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Previously on The Affair...
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[NOAH] She seemed like the
loneliest girl in the world.
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[ALISON] You know,
some days, I-I'm proud
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of the life that I've built.
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And then, sometimes, it just feels
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like a giant charade,
and this is all a joke
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I've been playing on myself,
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this life that I am trying to live.
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Go home to your fucking wife.
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[GRUNTING AND GROANING]
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[JAMES] They found her body.
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She drowned herself.
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[NOAH] I saw her, and
she was pretty beat up.
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- She had... her head was...
- [JEFFRIES] Lacerations.
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Right, all consistent with striking
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- against these rocks.
- [COLE] What about Ben?
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[JEFFRIES] He has an
alibi. It checks out.
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[COLE] What did you say to her?
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[BEN] I don't know what
the fuck you're asking.
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I'm asking you what you said
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that made her want to kill herself.
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Why don't you take a look
in the fucking mirror!
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- Why didn't you do something?!
- Stop it!
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You had her in your hands,
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and you let her go. Why?
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[HELEN] I took a pregnancy
test this morning.
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You're entering menopause, Helen.
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Don't you think I'm too
young to be in menopause?
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Don't you think I'm too young to die?
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Where you going?
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To my women's moon
circle. I invited you.
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I just had this intuition
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that you really needed some guidance.
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I fucked a married man.
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I really like his wife, so...
it was a stupid thing to do.
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I wish I had your life.
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I mean, you have a whole world
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that literally couldn't
live without you.
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I'm feeling like Vik
isn't listening to me.
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I'm feeling like I want
him to get treatment.
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What he needs you for, the one thing
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you can give him that no one else
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in the world can, is your love.
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Helen.
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I don't want you to die.
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I don't want to die, either.
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♪ I was screaming into the canyon ♪
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♪ At the moment of my death ♪
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♪ The echo I created ♪
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♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪
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♪ My voice it made an avalanche ♪
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♪ And buried a man I never knew ♪
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♪ And when he died, his widowed bride ♪
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♪ Met your daddy and they made you ♪
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♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
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♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
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♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
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♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
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♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
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♪ Sink back into the ocean,
sink back into the ocean ♪
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♪ Sink back into the o... ♪
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♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
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♪ Sink back into the o... ♪
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♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
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♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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[A CAPPELLA GROUP VOCALIZING
INTRO TO "WHAT SARAH SAID"]
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_
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♪ And it came to me then ♪
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♪ That every plan ♪
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♪ Is a tiny prayer ♪
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♪ To Father Time ♪
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♪ As I stared at my shoes ♪
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♪ In the ICU ♪
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♪ That reeked of piss ♪
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♪ And 409 ♪
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♪ And I rationed my breaths ♪
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♪ As I said to myself ♪
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♪ That I'd already taken
too much today... ♪
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Hey, Cole, uh...
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do me a favor, man.
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When-when you get this, give me a call.
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I'd really like to help
with the arrangements.
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♪ Took you a little farther ♪
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♪ Away from me ♪
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Hey, man.
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You look great.
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- Surprised?
- [NOAH CHUCKLES]
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- You ready?
- Yeah.
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Let's do this.
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- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [ARIEL] Okay!
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Good morning, good morning.
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[CHATTER QUIETS]
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So... [CLEARS THROAT]
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in a move designed
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to keep you all on the
very tips of your toes,
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I read your stories from last week
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in an uncharacteristically
timely fashion.
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Some were very, very good,
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while others... well, all I can say is
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I hope the rest of your
classes are going well.
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- [LIGHT LAUGHTER]
- But before we commence,
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let me call your attention
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to our special guest.
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This gentlemen here is...
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Noah fucking Solloway.
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[LAUGHTER]
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[ARIEL] Noah fucking Solloway, indeed.
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The man wholly responsible
for the fact that I smoked
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Parliament Lights for nearly two decades
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because in college he made
it look so tragically cool.
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Mr. Solloway, can I just
fanboy out for a second?
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I mean, you're the reason
why I became a writer.
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I'm happy to hear it.
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I love the way you write women.
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You do?
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Alana's my favorite, like,
contemporary character.
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When she gives that speech
at the end of Descent
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about feeling like a figment of
other people's imagination...
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how'd you know that?
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Yeah, seriously.
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Uh, well, to be honest,
writing character
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is all about listening to people.
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And, uh, the place I
really learned to listen
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was in a seminar like this one
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a million years ago,
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with Ariel sitting next to me.
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[CHUCKLES]
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Noah has with him today
a prospective student.
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Uh, guys, this is Antony.
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Anton.
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Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.
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No, it's fine.
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You can call me Antony if you want.
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[LAUGHTER]
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[ARIEL] Anton is visiting from L.A.
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Where else you looking, bro?
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Um, just here, actually.
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Couple state colleges in California.
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I'm from Chicago, South Side.
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We should talk after class.
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We shall, man. That'd be cool.
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[FEMALE STUDENT] Before
he entirely turns you off,
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this place isn't so bad.
It's pretty woke.
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- [LAUGHTER]
- My God, Gabby.
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What?
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We have a residential college
named for a segregationist.
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And the School of Public Policy.
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Yeah, but we fought like hell
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- to get his name removed.
- We didn't win.
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- We got the mural taken down.
- Oh, the mural. What a win.
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Oh, hey. I didn't see you
at the protest, Zac.
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I had rehearsal.
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- [LAUGHTER]
- It's cool, guys.
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I actually really like it here.
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Okay, so then let's get going.
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May our pens be our swords.
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Today's prompt is a quote from Whitman.
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This one's for you.
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"Do I contradict myself?
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Very well, then.
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I contradict myself.
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I am large.
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I contain multitudes."
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Write a character sketch
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of a person who has a contradiction.
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A paradox.
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Show, don't tell.
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You have 15 minutes.
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Uh, can I borrow a couple
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- pieces of paper?
- Mm-hmm.
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- [PAPER TEARING]
- [ANTON] Thank you.
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How you holding up?
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How's Joanie?
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Yeah.
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I don't know what you tell her, either.
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Me?
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Yeah.
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Sure. No, I'd love to.
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I don't know. I'll think about it.
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Maybe something from a book she loved.
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Yeah.
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00:08:13,730 --> 00:08:15,420
Okay, is there anything else you need?
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I'll be there tomorrow morning.
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Uh, he's great. He's, uh...
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I think he likes it here.
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[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
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Will do. You, too.
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Oh.
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00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:32,900
- Hey, stranger.
- Hey.
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Damn, Hoffman. Leaves of Grass.
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Diving deep.
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Thank you for this.
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Stop. Are you kidding?
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I was thrilled to hear from you.
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What's it been, 20 years?
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00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,150
No. Can't be.
201
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,190
I was at your last book party.
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00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:53,779
- You were?
- Yeah.
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00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:55,100
Brooklyn Heights?
204
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,119
The one about the
sisters, Siamese twins?
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00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,580
That was three books ago.
206
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:00,620
What?
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00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:02,740
God, you were always so prolific.
208
00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:04,520
You say it as if it's a bad thing.
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00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:05,819
It's not a bad thing.
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It's just emasculating.
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00:09:07,570 --> 00:09:09,400
Uh, if I remember correctly,
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00:09:09,430 --> 00:09:11,820
you're hard to emasculate.
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00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,900
So, this is nice.
214
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,190
What you're doing for this kid.
215
00:09:18,270 --> 00:09:21,480
Yeah, well, he's, you know...
he's... he's very talented.
216
00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:23,570
He just needs a... a way in.
217
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,100
- He's your student?
- Mm-hmm.
218
00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:26,360
Where?
219
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,730
At a charter school in South L.A.
220
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:30,659
I didn't realize you
moved to California.
221
00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:32,500
When did that happen?
222
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:35,979
Well, Helen's boyfriend got a
fancy job in L.A., so I...
223
00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:37,860
Wait. What?
224
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,620
You guys split?
225
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,060
- Yeah. You didn't know?
- When?
226
00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:44,780
Years ago. I mean, well,
it was in the news.
227
00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:46,730
You don't read the paper?
228
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,400
Not if I can help it.
229
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,020
I read novels mostly.
Memoir, if pressed.
230
00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:53,280
You haven't changed at all.
231
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,040
Wow.
232
00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:58,230
Noah and Helen.
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00:09:58,860 --> 00:10:00,820
Requiescat in pace.
234
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,480
Yeah. Thanks.
235
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,860
I thought you guys were
gonna last forever.
236
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:06,920
You were campus celebrities.
237
00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:10,070
Yeah, well...
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00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:11,610
plans change.
239
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,150
They really do.
240
00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:14,860
So, what happened?
241
00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:16,560
Was it her dad?
242
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,360
You remember him?
243
00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:21,550
I remember that she thought
she kind of thought
244
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,350
she was slumming it with you
245
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,430
and you thought you found
your golden goose.
246
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,440
Damn, Ariel.
247
00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:28,240
You really were paying attention.
248
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,730
Well, I had a crush.
249
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:37,110
I spent most of college
waiting for an opening,
250
00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:39,760
but... it never came.
251
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:41,570
[CHUCKLES]
252
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,480
I'd say you dodged a bullet.
253
00:10:46,570 --> 00:10:47,730
[CHUCKLES]
254
00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:49,270
Yeah.
255
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,660
Looking back, I could
have predicted that.
256
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,500
I think you had the world
a little bit too much
257
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,230
at your fingertips, didn't you?
258
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,439
Yeah, I was a...
259
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,400
I was an asshole for a long time, but...
260
00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:00,649
What about you?
261
00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:03,019
I mean, chair of the English department.
262
00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:04,360
Multiple best sellers.
263
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,230
Things worked out pretty well.
264
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,730
I had a cancer scare last year.
265
00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:11,280
I'm fine... they cut it out... but...
266
00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:14,400
I am feeling pretty lucky these days.
267
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,730
I have this new boyfriend.
268
00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:18,940
He's a composer, Brazilian.
269
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:21,480
- Hot.
- Yeah, right? [CHUCKLES]
270
00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:23,000
Kids?
271
00:11:23,730 --> 00:11:25,080
No.
272
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,270
Never had time.
273
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:28,860
Biggest regret.
274
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,570
You?
275
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,190
Yeah. I've got four of them.
276
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,320
What?
277
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,400
Jesus, Helen, nice work.
278
00:11:39,070 --> 00:11:43,640
Yeah, I don't see too
much of them, but I try.
279
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,060
Did you ever remarry?
280
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,360
Yeah, I did.
281
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:52,920
Oh?
282
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,780
Tell me about her.
283
00:11:54,860 --> 00:11:56,570
Well, she's, uh...
284
00:11:58,690 --> 00:12:00,680
She's dead.
285
00:12:01,070 --> 00:12:02,230
She died.
286
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,060
Just a few days ago.
287
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,650
Noah...
288
00:12:08,690 --> 00:12:11,180
Wh-What are you even doing here?
289
00:12:13,270 --> 00:12:16,160
Uh... what do you mean?
290
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,190
Uh... are you okay?
291
00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:21,190
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm...
292
00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:24,980
I mean, I'm sad, obviously, but, uh...
293
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,300
- I'm fine.
- [CELL PHONE ALARM RINGING]
294
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,620
Shall we?
295
00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:39,070
Okay, guys, that's time.
296
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:40,900
So...
297
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,980
Who wants to start us off?
298
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,610
Anton, how about you?
299
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,030
You don't have to.
300
00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:56,520
Hey, I'll read.
301
00:12:58,030 --> 00:13:00,160
Yeah. [CLEARS THROAT]
302
00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:07,360
Okay.
303
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,140
Here goes.
304
00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:11,610
[TAKES DEEP BREATH]
305
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:13,099
"You can tell he used to be
306
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,600
kind of cool when he was younger.
307
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,440
Something about the way
he wears his jeans.
308
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,280
Or maybe it's the way he carries himself
309
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,110
with a certain swagger.
310
00:13:22,190 --> 00:13:23,900
Most of the teachers,
311
00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:25,780
they were there because they had to be.
312
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:27,440
And we knew that.
313
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,299
But not him.
314
00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:30,980
He was a big-time author.
315
00:13:31,070 --> 00:13:33,400
He was there because he wanted to be.
316
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,320
Because he cared so much about us.
317
00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:38,660
Because he was a good man.
318
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,079
He'd wave George Orwell
around like they were peers
319
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,040
and weep over Eliot.
320
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,269
I had never seen anybody cry
321
00:13:47,270 --> 00:13:49,030
over a poem before.
322
00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:51,440
I wanted to be just like
him when I grew up.
323
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,070
So smart, so worldly.
324
00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:57,350
Wanted to have that kind of grace
325
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,070
resting on my shoulders.
326
00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:00,700
To move through the world
327
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,780
like it was a woman who belonged to me.
328
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,650
We took a trip together.
329
00:14:05,730 --> 00:14:08,640
He didn't have to do it, but he offered.
330
00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:11,440
Because he believes in me.
331
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,610
He believes in my future.
332
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:16,460
Also, he's fucking my mother.
333
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,230
But that doesn't matter,
because he cares.
334
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,180
Look how he parts the seas
335
00:14:23,190 --> 00:14:25,700
for a boy like me to
walk right into Canaan.
336
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,659
He's got kids of his own, you know.
337
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,570
He never really talks about them.
338
00:14:30,650 --> 00:14:32,230
Makes you kind of wonder why.
339
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:33,940
Nothing affects him.
340
00:14:34,030 --> 00:14:36,780
Everything seems to roll
right off of his back.
341
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:40,220
Everything is hard for me.
342
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,140
I put on a good act, but on the inside,
343
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,150
I'm checking every gesture,
every facial expression.
344
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,819
I stand in front of the mirror at night,
345
00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:52,480
and I practice how to smile.
346
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:55,660
Not too much; just the right amount.
347
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,799
Do you have to be white
348
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,400
to move through the world like that,
349
00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:02,000
with that kind of confidence,
350
00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:03,940
or is it something else?
351
00:15:04,030 --> 00:15:06,440
Some kind of sociopathy, maybe.
352
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,610
Is there really a difference?"
353
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,540
That's all I have.
354
00:15:17,820 --> 00:15:19,780
[APPLAUSE]
355
00:15:25,260 --> 00:15:30,260
[CELL PHONE BUZZING]
356
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,190
[BUZZING STOPS]
357
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,110
[ANTON] Yo.
358
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,110
Mr. Solloway.
359
00:15:39,610 --> 00:15:40,939
You okay?
360
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,610
No, I'm not okay, Anton.
361
00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:44,540
What the fuck was that?
362
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:47,200
- What? In class?
- Yes, in class.
363
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,350
I'm busting my ass for you.
I've driven across
364
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,219
the entire fucking country
to bring you here,
365
00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:52,920
and all this time, that's
what you think of me?
366
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:54,219
I thought you'd be proud.
367
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,520
Are you insane?
368
00:15:55,610 --> 00:15:57,110
I did well in there.
369
00:15:57,420 --> 00:15:59,080
I kicked ass, actually.
370
00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:00,200
I'm definitely getting back in.
371
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,600
- And that's all you care about?
- Look, I wrote that piece
372
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:04,086
because I knew that's what they wanted.
373
00:16:04,110 --> 00:16:05,700
And they ate that shit up.
374
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,500
- What are you talking about?
- I mean, they started the class
375
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,360
talking about fucking segregation.
376
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,390
Okay, I heard that, and
I was like, "Okay.
377
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,160
I understand the role
y'all want me to play."
378
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,819
Jesus Christ.
379
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,860
When in Rome, right?
380
00:16:17,190 --> 00:16:18,940
You can't take people's lives, Anton.
381
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,890
You can't fucking use people
to get what you want.
382
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:24,540
That's... that-that is fucking
sociopathic behavior.
383
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,230
I thought that was
called being a writer.
384
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,699
Well, you don't understand
the first thing
385
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:29,800
about being a writer.
386
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,400
Really?
387
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,680
So, Descent, Alana,
388
00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:36,070
that wasn't about your dead wife?
389
00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:38,420
Fuck you.
390
00:16:38,460 --> 00:16:40,900
- Noah, what are you even doing here?
- I'm trying to help you.
391
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:41,960
That's what I'm fucking doing here.
392
00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:44,400
Okay, but your wife, she just died.
393
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,840
Shouldn't you be there?
394
00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:50,979
You shouldn't be here, okay?
395
00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:53,520
This is... it's weird.
396
00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:56,100
Wow, that's a hell of a
way to say thank you.
397
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,860
[A CAPPELLA GROUP VOCALIZING]
398
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,216
Look, it's late. We better
get to the airport.
399
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,099
Actually thought I'd stick
around for a couple hours,
400
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:07,299
check out the campus some more.
401
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:08,640
Yeah, well, I promised
your mother I'd put you
402
00:17:08,650 --> 00:17:11,230
- back on a plane, so let's go.
- Hey, look. See this?
403
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,020
It's called an iPhone.
404
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,450
Okay, it has maps and a
clock and this thing
405
00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:16,730
called the Internet.
406
00:17:16,820 --> 00:17:18,840
And I can call a cab whenever I want.
407
00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:22,900
I'm 19 years old. I'll be fine.
408
00:17:26,110 --> 00:17:27,480
You sure?
409
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,230
Sure.
410
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,260
You should take care of yourself.
411
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,160
- It's been a long week.
- Yeah.
412
00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:36,230
I need to buy a fucking suit.
413
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,700
There's got to be a Brooks
Brothers around here somewhere.
414
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,080
This place is like a fucking mall.
415
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,740
So, you gonna go?
416
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,980
I might.
417
00:17:57,730 --> 00:17:59,070
Hey, Noah.
418
00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:00,740
[QUIET, ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC]
419
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:02,420
Thank you.
420
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:04,360
Don't mention it.
421
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,320
Seriously.
422
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,860
I had fun.
423
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,440
Sorry about Alison.
424
00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:17,360
Yeah. Me, too.
425
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,540
Me, too.
426
00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:27,880
♪ ♪
427
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,200
[QUIET CHATTER, LAUGHTER]
428
00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:50,100
_
429
00:18:58,060 --> 00:18:59,239
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
430
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:00,399
[LUISA] Cole?
431
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,920
You okay?
432
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,690
Baby, we don't want to be late.
433
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,900
[SIGHS]
434
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,610
[INDISTINCT PROGRAM PLAYING OVER TV]
435
00:19:12,690 --> 00:19:14,760
[LUISA] Hey, Cole.
436
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,030
Can you help me with this, please?
437
00:19:23,570 --> 00:19:24,940
Thank you.
438
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,440
Um, I put the candles in the trunk.
439
00:19:29,650 --> 00:19:32,000
The votives Athena asked for?
440
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:35,860
[TV STOPS PLAYING]
441
00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:37,650
I was watching that.
442
00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:39,689
We should get you dressed.
443
00:19:39,690 --> 00:19:41,110
[SIGHS]
444
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:50,420
Want me to unpack these for you?
445
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,700
No, I'll take care of it later.
446
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:56,070
But you've been back two days.
447
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,270
Exactly. It's only been two days.
448
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,570
But you're planning to unpack, right?
449
00:20:08,650 --> 00:20:10,440
I mean, eventually?
450
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,960
[TAKES DEEP BREATH]
451
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:18,780
Look, Cole, I...
452
00:20:18,860 --> 00:20:22,070
don't want to have a big
conversation right now, but...
453
00:20:22,150 --> 00:20:24,250
I need to know your plans,
454
00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:27,360
- what to tell Joanie.
- I have no idea what to tell Joanie.
455
00:20:27,570 --> 00:20:29,140
That her mother just killed herself?
456
00:20:29,150 --> 00:20:30,270
Should I start with that?
457
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,480
I just need a second, please.
458
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,030
Please, I just need to get dressed,
459
00:20:47,110 --> 00:20:48,730
and I need to bury Alison,
460
00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:51,320
and then we can talk for
as long as you like.
461
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,280
We can talk all night if you want.
462
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,110
Okay?
463
00:20:56,190 --> 00:20:59,100
Yeah. Yeah.
464
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,480
[SIGHS]
465
00:21:06,980 --> 00:21:09,600
♪ This land is your land ♪
466
00:21:09,620 --> 00:21:11,880
♪ This land is my land ♪
467
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:14,270
- ♪ From California ♪
- [TURN SIGNAL TICKING]
468
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,200
- [JOANIE] ♪ To the New York island ♪
- Wait, baby, where are you going?
469
00:21:17,780 --> 00:21:18,980
To the church.
470
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,360
No, Athena moved the
service to the beach.
471
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:24,820
Why didn't you tell me?
472
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:26,360
I did.
473
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,150
[SIGHS]
474
00:21:28,170 --> 00:21:31,360
[TIRES SQUEAL, HORN HONKS]
475
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:36,400
[HORN HONKING]
476
00:21:46,690 --> 00:21:49,100
♪ This land is your land ♪
477
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,610
♪ This land is my land ♪
478
00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:53,960
[JOANIE JOINS IN] ♪ From California ♪
479
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,440
♪ To the New York island ♪
480
00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:01,040
♪ From the Redwood Forest
to the Gulf Stream waters ♪
481
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:02,980
[QUIET, ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC]
482
00:22:03,070 --> 00:22:06,100
♪ ♪
483
00:22:13,650 --> 00:22:17,100
[QUIET, INDISTINCT CHATTER]
484
00:22:21,110 --> 00:22:22,320
Nice turnout, huh?
485
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:31,520
It's a fucking clown car.
486
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,080
[ATHENA] ... traditional
mourning color in China.
487
00:22:51,110 --> 00:22:53,650
You know, purity, which I think
is more important than...
488
00:22:53,660 --> 00:22:54,860
What the fuck, Athena?
489
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,580
[SIGHS]
490
00:22:57,570 --> 00:22:58,900
[BOTH SIGH]
491
00:22:58,980 --> 00:23:00,280
[SOFTLY] Cole.
492
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,679
Thank you for being here, Cole.
493
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,230
Where else would I be?
494
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,860
Alison's at peace now.
495
00:23:08,940 --> 00:23:09,980
Don't you think?
496
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,000
What is that?
497
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,360
That's our Alison.
498
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,860
I told you I wanted to bury her.
499
00:23:16,940 --> 00:23:19,610
I understand that's
what you wanted, Cole,
500
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:21,900
but this is what she would have wanted.
501
00:23:21,980 --> 00:23:23,570
A beaching ceremony.
502
00:23:23,650 --> 00:23:25,320
After the service,
503
00:23:25,330 --> 00:23:27,850
everyone will get a little
bit of Alison's ashes
504
00:23:27,860 --> 00:23:31,120
to bury in the sand,
and then we meditate,
505
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,060
we sing, we celebrate,
506
00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:37,400
as we wait for the tide to rise
507
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,040
and wash her back into the sea.
508
00:23:40,060 --> 00:23:42,520
[SOBBING]
509
00:23:42,610 --> 00:23:45,140
Doesn't that sound like something
Alison would have loved?
510
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,400
She would have hated this.
511
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,120
Alison hated the ocean.
512
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,120
And we agreed that she
was going to be buried
513
00:23:52,150 --> 00:23:53,880
in my family's plot next to Gabriel.
514
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:55,950
But, Cole, sweetheart,
why would we bury her
515
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,819
with your family? She's my daughter.
516
00:23:57,820 --> 00:23:59,520
She's my wife.
517
00:24:08,230 --> 00:24:09,820
I'm sorry for your loss.
518
00:24:09,900 --> 00:24:13,380
My darling, I'm sorry for your loss.
519
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,050
Okay, we should get started.
520
00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:17,780
Let's get started, everyone.
521
00:24:19,820 --> 00:24:21,730
[QUIET, AMBIENT MUSIC]
522
00:24:21,820 --> 00:24:27,360
♪ ♪
523
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,730
Thank you all for coming.
524
00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:32,480
Oh, my darlings.
525
00:24:32,570 --> 00:24:36,070
I haven't prepared a eulogy.
526
00:24:37,230 --> 00:24:39,219
I don't, um, believe
527
00:24:39,220 --> 00:24:42,380
that memorials should be
dictatorships with one voice.
528
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,070
How can I speak to the Alison you knew
529
00:24:46,150 --> 00:24:47,860
when she was with you?
530
00:24:47,940 --> 00:24:49,610
To you?
531
00:24:49,690 --> 00:24:51,470
You all deserve
532
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,730
a chance to say good-bye
in your own way.
533
00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:56,219
And so...
534
00:24:56,220 --> 00:24:57,439
[SIGHS]
535
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,339
before we, um, distribute ashes
536
00:25:00,340 --> 00:25:02,040
for the beaching ceremony,
537
00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:03,780
we'll pass her around
538
00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:05,940
and hold her one last time.
539
00:25:06,030 --> 00:25:08,270
And when she comes to you...
540
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,080
... you hold her close to
your heart and say good-bye.
541
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,220
I'll begin.
542
00:25:15,940 --> 00:25:17,800
If I can. [CHUCKLES]
543
00:25:28,580 --> 00:25:30,540
Oh, my baby.
544
00:25:30,650 --> 00:25:32,690
I remember... [SNIFFS]
545
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,720
God, one time when you were little,
546
00:25:35,820 --> 00:25:38,079
you brought home a...
547
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,939
a lizard tail.
548
00:25:39,940 --> 00:25:41,600
Just the tail.
549
00:25:41,860 --> 00:25:43,659
You learned about regeneration
550
00:25:43,660 --> 00:25:45,269
in school, and you were sure
551
00:25:45,270 --> 00:25:49,140
that life could work backwards.
552
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,400
That this tail could
regenerate the beast.
553
00:25:56,580 --> 00:26:01,820
Oh, I wish I could
regenerate you now, my girl.
554
00:26:04,610 --> 00:26:06,240
But...
555
00:26:07,230 --> 00:26:08,800
I know that's selfish.
556
00:26:08,820 --> 00:26:12,190
That... that would stop my pain.
557
00:26:12,270 --> 00:26:15,560
You, my darling,
558
00:26:16,260 --> 00:26:20,360
who had so much pain in your short life,
559
00:26:22,620 --> 00:26:25,020
you're finally at peace.
560
00:26:35,270 --> 00:26:37,650
Oh, Jesus, this is difficult.
561
00:26:45,780 --> 00:26:47,360
Alison, you were magic.
562
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,690
You were light. You...
563
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,070
You made me believe that anything
564
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,320
and everything is possible.
565
00:26:57,650 --> 00:26:59,360
You were wild.
566
00:27:01,140 --> 00:27:04,020
You were brave. You...
567
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,650
You took nothing for granted.
568
00:27:08,730 --> 00:27:10,420
[SNIFFS]
569
00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:13,400
And you made me see the
world with new eyes.
570
00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:15,640
With wonder.
571
00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:20,060
Where does that spirit go now?
572
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:21,730
I don't understand.
573
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,480
How could you of all people be gone?
574
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,880
You were, uh...
575
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:38,190
You were so empathetic,
576
00:27:38,270 --> 00:27:41,400
so concerned with the
suffering of others,
577
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,520
including me.
578
00:27:43,610 --> 00:27:45,479
[ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC]
579
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,980
♪ ♪
580
00:27:52,820 --> 00:27:58,340
♪ ♪
581
00:28:08,780 --> 00:28:13,740
♪ ♪
582
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,110
[WOMAN] Cole.
583
00:28:39,740 --> 00:28:41,690
[QUIET SIGH]
584
00:28:41,780 --> 00:28:43,650
[HYPNOTIC, ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC]
585
00:28:43,730 --> 00:28:49,080
♪ ♪
586
00:29:03,610 --> 00:29:07,900
[PANTING]
587
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,320
[GRUNTING, PANTING]
588
00:29:20,110 --> 00:29:21,690
[COUGHS]
589
00:29:32,030 --> 00:29:34,520
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
590
00:29:35,650 --> 00:29:38,340
So, what's the plan here?
591
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,270
There is no plan.
592
00:29:43,900 --> 00:29:46,820
[SIGHS] Funerals bring
out the worst in people.
593
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,340
Alison's gone, Cole.
594
00:29:54,420 --> 00:29:57,070
It doesn't matter where she's buried.
595
00:29:57,150 --> 00:30:00,650
So, why not just let
Athena have her moment
596
00:30:00,730 --> 00:30:03,470
as chief mourner so we can all go home
597
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,730
to a more private grief?
598
00:30:07,650 --> 00:30:09,420
No.
599
00:30:10,900 --> 00:30:12,760
You're not the only one who loved her.
600
00:30:13,380 --> 00:30:15,200
Don't I know it.
601
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,180
Look, Cole...
602
00:30:24,860 --> 00:30:26,500
I know you're in pain.
603
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,950
And you may not want to
hear this right now,
604
00:30:29,980 --> 00:30:31,440
but so are the rest of us.
605
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,570
We're all reeling.
606
00:30:35,110 --> 00:30:36,940
And that ceremony, it...
607
00:30:38,730 --> 00:30:40,659
It meant a great deal to Athena,
608
00:30:40,660 --> 00:30:42,730
who is her mother.
609
00:30:42,820 --> 00:30:45,030
You know... [SIGHS]
610
00:30:45,110 --> 00:30:47,690
if she was still my wife,
611
00:30:47,780 --> 00:30:50,439
I would have got to choose
what happened to the body,
612
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:52,260
and nobody would've questioned it.
613
00:30:59,570 --> 00:31:01,700
I'm sorry.
614
00:31:02,980 --> 00:31:05,270
Why'd you do it?
615
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:06,900
Why her?
616
00:31:11,730 --> 00:31:13,940
I was unhappy.
617
00:31:15,730 --> 00:31:18,200
Did she make you happy?
618
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,070
She made me happy.
619
00:31:29,150 --> 00:31:31,320
[QUIET, ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC]
620
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:36,560
♪ ♪
621
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,620
[SIGHS]
622
00:31:54,190 --> 00:31:56,520
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
623
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,030
How many times you think we've had sex?
624
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,360
I have no fucking idea.
625
00:32:11,690 --> 00:32:13,610
Ten thousand?
626
00:32:16,260 --> 00:32:17,860
Yeah.
627
00:32:19,190 --> 00:32:20,820
Yeah, maybe.
628
00:32:23,230 --> 00:32:26,200
♪ ♪
629
00:32:46,070 --> 00:32:48,230
- What about you?
- [SHUSHES]
630
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,400
Just hold my hand.
631
00:33:00,230 --> 00:33:01,399
[GASPS]
632
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,190
[CHERRY] Oh. Did I scare you?
633
00:33:05,730 --> 00:33:07,320
[GROANS] No.
634
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,560
No.
635
00:33:10,660 --> 00:33:12,230
[SIGHS]
636
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,190
[GRUNTS]
637
00:33:15,270 --> 00:33:17,460
Athena sent you?
638
00:33:18,110 --> 00:33:19,659
She must really be getting desperate.
639
00:33:19,660 --> 00:33:20,940
Athena didn't send me.
640
00:33:20,950 --> 00:33:22,740
I brought you something to eat.
641
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,900
And I thought you might
be a little cold.
642
00:33:24,980 --> 00:33:26,019
Yeah.
643
00:33:26,020 --> 00:33:29,110
[TAKES DEEP BREATH]
644
00:33:30,820 --> 00:33:33,140
Chicken salad from the memorial.
645
00:33:33,570 --> 00:33:34,940
I'm not hungry.
646
00:33:35,030 --> 00:33:37,270
I know, but you have to eat something.
647
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,230
[SIGHS]
648
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,760
How are you feeling?
649
00:33:53,190 --> 00:33:55,720
I feel terrible.
650
00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:58,070
I know, honey.
651
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,740
It takes time.
652
00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:04,540
How did you do it?
653
00:34:05,900 --> 00:34:08,440
When Dad died, how did you move on?
654
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,200
Did I?
655
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:13,720
I'm glad you think so.
656
00:34:13,940 --> 00:34:16,100
I always hoped for you and your brothers
657
00:34:16,110 --> 00:34:17,739
that I was strong
658
00:34:17,740 --> 00:34:20,440
and that you felt safe.
659
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,900
Because inside... phew.
660
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,660
After he killed himself,
I broke five watch bands
661
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:30,320
in the span of two weeks.
662
00:34:32,940 --> 00:34:35,940
I was always pulling at them.
663
00:34:37,110 --> 00:34:38,920
Yanking at my wrists,
664
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,940
trying to figure out what
to do with all my anger.
665
00:34:44,780 --> 00:34:47,420
It takes time.
666
00:34:49,030 --> 00:34:51,120
I was coming back for her.
667
00:34:52,780 --> 00:34:56,060
[TAKES DEEP BREATH]
668
00:34:58,190 --> 00:35:00,320
I drove across the entire country
669
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,030
to come and get her, but I was too late.
670
00:35:09,070 --> 00:35:11,980
I am always too late.
671
00:35:14,460 --> 00:35:15,860
Oh, baby.
672
00:35:15,870 --> 00:35:17,610
It isn't your fault.
673
00:35:17,690 --> 00:35:20,260
None of this was.
674
00:35:20,900 --> 00:35:23,820
I don't understand what I'm
supposed to do with this.
675
00:35:23,900 --> 00:35:26,460
[TAKES DEEP BREATH]
676
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,000
I don't think I can carry it.
677
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,860
- You can.
- What if I can't?
678
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,900
- I know you can.
- But what if I can't?
679
00:35:32,980 --> 00:35:34,570
Dad couldn't.
680
00:35:36,980 --> 00:35:38,840
And I get it now.
681
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,900
Oh, I mean, to just go to sleep,
682
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,520
to... to never wake up in pain again.
683
00:35:46,540 --> 00:35:47,940
I know. Here's the thing.
684
00:35:48,030 --> 00:35:49,980
You're not like your dad.
685
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,960
You're not a Lockhart. You're a McGinty.
686
00:35:53,700 --> 00:35:55,360
You're like me.
687
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,190
You're a survivor. You're a fighter.
688
00:35:58,270 --> 00:36:01,020
You told me I am exactly like Dad.
689
00:36:01,270 --> 00:36:03,599
Well, if I did, then I was wrong.
690
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,770
- No, but...
- Sweetie, there are people
691
00:36:05,780 --> 00:36:07,440
in the world like your father.
692
00:36:07,460 --> 00:36:08,660
Like Alison.
693
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,570
Magical, special people.
694
00:36:12,180 --> 00:36:14,480
And we love them for
their sensitive souls,
695
00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:17,110
and we love them for
burning so brightly.
696
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,260
But I think I always
knew your father was...
697
00:36:23,150 --> 00:36:24,860
ephemeral,
698
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,400
even before he...
699
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,780
I mean, that's why I
sent him to California.
700
00:36:28,860 --> 00:36:32,070
That's why I let him have Nan.
701
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,299
'Cause I-I knew somehow, deep inside,
702
00:36:35,300 --> 00:36:37,610
I couldn't keep him forever.
703
00:36:37,690 --> 00:36:41,400
He wasn't solid, like you and me.
704
00:36:42,860 --> 00:36:45,110
He was made of too much air.
705
00:36:46,230 --> 00:36:48,230
So you knew about Nan.
706
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:55,060
Then you sent me out
there to... find her?
707
00:36:56,030 --> 00:36:57,880
- Why?
- I don't know, Cole.
708
00:36:57,900 --> 00:37:02,020
I think I wanted you
to see that life is...
709
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:05,320
God, I... it's messy, honey.
710
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,459
And you've had more mess,
711
00:37:07,460 --> 00:37:09,649
more tragedy in your life
712
00:37:09,650 --> 00:37:11,400
than most people.
713
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,900
And your answer, like mine,
714
00:37:14,980 --> 00:37:16,839
is to try and take control,
715
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,220
and sometimes you just can't.
716
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:22,440
And I want to tell you
that the worst of it
717
00:37:22,470 --> 00:37:24,460
is just behind you and that it's...
718
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,940
it's all gonna get
better from here on out.
719
00:37:27,030 --> 00:37:28,940
And I hope it does.
720
00:37:29,980 --> 00:37:33,040
Baby, it might not, and...
721
00:37:33,980 --> 00:37:35,730
All I've ever wanted,
722
00:37:35,820 --> 00:37:38,400
all that I wish for you,
723
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,860
is for you to know you're strong
724
00:37:41,940 --> 00:37:44,440
and you can survive.
725
00:37:45,100 --> 00:37:47,220
So you can be the shelter for Joanie
726
00:37:47,230 --> 00:37:49,610
the way I tried to shelter you.
727
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,840
[COLE TAKES DEEP BREATH]
728
00:38:00,940 --> 00:38:03,890
Oh, not everyone gets to grow old, Cole,
729
00:38:03,900 --> 00:38:05,300
but if I had to bet...
730
00:38:07,610 --> 00:38:09,690
I would say that you will.
731
00:38:13,980 --> 00:38:16,210
And the sooner that you understand that
732
00:38:16,220 --> 00:38:19,570
as the great, radical gift it is,
733
00:38:19,650 --> 00:38:24,150
the sooner that you start
to think of what you have
734
00:38:24,170 --> 00:38:26,080
instead of what you've lost...
735
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,520
... the happier you and your
little girl are gonna be.
736
00:38:31,610 --> 00:38:33,520
[DRONING, ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC]
737
00:38:33,610 --> 00:38:39,240
♪ ♪
738
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:44,560
♪ ♪
739
00:39:01,820 --> 00:39:03,940
Is Joanie asleep?
740
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,120
Yep.
741
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:12,800
Thank you.
742
00:39:13,980 --> 00:39:16,270
I love her.
743
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,190
I know you do.
744
00:39:25,270 --> 00:39:27,900
Whatever happened to
those hardship papers?
745
00:39:28,030 --> 00:39:29,320
I think we should get 'em filed.
746
00:39:29,330 --> 00:39:30,960
[SIGHS]
747
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,440
It's too late.
748
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:36,610
No, we're done.
749
00:39:39,110 --> 00:39:40,660
Luisa, I'm sorry.
750
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,610
Cole, just listen to me for once.
751
00:39:42,690 --> 00:39:44,650
We're done.
752
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,340
I know we're done.
753
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,980
And I'm sorry for
everything that I said.
754
00:39:53,900 --> 00:39:56,360
And I'm sorry for the
things that I've done.
755
00:39:56,980 --> 00:39:59,020
You deserve better than that.
756
00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:02,610
We don't have to split up.
757
00:40:02,690 --> 00:40:04,440
We can stay married.
758
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,600
At least on paper.
759
00:40:07,270 --> 00:40:10,040
And we'll make you
Joanie's legal guardian,
760
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,020
and we'll finally get
you your citizenship.
761
00:40:15,900 --> 00:40:18,600
[TAKES DEEP BREATH]
762
00:40:19,030 --> 00:40:20,280
[CHUCKLES]
763
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,320
What are we gonna tell Joanie?
764
00:40:27,980 --> 00:40:29,940
Right now I think I...
765
00:40:31,420 --> 00:40:34,320
I'd just like to take
her on a little trip.
766
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,220
[TAKES DEEP BREATH]
767
00:40:36,260 --> 00:40:39,960
Just the two of us, to...
768
00:40:40,690 --> 00:40:43,520
get away from here for a little while.
769
00:40:46,220 --> 00:40:48,050
When she gets back, she's gonna need
770
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:49,980
all the love she can get.
771
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:53,460
And she needs you, Luisa.
772
00:41:00,150 --> 00:41:03,820
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
773
00:41:05,190 --> 00:41:07,150
What does that mean?
774
00:41:08,820 --> 00:41:10,780
[SIGHS]
775
00:41:13,190 --> 00:41:16,040
You know what? I think we should...
776
00:41:16,820 --> 00:41:19,320
we should go to bed tonight, and, uh...
777
00:41:20,570 --> 00:41:23,000
I'll help Joanie pack tomorrow.
778
00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:27,730
[SIGHS]
779
00:41:32,900 --> 00:41:34,680
[JOANIE] When we get to our vacation,
780
00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:36,380
will Mommy be there?
781
00:41:37,780 --> 00:41:40,500
Nope. Just gonna be you and me, kiddo.
782
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,300
Where is Mommy?
783
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,110
Some people think that when you die
784
00:41:48,190 --> 00:41:49,820
your soul goes up to Heaven.
785
00:41:49,860 --> 00:41:51,899
And some people think
786
00:41:51,900 --> 00:41:54,150
that you get to come back
as a different person
787
00:41:54,230 --> 00:41:55,840
or even an animal.
788
00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:58,399
But what about you?
789
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,240
Where do you think Mommy is?
790
00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:04,320
[SIGHS]
791
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,610
I wish I knew, kiddo.
792
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,980
But I do know that she
will always be here.
793
00:42:13,070 --> 00:42:14,820
And whenever you miss her,
794
00:42:14,900 --> 00:42:16,980
all we have to do is think about her
795
00:42:17,070 --> 00:42:18,470
and remember her, and that way,
796
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,260
she will always be with us.
797
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,380
♪ As I went walking ♪
798
00:42:35,690 --> 00:42:38,570
♪ That ribbon of highway ♪
799
00:42:38,650 --> 00:42:41,400
- [JOANIE HUMMING ALONG]
- ♪ I saw above me ♪
800
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:44,030
♪ That endless skyway ♪
801
00:42:44,110 --> 00:42:47,180
♪ I saw below me ♪
802
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,900
♪ That golden valley ♪
803
00:42:50,980 --> 00:42:55,150
♪ This land was made for you and me ♪
804
00:42:55,230 --> 00:43:00,700
[JOANIE CONTINUES HUMMING]
805
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,140
[CONTINUES HUMMING]
806
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,690
[QUIET, AMBIENT MUSIC]
807
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:14,760
♪ ♪
808
00:43:14,780 --> 00:43:18,240
[BIRDS CHIRPING AND SQUAWKING]
809
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,600
_
810
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,640
_
811
00:43:32,980 --> 00:43:35,700
[MEDICAL MONITOR BEEPING]
812
00:43:38,900 --> 00:43:40,340
[VIK GRUNTS]
813
00:43:52,190 --> 00:43:54,070
I'll send in Dr. Woo.
814
00:43:54,150 --> 00:43:55,730
[VIK] Thank you.
815
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:58,900
[DOOR OPENS]
816
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:01,440
[DOOR CLOSES]
817
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,440
[SIGHS]
818
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:06,150
[QUIET, ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC]
819
00:44:06,230 --> 00:44:12,420
♪ ♪
820
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:16,620
Helen.
821
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:17,800
Hmm?
822
00:44:17,900 --> 00:44:19,439
You're hurting me.
823
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:20,650
Oh.
824
00:44:20,730 --> 00:44:22,230
Sorry.
825
00:44:29,420 --> 00:44:31,780
This place is kind of a mess, huh?
826
00:44:35,820 --> 00:44:37,860
How do you feel?
827
00:44:39,190 --> 00:44:41,420
I'm cold.
828
00:44:41,460 --> 00:44:43,560
[MUTTERS QUIETLY]
829
00:44:47,820 --> 00:44:49,520
I got you.
830
00:44:54,690 --> 00:44:56,180
- How's that?
- Thank you.
831
00:44:56,190 --> 00:44:57,610
Mm-hmm.
832
00:44:59,150 --> 00:45:00,780
I love you.
833
00:45:07,940 --> 00:45:09,780
[DOOR OPENS]
834
00:45:11,030 --> 00:45:12,420
Hey.
835
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,190
Good news, Vik.
836
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,190
- The cholecystitis has subsided.
- [VIK] Oh.
837
00:45:16,270 --> 00:45:18,520
Morning, Doc.
838
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,020
- Helen, can you, uh... ?
- Yeah.
839
00:45:21,900 --> 00:45:24,600
[DR. WOO] The ultrasound of your right
840
00:45:24,620 --> 00:45:26,519
confirms what the lab results indicate.
841
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:28,930
Your leukocyte count and
your bilirubin levels
842
00:45:28,940 --> 00:45:30,760
have come significantly down.
843
00:45:30,780 --> 00:45:32,450
Your amylase and your lipase levels
844
00:45:32,460 --> 00:45:33,700
have normalized, too.
845
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:35,610
Oh. Wow.
846
00:45:35,690 --> 00:45:36,780
What does that mean?
847
00:45:36,820 --> 00:45:38,400
Well, it means he got lucky.
848
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:40,480
We caught the cholecystitis quickly.
849
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:42,920
So I can go home.
850
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,900
I want to keep you here
for another day or two,
851
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:47,990
but if you're not febrile in 24 hours,
852
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,650
I'll send you home on Friday.
853
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:52,900
Thanks, Doc.
854
00:45:53,780 --> 00:45:55,560
[DR. WOO] Uh, but listen.
855
00:45:55,580 --> 00:45:58,560
Now that this current crisis is averted,
856
00:45:59,180 --> 00:46:01,650
I want to talk to you
again about treatment.
857
00:46:02,420 --> 00:46:04,270
If you continue to go untreated,
858
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:06,270
I guarantee you
859
00:46:06,300 --> 00:46:09,160
you will be back here with
something much worse.
860
00:46:09,940 --> 00:46:12,150
Thrombophlebitis.
861
00:46:12,230 --> 00:46:14,150
Perforated stomach lining.
862
00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:16,800
S-Something that you just
cannot bounce back from.
863
00:46:16,820 --> 00:46:18,939
- You're metastatic.
- I know that.
864
00:46:18,940 --> 00:46:20,820
Right, so you would also know
865
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:23,350
that we typically like to
treat metastatic patients
866
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:24,420
very aggressively.
867
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:27,580
I'm past surgery, Kristina.
868
00:46:28,460 --> 00:46:29,740
That's not an option for me.
869
00:46:29,750 --> 00:46:32,150
Chemo could shrink this tumor.
870
00:46:32,420 --> 00:46:34,780
And how much time would
that actually buy me?
871
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,440
Conservatively, six to nine months.
872
00:46:36,470 --> 00:46:38,520
And here's the thing.
873
00:46:38,660 --> 00:46:42,360
Treatment will improve
your quality of life.
874
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:45,320
Look, Vik.
875
00:46:46,690 --> 00:46:49,460
I have seen this before.
876
00:46:49,690 --> 00:46:51,320
There's a reason they say
877
00:46:51,340 --> 00:46:53,730
that doctors make the worst patients.
878
00:46:54,860 --> 00:46:57,010
We all have God complexes.
879
00:46:57,020 --> 00:46:58,300
And when we get sick,
880
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,030
we're fucking pissed.
881
00:47:00,380 --> 00:47:02,640
I understand that.
882
00:47:03,570 --> 00:47:04,699
But you know what?
883
00:47:04,700 --> 00:47:07,050
You obviously have someone in your life
884
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:09,299
that loves you very much,
885
00:47:09,300 --> 00:47:10,800
and they want you to stick around,
886
00:47:10,820 --> 00:47:12,699
so forgive me for what I'm about to say,
887
00:47:12,700 --> 00:47:14,140
but I've known you for, what,
888
00:47:14,150 --> 00:47:15,440
almost 20 years?
889
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:17,960
You're being an asshole.
890
00:47:21,900 --> 00:47:24,600
This is exactly why we
broke up, Kristina.
891
00:47:25,420 --> 00:47:27,110
You've got a potty mouth.
892
00:47:30,980 --> 00:47:32,940
[DR. WOO] Why don't
you two talk it over?
893
00:47:33,500 --> 00:47:35,150
It was nice to see you again, Helen.
894
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,030
Nice to see you, Kristina.
895
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,030
[DOOR OPENS]
896
00:47:41,940 --> 00:47:43,520
- [SIGHS]
- [DOOR CLOSES]
897
00:47:43,610 --> 00:47:45,640
Why did you two break up?
898
00:47:47,940 --> 00:47:49,480
She matched in L.A.
899
00:47:49,570 --> 00:47:51,620
I matched in New York.
900
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:54,240
We were 26.
901
00:47:54,300 --> 00:47:56,040
We thought we had all
the time in the world.
902
00:47:59,820 --> 00:48:02,280
She was wonderful, though.
903
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:04,980
She still is.
904
00:48:07,940 --> 00:48:11,180
I mean, I think she had to...
905
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:14,020
go out of her way to treat you.
906
00:48:14,030 --> 00:48:16,110
She had to move a lot of stuff around.
907
00:48:16,190 --> 00:48:17,940
Yeah.
908
00:48:23,140 --> 00:48:25,980
So, do you want to talk
about, uh... all that?
909
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,650
Can we do it later?
910
00:48:31,730 --> 00:48:33,110
When I come home?
911
00:48:33,190 --> 00:48:34,360
Sure.
912
00:48:35,860 --> 00:48:37,610
That's fine. No problem.
913
00:48:37,690 --> 00:48:39,649
Your parents are on
their way over anyway.
914
00:48:39,650 --> 00:48:41,860
I was gonna run home and just, um,
915
00:48:41,940 --> 00:48:43,400
take a shower, change my clothes.
916
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:44,780
Yeah, you should.
917
00:48:44,860 --> 00:48:46,820
- I'll be fine.
- Okay.
918
00:48:49,230 --> 00:48:51,360
- Helen.
- Yeah.
919
00:48:55,650 --> 00:48:57,980
I hate putting you through this.
920
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:01,820
I never wanted to be a burden on anyone.
921
00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:03,780
Stop.
922
00:49:06,110 --> 00:49:08,280
[KNOCKING AT WINDOW]
923
00:49:18,610 --> 00:49:20,350
- Hi.
- Hi. How is he?
924
00:49:20,380 --> 00:49:21,879
He's better. Uh, he's better.
925
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:25,119
Apparently, the infection
in his gallbladder's, um...
926
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:26,420
receding? Is that the word?
927
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,780
His gallbladder? I-I thought this was
928
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:30,149
- cancer of the pancreas.
- It is.
929
00:49:30,150 --> 00:49:32,050
But apparently, the
tumor in the pancreas
930
00:49:32,070 --> 00:49:33,550
is putting pressure on the gallbladder,
931
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,280
and there's been some
kind of bi... bile buildup.
932
00:49:36,300 --> 00:49:39,649
I don't really understand,
but you could ask, um,
933
00:49:39,650 --> 00:49:41,729
his doctor when she gets here,
934
00:49:41,730 --> 00:49:43,350
Kristina Woo. I think you know her.
935
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:44,360
What?
936
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,020
Kristina is here to take care of him?
937
00:49:47,060 --> 00:49:49,380
- Who?
- Kristina, Abdul.
938
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:51,470
Little Kristina from Stanford.
939
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:52,780
Oh, his girlfriend?
940
00:49:52,860 --> 00:49:54,920
Well, ex-girlfriend, but yeah.
941
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,310
[ABDUL] Oh, praise Heaven.
942
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:58,360
Well, I've also been taking care of him,
943
00:49:58,440 --> 00:49:59,980
- you know...
- Kristina will help him.
944
00:50:00,070 --> 00:50:02,300
Yes, she will get him
the medicine he needs.
945
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,480
[ABDUL] She got a perfect
score on her medical boards.
946
00:50:04,490 --> 00:50:06,980
Absolutely perfect. Not one mistake.
947
00:50:07,070 --> 00:50:09,680
Well, it was perfect.
948
00:50:09,940 --> 00:50:11,860
Okay. Well, I have to go
home 'cause I still have
949
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:14,179
some vomit on me from when...
950
00:50:14,180 --> 00:50:15,719
Never mind. I'm just gonna...
951
00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:17,020
I'll see you this evening.
952
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,940
You should go and take
care of yourself, Helen.
953
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:21,560
You look tired.
954
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:32,020
Surprise!
955
00:50:32,270 --> 00:50:34,720
Whitney. Whitney.
956
00:50:34,740 --> 00:50:36,480
- Hi!
- Hi.
957
00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:37,920
Hey there, Colin.
958
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:40,650
What are you doing here?
959
00:50:40,730 --> 00:50:42,560
We came to surprise you.
960
00:50:42,780 --> 00:50:45,360
Oh, that's nice. What about school?
961
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:46,780
It's Thanksgiving.
962
00:50:49,650 --> 00:50:50,900
Is it?
963
00:50:51,980 --> 00:50:53,680
Oh, God. Yeah, of course.
964
00:50:53,700 --> 00:50:54,820
It's November.
965
00:50:56,150 --> 00:50:58,270
- Right.
- So, where is everybody?
966
00:50:58,330 --> 00:51:01,480
Um, your brother and
sister are with your dad,
967
00:51:01,570 --> 00:51:04,219
and, uh, Martin went to
the Cape with Mariah.
968
00:51:04,220 --> 00:51:05,690
No, he didn't.
969
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:07,320
They broke up.
970
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:08,860
- They did?
- Mm-hmm.
971
00:51:08,940 --> 00:51:10,280
- When?
- Last week.
972
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:12,380
He's coming, too. He'll
be here in a few days.
973
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,860
Hey, I'm so happy that we get
974
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,020
to spend Thanksgiving together,
all four of us again.
975
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:18,460
And I was thinking,
976
00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:20,730
what if we invited Dad this year?
977
00:51:21,180 --> 00:51:23,420
Do you think Vik would mind?
978
00:51:25,940 --> 00:51:28,640
Mom, are you okay?
979
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:30,940
I'm just really happy to have you home.
980
00:51:30,950 --> 00:51:32,260
- That's all.
- Oh, my God.
981
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:33,840
Mom, come on. Don't cry.
982
00:51:33,850 --> 00:51:35,800
I told Colin you are a total ball-buster
983
00:51:35,820 --> 00:51:37,730
and that's why I'm so fucked up.
984
00:51:37,820 --> 00:51:39,730
Now he's gonna think I'm lying.
985
00:51:39,820 --> 00:51:41,800
It's nice to see you
again, Mrs. Solloway.
986
00:51:41,900 --> 00:51:42,900
[SIGHS]
987
00:51:42,910 --> 00:51:44,480
It's nice to see you, Colin.
988
00:51:44,570 --> 00:51:46,140
[CLEARS THROAT] Are you guys hungry?
989
00:51:46,150 --> 00:51:48,470
Do you want something to eat?
990
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:49,626
I'll make you an omelet or something.
991
00:51:49,650 --> 00:51:50,970
Mom, we're vegans.
992
00:51:50,980 --> 00:51:52,620
Fuck. Right.
993
00:51:52,700 --> 00:51:53,800
I keep forgetting.
994
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:55,920
So, what does that
mean? I have to pick up
995
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:56,980
almond milk or... ?
996
00:51:57,070 --> 00:51:59,460
Yeah, don't worry. We'll make our own.
997
00:52:00,660 --> 00:52:02,720
You'll make your own almond milk?
998
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:04,120
Totally. We stopped at Whole Foods
999
00:52:04,130 --> 00:52:05,360
and got some stuff already.
1000
00:52:07,110 --> 00:52:09,190
Well, that's one less
thing to worry about.
1001
00:52:09,270 --> 00:52:11,020
Uh, you guys, the place is yours.
1002
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:12,870
Colin, there's a really nice pool there
1003
00:52:12,900 --> 00:52:16,100
- if you want to take a swim.
- This place is sick, Mrs. Solloway.
1004
00:52:16,140 --> 00:52:17,860
Thanks. I like it, too.
1005
00:52:19,540 --> 00:52:21,400
So, uh, is it just us tonight?
1006
00:52:21,420 --> 00:52:23,020
Are Trevor and Stacey coming?
1007
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:26,019
I was thinking of making
saag paneer for Vik.
1008
00:52:26,020 --> 00:52:27,879
I'm taking this Indian cooking course,
1009
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:28,940
and I'm kind of good.
1010
00:52:28,990 --> 00:52:30,570
No, she's really good.
1011
00:52:30,650 --> 00:52:31,920
Yeah, I am.
1012
00:52:31,980 --> 00:52:34,540
Hashtag "humble brag." I'm really good.
1013
00:52:36,270 --> 00:52:38,330
Actually, Vik's not
gonna be here tonight.
1014
00:52:38,340 --> 00:52:39,820
He's in the hospital.
1015
00:52:39,900 --> 00:52:41,850
Come on, tell him to beg off early.
1016
00:52:41,860 --> 00:52:43,560
I'm only here for a couple days.
1017
00:52:43,580 --> 00:52:45,300
Tell him, like, punt the surgery.
1018
00:52:45,340 --> 00:52:46,800
Is Vik a surgeon?
1019
00:52:46,940 --> 00:52:48,119
You didn't tell me that.
1020
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:50,440
Yeah, he is. He's,
like, a super-surgeon.
1021
00:52:51,380 --> 00:52:53,800
Whit, actually, he's
not at the hospital.
1022
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,610
He's in the hospital.
1023
00:52:55,690 --> 00:52:57,190
Uh, he's sick.
1024
00:52:57,820 --> 00:52:59,400
What? What do you mean?
1025
00:52:59,420 --> 00:53:00,440
I'm sorry.
1026
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,219
I should have told you.
I meant to tell you.
1027
00:53:02,220 --> 00:53:03,640
You should have told me what?
1028
00:53:05,730 --> 00:53:07,680
Vik has cancer.
1029
00:53:09,650 --> 00:53:10,940
What?
1030
00:53:11,860 --> 00:53:13,820
It's stage four.
1031
00:53:18,730 --> 00:53:23,360
S-So... is he...
1032
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:24,880
is he gonna... ?
1033
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:25,920
Yeah.
1034
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:27,560
No.
1035
00:53:27,620 --> 00:53:28,620
- Yeah.
- No.
1036
00:53:28,630 --> 00:53:29,630
Look, I'm sorry.
1037
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:31,559
I really didn't want you
to find out this way.
1038
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,400
I-I-I wanted to call you a while ago,
1039
00:53:33,410 --> 00:53:35,040
but you just seemed so happy,
1040
00:53:35,100 --> 00:53:37,706
- and I didn't want to ruin that.
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
1041
00:53:37,730 --> 00:53:39,990
- With me?
- This is why Trevor and Stacey
1042
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:41,030
have been such zombies
1043
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:42,680
when I've talked to them on the phone.
1044
00:53:42,700 --> 00:53:46,150
God, Helen, you are so
fucking irresponsible.
1045
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:47,880
- Whitney.
- Just once,
1046
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:49,460
one time, I'd like to come home
1047
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:51,320
to some fucking normalcy for a change.
1048
00:53:51,330 --> 00:53:53,040
I have my shit together.
1049
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:54,100
Why can't you?
1050
00:53:54,110 --> 00:53:56,900
Can you please...
1051
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,480
this time...
1052
00:53:59,570 --> 00:54:00,960
just not?
1053
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:02,820
Not what?
1054
00:54:02,900 --> 00:54:04,780
Be a bitch.
1055
00:54:04,860 --> 00:54:06,250
I'm really sorry that this
1056
00:54:06,270 --> 00:54:08,079
isn't the reality that you thought
1057
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,270
you were walking into at
this particular moment,
1058
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,070
but that's... this is what's going on.
1059
00:54:12,100 --> 00:54:14,020
This is what is going on.
1060
00:54:14,060 --> 00:54:15,570
Did you just call me a bitch?
1061
00:54:15,580 --> 00:54:17,036
- [SLIDING DOOR OPENS]
- [SIERRA] Hello.
1062
00:54:17,060 --> 00:54:18,570
- Oh...
- [SIERRA] Anyone home?
1063
00:54:18,700 --> 00:54:19,950
Hi, Sierra.
1064
00:54:20,030 --> 00:54:21,450
- Hi.
- How are you?
1065
00:54:21,530 --> 00:54:24,280
I'm good. Um, oh, my God.
1066
00:54:24,370 --> 00:54:25,479
Is this your daughter?
1067
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:27,980
Um, yes, this is my
daughter and her boyfriend,
1068
00:54:27,990 --> 00:54:30,760
and this is my friend, Sierra.
1069
00:54:30,860 --> 00:54:32,450
- Hey.
- [SIERRA] Hi.
1070
00:54:32,470 --> 00:54:34,720
Oh, my God. It's so great
to finally meet you.
1071
00:54:34,740 --> 00:54:37,160
Mom, can we not do this right now?
1072
00:54:37,240 --> 00:54:39,740
- Do what?
- Meet someone.
1073
00:54:39,750 --> 00:54:41,280
I-I need to talk to you.
1074
00:54:41,340 --> 00:54:43,180
Is this a bad time? I can come back.
1075
00:54:43,490 --> 00:54:45,370
Why don't you just give me
a moment with my friend,
1076
00:54:45,380 --> 00:54:46,380
and you guys can go fuck in
1077
00:54:46,390 --> 00:54:47,750
the spare guest room or something.
1078
00:54:47,830 --> 00:54:50,780
[SCOFFS] God, this is so
fucking typical, Helen.
1079
00:54:50,790 --> 00:54:52,280
Can you please stop calling me Helen?
1080
00:54:52,290 --> 00:54:54,240
You never change, do you?
1081
00:54:57,700 --> 00:55:00,680
Sorry about that, Mrs. Solloway.
1082
00:55:00,720 --> 00:55:02,200
She's, um...
1083
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,180
just started a new birth control,
1084
00:55:04,190 --> 00:55:08,020
and it's making her,
you know, kind of mad.
1085
00:55:08,490 --> 00:55:10,280
It's fine, Colin. I'm used to it.
1086
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:14,460
Wow. She is a force.
1087
00:55:14,620 --> 00:55:16,280
Yeah. That she is.
1088
00:55:17,950 --> 00:55:20,240
I brought this for you.
1089
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:22,780
It's called a white butterfly.
1090
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:24,830
What's the occasion?
1091
00:55:24,910 --> 00:55:26,100
No occasion.
1092
00:55:26,140 --> 00:55:27,539
I've just been thinking about
1093
00:55:27,540 --> 00:55:29,620
how blessed I am to have you in my life.
1094
00:55:30,540 --> 00:55:32,080
[CLEARS THROAT]
1095
00:55:32,100 --> 00:55:33,439
Are you okay? You look tired.
1096
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:34,870
No, I'm fine.
1097
00:55:37,780 --> 00:55:39,500
I, um...
1098
00:55:40,500 --> 00:55:41,850
I-I can't stop thinking about
1099
00:55:41,860 --> 00:55:43,540
what happened between us in the desert.
1100
00:55:43,570 --> 00:55:44,870
Yeah.
1101
00:55:44,900 --> 00:55:47,110
- Um...
- Have you been avoiding me?
1102
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:48,139
No.
1103
00:55:48,140 --> 00:55:50,080
No, no, that's not it at all.
1104
00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:52,280
Okay.
1105
00:55:52,420 --> 00:55:55,620
Um, good, because I-I have
something to tell you.
1106
00:55:56,020 --> 00:55:57,920
Yeah, can it wait?
1107
00:55:57,980 --> 00:56:00,720
Uh, no, not... not really.
1108
00:56:01,370 --> 00:56:04,200
It's just that, uh, Vik
is in the hospital.
1109
00:56:04,220 --> 00:56:05,900
Wh-Why?
1110
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,659
Because he has cancer and
he's not treating it,
1111
00:56:08,660 --> 00:56:10,109
so the tumor won't stop growing,
1112
00:56:10,110 --> 00:56:11,679
and now it's pressing
against his gallbladder,
1113
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:13,399
which, of course, is infected
1114
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:14,699
because why can't anything
1115
00:56:14,700 --> 00:56:18,540
ever be just okay for
one fucking minute?
1116
00:56:20,410 --> 00:56:22,470
Helen, I'm... I'm so sorry.
1117
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:25,920
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
1118
00:56:25,990 --> 00:56:27,640
It's his mom.
1119
00:56:27,720 --> 00:56:28,740
[CLEARS THROAT]
1120
00:56:28,750 --> 00:56:30,030
Hello, Priya.
1121
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:34,050
What? I don't... No, you're
gonna have to slow down.
1122
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:36,120
I don't understand what you're saying.
1123
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:39,860
Septic?
1124
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:42,080
Are you sure?
1125
00:56:42,870 --> 00:56:44,650
Okay. Yes, all right, I'm on my way.
1126
00:56:44,660 --> 00:56:45,999
Yes, no, I'm leaving now.
1127
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:47,200
Now.
1128
00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:48,520
Is everything okay?
1129
00:56:48,530 --> 00:56:49,870
Uh, no.
1130
00:56:52,620 --> 00:56:54,080
I have to go.
1131
00:56:54,580 --> 00:56:56,030
Well, let me drive you.
1132
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:57,320
No, I'm okay.
1133
00:56:57,410 --> 00:56:59,280
Helen...
1134
00:56:59,370 --> 00:57:00,910
please let me help you.
1135
00:57:00,990 --> 00:57:02,640
I-I want to help you.
1136
00:57:06,180 --> 00:57:08,620
Sierra, you know what
happened in the desert,
1137
00:57:08,700 --> 00:57:10,699
that was a one-time
thing with us, right?
1138
00:57:10,700 --> 00:57:13,079
- I'm with Vik. I-I can't just be...
- Yes.
1139
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:14,830
I know.
1140
00:57:16,740 --> 00:57:18,410
Where are your keys?
1141
00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:22,760
I'm driving.
1142
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:28,980
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1143
00:57:36,910 --> 00:57:38,910
[TENSE, ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC]
1144
00:57:38,990 --> 00:57:42,860
♪ ♪
1145
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:49,659
Hi. Can I help you?
1146
00:57:49,660 --> 00:57:51,580
Uh, there's already two
visitors, so you can't
1147
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:53,216
- go in right now.
- What's going on in there?
1148
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:54,840
- I'm sorry, who are you?
- I'm...
1149
00:57:54,850 --> 00:57:57,040
- And where are your visitor passes?
- Mine is right...
1150
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:58,759
Fuck, mine, it must have slipped off.
1151
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:00,320
- [NURSE] You both need passes.
- I need to go in there.
1152
00:58:00,330 --> 00:58:01,400
His mother just called me.
1153
00:58:01,420 --> 00:58:02,420
I'm sorry, but if you're not
1154
00:58:02,430 --> 00:58:05,060
- immediate family, you cannot go in.
- I am. I'm his wife.
1155
00:58:05,100 --> 00:58:06,100
Great.
1156
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:07,740
So then go to the front desk,
1157
00:58:07,750 --> 00:58:10,030
where your name is surely on
the list, and get a pass.
1158
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:11,139
Maybe I can go to the desk
1159
00:58:11,140 --> 00:58:12,619
and get passes for both of us,
1160
00:58:12,620 --> 00:58:14,376
- and then she can go in right now.
- Who are you?
1161
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,580
- I'm her friend.
- [NURSE] You're not related to him?
1162
00:58:16,700 --> 00:58:18,640
- No, not exactly.
- Then you need to go.
1163
00:58:18,650 --> 00:58:19,980
Yeah, maybe you should just go, okay?
1164
00:58:19,990 --> 00:58:22,400
Okay, but I... I would just like...
1165
00:58:24,450 --> 00:58:26,620
- [RETCHING]
- [NURSE] Are you sick?
1166
00:58:26,700 --> 00:58:29,340
This guy's already septic.
Are you trying to kill him?
1167
00:58:29,350 --> 00:58:30,679
I was here an hour ago,
1168
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:32,320
and he was fine. What happened?
1169
00:58:32,490 --> 00:58:34,420
His immune system is
hanging on by a thread.
1170
00:58:34,430 --> 00:58:35,740
- If you have the slightest cold...
- I'm not sick.
1171
00:58:35,750 --> 00:58:37,460
Well, you shouldn't even
be in this hallway.
1172
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:38,480
If you both don't leave,
1173
00:58:38,490 --> 00:58:41,260
- I'm gonna have to call security.
- I'm not sick. I'm pregnant.
1174
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:45,560
You're pregnant?
1175
00:58:45,910 --> 00:58:48,760
Yes, that's what I was
trying to tell you.
1176
00:58:51,530 --> 00:58:53,680
Why are you trying to tell me?
1177
00:59:07,580 --> 00:59:09,660
I'm so sorry.
1178
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:12,880
What?
1179
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:15,940
It was an accident.
1180
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,410
It was one time,
1181
00:59:17,490 --> 00:59:19,020
and it didn't mean anything.
1182
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:21,540
I don't, like, love him or anything.
1183
00:59:21,550 --> 00:59:23,670
I mean, if there's anyone
I love, it's-it's you.
1184
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:24,680
Is this some kind of joke?
1185
00:59:24,681 --> 00:59:25,990
- I know this is a shock.
- Is that why you bought me
1186
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,120
- that fucking orchid?
- It was a shock to me, too.
1187
00:59:28,370 --> 00:59:30,200
And I know that this is such bad timing,
1188
00:59:30,210 --> 00:59:32,340
but, Helen, I-I... I want to keep it.
1189
00:59:32,740 --> 00:59:34,300
I want to be a mother.
1190
00:59:34,530 --> 00:59:36,199
Everything you said to me in the desert,
1191
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,059
it resonated so deeply with me.
1192
00:59:38,060 --> 00:59:39,426
And it's like you said to me what I've
1193
00:59:39,450 --> 00:59:41,020
been waiting to hear my
whole life, and I...
1194
00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:44,360
[TENSE, ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC]
1195
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:51,400
♪ ♪
1196
01:00:06,370 --> 01:00:09,840
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
1197
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:19,740
[GROANING] Oh, God.
1198
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:22,680
You sound so old.
1199
01:00:22,690 --> 01:00:24,990
You didn't used to groan
when you sat down.
1200
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,530
Why are we sitting down here?
1201
01:00:26,540 --> 01:00:28,570
There's a perfectly
good bench over there.
1202
01:00:28,660 --> 01:00:30,680
I wanted to be low to the ground.
1203
01:00:33,570 --> 01:00:34,990
Do you want one?
1204
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:36,160
Got one for you.
1205
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:37,640
No, thanks.
1206
01:00:38,580 --> 01:00:39,720
What happened?
1207
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:42,040
Where are the kids?
1208
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:43,740
I dropped them at your place.
1209
01:00:43,830 --> 01:00:45,230
With Whitney and the new boyfriend.
1210
01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:47,080
Oh, yeah. He seems nice enough.
1211
01:00:47,140 --> 01:00:49,370
Yeah, he's okay.
1212
01:00:49,450 --> 01:00:51,120
She's exactly the same.
1213
01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:52,780
Yeah.
1214
01:00:53,830 --> 01:00:55,280
What did we do wrong there?
1215
01:00:55,490 --> 01:00:58,000
Helen, she's a kid.
1216
01:01:00,870 --> 01:01:03,460
We were already married by
the time we were her age.
1217
01:01:03,700 --> 01:01:05,780
Yeah, well, we were kids, too.
1218
01:01:08,410 --> 01:01:10,140
Vik okay?
1219
01:01:12,100 --> 01:01:13,780
No.
1220
01:01:15,530 --> 01:01:17,830
Vik is going to die.
1221
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:20,580
I'm so sorry.
1222
01:01:20,830 --> 01:01:22,530
Yep.
1223
01:01:22,620 --> 01:01:23,860
Me, too.
1224
01:01:26,220 --> 01:01:28,780
I'm really, really sorry.
1225
01:01:32,780 --> 01:01:34,320
[SIGHS]
1226
01:01:34,330 --> 01:01:36,220
Did you ever meet our neighbor, Sierra?
1227
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:39,640
- Don't think so, no.
- Well, she's pregnant.
1228
01:01:39,740 --> 01:01:41,340
- That's nice for her.
- With Vik's baby.
1229
01:01:44,030 --> 01:01:45,180
What?
1230
01:01:47,990 --> 01:01:49,370
Oh, God.
1231
01:01:49,450 --> 01:01:51,080
Helen.
1232
01:01:51,700 --> 01:01:54,399
Look, Vik's not in his
right mind now, you know?
1233
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,216
Look, it's already... I don't
care. I really don't care.
1234
01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:58,030
Look, I fucked her, too.
1235
01:01:59,700 --> 01:02:01,280
Really?
1236
01:02:06,060 --> 01:02:07,450
What, and I missed it?
1237
01:02:07,530 --> 01:02:09,200
[LAUGHS]
1238
01:02:12,830 --> 01:02:14,030
Eh.
1239
01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:17,490
I just can't go back up there.
1240
01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:19,700
I can't face him like this.
1241
01:02:19,780 --> 01:02:21,150
Well, you're pissed with him, right?
1242
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:23,320
No, that's not why I can't face him.
1243
01:02:28,990 --> 01:02:30,990
I don't know if I love him.
1244
01:02:32,870 --> 01:02:34,550
I mean, the way I'm supposed to.
1245
01:02:34,570 --> 01:02:35,830
You know...
1246
01:02:35,910 --> 01:02:37,340
I love him enough.
1247
01:02:39,530 --> 01:02:41,360
What does that mean?
1248
01:02:45,030 --> 01:02:47,160
Not the way I loved you.
1249
01:02:53,910 --> 01:02:55,910
Helen, we were...
1250
01:02:57,490 --> 01:02:59,540
We were young.
1251
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:03,700
We hadn't fucked up yet.
1252
01:03:03,780 --> 01:03:06,419
It's just so much easier to feel
1253
01:03:06,420 --> 01:03:09,410
deeply for someone when there's no...
1254
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:11,320
defenses or...
1255
01:03:11,410 --> 01:03:13,240
Baggage?
1256
01:03:14,450 --> 01:03:16,280
Well, yeah.
1257
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:21,779
[SIGHS]
1258
01:03:21,780 --> 01:03:23,560
God, poor Alison.
1259
01:03:28,620 --> 01:03:30,480
How was her funeral?
1260
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:33,950
Ah, it was awful.
1261
01:03:35,570 --> 01:03:37,450
Right.
1262
01:03:37,530 --> 01:03:41,140
No, they, uh... her
mother had her cremated,
1263
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:42,490
so the ceremony was on the beach,
1264
01:03:42,570 --> 01:03:45,950
and Cole grabbed the urn
and ran away with it.
1265
01:03:46,030 --> 01:03:48,120
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- No.
1266
01:03:48,700 --> 01:03:50,220
Oh, my God.
1267
01:03:50,830 --> 01:03:52,989
Everybody's so fucking crazy.
1268
01:03:52,990 --> 01:03:54,410
Yeah.
1269
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,260
[SIGHS]
1270
01:04:01,370 --> 01:04:03,300
I miss her, you know. I...
1271
01:04:05,900 --> 01:04:08,580
Can't stop thinking about how much I...
1272
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:11,570
failed her and...
1273
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:13,570
[SIGHS]
1274
01:04:13,660 --> 01:04:15,660
... how badly I fucked up.
1275
01:04:19,990 --> 01:04:22,080
[SIGHS]
1276
01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:24,900
[TAKING DEEP BREATHS]
1277
01:04:27,500 --> 01:04:30,200
You know, what happened
to her wasn't your fault.
1278
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:31,530
[SCOFFS] You think?
1279
01:04:31,620 --> 01:04:32,940
No, I'm sure.
1280
01:04:39,450 --> 01:04:41,160
[GRUNTS]
1281
01:04:41,740 --> 01:04:44,400
[SNIFFS] How's Vik holding up?
1282
01:04:45,830 --> 01:04:47,490
He's not good.
1283
01:04:47,570 --> 01:04:49,030
I mean, it's like...
1284
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:53,150
It's like the light has
gone out of his eyes.
1285
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:56,080
Like somebody just drew curtains.
1286
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:57,780
I've never seen anything like it.
1287
01:04:57,870 --> 01:04:59,640
Why doesn't he get any treatment?
1288
01:04:59,650 --> 01:05:01,030
I don't know. I...
1289
01:05:01,050 --> 01:05:02,640
You know, he doesn't think it'll work.
1290
01:05:02,650 --> 01:05:03,990
The doctors say it might work.
1291
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:05,190
Maybe I should have tried harder.
1292
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:06,449
I don't know. I don't know.
1293
01:05:06,450 --> 01:05:08,280
I just... I don't... I don't know.
1294
01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:14,240
Can I tell you something awful?
1295
01:05:15,060 --> 01:05:16,200
What?
1296
01:05:19,570 --> 01:05:21,120
I used Vik...
1297
01:05:22,530 --> 01:05:24,700
to get over you.
1298
01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:34,550
I mean, I was so afraid to be alone,
1299
01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:36,080
and he just breezed into my life,
1300
01:05:36,090 --> 01:05:37,960
and it was so easy.
1301
01:05:38,020 --> 01:05:39,780
He didn't ask anything of me.
1302
01:05:39,870 --> 01:05:41,320
He took care of himself.
1303
01:05:41,570 --> 01:05:42,860
He helped me with the kids.
1304
01:05:42,940 --> 01:05:44,990
Everything was so much easier,
1305
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:46,860
and I did not want to let go of that,
1306
01:05:46,900 --> 01:05:52,120
and now I feel like I wasted
the last years of his life,
1307
01:05:52,180 --> 01:05:54,300
because he could have met
someone who loved him,
1308
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:55,640
who really loved him,
1309
01:05:55,700 --> 01:05:57,820
who could have brought
her whole self to him,
1310
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:00,030
not some kind of fucking broken...
1311
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:01,750
Stop, okay? Seriously, stop.
1312
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:03,840
That's enough.
1313
01:06:04,240 --> 01:06:06,870
You are a lot of things,
Helen. You are...
1314
01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:11,110
... neurotic and-and overbearing,
1315
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:12,410
and you're snobby,
1316
01:06:12,420 --> 01:06:14,260
and you're judgmental
1317
01:06:14,270 --> 01:06:15,830
- and-and superior, but...
- Are you gonna stop?
1318
01:06:15,850 --> 01:06:19,200
But you... you are not broken.
1319
01:06:19,700 --> 01:06:22,780
I don't know anyone
who's tougher than you.
1320
01:06:26,570 --> 01:06:28,850
That might be the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.
1321
01:06:28,870 --> 01:06:30,740
Yeah, well, I mean it.
1322
01:06:30,830 --> 01:06:32,580
And I know you love Vik.
1323
01:06:32,600 --> 01:06:35,119
I-I've been watching you both for
1324
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:36,489
however many years.
1325
01:06:36,490 --> 01:06:38,700
You love each other.
1326
01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:41,139
Maybe it's not the same
as it was with us,
1327
01:06:41,140 --> 01:06:42,220
but who gives a fuck?
1328
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:43,720
Where is it written that love
1329
01:06:43,740 --> 01:06:45,830
should be exactly the same every time?
1330
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:49,780
And now he's dying,
1331
01:06:49,820 --> 01:06:52,380
and there's nothing you can do about it.
1332
01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:55,120
And I know that that is terrifying.
1333
01:06:56,830 --> 01:06:59,740
I know that's the worst
feeling in the whole world.
1334
01:07:02,740 --> 01:07:04,570
But I gotta say, I...
1335
01:07:04,660 --> 01:07:07,450
if there's one person I
would want to be with
1336
01:07:07,530 --> 01:07:09,120
when I die,
1337
01:07:10,370 --> 01:07:12,940
if there's one person
who would make me feel,
1338
01:07:13,180 --> 01:07:16,980
no matter what, that I was safe and...
1339
01:07:17,990 --> 01:07:19,880
that I was loved,
1340
01:07:21,370 --> 01:07:22,780
it'd be you.
1341
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:32,919
Okay, that really is the nicest thing
1342
01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:34,570
you've ever said to me.
1343
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:36,700
Helen.
1344
01:07:36,780 --> 01:07:39,280
We are so fucking lucky to be alive.
1345
01:07:41,450 --> 01:07:44,960
I-I think about this all
the time these days.
1346
01:07:45,020 --> 01:07:47,560
We are just so fucking
lucky to be alive.
1347
01:08:00,370 --> 01:08:03,720
[MEDICAL MONITOR BEEPING QUIETLY]
1348
01:08:18,910 --> 01:08:20,490
[SIGHS]
1349
01:08:31,370 --> 01:08:33,950
That was scary.
1350
01:08:34,030 --> 01:08:35,870
Yeah, it was.
1351
01:08:39,800 --> 01:08:44,460
I didn't realize how
painful it would get.
1352
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:03,720
I have to say something to you.
1353
01:09:10,530 --> 01:09:12,600
I'm so sorry.
1354
01:09:14,830 --> 01:09:17,120
For what?
1355
01:09:19,780 --> 01:09:21,870
I should have listened to you.
1356
01:09:25,240 --> 01:09:27,520
I should have gotten treatment.
1357
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:30,120
I'm sorry.
1358
01:09:31,910 --> 01:09:33,620
I'm so sorry.
1359
01:09:33,650 --> 01:09:35,620
Stop.
1360
01:09:35,700 --> 01:09:37,490
We...
1361
01:09:38,700 --> 01:09:40,560
We did the best we could.
1362
01:09:48,780 --> 01:09:50,450
I've seen death.
1363
01:09:53,080 --> 01:09:55,490
I always knew it was coming. I...
1364
01:09:57,910 --> 01:10:00,320
I thought I knew what it was.
1365
01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:06,120
But when it finally
happens to you, you...
1366
01:10:06,580 --> 01:10:08,040
you're not ready.
1367
01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:10,410
You're not dead. You're still here.
1368
01:10:11,990 --> 01:10:14,200
I'm by myself now.
1369
01:10:17,530 --> 01:10:19,279
I'm on the other side.
1370
01:10:19,280 --> 01:10:21,080
Don't say that.
1371
01:10:21,160 --> 01:10:23,030
You're alive.
1372
01:10:23,380 --> 01:10:25,030
And I miss you.
1373
01:10:27,870 --> 01:10:29,540
I just...
1374
01:10:29,900 --> 01:10:32,990
I just want to be back, where you are.
1375
01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:35,530
With you.
1376
01:10:36,780 --> 01:10:38,200
And the kids.
1377
01:10:40,530 --> 01:10:42,370
I don't want to do this.
1378
01:10:47,990 --> 01:10:50,260
I don't want to go.
1379
01:10:51,570 --> 01:10:53,610
I want... more days.
1380
01:10:53,620 --> 01:10:55,410
I want more life.
1381
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:11,740
I love you.
1382
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:16,910
I love you.
1383
01:11:20,570 --> 01:11:22,370
I love you.
1384
01:11:25,950 --> 01:11:27,570
I love you.
1385
01:11:54,620 --> 01:11:56,570
Tell him now.
1386
01:11:56,660 --> 01:11:58,220
What?
1387
01:11:59,200 --> 01:12:00,940
He's awake. Tell him.
1388
01:12:01,080 --> 01:12:04,410
["WHAT SARAH SAID" BY
DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE]
1389
01:12:04,490 --> 01:12:09,660
♪ ♪
1390
01:12:10,280 --> 01:12:11,910
[CLEARS THROAT]
1391
01:12:32,280 --> 01:12:37,280
♪ ♪
1392
01:12:39,020 --> 01:12:42,000
♪ And it came to me then ♪
1393
01:12:42,060 --> 01:12:44,740
♪ That every plan ♪
1394
01:12:44,750 --> 01:12:47,050
♪ Is a tiny prayer ♪
1395
01:12:47,080 --> 01:12:49,740
♪ To Father Time ♪
1396
01:12:49,800 --> 01:12:52,620
♪ As I stared at my shoes ♪
1397
01:12:52,650 --> 01:12:55,450
♪ In the ICU ♪
1398
01:12:55,530 --> 01:12:57,780
♪ That reeked of piss ♪
1399
01:12:57,820 --> 01:13:00,620
♪ And 409 ♪
1400
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:03,490
♪ And I rationed my breaths ♪
1401
01:13:03,570 --> 01:13:06,160
♪ As I said to myself ♪
1402
01:13:06,170 --> 01:13:10,680
♪ That I'd already
taken too much today ♪
1403
01:13:10,860 --> 01:13:13,900
♪ As each descending peak ♪
1404
01:13:14,020 --> 01:13:16,520
♪ On the LCD ♪
1405
01:13:16,560 --> 01:13:21,480
♪ Took you a little
farther away from me ♪
1406
01:13:21,840 --> 01:13:25,620
♪ Away from me ♪
1407
01:13:25,700 --> 01:13:31,260
♪ ♪
1408
01:13:43,740 --> 01:13:46,390
♪ 'Cause there's no comfort ♪
1409
01:13:46,410 --> 01:13:53,320
♪ In the waiting room ♪
1410
01:13:53,900 --> 01:13:57,530
♪ Just nervous paces ♪
1411
01:13:57,570 --> 01:14:04,260
♪ Bracing for bad news ♪
1412
01:14:04,740 --> 01:14:08,080
♪ And then the nurse comes round ♪
1413
01:14:08,160 --> 01:14:13,500
♪ And everyone lifts their head ♪
1414
01:14:15,450 --> 01:14:18,120
♪ But I'm thinking of ♪
1415
01:14:18,150 --> 01:14:20,840
♪ What Sarah said ♪
1416
01:14:20,860 --> 01:14:24,100
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
1417
01:14:24,110 --> 01:14:26,920
♪ That love is watching ♪
1418
01:14:26,960 --> 01:14:29,700
♪ Someone die ♪
1419
01:14:29,780 --> 01:14:34,660
♪ ♪
1420
01:14:34,840 --> 01:14:40,320
♪ ♪
1421
01:14:40,340 --> 01:14:46,880
♪ So who's gonna watch you die? ♪
1422
01:14:50,620 --> 01:14:57,200
♪ So who's gonna watch you die? ♪
1423
01:15:01,640 --> 01:15:09,380
♪ So who's gonna watch you die? ♪
95822
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