All language subtitles for The.Vampire.Diaries.S06E21.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-KiNGS

Previously on
"the vampire diaries"...

The cure
to vampirism.

You're gonna take
the cure, elena,

And i'm gonna
take it with you.

I can't let you
do this

Before you've let
everyone in your life

Try to talk you
out of it.

-I'm pregnant.
-Marry me.

Yes.

Stefan: If my life is
gonna fall apart

When my humanity
starts flooding back,

Then so is yours.

I tried to kill you,

And then i made you
turn it off.

I ruined everything.

Jo: Before the 1900s, lily fell
in with a group of witches

That were cast out
of the gemini coven.

Heretics are ruthless,

Vampires with witch power.

They can never be
allowed to escape.

It's time we get the
hell out of this place.

You went off the
deep end last night.

Aah!

I'm a mess.

Unh!

You have no idea what
devastation feels like,

But you will.

Elena?

Hello again, bonnie.

Lily. I thought
stefan locked you
in the cellar.

He did, but prisons
are easily escaped.

You of all people
should know that.

What do you want?

Must i constantly
repeat myself?

If you don't know
what i want by now--

You want
your creepy witch
vampire family back.

Well, at the risk
of repeating myself,
there's no way.

Isn't there?
What's that term

You witches are
so fond of? "loophole"?

Hmm. Even if there
is a loophole,

I won't help you
find it.

Oh, you've made your
position quite clear.

Apparently, i failed
to do the same,

Because you seem to
think that i'm here
for your help.

I'm not.

Phesmatos incendia.

Hmm. Those are
lovely words, bonnie.

Here's another one--die.

[gasp]

Unh! Ohh!

Agh!

Wow. You are not
good at running.

Motus.

No magic?
Oh, that's my fault.

I was spooning you
earlier.

I think i might've
sleep-siphoned you.

Oh, but keep trying.
It's adorable,

Like you're having
a little seizure.

-How are you--
-did you think

You could keep screwing
people over

And there wouldn't be
any consequences?

Lily: Now...

Where were we?

[snarls]

Up, up, up. Come on.
No time to sleep in.

We have to get jo.

-Get jo?
-Yeah.

Is everything ok?

I hope so, considering
she's walking down the aisle

In t-minus 10 hours.

Come on.
[claps]

Wedding bells
await.

[music playing]

Crap.

They're not here.

What's wrong?

My shoes.
My gorgeous,

Ridiculously expensive,
wear them once

And then never again shoes.
They are missing.

Do you want me to do
a locator spell?

-On my shoes?
-Mm-hmm.

-Is that possible?
-I don't know, actually.

Just hang on.
I got to figure out

How to work
this stupid thing.

Oh, good.
Break it

Because my wrinkled
dress will surely

Distract everyone
from my bare feet.

Hey, hey.
Come on.

Don't waste all
your panic now.

You still have
8 hours until
the ceremony.

Non-alcoholic
mimosa?

One, a non-alcoholic
mimosa is just orange juice,

And two, i can't drink.

Somebody should drink.
You should drink.

I will drink, eventually,

But i have
human tolerance now,

Which is cheaper
but a lot less fun.

Cheers.

[cell phone ringing]

Oh. Oh!

Relax.

[exhales]

Jo's phone.

Oh. Huh.

Uh, ok.

That's not
an "ok" ok.

That's a "there's
a problem" ok.

Yeah, we'll call you back.
Ok, bye.

Danielle's
got the flu.

Heh. It sounded
like you just said

Danielle has the flu,

Which is impossible
because danielle

Is my wedding coordinator.

Yeah.

Well, how sick is she?
Can she still work?

It depends on how much

Vomit you want to have
at the wedding.

Caroline: To be honest, i think
maybe this is a good thing,

Because no matter
how good danielle was,

I am pretty sure i'm better.

Caroline.

I missed you.

I missed me, too.

Thank you
for getting me back.

[sniffles]

Hi.

[caroline laughs]

Ok. Now, we got
a lot to do

And not a lot
of time to do it.

Elena, just have
a drink.

You're not going
to pass out.

Bonnie, the switch
is on the left-hand side

-On the back.
-Oh.

And jo, i can see
your shoes under the couch.

Ok, now, who's
dealing with the boys?

Ok, we got suits.

I got the rings.

And the vows.

So...What do we do now?

Tyler:
To alaric saltzman,

Who after today,
will have sex with

Only one woman
for the rest
of his life.

Seriously,
just one.

You can't
even look
after this.

Not that chicks are
throwing themselves

At an occult studies
professor, but--

Yeah, actually, you
should probably

Lock this down
while you can.

Yeah, you remember
how great it was

When you two
were fighting?

Sorry.
Full moon tonight.

Feeling extra dickish.

And what's
your excuse?

[cell phones ringing]

What? What is it?

Wedding day chores.

Both: Courtesy of caroline.

Karma.
Sweet, sweet karma.

Ha!

Ok, the boys are
officially taken care of.

Bride and maid
of honor are
in hair and makeup.

I'm gonna head
to the venue and fix

Whatever they're
screwing up.

Elena,
the curling iron.

Yes, i see it, care.

-Ok.
-I'm human now, not blind.

And i'm not
fragile, either.

You don't have to
walk on eggshells
around me.

Uh, i do, actually,

Because if you
walked on them,

They could cut you,
you'd get infected,

And probably die.

You know what?

Given my luck,

That actually
seems possible.

[both giggle]

So what's it like now

In the world of the living?

It's different.
I'm slower.

I have to look
both ways before
crossing the street.

But it's nice
to not--

Be a monster
like me

Who turns off
their humanity

And commits murder
instead of dealing

With grief like
a normal person?

I was gonna say
not to have to wear

A daylight ring
all the time.

[chuckles]

Look, i'm so
sorry, elena,

I was trying
to hurt you

When i said that
you would never

Truly be happy
with damon because
you weren't human.

And now you are,
and i just hope

That it's not because
i made you think that

You would be miserable
for eternity.

Care. I've wanted
to be human

From the day
i became a vampire.

Besides, i'm
the last person

That you need
to apologize to.

Thanks.
I kind of wanted

To start
with an easy one.

The dreaded
amends tour.

Mmm. If you see
stefan, by the way,

I am avoiding.

I just need to get
my life in order first.

Starting
with my friends.

Stefan's not a friend?

Stefan's...Complicated.

I just figured
i'd work my way up
to that one.

Well, you're
in the clear.

He's got his hands full
with damon today.

What's wrong
with damon?

Not much.
He just

Said he would take
the cure with me.

Damon salvatore?

Human? I--

I can't even
picture it.

Yeah. Something
tells me

Neither can he.

Damon: "sure, i'll be
your best man, ric,

"but first, hang out
with the worst men

"so that my brother
can kidnap me

On the day
of your wedding."

Hey, don't you hate
weddings anyway?

I hate little stefan
mind games even more.

Hmm.

So any time
you want to clue me in

As to where the hell
we're going.

Oh, come on.
It's your last few days
as a vampire.

You can't blame me
for wanting to spend

Some quality time
with my brother.

Ah, look.
Here we are.

Is mr. Rogers
expecting us?

You know mr. Rogers
is dead, right?

Yeah, we're gonna be
joining him in make-believe

If you don't get
to the damn point.

So this is
a house i lived in

During one of my
many attempts to
start over.

Welcome to your
suburban nightmare.

You don't think i've
thought this through?

Well, i think you've
thought about a life
with elena.

I don't think you've
thought about neighbors

Or a mortgage or--

Or kids.

I don't know.

Might not be your thing.

Relax. Relax.

I'm not here to
cause mischief.

Said everyone who ever
causes mischief.

I told lily
i'd visit.

Is this like some
oedipus thing?

All right. You know what?
Doesn't matter.

Excuse me,
little witch.

If you think i'm
gonna let you--

A ruiner--in here
to see another ruiner

On the day
of jo's wedding,

You got another thing
coming.

She's lonely
and hungry.

And she can't eat that.

I'm not trying
to feed her.

I'm trying to keep
her sane.

That is filled
with loads of songs

From the last era
she knew.

I thought it might
bring her comfort.

If you're not
a complete monster,

I trust you'll
pass it on.

Lily: I want my family back.

That's all
i've ever wanted,

To have my family back
with me where they belong.

What?

Ohh!

Aah!

She was rambling on
about her family,

And then i got close
to her,

And she attacked me
like an animal.

Sounds like she's
reached the full-blown
crazy stage

Of drying out.

You're saying this is
all because she's
drying out?

It's hard for me to
explain how awful it is,

But, yeah, your
mind starts playing
tricks on you.

You start seeing things
and people.

What happens when
the crazy stage is over?

Well, stefan said that
he has a plan,

You know, to get her
back on track.

Does that plan involve
letting her out?

Because if he thinks she's
giving up on her family--

She has to.

Bonnie, you already
destroyed the ascendant.

What if there's
a loophole?

[footsteps]

I'm dreading it,
but i guess i should think

About putting
the dress on.

Something's wrong.

It's not the dress,
is it?

Tell me it's not
the dress.

We were just discussing
the fact that there's

A desiccating vampire
locked in a cell

Less than 50 feet from
where we're getting ready.

Did she do something
to the dress?

The dress is fine.

I'm just being
paranoid.

Matt: Ok. Truck's here.
Who's coming?

Caroline suggested
in a semi-threatening way

That i pick up
the centerpieces,

Which sounds like
a donovan screw-up
waiting to happen.

I'll come!

Yeah.

Caroline: No, not there.
There.

Just a little bit higher.

Well, that's not
a little, but--

But i'm bad
at flowers?

Yeah. I assumed
you knew that.

Caroline,
why am i here?

I tried to kill you.

My humanity was off,
but i still tried
to kill you,

And you're my friend,
and i'm sorry.

That's funny.

You and i moved on
a while ago,

But getting tortured
by your ex

And her new boyfriend

Is never good
for the ego.

He's not
my boyfriend.

Whatever he is.

I can't keep up.

You have to know
i would never do
anything like that

If it weren't for--

You're good, care,

And if you want to
make amends,

Let me get the hell
out of here.

Ha ha ha ha!
Nice try, ok,

But if i were
getting married

At an altar that
looked like that,

I would be divorced
in a week,

So come on,
lockwood.

Next row.

Liv: Honestly,
you should probably

Do that yourself.

Liv, what are you
doing here?

You do know that
jo's my sister, right?

Goodie! More amends.

Drinks will help!
Strong ones.

You look good.

Thanks.

How are things?

Good.

Still recovering
from that injury?

What injury?

Whatever head injury
turned you

Into a monosyllabic goon.

Monosyllabic. That's
an awfully big word

For a college dropout.

Oh, i'm sorry.
Was i supposed to
stay at whitmore

After my ass
of a boyfriend told me

He never wanted
to see me again?

Hang on.
You're mad at me?

I lost my brother
and then my boyfriend

In the span
of a week.

And instead
of coming to me,

You tried to
kill yourself.

I was hurt.

That doesn't
make it ok.

You're lecturing me
on flying off the handle?

Wow! You know what?

I'm gonna wait outside.

Gemini wedding means
big coven reunion
heading this way.

Elena says she's
desiccating

And that's why
she's crazy, but--

Yeah.

She killed two people
last week

When she wasn't
desiccating.

I know this
will sound crazy,

But i've been having
these nightmares

With her and kai.

Here.

What's this?

When bonnie bennett
has a hunch,

You don't ignore it.

What do you think
we should do?

I know what we
shouldn't do--

Leave her in the hands
of two people
we don't trust.

Yeah, it's nice.

Brazilian hardwoods,

Open floor plan,

Updated kitchen.

What kind of roadkill
are you cooking in there?

Well, considering
the fact that you
actually have to eat

As a human,
i just wanted to give you

A little taste
of what your dinner's
gonna look like.

You don't cook,
elena doesn't cook.

Who has time anyway
with work and kids, right?

Mmm. Salisbury steak.
Dig in, damon.

You're gonna need
all that energy for these.

Oh, yeah?
What's this?

That's just the rest
of your life.

Paperwork? That's
your big move?

Let me ask you something.

When was the last time
you filled out paperwork
of any kind--

Taxes, health insurance,
driver's license?

Every idiot
in the country does it.

You think i'm gonna
have trouble with this?

You will the first
time you encounter
some moron

That you can't
kill or compel.

Maybe. Then i would
just come home

And pop a beer
from my beautiful

Stainless steel
refrigerator.

Which you won't
be able to afford

Unless you have
a job,

And if you're about
to say you can

Borrow money from me,
you can't.

Well, that's not
very brotherly of you.

Actually it is.
See, i won't know
where you live.

You'll have the cure
running through
your veins,

And if i know
where you are,

Then someone can use me
to track you down

And take the cure
from you

And turn you into
a 172-year-old corpse.

What's the matter?
Haven't thought
that far ahead?

See, eventually,
word will spread,

And you and elena
will have to move away.

You'll have to isolate
yourself,

No friends, no family.

This will be
your life, damon.

This will be
your hell.

Well, that is where
you are wrong, my brother.

This will not be my life.

This will be
my life.

See, elena was pretty
explicit about what
she wanted.

Now this isn't tribeca.

New york's a little
too crowded for me,

But it is above a bar
that i own

Next to a medical school.

It's in
the northwest somewhere.

I mean, i'd tell you
where it was,

But you made it
abundantly clear

You didn't want
to know.

Heh heh.

I'm gonna check out
upstairs.

[cell phone ringing]

I'm on my third glass,
so speak slowly.

You know how you and i
were both worried

That he didn't
think this through?

He thought it through.

Ha! It's damon.
He didn't.

He's ready
to do this, elena.

He's got your perfect
little life all planned out.

I want the perfect
human life with him,
too, stefan, trust me,

But life isn't perfect.

Ok? Look. You have
a few more hours,

So push him,
make him see that.

[sighs]

Jo: Hey.

Remember when you were
pacing yourself?

Heh. I do.

Right before i told
my ex-boyfriend

How to get
my current boyfriend

To give up hope
for our relationship.

What if i made
a huge mistake
by taking the cure?

The only mistake you made

Was that last glass
of champagne.

I'm gonna go make
some coffee

Before you spiral
through the earth to china.

Yeah, ok.

Ooh.

Jo?

Are you ok?

Jo!

Hey, jo, jo!

Jo! Jo!

The doctor got
the test results back.

The babies are fine,
you're fine.

He thinks it was just--

An acute panic attack

Brought on by stress,
pregnancy,

And a severe lack
of food.

Yeah.

What are the chances
of you being

An amazing maid of honor
and keeping

This mortifying episode
to yourself?

I don't want to
worry ric.

Of course.

You can't tell her
that i told you.

Ok. Fine,
but i want to see her.

-Not till the wedding.
-Elena!

Ric, if there's anywhere
that you should be
superstitious,

It's mystic falls.

Ok. Fine,
but what happened?

The doctors think that
she had a panic attack.

As in she doesn't want
to get married to me
panic attack? Great.

No, as in it's her
wedding day

And she has two small
humans growing inside her

And she can't self-medicate
like you, bourbon breath.

Sorry. I just--i saw
her fall,

And my first instinct
was to vamp to her,

But i couldn't,

And then i saw her
hit her head,

And i wanted to give her
vampire blood,

But i couldn't.

Wait. So are you
having second thoughts?

No, because then
i thought,

"what would a human do?"

So i called 911,
got her to the hospital,

And then i let
the doctors do their job,

And it felt
oddly empowering.

Why didn't you
tell me?

Tell you what?

How amazing it feels
to be human again.

At first, i was worried
that it might take

The edge off my senses,

But it's the opposite.

I feel...

Connected
to the world again.

I feel...

Alive?

Yeah.

That's because your
life has purpose again.

It's finite,

And it's...

Pretty much
the greatest feeling
in the whole world.

I made you guys
some amazing drinks

With a little bit
of tequila.

Ok. A lot of tequila.

And there's only
one of you.

What did you do?

I didn't do anything.

He said angrily.

Nothing has changed.

What? Because she
walks in here

With a pretty dress
and a new haircut,

I'm supposed to forget
how she acted?

No. You're supposed
to talk to her
like an adult

And work out
your problems.

You don't know
about our problems.

No, but i know about
your problems--

Unless you're cool
with only making it

Two weeks in
the police academy

And then having
no purpose in life.

At least when you
had her,

You were trying,
tyler.

You're giving me advice
about relationships

After all your
stefan drama this year?

Do me a favor.
Figure out your
own damn life.

Let me worry about mine.

[cell phone vibrating]

Well, i applaud you
for your effort, stefan,

But i think it's time

For the "this is
your life" tour to end.

You get the address?

Yep. Tuxes are
in the car.

-We're good to go.
-Good.

Oh, hey!
Just one more thing.

Ohh. What now?

You gonna give me
a lecture on laundry,

Oil changes,
personal hygiene?

-Breakups.
-What about them?

Well, i guess you
hadn't really thought
about that, right?

What if you
and elena aren't
really soul mates?

You know i'm not
very big on labels, bro,

But i think we're
pretty good on that front.

Ahh. Yeah. You sound
like me 4 years ago.

You know, elena and me,
we were soul mates, too.

Watch it, stefan.

Hey. I'm just being
realistic.

I mean, what if
something goes wrong?

You're still human,
still isolated,

Still alone.

Not gonna happen.

Right because couples
stay together forever.

They never fight,
they never hurt
each other,

They never
drift apart.

Heh.

Let me show you.

You're still up.

Rough night?

Just...Long.

I keep having to
tell myself

A couple more years
of residency,

And i'll be free.

Come sit,
have a drink with me.

I'm actually
kind of tired.

I'm gonna go to bed.

[yawns]

Oh, god! Elena has a job.
Somebody, help me!

Oh, that's just
two years in.

Wait till you hit 7.

Hello.

You're drunk.

I sense judgment,
which is odd.

You're the one that
wanted me to own a bar.

I wanted you to
own it, damon,

Not pass out on it
every night.

Yeah? Well, that bar's
a lot more affectionate
than you.

Elena: Heh!

I just finished
my residency, damon.

I'm working my but off
to build a career.

Well, i'm drinking
my butt off
building mine.

If you're that unhappy,
then just sell the bar.

And do what?

I don't care, damon.

Whatever it is
you want to do.

Well, that's
the thing, elena.

I can't do
what i want to do

Because what i want
to do is drink
all night

Without
getting drunk,

Drive my car like
a psycho

Without fear
of death.

I want to tear
someone's head off

Without getting
arrested.

You're right, damon.

You can't do any
of those things anymore.

Because of you.

I can't because
of you.

Just say it.

This was
a damn mistake.

You're right.

This was a mistake.

[glass shatters]

Get out of my head!

Unh!

I see what
you're doing.

This isn't about me
being alone.

This is about you
being alone

Without me,
without elena.

Awfully selfish
of you brother.

Even if you
and elena defy

Every single statistic

And stay in love every
hour of every day...

You still can't
control life or death.

She's human.
She could die at any moment.

What is your life
gonna look like

Without her?

[music playing]

[beep]

[microwave beeping]

Woman on tv: I just love
to serve watermelon.

It couldn't be
any more simple.

I do have my own kind of way
of serving it

That is a little
nontraditional,

But as long as no one tells.

So what i'm gonna do
is clean out

The center of that melon,
even though--

[turns off tv]

So you make us
drift apart,

Break us up,
and then kill her?

That's harsh, brother.

She wanted me to
be harsh.

This is her idea, too.

Well, that's funny

Because the two people
closest to me

Are the two
most sadistic.

You know, if you
do this, damon,
you're human forever.

No matter what happens,
there's no going back.

What do you think
i should do?

That's the thing.
I can't tell you,

Elena can't tell you.

You can't do this
for me or for her.

You have to want to be
human for yourself.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, excuse me.
They need some more
drinks over there.

Thank you.

Hey! Where's jo?
Is she--

She's fine.
They discharged her.

Good. Well, there's
a back entrance
she can use

That avoids
being seen.

Ok. I'll tell her.

Great.

-Stefan.
-Hmm?

I'm gonna go wait
for jo.

Ok.

I'm not used to
scaring people away.

People are uncomfortable
around salvatores in tuxes.

It stirs...

Feelings.

Uh-oh. Elena's
human again.

Am i sensing another
brother swap?

Is he with you?

No. He needed
some time to think.

That sounds
very ominous.

You don't want him
to take it, do you?

Well, it's not
up to me.

Stefan, i'm not him.

You can tell me
how you really feel.

Look. Of course,
i don't want him
to take it.

He's my brother.

The thought
of losing him is--

Yeah, i know.

So what do you think
he's gonna do?

Well, you never knew
damon as a human.

He was aimless,

Always searching
for something more,

Sweet and earnest
to a fault

But never strong.

[hammering, tools whirring]

[ball thumps]

That came later

When he
found himself,

When he truly
became damon.

He loves being
a vampire,

And i just don't
think he'll ever
give that up.

She's gonna kill us.

I thought the whole
point of this is that we
were in control of her.

Not lily. Caroline.

The wedding starts
in an hour.

All we have to do
is knock her ass out

And drag her
to the boiler room.

30 minutes tops.

Bonnie.

Enzo must have
let her out.

I have to warn
everyone.

[gasping]

Matt?

Matt, what's wrong?

I can't breathe.

It's like someone's
crushing my throat.

Ok. Just hang on.
I'll--

[gags]

Matt.

[coughing]

[both coughing]

Lily: Tea, please.
Earl grey.

And to what do i
owe the pleasure?

I heard you tried
to bring me
something called

An, uh, mp3 player.

I'm not entirely
sure what that is,

But still, i wanted
to thank you.

And they let you out
of your cell to do this?

Of course not,

But i'm resourceful.

Hmm. Should i be
concerned

About an imminent
ripper binge?

Actually, no,
you shouldn't.

I was a ripper
because i lost
my family,

But today, i'm
getting them back.

[cell phone vibrating]

If you're
trying to organize
a secret rendezvous--

Alaric: Don't worry.
I'm not.

I just need help
with my vows.

What rhymes
with battlefield clamp?

Divorce?

Heh heh heh.
So how are yours coming?

Stop fishing
for spoilers.

You know, this place
is crawling with gemini.

Who knew there were
so many of you?

Well, there's not
much to do in the coven

Other than procreate.

You haven't seen
my dad, have you?

No, actually,
but it's big of you

To invite your
attempted murderer
to your wedding.

He gives
really good gifts.

Oh, and never say,
"big of you,"

To a pregnant woman.

Heh heh.

I hate that i can't
see you right now.

I love that
you hate it.

See you soon.

Bye.

Mr. Parker:
Maybe i should just, uh,

Leave my gift
and go then.

Dad.

What are you doing
back here?

You're my daughter,

And i, um--ahem--

I don't expect you
to say yes,

But...

If i didn't at least
ask to walk you
down the aisle,

I couldn't live
with myself.

You're avoiding me.

What?! No. I'm not
avoiding you.

I'm trying to
organize

This whole
circus here.

I mean, did you see
where they put the bar?

Caroline...

Can we talk?

All right.
Just say it.

I'm wrong, i'm making
this about me,

I'm being selfish.

No. Sorry. Not
wanting to lose
your brother

Is pretty low on
the selfish scale.

Forcing someone
to turn off their
humanity

On the other hand,
that--

Hmm. Yeah. That's, uh--
that's way up there.

Yeah.

Do you hate me?

No. Of course,
i don't hate you.

That doesn't mean
that i don't hate

The way you
handled things.

Well, that makes
two of us.

[music playing]

I made a list...

Of, um, all
the things
that i've done

Since i fell
for you.

It started
last summer

When you
moved away.

I started obsessing
over where you were,

Wondering why you
weren't returning
my calls.

I told you
i hated you

When i felt ignored,

Missed my mom's
final moments

Because i was
kissing you,

And then she died...

Caroline.

And all i needed

Was for you to tell
me that you felt

Something for me,

And you didn't,

And it affected me
so deeply that

I did the worst
possible thing

A vampire can do.

I turned off
my humanity,

And when i thought
i couldn't do
anything else,

I got you to turn
off yours.

Well, i forgive you.

Yeah, but that's
the point, stefan.

The old caroline
wouldn't have
forgiven me.

She would have
smacked me and said,

"what the hell
are you doing?"

I hate the way
that this has
made me feel.

That's because you're
a control freak

Who's lost control.

I feel the same way
when i'm around you.

That's what falling
for somebody is.

It's being vulnerable.

It's...

Giving up control.

I know...

But where i'm at
right now in my life

With the guilt
and the grief,

Control is all
i have,

And i don't think
that i can give
that up.

[music continues]

[sighs]

Hi.

Isn't a bridesmaid's
dress supposed to

Make you look like
a freak of nature?

Heh.

Jo went easy on me.

I talked to stefan.

He did not go
easy on me.

Apparently, that's
your fault.

His argument was
pretty convincing.

I'd made up
my mind...

But then...

You ruined my ball!

Well, you're lucky
i didn't ruin your face!

Go inside,
get the car keys
from your mommy.

I'm going to a wedding.

On second thought.

Don't forget the--

The leftovers.

I know. You told me
3 times.

40 years,
and every time,

"did you remember
the leftovers?"

Like i'm getting
senile or something.

Oh!

Heh heh.

[both chuckling]

Heh.

I'm taking it.

I've been a vampire
for a long time, elena.

It's been a blast,

But i would give it up
in a second to be
your husband,

Your partner,

Father of your kids.

You can't take it
just for me.

That's what you
and stefan keep saying,

But you're wrong.

I can.

I can take it for us.

Ok?

Because even if it
doesn't work,

Even if all goes
to hell,

Even if i'm
miserable and alone,

The smallest chance
at the perfect life
with you

Is infinitely better
than an immortal one
without you,

And i know this, elena.

I love you...

And i will love you
until i take

My last breath
on this earth.

[music playing]

Caroline: Where the hell
are you?

Bonnie and matt are
already m.I.A.,

And now you and damon?

What is wrong with you?
This is a wedding.

This is supposed to be
jo's magical night,

And you are ruining it.

We're starting
without you.

[jo laughing]

This is not funny.

It's kind of funny.

Stefan: Uh, hey. Look.
I don't want to tell you

How to run your
wedding, but--

We're not waiting
anymore!

Tell them to cue the music.

[music playing in distance]

Um, i think
it's starting.

What? No.

What time is it?

Oh, my god.
No. No, no, no.
We're so late.

Well, you're the one
that couldn't keep

Your paws off of me.

Damon, put your tux
back on.

I am, i am.
Heh heh heh.

Well, i hope
it was worth it.

Actually...

Echh. Gross.
Not the time, ok?

Have you seen
bonnie or matt?

They're not here yet?

Ohh. Just go, go.
Go, go, go.

Ok.

[music playing]

Ugh. Bonnie.

Bonnie.

Hey.

It was...

[gasps]

And so?

Looks like i'm
joining the human club.

It's a big night
for both of us.

I'm proud of you.

You, too, buddy.

[music playing]

Reverend: Welcome,
family and friends,

On this magical evening

To the wedding
of alaric saltzman

And josette laughlin.

Josette and alaric have
prepared their own vows.

Ahem.

This can't be it.

No one's here.

Perhaps your
companions gave you
the wrong address.

They're not the ones
who gave me the address.

Then who did?

Alaric: Neither one of us
should be here right now.

We've spent our lives
dodging fate

And beating the odds,

But because we did,

I got to meet you,

The most beautiful,

Hilarious,

And intimidatingly
brilliant woman

I have ever known.

You inspire me.

You've shown me
that happiness

Is actually something
that i can have in my life.

[inhales]

And so...

I promise to be
with you

And love you

And to dodge fate
with you

For the rest
of our lives.

Reverend: Josette?

Oh, god. That's
a tough act
to follow.

Here goes.

Alaric saltzman,
you are--

[slice]

Jo? Jo?

Jo? Oh, my god.

Jo? Jo? Jo?!

Oh, god. No!

Aah! Aah!

[attendees screaming]

No! No, no, no, no.

I was gonna wait till
the "death do us part" bit,

But it seemed
a little on the nose.

[screaming continues]

Am i right?

[high-pitched sound]

[all screaming]

Miss me?

No?

Oh, well.

[screaming continues]