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1
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,147
Shit.
2
00:01:13,701 --> 00:01:16,109
Fell off the chair.
3
00:01:16,204 --> 00:01:17,746
I wasn't, uh...
4
00:01:17,830 --> 00:01:21,329
I know you're wearing a skirt,
but I didn't see anything.
5
00:01:21,417 --> 00:01:24,418
Mostly trousers these days.
6
00:01:24,503 --> 00:01:27,623
Yeah, I prefer skirts. Healthier, isn't it?
7
00:01:28,758 --> 00:01:30,335
I imagine.
8
00:01:30,426 --> 00:01:33,629
Allows the air to, uh,
circulate around the...
9
00:01:36,181 --> 00:01:38,008
vagina!
10
00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:40,057
We're ready for you, Mr Garden.
11
00:01:41,228 --> 00:01:43,185
Yes, yes.
12
00:01:45,357 --> 00:01:47,148
We've had a letter of complaint
13
00:01:47,234 --> 00:01:50,982
stating that you are a
"negative and destructive influence"
14
00:01:51,071 --> 00:01:54,771
"on the smooth running
of the Blackpool Probation Office."
15
00:01:54,866 --> 00:01:59,327
I think whoever wrote that letter,
it's just a clash of personalities.
16
00:01:59,412 --> 00:02:01,619
It's signed by everyone in your office.
17
00:02:01,706 --> 00:02:04,791
Right, yeah, well, I mean,
that's what I mean.
18
00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:08,162
It's a clash between... me and them.
19
00:02:08,254 --> 00:02:13,082
"A negative and destructive
influence," Mr Garden.
20
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,587
Are they right?
21
00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:18,509
Well, if you think that
remembering a client's first name
22
00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:22,049
is less important than
claiming generous expenses,
23
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,934
then, yes, they're right.
24
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:28,432
If it's best for a client who's
just left prison for the 14th time
25
00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:31,774
to be passed on to yet another department,
26
00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:34,434
then, yes, they're right.
27
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:39,322
But I've seen over 1,000 clients
and I believe every single one...
28
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:42,364
Of these 1,000, how many
are now going straight?
29
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,121
Three.
30
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,331
Simon Garden was an inspiration.
31
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,669
My first day out, he gave
me a blank sheet of paper
32
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,961
and he said, "That's your future."
33
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:58,212
"You can write and apply for a job
or you can wipe your arse on it."
34
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,886
And I said, "I'm not afraid
to get my hands dirty."
35
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:05,674
Before I met Simon, I was
thievin' and hitting people.
36
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,393
But now...
37
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:10,017
I'm a fishmonger.
38
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,146
It's another string to me bow.
39
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,273
12 months ago, I was in prison.
40
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,480
Now I'm a sub-service
support network supervisor
41
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:21,023
providing PC, Mac and
mainframe infrastructure
42
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:22,944
with online E-task back-up.
43
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,112
Not many people can say that.
44
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:28,241
Do you have anything to
add regarding Mr Garden?
45
00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:31,578
He is annoying.
46
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:34,456
- It's true.
- He is annoying.
47
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,120
We talked to your clients, Mr Garden.
48
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,292
They're good people. I used to say,
49
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:43,334
"You're halfway up a mountain.
Crime is the easy path to the bottom.
50
00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:46,265
"Responsibility is the
hard path to the top.
51
00:03:46,350 --> 00:03:49,220
"But when you get there, it's a great view.
52
00:03:49,311 --> 00:03:52,265
- "Cos in every sinner..."
- Thank you.
53
00:03:52,356 --> 00:03:53,980
There's a vacancy in Manchester.
54
00:03:54,858 --> 00:03:56,685
I'll take it.
55
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:00,694
♫ Dreamer
56
00:04:00,781 --> 00:04:03,947
♫ You know you are a dreamer
57
00:04:04,034 --> 00:04:07,782
♫ Well, can you put your
hands in your head, oh, no
58
00:04:07,871 --> 00:04:10,492
♫ I said dreamer
59
00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:13,702
♫ You're nothing but a dreamer
60
00:04:13,793 --> 00:04:17,328
♫ So can you put your
hand in your head, oh, no
61
00:04:19,799 --> 00:04:23,049
♫ I said far out...♫ - Wanker.
62
00:04:23,136 --> 00:04:26,718
♫ What a day, a year, a laugh it is
63
00:04:26,806 --> 00:04:29,723
♫ You know... ♫
64
00:04:29,809 --> 00:04:32,430
♫ Well, you know you had
it coming to you... ♫
65
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:37,016
♫ Now there's not a lot I can do
66
00:04:37,108 --> 00:04:39,231
♫ Dreamer
67
00:04:39,318 --> 00:04:42,402
♫ You stupid little dreamer
68
00:04:42,488 --> 00:04:45,358
♫ So now you put your head
in your hands, oh, no ♫
69
00:04:45,449 --> 00:04:49,363
Hey! Slow down! Idiot!
70
00:05:24,821 --> 00:05:27,987
'Pull over, driver! Pull over!'
71
00:06:29,008 --> 00:06:31,380
Get away from there!
72
00:06:42,188 --> 00:06:44,477
You just saved that girl's life.
73
00:06:44,565 --> 00:06:47,187
DI Burton, City Police.
74
00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:50,063
Oh, right... sir.
75
00:07:00,831 --> 00:07:03,287
- Oh, hello. You must be Kirsty.
- Yeah.
76
00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:05,368
You all right? Got a bit of a...
77
00:07:05,461 --> 00:07:09,126
- Oh, uh, I-I fell.
- Right.
78
00:07:09,214 --> 00:07:13,508
Now... "Car theft, car theft, ram-raiding",
79
00:07:13,593 --> 00:07:17,923
"arson, car theft, car
theft and car theft."
80
00:07:18,014 --> 00:07:23,175
Expelled from St John Fisher's,
Hogarth, Glenbrook Junior.
81
00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:26,769
Not expelled from St Thomas Moore.
Why's that?
82
00:07:26,856 --> 00:07:28,267
It burnt down.
83
00:07:29,734 --> 00:07:33,898
Ah, yes. Hence the arson.
Yeah, all starting to make sense now.
84
00:07:33,988 --> 00:07:35,898
Ugh.
85
00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:39,027
You could hang your hat on that.
86
00:07:39,118 --> 00:07:41,277
Oh, huh, he is.
87
00:07:41,371 --> 00:07:43,944
Give that to me.
88
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,867
We'll come back to this.
89
00:07:48,377 --> 00:07:50,121
- Hello.
- Hello.
90
00:07:51,756 --> 00:07:55,705
- Big Dipper.
- Oh, uh...
91
00:07:55,801 --> 00:07:58,838
- You're interviewing Kirsty Clark?
- Yes.
92
00:08:00,306 --> 00:08:02,014
Kirsty! Kirsty!
93
00:08:02,099 --> 00:08:04,804
I've got you! Get off me!
94
00:08:04,893 --> 00:08:07,681
- Ah!
- There she is.
95
00:08:07,771 --> 00:08:11,105
Come on, Kirsty.
96
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:13,516
You've admitted to taking the car.
97
00:08:13,610 --> 00:08:17,608
Admit to possession of drugs
and we'll drop the other charges...
98
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:21,031
reckless driving, resisting arrest, arson.
99
00:08:21,118 --> 00:08:25,246
We'll call it a day, I'll take us
down the pub, buy us a pint of lager.
100
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:28,995
And half a shandy, if no one's
looking, for Mr Garden.
101
00:08:32,962 --> 00:08:36,663
All protesters charged today
can collect their bikes...
102
00:08:36,758 --> 00:08:38,750
- Inspector Burton?
- Hello, Simon.
103
00:08:38,843 --> 00:08:40,302
I know she stole the car,
104
00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:44,336
but she says she knew nothing
about the drugs and I believe her.
105
00:08:44,432 --> 00:08:46,674
You're new here, aren't you?
106
00:08:46,768 --> 00:08:49,175
She did have class A drugs on her person.
107
00:08:49,270 --> 00:08:51,512
She said the drugs were...
108
00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:55,057
- 'Ln a koala bear.'
- Were what?
109
00:08:56,277 --> 00:08:58,151
- Not hers.
- Listen.
110
00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:00,360
We got muggers and rapists to catch.
111
00:09:00,448 --> 00:09:05,109
We can't stand around, we're not
probation officers. No offence.
112
00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,451
Cheerio, Simon.
113
00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:14,375
There's something I forgot
to ask Inspector Burton.
114
00:09:14,461 --> 00:09:18,506
He'll be at 44 Faulkner Street.
Gets a lot of information there.
115
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:22,125
Oh, you know that gay porn magazine?
Wasn't mine.
116
00:09:22,219 --> 00:09:24,507
I've nothing against gays.
117
00:09:24,596 --> 00:09:27,134
It's just that, er... I am not gay!
118
00:09:27,224 --> 00:09:30,593
- Right.
- So, uh, given that,
119
00:09:30,685 --> 00:09:36,688
um, how would you like to have...
dinner with me one night?
120
00:09:36,775 --> 00:09:39,266
- OK.
- Oh, good!
121
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,104
See you later.
122
00:09:41,196 --> 00:09:43,568
- Ah!
- We'll meet again.
123
00:09:43,656 --> 00:09:45,530
Yes, very scary.
124
00:09:46,701 --> 00:09:48,492
Right. Occupation?
125
00:09:48,578 --> 00:09:50,369
Student.
126
00:10:27,032 --> 00:10:29,025
Ow!
127
00:11:17,831 --> 00:11:21,117
The accountants run football these days.
128
00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:26,334
See, they tell the managers
who they can and cannot buy.
129
00:11:26,423 --> 00:11:31,251
Come to think of it, we're
running everything these days.
130
00:11:32,054 --> 00:11:34,426
Accountants are running the world.
131
00:11:34,514 --> 00:11:37,930
Still, that ain't bad for business, is it?
132
00:11:38,018 --> 00:11:42,229
That's why Man U are winning
everything. It's down to money.
133
00:11:43,648 --> 00:11:45,890
- Where's Cochran?
- Polishing his shoes.
134
00:11:50,113 --> 00:11:53,363
Here's your girlfriend.
135
00:11:53,449 --> 00:11:57,150
- What about my Porsche?
- You're insured for fire and theft.
136
00:11:57,245 --> 00:11:58,869
Got something for me?
137
00:11:58,955 --> 00:12:01,991
Lovely.
138
00:12:03,251 --> 00:12:05,623
- Why the bonus?
- Golden handshake.
139
00:12:05,711 --> 00:12:08,997
Market's flooded with class A.
Gram of coke's 40 quid.
140
00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:13,039
Just not worth the risk, is it?
So we're goin' legit.
141
00:12:14,804 --> 00:12:18,635
Yeah, well, just one problem
with that as far as I can see. Me.
142
00:12:18,724 --> 00:12:22,591
And me. That's, uh, two problems.
143
00:12:22,686 --> 00:12:27,147
- We can't push our luck.
- It's not luck. I've been busy.
144
00:12:27,232 --> 00:12:31,147
I've just nailed some tart to cover
his arse. It's a good scam, Paul.
145
00:12:31,236 --> 00:12:33,478
You'll get a pension.
146
00:12:33,572 --> 00:12:37,439
Look at Al Pacino. You're just
a dwarf with a calculator.
147
00:12:37,534 --> 00:12:41,401
Yeah, I got a calculator, which is useful.
148
00:12:41,496 --> 00:12:45,873
Cos I can account for every bill,
receipt and cheque in boring detail.
149
00:12:45,959 --> 00:12:48,497
The taxman's always welcome at my house.
150
00:12:48,587 --> 00:12:50,709
If he was tipped off about you...
151
00:12:50,797 --> 00:12:54,925
Let's see. "He's a copper,
so he earns this much."
152
00:12:55,009 --> 00:12:57,679
"Bugger all. And he spends this much."
153
00:12:57,762 --> 00:13:01,213
"It doesn't make sense,
unless he's on the take."
154
00:13:07,563 --> 00:13:10,434
What the bloody hell you doin?
155
00:13:10,525 --> 00:13:12,601
Boss.
156
00:13:27,124 --> 00:13:31,038
- Still thinking of going legit?
- No, just changed me mind.
157
00:13:31,128 --> 00:13:33,666
- You've killed him.
- What?
158
00:13:33,756 --> 00:13:35,333
What?
159
00:13:35,424 --> 00:13:38,508
Some more crisps.
160
00:13:38,594 --> 00:13:41,085
Who's that?
161
00:13:42,264 --> 00:13:43,723
Coming out.
162
00:13:46,852 --> 00:13:49,259
- Who are you?
- Please don't shoot.
163
00:13:49,354 --> 00:13:52,474
- Are those my crisps?
- I'm hypoglycaemic.
164
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,772
Th-The opposite of, er, diabetes.
165
00:13:54,859 --> 00:13:57,944
I overproduce insulin,
my sugar levels crash,
166
00:13:58,029 --> 00:14:01,528
I get lethargic and I need
regular carbohydrate snacks.
167
00:14:01,616 --> 00:14:03,692
What are you doing here?
168
00:14:05,328 --> 00:14:07,367
I really don't know.
169
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:09,198
Oh, look, he's alive!
170
00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:12,994
Get him!
171
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,001
There he is!
172
00:14:35,357 --> 00:14:38,560
Uh, right, listen. Could
I just say something?
173
00:14:38,652 --> 00:14:41,523
If you attack me, I will go to the police.
174
00:14:41,613 --> 00:14:45,148
It'll be reported. You'll
have a criminal record.
175
00:14:45,242 --> 00:14:47,281
You've got one. OK.
176
00:14:47,369 --> 00:14:53,324
In my wallet, I've got...£40!
That's 20 each.
177
00:14:53,416 --> 00:14:55,409
Plus a cash card.
178
00:14:55,502 --> 00:14:58,622
It's got a £200 limit, of
which I've withdrawn 40.
179
00:14:58,713 --> 00:15:02,758
You've got that. Now, the PIN number.
It's the Battle of Hastings.
180
00:15:02,842 --> 00:15:05,547
Oh! Oh, my God!
181
00:15:05,637 --> 00:15:10,548
Oh! Oh, that really hurt! Oh, oh...
182
00:15:10,642 --> 00:15:13,215
- Oh, bloody shit!
- Bloody hell!
183
00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:17,854
Where is he?
184
00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:22,602
Oh, Gordon Bennett!
185
00:15:53,683 --> 00:15:56,221
I dunno. No sign of him.
186
00:16:01,858 --> 00:16:05,690
'Good morning, Manchester. It's 8:00.
187
00:16:05,779 --> 00:16:09,029
'A man out walking his dog
made a gruesome discovery
188
00:16:09,115 --> 00:16:13,160
'when he came across a headless
corpse on the Stockport Canal.
189
00:16:13,244 --> 00:16:18,618
'Police urgently seek the owner of
a wallet found near the body...'
190
00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:24,046
Hello, my name is Simon Garden.
I'd like to report a murder.
191
00:16:25,464 --> 00:16:30,506
Erm... I know I look a mess.
I, uh... I slept rough last night.
192
00:16:30,594 --> 00:16:33,465
I got punched in the face
by a man with a stick.
193
00:16:33,556 --> 00:16:35,548
Fell off a roof into a canal.
194
00:16:35,641 --> 00:16:38,393
Actually got a condom stuck on my finger.
195
00:16:38,477 --> 00:16:40,766
Eugh.
196
00:16:40,854 --> 00:16:44,804
I'm not a lunatic. I'm a probation officer.
197
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:47,687
Um... I know, same thing.
198
00:16:47,778 --> 00:16:52,356
But, no, this is murder and I'd like
to speak to a senior officer, please.
199
00:16:52,449 --> 00:16:54,525
Certainly, sir.
200
00:16:56,453 --> 00:16:58,991
Good.
201
00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:04,663
- Oh.
- Hello, Simon.
202
00:17:04,753 --> 00:17:06,876
Hello.
203
00:17:09,549 --> 00:17:13,132
I reckon we should, you know, rub him out.
204
00:17:13,219 --> 00:17:16,386
We can't rub people out.
We're police officers.
205
00:17:16,472 --> 00:17:18,548
Aye, of course.
206
00:17:18,641 --> 00:17:22,259
- What about the accountant?
- That was unfortunate.
207
00:17:28,484 --> 00:17:30,690
Are you just gonna let him go?
208
00:17:30,778 --> 00:17:34,479
For the time being. He's a very scared boy.
209
00:17:34,573 --> 00:17:37,942
He'll probably go back to
do-gooding in Toy Town.
210
00:17:38,035 --> 00:17:40,443
If he does talk, we'll pay him a visit.
211
00:17:40,538 --> 00:17:44,487
He'll find a kilo of Colombia's
finest and a head in his fridge.
212
00:17:44,583 --> 00:17:47,288
Let's look at the facts.
213
00:17:47,378 --> 00:17:51,589
I'm in charge of the investigation.
Your wallet's found near the body.
214
00:17:51,673 --> 00:17:55,089
You're... "helping police
with their enquiries".
215
00:17:55,177 --> 00:17:57,928
You're in a lot of trouble.
216
00:17:58,013 --> 00:18:00,634
But hang on. I think I can help you.
217
00:18:00,724 --> 00:18:05,884
If you keep your mouth shut,
the murderer may never be found.
218
00:18:05,979 --> 00:18:09,763
- You can't intimidate me.
- Let me give it a shot.
219
00:18:18,074 --> 00:18:20,280
If you open your mouth...
220
00:18:21,536 --> 00:18:25,616
I won't lay a finger on you,
but you'll go to prison.
221
00:18:25,707 --> 00:18:30,119
And when those nonces and perverts
get hold of a clever boy like you,
222
00:18:30,211 --> 00:18:32,038
and I'll make sure they do,
223
00:18:32,130 --> 00:18:35,083
they're gonna be queuing
up round the block.
224
00:18:35,174 --> 00:18:39,386
You're gonna end up with an arsehole
like a clown's pocket.
225
00:18:45,184 --> 00:18:47,093
That was pretty good.
226
00:18:54,276 --> 00:18:56,648
- Do you like Thai food?
- Why?
227
00:18:56,737 --> 00:19:01,066
I thought you'd like to celebrate
that you're no longer a suspect.
228
00:19:01,158 --> 00:19:04,740
I can't. I'm leaving. I'm not
really up to the job here,
229
00:19:04,828 --> 00:19:07,236
so I thought I'd go back to my old one.
230
00:19:07,330 --> 00:19:11,577
- If they'll have me.
- Well, what about a goodbye dinner?
231
00:19:11,668 --> 00:19:13,661
It's probably best if I just go.
232
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:17,751
I was going with a bunch of mates.
I thought you might join us.
233
00:19:17,841 --> 00:19:21,790
That's all. Don't worry.
You won't be missed.
234
00:19:21,886 --> 00:19:26,264
Listen. It's been really,
really nice working with you.
235
00:19:26,349 --> 00:19:31,509
Good luck with your career.
You'll go from strength to strength.
236
00:19:33,648 --> 00:19:35,308
Ditto.
237
00:19:35,399 --> 00:19:39,148
♫ I ain't got no home, ain't go no shoes
238
00:19:39,237 --> 00:19:43,400
♫ Ain't go no money, ain't got no class
239
00:19:43,491 --> 00:19:47,571
♫ Ain't got no skirts, ain't got no sweater
240
00:19:47,661 --> 00:19:50,698
♫ Ain't got no perfume,
ain't got no bed... ♫
241
00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:54,123
- See ya.
- ♫ Ain't got no mind... ♫
242
00:19:54,209 --> 00:19:55,668
Bye.
243
00:19:55,753 --> 00:19:57,829
♫ Ain't got no mother
244
00:19:57,921 --> 00:20:00,591
♫ Ain't got no culture
245
00:20:00,674 --> 00:20:04,209
♫ Ain't got no friends... ♫ - "Ditto."
246
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:08,134
♫ Ain't got no love... ♫ - "Ditto."
247
00:20:08,223 --> 00:20:12,517
♫ Ain't got no ticket, ain't got no token
248
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:16,137
♫ Ain't got no God ♫
249
00:20:16,231 --> 00:20:21,107
'You're gonna end up with
an arsehole like a clown's pocket.'
250
00:20:21,194 --> 00:20:23,103
Ahhh!
251
00:20:28,535 --> 00:20:31,204
'Inspector, four days ago
252
00:20:31,287 --> 00:20:34,454
'you rescued a 15-year-old
girl from a burning car.
253
00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:36,332
'What's it like to be a hero?'
254
00:20:36,417 --> 00:20:38,576
'l was just doing my job,
255
00:20:38,669 --> 00:20:42,453
'and any other officer would
have done the same as me.
256
00:20:42,548 --> 00:20:47,127
'If this thing helps people see
through the uniform, that's great.'
257
00:20:47,219 --> 00:20:51,299
'You're to receive this year's
Police Federation bravery medal.
258
00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:54,973
'Looking forward to the Town Hall
awards ceremony next week?'
259
00:20:55,060 --> 00:20:59,105
'Yes, very much, but I'll still
be working. Business as usual.
260
00:20:59,189 --> 00:21:02,107
'Criminals don't take days off, you know.'
261
00:21:36,059 --> 00:21:37,469
Five, please.
262
00:21:40,438 --> 00:21:42,181
Six.
263
00:21:43,316 --> 00:21:45,723
- Oh. Sex.
- Ah, sex!
264
00:22:17,516 --> 00:22:20,849
Bill, have we got any more of that sake?
265
00:22:26,650 --> 00:22:31,062
Ah. Bill. Where's Tuesday's tape?
266
00:22:31,154 --> 00:22:34,523
- It should be there.
- I've just given it to the boss.
267
00:22:34,616 --> 00:22:38,234
Right. William. Do me a favour.
Could you hold this?
268
00:22:38,328 --> 00:22:40,534
Stay there just one second.
269
00:22:42,707 --> 00:22:44,201
Where's that sake?
270
00:22:44,292 --> 00:22:47,127
Bill's just getting it.
Where'd the boss go?
271
00:22:47,211 --> 00:22:49,963
To put something in his safety deposit box.
272
00:22:50,047 --> 00:22:52,420
- Thank you.
- Hang on. Who are you?
273
00:22:53,593 --> 00:22:57,092
John. John Jones.
274
00:23:49,105 --> 00:23:51,263
- Can I help you?
- You're nicked.
275
00:23:51,357 --> 00:23:54,109
What? I... Oh, my God! Emma, it's you!
276
00:23:54,193 --> 00:23:58,985
- So I thought you were leaving town.
- Uh, no, I-I changed my mind.
277
00:23:59,073 --> 00:24:01,315
You look absolutely gorgeous.
278
00:24:01,409 --> 00:24:05,489
- I'm a prostitute.
- Right.
279
00:24:07,873 --> 00:24:10,411
Why? Don't the police pay you enough?
280
00:24:10,501 --> 00:24:12,493
No, I'm undercover.
281
00:24:12,586 --> 00:24:15,622
Very convincing. Yeah. You fooled me.
282
00:24:16,882 --> 00:24:19,455
- We can't really talk here.
- Why?
283
00:24:19,551 --> 00:24:21,176
Miami Vice.
284
00:24:22,554 --> 00:24:25,840
Do you want a coffee? Yes.
285
00:24:25,933 --> 00:24:28,139
Why were you staring at that bank?
286
00:24:28,226 --> 00:24:30,800
Um, I'm thinking of robbing it.
287
00:24:42,449 --> 00:24:44,774
- Simon!
- Hello, George.
288
00:24:44,868 --> 00:24:46,196
Come in, come in.
289
00:24:47,579 --> 00:24:50,864
Anyone fallen off the
roller coaster recently?
290
00:24:50,957 --> 00:24:53,993
No. I inspect it every day.
291
00:24:55,336 --> 00:24:57,210
Don't worry about me, Simon.
292
00:24:57,296 --> 00:25:00,083
I will never go back to a life of crime,
293
00:25:00,174 --> 00:25:02,083
and it's all down to you.
294
00:25:02,176 --> 00:25:06,126
So, if you ever want a favour,
all you have to do is ask.
295
00:25:06,222 --> 00:25:08,594
Well, I'm glad you say that.
296
00:25:08,682 --> 00:25:12,514
Because I would like you to help me...
297
00:25:14,188 --> 00:25:15,730
Yes?
298
00:25:17,316 --> 00:25:19,308
Rob a bank.
299
00:25:19,401 --> 00:25:21,809
This is a test, isn't it?
300
00:25:21,904 --> 00:25:24,691
No, no. No, this is
technically not a crime.
301
00:25:24,782 --> 00:25:28,032
We're not taking money. Just
a videotape of a murder.
302
00:25:28,118 --> 00:25:33,574
George, it was horrific.
I saw a man strangle a human being.
303
00:25:33,665 --> 00:25:35,325
Well, an accountant.
304
00:25:35,417 --> 00:25:38,667
No, you can't tempt me.
305
00:25:38,753 --> 00:25:41,790
- The murderer is a police officer...
- No.
306
00:25:41,882 --> 00:25:43,589
- In charge of the...
- No!
307
00:25:43,675 --> 00:25:48,171
This is not role play. I can't
go to the police. I've been framed!
308
00:25:50,974 --> 00:25:52,931
I've no one else to turn to.
309
00:25:54,310 --> 00:25:58,972
Look, you always said crime
is the easy path to the bottom.
310
00:25:59,065 --> 00:26:01,437
And now you want me to rob a bank?
311
00:26:01,526 --> 00:26:06,234
It's like asking a reformed
drug addict to have one last hit.
312
00:26:28,802 --> 00:26:31,589
What do you think about what I just said?
313
00:26:32,973 --> 00:26:37,884
Oh. That makes sense.
314
00:26:42,649 --> 00:26:46,860
I shouldn't have had that curry.
But I'm all right now.
315
00:26:59,666 --> 00:27:02,417
Sorry!
316
00:27:02,502 --> 00:27:04,790
Let me off! Let me off!
317
00:27:12,220 --> 00:27:14,461
Hang on! But you used to say,
318
00:27:14,555 --> 00:27:19,051
"You're halfway up a mountain.
Crime's the easy path down.
319
00:27:19,143 --> 00:27:22,227
- "Responsibility..."
- "Get there, it's a great view."
320
00:27:22,313 --> 00:27:25,397
Yeah. Well, don't that
make you a hypocrite?
321
00:27:25,482 --> 00:27:29,231
In these circumstances, no.
322
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,902
Oh, look, Simon, it's not that
I don't want to help you.
323
00:27:32,990 --> 00:27:35,563
It's just, Erm...
324
00:27:35,659 --> 00:27:40,404
It's me mum. She's got crippling
arthritis. She can hardly move.
325
00:27:40,497 --> 00:27:44,993
You know, I've got the shop,
I've got her and, you know,
326
00:27:45,085 --> 00:27:48,620
a couple of chairs have been
kicked over in the attic.
327
00:27:48,713 --> 00:27:51,251
She don't know why there's fish everywhere.
328
00:27:51,341 --> 00:27:53,796
Otherwise I'd be in that car with you now.
329
00:27:53,885 --> 00:27:57,254
Hey, Rambo! Them hake
in there want guttin'.
330
00:27:57,347 --> 00:28:01,047
I could've fried 'em, ate
'em, and shat 'em out by now.
331
00:28:01,142 --> 00:28:02,305
Give it your mum.
332
00:28:05,313 --> 00:28:07,685
You big girl.
333
00:28:15,990 --> 00:28:18,742
I was such an idiot. But
now I'm not an idiot.
334
00:28:18,826 --> 00:28:21,282
I'm a computer salesman, thanks to you.
335
00:28:21,370 --> 00:28:23,778
The beauty is they sell themselves.
336
00:28:23,873 --> 00:28:27,705
All I do is provide a service
support network for a small fee,
337
00:28:27,793 --> 00:28:30,284
which keeps the customers happy, and me.
338
00:28:30,379 --> 00:28:33,000
I'm very happy. I'm very happy.
339
00:28:37,302 --> 00:28:42,510
Oh, that was a shite job. I hated it. Ah!
340
00:28:42,599 --> 00:28:47,142
We're all in. Manchester, here we come.
341
00:28:47,229 --> 00:28:49,802
Not quite. There's one more.
342
00:28:51,566 --> 00:28:53,440
Victor?
343
00:28:55,153 --> 00:28:57,146
- Who's Victor?
- There was a story
344
00:28:57,238 --> 00:29:00,323
that Victor once stole the Crown Jewels
345
00:29:00,408 --> 00:29:03,742
and then put them back
without anyone noticing.
346
00:29:03,828 --> 00:29:07,529
- How do you know if no one saw it?
- I read it in News of the World.
347
00:29:07,624 --> 00:29:09,201
Yep, that's were I read it.
348
00:29:09,292 --> 00:29:11,331
He's a master of disguise.
349
00:29:11,419 --> 00:29:15,002
Yep. Sometimes even I don't recognise him.
350
00:29:23,180 --> 00:29:26,596
- Victor?
- I'm Victor's wife.
351
00:29:26,684 --> 00:29:30,598
After he worked with you,
he tried to give up his life of crime
352
00:29:30,688 --> 00:29:34,388
by channelling his interests
into amateur dramatics.
353
00:29:34,483 --> 00:29:37,567
But one night he sneaked off to do the safe
354
00:29:37,653 --> 00:29:40,274
at Jackson's food processing plant.
355
00:29:40,364 --> 00:29:43,033
Two days later, a machine was playing up.
356
00:29:43,117 --> 00:29:46,616
They reckon he must have
fallen into the mincer.
357
00:29:46,703 --> 00:29:50,452
By that stage, the orders
had already gone out.
358
00:29:50,540 --> 00:29:52,367
They tried to recall them,
359
00:29:52,459 --> 00:29:57,797
but all they got back was half a
dozen pies and a couple of pasties.
360
00:29:57,881 --> 00:30:00,039
And is that what's...
361
00:30:00,133 --> 00:30:02,458
Yes.
362
00:30:03,803 --> 00:30:05,463
What a waste.
363
00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:13,512
- Er, of human life.
- Hm.
364
00:30:13,605 --> 00:30:15,681
He was very fond of you...
365
00:30:15,773 --> 00:30:19,391
he had some tools I'm sure
he would've wanted you to have.
366
00:30:24,574 --> 00:30:28,239
Thanks. I don't think
we've got a lawnmower.
367
00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:29,952
Sorry.
368
00:30:43,634 --> 00:30:46,089
I'm afraid he was a bit of a hoarder.
369
00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:48,336
- Wow, a DTI.
- A what?
370
00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:50,802
Digital transmission imager.
371
00:30:50,891 --> 00:30:54,841
- Oh, check this out.
- Don't shoot.
372
00:30:54,936 --> 00:30:57,558
It's a fisheye lens.
373
00:30:57,647 --> 00:31:01,016
Victor obviously had a sense of humour.
374
00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:03,600
There's masses of it.
375
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,438
- What's this?
- A flask.
376
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:08,946
- For?
- Tea, coffee, hot Bovril.
377
00:31:11,453 --> 00:31:12,995
We'll take it.
378
00:31:22,130 --> 00:31:24,371
Welcome to my humble abode.
379
00:31:24,465 --> 00:31:28,130
There's just one rule.
Do you mind popping your shoes off?
380
00:31:28,219 --> 00:31:31,089
It's a new carpet and... you know.
381
00:31:31,180 --> 00:31:33,718
Apart from that, make yourselves at home.
382
00:31:33,808 --> 00:31:35,468
Sleeping arrangements.
383
00:31:35,559 --> 00:31:38,513
- I have a spare bedroom...
- Thank you very much.
384
00:31:38,604 --> 00:31:41,012
- Sofa bed...
- Mine.
385
00:31:41,106 --> 00:31:44,357
- Inflatable mattress...
- Bags that!
386
00:31:45,736 --> 00:31:48,986
- Good. Food. Who's hungry?
- Yeah.
387
00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:54,031
We got hummus, taramasalata, uh, couscous,
388
00:31:54,119 --> 00:31:57,986
tabouleh, stuffed olives, cheese.
389
00:31:58,081 --> 00:32:01,082
- Where's the cheese?
- In the fridge.
390
00:32:01,168 --> 00:32:03,955
- Have you got any bread?
- Uh, focaccia.
391
00:32:04,045 --> 00:32:06,121
Is that sliced?
392
00:32:06,214 --> 00:32:09,998
Well, it's, uh, prêt á manger.
393
00:32:10,093 --> 00:32:13,129
- No, it's not sliced.
- Right.
394
00:32:16,182 --> 00:32:19,219
OK, the bank. Top view.
395
00:32:20,562 --> 00:32:24,061
Side road here. Front door.
Uh, three windows.
396
00:32:24,148 --> 00:32:28,098
Stairs to the left and a door at the back,
397
00:32:28,194 --> 00:32:30,400
which I think leads to the vault.
398
00:32:30,488 --> 00:32:33,572
So, pretty basic. But...
399
00:32:33,658 --> 00:32:37,157
What's stopping us getting into
the vault to get the tape?
400
00:32:37,244 --> 00:32:39,202
That's not important.
401
00:32:39,288 --> 00:32:43,037
The doors are bomb-proof,
the windows are toughened glass,
402
00:32:43,125 --> 00:32:47,372
- there's no adjoining building.
- CCTV outside and inside.
403
00:32:47,463 --> 00:32:51,591
Dual-circuit alarm on the doors.
Heat and motion in every room.
404
00:32:51,675 --> 00:32:56,052
Electronically linked,
via a control centre, to the police.
405
00:32:56,138 --> 00:33:01,298
And there's the vault - surrounded by
concrete three feet thick.
406
00:33:01,393 --> 00:33:02,935
A big two-tonne door.
407
00:33:03,020 --> 00:33:06,768
A combination lock changed
weekly and a preset time lock.
408
00:33:06,857 --> 00:33:09,145
Which can only be changed from the inside.
409
00:33:12,529 --> 00:33:14,818
Some fresh coffee?
410
00:33:14,906 --> 00:33:20,245
You isolate the power supply
to the system and cut it off!
411
00:33:20,328 --> 00:33:23,779
It's not an integrated circuit.
You got back-up systems.
412
00:33:23,873 --> 00:33:27,076
If you go near the power,
you'll trigger the alarm.
413
00:33:27,168 --> 00:33:31,118
Discreet transistor crap -
that's last year's old news!
414
00:33:31,214 --> 00:33:34,131
- Blow it up, get the money and go.
- Shut up!
415
00:33:34,217 --> 00:33:36,921
- You mean the tape, not the money.
- Oh, yeah.
416
00:33:37,011 --> 00:33:40,380
Blondie, if you want to
pick holes, be my guest.
417
00:33:40,473 --> 00:33:44,422
- But I don't hear a better idea.
- It's last year's old news!
418
00:33:44,518 --> 00:33:47,140
If you don't have anything to say, shut up!
419
00:33:47,229 --> 00:33:50,598
Tell him to stop saying "It
is last year's old news"!
420
00:33:50,691 --> 00:33:53,562
- It is annoying.
- He acts like a council official.
421
00:33:53,652 --> 00:33:56,322
I am a council official!
422
00:33:56,405 --> 00:33:59,240
Colin, what is today's news?
423
00:33:59,324 --> 00:34:02,242
- A TSMISP.
- Tsimps?
424
00:34:02,327 --> 00:34:06,372
A target-specific multi-invasive
subversion program.
425
00:34:06,456 --> 00:34:09,908
He means a computer virus.
He's taking the piss!
426
00:34:10,002 --> 00:34:13,086
- You want me to hit him?
- Just try it, fishface.
427
00:34:15,340 --> 00:34:18,626
Ow! That really hurt!
428
00:34:22,097 --> 00:34:27,091
Now, listen, I'm very grateful you've
all agreed to help me rob a bank.
429
00:34:27,185 --> 00:34:31,396
But this is not a competition.
We have to act as a team.
430
00:34:31,481 --> 00:34:37,104
Now, we're all very different people,
and that's a good thing.
431
00:34:37,195 --> 00:34:39,271
Jeff here likes Oasis.
432
00:34:39,363 --> 00:34:40,941
Colin likes...
433
00:34:41,032 --> 00:34:44,732
- What do you like?
- Hardcore Belgian trance.
434
00:34:46,245 --> 00:34:49,246
Great! George likes The Beach Boys.
435
00:34:49,331 --> 00:34:54,159
He likes them. I'm a bit
of a Deep Purple nut.
436
00:34:54,253 --> 00:34:55,961
Uh, Smoke on the Water?
437
00:34:56,046 --> 00:34:59,380
Actually the result of a
jamming session in Montreux.
438
00:34:59,466 --> 00:35:03,131
Casino was on fire, they saw the smoke...
439
00:35:03,220 --> 00:35:05,094
Anyway, the point is...
440
00:35:05,180 --> 00:35:07,220
- We should get on with it.
- Exactly.
441
00:35:07,307 --> 00:35:13,392
Now, Colin, what is a TSMISP?
442
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:18,640
And would telling us about
it be a waste of our time?
443
00:35:21,905 --> 00:35:24,989
It locates all the alarm
systems at the control centre.
444
00:35:25,075 --> 00:35:30,235
- Would that target our bank alarm?
- It can't. It attacks all of them.
445
00:35:30,330 --> 00:35:33,366
That won't shut the systems down.
446
00:35:33,458 --> 00:35:37,502
You're more likely to set off
every bank alarm in the city.
447
00:35:37,587 --> 00:35:41,169
Colin, have an extra slice of toast.
448
00:35:42,967 --> 00:35:45,838
I think we deserve the morning off.
449
00:35:55,563 --> 00:35:57,851
Emma?
450
00:35:57,940 --> 00:36:00,063
- Hi, Simon.
- Oh, hi.
451
00:36:00,150 --> 00:36:02,143
I was told to come up here by, uh...
452
00:36:02,236 --> 00:36:04,275
- My flatmate.
- Right.
453
00:36:04,363 --> 00:36:06,652
- Just have a seat.
- Yeah, sure.
454
00:36:06,740 --> 00:36:09,065
- I'm in the shower.
- OK.
455
00:36:11,662 --> 00:36:15,576
- What are you doing this afternoon?
- Nothing.
456
00:36:15,666 --> 00:36:19,794
Now, no pressure, but, uh, my Uncle Bernard
457
00:36:19,878 --> 00:36:23,710
is part owner of a...
458
00:36:23,799 --> 00:36:27,927
really cool narrow boat
on the Rochdale Canal.
459
00:36:30,472 --> 00:36:33,722
And, uh, as luck would have it,
460
00:36:33,808 --> 00:36:36,762
today's one of his days,
461
00:36:36,853 --> 00:36:39,142
but, uh, he's unwell.
462
00:36:39,230 --> 00:36:42,979
Uh, he's got a problem with his...
463
00:36:43,067 --> 00:36:45,356
body.
464
00:36:45,445 --> 00:36:47,521
But, uh, it's really nice inside.
465
00:36:47,613 --> 00:36:51,693
It's, uh, warm and comfortable...
466
00:36:53,369 --> 00:36:55,408
and lovely.
467
00:36:57,123 --> 00:37:01,120
Anyway, you've... you've
got a lovely little, uh...
468
00:37:02,253 --> 00:37:04,459
cat.
469
00:37:06,131 --> 00:37:09,381
- So, what do you think?
- About what?
470
00:37:09,468 --> 00:37:14,011
You know, uh, you, me...
471
00:37:15,140 --> 00:37:16,848
narrow boat,
472
00:37:16,934 --> 00:37:18,807
canal.
473
00:37:18,894 --> 00:37:21,301
Unless you've got a better idea.
474
00:37:24,191 --> 00:37:28,402
That is just showing off.
It's a fertility symbol.
475
00:37:28,487 --> 00:37:31,986
If you touch it, it increases
your sexual potency.
476
00:37:32,073 --> 00:37:33,781
- Right.
- Go on.
477
00:37:33,867 --> 00:37:35,776
- What?
- Touch it.
478
00:37:35,869 --> 00:37:37,493
No.
479
00:37:37,579 --> 00:37:40,449
Are you afraid to touch a penis?
480
00:37:40,540 --> 00:37:43,494
You're talking to a guy who's going blind.
481
00:37:48,214 --> 00:37:50,372
Go on. Touch it.
482
00:37:51,926 --> 00:37:53,966
I'm just going to the, uh...
483
00:37:56,305 --> 00:37:58,512
Don't forget to wash your hands.
484
00:38:29,046 --> 00:38:31,334
Good afternoon.
485
00:38:33,717 --> 00:38:36,386
- It's not what you think.
- Oh!
486
00:38:36,469 --> 00:38:39,174
It's wood.
487
00:38:39,264 --> 00:38:41,055
Hmm!
488
00:38:44,269 --> 00:38:49,180
Please. Please. Could you please do
something about that man over there?
489
00:38:50,858 --> 00:38:53,184
Emma! Emma, help!
490
00:39:08,042 --> 00:39:11,126
Come out, please, sir. I
know you're in there.
491
00:39:11,212 --> 00:39:13,370
I will be out in a minute.
492
00:39:13,464 --> 00:39:17,793
Man in ladies' toilet. Assistance
required. Suspected flasher.
493
00:39:17,885 --> 00:39:21,135
'Roger, Maggie.' I am not a flasher.
494
00:39:21,221 --> 00:39:25,764
Could you come out, please, sir?
You shouldn't be in the ladies'.
495
00:39:25,851 --> 00:39:28,389
I've got an upset stomach.
496
00:39:50,208 --> 00:39:51,916
Right, where's the perv?
497
00:39:52,877 --> 00:39:57,089
- Get out now! Dirty bastard.
- Hang on. I'm nearly done.
498
00:39:58,091 --> 00:39:59,799
No, that's it.
499
00:40:01,928 --> 00:40:05,297
Sorry. Bit of an emergency.
Now, what's the problem?
500
00:40:05,389 --> 00:40:09,008
You've been reported for
indecent behaviour.
501
00:40:09,101 --> 00:40:12,802
- He had a lump in his trousers.
- Yes, I had several.
502
00:40:13,939 --> 00:40:15,434
I shat myself.
503
00:40:15,524 --> 00:40:18,609
Now, where's the nearest
Marks and Spencer's?
504
00:40:18,694 --> 00:40:21,897
Straight down the high street,
the first on the left.
505
00:40:21,989 --> 00:40:24,028
Thank you very much.
506
00:40:29,371 --> 00:40:31,577
- It came off in my hand.
- Don't worry.
507
00:40:31,665 --> 00:40:33,704
It's happened to me a few times.
508
00:40:56,397 --> 00:40:59,398
Like Jean-Claude Van Damme. Where?
509
00:40:59,484 --> 00:41:02,401
Roller disco, Oldham. He had a big knife.
510
00:41:02,487 --> 00:41:05,571
You knocked him out with one punch.
511
00:41:05,656 --> 00:41:07,234
I've told you this before?
512
00:41:07,325 --> 00:41:12,699
All your stories end with you
knocking someone out with one punch.
513
00:41:12,788 --> 00:41:15,789
Got some knives and forks.
514
00:41:15,875 --> 00:41:19,493
Yeah. Let's use our fingers. What the heck.
515
00:41:19,587 --> 00:41:21,828
- I've been thinkin'.
- Go on.
516
00:41:21,922 --> 00:41:24,709
Try going through a
window, it's too visible.
517
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:28,216
But get on the roof, you're concealed.
It buys you time.
518
00:41:28,304 --> 00:41:30,177
How we gonna get in?
519
00:41:30,264 --> 00:41:32,968
I'm coming to that. There's a fire door.
520
00:41:33,058 --> 00:41:36,178
- Which only opens from the inside.
- Hang on!
521
00:41:36,270 --> 00:41:39,140
There's like an air vent
thing there, right?
522
00:41:39,231 --> 00:41:42,600
I can go through there, go
around, open the fire door,
523
00:41:42,693 --> 00:41:45,610
- let you all in.
- Brilliant.
524
00:41:45,695 --> 00:41:49,775
The aperture to the air conditioning
unit you are referring to
525
00:41:49,866 --> 00:41:51,195
is 14 inches square.
526
00:41:51,284 --> 00:41:54,653
- Brilliant but flawed.
- I could get in. Go on a diet.
527
00:41:54,746 --> 00:41:57,866
- You won't want that, then.
- Never touch my food.
528
00:41:57,957 --> 00:42:00,283
Whoa! Jeff, Colin, calm down.
529
00:42:00,376 --> 00:42:02,499
It was a good idea. It's just...
530
00:42:06,633 --> 00:42:09,669
I'd rather you didn't argue.
531
00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:14,090
Jeff's got a lot on his
plate at the moment.
532
00:42:14,182 --> 00:42:19,176
I know, but he really makes me angry,
er... cos he talks rubbish sometimes.
533
00:42:20,396 --> 00:42:23,148
But if I have upset him, I'm sorry.
534
00:42:23,232 --> 00:42:26,067
That's very big of you to say so, Colin.
535
00:42:26,152 --> 00:42:28,310
George, anything to add to that?
536
00:42:28,404 --> 00:42:33,030
Huh? What? Erm... Erm...
537
00:42:34,201 --> 00:42:35,909
No.
538
00:42:37,329 --> 00:42:39,737
Jeff, you're very quiet...
539
00:42:42,626 --> 00:42:45,378
Kirsty! What the hell are you doing here?
540
00:42:45,462 --> 00:42:46,790
I thought I'd rob you.
541
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:51,376
- What you're doing is illegal.
- So is robbing a bank.
542
00:42:51,468 --> 00:42:54,385
How do you know we're robbing a bank?
543
00:42:54,471 --> 00:42:56,843
It's written on your notice board.
544
00:42:56,932 --> 00:43:00,182
Right, Kirsty.
545
00:43:00,268 --> 00:43:04,811
If you forget about this, I'll forget
about you robbing my house.
546
00:43:04,898 --> 00:43:07,852
That's not equal. You're robbing a bank.
547
00:43:07,942 --> 00:43:12,106
- W-What do you want?
- To join your gang and rob a bank.
548
00:43:12,196 --> 00:43:15,565
- We're not stealin' money. Right?
- Yes.
549
00:43:15,658 --> 00:43:17,816
- Please?
- You're too young.
550
00:43:17,910 --> 00:43:21,362
I could drive the getaway car.
I've stolen 44 cars.
551
00:43:21,455 --> 00:43:26,117
And been caught 44 times.
We don't need you, Kirsty. I'm sorry.
552
00:43:34,134 --> 00:43:36,008
Right. Where were we?
553
00:43:36,095 --> 00:43:39,962
Jeff had the wizard idea of
gaining entry through an air duct
554
00:43:40,057 --> 00:43:43,757
and I pointed out that none
of us could fit through it.
555
00:43:43,852 --> 00:43:45,761
I could.
556
00:44:20,096 --> 00:44:22,053
Ladybird to Praying Mantra.
557
00:44:23,307 --> 00:44:25,514
Ladybird, receiving you.
558
00:44:25,601 --> 00:44:28,270
I'm a mile away and I can still hear you.
559
00:44:28,354 --> 00:44:31,308
OK, now try five miles away. Over.
560
00:44:46,497 --> 00:44:50,079
Even if we can break in, what
do we do about the getaway?
561
00:44:50,167 --> 00:44:52,409
I've got an idea about that.
562
00:44:55,797 --> 00:45:00,210
Now, on Friday, stay away from
the target area until rush hour.
563
00:45:00,302 --> 00:45:03,836
- Any questions?
- Why is the protest on a weekday?
564
00:45:03,930 --> 00:45:07,299
- For maximum disruption.
- Bollocks!
565
00:45:07,392 --> 00:45:12,054
If we had it on a Sunday at 12 noon,
outside the West Clyde Bank,
566
00:45:12,147 --> 00:45:14,139
there'd be a bigger turnout.
567
00:45:14,232 --> 00:45:16,604
- Yeah, some of us have to work.
- Yeah!
568
00:45:16,693 --> 00:45:20,275
- The city's empty on a Sunday!
- We'll reclaim the streets.
569
00:45:20,363 --> 00:45:24,407
- For the kids!
- Friday, 5:00. It's been decided.
570
00:45:24,492 --> 00:45:26,531
- Who decided?
- The committee.
571
00:45:26,619 --> 00:45:30,118
- Bollocks!
- Some democratic organisation!
572
00:45:30,206 --> 00:45:32,163
- Yeah! Yeah!
- It is.
573
00:45:32,249 --> 00:45:37,125
The elected committee votes and
we abide by the committee's decision.
574
00:45:37,213 --> 00:45:40,048
- Bollocks!
- Gonna let him push us around?
575
00:45:40,132 --> 00:45:44,046
- Tell him we're not sheep.
- We're not sheep!
576
00:45:44,136 --> 00:45:46,805
- Tell him to put it to a vote.
- Put it to a vote!
577
00:45:46,889 --> 00:45:49,131
A good idea!
578
00:45:49,224 --> 00:45:52,095
All right. All those who want the protest
579
00:45:52,186 --> 00:45:55,601
- on Sunday at noon...
- Outside the West Clyde Bank.
580
00:45:55,689 --> 00:45:59,354
Outside the West Clyde
Bank, raise their hands.
581
00:46:02,779 --> 00:46:04,736
Yes!
582
00:46:14,290 --> 00:46:15,701
Hurry up!
583
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:18,999
Oh, God.
584
00:46:28,679 --> 00:46:30,921
It's not a bloody marathon!
585
00:46:37,563 --> 00:46:41,727
If they realise they've loaded
a virus, won't they tell everyone?
586
00:46:41,817 --> 00:46:45,233
Would you tell anyone if
you'd been looking at this?
587
00:46:45,321 --> 00:46:49,188
Yeah, but it's boring, isn't it?
Just variations on a...
588
00:46:51,827 --> 00:46:54,199
I've not seen that before.
589
00:47:17,102 --> 00:47:20,221
Any, uh, movement on the
murder investigation?
590
00:47:20,313 --> 00:47:24,441
You mean the headless accountant?
No, bit of a dead end, that.
591
00:47:24,526 --> 00:47:28,025
- That probation officer?
- He's well out of the picture.
592
00:47:28,112 --> 00:47:31,279
- Let's not talk shop, eh?
- I'd better be off.
593
00:47:31,366 --> 00:47:33,524
- One for the road.
- No, thanks.
594
00:47:33,618 --> 00:47:35,445
It's an order. Vodka chaser.
595
00:47:38,831 --> 00:47:42,580
So, how's your love life at the moment?
596
00:47:42,668 --> 00:47:46,582
- No time for anything, really.
- Tsk! Know what you mean.
597
00:47:51,886 --> 00:47:53,510
Oh!
598
00:47:54,638 --> 00:47:57,509
- Trying to get me drunk, lnspector?
- Yep.
599
00:47:57,599 --> 00:48:00,137
I don't believe in in-house romance.
600
00:48:00,227 --> 00:48:02,599
Who said anything about romance?
601
00:48:04,398 --> 00:48:06,723
Stick to what you're best at.
602
00:48:18,662 --> 00:48:19,657
What is it?
603
00:48:19,746 --> 00:48:22,284
- It's a GOTLER.
- A what?
604
00:48:22,374 --> 00:48:26,834
A George-operated
time-lock-equalising robot.
605
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:30,170
- This is telescopic?
- Similar. It's hydraulic.
606
00:48:30,256 --> 00:48:32,332
And once inside the vault,
607
00:48:32,425 --> 00:48:36,292
this emits an electromagnetic
pulse at the LED displays,
608
00:48:36,387 --> 00:48:41,298
causing the clocks to synchronise
at zero, deactivating the time lock.
609
00:48:41,392 --> 00:48:44,726
- How'd you know that?
- I heard you phone your mother.
610
00:48:44,812 --> 00:48:48,228
Yeah, yeah. She likes
to know what I'm up to.
611
00:48:49,358 --> 00:48:53,605
Now, with the time lock, it's
a simple matter for the GOTLER...
612
00:48:53,696 --> 00:48:56,946
Oh! I told you. It's top-heavy.
613
00:48:57,032 --> 00:49:00,567
- It's only a small modification.
- It needs a redesign.
614
00:49:00,661 --> 00:49:04,077
- If that goes, we all go to jail.
- It won't.
615
00:49:04,164 --> 00:49:07,948
How we gonna get the bank
to let us put that in the vault?
616
00:49:20,764 --> 00:49:23,883
And, uh, what did you say was inside it?
617
00:49:23,975 --> 00:49:29,266
£10,000 in coins, notes and cheques.
Hopefully.
618
00:49:29,355 --> 00:49:33,270
- This buys beds for the children?
- And a couple of wheelchairs.
619
00:49:33,359 --> 00:49:35,648
- They're disabled?
- Challenged.
620
00:49:35,737 --> 00:49:37,445
- Of course.
- And blind.
621
00:49:37,530 --> 00:49:40,199
- Are they?
- Uh, some of them.
622
00:49:40,283 --> 00:49:41,481
Right, uh...
623
00:49:41,576 --> 00:49:45,787
Well, unfortunately, we can't allow
items like this into the vault.
624
00:49:45,872 --> 00:49:50,533
We might make an exception for
a valuable painting or a sculpture.
625
00:49:50,626 --> 00:49:53,413
- Excuse me. Can I shake your hand?
- Yes.
626
00:49:53,504 --> 00:49:55,710
- It's Dr Moroe.
- Monroe.
627
00:49:55,798 --> 00:49:58,289
Oh, yes, of course. Can I say thank you?
628
00:49:58,384 --> 00:50:02,927
Thank you. Thank you for all you've
done for the children at St Simon's.
629
00:50:03,013 --> 00:50:06,881
To see the smiles when
they wore shoes for the first time!
630
00:50:06,975 --> 00:50:11,139
Heartbreaking. Do you know what they
call him at the children's home?
631
00:50:11,230 --> 00:50:13,934
- No.
- Dad!
632
00:50:16,652 --> 00:50:19,273
God bless. I'm sorry.
633
00:50:20,655 --> 00:50:23,325
Uh, d-do you have children of your own?
634
00:50:23,408 --> 00:50:25,566
Uh, yes, yes, I have.
635
00:50:25,660 --> 00:50:28,198
They're, uh... They're
precious, aren't they?
636
00:50:28,288 --> 00:50:30,695
Yes.
637
00:50:33,209 --> 00:50:37,587
Right. You wait here while I
go and open the big door.
638
00:50:41,301 --> 00:50:43,708
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
639
00:50:45,805 --> 00:50:51,226
God, it's a massive door.
You must be very strong.
640
00:50:51,310 --> 00:50:56,517
Um, I'm afraid I am going to have to
ask you to stand over there.
641
00:50:56,607 --> 00:50:58,932
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
642
00:51:12,164 --> 00:51:17,787
One, seven, eight, nine...
643
00:51:20,213 --> 00:51:23,333
- What's wrong?
- Rewind it. Let's see it again.
644
00:51:24,801 --> 00:51:26,758
Oh, crumbs!
645
00:51:28,763 --> 00:51:30,803
- Whose idea was this?
- Simon's.
646
00:51:30,891 --> 00:51:34,639
- He moved his bum in the way!
- People do move their bums.
647
00:51:34,728 --> 00:51:37,301
- Why didn't she move the pig?
- Piss off!
648
00:51:37,397 --> 00:51:40,766
- Language.
- It's not Kirsty's fault.
649
00:51:40,859 --> 00:51:43,314
Why are we helping a man in corduroys?
650
00:51:43,403 --> 00:51:46,902
- He helped you.
- That was his job. He was paid.
651
00:51:46,990 --> 00:51:50,904
We need a solution, not a
whinging, surfing lemonhead.
652
00:51:50,993 --> 00:51:52,536
- Lemon knobhead.
- Yeah!
653
00:51:52,620 --> 00:51:57,163
No. We don't need a curly-headed
wanker trying to be Captain Kirk.
654
00:51:57,250 --> 00:52:00,085
At least he got things done.
655
00:52:00,169 --> 00:52:03,086
Imagine you looking for
Spock in Star Trek IV.
656
00:52:03,172 --> 00:52:05,295
"I'm sorry. We couldn't find him."
657
00:52:06,759 --> 00:52:08,716
What?
658
00:52:08,802 --> 00:52:12,752
That was Star Trek III.
It was called The Search For Spock.
659
00:52:12,848 --> 00:52:17,474
One, seven, eight, nine... three, five, 20!
660
00:52:17,561 --> 00:52:20,313
It's written on the back
of his bloody hand!
661
00:52:30,907 --> 00:52:32,651
- Hi.
- Hi.
662
00:52:34,035 --> 00:52:36,028
Um...
663
00:52:36,121 --> 00:52:39,371
Um... Uh, come in.
664
00:52:43,461 --> 00:52:45,454
Uh, everyone, this is Emma.
665
00:52:45,547 --> 00:52:48,750
She's a friend of mine
and a police constable.
666
00:52:48,841 --> 00:52:50,300
Oh.
667
00:52:50,385 --> 00:52:55,889
- Off-duty.
- This is my cousin, Colin.
668
00:52:55,973 --> 00:52:57,598
- Hi.
- Hi.
669
00:52:57,683 --> 00:52:59,806
- That's Cousin Jeff.
- Hi.
670
00:52:59,894 --> 00:53:03,844
- Hi.
- This is my... Uncle George.
671
00:53:04,982 --> 00:53:07,687
- H-Hi.
- Hi.
672
00:53:07,777 --> 00:53:10,350
- And this is...
- I know you, you're, um...
673
00:53:10,446 --> 00:53:12,984
His daughter.
674
00:53:13,073 --> 00:53:15,196
- Hi.
- Hi.
675
00:53:15,284 --> 00:53:18,487
Uh, can I, um... Excuse me.
676
00:53:23,375 --> 00:53:26,210
- They're not your family, are they?
- No.
677
00:53:26,295 --> 00:53:29,628
- She's the joyrider.
- Yes.
678
00:53:29,715 --> 00:53:33,463
- They're ex-clients.
- Why are they in your living room?
679
00:53:33,552 --> 00:53:37,134
Well, they are... part of a
voluntary self-help group.
680
00:53:37,222 --> 00:53:40,258
We meet regularly and what
I encourage them to do
681
00:53:40,350 --> 00:53:44,478
is not concentrate on their own
problems but look at other people's.
682
00:53:44,562 --> 00:53:46,935
That's beneficial for two reasons.
683
00:53:47,023 --> 00:53:50,474
One, they're less isolated,
more able to focus,
684
00:53:50,568 --> 00:53:53,522
and two, I really like your knees.
685
00:53:53,655 --> 00:53:57,070
And your eyes.
686
00:53:57,158 --> 00:54:01,784
I mean, I like everything. Um...
But I-I really like your knees.
687
00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:05,074
- Is that what you saw in the mirror?
- Your knees? No.
688
00:54:05,166 --> 00:54:09,460
I mean, yes, just your knees.
I probably didn't even see those.
689
00:54:16,218 --> 00:54:19,504
- No, no. No, we can't. Not here.
- Yeah, right.
690
00:54:29,148 --> 00:54:32,563
Ah!
691
00:54:48,041 --> 00:54:50,579
What are you planning?
692
00:54:50,668 --> 00:54:55,211
Um, would you like me to tell you or
would you like me to be spontaneous?
693
00:54:55,298 --> 00:54:58,252
Simon, what are you up to?
694
00:54:59,427 --> 00:55:01,420
I can explain.
695
00:55:01,512 --> 00:55:04,513
DI Burton murdered Trevor Deacon.
696
00:55:04,599 --> 00:55:07,553
- What are you talking about?
- I saw him do it.
697
00:55:07,643 --> 00:55:11,937
- I was eating crisps behind boxes...
- Why didn't you tell me before?
698
00:55:12,023 --> 00:55:14,596
Burton would have framed me.
I'd be in prison.
699
00:55:14,692 --> 00:55:16,981
I'd be buggered. Daily.
700
00:55:17,069 --> 00:55:20,983
- And what's all this for?
- I can't tell you.
701
00:55:22,324 --> 00:55:25,278
You're a police officer.
702
00:55:25,369 --> 00:55:27,527
I thought I was your friend.
703
00:55:31,917 --> 00:55:35,535
You know Trevor Deacon's effects?
Who checked them?
704
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:39,751
DI Burton did it personally. Why?
705
00:55:40,884 --> 00:55:42,212
It's OK.
706
00:55:52,020 --> 00:55:54,689
- Sir, can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
707
00:55:54,773 --> 00:55:56,979
The murder victim, Trevor Deacon.
708
00:55:57,067 --> 00:55:59,902
- Did you know him?
- No.
709
00:55:59,986 --> 00:56:03,687
Then why is your number
in his mobile phone?
710
00:56:03,781 --> 00:56:05,988
Do you think I murdered him?
711
00:56:06,075 --> 00:56:09,242
- I didn't say that.
- Then who did?
712
00:56:09,328 --> 00:56:11,120
To tomorrow.
713
00:56:11,205 --> 00:56:13,827
To the most audacious crime of the century.
714
00:56:13,916 --> 00:56:16,123
He means your haircut.
715
00:56:16,210 --> 00:56:18,748
To, uh... To having friends.
716
00:56:18,838 --> 00:56:22,503
Yes... Thank you.
717
00:56:22,591 --> 00:56:25,261
To friends.
718
00:56:32,726 --> 00:56:34,849
Search warrant.
719
00:56:48,158 --> 00:56:50,945
Got a locked cupboard here, sir.
720
00:56:51,036 --> 00:56:53,705
Looks like some kind of
hatch in the ceiling.
721
00:56:53,788 --> 00:56:56,196
Of course, prison food is processed,
722
00:56:56,291 --> 00:56:59,327
but you get used to it
after about 10 years...
723
00:56:59,419 --> 00:57:02,336
the going rate for murdering an accountant.
724
00:57:02,422 --> 00:57:05,173
Except I didn't murder him. You did.
725
00:57:05,258 --> 00:57:08,342
Yeah, but I've got an alibi. You haven't.
726
00:57:08,428 --> 00:57:12,971
If you're gonna frame me for murder,
you should have more evidence.
727
00:57:13,057 --> 00:57:16,141
Boss, I think you'll want to see this.
728
00:57:16,227 --> 00:57:19,097
Nice material with a
young girl in the house.
729
00:57:19,188 --> 00:57:22,853
WPC Walsh, kindly escort
the minor from the room.
730
00:57:22,942 --> 00:57:26,441
You do know she's under 16, don't you?
731
00:57:26,529 --> 00:57:31,155
Of course you do. She was in your
care. They're lovely at that age.
732
00:57:31,242 --> 00:57:33,697
- You're horrible.
- He's right.
733
00:57:33,786 --> 00:57:37,237
I'm so horrible they're giving me
a bravery award tomorrow.
734
00:57:37,331 --> 00:57:39,620
Funny old world, isn't it?
735
00:57:59,853 --> 00:58:02,178
Bad dog!
736
00:58:06,568 --> 00:58:08,726
Drop it!
737
00:58:10,155 --> 00:58:12,194
Drop it!
738
00:58:15,243 --> 00:58:17,650
Let go of it!
739
00:58:17,745 --> 00:58:21,244
Let go, you horrid dog. Let go!
740
00:58:29,382 --> 00:58:32,299
Better have a look in the garden.
741
00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:46,184
You know, I don't think
we checked the kitchen.
742
00:58:46,273 --> 00:58:50,105
Mr Garden, would you mind
opening your fridge?
743
00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:15,541
What's in the pot?
744
00:59:33,402 --> 00:59:35,359
Boiled head.
745
00:59:43,537 --> 00:59:47,369
- Your solicitor's been delayed.
- All right. I'll wait.
746
00:59:47,458 --> 00:59:50,542
Can I explain? Do you really
think I was boiling a head?
747
00:59:50,627 --> 00:59:53,545
- You've been lying to me.
- Give me ten seconds.
748
00:59:53,630 --> 00:59:57,842
I can prove Burton killed Deacon.
It was recorded by security camera.
749
00:59:57,926 --> 01:00:00,049
The tape is in a bank vault.
750
01:00:00,137 --> 01:00:03,921
I've got to get out to the bank
to get the tape to clear my name.
751
01:00:04,015 --> 01:00:06,222
That was 12 seconds.
752
01:00:17,487 --> 01:00:21,615
- Can I get a magazine?
- Come on. Be quick.
753
01:00:26,871 --> 01:00:30,074
♫ We're going shopping... ♫
754
01:00:37,715 --> 01:00:39,873
It's that woman there!
755
01:00:42,261 --> 01:00:45,132
- Can I see your handbag, madam?
- What's this?
756
01:00:45,222 --> 01:00:49,635
I didn't buy anything. I just
paid for me petrol, that's all.
757
01:00:55,691 --> 01:00:59,558
Burton'll get his award in three hours.
758
01:00:59,653 --> 01:01:02,820
- Pardon?
- Just saying...
759
01:01:02,906 --> 01:01:06,073
Burton'll get his award at Town Hall.
760
01:01:06,159 --> 01:01:07,903
Why are you telling me that?
761
01:01:07,994 --> 01:01:11,494
You think the guard'll give us
champagne so we can toast him?
762
01:01:11,581 --> 01:01:14,701
Good idea. I could smash
him over the head with it.
763
01:01:14,793 --> 01:01:18,625
- He's being sarcastic.
- Just saying...
764
01:01:18,713 --> 01:01:21,335
Would've been great seeing Burton's face.
765
01:01:21,424 --> 01:01:24,710
It would've been great if Adolf Hitler
766
01:01:24,802 --> 01:01:29,180
had opened a vegetarian restaurant
instead of forming the Third Reich.
767
01:01:29,265 --> 01:01:32,301
- But it didn't happen.
- Don't like vegetarians.
768
01:01:42,194 --> 01:01:44,152
"It's get Kirsty in"!
769
01:01:45,990 --> 01:01:49,738
- "It's Kirsty, get in!"
- Quick!
770
01:01:49,827 --> 01:01:52,116
- Hurry!
- Get in!
771
01:01:53,247 --> 01:01:56,248
Wow! She's got all the gear!
772
01:02:02,297 --> 01:02:04,753
I didn't know we owned a van.
773
01:02:04,841 --> 01:02:07,961
I nicked it. Didn't think
you'd mind this time.
774
01:02:08,053 --> 01:02:11,137
I know it's my fault you're in this mess.
775
01:02:11,223 --> 01:02:13,014
No, it's mine.
776
01:02:14,142 --> 01:02:15,886
It's partly yours.
777
01:02:17,395 --> 01:02:18,724
Run it.
778
01:02:22,025 --> 01:02:23,899
OK, let's do it!
779
01:02:38,166 --> 01:02:41,581
Quick photo, lnspector Burton?
780
01:03:00,688 --> 01:03:05,349
Ladybird to Praying Mantra.
Are you receiving me?
781
01:03:05,442 --> 01:03:07,565
It's Praying Mantis.
782
01:03:07,653 --> 01:03:11,022
- Praying Mantra?
- 'Praying Mantra receiving.'
783
01:03:11,114 --> 01:03:15,242
Coast is clear. Just two old dears
waitin' for a bus. Over.
784
01:03:32,677 --> 01:03:35,548
No. It'll back up and repeat on me.
785
01:03:35,638 --> 01:03:39,588
- Anyway, she had a lemon sponge.
- I love a lemon sponge.
786
01:03:48,442 --> 01:03:52,143
- Oh, God, I can't stand heights.
- OK, you can let go now.
787
01:03:56,534 --> 01:04:00,578
OK. Colin's computer program
will activate the alarm
788
01:04:00,663 --> 01:04:02,988
in T minus 15 seconds.
789
01:04:03,082 --> 01:04:04,908
Everyone ready?
790
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:07,242
Good, good. Ten seconds.
791
01:04:08,462 --> 01:04:12,329
I'll count down. Five...
792
01:04:12,424 --> 01:04:15,425
four, three,
793
01:04:15,510 --> 01:04:19,508
two, one.
794
01:04:30,608 --> 01:04:33,016
Um...
795
01:04:46,374 --> 01:04:48,082
Well done, Colin.
796
01:05:08,228 --> 01:05:12,475
- Think thin, Kirsty.
- That's easy for you to say.
797
01:05:16,945 --> 01:05:19,863
- Excuse me.
- See you on stage.
798
01:05:19,948 --> 01:05:21,442
What are those sirens?
799
01:05:21,533 --> 01:05:24,487
They're going off all over.
Computer problems.
800
01:05:24,578 --> 01:05:28,990
'..Four males escaped from
Gladstone Street Station.'
801
01:05:29,082 --> 01:05:32,416
- Call Mills, check what's going on.
- OK, boss.
802
01:05:36,006 --> 01:05:37,583
Come on.
803
01:06:14,793 --> 01:06:17,996
- Can I help?
- Yeah. Catch.
804
01:06:18,088 --> 01:06:21,338
- What do I do with this?
- Make George a cup of tea.
805
01:06:21,425 --> 01:06:23,631
- Oh.
- One sugar.
806
01:06:56,375 --> 01:06:59,910
Excuse me, Officer. You do
know the alarm's going off?
807
01:07:00,004 --> 01:07:02,162
All right, madam, it's sorted.
808
01:07:12,308 --> 01:07:15,262
How do you know which box the video's in?
809
01:07:15,352 --> 01:07:19,682
- 1962.
- The year The Beach Boys formed.
810
01:07:19,773 --> 01:07:23,356
- Who are The Beach Boys?
- You won't like them.
811
01:07:23,444 --> 01:07:26,065
You can hear the words.
812
01:07:26,154 --> 01:07:30,484
He said if she doesn't eat anything,
then come what may, she'll die.
813
01:07:30,575 --> 01:07:34,620
Well, it wasn't her usual
doctor and he did have a beard.
814
01:07:34,704 --> 01:07:39,413
Her doctor's in Spain, gallivanting.
All right for some, isn't it?
815
01:07:39,501 --> 01:07:42,418
What the fuck are you on about?
816
01:07:49,594 --> 01:07:53,544
Oh, look! A statue of the
Greek goddess Athena.
817
01:07:55,224 --> 01:07:58,309
Let's hope she's on our side.
818
01:08:19,665 --> 01:08:22,334
- Not fallen over, has it?
- Yes.
819
01:08:22,418 --> 01:08:25,952
- I did insist on a redesign.
- I have to say, he did.
820
01:08:26,046 --> 01:08:31,088
- Right. So, I mean, what? Are we...
- We're knackered. We're knackered!
821
01:08:31,176 --> 01:08:34,675
Unless, of course, Kirsty
presses this red button.
822
01:09:15,386 --> 01:09:17,628
These two were really worried.
823
01:09:17,722 --> 01:09:21,090
Praying Mantra to Ladybird.
Are you receiving me? Over.
824
01:09:21,183 --> 01:09:24,682
- 'Mustafa? Mustafa?'
- Come in, Ladybird.
825
01:09:24,770 --> 01:09:28,139
- He was very rude.
- And he used the F-word.
826
01:09:28,232 --> 01:09:32,360
'..Sally and Jennifer outside
chip shop on Broadcroft Road.'
827
01:09:34,112 --> 01:09:37,113
I don't know what it's coming to nowadays.
828
01:09:42,037 --> 01:09:47,327
God. He's seen the wire.
Ladybird! Grasshopper!
829
01:10:10,273 --> 01:10:12,396
Bingo. Time locks off.
830
01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:37,252
- 'Ladybird!'
- Come in.
831
01:10:37,341 --> 01:10:40,342
'The police are here. Five
minutes at the most!'
832
01:10:40,427 --> 01:10:41,838
- Five minutes?!
- Crikey.
833
01:10:41,929 --> 01:10:45,796
Stay focused. Right. Access code.
Anyone write it down?
834
01:10:47,893 --> 01:10:49,636
Just testing.
835
01:10:55,817 --> 01:10:58,901
It says "code invalid."
836
01:11:03,700 --> 01:11:08,278
- Could they have changed the code?
- Yeah, or a there's a backup system.
837
01:11:08,371 --> 01:11:11,740
Hands up anyone here who's
robbed a bank before?
838
01:11:12,959 --> 01:11:15,829
George, what were you in for?
839
01:11:15,920 --> 01:11:17,794
I'm a serial bigamist.
840
01:11:17,880 --> 01:11:20,371
George, just isolate the problem.
841
01:11:20,466 --> 01:11:23,882
- I just like weddings.
- Not that problem. This problem.
842
01:11:23,970 --> 01:11:27,469
I'll isolate it. We can't
get through this door,
843
01:11:27,556 --> 01:11:30,226
and coppers will come through that one!
844
01:11:30,309 --> 01:11:33,642
- So what are we gonna do?
- Nothing.
845
01:11:38,317 --> 01:11:40,559
Victor!
846
01:11:40,652 --> 01:11:44,946
So long as the alarm is
active, the door won't open.
847
01:11:45,032 --> 01:11:48,401
I thought you might need a bit of help.
848
01:11:50,495 --> 01:11:53,829
A couple more minutes and
I'll have it cracked.
849
01:11:57,002 --> 01:11:59,623
Sh-sh-shh.
850
01:12:01,673 --> 01:12:04,080
Now, try again.
851
01:12:04,175 --> 01:12:06,927
But that means they're in the building.
852
01:12:07,011 --> 01:12:11,804
I always find on these occasions
that it helps to be quick.
853
01:12:27,198 --> 01:12:29,867
- I thought you were dead.
- Just resting.
854
01:12:29,950 --> 01:12:32,987
- Saw your grave.
- Your wife said they buried...
855
01:12:33,078 --> 01:12:35,700
six pies and a couple of pasties.
856
01:12:35,789 --> 01:12:38,577
"What a waste."
857
01:12:48,302 --> 01:12:52,549
Well, that wasn't too difficult.
What are you doing?
858
01:12:52,639 --> 01:12:56,257
I'm opening a deposit box
belonging to a DI Burton.
859
01:12:56,351 --> 01:13:00,349
- We got what we came for.
- No harm having a look.
860
01:13:00,438 --> 01:13:02,727
Where's Victor?
861
01:13:04,067 --> 01:13:06,143
It seems to be all clear, Sarge.
862
01:13:06,236 --> 01:13:09,023
- We'd better check the vaults.
- I'll go.
863
01:13:09,114 --> 01:13:12,280
Reed, you go with her.
864
01:13:18,790 --> 01:13:21,363
- Oh, wow.
- Wow!
865
01:13:21,459 --> 01:13:24,164
- There's more in here.
- It's not our money.
866
01:13:24,253 --> 01:13:27,705
- It's not his either.
- This money is from drugs.
867
01:13:27,798 --> 01:13:32,591
The government will spend it on
weapons of mass destruction.
868
01:13:32,678 --> 01:13:36,462
Right now, you are halfway up a mountain.
869
01:13:36,557 --> 01:13:39,344
Crime is the easy path to the bottom.
870
01:13:39,435 --> 01:13:42,140
- We're robbin' a bank!
- Technically, yes...
871
01:13:42,229 --> 01:13:45,812
Let's just take it and
if we change our minds send it back?
872
01:13:45,899 --> 01:13:49,268
- That's a good compromise.
- It's not a compromise!
873
01:13:49,361 --> 01:13:52,564
- You're taking the money!
- "Technically, yes."
874
01:14:01,665 --> 01:14:04,831
Sarge, lift stopped.
Sarge, can you hear me?
875
01:14:04,918 --> 01:14:07,373
- Power cut?
- No, it's Victor.
876
01:14:10,215 --> 01:14:13,465
- Oh, I've got to go back.
- Never go back.
877
01:14:13,551 --> 01:14:16,422
- I left the tape.
- In that case, go back.
878
01:14:50,337 --> 01:14:54,038
Seal the building and search all the rooms.
879
01:15:37,049 --> 01:15:39,754
- Sarge?
- What?
880
01:15:39,844 --> 01:15:45,964
- Fancy having a drink sometime?
- How about tomorrow night?
881
01:15:46,058 --> 01:15:49,890
- Can't tomorrow night. I'm busy.
- Well, next week, then.
882
01:15:49,979 --> 01:15:52,267
I can't. I'm busy.
883
01:15:54,858 --> 01:15:59,604
Actually, I've changed me mind. Women.
884
01:16:10,290 --> 01:16:14,418
This is only the beginning!
885
01:16:15,879 --> 01:16:17,955
I think we have done the job.
886
01:16:22,344 --> 01:16:25,795
OK. One of us should jump
first to be sure it's OK.
887
01:16:25,889 --> 01:16:29,471
The other'll make sure she
doesn't panic when she jumps.
888
01:16:29,559 --> 01:16:31,682
Right. Oh, my God!
889
01:16:35,148 --> 01:16:39,608
George, I'm perfectly happy to go
first if you're a bit worried.
890
01:16:39,694 --> 01:16:43,312
- Well, I am a bit worried.
- No. No, you'll be fine.
891
01:16:43,406 --> 01:16:46,110
Just step off. Let gravity do the work.
892
01:16:46,200 --> 01:16:49,699
Jeff's at the bottom. I'm right behind you.
893
01:16:49,787 --> 01:16:53,322
- Thanks, buddy.
- Piece of cake.
894
01:17:02,466 --> 01:17:04,672
Come on, Colin!
895
01:17:08,055 --> 01:17:10,510
We need a key to this door!
896
01:17:18,523 --> 01:17:20,350
Piece of cake.
897
01:17:21,902 --> 01:17:24,143
Where's Simon?
898
01:17:24,279 --> 01:17:27,280
'Crikey. He'll be needing some crisps.'
899
01:18:12,451 --> 01:18:15,452
- Toughened glass.
- It's a bank.
900
01:18:19,416 --> 01:18:21,455
Go.
901
01:18:23,378 --> 01:18:24,706
Sorry, Sarge.
902
01:18:26,715 --> 01:18:28,506
In the days to come,
903
01:18:28,591 --> 01:18:32,755
we will make it impossible
for the car to enter Manchester!
904
01:18:35,640 --> 01:18:40,017
The bicycle will be the
symbol of a new world order!
905
01:18:44,941 --> 01:18:46,732
Oi!
906
01:18:50,863 --> 01:18:53,235
Hey, watch it!
907
01:19:09,757 --> 01:19:14,964
Come on, you bastards! Move off the road!
908
01:19:18,599 --> 01:19:20,057
Tosser!
909
01:19:20,142 --> 01:19:21,885
We did it!
910
01:19:21,977 --> 01:19:24,219
We've got the money. Let's go!
911
01:19:24,312 --> 01:19:26,388
Do what you like!
912
01:19:26,481 --> 01:19:29,767
I'm taking the tape to get Burton.
913
01:19:48,586 --> 01:19:51,077
- Hello.
- Oh, hello.
914
01:19:51,172 --> 01:19:55,585
- What's on the tape?
- This... is...
915
01:19:55,676 --> 01:20:00,219
A Short Film About Killing by the
Polish director Krzysztof Kieslowski.
916
01:20:00,306 --> 01:20:03,722
A simple story of a man who kills
in the heat of the moment,
917
01:20:03,809 --> 01:20:08,804
then it follows the legal process,
culminating in the man's execution,
918
01:20:08,898 --> 01:20:11,685
which is just as futile as the murder.
919
01:20:11,775 --> 01:20:15,310
And that's the point, really,
that killing is wrong.
920
01:20:16,739 --> 01:20:18,861
I've seen it. It's shit.
921
01:20:18,949 --> 01:20:23,445
- Mm. Yes, it is.
- Why is it called "Tuesday"?
922
01:20:23,537 --> 01:20:25,079
Uh...
923
01:20:26,999 --> 01:20:28,623
Get after him.
924
01:21:03,909 --> 01:21:06,400
Security! They're on the way.
925
01:21:12,001 --> 01:21:15,370
Get the tape. Take it to Mr Cochran.
926
01:21:15,462 --> 01:21:18,000
I'll finish off here.
927
01:21:23,303 --> 01:21:26,221
Oi! Eh!
928
01:21:40,445 --> 01:21:42,770
You wouldn't hit a man with glasses?
929
01:21:42,864 --> 01:21:44,904
Come here.
930
01:21:51,998 --> 01:21:55,581
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
931
01:21:55,668 --> 01:21:58,669
Hey!
932
01:22:07,305 --> 01:22:09,796
Never mess with an office worker.
933
01:22:14,186 --> 01:22:15,562
Sorry.
934
01:22:22,403 --> 01:22:24,976
Thank you.
935
01:22:29,743 --> 01:22:32,827
Each of these officers
being honoured here today
936
01:22:32,913 --> 01:22:37,290
represent the force for good that
I want to see in the 21st century.
937
01:22:38,919 --> 01:22:41,207
They're all people's policemen.
938
01:22:44,841 --> 01:22:46,501
Come here.
939
01:22:46,593 --> 01:22:50,377
One word and you're dead.
Now, where's that tape?
940
01:22:50,472 --> 01:22:52,132
Wait!
941
01:22:53,683 --> 01:22:56,554
- Wow!
- One punch.
942
01:22:57,103 --> 01:22:59,641
- Here's your money.
- Thank you.
943
01:22:59,731 --> 01:23:03,396
- We're climbing that mountain.
- Good.
944
01:23:18,374 --> 01:23:21,908
You're all under arrest. Again.
Oh, thanks very much.
945
01:23:22,002 --> 01:23:24,837
I was wondering how I'd get hold of that.
946
01:23:24,922 --> 01:23:27,673
Destroy it. You've done the job for me.
947
01:23:27,758 --> 01:23:30,961
He who laughs last, laughs longest.
948
01:23:31,053 --> 01:23:32,880
- You got a secret plan?
- Yes.
949
01:23:32,971 --> 01:23:35,545
- And what's that?
- It's a secret.
950
01:23:35,641 --> 01:23:38,013
Inspector Burton?
951
01:23:38,101 --> 01:23:40,639
- How do I look?
- Crooked.
952
01:23:42,981 --> 01:23:46,065
- Have we got a secret plan?
- No, we're knackered.
953
01:23:48,862 --> 01:23:51,269
- Hello.
- Hello.
954
01:23:51,364 --> 01:23:54,816
- Where are we going?
- You tell me.
955
01:23:59,247 --> 01:24:03,743
I'm very pleased today, not just
cos I'm receiving this award,
956
01:24:03,835 --> 01:24:07,535
but also cos after a long time,
this uniform still fits.
957
01:24:08,881 --> 01:24:10,541
Uh, excuse me!
958
01:24:11,801 --> 01:24:16,297
Sorry to interrupt, but I have got a
gun pointed at this officer's head,
959
01:24:16,389 --> 01:24:19,971
so I'm sure you're aware the
procedure is to stay calm,
960
01:24:20,059 --> 01:24:22,632
don't inflame the situation and listen.
961
01:24:22,728 --> 01:24:26,856
OK, my name is Simon Garden.
I'm a probation officer.
962
01:24:26,941 --> 01:24:30,191
I have been wrongly accused of murder.
963
01:24:30,277 --> 01:24:34,144
I can't believe there are some people
talking at the back.
964
01:24:34,239 --> 01:24:36,113
Shh! Shh!
965
01:24:36,200 --> 01:24:39,734
Please be quiet, or I will
shoot her in the head.
966
01:24:39,828 --> 01:24:43,279
Thank you. Right. I am not a murderer.
967
01:24:43,373 --> 01:24:47,241
I know it doesn't look good,
but I'm not capable of murder.
968
01:24:47,335 --> 01:24:49,542
I don't even know how to fire a gun.
969
01:24:49,629 --> 01:24:53,081
But... Hey, you just
pull the trigger, right?
970
01:24:53,174 --> 01:24:55,665
Kirsty?
971
01:24:57,012 --> 01:24:59,681
We borrowed this money today from a bank.
972
01:24:59,764 --> 01:25:01,424
It was in a safe deposit box
973
01:25:01,516 --> 01:25:05,679
in the name of Detective lnspector Burton.
974
01:25:05,770 --> 01:25:10,313
Mr Garden, take the gun away
from the young officer's head.
975
01:25:10,400 --> 01:25:13,354
It's OK. I won't pull the trigger...
but I might.
976
01:25:13,444 --> 01:25:15,852
Sir, may I?
977
01:25:22,036 --> 01:25:23,614
Explain the money.
978
01:25:26,040 --> 01:25:29,491
This is money that was to
be used as bait in a sting
979
01:25:29,585 --> 01:25:34,461
on a drug syndicate I've infiltrated
posing as a corrupt policeman.
980
01:25:34,548 --> 01:25:37,751
You just wasted two years
of police time, Simon.
981
01:25:49,354 --> 01:25:50,979
What about the tape?
982
01:25:54,025 --> 01:25:56,314
♫ They've got the policeman
983
01:25:56,403 --> 01:25:59,487
♫ The big, friendly policeman
984
01:25:59,573 --> 01:26:03,440
♫ PC McGarry, number 452 ♫
985
01:26:04,786 --> 01:26:06,494
What tape?
986
01:26:31,228 --> 01:26:32,888
Thank you.
987
01:26:32,980 --> 01:26:35,436
It's a long time since I've said this,
988
01:26:35,524 --> 01:26:38,858
but I'm arresting you
on suspicion of murder.
989
01:26:38,944 --> 01:26:40,438
Sir, I can explain.
990
01:26:44,241 --> 01:26:46,317
Right, now. I've got the gun,
991
01:26:46,410 --> 01:26:49,327
and as you've seen, I
will kill if I have to.
992
01:26:49,413 --> 01:26:53,197
While you're there, put the
money in the bag, please.
993
01:26:53,292 --> 01:26:55,498
There should be more than that.
994
01:26:56,545 --> 01:26:58,169
Ow!
995
01:26:59,714 --> 01:27:02,384
If you kill me, you'll be a serial killer.
996
01:27:02,467 --> 01:27:04,045
No!
997
01:27:04,135 --> 01:27:06,922
You have to kill three
to be a serial killer.
998
01:27:07,013 --> 01:27:10,762
Sorry. That's just America. It's two here.
999
01:27:10,850 --> 01:27:15,678
Pulling that trigger will achieve
nothing. You'll just look silly.
1000
01:27:24,655 --> 01:27:26,648
You need these.
1001
01:27:26,741 --> 01:27:30,359
- And these.
- Whoo-hoo! Nice one.
1002
01:27:33,497 --> 01:27:37,032
All right. This is a police matter.
1003
01:27:37,126 --> 01:27:38,917
We'll take over from here.
1004
01:27:39,003 --> 01:27:41,576
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1005
01:27:55,769 --> 01:27:58,556
I'll look after the money.
1006
01:28:16,623 --> 01:28:19,956
- Are you going to let me go?
- I, uh, I lost the key.
1007
01:28:20,043 --> 01:28:22,616
Oh, well, that's all right. George?
1008
01:28:22,712 --> 01:28:24,669
No problem.
1009
01:28:29,760 --> 01:28:33,094
Oh, no. That's a Spear
& Jackson spring lock.
1010
01:28:33,180 --> 01:28:36,799
You won't be able to get
those open till the morning.
1011
01:28:54,868 --> 01:28:56,612
Colin?
1012
01:28:56,703 --> 01:28:59,788
Sorry. It was just a very beautiful moment.
1013
01:28:59,873 --> 01:29:01,617
I'll, um...
1014
01:29:14,929 --> 01:29:18,345
Is that, uh... a gun in your pocket?
1015
01:29:19,559 --> 01:29:21,884
No, it's my penis.78179
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