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- Dody, aren't you darlings!

Come in, come in!

Wow, you kids look great!

Let me take a look at you.

Your ass! Sit down, make yourselves at home.

The bar is now open.

Kitten, how you been?

Just as delicious as ever.

Oh lets make ourselves more comfortable.

Average life must be a dream with you.

You both look wonderful.

Not like it used to be, huh kids?

No more hard knocks from the suckers.

Are you kidding? What a drag.

I thought I would never be able to get outta town, away from that creep.

Why Dody, how can you say such a thing about your own husband?

Say, has he been mistreating you?

Mistreated? He couldn't mistreat a rattlesnake. I don't know how she's-

-tolerated this long.

Money baby! Money!

And you should brag with that faggy looking SOB you married.

Girls, girls, whoa whoa!

We didn't stage this little family reunion to fight now did we?

Here, let me sweep your drinks.

We'll have more champagne for everyone.

- Mm I like champagne. - Mm, my favourite!

Oh it feels so great to just be able to sit back and relax.

You know, these new jets you can be halfway around the world in a matter of minutes.

Say Toni, how did you settle on Rio? You must like the soft life.

Baby, you know Toni doesn't like anything soft.

Now, let's start from scratch.

I've been dying to hear about the two jerks you all got saddled with.

Ever since we decided to break up the old gang, I've wanted to know.

How about you Kitten, you always were the sex-pot.

How did you make it out?

Ha, make out? This couldn't make out in a body house.

Watch it wise guy!

Where do you think your old man has been spending his nights?

With the queers?

Well, I'll have you know my husband travels a lot. He's in the erection business.

Ain't all men, the ain't the way I heard.

The way I heard it he's in the elevator business.

Up and down.

Up and down!

Knock it off you two girls, you're killing me.

I want to have a real down-to-earth, true to life story

Of just plain kitten.

As we left the story yesterday.

Kitten was leaving the old gang for good.

And marrying the man of her dreams.

Wealthy, socialite, an industrialist-

I knew immediately on our wedding night that Harry was not the man for me.

Oh, he meant well alright, with his little tender kisses.

But somehow he didn't give me the effect I wanted.

On our wedding night this is how it went.

And believe me it wasn't enough

That damned Harry!

He wound up drunk and in the bed with one of the bridesmaids.

And on my wedding night!

I finally forgave him and took him back.

But things were never really the same anymore.

She was a nymph and nearly ruined it.

Oh he really tried to please me.

But the plain fact of the matter is he just couldn't make the scene.

What's the matter, was his erection business bothering him too much darling?

Well something was bothering him because he left me more frustrated than I already was.

Go on, then what happened?

Well one morning Harry was out of town and the doorbell rang.

And at the door was this beautiful hunk of He-man selling insurance.

How much did you buy, or was it the other way around?

Or for crying out, just let her tell her story.

It's just now getting to the good part.

And you don't know how good!

We sat there making small talk.

Talking about annuities and premiums and here's how it went.

Just about the time I was going to make out, and get myself satisfied,

My friend Chris was lying around the house,

naked and on the phone, trying to locate Charlie.

So,

I stepped out to get a bottle, to give to my insurance man a little pep.

And when I returned this cat was wasting all his energy on Chris.

Charlie never showed up.

And I was left as frustrated as ever.

Take this empty glass as a token of my-

Here, let me freshen your drink. How do you like it?

One part strychnine and two parts rat poison?

On the rocks baby, on the rocks.

Ok Dody, you're on next.

Speak now, or forever hold your peace!

Peace? Peace?

What peace? What's happening?

Oh brother.

Once a nymph, always a nymph!

Jealous?

Jealous?

Well, as both you broads know, I married Lester P. Chester

C.P.A.

Book-keeper, book-worm, and booky as far as I'm concerned.

It seems as though my figure and his figures just didn't add up,

to two and two.

Oh brother! Say Toni, Rio is your town,

Oh you are going to fix us up tonight, aren't you?

Why don't you get out your little black book

and get on the phone and just send us a real live-

Take it easy girls, take it easy lets have some fun first.

Incidentally,

I've rented adjoining apartments for each of you.

Kitchens and a whole bed.

It'll be just like living at home.

Now lets turn up the music and really have some fun.

Wow, this like old times, eh girls?

Alright now, let's get down to business.

The meeting is now called to order.

Places everyone.

Hand me my smoke will you.

Thank you.

The reason I called us here together.

Is because at one time,

we had the greatest gang in the world.

We all made money, and lots of it.

We played it smart and never got caught.

I have a score for us that will be the biggest and the last.

And will give us enough money

to live in the caribbean like queens, for the rest of our lives.

And without the scards you call men.

Sound like you have a real live one this time Toni

I do baby, I do.

As a matter of fact it's so big it frightens me.

But I know that our team-work has paid off in the past.

And over the last couple of years Toni's bankroll has depleted.

It's time to sweeten it up!

Are you with me?

What's the deal?

Answer the question first: are you with me?

It has to be both of you, or none at all.

Damn right, count me in.

Me too.

- The carnival starts tomorrow. - Carnival?

Mardi Gras too. The season of fun.

The town will be swarming with thousands and thousands of people.

Both tourist and native.

I get it, we knock a bank.

Wrong.

We won't even be near a bank.

Anyways they take lousy pictures that won't flatter us.

The Mardi Gras is the biggest festival this side of the equator.

A new king is crowned every year.

King Sex they call him.

And when I say crowned, I mean really crowned.

With the most solid encrustment

of perfectly cut and polished diamonds in the world

Sound like sweet music to me.

It is, to the tune of half a million dollars.

Less of course the commission due our agent,

for disposing of the ice.

But still with less risk than we have at the bank.

How do propose we get this crown?

Just walk up and say "how do you do king?

Oh buddy, how about loaning me your crown for the evening?"

No it's not gonna be quite that simple.

The crowning takes place at a masquerade ball.

For which I have just happened to wangle three invitations.

The ball is held at one of the old mansions.

Which also just happens to be inadequately wide.

So therefore a short-circuit is not unusual.

In other words,

the lights go out at twelve midnight anyway

for the unmasking of the couples and the crowning of King Sex.

All we do, is kill the lights a little bit earlier.

Snatch the crown, and hook them during the confusion.

Isn't the place guarded with cops and armed guards?

Of course it's guarded, you don't think they're gonna have

all that loot floating around. With no one watching do you?

Yeah, but how do we handle the cops?

Real easy!

Dody will be upstairs near the fancy drapes

with the drapes already doused with lighter fluid.

When the lights go out, she ignites the drapes, and screams like hell.

I will be nearest the jewels and I will also scream like hell.

Kitten will be nearest the exit.

I will pass the jewels to her.

She takes them, and splits the scene during the confusion.

All this time, the three of us are screaming our lungs out.

I don't understand the screaming bit, I mean, what does this do?

It unnerves the hell out of a man for some reason.

And as soon as the screaming starts, mens feet just naturally start to run.

I wish we could case the joint.

I'd feel better about it.

It's impossible.

However I did manage to get some souvenir postcards of the mansion.

As they have guided tours throughout these places.

Here take a look. The staircase is over here.

Notice the draperies.

This is where you will be stationed.

Kitten will be nearest,

the exit, so I can haul ass as soon as I pass her the stones.

And I will be somewhere in this general vicinity.

Okay, swell so far, but how do we get out?

You know damn well they'll hold and question all the guests,

as soon as they notice the missing crown.

It's a good question my pretty lass.

I figured a fire will be the centre of attraction during a melee.

They'll be afraid that old cracker-box,

will go up in one big, puff of smoke.

So their main concern will be to get the people out of the place and home.

Although we keep going, huh?

Maybe, maybe not.

I haven't decided yet.

That is what they would suspect a thief to do.

Do you have to use that word?

Oh don't be so damn- you know what I mean.

No, the Governor and his wife the Mayor, Congressmen, Senators.

And movie stars! Everyone will be there.

The police wouldn't dare arrest or accuse these people.

Would they?

I don't know, lets think this over a little more.

Also, where do we go for the masquerade ball,

when do we get there, when do we split, how soon?

Whoa whoa there Sapphire.

Lets answer those questions one at a time.

First of all,

the parades and marches will be in full progress.

And it's a snap to get lost in those crowds. Just another drunk.

Two: we meet back here.

Two of us, as soon as the heat's off.

I'll fence the stuff and we'll take a jet.

And bring you your share.

And that will rest in my residence, as a citizen of this town.

Sounds great to me.

Say, who hid the jug?

Well speaking of jugs, your blouse is about all.

Silly, you should have been born a comedian.

Teasing darling, only teasing.

Oh knock it off you two, I don't think you two will ever grow up.

Lets put on something sexy and do the town.

Come on, I'll show you the French Quarter.

French? French?

The French Quarter sounds great to me, let's go

Well I really wouldn't believe it.

It was unbelievable.

What do you think you're doing?

- Nothing. - What are you doing?

Social work.

Social work?

Social work.

Don't you get it?

What do you want from us?

My name is Eddy Neuman, founder of the Eddy Neuman foundation.

They save bad girls,

tonight I'm saving some for myself.

Waiter! Champagne!

You're not a sex-maniac, are you?

Yes my lady, of course I am.

- Well then, you may join us. - Thank you.

You may call me Dody, and this is our dear friend Kitten.

Rrrrr!

You mean, tiger?

And this is my friend Toni, who we are visiting.

Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

Maybe.

I've been seen before.

It's late girls, I think we better be going.

Good night Mr Neuman, thanks for a very nice evening.

Oh lets not go now, I'm having a wonderful time.

Oh lets have one more. Waiter! Waiter!

Tomorrow will be a very big day for us.

I don't think that our brains should be muddled with liquor.

So, goodnight Mr Neuman.

Eddy, take me home will you?

Oh no you don't! She goes with us.

Oh Toni! I'm a big girl now.

I'm not as drunk as you think I am.

Eddy is taking me home.

Don't worry about me.

Oh come on honey, she's a big girl now.

She kids alright.

Don't talk too much. Don't get gate-mouth.

Eddy! Eddy! Let's get a taxi and get out of here.

- Goodbye, have a nice time! - Go straight home now!

- Good bye. - Good night.

Good night!

Oh wow, my goodness, look who it is.

- How are you baby? - Just fine. Have you seen Chris lately?

- No, but I hear she's back in town. - Oh, really?

You still a cop?

You still a chibby?

Touché! Of course.

What are you doing?

I'm eating.

Is it good?

Yeah! It's delicious!

What does it taste like?

[inaudible]

Ouch!

What's the matter?

It's hot, I burnt my tongue.

Well, you'll have to be more careful.

Why don't you blow on it?

Yeah.

Maybe it should cool off a little.

Is it cool enough yet?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just right now.

Would you like some warm milk?

Hell no, I can't stand the taste of that stuff!

Well?

Would you like another piece?

Hell no!

Honey can I use your phone?

I should have called this guy hours ago.

Honey give me Federal 78706

Yeah, thank you.

Hello, chuck?

Yeah well listen, hey I'm sorry I couldn't call you but,

Something big came up.

Right!

Oh he did?

Yeah, I was afraid of that.

Yeah. Tomorrow morning, huh?

Oh boy.

Huh, he did?

A big black one?

Oh God, did he eat it that way?

Still picking the centre out, okay!

You know those charcoal broilers are alright, but they'll,

they'll play hell on a steak if you're not careful.

Yeah.

Hey pal, listen now, I've gotta go.

Yeah, I'll call you in the morning.

Yeah right.

Tomorrow morning. Yeah, good night.

Stan?

Yes darling?

Would you?

- Would you like to? - Yes! Yes!

Light me a cigarette?

Nah, honey you don't have to smoke right now.

Stan?

What baby?

Is it-

Is it four?

Or is it six?

Honey, I don't know, its-

It's, it's probably closer to six.

I wanna know. I think it's four.

Baby, I'm too tired to argue.

Oh please,

please,

let me look.

Honey, I've told you a thousand times, it's probably six.

It could be closer to seven. I got it.

See there, we're both wrong, its only a quarter to five! Now come-

Why Kitten, I didn't expect to hear from you this early.

Toni! Baby!

I can't make the job.

Well Kitten if you're afraid then I don't need you.

Sure, okay.

I'm not angry, just don't cop out on us will you?

- I wouldn't do that. - Yeah sure.

Say, Chris is in town too.

And I told her about the caper.

Should I send her over?

She's for it.

Why this'll be perfect, why didn't I think about her?

Send her over right away will you?

Well send her over, I'll be waiting.

Come in! I'm in the bedroom!

Baby, Kitten said you'd had an appointment for me.

I sure do.

Here's the key.

Two doors down. Don't use next door.

Y'know, I haven't seen her for about two hours.

I wonder how she is.

I think I'll go there and find out what the hell is going on.

I'm beat, I'm going to go over and get some sleep.

Okay, listen, I'll school you on the deal tomorrow.

- Okay? - Okay baby.

- Good night. - Good night.

I'm going to show you what a man is for!

No! Please!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Did you get what you came for?

Now get out!

Robbery Detail, Lieutenant Burns speaking.

Reverend Jones, you mean to say

that two women robbed you with ice picks?

What'd they get?

Four dollars, and a bible?

Was that a New Testament, or an Old Testament?

A New Testament, but an old book?

Can I have your address please?

29 Lovers Lane?

We'll get a man out there as soon as possible.

Stay there.

You're welcome.

Robbery Detail, Lieutenant Burns speaking.

Oh yes Chief, yes!

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

My own personal opinion is that,

Eddy was a good police officer.

I know he has his little faults.

Alright, his big faults, but Chief he is still basically a good cop.

Yes I know, I had breakfast this morning with two of the city councilmen.

They are well aware of the fact that we have a shortage of good police officers.

And that the budget is coming up soon.

But we need men now Chief, every man I've got

is working around the clock with this carnival in town.

It's just impossible for them to continue without some rest.

Yes Sir.

Yes sir, as far as I know.

I wish I could change your mind Chief, and keep Eddy until after Mardi Gras.

Very well, I'll take care of it for you.

As a matter of fact, he just walked in the door.

Yes Sir?

Good bye.

- Chief huh? - Yep.

Did I get the axe?

I'm afraid so.

I went to bat for you Eddy, but,

You've had too many reprimands, the chief says this is it.

I'll have to ask you for your badge, your I.D. and your service revolver.

You mind if I sit down?

Sure you know you can, my gosh, we can all still be friends.

You know Lieutenant.

I've been a cop in this department for five years.

I've been shot at,

spit on,

Lieutenant I've refused bribes from drunks, hustlers, bookies and junkies.

I've turned down money.

Gifts, free tickets. Free everything!

But broads! They affect me different from most guys.

Well, so long Lieutenant. I've enjoyed working with you.

So long Ed.

I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way they should have.

So am I. Excuse me.

Robbery Detail, Lieutenant Burns speaking.

Guess what's happened now.

The crown of King Sex has been stolen!

Yeah!

Detective Niedman and I are going down there right now.

You get your boys going down.

Yes Chief.

Right.

There's no one left in the office right now except me and Eddy.

I could reinstate him with your permission.

Thank you Sir, we'll get right on it.

- Raise your right hand. - What?

Do you mean it?

As long as I tell you you big lughead and

keep your pants up for a while, will you?

Do you hearby swear to uphold the laws

- of the City of Rio. - I do!

- To the best of your ability - I do!

I hearby reinstate you in the formal capacity

as a police officer for the City of Rio

Get your stuff man, let's go.

Get your stuff!

Let's go.

Ready if you are Chief.

Look I'm going go ahead see if I can get in

touch with Burns and find out what's going on here.

This is Chief Masterson, calling Lieutenant Burns Over.

This is car 69, Detective Castro reporting Sir.

Lieutenant Burns is in pursuit of the suspects.

An eyewitness reported three females made off with the crown.

One Toni Romano, Dody Marcelli, and Chris Montello.

Lieutenant Burns had them pinned down on the parade route.

Shall I join him Chief?

Alright, just a moment.

This is that gang of Chris Romello or something.

Chief, I know that gang.

I stopped by Chris' apartment just a couple of nights ago.

I bet you anything that Chris broad is over there right now.

Say five birds, tell him to wait there for me, would you?

Alright, we'll be right there.

- Over! - I'll take it-

Hello baby.

In some ways I've been expecting you.

We gotta take you in honey.

I'll take the crown.

Nah, you don't wanna take me in.

You don't wanna take me in baby.

No way out, no!