Original subtitles

Are you using the Bohemian hibiscus

for Danny? It's $50 an ounce.

Desperate circumstances call for desperate measures.

Ooh.

Wow. That's really nice.

It's, um... like, fruity yet...

Diabolical.

Wow, the Elysian sunflower's a nice touch.

Mm. Are you going to be back this afternoon?

Well, if this stuff works,

I won't even be gone the whole hour.

Oh, like Danny needs perfume for motivation.

No, this is a real test.

I'm going to be invading some very sacred space.

- Hey. - Hey.

Right on time.

Always.

He's, uh... up on 28.

Okay.

Here you go.

- What a gentleman. - Yeah, that's me.

Thanks.

All right.

You guys going to be long?

As long as it takes.

Yeah. Long.

Avon calling.

Smell.

What is that?

It smells better right here.

- What? - Yes.

Well...

Body temperature releases the scent.

- Really. - Mm-hmm. Sniff.

You know what I'm going to do?

For research purposes, I'm going to...

Wow.

Wow, I just love your dedication to science.

Step on over here in my private office.

What is it with women and elevators, anyway?

Beats the hell out of me.

Boy, would I love to find out.

Yeah.

A subtitle made possible by R3V0LV3R.

Damn.

Okay. It's okay.

So,

how'd the Giants do?

Won. They won five in a row.

We should go when they get back from these away games.

Yeah?

Oh, don't forget about tonight.

No excuses.

We both agreed that date night cannot be canceled,

and I have planned something very special.

The architect's coming by today.

I may have to...

um...

...leave the meeting early

so that I can make it home in time

for our special once-a-month date night.

Listen, I've got to go.

Okay. Ooh, you're quite messy, hon.

Bye.

Oh, can you go by the cleaners,

drop off that stuff?

Just say "Him-ho-tie-yan-ting- yah-law."

That means, um, "Not too stiff. Tomorrow, I pick up."

Him-ho-tine... tine-yah-ting-yah-law?

Hon, it's him-ho-tie-yan- ting-yah-law.

T-ting-yah-law.

Him-ho-tie-yan-ting-yah-law.

- Ting-yah-law. - Ting-yah-law.

- Law! - Law! Thank you.

Make sure you got 'em...

So, uh, you do it anyplace interesting lately?

Your house with Julie.

Oh-ho, no wonder she's been in such a good mood.

I mean, what is it

with you and Jennifer

and this spontaneity thing?

She's been trying to come up with a... aphrodisiac

she can sell at the shop, so she, uh...

she surprises me in the weirdest places.

Well, that's too much pressure for me.

I mean, I need a little... warning

before the wife requires my services.

Yeah, like a week, ten days?

Yeah, that'll do it.

You know, some of the guys think.

Jennifer's trying to get pregnant.

You guys are talking about my sex life.

No, we talk about Jennifer's sex life.

I mean, we'd leave you out of it if we could.

Admit it... I got a great love life with my wife,

and it drives you guys crazy.

It does seem a little unnatural.

Feels very natural to me.

Ow!

Who the hell is that?

That is Lindsay Hamilton.

That's the architect who designed this building?

Yeah.

I thought Lindsay was a man.

Well, if it is, that's some damn fine makeup.

Hi, boys.

Uh, where can I find your boss?

Well, mine's at home with the kids, but, uh...

you know, if there's something special you want to do,

I could always call and ask permission.

Cute, but I'm in a bit of a hurry,

so if you could just point me

to Mr. Robertson...

I'm Danny Robertson. Hi.

Sorry.

Plans are up on 28.

I'll just wait down here.

That elevator really only accommodates two comfortably.

By the way, my name is Steve.

Good old Steve.

I agreed to date night,

not to humiliate myself in a karaoke bar.

Excuse me, sorry.

Right here, right here.

That's it.

T... This is a booth?

Oh, sure. It's a Japanese booth.

Oh...

Oh, a Japanese booth.

Okay, one free song with each order of sushi.

Mark selection on the card, then you give it to me, okay?

Uh-uh... arigatou,

I'm pretty sure not everybody in here's

as bad as we are, Jen.

I know, hon.

De... Well, have some sake.

Look, drink menu.

Hon, do you have a pen?

Oh, you're not going to sing, are you?

Honey, we are going to sing.

Sakes are coming, hon.

You know, they're... they're very good.

Yeah.

Yeah, the crowd is really loving these songs.

Did you pick something good?

Yeah. Motown, hon.

Here.

Oh.

Next up is Danny and Jennifer.

Come on, hon, we got to sing Motown.

Here we go.

Honey, this isn't Motown.

Love.

Love will keep us together.

Come on, hon.

Think of me, babe, whenever.

Some sweet-talking girl comes along.

Singin' a song.

Don't mess around, you just got to be strong.

- Just stop. - Stop.

- 'Cause I really love you. - 'Cause I love you.

Stop

I'll be thinking of you.

Look in my heart and let love...

- Keep... - I love you.

I love you, too.

Oops.

Let's go, pal.

One moment, sir.

You reading a book?

Hi.

Hey.

Hey.

Your essential oil shipment came in.

Really? Where?

Oh, thank God.

Okay.

Right.

Clearing apprehension.

Ooh, I really needed that.

What do you have

to be apprehensive about?

Well, I've got this new neighbor.

I've been trying to get his attention for weeks.

Finally, this morning,

he asked me to bag my garbage tighter.

Hey, I know it's going to be a challenge,

But I don't know, there's something about this guy.

I really like him.

Do you know anything about him?

Yes, I do.

He's a mortician, and he looks great in black.

That would be a job requirement.

Hey, don't be a smart-ass.

Honestly, I want to try to get to know him more.

I want him to notice me.

Well, you could always get naked

and put a tag on your toe.

Tried that.

What I need is

if you wouldn't mind mixing up some of that perfume you made

for you and Danny.

And use up the Bohemian hibiscus at $50 an ounce?

I'm going up against formaldehyde.

I need the good stuff.

Okay, okay,

I'll do it when I get back.

Where you going? More love in the afternoon?

No. I'm four days late.

But my pregnancy

test was negative.

I'm going to go see Dr. Felber.

He's always so comforting.

Is Danny... ejaculating?

What?

Is Danny ejaculating?

Of course.

Are you sure?

Do you actually see the result?

Are you thinking that my husband is faking orgasm?

It is possible, you know.

You do it to us, uh, so I've been told.

But that makes no sense.

Danny loves sex,

and he's not opposed to having kids.

He just doesn't want the process

to take over our lives.

Jennifer, many young couples get overwhelmed

by the stress of trying to have a child.

A positive frame of mind

is just as important as your physical health.

But I think positive.

I've always thought positive,

long before it was popular.

That's the way.

Convince yourself.

Now is the time, this is the month.

You will conceive.

But are you sure

there's nothing wrong with me physically?

Have you run every test

possible?

Don't let your insurance company hear you ask me that.

Please, I have to be sure.

So that I can be positive.

Hey, Danny,

what are you building over there?

Holly, I have no idea.

Danny, it's not such a big deal.

We said I'd get off the pill,

I got off the pill.

But building a nursery

is not the next logical step.

It goes no pill, pregnancy,

then nursery.

But I'm going to be pregnant.

See, that's the whole point.

It's positive thinking.

Yeah, but that's not the point.

The point is we said

we weren't going to think about this at all.

We said we were going to...

we're just going to let nature take its course,

and if it happens, then great, it happens.

Then we build the nursery.

But sweetheart...

So, how are things going with the mortician?

Thank you.

He happens to be out of town.

He's at a cremation convention this weekend.

Oh. Sounds like a very hot time.

Will you stop with the mortician jokes?

You're killing me.

How's Operation Positive going?

Thank you.

Well, negative, so far.

Well, maybe you ought to think

about adding another layer of positive action.

Thank you.

I saw this in the Chronicle,

Hi. How are you?

Great. Say, Danny, I want you to know

when your baby comes,

I'm available for baby-sitting.

I know I'm only ten,

but I'm very responsible for my age.

I'm captain of my soccer team,

and I almost made straight "A's" last report card.

And my rates are very competitive.

That's quite impressive, Holly,

but I don't think we're going to be needing a baby-sitter soon.

Mr. Babyproofer says it's never too early

to start thinking about the safety of your baby.

Holly, who's Mr. Babyproofer?

He just left, but he's coming back.

He says your deck is an accident

waiting to happen.

Thank you so much.

Thank you very much.

Jen, what's wrong?

I just got my test results from Dr. Felber.

Yeah?

I'm fine.

You're fine?

Oh, honey, I'm a little confused.

Help me here so I know what to spray you with.

Well, if it's not me, it must be Danny.

Oh.

Well, now, you're just jumping to conclusions.

Just because there's nothing wrong with you

doesn't mean there's something wrong with Danny.

Maybe your timing's just been off.

Nancy,

for the last six months,

our rhythm has been better than a percussion section.

Well... well, maybe it's just what Dr. Felber said.

You're just putting too much pressure on yourself.

Yeah, you just got to take some of that pressure off.

You got to just... breathe.

Just breathe, yeah.

You just got to breathe.

Is this like Lamaze?

It's time you became familiar

with some nontraditional methods

of improving your fertility.

Jennifer... whose are these?

Um, they're yours.

No. No, no, I... I can't be dangling loose

in boxer shorts, honey.

I work around power tools.

Come on, honey, I bet half the guys at work wear boxers.

Yeah, and you can tell who they are.

They've always got their hands in their pockets, walking around

adjusting themselves. Where are my Jockeys?

I got rid of them.

You got...

Well, boxers are so much sexier.

Jennifer, I wear Jockeys.

I mean, that-that's what I do.

That's what I've always done.

I mean, it's-it's really who I am.

Well, just... set yourself free, hon.

I got to rinse.

Holly?

Hi.

Hi.

- Two dozen, right? - Right.

Thanks, Jennifer.

My soccer team loves your peanut butter cookies.

Oh. Anytime.

We've got another game this Thursday.

Well, then I better be baking some cookies.

Thanks.

It's a good batch.

They're all crispy on the bottom.

The kids always love your cookies.

Wait up.

Damn.

Mind if I join you?

No. Not at all.

Have a seat.

Oh, um, actually,

would you mind if I just borrowed

Danny for lunch?

I have a few things I need to talk to him about.

Oh, sure, yeah.

I was just finishing up.

So... there you go.

Uh, I'll, uh, meet you up top in half an hour.

Aren't you going to eat your lunch?

Oh, it's empty.

I thought the prop might make things

a little more comfortable.

I didn't know you were uncomfortable.

Yeah.

You make me a little nervous.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

You make me a lot nervous.

What did you want to talk about?

A job.

What kind of job?

In Seattle.

There's an old building

that a group of investors plans to renovate,

and it only has four elevators.

It needs to have at least six,

and they need to move faster

than the people walking

the stairs.

A lot of elevator companies up there in Seattle.

I meant what I said the other day.

There's not a lot of honest subs out there.

I'll let you know.

Thank you for the offer.

You're welcome.

I'll be right back.

I'm going to go downstairs and get a drink.

Don't go to sleep.

I'm almost ready.

Ready.

Two pages, and I finish this chapter.

I'm finished.

Wow.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, no.

I have something very special

planned for you tonight.

Just lay back.

Hmm.

God, it's been a while since you did this.

Yeah.

It's like riding a bike, hon.

You don't forget.

Those boxers do slide off easy.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God!

What the hell are you doing?

I-I just heard it was supposed to turn you on.

No more daytime television.

Okay.

Sorry. It's all gone.

Okay? Again?

Just wait.

Ready?

Okay.

Hey.

Yeah.

If you have any matches, I want them now.

- Ow. - Easy, easy.

We usually prefer

to collect the semen sample ourselves.

Do you need this back?

Oh, no thank you.

Real butter's better for you.

I know this isn't the usual procedure,

but it's so hard for Danny to get away from work.

He wanted me to bring in this sample

and get the results.

Did you run all the tests?

Yes. I've... I ran the tests.

Jennifer, I'm not very comfortable

going over these results without Danny present.

It's highly unusual.

It's not very ethical.

Well, Danny and I don't keep any secrets

from each other.

Yeah.

I'm a little disturbed by some of these results.

I'd like to make an appointment for Danny and you

with a friend of mine who's a fertility specialist.

Have an expert run some tests.

Of course.

I just have to check Danny's schedule.

Hi.

How was your day?

Good.

You know, I was thinking today,

I'm-I'm fine with all this... baby stuff, you know?

If you, if you need those things

to help you think positive about getting pregnant,

I mean, it's-it's fine by me.

Now, personally,

yes, I think you might be overdoing it a bit, but

I'm willing to play along, if it works for you.

Dear Mr. Ricardo,

My husband and I are going to have a blessed event.

I just found out about it today,

and I haven't told him yet.

I heard you sing a number

called 'We're Having a Baby, My Baby and Me.'

If you will sing it for us now, it will be my way of

breaking the news to him.

Isn't that wonderful?

Of course I'll do it for you. Sure.

Hey... Oh, wait a minute.

I got a wonderful idea.

Why don't we bring the couple up here,

and I'll sing it right to them, huh?

Come on, let's bring them up on the floor.

Come on, folks.

Come on. We're just trying to wish you luck.

Who is it?

No?

No?

Hiya, honey.

Hi.

Oh...

Honey, oh, honey.

Honey, no.

Yes.

- Really? - Yes.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well, you didn't give me a chance.

- Are you kidding me? - No...

It's me.

I'm gonna be a father.

How about that?

I want you to meet my mother.

I mean, my wife, my wife.

Do your song.

What?

Do the baby song. Do the baby song.

San Francisco Center for Fertility.

Hi.

We're the Robertsons.

We have an appointment.

We want to have a baby.

Isn't that nice?

Now, fill out everything in detail.

Including the questionnaire

on your sexual history and past drug use.

When you're done,

just stay seated.

I'll call you.

I-I'm sorry.

This is kind of, uh...

It's kind of personal stuff.

I'll be happy to let you read mine.

Don't say a word.

I wondered what happened to that woman

from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest,

Surviving sperm begin the journey

up the uterus to the Fallopian tubes.

Meanwhile, inside one of the two ovaries,

an egg is ripening.

The ripened egg bursts out of the ovary,

an event called "ovulation."

Propelled by tiny finger-like projections

on the ends of the Fallopian tubes,

the egg sweeps into one of the tubes

to await fertilization.

That comes when a surviving sperm begins to beat

against the clear membrane that surrounds the egg.

As soon as one of the sperm breaks through,

the membrane toughens, so that no other sperm can penetrate...

Okay.

How you doing?

First time?

It's our third clinic.

Ten years.

$50,000.

Three tubal pregnancies.

Scarred Fallopian tubes.

Gonorrhea in '89.

PID.

Pelvic inflammatory disease.

Very painful.

Welcome.

I'm glad you're here.

Starting this process is a big step

for couples.

We're pleased that you've chosen us

to help you.

Overcoming infertility can be time-consuming,

expensive,

not to mention, a little embarrassing

at times.

Yeah, uh, time out here.

I'm-I'm sorry.

Uh, there's a mistake.

We're not infertile.

Jennifer just went off the pill a few months ago,

and her... her doctor thought

it'd be a good idea for us to come down here

and get a... a couple of physicals

before we really, really start trying

to get pregnant,

so you-you should check that chart there.

I see.

Mmm.

Oh.

Well, if that's the case, I think it is better

that we get started right away.

Yeah.

Anatomy.

Nature.

Soft porn.

Not-so-soft porn.

Deviant behavior.

Women with men.

Women with women.

Miscellaneous.

Clean linens here.

Soiled linens there.

Lotions and creams here.

Remote control here.

And the emergency call button here.

Come in.

Hi. I'm sorry to bother you,

but there's a problem with Danny.

He's been in there more than 20 minutes.

Oh, well, that's not that long for him.

Aren't you the lucky one.

Yeah.

Hon, it's me.

Um...

Wow.

Pretty nice spread, huh?

I particularly like the section on deviant behavior.

Oh. I'm sorry.

I know it's hard for you.

No. That's... kind of the problem.

It's been a while

since I've done this without you.

I know.

Hey, look at this.

Good morning.

You have no idea how good a morning it is.

Last night, I had the most incredible sex of my life.

With the mortician?

I have never met a man who knows so much about a woman's body.

Well, he has had his hands on a few.

We go out to dinner, right?

After dinner, he asked if I want to see his business.

Forensic foreplay.

And I'm, like,

"Do I want to see his business?"

And then I think, if I really like this guy, and I do,

I'm going to eventually have to see his business.

We've had a few glasses of wine,

I think, what the hell, so I say, sure.

Before I go in, I dab on

a little of that perfume of yours.

Next thing I know, bottles are crashing to the floor,

clothes are being ripped off, and there's cold steel

pressing against my bare back.

The cold steel, mind you, of an embalming table.

Could you just die?

Nancy.

I mean, it was that perfume of yours.

You really got to go up in there and mix up a batch right away.

We're selling that stuff.

Yeah. Right away.

I'm telling you, I need it tonight, too.

I'm afraid the test result are not good.

I knew Dr. Felber was keeping something from me.

Honey, we said we wouldn't get emotional.

Jennifer, it's not you.

See that, it's...

What do you mean by that?

We have carefully tested you for potency, consistency,

count and visibility,

and the result are not very encouraging.

Wh-What do you mean not very encouraging?

I... I am potent.

He is very potent.

Extremely potent.

There's a mistake down at your lab

or a contamination problem.

A contamination problem.

Like the police DNA labs, they do it all the time.

Did you check that little "use by" date?

It was no mistake.

You have what we refer to as "lazy swimmers."

Please... sorry... don't call them that.

You are producing sperm,

they are just not making it to the mother's egg.

Well, give me something.

Some... vitamins or steroids.

You can inject me with steroids.

I mean, something to make them better swimmers.

I think it is important

that we consider alternative method to get Jennifer pregnant.

I made a decision.

I'm going to give you one of my kids.

Maybe if they weren't fully grown

and they looked more like Julie.

Please, look,

I know they're a bit past prime for adoption,

but I think this is the only way

I'm ever going to get the little bastards out of my house.

I'll give you the pick of the litter.

It's tempting, but I kind of wanted

to start from scratch.

Form one in my own disgusting image, you know?

Well, suit yourself.

But a lot of it's overrated.

Come on, Steve.

People say that the best moments of their lives

are, you know, with their children.

Well, those friends should also tell you

that children are also responsible

for the worst moments of your life.

Would you stop it?

No, I'm telling you.

Wait till you have a daughter,

this beautiful little bundle of joy

with a ponytail and freckles,

a vision who stares into your eyes

with love and admiration,

who begs you to read her a story before she goes to bed

or take her for a walk in the park,

a little person whose skin is so soft,

you can't believe it's real.

I mean, she's perfect.

And then, one day, when she's about... 15 or 16,

she's going to walk through your front door

with a pimple-faced little shit

with 20 earrings and zero manners

and she's going to proceed to tell you how much she loves him

because he reminds her so much of you.

Now, this, my friend,

will be one of the worst moments of your life.

And boys are worse.

You see, the moment your son is born,

it is inevitable that he will be responsible

for the most depressing day of your life.

That's the day that that son of yours

brings home a girl that you're attracted to.

The whole process is so unnatural.

I mean, there's doctors and nurses and technicians.

Yeah, I've never been comfortable with group sex.

I just got to stop worrying about it

and think about the big picture, you know?

I got to pee before I drive across that bridge.

I don't know how I'm going to pay for it.

I mean, the woman says it could be a half dozen times

till we're successful.

I can barely cover the first round

of fertilization.

After that, we're over at your house

borrowing your and Julie's turkey baster.

Just think Seattle.

What about Seattle?

Old building,

Lindsay Hamilton,

big payday.

She's been after you

for weeks to take that job.

Now, see, there's something very...

very dangerous, I think,

about Lindsay Hamilton and Seattle.

Oh, don't flatter yourself.

Me and Lindsay Hamilton...

that would be dangerous.

You got a little bit on your boot there.

Have you really tried group sex?

Eh, only if you count two hands.

Lazy...

fucking...

...swimmers.

Mmm.

Hi.

I'm glad you're home.

Promise me something.

Huh?

Anything.

When we finally have a baby,

it'll have a smile like yours.

Love you.

Okay...

Almost there.

Yeah.

Tell me I'm better in bed than this thing.

Oh, there's no comparison, hon.

Oh.

Now you may feel this a little bit.

Oh.

Just relax.

Oh.

Now, relax.

Relax.

Can you feel it cold?

All right, almost done.

Almost done.

All right.

We're finished.

Wasn't so bad, really.

Now what?

Now,

we wait and see if the pregnancy hold.

In the meanwhile,

don't let this thing run your life.

- No. - No.

Mm-mm.

Hi, John.

It's Richard.

Listen, I want you to check

on that little shop on California

that we talked about.

It's busy, yeah.

Okay, listen, you just got to relax a little bit now.

I mean, this is just a very preliminary meeting.

They just want to talk to us about the formula.

Just kind of get to know us a little bit,

that sort of thing.

It's no big deal.

Mm-hmm. If it's so casual,

why did they call three times to confirm?

All right.

Let me just do a little.

Okay, good.

Okay. Let's just...

Let's just... come on.

All right? All right?

Better.

Just a casual, get-to-know-you chat, huh?

Well, maybe it's not our meeting.

Ladies.

Welcome.

I'm Richard Halstrom.

You must be Ms. Tellen.

Oh, well, that's right.

Hi. And you must be Mrs. Robertson.

Yes. Hello.

Please, come.

I've asked our executive committee to join us,

just in case the conversation gets serious.

Oh, God, this is our meeting.

Everyone, I'd like you to meet Mrs. Robertson,

and Ms. Tellen.

- Hi. - Hi.

Right this way.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Hi.

Please, sit down.

- Us. - Okay.

I hope it wasn't too much of an inconvenience

for you to come on such short notice.

No.

No.

Not at all.

We've been watching your little shop

for quite some time.

What you've done down there is very impressive.

We're particularly impressed with

that new perfume of yours.

What do you call it?

Seventh Scent.

Ah...

that's a wonderful name.

Great for marketing.

Well...

the reason we've asked you here today is simple:

We'd like to buy Seventh Scent.

No kidding.

I have taken the liberty of drawing up a term sheet

that I think you'll find quite attractive.

Please.

This is a very interesting first offer.

That is quite a bit more

than a first offer, Mrs. Robertson.

Well, then, I guess you won't be needing

your executive

committee this afternoon.

Thank you.

Come on.

Oh, no, put that away.

We won't be needing that,

we're way too far apart

to be able to make this deal.

Are you sure? They're really nice.

Put it down.

Wait a minute, what happened in there?

Did your contract say $100,000?

Because I know that's what my contract said.

Hold on... did you see the people around that table?

Believe me, if they'll pay us $100,000 today,

they'll pay us $200,000 next week

and give us profit participation.

Crowded.

Sorry.

Floor...?

Are you sure?

Pretty sure.

Oh, God.

You don't exactly inspire confidence

as my elevator expert.

Well, they told me you're on five and a half, so.

I was actually looking for you.

Oh, the first good news I've had all day.

Yeah, I was, uh, thinking I might be able

to squeeze that job in up in Seattle.

But I'll need more money.

Ten percent more.

Done.

We should go up there right away

for you to look at the building.

Uh, sooner the better.

Yeah, I actually would like to go up there alone.

It's kind of my style.

I like to see a building by myself the first time.

You know, kind of get a, um,

feel for the place, see if I...

connect with the building, that sort of thing.

Connect with the building.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Let me know when you want to go.

I'll have my office make the arrangements.

Sounds great. Thanks.

You're never going to believe what happened.

Hey, I got some great news

- at work today. - Okay.

- I'm sorry, you go first. - You go first.

No, you.

- You sure? - Yeah.

Uh, I... I think I have a way to pay for the, uh...

...clinic bills.

- Really? How? - Yeah.

The architect on this job

offered me a building up in Seattle.

It starts before this one finishes,

and I saved them some money so I gave them a rate...

I'd, uh...

...I'd go up in the next

uh, you know...

week or so, and if everything pans out,

our financial problems are solved.

Well, that's great, honey. Thank you.

Yeah.

It was... what happened to you?

Oh, well, uh, today,

- at the shop... - Yeah...

...we sold 100 bottles of Seventh Scent.

It was out first hundred-bottle day.

100 bottles, that-that stuff,

it's-it's starting to take off.

Yeah, it really is.

Dinner is almost ready.

I know you're anxious, so I'll get right to it.

We did not succeed the first try.

I know you're disappointed.

We should try again right away.

Jennifer, I'm going to prescribe a fertility drug for you.

I thought

we were going to concentrate on the in-vitro.

We are,

but there's always a chance

that you might get pregnant the conventional way.

You're still practicing

the conventional method, aren't you?

Uh...

- Yeah. Of course. - Yes.

Yes, we are.

We're conventional about every night of the week,

I think.

Good.

I'm going to write that prescription,

and Danny, I need you to check in with Nurse Wheeler.

We need another sample.

Go, stud.

You might want to check out that new video,

Romancing the Bone,

Danny? Danny, the clinic just called.

They said you're late for your appointment.

Damn it.

I got to go.

If I'm not back in 45 minutes,

send help.

You've only got five minutes.

What?

I'm locking up at 6:00 sharp.

You're not the last man I'm seeing tonight.

Should I just meet you down at the nurse's station?

I'll be right here.

30-second warning.

Well, maybe we should take

a couple of months off,

kind of chill out and then try again.

Remember, this may take a couple of visits.

It doesn't always work

the first time.

Now don't say that.

You know important it is for us to think positive.

Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

Yeah, smile.

Now, d-don't-don't do that.

Don't... don't do that.

Billy, I've told you never to talk to strangers.

Unbelievable.

Cute kid, lady.

Well, I, uh,

need to get back to the shop.

Yeah, I should, uh, probably get back, too.

So, I'll see you tonight?

Yeah, yeah, I'll-I'll, uh...

Maybe I'll pick up some Chinese, or...

Sure. That'd be great.

Yeah.

So I'll see you then.

All right.

Bye.

Don't run too far ahead.

Okay!

Oh! Finally we can call it a day!

Gosh, success is hard work.

Hey... cheer up.

Everything's going to work out.

I hope so.

I'm just handling things so badly with Danny.

I just want so badly to be a mom.

You will be,

and you'll be a great mom.

I hope so.

I'm having trouble being a good wife.

I'm not sure I can handle both.

Well, it's a lot easier handling a two-year-old

than it is a husband.

I know because, of course, I've had neither...

...of them.

Aw...

Thanks for being such a great friend.

Aw...

It's perfect, as usual.

Well...

I want to thank you ladies

for accepting my lunch invitation.

I was a little worried

you might not be willing to accept,

because of our first encounter.

Well, we're always willing to discuss

a legitimate business opportunity, Mr. Halstrom.

We just didn't think your first offer was good enough.

You made quite an impression on the room.

None of us had ever been one-upped quite like you did it.

She was pretty great, wasn't she?

I mean, God, I would have taken the offer.

Well, as I'm sure Mrs. Robertson already knows,

it's a very good thing for you that you didn't.

I have an improved proposal to make.

This one I think you'll find worth reading.

We're prepared to pay each of you $250,000,

plus a very fair royalty

for every bottle sold in perpetuity.

Define "very fair royalty."

Uh, 17 and a half percent gross sales,

plus escalators and success.

And what about spin-off products

using the name?

Oh, you'd control the name,

but we handle all production

under the same terms.

And for products that you do not manufacture?

Well, we'll negotiate that deal together

and split the royalty

50-50.

And if we do not agree on the deal?

Uh, well...

we'll concede to your judgment.

What about additional fragrances

under the Seven Scent brand?

Uh, we, um...

we have to have them.

But I-I would agree that, uh, the royalty

will be slightly higher for new fragrances...

especially if they have similar side effects.

Well... I think this is something

our executive committee

would consider.

We'll take it under advisement immediately.

That's good news.

To two very beautiful women.

And to the scent

that will make them rich.

Oh!

Oh!

I'm so sorry.

Sorry.

Ms. Hamilton is running a few minutes late.

She'll join you shortly.

This is quite a place.

Thank you, sir.

Do you take those two-for-one dinner coupons?

Don't get up.

They loved you in Seattle.

I might be able to get you

a little more than that ten percent raise.

Well, thank you, uh... for this.

This was really, uh...

Dinner was great.

This was really nice.

Oh, no, thank you.

No, you've really been a savior to me.

I'm glad you finally let me take you out to dinner.

So...

Would, uh...

would you like some dessert?

Uh... you know, I...

Actually, I think I'm gonna have to, uh...

to-to pass.

It's ge... It's getting late.

Oh, are you sure?

Uh, oh, yeah. I'm sure.

The tiramisu, you know, is so good...

Yeah, I'll tell you what.

I'll send the dessert cart over for you, okay?

They pour the espresso on it...

Yes, yes! I gotta go.

It's really...

Gotta run.

Danny?

A little more this way!

Could be any Danny Robertson, for God's sakes.

Any Danny Robertson?

Any Danny Robertson.

Any Danny Robertson?

All right, look.

There's gotta be an explanation.

Maybe the doctor made a mistake with the bill.

A mistake?

I don't think so.

There was a...

graph charting my freezability levels.

Hey, look...

it doesn't make sense.

How in the world could she have you analyzed

even before you go to the fertility clinic?

And why?

I don't know why.

But I think I figured out how.

And even you don't want to hear this one.

All right, look.

Before you do something you'll regret, talk to her.

You and Jennifer are great together.

You don't want something stupid to happen

over a misunderstanding.

You boys gonna come out and play?

They're holding up the meeting for you.

Just coming.

This is a meeting about what?

How the elevator goes up, or how the elevator goes down?

Hey, Steve, can you, uh, can you cover for me?

There's somebody I need to have a little... talk with.

Yeah, sure.

Catch up with you guys

a little bit later, huh?

Okay.

Anything I can do to help?

No, I'm okay.

I meant with Danny.

I don't think so.

That's a little sexist, isn't it?

What?

The assumption that a woman

can't just be a friend to a man.

Oh, I'm sure if you wanted to, you could just be his friend,

but I'm just a little worried that's not all you want.

You know, when it comes to a woman like you...

we're all just boys.

My guys told me come back tomorrow morning.

7:00 a.m.

Is Danny meeting us there?

I haven't told him.

I know, I know.

I'm going to tell him soon.

It's just that he's been so down

about this business with the clinic,

and I think the only thing keeping him going

is that he's earning the money to pay for it.

I just don't want to take that away from him.

Good intentions, bad decision.

Come on. We better get going.

Richard will be here any minute.

What are you doing?

Uh, no big deal. Just going to Seattle

for a couple of days.

I could go with you.

Huh.

No.

It would be better if you didn't.

I should have told you about the shop.

Do you realize

that in all the time I've known you,

I've never once thought about the idea of you lying to me?

Ever.

I'm sorry, Danny.

I see.

Truth's a hard thing to hide, isn't it, Jennifer?

I'm sorry, I'm probably confusing you, right?

Did I mention that I found Dr. Felber's bill

for my test that you never even told me about?

I didn't mention that, did I?

First my potency, now my memory.

You didn't have to lie to me, Jennifer.

I love you enough to handle the truth...

whatever it is.

When will you be back?

When you're ready.

We are now boarding.

TWA flight 514 to San Diego.

Is everything okay?

You seem a little distracted.

No, I'm fine.

Okay. Do you mind holding my boarding pass?

I'm just going to run to the ladies' room.

Sure.

Hi.

I'm glad

I caught you before you left.

Jennifer, what are you doing here?

Well, I wanted to say good-bye.

I wanted to wish you luck.

Thank you.

I've done a lot of thinking since you left.

You're right.

You can handle the truth.

And I've missed you.

I missed you, too.

I'm back.

Jennifer, this is, uh, Lindsay Hamilton,

the... the architect.

Lindsay, this is...

- Jennifer. - The wife.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Uh, Danny's told me so much about you.

Really?

He's told me nothing about you.

May I have your attention, please?

TWA's flight 611 to Seattle

is now ready for passenger boarding.

Please have your boarding pass out and ready

for the flight attendant as you enter the aircraft.

I'm going to go ahead and board.

Um... take your time saying good-bye.

It was very nice to meet you.

You son of a bitch.

What?

Is there really even a building in Seattle?

Oh, God, are you...

Are you suggesting I made all this up?

To get on an airplane with some leggy architect... yeah,

that's what I'm suggesting.

Oh, just because you've been such a wonderful liar doesn't

mean it comes so naturally to everyone, all right?

This is the final boarding call for TWA flight 611 to Seattle.

Everyone must be on board now.

Have a good flight.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

So the outside still out there?

You've been staring out there like you're lost.

You ever been to Washington before?

So I'm going to head out to the job site this afternoon.

You sure you don't want to come?

Oh, no, I have a few things I need to do here first.

I'll check you in and leave your key

in an envelope at the front desk,

okay? See you in a while.

Hello?

Oh, hi. I didn't hear you come in.

I went ahead

and ordered something for us.

It always seems to take room service

so long to get here,

even in a hotel like this.

I thought you might be hungry after a long day.

So what... how long were they... were they there?

Um, they were there for a little while.

Said hello, shook my hand and, uh...

Surprised to see you, though.

Almost as surprised as maybe you were.

I think.

I'm a little uncomfortable with this.

Well, I've decided that we shouldn't be nervous anymore.

I'm married.

Doesn't look like things have been going that well.

Is it still sore?

You're not going to leave before dessert again, are you?

I don't think anybody's going anywhere in this weather.

Would it surprise you to learn

that I actually planned this storm so we'd get stranded here?

You're used to getting your way, aren't you?

My way is usually the best way.

Seattle information, please.

Hello?

Hello, is-is Danny Robertson there?

Um... yes, uh, but he's in the shower right now.

Can I take a message for him?

Is this Lindsay, the, uh, architect?

Yes, it is.

Uh, who is this?

This is Jennifer, the... the wife

and-and that would be great

if you could take a message for me.

Why don't you tell Danny that he can come home anytime

because I'll be out of the house this afternoon.

- Thank you. - Jennifer, listen...

Did I hear the phone?

Yes.

You didn't answer it, did you?

I'm sorry. I was asleep.

I wasn't thinking.

How much?

That'll be $47.50.

Aren't you guys regulated?

Hey, I told you not to come out here in the first place.

Only an idiot would fly on a day like today.

That's $50.

Can you help me with my bag?

Sure.

Attention, all passengers,

flight 472 to Sacramento has been canceled

due to bad weather.

Haven't quite seen a storm like this before, have you?

You wouldn't have any flights to San Francisco, would you?

Welcome to Econo Air.

I'm Kathi... with an "I."

And of course we do.

We have a flight leaving for San Francisco in 30 minutes.

Great.

In fact, we have flights

between Seattle and the City by the Bay

every hour on the hour, seven days a week.

At Econo Air, we pledge

to make your San Francisco experience

something you'll never forget.

That... that's terrific. Here you go.

We only accept cash.

Okay.

How much?

That'll be $103.11.

A hundred... and three.

And, uh...

can I... owe you a penny?

There. Keep it.

I need to check one bag.

Oh, you'll load that yourself, on the plane.

Excuse me, you want to take my ticket?

Welcome to Econo Air.

I'm Kathi...

With an "I."

How did you know that?

Do I know you?

Ma'am, I need to get through.

I could give a rat's ass.

Jennifer?

Honey, are you there?

Jennifer?

Jennifer?

Jennifer...

if you're there, pick it up.

Aha.

Hello, Martha.

Hello, Daniel.

No, she's not here.

I know.

Well, I've been expecting you.

Come on in.

There's coffee in the living room.

I'll go get us a treat.

Play that funky music, white boy.

If that wasn't a photo op,

there was never one.

Well...

All right.

I'm ready.

Ready for what?

For your confession.

I'm sorry, what is it that I'm confessing?

Oh, to your tawdry affair.

My tawdry affair?

Come on, Daniel.

If I'm going to be at all helpful

in straightening out this mess,

I have to know everything.

Every...

sordid little detail.

Okay?

We should talk.

Now, what could we possibly have to talk about?

The truth, for starters.

Okay, yes, I did go up to Seattle

with Lindsay Hamilton.

But it was business.

She's an architect.

Mm-hmm.

And a very beautiful one, I understand.

So lucky for you.

Must have made going back to the drawing board

much less of a chore, huh?

Martha, we were working on a building.

But what were you building in the hotel suite?

I didn't say I wasn't trying to seduce him.

Listen... I pulled out all the stops.

Champagne, strawberries,

candlelight dinner.

Didn't work.

It was a... very humbling experience.

And I don't do humble very well.

Why didn't Danny tell me this?

It's your daughter who's having an affair

with some cosmetics guru.

My daughter is not having an affair.

My God.

Why would she do that

when sex with you is so fantastic?

She talks to you about our sex life?

Constantly.

Who do you think suggested Candlestick Park?

Her father and I scored there many times.

Martha, I don't think I want to hear about this.

Yes, you do.

You should call her, you know.

She told me not to.

Since when has that stopped you from anything?

I'm just not sure I'm ready.

What's the problem?

Transformer blew up on 20

and I got the electrician up there.

Did you call the, uh, contractor?

Oh, he's on his way. He's mad as hell.

All right, I'm going to head down to the basement,

check out the transformer.

I'll see you on 28.

No. I don't want anything to do with sparks.

Sparks?!

Where's the fire?

It hasn't started yet.

I thought maybe you'd like something to eat

before taking on that loose connection.

Well, I think we'd better get right to that connection.

I'm so sorry, Danny.

I'll never lie to you again.

Not even a little white one.

You won't have to.

I promise.

Listen, I want to be a dad, Jennifer.

I'll back to that... clinic.

Is Nurse Wheeler still working there?

Well, I was thinking maybe we'd forget

about the clinic for awhile.

Maybe we just concentrate on...

conventional.

Lazy swimmers...

I plan on taking over their coaching personally.

Well, I like the sound of that.

There's just one more thing.

Anything.

The smile, it has to be yours.

I don't know.

I was thinking after we figure all of this out,

maybe we'll just have one of each.