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AND FROM THEN ON, THOSE DAYS
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WERE CALLED "THE DARK AGES"
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BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY
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"KNIGHTS!"
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- [ CHILDREN GROAN ] - HA, HA, HA!
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AND DO YOU KNOW WHERE ALL THOSE
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KNIGHTS WENT TO EAT?
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TO AN "ALL-KNIGHT DINER!"
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THE KING TOLD HIM ABOUT A GREAT
10
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ONE HE SAW ON THE "KNIGHTLY"
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NEWS!
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[ LAUGHS ]
13
00:01:05,701 --> 00:01:07,101
OH!
14
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- AND DO YOU KNOW WHY THE KING - WENT TO SCHOOL?
15
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DON'T SAY IT!
16
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- BECAUSE THEY NEEDED A - "RULER!"
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[ LAUGHS ]
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ARGH!
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AND GUESS WHY KING ARTHUR HAD
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A ROUND TABLE?
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YES, WE KNOW, HOAGIE... SO HE
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WOULDN'T GET "CORNERED."
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THANK YOU VERY MUCH, BUT I THINK
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IT'S TIME TO LET SOMEONE ELSE
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READ THEIR REPORT.
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EGGBERT! HOW ABOUT YOU?
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QUICKLY, PLEASE.
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SORRY YOU GOT TO FOLLOW AN
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ACT LIKE THAT, EGGY, OLD BOY.
30
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I TRIED TO GO "OVER EASY" ON YOU
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WITH THE "YOLKS," BUT TRY TO
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KNOCK THEM DEAD ANYWAY.
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THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
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I'LL BE IN CLASS ALL WEEK.
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OW!
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WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
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FOR MAKING ME LISTEN TO THOSE
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LAME JOKES EVERY DAY.
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FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THE
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SCHOOL PAPER CALLS THIS CLASS
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THE "COMIC, BUST-A-GUT, 5-STAR
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COMEDY OF THE ENTIRE FOURTH
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GRADE."
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THAT'S A QUOTE FROM YOU!
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GOOD ONE, HUH?
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YOU THINK I SHOULD HAVE GIVEN
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HIM MORE STARS?
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ONE MORE JOKE OUT OF YOU, AND
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I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'RE SEEING
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STARS!
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WELL, AT LEAST SOME PEOPLE IN
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THIS CLASS HAVE A SENSE OF
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HUMOR.
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[ BELL RINGS ]
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REMEMBER, CLASS, AFTER LUNCH,
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WE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT THE
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DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
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HEY, NUMBUH 5, WHERE WAS THE
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DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
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SIGNED?
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OH, THAT'S EASY.
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PHILADELPHIA.
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NO, IT WAS SIGNED AT THE
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BOTTOM!
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OW!
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WHAT?
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HEY, YOU.
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WHO, ME?
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YEAH, YOU.
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- YOU THINK YOU'RE PRETTY FUNNY, - DON'T YOU, BUB?
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WELL, I DON'T LIKE TO BRAG,
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BUT I'VE BEEN CALLED THE
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FUNNIEST THING TO HAPPEN TO
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GALLAGHER ELEMENTARY SINCE
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POLLY MARCUS THREW UP ON
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MR. FRYDINGLE'S NEW SHOES.
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WELL, KNOCK IT OFF!
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OW!
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KNOCK WHAT OFF?
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THE JOKES, THE GAGS, THE
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PUNS.
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THE CLOWNARELLI FAMILY RUNS THE
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FUNNY BUSINESS IN THIS SCHOOL.
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GET ME?
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NO JOKES?
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YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
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I'M A CLOWN!
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DO I LOOK LIKE I KID?
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WELL, YEAH, SINCE YOU GOT THE
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NOSE AND THE BIG SHOES AND ALL.
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GRR!
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JUST A PUT A LID ON THE FUNNY
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STUFF OR YOU'LL BE ANSWERING TO
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TONY "THE NOSE" CLOWNARELLI.
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WELL, THAT CLOWN GOT UP ON
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THE WRONG SIDE OF THE CIRCUS.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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CLOWN... CIRCUS... BRILLIANT.
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HEY, HOAGIE.
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WHAT TIME DOES YOUR WATCH SAY?
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00:03:24,633 --> 00:03:25,643
MY WATCH DOESN'T SAY
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ANYTHING.
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00:03:26,767 --> 00:03:28,327
YOU GOT TO LOOK AT IT FIRST.
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- [ LAUGHS ] - HA HA HA.
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THANKS, LOSER.
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00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,540
- DON'T FORGET TO CREDIT ME IF - YOU USE THAT ONE ON YOUR
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FRIENDS.
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I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO CAN
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THE FUNNY STUFF.
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CRANKY FLATFOOT,
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BOZO BAGGYPANTS, TAKE THE KID
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OUTSIDE AND SHOW HIM WHAT WE DO
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TO COMEDIANS AROUND HERE.
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UGH!
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[ GASPS ] PLEASE, NO!
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NO, ANYTHING BUT RHUBARB PIE!
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I HATE RHUBARB!
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I'M... I'M SORRY.
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I'LL NEVER TELL ANOTHER JOKE
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AGAIN.
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AND THE KANGAROO SAYS, "COLE
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SLAW?
123
00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:04,527
I THOUGHT YOU SAID CHAIN SAW."
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[LAUGHS] WHOA!
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AAAAH!
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IS THIS THE BATHROOM, OR AM I
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IN FRANCE?
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OOH! AAAAH!
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00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,290
AND THAT'S WHY HIPPOS CAN'T
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MAMBO.
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[ SCREAMING ]
132
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WITH A MELON...
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OH, AAH!
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IT'S ONLY MAYONN... UGHH!
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NOT IN MY WOOD SHED, YOU DON'T.
136
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:26,833
JUICE BOX?
137
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WELL, I... WHOA!
138
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CONSTANTINOPLE?
139
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:31,000
FARTS?
140
00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:34,297
EH! UGH! WHAAA!
141
00:04:34,367 --> 00:04:36,267
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
142
00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:38,303
LUNCHTIME'S ALMOST OVER.
143
00:04:38,367 --> 00:04:39,927
[ SNIFFS ]
144
00:04:39,951 --> 00:04:41,531
I THOUGHT YOU HATED RHUBARB.
145
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I DO, BUT A COUPLE OF CLOWNS
146
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MADE ME A PIE I COULDN'T REFUSE.
147
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,137
WELL, RHUBARB'S GOT TO BE
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BETTER THAN THIS JUNK.
149
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AND WHAT'S THIS FLY DOING IN MY
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SOUP?
151
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THE BAC... OOH!
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EEE... UH... EEE... UH...
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UH, THE... THE BACTERIA LEVELS
154
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MUST BE AWFUL IN YOUR SOUP
155
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BE-BECAUSE THE FLY... OH!
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[ CRYING ]
157
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YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
158
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LET'S GO TO THE PLAYGROUND.
159
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THE BACKSTROKE!
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THE FLY WAS DOING THE
161
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BACKSTROKE!
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IT'S THE OLDEST JOKE IN THE
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BOOK!
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BE SURE TO TELL NUMBUH 1 I
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HAVE TO GO OUT WITH MY DADDY
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TONIGHT, SO I WON'T BE ABLE TO
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GO ON THE BIG MISSION.
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WHOA!
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LOOK AT THAT CHICKEN OVER THERE.
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[ CLUCKING ]
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NOW, WHY DO YOU THINK THAT
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CHICKEN IS CROSSING THE ROAD?
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[ GASPS ]
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I MEAN, WHY WOULD A CHICKEN
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BE CROSSING A BUSY ROAD?
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WELL, BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS.
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I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW WHY
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THAT CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD.
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TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!
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THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD TO
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GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!
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NO, PLEASE!
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SHE TAUNTED ME WITH THAT ONE!
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I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE
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TO BE SET UP FOR THE CHICKEN
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JOKE!
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[ TIRES SCREECH ]
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PLEASE, NO!
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I SWEAR, NO MORE JOKES.
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DRY AND HUMORLESS FROM HERE ON
191
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OUT.
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SO, THIS IS THE CLASS CLOWN
193
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YOU BEEN TELLING ME ABOUT, TONY?
194
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YES, CLOWNFATHER, HE, UH...
195
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HE DID THE CHICKEN JOKE, SIR.
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THE CHICKEN JOKE, HUH?
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I THOUGHT I SAID I DIDN'T WANT
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ANY JOKES ON MY TURF.
199
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WHAT KIND OF CLOWNS ARE YOU?
200
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AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?
201
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,130
THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT
202
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BEING A CLOWN!
203
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JUST LOOK AT ME.
204
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I COULD HAVE BEEN SOMEONE.
205
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I COULD HAVE BEEN A CONTENDER
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FOR CLOWN OF THE YEAR, BUT THEN
207
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ONE DAY, MY PARTNER CHUNKO AND I
208
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WERE DOING A KID'S PARTY.
209
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WE HAD THEM ROLLING IN THE
210
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AISLES.
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AND THEN CHUNKO SET ME UP FOR A
212
00:06:57,101 --> 00:06:59,601
PATENTED GRAND FINALE... THE
213
00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:01,597
FUNNIEST JOKE OF THEM ALL.
214
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:04,057
BUT WHEN I WENT TO DELIVER THE
215
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PUNCH LINE, I... I... I...
216
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[ CRYING ]
217
00:07:08,501 --> 00:07:10,431
WHAT HAPPENED?
218
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:13,830
I FORGOT THE PUNCH LINE!
219
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THE KIDS, THEY WENT NUTS!
220
00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:19,137
THEY THREW STUFF... BIG, PAINFUL
221
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STUFF!
222
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:24,033
WHEN I FINALLY WOKE UP DAYS
223
00:07:24,051 --> 00:07:26,371
LATER, EVERYONE WAS GONE,
224
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INCLUDING CHUNKO.
225
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:30,200
OH, CHUNKO.
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00:07:30,267 --> 00:07:31,727
TO THIS DAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
227
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,231
HAPPENED TO YOU.
228
00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:36,110
SINCE THAT DAY, I VOW THAT NO
229
00:07:36,135 --> 00:07:38,965
ONE WILL TELL A JOKE, UNLESS I
230
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SAID SO!
231
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,660
BUT YOU'RE NOT LETTING ANYONE
232
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TELL JOKES.
233
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EXACTLY!
234
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,210
THAT'S WHY NO ONE CAN GET HURT
235
00:07:47,235 --> 00:07:49,865
LIKE CHUNKO AND I DID.
236
00:07:49,933 --> 00:07:52,243
BOYS, FEED THIS KID TO THE LIONS
237
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AND SEE IF THEY THINK HE TASTES
238
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FUNNY!
239
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UH, CAN I JUST SAY ONE THING?
240
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WHAT?!
241
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UH... KNOCK, KNOCK.
242
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OH. UH, OKAY.
243
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:05,667
WHO'S THERE?
244
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NOT ME!
245
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[ LAUGHTER ]
246
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QUIT CLOWNING AROUND AND GET
247
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HIM!
248
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ISN'T THIS GREAT?
249
00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:17,543
GOING TO THE CIRCUS WITH MY
250
00:08:17,568 --> 00:08:19,798
DAUGHTER AND THE LIONS AND THE
251
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,267
TIGERS AND THE BEARS... OH, MY!
252
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:24,333
THIS IS PRETTY FUN, DAD.
253
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,600
HEY, LOOK!
254
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:28,497
THEY'RE SENDING IN THE CLOWNS.
255
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:31,027
[ LAUGHTER ]
256
00:08:31,051 --> 00:08:33,531
WHOA!
257
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:37,670
AAAAAAAH!
258
00:08:37,733 --> 00:08:40,033
AAAAAAAH!
259
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,690
UH, DAD, COULD YOU GET US
260
00:08:45,718 --> 00:08:47,528
SOME MORE POPCORN, PLEASE?
261
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,970
SURE.
262
00:08:49,033 --> 00:08:50,543
BUT COME FIND ME IF THEY BRING
263
00:08:50,568 --> 00:08:52,098
OUT THE FAT LADY WITH THE BEARD
264
00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:55,287
AND THE TATTOOS AND ALL THE
265
00:08:55,318 --> 00:08:58,468
LITTLE JINGLY THINGS.
266
00:08:58,533 --> 00:09:00,273
YOU OKAY, NUMBUH 2?
267
00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,303
JUST HANGING OUT.
268
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:03,897
THAT'S IT, KID!
269
00:09:03,967 --> 00:09:06,537
YOUR STAGE TIME'S UP, AND THAT
270
00:09:06,568 --> 00:09:09,168
JOKE WAS YOUR FINAL PERFORMANCE.
271
00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:10,473
NUMBUH 5!
272
00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:11,683
HANG TIGHT TO THAT ROPE,
273
00:09:11,701 --> 00:09:12,871
NUMBUH 2.
274
00:09:12,933 --> 00:09:15,573
HANG TIGHT TO THE TIGHTROPE?
275
00:09:15,633 --> 00:09:17,093
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE FINALLY
276
00:09:17,118 --> 00:09:18,598
GETTING A SENSE OF... WHOA!
277
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:22,927
WHAT ARE YOU...
278
00:09:22,951 --> 00:09:27,231
AAAAAAAAH!
279
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,530
COME ON!
280
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,330
NOT SO FAST, KIDDIES.
281
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,390
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
282
00:09:35,418 --> 00:09:37,428
CREAM PUFFS... GET DOWN!
283
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,030
OHHHH!
284
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:42,070
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
285
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,903
AAAAAAAH!
286
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:45,767
NOT SO FUNNY NOW, HUH?
287
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:47,813
I THINK IT'S TIME TO CLOSE
288
00:09:47,834 --> 00:09:49,834
THIS LITTLE JOKE BOOK... FOR
289
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:50,900
GOOD!
290
00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:52,427
EXCUSE ME, FELLAS.
291
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,370
I'M JUST GONNA GET SOME POPCORN.
292
00:09:54,433 --> 00:09:55,633
HEY!
293
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:59,000
IF IT ISN'T BUNKO THE CLOWN!
294
00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:01,667
> CH-CHUNKO?
295
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:03,233
YOU'RE ALIVE.
296
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,890
W-WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THESE
297
00:10:04,918 --> 00:10:06,528
YEARS?
298
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,280
WELL, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO
299
00:10:08,301 --> 00:10:10,001
CALL YOU, BUT, YOU KNOW, AFTER
300
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,577
THE PARTY, I DECIDED THAT BEING
301
00:10:12,601 --> 00:10:15,131
A CLOWN WAS KIND OF... YOU KNOW,
302
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,570
STUPID.
303
00:10:16,633 --> 00:10:20,033
I MEAN, LOOK AT YOURSELVES.
304
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:21,990
UH, THESE PANTS DO MAKE MY
305
00:10:22,018 --> 00:10:23,928
BUTT LOOK BIG.
306
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,860
STUPID, YOU LOVED BEING A
307
00:10:25,885 --> 00:10:27,765
CLOWN!
308
00:10:27,833 --> 00:10:29,583
YEAH, BUT BEING A DOCTOR, I
309
00:10:29,601 --> 00:10:31,371
MAKE A LOT MORE MONEY, WITH
310
00:10:31,433 --> 00:10:33,043
THE GOLF CLUBS AND THE DECK
311
00:10:33,068 --> 00:10:34,698
CHAIRS ON THE BOAT AND...
312
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,957
HEY, I COULD PROBABLY GET YOU
313
00:10:36,985 --> 00:10:39,195
GUYS SOME JOBS CLEANING BEDPANS
314
00:10:39,267 --> 00:10:41,067
AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU WANT.
315
00:10:41,133 --> 00:10:42,403
REALLY?
316
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:43,787
HEY, CAN I WEAR ONE OF THOSE
317
00:10:43,818 --> 00:10:45,168
STETHOMOSCOPE THINGIES?
318
00:10:45,233 --> 00:10:46,333
SURE!
319
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,400
COME IN ON THURSDAY.
320
00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:49,667
HERE, KID.
321
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,683
YOU TAKE OVER THE FUNNY
322
00:10:51,701 --> 00:10:53,671
BUSINESS FROM HERE ON.
323
00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:55,533
I'M GETTING A REAL JOB.
324
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:56,930
WOW!
325
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,310
HEY, NUMBUH 5, I DIDN'T NOSE
326
00:10:59,335 --> 00:11:01,665
YOUR DAD USED TO BE A CLOWN.
327
00:11:01,733 --> 00:11:02,973
OH!
328
00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:04,733
MAYBE WE SHOULD SHOW THE KID
329
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,471
HOW IT'S DONE, BUNKO.
330
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,003
YOU BETCHA!
331
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,557
SAY, CHUNKO, DO YOU KNOW WHY THE
332
00:11:10,585 --> 00:11:13,095
CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD?
333
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:14,427
WHY, NO, BUNKO.
334
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,180
I DO NOT KNOW WHY THE CHICKEN
335
00:11:16,201 --> 00:11:17,901
CROSSED THE ROAD WITH THE
336
00:11:17,967 --> 00:11:19,537
DRIVING AND THE CARBON MONOXIDE
337
00:11:19,568 --> 00:11:21,168
AND THE BREEZES...
338
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:23,493
WELL, CHUNKO, THE CHICKEN
339
00:11:23,518 --> 00:11:25,798
CROSSED THE ROAD BECAUSE...
340
00:11:25,867 --> 00:11:28,267
UH, HE CROSSED THE...
341
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:30,463
[ AUDIENCE BOOING ]
342
00:11:30,484 --> 00:11:32,634
NO, NOT AGAIN!
343
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,100
AAAAAH!
344
00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:35,867
THE CHICKEN JOKE... HA!
345
00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:37,233
CLASSIC.
346
00:11:54,733 --> 00:11:56,833
RAINBOW MONKEYS... SOME SAY
347
00:11:56,851 --> 00:11:58,971
THEY'RE FILLED WITH LOVE.
348
00:11:59,033 --> 00:12:00,913
OTHERS SAY THAT EVERY ONE IS
349
00:12:00,934 --> 00:12:02,834
MADE FROM A GREAT BIG RAINBOW,
350
00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,180
BUT I SAY THEY'RE NOTHING BUT
351
00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,501
TROUBLE.
352
00:12:05,567 --> 00:12:07,227
FOR INSTANCE, I WAS ONCE AT A
353
00:12:07,251 --> 00:12:08,931
DINNER PARTY WHERE A LITTLE GIRL
354
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,530
DECIDED THAT IF SHE COULDN'T
355
00:12:10,551 --> 00:12:12,101
HAVE HER SISTER'S POSH PARTY
356
00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:14,137
- RAINBOW MONKEY, THEN NO ONE - WOULD.
357
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,893
AND WHEN A CERTAIN DETECTIVE
358
00:12:15,918 --> 00:12:17,598
CAUGHT HER DOING THE DEED, SHE
359
00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:19,227
PAID THE PRICE... GROUNDED FOR
360
00:12:19,251 --> 00:12:20,831
LIFE WITH NO HOPE FOR TV.
361
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,560
EVERYONE THOUGHT THAT WAS THE
362
00:12:22,585 --> 00:12:24,265
END OF THE STORY, BUT NOT ME.
363
00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:25,863
SOME KIDS JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN
364
00:12:25,884 --> 00:12:27,434
TO LEAVE THINGS BURIED.
365
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:30,730
SOME KIDS WANT REVENGE.
366
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,610
THOSE WHO FORK THEIR SISTER'S
367
00:12:32,635 --> 00:12:34,465
RAINBOW MONKEY IN THE BACK ARE
368
00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:36,013
BAD AND MUST BE PUNISHED,
369
00:12:36,034 --> 00:12:37,534
MUSHI SANBAN!
370
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,240
PREPARE TO FEEL THE PADDLESOME
371
00:12:40,268 --> 00:12:42,928
POWER OF COUNT SPANKULOT!
372
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,140
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
373
00:12:45,168 --> 00:12:47,328
COME IN.
374
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,430
AAAAH!
375
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,170
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU... AAAH!
376
00:12:50,233 --> 00:12:51,833
YOU... AAH!
377
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,570
NO, NO!
378
00:12:53,633 --> 00:12:55,403
GET AWAY FROM ME!
379
00:12:55,467 --> 00:12:57,967
AAAAAH!
380
00:12:58,033 --> 00:12:59,373
MUSHI!
381
00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:00,743
ENOUGH WITH ALL THE RACKET UP
382
00:13:00,768 --> 00:13:02,098
THERE, OR YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR
383
00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:03,267
DOUBLE LIFE!
384
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:04,703
NOW, CONNIE, RELAX.
385
00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:06,407
THE LEAST WE CAN DO IS LET HER
386
00:13:06,435 --> 00:13:08,095
PLAY IN HER ROOM WHILE SHE'S
387
00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:09,527
GROUNDED.
388
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:10,780
I AM JUST TRYING TO MAKE THE
389
00:13:10,801 --> 00:13:12,001
PERFECT DESSERT FOR OUR DINNER
390
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,227
GUESTS, AND MAKING ICE CREAM
391
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:16,431
SUNDAE TAKES CONCENTRATION!
392
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,260
YOU MUST HAVE THE RIGHT ICE
393
00:13:18,285 --> 00:13:20,065
CREAM, THE BEST BANANAS, AND THE
394
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,273
RICHEST CHOCOLATE SAUCE... OH!
395
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,803
I FORGOT THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE!
396
00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:26,867
NOOOOOO!
397
00:13:26,933 --> 00:13:28,463
AND WHEN I WAS A CHILD, ALL
398
00:13:28,484 --> 00:13:30,034
WE COULD AFFORD FOR DESSERT WERE
399
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,660
THOSE STYROFOAM PACKING PEANUTS,
400
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,265
WHICH WEREN'T SO BAD, YOU KNOW,
401
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:35,343
- IF YOU PUT SOME BRACKISH WATER - ON THEM.
402
00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:37,443
[ ALL TALKING AT ONCE ]
403
00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:39,498
I'M AFRAID THE SUNDAES AREN'T
404
00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:40,067
READY YET.
405
00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:41,473
All: OHH!
406
00:13:41,533 --> 00:13:43,533
BUT WE DO NEED SOMEBODY TO
407
00:13:43,551 --> 00:13:45,571
RUN OUT AND GET SOME CHOCOLATE
408
00:13:45,633 --> 00:13:46,233
SAUCE.
409
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,530
All: ME!
410
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,200
LET ME SEE...
411
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:52,727
ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!
412
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:53,800
ME, ME!
413
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,773
HOAGIE.
414
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:56,073
UH, NOT ME.
415
00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:57,863
I, UH, I GOT THIS THING WITH
416
00:13:57,884 --> 00:13:59,634
CHOCOLATE SAUCE.
417
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,300
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!
418
00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:03,407
YOU GET GOING BEFORE I MAKE YOU,
419
00:14:03,435 --> 00:14:05,495
YOU LITTLE...
420
00:14:05,567 --> 00:14:06,627
OKAY, OKAY.
421
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:08,070
JEEZ.
422
00:14:08,133 --> 00:14:10,283
NOW, AS I WAS SAYING, THERE
423
00:14:10,301 --> 00:14:12,471
WAS THIS ONE TIME WHEN ALL WE
424
00:14:12,533 --> 00:14:14,843
HAD FOR DESSERT WAS METAL
425
00:14:14,868 --> 00:14:17,198
SHAVINGS... HARD TO SWALLOW.
426
00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:19,587
[ ELECTRICITY ZAPPING ]
427
00:14:19,618 --> 00:14:21,968
P-PLEASE, LITTLE GIRL, I
428
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,793
PROMISE NOT TO SPANK ANOTHER
429
00:14:23,818 --> 00:14:25,598
CHILD EVER AGAIN!
430
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:28,107
OH, IT WON'T BE YOU SPANKING
431
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,595
CHILDREN ANYMORE.
432
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:32,277
ONCE MY PIZATRONIC
433
00:14:32,301 --> 00:14:33,931
DEFIBRILLATIONER POWER SWITCHER
434
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,060
GOES INTO EFFECT, YOU WON'T BE
435
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:40,165
SPANKING ANYTHING EVER AGAIN!
436
00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:43,373
AAAAAAAH!
437
00:14:43,433 --> 00:14:45,903
AAAAAAAH!
438
00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,743
ICE CREAM SUNDAES... THEY
439
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,098
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE.
440
00:14:56,167 --> 00:14:57,667
BUT WHAT MAKES THEM SO GOOD?
441
00:14:57,733 --> 00:14:59,143
IS THE THE WHIPPED CREAM OR THE
442
00:14:59,168 --> 00:15:00,598
NUTS?
443
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,467
MAYBE THE CHERRY ON TOP?
444
00:15:02,533 --> 00:15:03,673
NOPE.
445
00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:05,273
IT'S THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE.
446
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:06,763
BACK THEN, I COULDN'T GET ENOUGH
447
00:15:06,784 --> 00:15:08,234
OF THE STUFF.
448
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:10,010
I WAS HITTING THE SAUCE FOR
449
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,765
BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER.
450
00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,143
IT WAS LIKE EVERY MEAL WAS
451
00:15:13,168 --> 00:15:14,498
DESSERT FOR ME.
452
00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:16,327
SO I HAD TO DROP IT, DROP IT
453
00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:18,131
LIKE A PAIR OF DIRTY UNDERWEAR
454
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,270
INTO THE HAMPER.
455
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:22,113
[ METAL RATTLING ]
456
00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:24,934
HELLO!
457
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,600
ANYBODY HOME?
458
00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:31,627
ANYBODY?
459
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:33,630
OKAY, THEN.
460
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,960
I'LL JUST LEAVE THIS MONEY HERE
461
00:15:35,985 --> 00:15:38,265
FOR THE SAUCE, OKAY?
462
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:41,373
HUH.
463
00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:43,313
[ SIREN WAILS ]
464
00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:45,234
WELL, WELL, WELL.
465
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:46,830
WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
466
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:48,200
JOE BALOOKA.
467
00:15:48,267 --> 00:15:49,757
HE USED TO BE ON THE SCHOOL
468
00:15:49,785 --> 00:15:51,295
SAFETY PATROL UNTIL I FINGERED
469
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,037
HIM FOR HELPING NURSE CLAIBORNE
470
00:15:53,068 --> 00:15:54,768
MAKE APPLE CRUMBLE USING KIDS'
471
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:56,273
PINK-EYE CRUST AS TOPPING.
472
00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:57,993
SINCE THEN, THE ONLY WORK HE CAN
473
00:15:58,018 --> 00:15:59,698
GET HAS BEEN PATROLLING THE
474
00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:01,467
PARKING LOT OF HIS DAD'S STORE.
475
00:16:01,533 --> 00:16:02,683
AND GUESS WHO HE BLAMES FOR
476
00:16:02,701 --> 00:16:03,871
THAT.
477
00:16:03,933 --> 00:16:05,713
HOAGIE GILLIGAN, WHAT BRINGS
478
00:16:05,734 --> 00:16:07,534
YOU TO MY FATHER'S STORE WHEN
479
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,630
THE POWER'S OUT?
480
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:09,880
ASIDE FROM HITTING THE SAUCE,
481
00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:11,101
THAT IS.
482
00:16:11,167 --> 00:16:12,527
KNOCK IT OFF, JOE.
483
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,130
YOU KNOW I'M OFF THAT STUFF.
484
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,530
ARE YOU, NOW?
485
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,160
AS I RECALL, YOU USED TO HAVE A
486
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,765
REAL PROBLEM WITH CHOCOLATE
487
00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:20,193
SAUCE WHEN WE WERE ON THE SAFETY
488
00:16:20,218 --> 00:16:21,598
PATROL TOGETHER.
489
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:23,297
YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO GET SOME.
490
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:24,687
LOOKS LIKE YOU'D EVEN RESORT TO
491
00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:26,068
STEALING IT.
492
00:16:26,133 --> 00:16:27,893
THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO,
493
00:16:27,918 --> 00:16:29,698
JOE, AND I DIDN'T STEAL IT.
494
00:16:29,767 --> 00:16:31,597
THERE'S MONEY ON THE COUNTER.
495
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:32,827
SEE FOR YOURSELF.
496
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:34,330
MAYBE I WILL.
497
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,730
STEWIE, TAKE A LOOK INSIDE.
498
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,230
B-BUT IT'S DARK IN THERE,
499
00:16:38,251 --> 00:16:39,701
JOEY.
500
00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:42,697
JUST DO IT!
501
00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:48,703
AAAAAAH!
502
00:16:48,767 --> 00:16:51,237
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT AN
503
00:16:51,268 --> 00:16:53,768
ACCOMPLICE.
504
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:56,103
HUH?
505
00:16:56,167 --> 00:17:00,597
FROLICKING RAINBOW MONKEYS!
506
00:17:00,667 --> 00:17:02,737
OH, MY ARM... I THINK IT'S
507
00:17:02,768 --> 00:17:04,868
BROKEN!
508
00:17:04,933 --> 00:17:06,373
NOOOOOO!
509
00:17:06,433 --> 00:17:08,073
STEWIE!
510
00:17:08,133 --> 00:17:09,933
EAT BALLOON, YOU
511
00:17:09,951 --> 00:17:11,771
GROCERY-STEALING GORILLA!
512
00:17:11,833 --> 00:17:13,333
[ GROWLS ]
513
00:17:13,351 --> 00:17:14,871
UH-OH... YEOW!
514
00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:16,773
OH, PLEASE, NO, NO, NO!
515
00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:19,973
OW, OW!
516
00:17:20,033 --> 00:17:23,973
AAAAAAH!
517
00:17:24,033 --> 00:17:25,603
OHH.
518
00:17:28,933 --> 00:17:31,513
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
519
00:17:31,534 --> 00:17:34,134
FIND HOAGIE GILLIGAN.
520
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:39,730
FIND HIM AND SPANK HIM!
521
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:43,230
[ GROWLING ]
522
00:17:43,251 --> 00:17:46,701
HUH? WHOA!
523
00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:48,477
[ PANTING ]
524
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,231
AAAAAH!
525
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,430
WAIT... I KNOW YOU.
526
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,060
YOU'RE NUMBUH 3'S POSH PARTY
527
00:18:08,085 --> 00:18:09,665
RAINBOW MONKEY.
528
00:18:09,733 --> 00:18:10,803
AM I?
529
00:18:10,867 --> 00:18:12,097
YEAH.
530
00:18:12,167 --> 00:18:13,487
YOU WERE SPECIALLY DESIGNED TO
531
00:18:13,518 --> 00:18:14,868
LOVE PARTIES AND SOCIAL
532
00:18:14,933 --> 00:18:15,673
GATHERINGS.
533
00:18:15,733 --> 00:18:23,733
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?
534
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,560
[ SIGHS ]
535
00:18:26,585 --> 00:18:28,165
THAT'S RIGHT.
536
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,133
THE POSH PARTY RAINBOW MONKEY I
537
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,071
KNEW HAD REAL CARE-'N-SHARE
538
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,503
SIGHING ACTION.
539
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:34,567
COME ON.
540
00:18:34,633 --> 00:18:36,103
I'LL SHOW YOU.
541
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:37,957
[ GRUNTS ]
542
00:18:37,985 --> 00:18:39,795
IT'S OKAY.
543
00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:41,997
COME TO HOAGIE!
544
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:54,833
AHH!
545
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:58,130
NOW, THAT'S THE POSH PARTY
546
00:18:58,151 --> 00:19:01,401
RAINBOW MONKEY I KNOW.
547
00:19:01,467 --> 00:19:02,587
TAKE THIS, YOU
548
00:19:02,618 --> 00:19:03,768
CHOCOLATE-SAUCE-STEALING,
549
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:05,283
HUGGING IN THE MIDDLE OF AN
550
00:19:05,301 --> 00:19:06,771
ELECTRICAL SUBSTATION COUPLE
551
00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:08,403
OF WEIRDOS!
552
00:19:08,467 --> 00:19:10,427
NO!
553
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:11,810
[ GROANING ]
554
00:19:11,835 --> 00:19:13,165
POSH PARTY RAINBOW MONKEY!
555
00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:21,453
- GET OUT OF THERE BEFORE YOU... - OH, I'M GETTING WORRIED.
556
00:19:30,067 --> 00:19:32,507
- HOAGIE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BACK BY - NOW.
557
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,070
WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
558
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:35,603
DID YOU GET THE SAUCE?
559
00:19:35,667 --> 00:19:37,197
FORGET THE SAUCE.
560
00:19:37,267 --> 00:19:39,427
I NEED TO TALK TO MUSHI.
561
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,800
WHAT'S THIS?!
562
00:19:40,867 --> 00:19:42,807
YOU DARE RETURN TO THIS HOUSE
563
00:19:42,835 --> 00:19:44,795
WITHOUT CHOC... AAH!
564
00:19:44,867 --> 00:19:46,367
QUIET.
565
00:19:46,433 --> 00:19:48,393
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
566
00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:50,398
SORRY TO DROP BY SO LATE,
567
00:19:50,467 --> 00:19:52,527
MR. SANBAN, BUT I JUST WANTED TO
568
00:19:52,551 --> 00:19:54,631
APOLOGIZE TO HOAGIE GILLIGAN FOR
569
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,140
ACCUSING HIM OF STEALING
570
00:19:56,168 --> 00:19:57,628
CHOCOLATE SAUCE FROM MY DAD'S
571
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:59,000
STORE.
572
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,207
- YOU SEE, I FOUND THE MONEY HE - LEFT ON THE COUNTER, AND...
573
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:03,443
SO, IF YOU COULD GIVE THIS...
574
00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:05,698
FINALLY, MY SUNDAES WILL BE
575
00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:06,767
COMPLETE!
576
00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:08,463
[ LAUGHS ]
577
00:20:08,484 --> 00:20:10,134
WHATCHA DOING, MUSHI?
578
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,930
WHY'D YOU BRING POSH PARTY
579
00:20:11,951 --> 00:20:13,701
RAINBOW MONKEY BACK TO SPANK ME?
580
00:20:13,767 --> 00:20:15,827
REVENGE!
581
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:18,340
BUT I GUESS YOU CAN'T TRUST A
582
00:20:18,368 --> 00:20:20,828
RAINBOW MONKEY TO DO A
583
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:22,900
KINDERGARTNER'S JOB!
584
00:20:22,967 --> 00:20:24,307
JEEZ, MUSHI, I'M NOT GOING TO
585
00:20:24,335 --> 00:20:25,695
FIGHT YOU.
586
00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,627
YOU'RE LIKE 5 YEARS... OOH!
587
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:29,330
WELL, MAYBE I'LL FIGHT YOU JUST
588
00:20:29,351 --> 00:20:31,001
THIS ONCE.
589
00:20:31,067 --> 00:20:32,697
BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE.
590
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:34,127
HYAH!
591
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,170
THOUSAND-COLOR SHOWER OF DOOM!
592
00:20:37,233 --> 00:20:39,373
YIKES!
593
00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:41,113
IT LOOKED LIKE I WAS TRAPPED,
594
00:20:41,134 --> 00:20:42,834
TRAPPED LIKE A BOY FORCED TO GO
595
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:44,470
DRESS SHOPPING WITH HIS MOM.
596
00:20:44,533 --> 00:20:45,803
UNTIL...
597
00:20:45,867 --> 00:20:47,677
THAT RAINBOW MONKEY... I CAN
598
00:20:47,701 --> 00:20:49,531
FEEL MY SPANKULOT SPIRIT
599
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,100
COURSING THROUGH IT!
600
00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:55,097
YES!
601
00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:57,927
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
602
00:20:57,951 --> 00:21:00,731
COME ON OUT, HOAGIE!
603
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,830
YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM MY
604
00:21:02,851 --> 00:21:04,901
ELEVENTY-BILLION COLOR SHOWER OF
605
00:21:04,967 --> 00:21:06,427
DOOM!
606
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:08,490
ALL WHO STEAL THE POWER OF
607
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:10,528
SPANKINESS AND COMBINE IT WITH
608
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,960
FLUFFY STUFFED ANIMALS SHALL
609
00:21:12,985 --> 00:21:15,365
FEEL THE STINGING WRATH OF...
610
00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:17,973
COUNT SPANKULOT!
611
00:21:18,033 --> 00:21:19,903
AAAAAAAH!
612
00:21:19,967 --> 00:21:22,377
[ SPANKING ]
613
00:21:22,401 --> 00:21:24,831
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
614
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:27,330
MM, HMM HMM HMM!
615
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,280
AND NOW, HOAGIE GILLIGAN, IT
616
00:21:30,301 --> 00:21:33,201
IS TIME... FOR DESSERT!
617
00:21:33,267 --> 00:21:35,337
BOY, DID I EVER TELL YOU HOW
618
00:21:35,368 --> 00:21:37,468
WHEN I WAS YOUNG, ALL WE COULD
619
00:21:37,533 --> 00:21:38,933
AFFORD TO EAT FOR DESSERT WERE
620
00:21:38,951 --> 00:21:40,371
TADPOLES?
621
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,733
TADPOLES?!
622
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,910
I WOULD HAVE GIVEN MY LEFT
623
00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:46,065
PANCREAS TO EVEN HAVE TADPOLES.
624
00:21:46,133 --> 00:21:47,703
WE USED TOENAILS.
625
00:21:47,767 --> 00:21:49,497
I KNOW, RIGHT!
626
00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:51,397
SO THAT WAS THAT.
627
00:21:51,467 --> 00:21:53,037
MUSHI GOT FIVE CONSECUTIVE
628
00:21:53,068 --> 00:21:54,668
GROUNDINGS FOR LIFE AND WAS SENT
629
00:21:54,733 --> 00:21:56,273
TO HER ROOM WITHOUT DESSERT.
630
00:21:56,333 --> 00:21:57,433
BUT YOU KNOW ME.
631
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,400
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN OLD SOFTIE.
632
00:21:59,467 --> 00:22:00,877
HEY, MUSHI, I SNUCK YOU A
633
00:22:00,901 --> 00:22:02,331
SUNDAE.
634
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,940
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
635
00:22:04,968 --> 00:22:07,528
MUSHI?
636
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:08,770
PBHT!
637
00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:10,603
I'LL GET YOU, GILLIGAN!
638
00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:12,157
I'LL GET YOU IF IT'S THE LAST
639
00:22:12,185 --> 00:22:13,695
THING I DO!
640
00:22:13,767 --> 00:22:16,077
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
641
00:22:16,101 --> 00:22:18,431
KINDERGARTNERS... THEY'RE
642
00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:21,860
ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU HIT THE
643
00:22:21,885 --> 00:22:25,265
SAUCE.
644
00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:27,113
IN MY DAY, ALL WE HAD FOR
645
00:22:27,134 --> 00:22:28,934
DESSERT WAS SAND.
646
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,540
IF WE WANTED SAND, WE HAD TO
647
00:22:30,568 --> 00:22:32,128
GRIND UP ROCKS WITH OUR TEETH!
648
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,560
YEAH, WELL, WE HAD TO
649
00:22:33,585 --> 00:22:34,965
DISCOVER FIRE BEFORE WE COULD
650
00:22:35,033 --> 00:22:36,303
EVER ROAST MARSHMALLOWS.
651
00:22:36,367 --> 00:22:37,507
WHEN WE WERE YOUNG, OUR
652
00:22:37,535 --> 00:22:38,695
ANIMAL CRACKERS HADN'T EVEN
653
00:22:38,767 --> 00:22:40,167
EVOLVED YET!
654
00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:41,583
OUR CANDY STORE HAD ONLY ONE
655
00:22:41,601 --> 00:22:42,971
BUTTERSCOTCH, AND WE HAD TO TAKE
656
00:22:43,033 --> 00:22:44,473
A NUMBER JUST TO GET A LICK!
657
00:22:44,533 --> 00:22:45,993
WELL, INSTEAD OF ICE-CREAM
658
00:22:46,018 --> 00:22:47,498
SANDWICHES, WE PUT A BAR OF SOAP
659
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:49,027
BETWEEN SAND PAPER!
660
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:50,590
BACK IN OUR DAY, A JAWBREAKER
661
00:22:50,618 --> 00:22:52,128
USED TO BE A CARAMEL AND A PUNCH
662
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:52,900
IN THE FACE!
663
00:22:52,967 --> 00:22:54,127
JUST A PUNCH?
664
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,600
STOP IT!
665
00:22:55,667 --> 00:22:58,097
SO, SPANKULOT, YOU MARRIED?
40412
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