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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,908 --> 00:00:16,233 sync and correction by Caio www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,942 Fundamentally, the Families First bill 3 00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:23,011 will help our most vulnerable kids, 4 00:00:23,046 --> 00:00:26,081 like the little boy in Seattle who asked Santa 5 00:00:26,115 --> 00:00:29,618 to teach him how to read for Christmas. 6 00:00:29,652 --> 00:00:31,153 How did he write the note? 7 00:00:31,187 --> 00:00:34,523 Or the little girl down in Pine Hill, Alabama. 8 00:00:34,557 --> 00:00:37,759 She's HIV positive via breast milk, 9 00:00:37,794 --> 00:00:41,430 but who still dreams of becoming a ballerina. 10 00:00:41,464 --> 00:00:43,131 Well, they do need to stay thin. 11 00:00:43,166 --> 00:00:45,701 - And why shouldn't they? - What? They do. 12 00:00:45,735 --> 00:00:49,471 We want to give all kids a reason to dance, you know? 13 00:00:53,643 --> 00:00:55,143 - Sir. - Yes? 14 00:00:55,178 --> 00:00:56,612 - The HIV girl. - Yes? 15 00:00:56,646 --> 00:00:58,280 The one that the president mentioned in the CBS interview. 16 00:00:58,314 --> 00:00:59,882 - Yes? - All right, well, some people on Reddit 17 00:00:59,916 --> 00:01:02,451 put the details together, now the whole town knows who she is. 18 00:01:02,485 --> 00:01:03,752 Fuck! 19 00:01:03,786 --> 00:01:05,821 I preferred the Internet when it was just AltaVista 20 00:01:05,889 --> 00:01:07,656 and that little Star Wars kid. 21 00:01:07,690 --> 00:01:09,558 - Did we definitely out this girl? - Yeah. 22 00:01:09,626 --> 00:01:11,827 - Shit. - Only her doctor and her principal knew. 23 00:01:11,861 --> 00:01:13,495 Now parents are keeping their kids home from school 24 00:01:13,530 --> 00:01:15,264 'cause they don't want them to, quote, "catch AIDS." 25 00:01:15,298 --> 00:01:17,299 Well, there's a town with no Gay Pride parade 26 00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:19,134 or a goddamn library. 27 00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:21,503 Where did this data come from? How did we get her medical records? 28 00:01:21,538 --> 00:01:23,238 And why didn't we ask her parents' permission? 29 00:01:23,273 --> 00:01:24,540 Oh, thank you, Question Man. 30 00:01:24,574 --> 00:01:26,808 You just saved the entire city. Or did you? 31 00:01:26,843 --> 00:01:28,911 This is catching fire like a gas station 32 00:01:28,945 --> 00:01:30,445 - in a Michael Bay movie. - Yeah. 33 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,514 - What's our line here? - Do we tell the president? 34 00:01:32,549 --> 00:01:33,815 - No. - No? 35 00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:35,417 No, she's gonna panic. 36 00:01:35,451 --> 00:01:37,386 We got to find out more facts, all right? 37 00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:40,756 - Bozos, disassemble. - All right. 38 00:01:40,790 --> 00:01:43,592 I always feel like the ruching on this one really accentuates your figure. 39 00:01:43,626 --> 00:01:45,594 Okay, you're right. Let's go with that. 40 00:01:45,628 --> 00:01:47,062 Okay, I'll have the valet lay this out for you. 41 00:01:47,096 --> 00:01:49,398 - No, you can do it. - Oh. 42 00:01:49,432 --> 00:01:51,400 - Reminds me of an easier time, you know? - Right. 43 00:01:51,434 --> 00:01:54,536 Or a time whose problems I've suppressed. 44 00:01:54,571 --> 00:01:55,904 Right. 45 00:01:55,939 --> 00:01:58,073 Oh, there's my favorite slice of fun. 46 00:01:58,107 --> 00:01:59,875 Look at this. 47 00:01:59,909 --> 00:02:02,077 What is this? 48 00:02:03,379 --> 00:02:05,180 Catherine, you are smoking? 49 00:02:05,214 --> 00:02:07,549 I'm vaping. That's not the point. 50 00:02:07,584 --> 00:02:08,984 This has been happening every week. 51 00:02:09,018 --> 00:02:11,053 My private life should be off-limits. 52 00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:13,388 I see that you are still seeing Jason. 53 00:02:13,423 --> 00:02:15,824 He photographs well for his age. 54 00:02:15,858 --> 00:02:18,393 Ma'am, the Apple Growers Association 55 00:02:18,428 --> 00:02:20,028 would like to name a new brand of apple after you. 56 00:02:20,063 --> 00:02:21,463 Is it a good apple? 57 00:02:21,497 --> 00:02:23,231 - It's a baking apple. - Fuck 'em. 58 00:02:23,266 --> 00:02:26,401 Oh, and Bill Ericsson wants to see you before you leave about Catherine. 59 00:02:26,436 --> 00:02:29,037 - The smoking photograph. - Vaping. 60 00:02:29,072 --> 00:02:31,540 Actually, there is a Photoshopped image in the "Post" 61 00:02:31,574 --> 00:02:34,810 of what you and Catherine might look like if you had eight years in power. 62 00:02:36,212 --> 00:02:38,046 Oh, my God, I look like Grandpa. 63 00:02:38,081 --> 00:02:40,182 What? 64 00:02:40,216 --> 00:02:42,351 What did they do to my nose? 65 00:02:42,385 --> 00:02:44,486 - Mom, what about me? - Huh? 66 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,990 Yeah, I know. This is so disrespectful. 67 00:02:48,024 --> 00:02:49,858 Where is Mike? Is he still doing his gaggle? 68 00:02:49,892 --> 00:02:51,760 - Yes, he's gaggling, ma'am. - All right. 69 00:02:51,794 --> 00:02:53,595 Will the president be commenting 70 00:02:53,630 --> 00:02:55,764 on this breaking story about little Jennifer Graham? 71 00:02:55,798 --> 00:02:57,566 Uh, yes. 72 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,636 We will very soon have a statement on that. 73 00:03:00,670 --> 00:03:03,372 The White House released the girl's private information. 74 00:03:03,406 --> 00:03:04,906 Where did this confidential data come from? 75 00:03:04,941 --> 00:03:08,543 I know that the president confirmed that she does have HIV. 76 00:03:08,578 --> 00:03:11,279 And... the girl, that is, has HIV. 77 00:03:11,314 --> 00:03:14,716 But the provenance of that data has yet to be determined. 78 00:03:14,751 --> 00:03:17,819 - Ma'am, Mike is just... - Yeah, I know, he's fluffing the hacks. 79 00:03:17,854 --> 00:03:20,155 - Ma'am, this isn't a good time. - Hi, everybody. 80 00:03:20,189 --> 00:03:23,492 Is Mike sharing his donut holes with y'all? 81 00:03:25,762 --> 00:03:28,330 And, Lyle, I hope that you're gonna bring 82 00:03:28,364 --> 00:03:30,399 your daughter to the Easter egg roll. 83 00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:33,101 Oh, thank you for remembering I have a daughter, ma'am. 84 00:03:33,136 --> 00:03:34,369 Oh, of course, yeah. 85 00:03:34,404 --> 00:03:35,904 - And also my name. - Yes. 86 00:03:35,938 --> 00:03:38,473 - It's Lyle. - It's Lyle and it's my pleasure. 87 00:03:38,508 --> 00:03:39,941 Hey, you know, speaking of daughters, 88 00:03:39,976 --> 00:03:42,144 I just wanted to mention Catherine. 89 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,012 I know that she's the First Daughter, 90 00:03:44,047 --> 00:03:47,282 but I would be very grateful if you guys 91 00:03:47,316 --> 00:03:51,386 would just give her a little bit of space in her private life. 92 00:03:51,421 --> 00:03:53,188 I mean, you know, I'm the rock star. 93 00:03:53,222 --> 00:03:55,390 She's not the rock star. 94 00:03:55,425 --> 00:03:57,592 So, thanks, I appreciate it. Great to see everybody. 95 00:03:57,627 --> 00:04:00,529 With respect, ma'am, do you think those same privacies 96 00:04:00,563 --> 00:04:03,598 should be given to an eight-year-old girl with HIV? 97 00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:06,034 Um, well... 98 00:04:06,069 --> 00:04:09,071 HIV is a terrible burden 99 00:04:09,105 --> 00:04:13,508 and I'm very happy to be helping families who are affected by it. 100 00:04:13,543 --> 00:04:15,177 That is off the record. 101 00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:17,713 Okay, this briefing is over. 102 00:04:17,747 --> 00:04:20,382 Nice to see you guys. I'll see you at the Easter egg roll. 103 00:04:20,416 --> 00:04:23,652 - My... my friend, yes. - Lyle. 104 00:04:24,921 --> 00:04:26,822 What the hell? 105 00:04:26,856 --> 00:04:28,523 Where did HIV come from? 106 00:04:28,558 --> 00:04:31,126 I think some guy fucked a monkey. 107 00:04:32,462 --> 00:04:34,396 Jesus Christ! 108 00:04:34,430 --> 00:04:36,131 Why didn't you warn me about that, Mike? 109 00:04:36,165 --> 00:04:38,633 Ma'am, I tried to right when you came in. 110 00:04:38,668 --> 00:04:40,902 - No, you didn't. - You're right, I didn't. 111 00:04:40,937 --> 00:04:42,738 - I should have. - That's right. 112 00:04:42,772 --> 00:04:44,873 - You were right, ma'am. - Yeah, no, you didn't warn me at all. 113 00:04:44,907 --> 00:04:47,142 What the fuck is happening? 114 00:04:47,176 --> 00:04:48,610 It's a data breach. 115 00:04:48,644 --> 00:04:51,079 Medical, Social Security records were hacked 116 00:04:51,114 --> 00:04:54,750 by someone working for us and then put into the Families First press pack. 117 00:04:54,784 --> 00:04:57,018 That's not just a breach. That's a data rupture. 118 00:04:57,053 --> 00:04:59,321 All of these words are meaningless to me. 119 00:04:59,355 --> 00:05:02,090 Here's what we're gonna do. It's an outrageous idea. 120 00:05:02,125 --> 00:05:05,060 Let's find the person who's responsible and let's fire them. 121 00:05:05,094 --> 00:05:07,629 Ma'am, there's so much data fluidity on this project, 122 00:05:07,663 --> 00:05:08,997 the culprit will be hard to pin down. 123 00:05:09,031 --> 00:05:10,565 Well, the press doesn't need the culprit. 124 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,300 The press needs a culprit. 125 00:05:12,335 --> 00:05:14,236 You know, there are hordes of young women 126 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,138 who roam the halls of the West Wing. 127 00:05:16,172 --> 00:05:18,273 - Yes? - 15% of them were hired to be fired. 128 00:05:18,307 --> 00:05:20,308 Yeah. We call them the Expendabelles. 129 00:05:20,343 --> 00:05:21,943 That's not funny, boys. 130 00:05:21,978 --> 00:05:25,247 - No. - Okay, Dan, go sacrifice a virgin. 131 00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:26,715 Just another Saturday night. 132 00:05:26,749 --> 00:05:29,951 - That's not funny, Amy. - What? Why not? 133 00:05:31,988 --> 00:05:34,956 Hey, Egan, is somebody gonna get fired over this AIDSnami? 134 00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:36,792 Oh, yeah. And I'm in charge 135 00:05:36,826 --> 00:05:39,127 Hey, of the canning, Jonah. na get fl'm the Dan who can. ami? 136 00:05:39,162 --> 00:05:42,631 Okay, well, I was only involved in the Families First bill via you, so... 137 00:05:42,665 --> 00:05:45,033 What about your side dick here? You tell him stuff? 138 00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:47,803 Oh, God, yes. He was more involved than I was. 139 00:05:47,837 --> 00:05:49,237 He was up to his thighs in it. 140 00:05:49,272 --> 00:05:51,273 I don't think I was, sir. 141 00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:53,108 How's the view from down there, you snake? 142 00:05:53,142 --> 00:05:56,077 - It's harsh. - Oh, harsh? We need to be a unified front. 143 00:05:56,112 --> 00:05:59,080 Uh, what are you guys doing right now? 144 00:05:59,115 --> 00:06:01,950 We're working on the veep's walk-on music for tonight. 145 00:06:01,984 --> 00:06:05,587 - The Police. - Law and order mixed with very mild reggae. 146 00:06:05,621 --> 00:06:07,122 It's like a comforting balance. 147 00:06:07,156 --> 00:06:09,925 Hey, Jonah, how would you like to be a little more involved tonight? 148 00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:12,594 Supervise the balloons, the streamers, the fireworks? 149 00:06:12,628 --> 00:06:13,662 - All right. - Yeah? 150 00:06:13,696 --> 00:06:14,996 You know I got an eye for that. 151 00:06:15,031 --> 00:06:16,398 That's why I'm such a good photographer. 152 00:06:16,432 --> 00:06:18,867 - Absolutely. Yeah. - And I love fireworks. 153 00:06:18,901 --> 00:06:21,603 The noise, the lights. 154 00:06:22,772 --> 00:06:25,040 Mostly those aspects. 155 00:06:25,074 --> 00:06:26,808 All right, look, I'm gonna text you about this later. 156 00:06:26,843 --> 00:06:29,878 Right now I've gotta go. This goat's not gonna scape itself. 157 00:06:29,912 --> 00:06:32,013 I feel persecuted. 158 00:06:32,048 --> 00:06:34,249 I'm just waiting for the press to throw me in a pond 159 00:06:34,283 --> 00:06:35,483 to see if I'll float. 160 00:06:35,518 --> 00:06:37,519 Honeymoon's over, isn't it? 161 00:06:37,553 --> 00:06:40,121 It was kind of a shitty honeymoon, too. 162 00:06:40,156 --> 00:06:42,257 Just like my actual honeymoon with Daddy. 163 00:06:42,291 --> 00:06:43,859 I know, Mom. 164 00:06:43,893 --> 00:06:46,895 "The Onion" did a parody of that photo in the "Post." 165 00:06:46,929 --> 00:06:48,930 Oh, really? I like "The Onion." 166 00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:50,799 What you'll look like when you're leaving office, 167 00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:53,201 except you look exactly like you do now. 168 00:06:53,236 --> 00:06:55,237 Okay. 169 00:06:55,271 --> 00:06:57,272 They think you'll only be president for a few months. 170 00:06:57,306 --> 00:07:00,308 - That's the joke. - No, no, I get it, yeah. 171 00:07:00,343 --> 00:07:03,078 That's funny. That's funny stuff. 172 00:07:03,112 --> 00:07:05,247 My girl's had her life ruined. 173 00:07:05,281 --> 00:07:07,749 How did the president find out about her information? 174 00:07:07,783 --> 00:07:09,517 This thing has gotten way too big. 175 00:07:09,552 --> 00:07:11,519 It's like my mom's cat. 176 00:07:11,554 --> 00:07:13,688 The president is just trying to help children. 177 00:07:13,723 --> 00:07:17,459 I don't understand why everyone keeps focusing on the negative, you know? 178 00:07:17,493 --> 00:07:19,861 Maybe because, Gary, we ruined a girl's life. 179 00:07:19,896 --> 00:07:21,129 Negative, negative, negative. 180 00:07:21,163 --> 00:07:23,465 Mike, the National Parents Group 181 00:07:23,499 --> 00:07:27,168 cut the cord on supporting Families First at next week's press event. 182 00:07:27,203 --> 00:07:28,570 Great, now parents hate us. 183 00:07:28,604 --> 00:07:30,639 Oh, God, welcome to my childhood. 184 00:07:30,673 --> 00:07:32,440 And adulthood, actually. 185 00:07:32,475 --> 00:07:33,875 We need to shut the story down. 186 00:07:33,910 --> 00:07:35,977 I'm aware of that. Thank you, Sue. 187 00:07:36,012 --> 00:07:37,145 Well, why haven't you shut it down? 188 00:07:37,179 --> 00:07:39,047 If you see a fire, do you look at the fire 189 00:07:39,081 --> 00:07:42,417 and put it out or do you just say, "I'm aware of it"? 190 00:07:42,485 --> 00:07:45,186 Sue cannot tell me how to do my job. 191 00:07:45,221 --> 00:07:46,988 She just did. 192 00:07:47,990 --> 00:07:49,958 Oh, I bet this baby 193 00:07:49,992 --> 00:07:52,093 could sure spill a lot of glitter, am I right? 194 00:07:52,128 --> 00:07:53,528 Put it down. 195 00:07:53,562 --> 00:07:55,397 That thing goes off in your face, 196 00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,399 the surgeon will be tweezering tiny shamrocks 197 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,134 out of your eye jelly for a week. 198 00:07:59,168 --> 00:08:00,936 Hello, sir. Jonah Ryan. 199 00:08:00,970 --> 00:08:02,871 Now, I cannot tell you who we represent, 200 00:08:02,905 --> 00:08:05,740 but let's just go so far as to say that my boss is a powerful guy, 201 00:08:05,775 --> 00:08:07,509 and his boss, I cannot stress her power... 202 00:08:07,543 --> 00:08:09,144 I get it. He's VP Doyle, 203 00:08:09,178 --> 00:08:11,246 she's temporary President Meyer. 204 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,214 You think confetti and a disco ball's 205 00:08:13,249 --> 00:08:14,983 gonna keep those clowns in the White House? 206 00:08:15,017 --> 00:08:18,253 Well, sir, if you would like us to take our business elsewhere... 207 00:08:18,287 --> 00:08:20,588 Grow up, huh? I do anyone. 208 00:08:20,623 --> 00:08:23,425 I did balloons for Jerry Ford in '76. 209 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:25,627 Met him. Asshole. 210 00:08:25,661 --> 00:08:28,163 So what can you organize for us? 211 00:08:28,197 --> 00:08:30,966 - There's the Presidential. - Oh, that sounds perfect. 212 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,335 That's bottom of the range. You don't want that. 213 00:08:33,369 --> 00:08:36,404 I just named it Presidential because of that asshole Ford. 214 00:08:36,439 --> 00:08:38,440 We've been told to really go to town. 215 00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:41,509 Well, then you want the Star-Spangled Banger. 216 00:08:41,544 --> 00:08:43,878 Or Red, White, and Whoo-hoo. 217 00:08:43,913 --> 00:08:46,982 Now, will we have some sort of creative control over the music? 218 00:08:47,016 --> 00:08:49,351 I don't give a shit, son. I still get paid. 219 00:08:49,385 --> 00:08:51,152 Let me show you what we got. 220 00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:58,393 - There she is. - Hey. 221 00:08:58,427 --> 00:09:00,328 - Hey, I'm excited. - Okay. Good. 222 00:09:00,363 --> 00:09:01,796 I'll warm them up for you. 223 00:09:01,831 --> 00:09:03,264 Question is, how hot do you want them? 224 00:09:03,299 --> 00:09:05,900 - Red hot. - Gonna do the snail joke, right? 225 00:09:05,935 --> 00:09:08,136 That's your trademark joke. Signature joke. 226 00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:10,038 Yeah, you don't have to do the snail joke. 227 00:09:10,072 --> 00:09:11,439 It's so funny. 228 00:09:11,474 --> 00:09:13,441 Uh, Andrew, listen. Let me ask you something. 229 00:09:13,476 --> 00:09:15,810 Do you think this HIV girl thing is killing us or what? 230 00:09:15,845 --> 00:09:17,746 No, no, no. You're gonna be fine. 231 00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:20,782 Look, the news moves so quickly, we'll have a new iPhone 232 00:09:20,816 --> 00:09:23,518 or the Chinese will be in Chicago. 233 00:09:27,456 --> 00:09:29,991 - Amy, can I talk to you a sec? - Sure. 234 00:09:31,594 --> 00:09:34,295 Doyle's using "Every Breath You Take" for his walk-on music. 235 00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:36,664 He loves that song. He got married to it both times. 236 00:09:36,699 --> 00:09:38,600 Every line ends with "I'll be watching you." 237 00:09:38,634 --> 00:09:40,135 Sting might as well be singing 238 00:09:40,169 --> 00:09:43,505 "I'll access your medical data" in a fake Jamaican accent. 239 00:09:46,275 --> 00:09:48,343 You having fun? 240 00:09:48,377 --> 00:09:49,911 Yes, ma'am. 241 00:09:49,945 --> 00:09:51,946 - But also working hard. - Mm-hmm. 242 00:09:51,981 --> 00:09:54,215 - Thank you for asking. - It's Chloe? 243 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:55,884 - It's Ellie. - Lee. 244 00:09:55,918 --> 00:09:57,485 - Lee. - Lee? 245 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,287 - Lee. - Ah. 246 00:09:59,321 --> 00:10:00,655 You can't change the music. 247 00:10:00,689 --> 00:10:02,357 It's all cued up with the light show. 248 00:10:02,391 --> 00:10:04,559 Fuck the light show, Jonah, okay? 249 00:10:04,593 --> 00:10:06,728 He's the vice president, not the new Lexus. 250 00:10:06,762 --> 00:10:08,496 - Fuck the light show? - Yeah, fuck it. 251 00:10:08,531 --> 00:10:11,266 Be careful, Mr. Ryan. It burns your hand even through the corrugated sleeve. 252 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,435 - Can you do this? - Is there a way to change 253 00:10:13,469 --> 00:10:15,370 Doyle's music without screwing up the lights? 254 00:10:15,404 --> 00:10:17,038 - Oh, absolutely. - Great. 255 00:10:17,073 --> 00:10:19,307 Well, I'm not sure, but positivity is the first step. 256 00:10:19,341 --> 00:10:20,542 - Love it. - Change it to what? 257 00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,210 - Doesn't matter. - I honestly have no idea. 258 00:10:22,244 --> 00:10:23,611 What do you have on your phone? 259 00:10:23,646 --> 00:10:25,046 Well, it's mostly self-help audio books 260 00:10:25,081 --> 00:10:27,749 and relaxation tapes. I'm quite an anxious man. 261 00:10:27,783 --> 00:10:29,884 Oh, you know what? I've got movie themes. 262 00:10:29,919 --> 00:10:31,453 I'll cue "Eye of the Tiger." 263 00:10:31,487 --> 00:10:34,589 Okay, guys, guys. "Eye of the Tiger"? 264 00:10:34,623 --> 00:10:36,591 Any controversial lyrics in that? 265 00:10:38,561 --> 00:10:40,995 - It's good. It's good. - Do it. Do it. 266 00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:44,232 Ladies and gentlemen, the Vice President of the United States. 267 00:10:44,266 --> 00:10:47,502 What the fuck? 268 00:10:47,536 --> 00:10:48,736 Uh-oh. - What? 269 00:10:48,771 --> 00:10:49,938 I don't know what's happened. 270 00:10:49,972 --> 00:10:51,473 You know, I usually use a Mac, 271 00:10:51,507 --> 00:10:53,208 so this is Windows 8's fault if anybody's. 272 00:10:53,242 --> 00:10:56,678 ♪ Every bond you break, every step you take... ♪ 273 00:10:56,712 --> 00:10:58,480 You know, the great Mark Twain, 274 00:10:58,514 --> 00:11:01,182 one of my dream dinner party guests 275 00:11:01,217 --> 00:11:03,585 in actual fact... 276 00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:05,386 once said that... 277 00:11:05,421 --> 00:11:07,822 Screwed over by the Police. 278 00:11:07,857 --> 00:11:09,257 I'm Rodney fucking King. 279 00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:11,392 Another blunder to undermine my campaign. 280 00:11:11,427 --> 00:11:14,195 It's not a blunder. It was an unfortunate mistake. 281 00:11:14,230 --> 00:11:16,998 Yes, the definition of a blunder, so... 282 00:11:17,032 --> 00:11:19,267 - Right. - Nobody listens to the words anyways. 283 00:11:19,301 --> 00:11:21,169 You know? I just dance. 284 00:11:21,203 --> 00:11:25,140 Twitter has it. ♪EveryLittleThing - SheDoeslsTragic. 285 00:11:25,174 --> 00:11:28,209 So without further delay, please welcome onto this stage... 286 00:11:28,244 --> 00:11:30,078 Go get 'em. 287 00:11:30,112 --> 00:11:32,247 The President of the United States. 288 00:11:37,253 --> 00:11:39,354 They loved it, ma'am. You were like a rock star. 289 00:11:39,388 --> 00:11:42,223 Not Sting. Kurt Cobain. Well, not him. 290 00:11:42,258 --> 00:11:45,160 It was my rally, okay? My supporters, of course. 291 00:11:45,194 --> 00:11:47,562 It's like getting a valentine from your own mom, you know? 292 00:11:47,596 --> 00:11:49,697 Ma'am, we're losing micro-donors. 293 00:11:49,732 --> 00:11:51,866 We'll be down to nano-donors. 294 00:11:51,901 --> 00:11:53,268 What do you mean, we're losing micro-donors? 295 00:11:53,302 --> 00:11:54,903 - We can't. That's our backbone. - Yes. 296 00:11:54,937 --> 00:11:56,971 They want to be removed from our database. 297 00:11:57,006 --> 00:11:58,673 They don't want us having their personal data. 298 00:11:58,707 --> 00:12:00,141 Madam President! Madam President! 299 00:12:00,176 --> 00:12:02,210 When are you gonna make a statement about Jennifer Graham? 300 00:12:02,244 --> 00:12:05,813 It's vital that these small-time nobodies realize we respect them, okay? 301 00:12:05,848 --> 00:12:08,816 Jennifer Graham's aunt says only an unfit mother 302 00:12:08,851 --> 00:12:11,085 would be immune to her niece's suffering. 303 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,054 Okay, I'm gonna have to answer that, all right? 304 00:12:13,088 --> 00:12:14,689 I'm gonna make a statement on camera. 305 00:12:14,723 --> 00:12:16,324 Do you think that's the best move, ma'am? 306 00:12:16,358 --> 00:12:18,826 The thing I just said that I should do? 307 00:12:18,861 --> 00:12:20,995 Do I think it's the thing I should do? 308 00:12:21,030 --> 00:12:22,730 Is that your question, Mike? 309 00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:26,801 We've decided to make a quick statement. 310 00:12:26,835 --> 00:12:30,305 Um, I just want to simply say 311 00:12:30,339 --> 00:12:33,074 that I had no knowledge of this data breach. 312 00:12:33,108 --> 00:12:36,644 But as president, I take full responsibility 313 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:38,012 because that's part of the job. 314 00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:43,618 I'm going to find out who's responsible 315 00:12:43,652 --> 00:12:46,387 and why it happened and how it happened. 316 00:12:46,422 --> 00:12:50,758 And lastly, I want to extend my apologies to Jennifer Graham 317 00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:53,494 and her entire fam... 318 00:12:55,531 --> 00:12:58,233 If that happened, it would be hugely damaging and enormously problematic. 319 00:12:58,267 --> 00:13:00,068 - Hi, Madam President. - Hi. 320 00:13:00,102 --> 00:13:02,737 - Ma'am, got us a scapegoat. - Oh. 321 00:13:02,771 --> 00:13:05,039 Girl in the writers' room for the joint sessions speech. 322 00:13:05,074 --> 00:13:08,076 She was also at the rally tonight. Sci-fi Sally something. 323 00:13:08,110 --> 00:13:09,344 - Ellie? - Chloe. 324 00:13:09,378 --> 00:13:10,345 Marie. Claire. 325 00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:11,813 - It's Lee. - Gary is right, 326 00:13:11,847 --> 00:13:14,282 her name is Lee and she is a fine staffer. 327 00:13:14,316 --> 00:13:16,884 Great on close reading and policy analysis. 328 00:13:16,919 --> 00:13:19,287 I see splashes of myself in her. 329 00:13:19,321 --> 00:13:20,955 I now regret that phrase. 330 00:13:20,990 --> 00:13:24,192 Ma'am, the American Family Group is pulling their support. 331 00:13:24,226 --> 00:13:25,360 - What? - Yeah. 332 00:13:25,394 --> 00:13:27,161 Where did you get that from? 333 00:13:27,196 --> 00:13:28,796 - An anonymous source. - Shit. 334 00:13:28,831 --> 00:13:31,566 Who's my sister-in-law who works for the American Family Group. 335 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,101 - Okay, Dan. - Yeah. 336 00:13:33,135 --> 00:13:34,102 Go fire Lee. 337 00:13:34,136 --> 00:13:35,503 Mike, announce a head is rolling. 338 00:13:35,537 --> 00:13:39,741 Okay, Ben, Amy, go fix this fireworks shit. 339 00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:41,643 - Gary, I need an energy bar. - Yeah. 340 00:13:41,677 --> 00:13:42,944 - No, apple. - Hmm. 341 00:13:42,978 --> 00:13:44,879 - No, fuck it, cheese. - Oh. 342 00:13:44,913 --> 00:13:48,283 - Uh, ma'am... - Look, Kent, I'm sorry, but Chloe's got to go. 343 00:13:48,317 --> 00:13:50,151 - It's not Chloe, it's Lee. - Okay. 344 00:13:50,185 --> 00:13:53,254 - And anyway, it's not Lee, it's Catherine. - What? 345 00:13:53,289 --> 00:13:56,658 She wants to work with an anti-bullying charity. 346 00:13:56,692 --> 00:13:58,192 What, is she nuts? 347 00:13:58,227 --> 00:14:01,596 I mean, it's gonna make it look like she thinks her mom bullied her. 348 00:14:01,630 --> 00:14:04,832 Well, I think she's calculating that this will make her more likable. 349 00:14:04,867 --> 00:14:06,768 Not with me, it fucking won't. 350 00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,403 Ma'am, cheese is on its way. 351 00:14:08,437 --> 00:14:10,138 Here's an interim banana. 352 00:14:14,009 --> 00:14:15,610 It doesn't even work. 353 00:14:15,644 --> 00:14:19,080 - So do I leave tomorrow? - You leave now. 354 00:14:19,114 --> 00:14:21,816 Unless you're on a tour, you will not be at the White House tomorrow. 355 00:14:21,850 --> 00:14:24,118 What if I cried? 356 00:14:24,153 --> 00:14:25,987 Like the women do in movies? 357 00:14:26,021 --> 00:14:27,622 Wouldn't work. You're talking to a guy 358 00:14:27,656 --> 00:14:30,658 who once broke off an engagement at an Applebee's, then ordered dessert. 359 00:14:34,063 --> 00:14:35,797 May I have your pass? 360 00:14:37,966 --> 00:14:41,102 It was a pleasure working with you... Lee. 361 00:14:45,574 --> 00:14:48,976 With more revelations in the Medileaks scandal emerging, 362 00:14:49,011 --> 00:14:50,011 who knew? 363 00:14:50,045 --> 00:14:51,412 Was there a cover-up? 364 00:14:51,447 --> 00:14:54,749 And if so, how far up the chain of command did it go? 365 00:14:54,783 --> 00:14:56,751 Ugh, it's working its way up my chain of command. 366 00:14:56,785 --> 00:14:58,319 I think it's reached my pancreas. 367 00:14:58,354 --> 00:15:00,988 Private medical details released by the White House 368 00:15:01,023 --> 00:15:03,891 have now identified five more children... 369 00:15:03,926 --> 00:15:06,861 Fittinthat for Easter this story refuses to fucking die. 370 00:15:06,895 --> 00:15:09,864 Is there no other news? Whatever happened to Ebola? I loved Ebola. 371 00:15:09,898 --> 00:15:12,433 So we threw someone off the life raft. 372 00:15:12,468 --> 00:15:14,369 Did no one think to tell the sharks? 373 00:15:14,403 --> 00:15:16,871 Ma'am, I don't think the girl was senior enough. 374 00:15:16,905 --> 00:15:19,407 We need to cut the throat of a bigger goat. 375 00:15:19,441 --> 00:15:21,309 So who's next for the guillotine? 376 00:15:21,343 --> 00:15:23,678 - Uh, Jonah Ryan. - Jonah? 377 00:15:23,712 --> 00:15:26,280 Yes, ma'am. I've been fattening him up for just this occasion. 378 00:15:26,315 --> 00:15:28,082 - What? - I got him a staff. 379 00:15:28,117 --> 00:15:29,584 And I got him involved in Families First. 380 00:15:29,618 --> 00:15:31,219 I even got him on the campaign. 381 00:15:31,253 --> 00:15:33,554 He's the one who did the fireworks and the music for last night. 382 00:15:33,589 --> 00:15:35,223 That was him? Off with his fat head. 383 00:15:35,257 --> 00:15:37,024 I can easily link him to the whole data breach thing. 384 00:15:37,059 --> 00:15:38,760 - It's like he has no sense of what's going on. - Excuse me. 385 00:15:38,794 --> 00:15:40,395 Did you know that Dan was in the middle of speaking? 386 00:15:40,429 --> 00:15:41,729 - Yeah, yeah. - Thank you. 387 00:15:41,764 --> 00:15:44,399 And plus he's got that whole inherently guilty look. 388 00:15:44,433 --> 00:15:46,834 You know, that kind of surprised masturbator face. 389 00:15:46,869 --> 00:15:49,404 - The... - Yeah, he does. 390 00:15:49,438 --> 00:15:52,673 Do it. Get rid of him. Throw him under a bus. 391 00:15:52,708 --> 00:15:54,809 If you can find one that's long enough. 392 00:15:57,479 --> 00:16:00,248 Hey, Egan, VP wants to see the P. 393 00:16:00,282 --> 00:16:01,949 He thinks a bigger head needs to roll, okay? 394 00:16:01,984 --> 00:16:04,152 Like a massive Easter Island-sized head. 395 00:16:04,186 --> 00:16:06,421 - Hmm. - No. No. 396 00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:08,089 Look at me, I've got a small head. 397 00:16:08,123 --> 00:16:09,590 I could wear a child's hat. 398 00:16:09,625 --> 00:16:11,626 Besides... 399 00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:14,128 I know about you spreading the Danny Chung torture rumor. 400 00:16:14,163 --> 00:16:15,696 Well, that's useless leverage right now, Jonah, 401 00:16:15,731 --> 00:16:17,131 because you have all the credibility of someone 402 00:16:17,166 --> 00:16:19,400 who hacked the medical records of a sick child. 403 00:16:19,435 --> 00:16:21,335 - No... - Hey, "I Am Groot," 404 00:16:21,370 --> 00:16:23,137 stop swapping spit here with "Pretty Woman" 405 00:16:23,172 --> 00:16:24,572 and get me Brock and Hunter. 406 00:16:24,606 --> 00:16:26,407 Absolutely. Sorry, I was just on my way to go do that. 407 00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:28,776 It's an important meeting, okay? It's seminal. 408 00:16:28,811 --> 00:16:30,378 Oh, hey. 409 00:16:30,412 --> 00:16:31,846 You already did this great joke. 410 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,581 Damn, man, this guy's balls are so big, 411 00:16:33,615 --> 00:16:36,384 they're practically tits. Huh? Johnny Tit-balls. 412 00:16:36,418 --> 00:16:38,453 Yeah, don't squeeze the milkers too much. 413 00:16:40,722 --> 00:16:43,491 Milkers. Love it. 414 00:16:45,494 --> 00:16:46,928 You were firing me? 415 00:16:46,995 --> 00:16:48,196 What the hell was that? 416 00:16:48,230 --> 00:16:49,864 Nothing. It's just jock stuff. 417 00:16:49,898 --> 00:16:51,566 You know, just guys having fun. 418 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,534 That isn't, Jonah. That's sexual harassment. 419 00:16:53,569 --> 00:16:55,636 Jesus, does he do that to you all the time? 420 00:16:55,671 --> 00:16:58,339 No, not all the time. 421 00:16:58,373 --> 00:17:00,675 Sometimes, but not all the time. 422 00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:01,909 It's just high spirits. 423 00:17:01,944 --> 00:17:04,011 Mr. Ryan, so they were out of tuna melts, 424 00:17:04,079 --> 00:17:07,482 so I improvised and I got you this lobster curry roll. 425 00:17:07,516 --> 00:17:08,850 All right, look, zip it, Jeeves. 426 00:17:08,884 --> 00:17:10,318 I'm in the middle of firing your boss. 427 00:17:10,352 --> 00:17:12,320 Wow, over the campaign data thing? 428 00:17:12,354 --> 00:17:15,189 - The what? - The I Care mailer. 429 00:17:15,224 --> 00:17:16,657 All right, no? 430 00:17:16,692 --> 00:17:18,593 I'm picking up from your facial cues that you don't know. 431 00:17:18,627 --> 00:17:21,996 Here's four verbal cues for you... "Tell me now, asshole." 432 00:17:22,030 --> 00:17:26,400 Well, that mailer was deliberately directed at recently bereaved parents. 433 00:17:26,435 --> 00:17:28,069 Bereaved parents? 434 00:17:28,103 --> 00:17:30,571 Yeah, someone from the campaign used the child mortality data 435 00:17:30,606 --> 00:17:32,907 from the same data breach that identified the HIV girl. 436 00:17:32,941 --> 00:17:34,742 Okay, Yogi and Boo-Boo, 437 00:17:34,776 --> 00:17:37,378 you say nothing to anybody. You understand me? 438 00:17:37,412 --> 00:17:40,281 - Yes. - Well, obviously you don't, 'cause you just fucking spoke. 439 00:17:40,315 --> 00:17:41,782 - Oh. - Shit! 440 00:17:41,817 --> 00:17:44,352 Amy, the gates of hell have opened and you are my plus one. 441 00:17:44,386 --> 00:17:46,754 You cannot be associated with bullying 442 00:17:46,788 --> 00:17:50,558 because people are going to think that you were bullied by me. 443 00:17:50,592 --> 00:17:53,294 I wasn't bullied by you, I was bullied because of you. 444 00:17:53,328 --> 00:17:54,495 Did you want me to leave? 445 00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:55,897 - No, no. - Yes. 446 00:17:55,931 --> 00:17:57,331 No, you weren't, sweetheart. 447 00:17:57,366 --> 00:17:59,667 Yes, I was and it was miserable. 448 00:17:59,701 --> 00:18:03,104 Well, I apologize for my success, Catherine. 449 00:18:03,138 --> 00:18:06,207 I had no idea until this very moment 450 00:18:06,241 --> 00:18:10,645 that you had a tortured, unhappy, miserable upbringing. 451 00:18:10,679 --> 00:18:12,480 You're gonna have to drop the bullying thing, though, honey. 452 00:18:12,514 --> 00:18:14,582 No, I'm not gonna drop it. 453 00:18:17,619 --> 00:18:19,954 Do you want to go to Hawaii at Thanksgiving? 454 00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:23,524 Are you interested in Memaw's sapphire earrings? 455 00:18:23,559 --> 00:18:27,461 Are you bullying me into dropping an anti-bullying charity? 456 00:18:27,496 --> 00:18:29,163 Gary, am I? 457 00:18:29,197 --> 00:18:30,431 You're parenting. 458 00:18:30,465 --> 00:18:33,200 Yeah, well, too, I might add. 459 00:18:33,235 --> 00:18:35,069 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. - We'll explain later. 460 00:18:35,103 --> 00:18:36,337 No, we won't. We'll never explain. 461 00:18:36,371 --> 00:18:39,140 Ma'am, Catherine needs to leave. 462 00:18:39,174 --> 00:18:40,808 Okay, Catherine, up, out. 463 00:18:40,842 --> 00:18:42,710 For fuck's sake. 464 00:18:42,744 --> 00:18:44,679 All right, that's enough with the F words. 465 00:18:44,713 --> 00:18:47,915 Thank you very much. I apologize for her behav... 466 00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:49,817 What is it? 467 00:18:49,851 --> 00:18:51,586 I can't tell you. 468 00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:53,588 Well, great meeting, then, thanks. 469 00:18:53,622 --> 00:18:55,156 Ma'am, if we tell you, you'll know, 470 00:18:55,190 --> 00:18:57,592 and if you know, you'll be implicated. 471 00:18:58,894 --> 00:19:02,163 Well, then, why don't you tell me 472 00:19:02,197 --> 00:19:06,000 and I'll decide whether or not I know it? 473 00:19:07,469 --> 00:19:10,705 Ma'am, a direct mail campaign went out last month 474 00:19:10,739 --> 00:19:12,607 with pictures of you with babies and children. 475 00:19:12,641 --> 00:19:13,975 Yeah, it was a huge success. 476 00:19:14,009 --> 00:19:16,310 Ma'am, it targeted recently bereaved parents 477 00:19:16,345 --> 00:19:18,312 using stolen government data. 478 00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:24,518 Well... 479 00:19:24,553 --> 00:19:26,287 that's a federal crime. 480 00:19:26,321 --> 00:19:27,955 - Yes. - Yes, it is. 481 00:19:27,990 --> 00:19:29,290 You could go to jail. 482 00:19:29,324 --> 00:19:31,359 Yes, ma'am, we could go to jail. 483 00:19:31,393 --> 00:19:34,362 Yeah, you could go to jail. 484 00:19:35,897 --> 00:19:38,099 Wow. 485 00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:45,172 We're fucked? Is that what this is? 486 00:19:45,207 --> 00:19:48,709 "I'm afraid it's spread to the liver" fucked? 487 00:19:48,744 --> 00:19:51,779 Ma'am, we think it was a student volunteer with a pal at HHS, but he's gone now. 488 00:19:51,813 --> 00:19:54,749 If we can just hold our nerve and maintain a bunker mentality... 489 00:19:54,783 --> 00:19:56,917 Don't give me that bunker shit. 490 00:19:56,952 --> 00:19:58,352 Hitler went into a bunker. 491 00:19:58,387 --> 00:20:01,022 When he came out, he wasn't chancellor anymore, was he? 492 00:20:01,056 --> 00:20:02,790 Plus he was dead. 493 00:20:02,824 --> 00:20:05,359 I'll tell you something, if he were alive right now, 494 00:20:05,394 --> 00:20:08,796 he'd be very anxious to distance himself from me at this moment. 495 00:20:08,830 --> 00:20:10,531 We need to keep this within these four... 496 00:20:10,565 --> 00:20:12,500 Or this one curved wall. 497 00:20:12,534 --> 00:20:15,536 We need to stop the press dead so they don't dig into this any further. 498 00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:17,872 And that means a major resignation. 499 00:20:17,906 --> 00:20:21,709 A face. Although, if you operate last in, first out, I'm screwed. 500 00:20:23,278 --> 00:20:26,347 Ma'am, I have a proposal I need to speak with you about. 501 00:20:26,381 --> 00:20:28,849 Okay, fine. Amy, Ben, you stay. 502 00:20:28,884 --> 00:20:30,518 Everybody else, just get out. 503 00:20:33,522 --> 00:20:35,089 I need to be the one to go. 504 00:20:35,123 --> 00:20:37,258 You? No, no. Uh-uh. 505 00:20:37,292 --> 00:20:38,826 Yes, Madam President. 506 00:20:38,860 --> 00:20:42,496 This is a head-on collision and I'm your biggest air bag. 507 00:20:42,531 --> 00:20:45,633 Okay, so we need to issue a positive statement about the HIV girl. 508 00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:47,368 Not positive. Wrong word. 509 00:20:47,402 --> 00:20:51,172 Mike, did I see you smiling when it was suggested I might be fired? 510 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,808 Me? No. I... I wasn't smiling. 511 00:20:53,842 --> 00:20:56,711 I was stretching my lips because I have very dry lips, 512 00:20:56,745 --> 00:20:58,646 and my doctor said, "You should probably stretch them." 513 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,514 So I was following medical advice. Like... 514 00:21:00,549 --> 00:21:03,684 - Like that. - That's what you're going with? 515 00:21:03,719 --> 00:21:06,554 Wow. Listen, you ever play poker, I want in, 516 00:21:06,588 --> 00:21:08,622 'cause you are one terrible liar. 517 00:21:08,657 --> 00:21:11,158 And that's sad 'cause that's your whole job. 518 00:21:17,065 --> 00:21:20,201 Why are you using the urinal next to me? 519 00:21:20,235 --> 00:21:22,970 - You leave a gap. - I've already started. 520 00:21:23,004 --> 00:21:25,406 The little one gives me splash-back. 521 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,776 Still, you leave a gap. We're not piss buddies. 522 00:21:30,612 --> 00:21:32,947 Damn, that's some kind of prostate control. 523 00:21:32,981 --> 00:21:35,116 Treasure it, my friend. 524 00:21:35,150 --> 00:21:38,886 So, you want to know if the president told me who she's firing, right? 525 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,856 - Yeah. - It's me. 526 00:21:41,890 --> 00:21:45,059 You don't tell anyone until she's made an announcement. 527 00:21:45,093 --> 00:21:47,394 - You got it? - Yeah, not a word. 528 00:21:47,429 --> 00:21:50,598 You swear by everything you hold dear in your hand right now? 529 00:21:50,632 --> 00:21:52,633 I do. 530 00:21:52,667 --> 00:21:54,301 I swear on King Danny. 531 00:21:54,336 --> 00:21:57,204 This is an Easter egg roll and I just see baskets with no eggs. 532 00:21:57,239 --> 00:21:59,607 Gary, front row for the story reading 533 00:21:59,641 --> 00:22:01,408 needs to be the children with the strongest bladders. 534 00:22:01,443 --> 00:22:03,310 - I don't even know what that means. - Guys. 535 00:22:03,345 --> 00:22:05,780 - Oh, thank God. - Why am I carrying eggs, huh? 536 00:22:05,814 --> 00:22:07,948 - I'm up to my eyeballs in HIV. - No, no, don't give them to me. 537 00:22:07,983 --> 00:22:10,851 There's a six-foot bunny out there with 30 spoons. You can't miss him. 538 00:22:16,091 --> 00:22:18,959 - It's Ben. - No way. 539 00:22:19,928 --> 00:22:21,562 No, who's getting fired, Mike. 540 00:22:21,596 --> 00:22:22,730 - What? - Yeah. 541 00:22:22,764 --> 00:22:25,766 I found another one. 542 00:22:25,801 --> 00:22:27,868 Well, thank you for your service, Greg. 543 00:22:27,903 --> 00:22:30,337 Very happy to have one of my Marines in costume. 544 00:22:30,372 --> 00:22:32,573 - You're welcome, ma'am. - Actually, I'm really glad you're here. 545 00:22:32,607 --> 00:22:35,242 These kids terrify me. 546 00:22:35,277 --> 00:22:36,944 But I guess you've seen worse. 547 00:22:36,978 --> 00:22:39,613 You did two tours of Afghanistan? 548 00:22:39,648 --> 00:22:42,283 Yes, ma'am. I saw my best buddy die over there. 549 00:22:42,317 --> 00:22:44,952 Blown to pieces by an IED. 550 00:22:47,255 --> 00:22:49,623 Mr. Egan. You have a moment? 551 00:22:49,658 --> 00:22:52,193 - Sure. - Yeah, I'll call you back. 552 00:22:52,227 --> 00:22:54,929 - Hey, Dan. - I thought you resigned. 553 00:22:54,963 --> 00:22:56,797 I guess the president changed her mind. 554 00:22:56,832 --> 00:22:58,699 It's a fickle world, my friend, 555 00:22:58,733 --> 00:23:00,401 and you've just been fickled. 556 00:23:02,103 --> 00:23:06,040 No. No, this is not... This is not real. 557 00:23:06,074 --> 00:23:07,441 You're right, Dan. It's a dream. 558 00:23:07,475 --> 00:23:09,009 And me and Kent are about to turn into 559 00:23:09,044 --> 00:23:11,812 two horny cheerleaders and start making out. 560 00:23:11,847 --> 00:23:14,515 So am I fired? Please, Ben, don't say that I'm fired. 561 00:23:14,549 --> 00:23:16,517 - You're not fired. - Oh, thank fuck for that. 562 00:23:16,551 --> 00:23:18,619 - Because you've just resigned. - It's a perfect fit. 563 00:23:18,653 --> 00:23:20,221 Worked on the Families First bill 564 00:23:20,255 --> 00:23:23,057 and handsome, therefore guilty-looking. 565 00:23:23,091 --> 00:23:25,359 No, no. No. 566 00:23:25,393 --> 00:23:27,928 I know about the targeting of bereaved families 567 00:23:27,963 --> 00:23:29,663 and the use of federal data. 568 00:23:29,698 --> 00:23:32,499 You listen to me, you little fucking turd's assistant. 569 00:23:32,534 --> 00:23:34,268 You don't threaten this administration 570 00:23:34,302 --> 00:23:36,704 because we will fucking destroy you. 571 00:23:36,738 --> 00:23:38,372 We'll skin you like a squirrel, 572 00:23:38,406 --> 00:23:40,274 clean you out like a dirty fucking chimney, 573 00:23:40,308 --> 00:23:42,776 and wear you like a glove puppet with my fingers 574 00:23:42,811 --> 00:23:46,280 sticking out of your dead fucking eyeballs. 575 00:23:47,515 --> 00:23:49,650 I cannot endorse that message, 576 00:23:49,684 --> 00:23:51,552 but I do acknowledge it. 577 00:23:51,586 --> 00:23:53,153 Come inside. 578 00:23:53,188 --> 00:23:55,556 Hi, boys and girls. 579 00:23:55,590 --> 00:23:58,926 Now, once upon a time, 580 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,896 there were three little pigs 581 00:24:01,930 --> 00:24:04,899 with their mom, who was an old sow. 582 00:24:04,933 --> 00:24:09,036 And she sent them out to seek their fortune. 583 00:24:09,070 --> 00:24:12,039 Yeah, you know what? I, uh... 584 00:24:12,073 --> 00:24:16,443 I think I'm gonna need a bigger title before I agree to resign. 585 00:24:16,478 --> 00:24:19,246 How about Captain Loser? 586 00:24:19,281 --> 00:24:22,082 Or Big Chief Skidmark? 587 00:24:22,117 --> 00:24:24,318 And the president will be making another apology 588 00:24:24,352 --> 00:24:26,754 personally to the family of Jennifer Graham. 589 00:24:26,788 --> 00:24:30,457 She is a young girl who did not ask to become a national debating point. 590 00:24:30,492 --> 00:24:33,661 I must be their front-runner. I already did the job for three years. 591 00:24:33,695 --> 00:24:36,096 - Amy. - I got to go. 592 00:24:36,131 --> 00:24:38,432 Ben's not going. It's Dan. 593 00:24:38,466 --> 00:24:40,567 Mike's about to saw off the healthy leg. 594 00:24:40,602 --> 00:24:42,970 Oh, fuck! 595 00:24:43,004 --> 00:24:45,306 You can be sure that the president is taking steps 596 00:24:45,340 --> 00:24:48,309 to ensure that appropriate action will be taken. 597 00:24:48,376 --> 00:24:51,879 "Little pig, little pig, let me in." 598 00:24:51,913 --> 00:24:53,547 "No, no. 599 00:24:53,581 --> 00:24:57,785 Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin." 600 00:24:57,819 --> 00:25:00,354 All right, how about Deputy Assistant to the President? 601 00:25:00,388 --> 00:25:02,456 That's funny. 602 00:25:02,490 --> 00:25:04,892 Ben, Mike's about to announce we're firing you. 603 00:25:04,926 --> 00:25:07,127 No, that's funny. 604 00:25:07,162 --> 00:25:10,464 So he huffed and he puffed and he blew his house in. 605 00:25:10,498 --> 00:25:13,667 Now it's the president's turn to tell the story, please. 606 00:25:13,702 --> 00:25:16,337 - You're the president? - Yeah, I'm the president. 607 00:25:16,371 --> 00:25:18,439 Wow. 608 00:25:18,473 --> 00:25:21,575 The Graham family have requested privacy 609 00:25:21,609 --> 00:25:23,744 and that we allow them to live a normal life. 610 00:25:23,778 --> 00:25:26,747 Here's the new statement. Get that to Mike. 611 00:25:26,781 --> 00:25:28,716 I can't run in these heels. 612 00:25:28,750 --> 00:25:32,319 Christian, get that to Mike now! 613 00:25:32,354 --> 00:25:35,556 The person with ultimate responsibility is... 614 00:25:37,459 --> 00:25:41,595 is Dan Egan, Chief Counsel to the President? 615 00:25:41,629 --> 00:25:44,732 Come over here, young man. It looks like you don't feel very good. 616 00:25:44,766 --> 00:25:47,434 - Is that your son? - He's gifted. 617 00:25:47,469 --> 00:25:50,070 There we go. Uh-oh. 618 00:25:50,105 --> 00:25:51,839 Oh. 619 00:25:51,873 --> 00:25:54,041 - He did have a big breakfast. - Okay. 620 00:25:54,075 --> 00:25:56,543 Do you like the story that I'm reading? 621 00:25:56,578 --> 00:25:58,278 You do? 622 00:25:58,313 --> 00:26:01,081 Ew, you guys... 623 00:26:01,116 --> 00:26:03,283 Hey, man. 624 00:26:03,318 --> 00:26:06,320 Yeah, well, you know, enjoy it. 625 00:26:06,354 --> 00:26:07,955 I'm not here to gloat. I've been through this. 626 00:26:07,989 --> 00:26:10,691 Just tell me which way the vultures are circling, okay? 627 00:26:10,725 --> 00:26:12,493 There's a big media presence by the northwest gate. 628 00:26:12,527 --> 00:26:13,494 You want me to grab one? 629 00:26:13,528 --> 00:26:15,362 I'm going out a different door. 630 00:26:15,397 --> 00:26:17,197 Taken enough fucking heat for one day. 631 00:26:17,232 --> 00:26:20,467 That photo of you with the kids will play great. 632 00:26:20,502 --> 00:26:22,403 - Oh, it was so good. - Yeah. 633 00:26:22,437 --> 00:26:24,505 It was like earth mother meets foster parent 634 00:26:24,539 --> 00:26:25,873 with a hint of girl next door. 635 00:26:25,907 --> 00:26:28,075 - I need a scotch. - Yes. 636 00:26:30,879 --> 00:26:33,380 There you go. Stay strong, buddy. 637 00:26:33,415 --> 00:26:36,183 - Thanks. - Hey, let me get this for you. 638 00:26:36,217 --> 00:26:40,320 Oh, God, I meant southeast gate. 639 00:26:40,355 --> 00:26:43,557 - Mr. Egan, do you feel ashamed of your actions? - Excuse me. 640 00:26:46,561 --> 00:26:49,863 I thought... When we discussed, 641 00:26:49,898 --> 00:26:52,466 I thought that it was Ben who would be going. 642 00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:56,036 Oh, right. Yeah, actually, Bill suggested Dan. 643 00:26:56,071 --> 00:26:58,972 - Ah. - He thought it would be a good idea 644 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,975 to keep Ben to take the heat in casthe other data shit hits the fan. 645 00:27:02,010 --> 00:27:03,744 - Good thought, right? - Yeah. 646 00:27:03,778 --> 00:27:06,747 - Just doing my job. - Me, too. 647 00:27:06,781 --> 00:27:08,982 Stevie, it's Dan Egan. 648 00:27:09,017 --> 00:27:13,220 So, um... so it looks like I am a free agent again. 649 00:27:13,254 --> 00:27:15,022 Yeah, so give me a call. 650 00:27:15,056 --> 00:27:17,791 It's the same number as the last two messages. 651 00:27:17,826 --> 00:27:19,827 Hey, Jen, it's Dan. 652 00:27:19,861 --> 00:27:22,629 Either your phone is dead or I am. 653 00:27:22,664 --> 00:27:25,732 So obviously I hope it's the first one. 654 00:27:25,767 --> 00:27:28,368 Josh Stansfield. 655 00:27:28,403 --> 00:27:30,404 How are you? It's Dan Egan. 656 00:27:30,438 --> 00:27:33,407 So, look, I... And you've gone. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 51808

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