Original subtitles

♪ Woke up in the morning ♪

♪ With the same old song, same old song ♪

♪ I'm losing my money ♪

♪ 'Cause I know I'm not, know I'm not ♪

♪ But I don't really care ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm not here and you're not there ♪

♪ And I can't really tell ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm outta here, I'm outta here ♪

♪ And oh ♪

♪ I won't miss you ♪

♪ Everybody knows that I can't take, I can't take ♪

♪ The pain that comes with having love, having love ♪

♪ But I don't really care ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm not here and you're not there ♪

♪ And I can't really tell 'cause I'm not here ♪

♪ I'm outta here ♪

♪ And oh ♪

♪ I won't miss you ♪

♪ Maybe it was because of the lies ♪

♪ Maybe it was because I'm in disguise ♪

♪ Jesus, you're the one who's always really here ♪

♪ But any really fail when I can't ever hear ♪

Good morning.

Hey.

There's my handsome Slater.

Oh, Lana.

You smell so good too.

It's organic tea tree extract.

Oh, lovely.

Oh hey, Mom.

♪ Prove me wrong, prove me wrong ♪

♪ But I don't really care ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm outta sight, outta mind ♪

♪ And I don't really know ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm outta here, I'm outta here ♪

♪ And oh ♪

♪ I won't miss you ♪

Hey, Dad.

Is everything okay?

So you're here right now?

Yeah, no, that's fine.

Come on in.

Here.

So you're here?

Okay, okay.

Baby, baby, who is this?

It's my mom!

Forget your mother right now!

- What's going on? - Baby, we gotta go!

We got a code red!

- Why? - My dad is on his way!

- You can't be here. Let's go. - But I wanna meet your dad!

My phone!

My mom's gonna be so-

Don't make any noise!

Just shush, please!

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

Hey, Dad.

Come on in.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

You look sweaty.

Oh, I just got out of the shower, so it's just water.

Well, you smell good.

Yeah, it's organic tea tree extract.

It's so nice of you to stop by unannounced.

You just don't look right.

I just need, I just need my coffee.

You know how I am in the morning without my coffee.

Would you like some?

Yeah, that'd be great.

That sounds perfect, yes.

Oh no.

We're all out of our organic Irish roast.

Just come have a seat, son.

Look, look.

Settle down.

I need your full and undivided attention, all right?

Dad, you always have my full undivided attention.

Come on.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Hang on.

Okay, yeah.

Look, your mom and I are extremely proud of you.

You know that.

You graduated.

You got your education.

Hey, you stayed away from the crazy women

that I warned you about, right?

Yes I did, yes.

Good, good.

So now...

What was that?

Is there someone here?

No, that's the neighbor's dryer.

I hear it all the time.

Oh, okay.

Well, listen, it's time for you to start thinking

about your future, steps forward, getting a job,

and maybe coming and working for me, huh?

Hey, listen, you can be running the company someday.

I've actually been hustling

and sending out my resume everywhere,

and I finally got an interview in California.

Silicon Valley!

Okay.

You should be proud.

When?

It's this Monday.

It's gonna revolutionize organic beet farms

around the world.

What?

It's gonna revolutionize organic beet farms

around the world.

Okay, just listen.

Your mom and I, we're gonna go and see Uncle Shawn.

Is everything okay?

We don't know yet.

So, I'm gonna need you to come in

and look after your sisters and your brother

for a couple of weeks, okay?

Dad, why me?

Can't you find somebody?

Why can't you hire somebody?

Hire somebody?

You have the money!

I have the money.

You know why I have the money?

Because I just don't give it away for free.

Hire somebody.

You know what?

Look around.

Look how you live.

This is the best development in South Texas,

and you want me to hire somebody?

You know what, buddy?

It would be something, wouldn't it,

if all of a sudden this just sort of went away, huh?

If this just sort of wasn't your lifestyle anymore.

Oh, oh, and there's the matter

of that little tiny itsy-bitsy trust fund, huh?

Dad, I would, I would love to be there on Monday,

and I will, okay?

I just gotta make some calls

and move some things around, okay?

That's right.

Okay, what was that?

That's the neighbor's Irish setter,

and it's just so loud and obnoxious!

It just doesn't know-

- Son, son, geez, geez Louise.

Did he just call me a dog?

Are you serious?

Listen, you know, you really should maybe see Dr. Figgis

about those anger issues that you have.

- I mean, my goodness. - Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Hold on one second.

What?

No!

Maternity leave?

Are you kidding me?

I gotta go.

Hold on.

- Monday. - Yes, sir.

All right.

No!

No, absolutely not.

Not a chance.

No way.

No way, Jose.

Guys, we are only gonna be gone for a couple of weeks,

and we will be home soon, I promise.

Okay, but we do not need a babysitter,

especially not if it's Slater.

He's a horrible babysitter.

He sleeps with a stuffed flamingo.

- Thank you. - Hey, hey, guys,

can we get some quiet in the morning?

You know I'm not usually up till 12.

The chi in here is all off, all right?

There's something in here-

- It's going to be okay.

Okay?

Okay, okay, okay, car is here.

We need to go now.

Okay.

- Bye, love you. - Love you.

Love you.

I gotta get back to that football high school shape.

You know, the glory days.

Wait a minute. I was the one that was playing football.

You were the mascot.

Yeah, but I was still part of the team.

You can't take that away from me.

I was key to some of those victories.

I moralized the team, moralized the crowd.

- Yeah. - I got people moving.

Yeah, you were a great flamingo.

You know, the girls used to flock to me.

- Really? - Girls love a man in pink.

That's how I got Lana.

Speaking of Lana, don't you have plans tonight?

Well, I did, until these kids.

What is this, one of your therapy sessions?

It's gains time.

Drop and give me 10.

Come on.

I'm sorry.

You're right.

Come on.

Time to get serious.

Yeah, get it.

Oh, don't lock eyes with me when you're doing pushups.

- I'm sorry. - Come on.

Come on.

I'm sorry, it helps me focus.

You're doing 'em on your knees.

Come on.

Oh yeah.

You're deep in there.

I gotta get back

- in flamingo shape. - Mind-body connection.

Yeah, baby.

I'm here.

They'll be back in one week.

Then we can do whatever we want.

They'll be back, okay?

Yeah, I promise.

- Transitioning! - Warthog inbound.

Yes, we can go shopping, all right?

Hey!

- Hi, Lana! - Hi, Lana!

Reloading.

Yeah, no, I know.

I know.

It's what I live with.

- Watch out. - I got it.

Yeah, baby, hold on one second.

Reloading.

Hello?

I need to speak with Mr. Slater McArthur, please.

Yeah, it's him.

This is Anne with the Texas State Highway Patrol.

I'm calling to report a fatality accident.

Wait, what?

Mr. McArthur, you're listed

as the emergency contact

for both Edward and Angela McArthur.

I'm sorry to tell you that both Edward and Angela McArthur

were in a multiple-vehicle accident on I-10 and-

- You can't be serious.

I'm so very sorry to tell you that both Edward

and Angela McArthur passed away at the scene.

When?

About two hours ago.

I can only imagine.

Sorry for your loss, man.

I appreciate it.

No problem, no problem.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

I'm so sorry.

It's all right, Mom and Dad.

I'll take care of them.

April, May, and Archer

will be fine.

I just don't know how good I'd be at running a business.

Your dad thought you'd be great.

You can do this.

You're a terrible cook, Slater.

We do not want your food.

Listen, guys.

Like it or not, with Mom and Dad gone,

I'm your legal guardian, all right?

And in this house, there are gonna be rules.

Rule number one, you eat what I tell you to eat.

You got that?

Hey, baby.

Yes, I'm on my way.

No, nothing will come up, I promise, all right?

I know how important quality time is.

Hold on, I'm getting another call.

Okay, okay.

Hello?

Mr. McArthur?

Yes, this is him.

This is Principal Branson.

I really need you to come in for a meeting

to discuss your siblings today.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Okay.

Hey, beautiful.

Well, I know it's been difficult

with the situation and everything,

but I really am concerned about them even making it

out of high school.

The situation is getting to the point

I'm going to have to contact social services.

Social services?

That would tear this family apart.

You can't do that.

I'm all they have left.

Please.

Well, would you like some advice?

Sure.

I think you should hire a live-in nanny.

A nanny, huh?

Lafonda.

Okay.

Starting immediately.

H4.

Miss.

H5.

Friendly orbital VSAT online.

Friendly Warthog inbound.

Yes?

Hello.

I have an interview today with Slater McArthur.

Who are you?

My name is Lafonda.

I have an interview with Slater McArthur.

Kids, bring me a kombucha.

Check your timeline.

Kids?

UAV inbound.

Kids?

Yeah, nobody here has that name.

Oh, if-

Really?

Oh, it must be the new nanny.

Would y'all back up?

Hi.

- Hello. - You must be here for Slater.

Yes.

Yeah, he's running behind.

He's gonna be here in a moment,

so if you wanna come in meanwhile.

- Thank you. - Yeah, come on in.

It was an honest mistake.

Such beautiful children.

Such beautiful children!

Lies.

I thought she said Sleeter.

Sorry I'm late.

It's okay.

I had a hair emergency.

Oh!

It looks nice.

Are you sure?

Yes, yes.

Reach for the stars.

Thank you.

So, Wanda?

Lafonda Wanda.

I haven't really done this before, interviewing anyone.

I don't really know what to ask.

Oh, okay.

You could ask me about my experience.

Yeah.

Perfect.

So what is your experience with children?

Oh, I've worked with children for many years.

I've been a live-in nanny for a lot of families.

And I couldn't help but notice

the British accent.

Where are you from exactly?

Oh, I am from Nigeria.

It's a country in Africa.

Right, I knew that.

How do you spell that?

Africa?

A-F-R-I-C-A.

Very good.

I knew that.

Of course, of course.

Just for research purposes.

Absolutely.

So you know, I like you.

I think the kids will like you.

I think you'll be a good fit.

Thank you, thank you.

- Thank you. - Yes, yes.

It smells wonderful.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Well, dig in.

I don't see any spoons.

God gave you your spoons.

These are the only spoons you need.

Okay.

But make sure you use the right hand.

Right is for fufu.

Left is for doo-doo.

Wonderful, okay.

Let's eat, guys.

Right hand.

You just soak it in there, huh?

Hey, hold up, hold up.

Did you wash your hands?

Yeah.

I'm so happy that we finally got

some time to each other,

now that you got a nanny and all.

I know.

I told you things would get better, right?

Are you sure about this?

Yeah, yeah, no, it's fine. It's fine.

Ew!

Gross!

- I got her shoes. - Let's put the fufu on it.

- Yes! - Yes!

This is awesome.

Oh.

Yes.

Okay, let's go.

You know what?

We should go to the beach next week.

That sounds fantastic.

It does, doesn't it?

Let me just call Ray and make sure that he's free too.

What?

Why does he have to be included?

Because he's fun.

I'm not fun to hang out with?

Oh!

Oh, it's my fufu!

Oh, they soaked those...

The disrespect!

Are those my shoes?

Oh, those children.

You're very fun.

It's just more fun with Ray,

and I look tougher when I walk around with him

'cause he's got big muscles.

No, I disagree.

It's not happening.

You better not answer that.

- It could be important. - Stop it.

We don't know.

No, don't you dare.

Don't you dare.

Hello?

Wow.

No.

They did what?

- All of it? - What's going on?

Okay, okay, okay, I'll be right there.

What's going on?

I gotta go.

What do you mean you have to go?

Take care of the bill, okay?

No, I'm the lady!

- That's so messed up! - Baby, you got this.

You're the lady.

Baby, equality!

Ow!

This is your fault!

Excuse me?

You better help her!

You're the one that's running out on me like a jerk!

Those terrible children.

I cannot stay here.

Evil children.

I know what you need.

I know exactly what you need.

Just cleanse this house!

Evil, evil children, just cleanse it!

Wanda, Wanda!

Lafonda, please, there's gotta be something we can do.

It's Lafonda!

Evil, evil!

Please don't go!

We need you!

We need you!

Please!

Kids!

Kids!

April!

May!

Archer!

One day?

Not one day?

Things were supposed to be different!

Evil!

Yes!

Nice work, guys.

And this isn't where I left my hat.

You guys know no one touches my hat!

Evil!

Can you believe this?

Yeah.

I believe it.

You gotta do something to help me, Doc.

I'm about to lose it, like for real lose it this time.

Just gotta relax, Slater, okay?

They're more like you than you realize.

What?

I'm nothing like them.

They are your family.

You're saying that I'm arrogant?

Self-obsessed?

Lazy?

Degenerate?

No.

You do.

Can't believe I pay you for this.

I'm an excellent cook, and I give the best back massages.

I can demonstrate.

No, I'm good.

I'd rather know how you are with kids.

I'm excellent with kids.

Kids love me, and I love them,

and I just felt I was called to be your nanny.

And also it's just your rates.

As a one-star nanny, it's a little high in my opinion,

unless this was pesos, of course.

For you, it could be.

Well, you can't beat that.

I'm gonna hold you to that.

- You're hired. - Awesome.

You won't regret this.

- All right. - Here, let me show you.

Show me what?

Let me show you.

I give the best back massages

- in the world. - Your hands are massive.

Wow, they're like bear's paws!

How tall are you again?

I'm six-one.

Do you hear that?

My spine is cracking.

Let me get it.

No, no, Carlos.

I can't go out with you this weekend.

I already told you, I got a job,

and it's beautiful here.

Yes, me.

Carlos, stop asking me out.

It's completely awkward.

You're my cousin's sister's best friend.

I know I'm beautiful.

Plus, my boss here, I think he's giving me googly eyes.

I just need you to check up on little Juanito

and Chacho for me, okay?

Thank you.

I could get used to this.

Nice.

Aw, you guys sound wonderful.

I got y'all a gift.

Here you go.

Yay.

Just to add a little culture in your life.

What do you think?

What is it?

It's a blanket.

My grandmother made it.

From the Holy Mountain of Guadalupe.

What's around your neck?

It's a rosary.

It was my mother's.

It's my most prized possession.

If it's hers, why isn't she wearing it?

Well, my mother's in heaven.

So she's dead?

Go, go, go, go.

I know you took it!

I know you took it!

Give me my rosary!

Give me my rosary!

Hey, whoa!

Give it to me!

What'd you do?

This little brat stole my rosary.

How do you know it was her?

Look into her beady little eyes.

She's a thief.

They all are.

Listen, we're gonna find it, okay?

And if we don't, I'll buy you another one.

It's just a silly little necklace.

I think I saw it at Walmart once.

Silly little necklace?

You think you saw it at Walmart?

My mom looked me right into the eyes on her deathbed

and said, "Alicia Venegas Robledo",

"guard this with your life."

"I love..."

And then she died.

Listen, I didn't know it was like that.

I promise you, we're all gonna double up

and we're gonna find it right now.

It's too late.

They probably already destroyed it.

That's impossible, I promise you.

No.

We could have been great together.

Live-in nanny for hire.

- Whoa! - Oh my God!

Pack of pickled peppers.

Where's the pack of pickled...

Thank you.

Let me just show you around, okay?

Archer, stop.

What are you doing?

Archer.

What are you doing in here?

I want your children.

No, you're crazy!

Get outta here!

I will never have a child with you!

Please?

You're fired!

You're fired!

Why am I fired?

Because you're insane!

Go!

I smell cookies.

Oh Jesus!

Oh Lord!

They just set me on fire!

Hi there.

Is Slater here?

Slater, it's for you.

That's it, I'm done.

I've tried everything.

Now you're just gonna give up?

I don't see any other choice.

I can't beat the stress.

Okay, what's really going on here?

What's the matter?

It's my sisters and my brother.

They're just giving me a hard time, you know?

They're chasing away everybody I get

to help out with the house, you know?

All these nannies, and it's getting to the point,

if I don't find a good one, that's it for me.

What do you mean?

I'm done.

What do you mean you're done?

I mean you might as well just write up my will now.

I can do that.

What do you want?

Just leave everything I have to global warming prevention

and wildlife preserves in South Africa and South America

and wherever else flamingos are indigenous to.

They're very important to me.

Flamingos.

Yeah.

Yes!

Woo!

Five stars.

Ooh, I knew one of you would reply finally.

Yes.

Howdy.

I'm Young Ah.

Young Ah.

Truly,

you were the first five-star nanny to reply to us,

and it's like my prayers have been answered.

Thank you.

How do you say thank you in your language?

- What? - I don't know.

It's just all a little much.

I don't think I'm ready still.

Slater, all the board of directors wants

is to meet the new CEO, which is you.

CEO, it sounds a lot like GMO.

I don't want anything

- to do with that. - No.

CEO, chief executive officer.

That's you.

That's a lot of big words.

- It's really good. - Good food.

- Mm-hmm. - Thank you, guys.

Yeah.

- I'll get it. - Are you sure? Thank you.

Hi, come on in.

Oh, hey!

- You must be the new nanny. - Nice meeting you.

Nice meeting you too.

- Come on in. - Okay.

All right.

Brochacho!

What's up, man?

What's up, brother?

Dude, what's new?

Dude, adulting.

That's pretty much it, goals and gains.

Check 'em out.

You see that?

Actually, those tris do look bigger than last time.

I've been juicing for two weeks.

- Good, man. - Oh yeah.

Cousin, Aisha.

Oh yeah.

- Hi. - Hi, I'm sleazy.

- Slater. - I'm Slooter, Slater.

- Slater. - Slater.

I've actually heard a lot about you.

Hope they were good things.

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

Shh.

You're gonna sleep here?

Mm-hmm.

Come on in.

Your spot.

Your pillow, Korean pillow.

Your blanket.

Sleep good.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

This movie sucks.

You can't even read the subtitles.

They're too small.

Is Young Ah ever coming back?

I wish, but probably not.

Life never goes the way you want it to.

I mean, look at Ms. Kim here.

All she wanted to do was be with Mr. Park.

Have a gluten-free veggie straw.

Hey.

Oh, you're looking at nannies, huh?

Yeah, I'm just trying to find one

they can't scare off so easily.

Ooh, perfect.

This Juliette K. Looks good.

Her profile picture,

she's throwing a gang sign it looks like.

You know what?

She could really whip them into shape.

Yeah, she looks tough.

Mm, I like it.

Says she's been booked four times.

We don't need a nanny.

Dude, get outta here and take that costume off.

You look stupid.

I said we don't need a nanny.

Hey, what are you doing with that?

At this close range, do you know what that can do?

Those things hurt, man.

Put it down.

Hey, what is this?

Put...

No.

We're serious.

Oh, you're serious. You think you can come in here

and lay down the law and strong-arm me?

Get the one he loves!

No, please, no!

No, guys, no!

Stop it, you monsters!

They're brats!

I'm allergic!

- Get it outta here! - Come here! Come here!

Whoa.

- I don't think it's that bad. - Stay still.

I'm highly allergic.

Shh.

It's gonna be okay.

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

Is that really necessary?

- Yes! - Okay!

Call 911!

Okay, I don't have a phone!

No, no, no!

Aisha, Aisha, I'm good.

This isn't the first time April's got me.

Shh, yeah.

You really need help up?

Yes, please.

All right.

Okay, you gotta help a little.

Are you sure you're okay?

I don't know.

I'm in a lot of pain.

Kids!

They know I'm allergic.

They're animals.

They're cute though.

Are they?

I feel like I have a fever. Can you check?

It doesn't feel like you have a fever.

It feels hot.

I feel like fire.

I think you just need a good cup of tea.

I don't know.

I just drink coffee exclusively.

Black, organic.

I don't know.

I'll try it.

I don't know if we have anything organic.

Maybe you can check for us?

Yeah, yeah.

Sure, I can go look.

Thank you.

Can you help me?

- Okay. - My body is a temple,

and I can only put the finest ingredients in here.

Right.

Yeah, yeah, this is definitely organic.

Thank you.

So hot!

What, it's not that hot!

Okay, it's a little hot,

but it's gotta be hot, you know,

for the tannins to

move around your body.

Well, I guess I can respect that.

Okay.

Now my tongue's on fire.

My leg's in pain.

My sinuses, my allergies are just, ooh.

I'm imploding, and I don't have any Mucinex D!

I really think that you just need to calm down.

You just need to relax.

Wow, you have a lot of tension in your shoulders,

right here specifically, here.

Hey, hold on!

What is going on here?

What are you doing here?

You forgot?

You were supposed to take me shopping.

Well, there was a dog, and my sinus-

- Who is this?

I'm-

- This is the new nanny.

You know we've been going through nannies

like toilet paper, okay?

So like I really had to buckle down and find a good one.

When did she start?

Well, I-

- She started today.

That's why she's here, Lana.

Hmm.

I'm Aisha.

Lana, his future wife.

Nice to meet you.

I'll be waiting in the car for you.

You do know I need a job, right?

Shopping really does take it out of me.

I am so tired.

But I deserved it.

At least I have my organic energy drink.

It really helps me get my chi in order.

So, I have been thinking we could get

married.

Your reign of terror has come to an end.

Fight for me.

My own sisters!

Betrayal!

Enough!

It's done.

It'd be so amazing and beautiful,

and we could have our own home with our own kids.

Marriage, huh?

That's a big thing.

That's a big step and transition into adulthood.

I-

- Sweetheart, my parents think I'm getting a little old.

I mean, come on.

We would be amazing parents,

and you've seen my parental skills.

They are on point.

I feel like I really need to be there

for my brother and my sisters right now.

It's always been about them.

Yeah, I need to be there for them.

Okay, but

this is where we find a solution to that problem.

I know you may be worried,

but we can send them to boarding school.

Lana, I don't know how a school for surfing would help.

Wait, are you talking about that thing

where we send 'em out to another part of the world

all year round,

- away from their home? - No, no, no.

We see them during holidays,

and you know, they get structure in their lives.

They need that.

I agree, but that's not the answer.

That's not gonna happen.

They need to be here with family, Lana.

They can be a little annoying, you know, Slater.

They need to be here with their family,

and I'm the only one they have left,

and I'm going to be there.

That's out of the question.

I'll let you think about it, okay?

All right.

I'm gonna go now.

I'll see you later, okay?

Lana!

Hey!

See what I'm talking about? This is ridiculous!

No, no, no, no, no.

This is why I said boarding school, and they deserve it.

Lana, Lana, listen.

Lana.

You know what?

You need to get your priorities straight.

Lana!

- Actually. - Lana, thank God.

No, no.

- Lana. - I'm not talking to you.

This is not happening.

I forgot this.

That's all.

Hey.

No, the offer was legitimate.

Yeah, we would, we would love to have you.

What's up?

So I actually have plans for tonight.

I was wondering if you could

start watching the kids immediately.

Oh yeah, absolutely.

And I don't know how to say this exactly.

The kids, they can be a little...

A handful.

Okay.

And I don't know where they got it from,

but they're animals,

so just I'm looking out for your safety here, okay?

So just be safe.

Thanks.

It's probably nothing I can't handle.

Okay, I hope so.

I just, I can't afford another lawsuit.

Good luck.

Thank you, Aisha.

I appreciate it.

Yeah, have a good night.

Lana.

Lana, please, Lana, listen.

Listen, Lana.

Lana.

Lana.

Lana.

I'm sorry.

Lana, I'm sorry.

Listen, Lana.

How many times do I have to say it? I'm sorry, Lana!

Please.

Maybe until you actually mean it,

and when you get rid of those kids

and stop putting them before me.

Well, unfortunately, I'm all they got,

so I'm not going anywhere.

Well, you know what?

They can go to boarding school.

That's not gonna happen.

Yes it is.

No it's not.

Oh gosh.

Die!

Die, molester!

Die!

Okay, okay, okay, guys, it's time for bed.

We don't wanna go to bed.

Yeah, we don't need a nanny.

Okay.

Well, you got one, so it's bedtime.

Come on, march.

And you, you need to brush your teeth.

Hey, let me see those teeth.

Hand me that toothbrush.

There is nothing on this toothbrush.

Hand me that toothpaste.

I don't want toothpaste.

It's organic toothpaste.

You are just like your brother.

Can I brush your hair?

Sure.

Ooh, busted.

- That's mine. - Give me the banana, May.

No.

- May. - Give me, give me that.

I want the banana!

It's already mine.

- I claimed it. - Hey, cool it

with the banana.

There you go.

Okay.

Pancakes.

Oh, hey, your shirt's all messed up.

- Let me fix that for you. - No, it's fine.

- He's my brother. - I got this. I got this.

You're not gonna fix your shirt?

You are?

Oh, okay.

That's cool.

I bet all the girls at school dig a sloppy dresser, right?

Can we eat now?

Yeah.

Sure, here, let me get you your pancake.

Yeah, those are good.

What are you doing?

I'm praying over our food.

Why?

Because that's what Christians do.

Weirdo.

Yeah, get as high as you can get it.

I'm not tall.

Nice, that's good.

That's perfect.

Just hold it up so it doesn't fall

- by the time I get over here. - I switched the spot.

Yep, it's folding.

Is that the same height?

Eh, maybe.

Oh.

Okay.

Nice.

Guys, this looks great.

- Thank you. - Yeah, I thought so.

Except, you know, I don't think Slater would like this.

It's tacky being in the middle

and right in his face when he walks in.

Wouldn't he want to see, hmm, me?

I'll put it over there.

He's the birthday boy.

We'll do one more.

Thank you.

Hi, Lana.

You look so pretty tonight.

I wanna be like you when I grow up.

Thank you, April.

You're so sweet.

Your face is so symmetrical

and your nose is just my favorite part.

You're adorable.

Well, looks like things are coming together.

Slater's gonna love this.

And the fact that I made it perfect.

Lana.

Ray.

I didn't know this was a costume party.

What do you mean by that?

Nothing.

Guess we're all just clowning around.

Slater has the stupidest friends.

Okay guys, shh, shh.

He's here.

He's here.

Hello?

Anybody here on this day of no particular event?

Surprise!

You guys got me!

I was so surprised!

To my number one man.

Happy birthday.

You don't want me getting a big head or anything.

Oh.

Were you just waiting to do that all day?

Happy birthday, old man.

What's new?

Hey man, gains.

That's it, brother.

Gains, there we go.

Hey, baby?

What's...

What?

What is that?

Ew.

Oh my

God.

Anyways, I just want to make a little toast

to my future husband

and birthday man.

Guys?

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

I'm looking at the cake, not Aisha!

♪ Happy birthday dear Sleazer ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ And many more ♪

Happy birthday.

Make a wish for us.

Oh, good morning.

Morning, Aisha.

How are you doing?

I'm great, how are you?

You look really nice.

You going on a date or something?

It's Sunday.

I always go to church on Sunday.

You wanna come with me?

To church.

Not really my scene.

Me and the big man, we kinda got something worked out.

Gotcha, okay.

Sure you don't wanna stay for breakfast?

Looks great, but I don't wanna be late for church.

Have a good day.

It's not like I slaved all morning

for this or nothing, so...

Uno.

You're mean.

Can we get a new nanny?

Uno!

Wait, I didn't say uno.

At least nobody's catching you.

- Whose turn is it? - Aisha,

so what did you do at church today?

Well, we learned about Jesus.

You really believe in all that stuff?

Yeah, I do.

Jesus is my savior.

Such a intelligent, beautiful woman such as yourself

really needs a savior?

We all do.

Well, not all intelligent,

beautiful people such as myself do.

Is that the time?

Lana's gonna kill me.

Okay guys, I will see you.

You're in good hands, okay?

Slater.

Slater.

Slater!

Hello?

Yeah baby, I'm here.

Doesn't seem like it.

Where's your mind tonight?

I'm fine, baby.

What is it?

Well, as I was saying,

my parents think I'm getting old,

and they wanna see grandkids.

Okay?

- This again. - What do you think?

Baby, I just, I told you I just don't think I'm ready.

Hey.

I'm glad you're home.

I fixed you a plate.

I am not really hungry.

Lost my appetite.

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

I also made some cheesecake.

I bet you have an appetite for that.

Grandkids.

What?

Nothing.

Here.

It's gluten-free.

No.

Slater!

What is going on here?

Lana, what are you doing here?

You left your phone, you jerk!

So I wanted to bring it to you, but I guess,

you know, you're having a lot of fun here.

No, no, no.

You know I don't have AppleCare, Lana.

I really do not care,

and I have had enough of whatever this is.

So if you really love her little homemade cheesecake,

then you can just have it!

Enjoy it!

Lana!

I might be in trouble here.

Lana still hasn't got back to me,

and she isn't answering any of my calls.

Maybe she's jealous.

Jealous?

Why would she be jealous?

About Aisha.

Aisha?

What about her?

She's just the nanny.

Well, you've had other nannies, Slater,

but you actually talk about this one like she's special.

Special.

Who are you?

What was that?

Oh no, what's going on?

And I heard no one was supposed to home!

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Okay.

You're okay.

You're okay.

What's going on?

Hey, hey, come here.

I need you to take April into my room.

No, don't leave.

I'm gonna be right there, I promise.

Take April into my room and lock the door.

Don't open the door for anybody but me, okay?

Go, go, run, now.

Hey guys, what's going on?

Oh, I'm so glad you're home.

Excuse me,

- why are you hugging my man? - 12 times,

and you didn't answer your phone.

Get off of him.

Kids, are you guys okay?

I'm sorry, guys.

That's terrible.

You smell awful.

Yeah, I had a few cold ones, guys,

but don't let my good night ruin your sadness.

Okay, kids, y'all need to stop judging

because that is an aroma of a good time, okay?

- Lana. - Okay.

Seriously, how did they come in?

They broke in the window in your room.

- In my room? - Yeah.

In my safe space.

You're perfect.

Lana?

Hey.

What?

What's wrong with you?

They're scared.

Someone just broke in the house.

Don't you understand that?

Why does everything have to be about those kids?

I am sick and tired of them.

Everything should be more about us, okay?

This never would've happened

if they had gone to boarding school already!

Boarding school?

Again?

Do you think Slater could actually send us away?

No.

I really, really don't think that that will happen.

Why aren't you scared?

Well, I was.

I was scared.

But then I remembered that Jesus is taking care of us.

I mean, look at us.

We're all fine.

All we really have to do now is just reinforce the windows.

Who's Jesus?

Here.

Let me read this.

I think this will actually explain better than I can.

For God so loved the world

that he gave his one and only begotten Son,

that whoever believes in him should not perish,

but have everlasting life.

And God's son is Jesus.

Jesus died for people?

Yeah, He did.

He died for you, and He died for you, May,

and Archer, and me, and Slater, even Lana.

And then He came back to life.

I knew zombies were real.

She's been pressuring me to get married.

I got a lot going on.

I don't know.

Why do I smell tamales?

Oh, wow, you guys look so great.

What's the occasion?

Oh, we're just celebrating.

Great!

What are you celebrating?

Slater, why don't you tell her?

Tell her!

Lana and...

We've decided that I am, I suppose, and...

You're gonna suppose?

Speak up.

Speak up!

I'm going to propose to my beautiful girlfriend

and make her my fiance and live happily ever after.

- Wow! - Is that amazing?

Congratulations!

That's fantastic.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

We're so happy.

Good.

- We really are. - Me too.

Fabulous, well...

Okay, well, bye.

Okay.

Bye.

I had such a great time ring shopping with you today.

Yeah, I thought it was something the guy does

and he surprises the girl, but I guess everyone's different.

Well, you know, it has to live up to my standards,

and the design has to be perfect.

So, thank you for understanding, honey.

- Yes, ma'am. - So sweet of you.

Well,

cheers.

I'm gonna make you so happy.

I know you will.

Mm.

Drink some more.

Actually a little tired, so I'm good.

Oh?

Well, I have a surprise for you.

Close your eyes.

All right, open them.

Ta-da!

What's this?

It's just the top 10 boarding schools in North America.

The kids would be on the same continent as us.

Boarding schools again, huh?

I thought-

- I'm thinking about our future, Slater.

I thought that we'd been over this.

It's not gonna happen.

That's never going to happen, Lana.

Please.

I think you should leave.

Good riddance.

What have you done to my little brother?

The only good one left in my family!

He was a nuisance!

And he was mildly annoying.

You're pure evil.

You must be stopped!

I will stop you!

You have never been able to defeat me.

No, I'm a man!

You're whipped!

You're whipped!

No, I'm in control!

I am-

But what about me?

Easily.

You'll kill me!

Yes!

The evil has been defeated!

The galaxy is safe!

Yes!

And it's all thanks to you and Jesus!

I'm leaving because I wanna leave, okay?

Okay.

Slater, this is still mine, and so is this.

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God.

Your spirit is good.

Lead me in the land of-

Oh.

Hello?

Hi, Barry.

Oh my gosh.

What's up?

Really?

Well, what are you doing here?

For me?

Wow, I...

Okay.

You know, I've been praying for you.

Yeah.

Tonight?

Yeah, I would love to.

Hold on.

Hold on one second.

Here, I'm gonna call you back, okay?

I'm okay.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

Are you really okay?

Oh, hey, Slater.

Hey, what's up?

I was wondering,

are you gonna be home kind of early-ish tonight or...

Actually, I do think I do have plans.

Okay, okay.

I have a friend in town, so...

Okay, a friend, all right.

Yeah.

I wanted you to meet him.

Him.

Yeah, well, that sounds...

Yeah, sounds good.

What's wrong, Slater?

She's out tonight with some Missionary Barry.

Does that bother you?

Bother me?

No.

Why would it bother me?

Since we've been here, all you've done is complain.

I mean, how much do we really know about Missionary Barry?

Sounds like you could be jealous.

Jealous?

Me?

No.

No.

No way.

I did.

You did?

Barry.

You are still the same.

I really had a great time tonight.

Me too.

I gotta be honest.

The last time I was out in the mission field,

there were some really dangerous times,

and I guess I just wanna say it's been great being back.

I'm really glad you're safe.

I guess I'll talk to you soon.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

- Drive safe. - Okay.

Hello?

Is somebody there?

What are you doing in the dark?

Hey.

Just getting a gluten-free bagel.

What's with the third degree?

It's my house.

Oh, yep.

Okay.

You're the new CEO, Slater.

You gotta show your face.

I mean, this is my dad's company.

He earned it.

I didn't earn it.

I didn't- Listen, it doesn't matter.

You're the one in charge now.

Step up

and do your job.

Yeah, I'll try to make the next meeting.

Great.

Great.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God

and His righteousness, and all these things

shall be added to you.

Therefore, do not worry-

- Hey, Slater.

Sorry, Latonia.

Would you like to join us?

What's this?

We're having our Bible study.

So that's what you meant when you...

No, thank you.

Looks like fun though.

You guys look like good people.

Wouldn't steal anything from a family home.

Children who just lost the parents, you know.

Just remember

whenever those carnal instincts rise up, just,

what would Jesus do?

Right, have a good time, guys.

Aisha, I thought you said this was gonna be okay.

It's fine, really.

He's just...

He gets...

He's quirky.

Okay.

- Hope so. - Alrighty, verse 34.

Hey, how's Lana?

Well, she's all right, I guess.

You planning on proposing anytime soon?

I haven't even met her parents.

Oh.

The whole thing is scary.

I don't know.

Okay, well, I'll be praying for you.

Pray for me?

Why would you pray for me?

It's 'cause you're a good person.

You know, Aisha, I never thought about it.

You really do care about other people.

You're gonna make some guy really happy one day.

Thank you.

Sir, your order.

Thank you.

That looks amazing.

Would you like some cotton candy?

Yes, please.

For the lady.

Hey, hey!

Kids, this is mine!

What?

Hey, you gotta share, May.

Aisha, would you like some pineapple juice?

Maybe a little wine later?

Wine turns into-

- Wine?

Pineapple juice is what I said.

Oh.

How long have you been there?

Hello?

Oh, hi, Barry.

Fine.

Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way out right now.

Okay.

Okay, I'll see you in a bit.

Okay, bye.

Where are you going?

Church.

It's Sunday.

You have to go every Sunday?

Well, I don't have to, but I want to.

Do you wanna come?

Maybe next time.

Okay.

Hey, Aisha.

Yeah.

You look really nice.

Thank you.

Barry.

Missionary Barry.

Judge not, that you be not judged,

for with what judgment you judge-

Gosh.

So difficult.

I'm fine, by the way.

It will be measured back to you.

Aren't you worried what they're wearing?

Okay, I've had enough.

She's taking over your house.

You need to fire her.

Just...

Fire her.

Fire Aisha.

No, no, no, no.

- Stop it. - Shh.

- Stop it. - Shh.

- Shh. - No, this is embarrassing!

Quit it!

You know what, Slater?

It's either her or me, okay?

You can have your little goody-goody church girl,

or your gorgeous, loving, kind, and intelligent fiance.

Hmm?

Maybe I choose her.

Are you crazy?

Maybe I am just a little crazy.

What is wrong with you?

We are done!

We are over, Slater!

Please, Lana, don't go!

I'm so sad!

Please, I'm sorry!

Oh, what, you all enjoy the show at my house?

Here, move over.

I probably need some of this.

Excuse me, sir, that's my seat.

Sir, I always sit there!

Thank you.

And my sugar-free bonbons there.

Whew, you need to change the air in here.

Good morning.

How are you feeling?

Yeah.

Is Lana here?

No, no.

She actually...

You probably wanna call her.

Oh no.

Oh yeah, mm-mm.

Okay.

I went ahead and I made you some tea.

No thank you.

I think I'd be better with some coffee, black.

Extra black, if you can.

Yeah, tea's gonna be better.

I was, I wanted to ask you.

I wanted to know if it was okay

if I invited a friend over for dinner tonight.

Barry.

Guys?

Would you listen to that?

This house is so quiet without the kids.

I'm so happy.

One of their friends decided to let them sleep over.

Wow.

I need to step in more often.

Kids can be a handful.

Yeah.

Yeah, they

need prayer.

We all do.

So,

Barry, tell me about yourself.

I'm just a missionary.

You're just a Missionary Barry.

He's not just a missionary.

Barry, you're a great missionary.

Well, I've been in Indonesia the past five years working

in a children's orphanage.

Do they have social media out there?

Fresh farmer's markets or-

- Local coffee shops.

- Yes. - Must.

That's a must.

We don't really have those,

those kinds of luxuries actually.

So why do you do it?

You know, honestly, when you see what God is doing

in the hearts of those children day in and day out,

there's really nothing that's more rewarding.

Well, you know,

I've always wanted to be a missionary myself.

It's just I haven't gotten around to it because there's,

you know, I got, I got things to do.

Oh, that's great.

Where have you been called?

Yeah, Missionary Slater, where have you felt called?

DQ.

I've never heard of DQ.

Where's that?

It's near Afghanistan, and you know,

the kids there are very impoverished.

Well, the thing is, the Lord's still moving on my heart

on where He wants to place me.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

You guys ready?

For what?

For church, of course.

You're coming with us?

It's Sunday, right, kids?

We always go to church on Sundays.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Well, in that case,

I actually had something made for you a while ago.

A Bible.

- That's right. - Yay!

I think every missionary needs his own Bible.

With their name on it.

That's what you made for me.

Cool.

Now everyone can know this is Slater's Bible.

- Yay. - Cool.

All right, all right, I'll lead the way, guys.

I've been there many times.

Oh yeah, this way.

- This way, sorry. - One question.

- What's that? - He'll lead the way.

Why that shirt?

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

Why does everyone have their hands up like this again?

Well, in the Bible, this is how we surrender to God.

I knew that.

Actually, it's a little more like that.

Yeah.

I knew that.

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

It is the presence of the Holy Spirit

that makes the word of God alive, makes it come alive to us.

And this was what happened

in a conversation recorded in John, chapter three.

Nicodemus said to him,

"It's evident that God is with you"

"because you're doing this stuff."

But he came to ask Jesus

about the subject of being born again,

which is what I want to talk briefly to you today about

is being born again.

What does he mean by born again?

I've already been born.

That doesn't make sense.

Well...

I'll explain it all afterwards.

Maybe we should just listen.

I am listening.

I just want him to explain it.

Can he enter a second time

into his mother's womb and be born?

I'm listening.

Jesus said to Nicodemus, "That which is born of flesh-"

I didn't know church was so scary.

It's not always.

But that which is born of spirit is spirit.

What he was speaking to Nicodemus about

is not natural birth, but is spiritual birth.

Hi.

I'm Ava.

Hey, I'm Missionary Slater.

Wow, missionary.

Where have you been?

Africa?

Hey, guys.

Slater, we don't wanna go tonight.

Why?

I thought you guys loved going to Colleen's house.

Last time we went, Kyle jumped off a cliff,

and then we had to go to the ER

and sit in the car for two hours.

It was 80 degrees outside.

Well, the chances of that happening again

are very small, I promise.

You don't know Kyle.

Listen, tonight's a big night for me.

I need you guys to take one for the team, all right?

Go have fun with Colleen.

Now how do I look?

Snazzy.

Terrible.

Eh.

Well, Ray's in the car waiting for you guys.

Best behavior, all right?

Come here.

But his car smells like IcyHot.

And fruit.

Yeah.

He has been on that juice cleanse,

but just ask him to roll the window down.

It'll be all right, I promise.

Hey, what are you doing?

You gotta get outta here.

She just came down the stairs.

Go.

Okay, okay.

Go, go, get outta here.

Go, go, go.

Hey, Aisha!

Hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hold on.

I'm gonna put this on you.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Okay, okay, okay.

Right here, right here.

Don't bump me into anything.

Yeah.

I wouldn't hurt you.

Don't worry.

- Oh, oh, okay. - Just take seat right there.

Okay, oh, okay.

Oh!

Okay.

All right.

And...

Oh.

Okay.

Oh my gosh!

This looks amazing.

Did you make all of this?

Yeah.

Wow.

Would you like something to drink?

Um...

It's just juice.

It's a sparkling grape juice.

Oh.

No, thank you.

I'm fine with...

Is this tea?

- Sweet tea. - Yes.

That's good.

This looks fantastic.

This is crazy.

Why are you looking at me like that?

You're not redheaded and loud,

and you're just not Lana.

It's crazy.

What an interesting choice of compliment.

Well, let's dig in.

I really...

You know, I don't get to have a lot of fancy dinners,

but everyone knows that I'm the epitome of class, you know?

So any chance I get to show off my skills of class,

I appreciate it.

Undoubtedly.

This is my great-grandmother's secret recipe.

Wow.

Yeah, she would serenade it her special sauce for two days

and roast it slowly over a blue flame.

Well, this is delicious.

What's that noise?

I think my jaw is clicking.

It's weird.

It only happens when I'm nervous,

but I'm clearly not nervous or anything.

So Aisha, I know you don't mind

if I get down to the real nitty-gritty things and-

- Yeah.

I ask you a little something personal?

Okay.

This missionary Barry, what's all that about?

What do you mean?

Who is he to you?

Barry is a very good friend.

Does he know that?

Yeah, absolutely.

Why?

Nothing.

I was asking for a friend.

Of course.

You know,

I wrote you a song.

Did you really?

Yeah, but you probably wouldn't wanna hear it.

What?

No, of course I do.

You sure?

What did you write?

I mean, I'm not really prepared, but this is.

How did you do that?

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Your eyes are so beautiful and green tonight ♪

♪ They make me want to do the right thing in my life ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

I mean, it's just, it's a work in progress.

I only wrote a little bit last night, you know.

That was beautiful.

You know what really- No, it was bad.

I'm embarrassed.

You know what really made it?

Your facial expressions.

Really?

Would you like to dance awkwardly in the moonlight?

Slater, I would love nothing more

than to dance awkwardly in the moonlight.

We're off to a good start with the awkwardness.

I mean, I thought it was the table,

but now I know it was you.

- Thanks for that. - Yes ma'am.

Nice.

I'll put my hands here.

A little higher.

Too high.

Right there.

Now close.

All the way.

There you go.

So...

I've been known to be very spontaneous

and just getting up doing magic things.

Oh really?

Yeah.

This is one of my special tricks.

Isn't this perfect, Aisha?

Isn't this everything you've ever wanted?

No.

Well, then why are we doing this?

We look stupid.

Thank you.

This food looks good.

I can't wait to eat.

Hey guys, hey guys.

Settle down, settle down.

We don't eat till we pray, okay?

Since when?

Since I became a Christian, right?

I'm a Christian too.

Right on, brother.

Let's all close our eyes and bow our heads.

Come on.

Can I pray?

Yeah.

Thank you for this food.

Amen.

Amen.

I'll take it.

- Amen. - Amen.

I'm really proud of you guys.

Things are looking up.

Where did he learn this type of behavior?

It's a mystery.

Let not your heart be troubled.

You believe in God.

Believe also in me.

In my Father's house, there are many mansions.

If it were not so, I would have told you.

I go to prepare a place for you.

I miss Mom and Dad.

Me too.

You know, we'll see 'em again one day.

In heaven?

Yeah, in heaven.

I love you guys.

Love you too.

Love you.

So I don't know if I told you this,

but I'm a Christian now.

A what?

A born-again Christian.

Oh, that's great.

That calls for a toast.

My best chardonnay.

Actually, no thank you.

I'm a real Christian.

Apparently we don't drink.

A real Christian.

What is that?

Let me show you.

You should come to our church on Sunday.

Church, yeah, uh-huh.

Let me think about it.

I also wanted you to set up a meeting

with the board of directors.

There's a couple things I wanna go over.

I'd like to see some changes.

Son of a gun.

It took becoming a Christian for you to decide that?

Well, there's just a lot in my life going on,

and trying to get everything organized and in order.

I think that's right.

So,

what time does church start?

You know, I'm really proud

of the changes that you've made.

I always knew you had a good heart.

Really?

Yeah.

God showed me this potential that you had,

and, well, He obviously wouldn't let me give up on you.

Well, thank you for being patient with me.

You're welcome.

Lana.

What are you doing here?

I really just wanna say goodbye.

I do still love you, but

I know you don't want me back,

and I've accepted that.

So I just need some closure.

Bye, Slater.

Hey, Aisha!

You gotta look at a picture of this ocelot.

It's so cute.

It's a baby.

I thought you'd changed.

Slater?

What are you guys doing?

Can we go to church tomorrow with Aisha?

Please?

Aisha?

Is that her on the phone?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, of course.

That's fine.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Yeah.

All right, go on.

Read some books.

You're the best.

Indeed, the trials of our life are real trials,

but thankfully we serve a real God.

So let's bow our heads

for a moment together in silent prayer.

Excuse me, sir.

May I sit there?

Sir, can I please sit down?

It's important.

Thank you.

What are you doing here?

I'm here to pray, Aisha.

I tried calling.

I know.

You know, it's really inappropriate

that you're here right now.

I just, I just wanted to give you this.

No.

Please.

Open it.

No.

Open.

Open the box.

No, I'm not going to open it.

- Just open it, please! - I'm not gonna open it!

Please!

Just open it so he shuts up!

Come on, open it.

It's okay.

Open it.

Open it!

Open it!

Open it!

Open the box.

Okay, okay, okay.

Oh.

I just want you to know how I feel.

See, I've always had a hard time expressing.

I feel like all these other women I've been with,

they've always brought out the worst in me,

but everything changed when I met you.

There's something different about you,

and I didn't know what it was,

but now I know it's because

the God that you believe in,

the God that we believe in, He's real.

And I know I love you.

Slater, you know, I knew from the minute that I saw you

that you were the one.

You were going to be a project,

but you were the one.

Well, thank you.

I love you too.

Yes.

All right, all right, all right.

Let's get our eyes back on the Lord.

Welcome our new creed!

Huzzah!

You know, Aisha?

Things are really starting-

- Shh.

April.

It's yours.

- Really? - Yeah.

Looks really good on you.

Thank you.

Ow.

Hey!

Hey!

Ow!

Can we give May away?

You hit me in the face!

You'll be fine.

It's not the first time.

Ow!

That does not make it better, okay?

Shh.

No one asked you to speak.

It was a game.

Can we give May away?

They like me best anyway.

I don't think anyone likes you the best.