesbian, nichtjأ¼disch, deutsch

But why are you so sure
that she will like me?

Shiri.
No, boring.

Shicks
Shika?

You torment yourself with
Shabbat Shalom but Shiksa works?

Where did you get that?
Nobody says that

Is that a bad word?
Shiksa is a non-Jewish woman

And in some circles
yes, that's a bad thing

Does your family
belong to these circles?

No, No, No, Oh God, No

My father
just sounds like a fascist.

But if you look closely
and close your ears

then he looks more
like a care bear

Why shouldn't I tell anyone

Tell something about your
grandmother's Arab lover?

Because the Care Bear
shoots rainbows

When he hears the word Arab

And because my grandma thinks
no one knows.

Not even me. Ha.

Your family is complicated.

Shirale.

That's what my grandma calls me
when she wants to be mean

Shushi

Do you want to listen to music?
Yes, Shushi

Oh look

So that's how my grandmother spends
her reparations money

This is whiskey, not coffee
Shira

What are you doing here?

If you wanted her differently

you should have given her
on the butt

She has a father too, you know?

Don't come to me
with your settler now

They finally allow me to
get to know you.

It is a great pleasure for me.

Know that I don't care that
she is a lesbian

As long as you don't look like a
truck driver, I have no problem

Maria, will you help me in the kitchen?
Mm

The new one is doing her doctorate
in something with plants.

Your mother says she is German
Fine

What does not fit?

You change girlfriends as often
as I move my dentures.

Why do I have to get to know them?
What's so special?

Hey, grandma
What?

You love me, don't you?

Well, you are
the one I tolerate the most.

Grandma, you will love her
I liked the last one

Maya, or what was her name?

What does she need
so many freezers for?

These are their safes.

Storage rooms for
your...emotions

Have you interviewed Maria yet?

Uh, not yet.
Why not?

It's not nice. Should you.

And then ask about her family
We don't know anything

My parents?
I hope we get to know you.

And your, um.. grandparents
if they 're still alive

No, unfortunately not
Ah

So, um...

What do you know
about your family?

Your history?

It's not as interesting as yours

Mine has lived
in the same place for generations

Ah. Real Germans, eh?

Were they all Jew-Eaters?
Liam!

Was?

Um..I think he wanted to ask

What your grandparents did

In the war

Um...

No offense
There's a bowl of cookies.

Can you bring that out with you?

Not the cookies.
They are for guests.

Are we not guests?
No

Everything okay?
I need something sweet

What you need is a diet.

What I'm saying
these cookies are no good.

It's okay
I'm not hungry anyway.

Your roses are beautiful.

I let them wither.
You need too much water.

Is that an apple tree?
Yes

She takes care of her..you know

Do you have someone?
I?

Not since Golda Meir took control
of the sinking ship

That was a joke, mom.

Because she tends to have an exotic
taste when it comes to men.

Come out of my flower bed.
I'm sorry, Grandma.

And what are you doing
with the camera?

I told you that
I'm doing a documentary

Oh yes?

About me?
No, about her

These two are
hardly of any interest

Oh but. My teacher says
this is the best project.

We have the lesbians.

The Shoah

And now we have a wedding.
Liam!

Why this look?

You should be happy for me.
Why?

Because you're marrying the first darling
who gets into bed with you?

Shickse?

You owe
your life to a shiksa

Did she have a stroke?
God forbid.

My grandmother is happy.

Unfortunately, she lacks the
right facial expression from birth

Why do you want to buy the first
pair of boots you try?

Oma

Actually it was..it..it was

Oh, come on.
You don't owe her an answer

Where does the toilet go?

Mom, we're not repeating
my wedding fiasco.

At least we have a normal wedding

We didn't even talk about it

You're getting married.
Of sure.

In June.
Am I invited?

Sorry, I was serious.
You don't marry

It is out of the question
Especially not Eva's and Adolf's brood

Don't put that look on
Hitlers brood?

Since when have you been abusing
the Holocaust as a trump card?

Since shepherds are
no longer enough for you

and therefore you
marry the German.

Mucki, the witch has
lost the broom. We go.

I say goodbye
We go

Put the cookies back
in their place when you leave.

What do you care
how many women I've been with?

And why do you talk
to your grandma about that?

She's my grandma, we're talking.
About everything?

As if it were so weird.

It is normal to
initiate families.

Not in intimate details about me

I don't know I would
have told any

It surprised me too.
OK

Okay, sure.

Don't you want to wash them?

It's full of pesticides.

Not to mention the dirty
hands that touched it.

That strengthens the Immune system
Mm

Okay

A decisive woman

I like it.
Can I ask you something?

Is that something German?
What?

Please allow me to ask
a question.

That is probably rather polite

Seems like
a waste of time to me

Did mom squeeze you
about your family?

And

Does that turn into an Interrogation?

Mucki, you have parsley
between your teeth.

I told you. They were farmers
We don't know anymore

Why do you ask again?

Did your grandma say something?
And your mother's parents?

Died before I was born
and never talked about it

Ok, We almost never talk about anything
else where I come from

If we don't
use it as an excuse for something

That we shouldn't do, we eat

That is also
related to the Holocaust.

They didn't talk about it
now they're dead.

Damage

Would it change anything?

Woa, okay again
for normal people

Hey, you'd better avoid normal here

I really want to understand that now

Assuming my grandfather was a farmer
then I would be a good German

But when my grandmother ate
Jews breakfast it makes me feel sick

And I have to pack?
No, it doesn't change anything.

But it doesn't go against the urge
to want to know.

Like I said.

They were farmers

Okay

Shit, huh?

Wonderful
that's what I call an application.

Ordinary, if you ask me.
We don't.

Girls, be nice to each other

How is the wedding going?
Is there a plan? A budget?

Um...

I wanted a beach wedding.

Modest. 300 guests at most.

And then who should pay for it?

The guests. You just
have to advance the deposit.

Did you talk to your parents?
Are you contributing?

Is a lesbian wedding legal in Israel?

No, but we're faking that.

But why? I mean...

Who needs a big wedding?

All of us
Seriously?

Yes, a huge wedding in your late 20's

And in their 30s kids.
Is that also true for lesbians?

The Jewish compulsion
to multiply

Doesn't stop at us homos.

Did you know
about her rather...

Progressive attitude towards
weddings?

We haven't talked about it yet

I give them 2 months

And don't work double shifts
for you and the tourist.

It is so
when the business partner

Is also the best friend.

I'll give them
until just before the wedding

Let's go

Shushi?

Already

How are you? I heard
you moved in next door

Blatant coincidence. Come by for a drink
Get a discount

And how are you?
Where do you hide?

This is Maria, my fiancأ©e.
Well, I was very busy.

You are the reason why Shushi
doesn't come to the surf club.

And because
my surfboard is being repaired.

I have to go back.

I need a shower
I smell like a grill

See you

Surfboard?

Totally forgot to pick it up.
Do you need water

And you? Is she an ex?

So cute, those hiccups.

We should wait a few minutes

I really want to know
what's causing the alarm.

Maybe an ex-girlfriend is hiding
in the storage room

Now I have
a good nickname for you.

Can I sleep with you tonight

My bed is broken

Sex doesn't solve every problem

Do you want me to
convince you otherwise?

Do I see indignation
in your pretty face?

Stop doing that

Shushi

Is everything okay, Mucki?
No

And are you going to enlighten me?

I don't want to destroy
what we have

Why does it sound like
you're confessing

you are married to Klaus-Jأ¼rgen
who is at the grill?

I'm serious
With Klaus-Jأ¼rgen?

Enough!
You talk

I cannot
How so?

Because the truth of the matter with
the application was by accident

So, now it's out

I just wanted...
It sounds so stupid.

Mark my territory and spray you
with perfume

that I wanted to give you
so I rummaged

The ring fell out
and you thought...

But...
I'm sorry

I am so sorry

You didn't want to propose.
No

I didn't want to make a proposal

It didn't even cross my mind.

I love you more than I
ever thought possible

But you don't want to marry me.

It was just a misunderstanding
Why didn't you say it right away?

You were so happy.
Yes

And I was so happy.

I was really happy.

It's me

Everything goes so fast
we don't really know each other

And may not match at all

Actually, we shouldn't be a
good match. But we do.

Somehow

Isn't that...
Do you think that's...

Could you shut up?
Shut up?

Almost as romantic as shit

Do you see?

It shouldn't actually fit.

But somehow he does.

I don't need 300 guests
on the beach

I just need you

Will you marry me?

I need to hear the words from
your mouth this time

Yes I want to marry you

And I need a notarized
copy of this declaration

Who is this?

Why do you never answer?

Apple

No, not a B. P

Can I have a cookie please?

Only if you can
spell apple correctly.

And if not?

Then there's something decent
from the freezer

Oh yes, Oh Yes

I killed Ibrahim's apple tree.

There is nothing left to save.

Why do I have to study
with you here?

Because your great-uncle
just asked me to help you

He said you lost to poker

Hm?
And now you owe him something

Because he's the poker champion

Ach ja?
Mm

What else does he say
your great-uncle?

That you are alright

At least for a Jew

Oh
And that you don't smile often.

But if it is, that's it...
It's fine, Muna

Take it

Um...

Is that your
happy hysterical laugh

Or are you showing me
that i'm ruining my life?

You know your mother
She's not the type to cry

Now show me the ring.

Here

Do you see him?
Oh

A family heirloom. I don't even
take it off to shower

We have to visit you immediately
We?

No
Yes

We have to see how our
daughter lives

Getting to know Shira's parents
planning a wedding

Wait a minute, may I ask
why you want to get married?

I mean, it's really quick.

Is it about gay marriage or do you want
to exercise your rights in protest?

I guess
because she's in love

We love each other
we didn't get married either

Not yet
Oh, Hans

Should i leave you alone

Is it only I who care about your mental
and physical integrity?

I don't go to the military, mom
I fell in love

Let them do their thing

Gut

You know what?

Is it important to you, we come
What?

We come
I did not say that

That was dad's idea.
Yes

Yes, we are coming.

We look forward to Shira's parents

But one thing is clear
I am not crossing the Green Line

You called for me to help
So I help

Help Adi, I can
take care of the cash register

You know I haven't trusted you
since you beheaded my Barbies

Until after the wedding, I'll pretend
I really love you

This is going to be a great party

Maybe in Germany we just
sign the papers

But not so

We're celebrating a wedding.

Every woman wants to be a bride
Not every

Do I hear Maria?
No

What is it then? Something left-wing
radical or something feminist?

Right, I'm still waiting
for the blood test

Could be contagious
Seriously, man

Why are you so anti no matter what?
You sound like grandma

Shut up, don't call me a man
and don't compare me to grandma

Even grandma doesn't sound
like grandma anymore

Do you know what I love about Israel?

You can find everything here
Warm and cold

Wet and dry
Beautiful and ugly

Isn't it amazing, isn't it?

-Are you a scientist?
-Yes.

Why don't we sit
in a cool laboratory?

And what is your doctorate about?

I am writing about climate change

That's why I collect
data from seeds, you know?

This Bibernelle
or Sarcopoterium spinosum

Grows over the entire
climatic course

Can we go?
I'm sweating my ass

Thank you for letting
me take part

Sure, over and over again

Wait, what's the point?
This is dangerous

I know him
Yes and?

Are you crazy?
The fence has a reason

That's right, he protects
the experiment

But...
You wanted something for the movie

Then talk to him
He is as old as you

Hello

And don't forget to take
the sheep with you

If you're not helping me
you can teach me Hebrew

What should I be able to say?

And what does that mean?
I am not Jewish

Amen

I said
you shouldn't film while you eat

Throwing at him is your solution?

Original, right?
Not in the occupied territories

Free
Yes

Mary
And?

How many schnitzel do you want?
One please

I want the thin one

That happens to the left
in Tel Aviv

You forget
how to defend schnitzel

Why do you pay horrific rental prices
for apartments in areas

Which radiate the grace of Dresden
to the Allies?

They deserved it, you didn't
Yes

We should move to the neighboring
hill with a caravan

Or in the desert
I know what spoiled you

Your Arab-loving eco-mother
Yes, that's right

She used the gay chip

The Altalena sunk
the First Intifada begun

And signed the Oslo Agreement

Carrots?

Your sapling is alive
it's not dead yet

Give me a few more days

But please
keep the child off my neck

My own are perfectly adequate

The next time I lose
I'll pay my debts in cash

I have a better idea

Good, because I don’t want
to pay you anything to kill you

If I win, you'll agree to go
on a date with me

And not in here

We go out

Your silence means yes

Excuse me

My hamstring has been bothering me
since I started Zumba

Not a good time

It never is
Now is as good as usual

Or as bad as usual

This is not about politics

An Arab in the first act
explodes in the last

You could make more useful use
of your creative effusions

He was nice
when we got married

His views changed when
Grandma did not cross the Green Line

That was the icing on the cake

And a house was
cheaper on this beautiful hill.

What I can bequeath to my children

I would like some cash.
You are such a condescending ass

We are stupid to you because we
defend ourselves against terror

I am not saying that

We are denied the right to defend
ourselves because of your kind

You are harming us.
My kind?

Citizens who have the right

On their opinion
even if you don't like it?

Can we get through a Shabbat
without arguing about politics?

I do not think so
That was rhetorical, idiot

No, honey, we're not arguing
No No

We don't argue
This is just Friday prelude

Foreplay...

Can we finally
talk about the wedding?

Yeah, let's talk about the wedding

We will not live according to the
rules of social constructivism

Of course not

You adopt a blonde baby who
you won't have circumcised

Then you move to Germany
like all the other parasites

Because you'd rather live where your
baby doesn't have to go into the army like us

Then I'll join the armed forces
Listen to me

I've paid good money
at many weddings

So that one day

when it's my children's
turn to get married

It is me who collects the money

So now it's my turn!

Now, please give me
your plate, Maria

Don't let your mother think

You won't get enough to eat
when she sees you tomorrow

A couple of potatoes still fit in

We are too old for games like this
You're right

Bridge would be
more appropriate for our age

Okay, I'll let you win this time

The conversation, Berta...
Your turn

We will run it
Your name is still Ibrahim

And we're still in the Middle East
so we're not running it

Cut a slice from your granddaughter
She seems satisfied

At my age
a Filipino caregiver is taken

No Arab lover
Just

We are old. That's why interest
is no one that we do

I mean, everyone who used to
stand in our way

Are dead, gone

I'm also a doctor

Hm?

Are you playing your hand now

Does your mother not want a wedding?

She means

The State should stay
out of matters of the heart

That's why my parents are not
getting married

Take it like a man
Mm

It occurs to me

I found a Rabbi who would
trust you

I beg your pardon?

What did I say

That you will eat pork
on Yom Kippur

Never learn from Liam

I wanted to say I am not Jewish

Hm, you can convert anytime

Can it be any more arrogant?

I just think it's funny

That papa thinks
Maria would ever convert

How so?

I don't mean you have to

But if you have children...

What does giving birth have
to do with the matter?

Well, if she's not Jewish

Can't she give
birth to my grandchildren

You should be your religion

Keep away from our
reproductive organs, okay?

We go home
I can do the Friday prelude

Can I get another
schnitzel, please?

Liam, are you totally stupid?

It is very helpful
when my parents are annoying

You just asked for a schnitzel?

Wow, I'm impressed

Sorry Miss Impressed

When the Dancing Queen
marries a Jew

She has to accept that mom
is asking for a big wedding

And you, Miss Self-hating Jew

That dad wants the grandchildren
to lose their foreskin

You can open a Jewish Princess
in Germany

Follow the rules or go
into exile?

That was supposed to be a joke

We're adopting a blonde baby

And move to Germany

I am so sorry

No more Friday auditions for you
Yes

No...foreplay
Yes. Sh...

No, don't shit me
OK

My mother is right

This is not a place to live

That's right
Thank you

Are you Maria's parents?

Who wants to know that?
The Mossad

No, it was just a joke

I am Liam, Shira's brother
and Maria's biggest fan

Didn't she tell you about the movie?
Um...

You come from Stuttgart
In the southwest of Germany

Googled it

Okay, it won't take long.

I ask you the same questions
that I ask my parents

OK
Yes

Ready?

When did you find out about Maria's
sexual orientation?

What exactly do you mean?

When did she
say she was a lesbian?

It doesn't

Ups.
We know it.

She didn't come out.
Love is love

If she is happy
the partner does not matter

Even if it is a Jew?

Do you want to suggest something?
No no. I am just asking.

So it says in the notes.
Why do you ask?

I also asked my parents
Why did you do that?

Well, about Maria
What about Maria?

I don't know she's not Jewish

And German

And what did they say

Hey, I'm the one here
asking the questions

Mama?

You’re early
Yes

How nice
We only had hand luggage

Hi Papa
Here you are

Hi
I'm glad you're here

How are you Shira

Was he rude?
I? You should ask her

Let's go up.
Yes.

I am not ready yet.

Oh yes you are

I'm going to see grandma tomorrow
You can come with me, you vulture

Do you want to introduce her
to your grandma?

We would like to get to know you

But my wife
signed us up for a tour

You 2 alone? Where to?

We're going to a refugee camp.

Forget Grandma, I want to be there
when you meet Papa.

We want?
With pleasure.

Are you making plans without me?
Shouldn't I come with you?

You moved.
You have enough to do.

You don't have to take care
of us too, do you?

Thank you, that's okay.

That's great

Great, the apartment

You want to visit your
grandma tomorrow?

Mm

The Shiksa comes with you

What shoud that?
Onion suicide?

Less than a shekel a kilo
I bought 20 kilos

What a happy event
Close the door

An extended suicide
What do you even want?

I didn't say goodbye last time

Sit down

You can of course save them
for later if you want

Open the door

Mm

They say
you are a Monopoly champion

Do you want to find out?
Yes I would like to

Liam showed me an interview
with your friend

The Bedouin boy

Which Bedouin boy?
Ahmed

I'll give him water
and some of your cigarettes

And his sheep stay away
from my station

Anyway, he's trying.

You seem to have a knack for
difficult things

Oh

I'm afraid I killed it

You overwatered it

But I think I can save it

First it has to be outside
but not in the sun

I can find a place for it

She's nice
She is really nice

But you still can't marry her

But that's exactly what I intend to do
They marry

I gave her the ring
What did you do?

My mother's ring?
Yes, I wanted the most valuable...

I gave it to you. The only thing
I have left of my mother

Because I'm German?
Didn't say it

Don't pull
I'm sorry

I shouldn't have accepted it

You don't have to apologize
you have to

You're right. There is
no excuse and forgiveness

Can you please stop pushing
your Hitler on us?

Granny!
Do I have to change the locks?

Did she lose in Monopoly?
No, the mind

She gave her my mother's ring

Despite my best efforts

She has mutated into
a selfish brat

What I?
You are looking for my bloodiest wound

And then rub salt in

I thought the
one in love with an Arab

Has no problem with my German

What? I?

Never ever

I can't be with anyone

And ignore everything else
without hesitation

What is everything else?
Guess what? The reality

Ibrahim, reality

I want this ring back, tell her that
before she blows away with it

I..heard you say

I..heard you say

Yes, Adi?

Okay don't let her go, will you?

Mucki, thank God

Pull it off

Promise you won't leave me

I have to get him right now

I shouldn't have taken you with me

I am really sorry
Please believe me

Look at me

Look at me

It doesn't fit
Fuck the ring

Fuck all the rings
I'll buy you a new one

And one with no previous history

I love you
More than anything else

I promise you my grandma
and the rest of the bullshit

To keep from the neck

And you promise me
that you will stay with me

Yes Yes Yes. OK

Do you have it?

Down with the Monarch

Crap

What are you doing here?

I make sure that the salaries
are paid

And I'm the owner of the bar

But don't let me bother you
Just keep going

Warte

Here, take it
I don't want him anymore

Then I assume that you probably
don't want the money either

I've invested in your business

Wow

Okay

You get your money
Give me 30 days

I'm so happy to finally get
to know you guys

Ron, I'm happy
Hans

I am also pleased
Ron

Maria said that you were on
an exchange in Germany

Yes

Therefore I am happy that
you are German

I am as happy as a honey horse cake

Like a honey cake horse
Ah yes

Like a cake horse
Mama, the people pray here

And this is Ella

Our beautiful soldier

And you already know Liam, don't you?

Ja
Mm

I am your city guide today

Do we start on Via Dolorosa
or the Church of the Holy Sepulcher?

Are you on duty now?
No

But with a uniform I can go to
the coolest places and get discounts

I feel uncomfortable

I believe in peace

So do we

That is why we fight for it

I know what we need
What to eat

Eat, Eat

Yes, great
I like it

I have a better idea

The Lodz ghetto was opened
after the attack on Poland in 1939

Set up for the Jewish Poles

It was the 2nd largest ghetto
after the Warsaw ghetto

In German-occupied Europe

Who took the photos?

They're from different sources

Many of the pictures are
from Germans

This is where
my mother's family comes from

Aha

And your family?

Comes from a small village
in southwest Germany

Maria actually didn't tell us
anything about them

And

They died before they were born

Mm

I never got to know my
grandparents either

My mother didn't know her either

She was 4 when her parents
had to hide her and her sister

That was the last time
she saw them

What is...

Become of them?

Years after the war they
found someone

who was in the same transport

He could tell them
what happened to them

The whole family was wiped out

Nobody survived

Except for my mother and
her older sister

My mother says

Her first memory
was a dark, cold attic

And hunger

She told
how much she was starving.

No no no

Oh my God, Oh my God

Please do not cry.

Shira will kill you.

They rounded them all up

And made them
stand in the snow for hours.

So long
until the weakest collapsed.

Follow me.

A Holocaust museum, really now?

How in the world
does he get such shit?

I envy these people.
Do not you have to.

You pay for stories that
I always hear for free.

I've never been just sad before
I mean as a person

Hm? Why?

Because I always
felt that as a German.

I feel guilty as a German

As a German, I am ashamed.

How does it feel
if you weren't German?

Stay with me.

If history repeats itself
you and I are the first in the crematorium

Then you know
what it feels like to be a victim.

Mucki, wait, it was a joke.

Shira?

Maria, her fiancأ©e.

How was it?

Wow fiancأ©e. Are you quick

I beg your pardon?

We wanted to move in together
4 months ago

And already she is planning
to get married

So much for
keeping the bullshit away

Not even a day.
Mucki, that...

Mucki not me

Everywhere I turn there
are corpses.

I live in a minefield
waiting to explode.

As if that wasn't enough, there
are the ex-girlfriends.

Is there another woman in Israel that
you haven't fucked, Shushi?

Stop!

I have to destroy his camera

It was your fault Your luck that
only your left hand is broken

I am the only normal person
in this family

Mucki

Hi
Ibrahim?

I don't think so.

You both know each other?

But

When I was in Germany at the time
Grandma sent me to Ibrahim

And how do you know each other, huh?

You were a great pleasure for us

How is your beautiful wife?
She died

Oh I'm sorry.
My sincere condolences.

Are you back?
Do you live here again

The children have a life of their own
and I felt a longing for...

The sun

May I introduce my husband to you?

My youngest Liam
my other daughter Ella

Shira's fiancee, Maria.

Your parents
shortly my in-laws.

You come from Stuttgart

Mom, are you going to take him
all our genealogy?

Hi, I'm glad.
I am also pleased.

I did my training in Tأ¼bingen

My children are still there
Create, create, build houses

Is there an Arab
your mother doesn't know?

It's nice that you are fine.

Mama

These are Maria's parents.

Mummy. Mom please

Uh, get rid of them.

Grandma, stop it!
You don't yell at me.

After all the women
you dated

Are you trying now

To overcome your attachment
phobia with a German?

I don't get into that shit anymore

Hallelujah

She finally strapped it.

Mucki.

You're better off without her

I think
I'm better off without you

I'll get your discharge papers
straight away

No. No No No

I have the right to be a person
not just a German

Not for a woman
whose family has been murdered

We should apologize.
Are you crazy?

Do you know what they call me?
I am a shiksa

And you are goyim
plural for non-Jews

And these are just the synonyms of
this language for non-Jews

When it comes to Germans
things get creative

Connecting
cultures is not easy.

I am proud of the way you do it
How many words you learned

Can I have
my parents back, please ?

Since when
have you been crying all the time?

Since when does everything about you
sound like a Beatles song?

She should never have come here
But. She is here for love

Love. Where?

Everyone hates each other here

It's all controversial. Everything

Except that every German
hides a Nazi past.

You can say that there is no
Nazi buried with us

Yes
No

But

My grandfather, father and my mother
They believed in that

I didn't know anything.
They kept it a secret.

I never knew my grandfather
my father died

And my mother formed from
her father and my saint

And me too.

To...

And

My mother didn't want to talk
I burned the family album.

It was all a lie anyway.

You never asked me

And I didn't mean to tell you.

Start eating

We have half an hour
before the wife starts nagging

It is 7 in the morning

What are you doing here anyway?

Can I go in?

No

Like back then at school.

You and I in the room
your siblings in front of the door

And we're talking about girls

But then
everything was kind of easier

At that time you weren't aware
of the complexity

I'm hungry
Liam, I want to sleep!

Hm?

And?

I'll take the shift today.

I am on the way.
No need to scream.

Okay, see you.

Name?

Is it really okay
to borrow the money from your in-laws?

When it's okay to
hang a portrait of my Jewish Princess

Ready?
What's this?

You sneaky little...

Bye

Was?

So, yeah, send another one.
I can't miss the flight.

How long should it take?

Forget it. Many Thanks.

Shira's girlfriend

Compensatory justice.

Quiet service.
Are you going on vacation?

Second

I'm sorry, I don't have time.

I have to go to the airport
Oh, good luck with that

There was a huge accident here
two trucks

Don't ask
there's no getting through here

Didn't you notice
the street is empty?

I have to go to the airport urgently.
Can you help me?

In any case.

My car is near the scene
of the accident

Don't worry
you'll be on the plane on time

Thank you. I can't say
how grateful I am.

I want to show my gratitude.

It's okay.
My shift is over

I also take pleasure
in helping a pretty woman.

My father is right.
We want to pay you.

Fine

Now it feels like shit
but it gets better

I do not think so
believe me

Got it through and regretted it

No, I don't regret any of it

Do not be sad
Maybe she wasn't the right one

She is definitely the one.

Crap

I cannot go

Thank you.

What?
Oh, Petra, please.

So you stay here

Hans
Come on now

Berta?

Take it.

Put it on her German finger

Before you miss
anything wonderful.

Oma

Don't miss out on something
wonderful either

This biblical beauty cannot be
found anywhere else in the world

It's just magical.
Spare me.

I really can't cross the Green Line

Take a look.

Hans, stop. Stop, Hans!
I cannot!

I'm sorry
but I can't

Did you see?
They have separate border crossings

Enough! My leg is broken
so take me to Shira.

After that you make your own
decisions and I mean.

Even if they don't suit you.

Exactly

For love

Honey, but...

I am so sorry
No, I'm sorry

I'm sorry, Mucki, I...

I love you, Mucki.
I love you so much.

We both. You and me
that's all that matters

You do not understand.
My mother's parents were Nazis

You Germans know how to
destroy a romantic moment.

We did well with her.

We can get married now.

Couples who shouldn't fit
but somehow still do

Dear Grandma

Love is chaos.

A wonderful mess.

Something worth
celebrating.

I'm so happy for both of you.

And has this clarified who
will get the house?

Mama

I am so happy for you.

And about
the wonderful wedding.

Cheers
Cheers

Dear Berta, Dear Ibrahim
Congratulations

You are proof
that a two-state solution

To love
To love

Now would be the time
to get off your high horse.

You wallow in showing me
the reunion.

But does it just bother me that no
security company was hired?

A wedding is really fun
when it's not your own.

My grandma insisted.

Oh, honey.

Sweetheart?

That rhymes with Nazi

Has potential or not?

Bomb!

You are all racists!

How should I know?

It sounded like an explosion.
Cap, you racist.

Do not do it.
I believe in peace.