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Original subtitles

WADE: Oh, man, this place is so great.

DELIA: I know, I'm excited. Hey,

I saw on Yelp that this escape room

is the toughest in the city.

FORREST: Yeah, and it's James Bond-themed.

Mm-hmm.Luckily, a certain guy

in our group,

a certain cool guy, knows everything there is to know

about England's greatest gentleman agent.

That would be me.

[chuckles]MICHELLE: Okay, explain why this is

gonna be fun? So, we're paying

to spend an hour in a room searching for things?

Y'all know I have four kids. I do this all day.

[laughter]BEN: Give it a chance, baby.

Sounds like it could be fun.

And don't worry, Michelle. We're gonna be done in no time

'cause I'm a whiz at puzzles.

Oh, yeah. Delia's our secret weapon.

She finished the Friday sudoku

in eight minutes and 11 seconds.

DELIA: Yeah, okay.

Stop timing me, you goof.

[Forrest laughs]Come on. You know,

how great is this? Wade's no longer

the odd man out.WADE: Yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty great.FORREST: God,

when was the last time we all went out

on an adventure together?BEN: Oh,

man, hey, was it that time we went

to the murder mystery dinner for Jill and Wade's anniversary?DELIA: Oh!

That was so fun!BEN: That was, right?

Yeah, but the food was terrible.

I thought I was gonna die for real.

[laughter]

Hello, agents.DELIA: Oh.

What?JARED: Congratulations.

[overlapping chatter]

You've all been granted

triple-O status, the credentials

to assassinate.

Don't you mean... You mean "license to kill," right?

Thanks to a cease and desist order, I do not.

My name is Jared, and I regret to inform you

that you are all now prisoners of the ruthless Silverhand.

[Ben laughing]

That's so weak.

Come on, man, just try and get into it, please.

WADE: Yeah, go ahead, man, go ahead.You have one hour

to search for clues, solve puzzles and complete tasks

in order to escape and destroy Silverhand's...

[imitates laser] ...hydro-sonic laser.

Wait, does it kill people,

or does it just clean their teeth?It kills people.

Uh, don't worry, I'll protect you.

No, you don't worry, I will protect you.No, I'll protect you.

No, I shall protect you.I shall protect you.

I will protect you.I'm protecting you. I'm protecting you.

Uh, this is a liability release form.

I need you and your husband to sign it.

What? Him?Yo-You thought that we were together?

That's so funny. No, no, no, no, no.No, we're not together.

I mean, we came here together, but we're not married or...Do we give off that vibe?

Not married.'Cause we are dating.

We're dating.We're dating, and, you know, he's great.

You're great.You-You're great.

Well, thanks. But yeah, so this is brand-new.

I-I was married, but this is-- Yeah.

I think he gets it.No, no, no. Yeah.

I mean, you get it. You get it.

It's not-- We're not--

Nobody's knocking the institution.

So you want two forms.

That'd be great. Yeah. Cool.Yeah, that's be great, thanks.

[door creaking]

You may now enter the lair.

[cheering]

[scoffs] [giggles]

Once I seal the door there is no escape.

What do you-- No escape?

But we can zip out if we want some fresh air, right?No.

This lock cannot be opened.

But it can be opened

if somebody really needed to zip out.

No zipping.

FORREST: Let's do this!

DELIA: Okay, I'm gonna get my first challenge.

You okay, big fella?

Okay?

I'm loving this.

Oh, hey, guys, remember to look under stuff.

People never think of under.Yeah, good idea.

Uh... Uh...

Whoa, hey!

I think I found the first puzzle.

[a la Sean Connery]: Looks like a high-stakes card game.

Oh, very impressive, Mr. Bond.

Thank you. And who might you be?

Me? My name is Lady Sexytime.

I'm sorry, I'm really bad at accents.

Pretty good.Okay, guys, so this--

this seems like a poker game here.

I found a briefcase. It's locked. Oh.

Great. So we've just got to find the combination. Yeah.

So, okay, all right.

Okay, I got this. Okay.You go it. Watch this.

All right, um, okay, all right, so we're just gonna

just add up the value of all the cards.

It seems like that's gonna be too many numbers.

WADE and SHANNON: Yeah.Oh, okay. Yeah. Right.

Okay, okay. Um...

You got this. No, I know.

I'm just shaking off all the cobwebs. Okay. Um...

[stammering]: Yeah. All right,

it has to do with the color of the suits.

Color of the suits.Yeah, color.

Diamond. No. Oh!

What year was poker invented?

Uh, who-who would just know that?

FORREST: Yeah.

Okay, can you just give me a minute?

'Cause I-I'm gonna get this.

Okay. Yeah.I will get this.

[breathing irregularly]

Uh, are you okay?

I didn't realize how small this room was gonna be.

MICHELLE: Oh, no, are you having one of your things?

No, I'm fine.

Wha-What kind of things do you have?I don't have things.

No things.

Don't worry, Mr. Chocolate Bear, we'll get you out of here.

He'll be okay.Yeah.

Okay, where are we at with this puzzle?I don't know, this is a toughie.

No, I'm so close, I can taste it.

All right, well, there are four hands at this table,

So the first hand has four cards,

the second six, the third three, and the fourth four, so...

maybe the four-six-three-four is the lock code?

No, I don't think that's it.[loud click]

That's it.Wait, what?

Whoa. You got it. Huh?

All right.

Yay! [whoops]

Here we go. Ready? Ready?

Mm-hmm.

All right.

[all shout out][Forrest laughs]

Well, that gets the old heart pumping, huh?

Yeah, this is lots of fun.

Okay, what's next? Let's do this. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I think the next clue is the snake.

Okay. Okay, okay. Snake. Snake.

Snake jumper. Snake, snake, cobra snake.

Cobra snake.

Jumping-- Jumping cobras.

Uh... snake jumpers!

Okay, relax, okay, but I love the enthusiasm, I really do.

All right, come on, guys, we gotta get crackin', all right?

The time to beat is 52 minutes, three seconds.

How did you get to that precise time?

Oh, well, that's-- That was the time it took

my co-worker Dmitri to finish it.

So... And he's been bragging about it for a month.

So this is just about you

showing up someone from your office?

No, not just.

But he's so full of himself. But not just.

SHANNON: Guys, guys, there are snakes.

Two snakes on the picture.

Oh, oh, oh, okay.

Oh-ho...

[all exclaiming]

Yes! Yes!

Yes. So it's another key pad

with, this time, a five-digit code this time.

Oh, are there numbers in the painting?

Oh, good idea.

Move!Oh...

Uh, I can see... okay, numbers, numbers, numbers,

numbers, numbers. No numbers. None.No numbers. Oh.

Well, you guys gave it your all.

How 'bout we call it a day, and, uh,

anybody up for Chinese? My treat.

It's gotta be something with the snake, right?

Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!

The snake is coiled around the coat of arms, right?

And the shield is inscribed "A.M."A.M.

A.M.? A.M.DELIA: Sorry, A.M.

Just get the juices going. Okay, A.M., A.M., A.M., A.M.

Oh, A.M. radi-- A.M. radio.

1070 A.M. radio. Your news and weather

on the hour, every hour. Try... Try 1070!

So you think it's the radio station we listen to?

Oh, you don't?

Okay, um, James Bond drove an Aston Martin.

A.M. Aston Martin.

There's a model car right there on the shelf.

Oh...DELIA: Oh! On the shelf!

And the numbers on the license plate.On the license plate!

FORREST: Oh, Michelle nails it.Yeah.

Looks like we got a new secret weapon, huh?

[chuckles][cell phone chiming]

JARED [over P.A.]: Cell phones are prohibited in the lair.

It's cheating.

WADE: Um, I got to answer it.

It's my daughters.

It could be an emergency.

[whispering]: Are they watching us?[scoffs]

Hey, Natalie. Everything okay?

Hey, Dad. I need to buy

something for school. Could you give me

the Amazon confirmation code they're texting you?

Yeah, yeah, sure thing. Uh, hold on.

FORREST: Michelle, read me the license plate.

NPH-two...

...seven... One, five...

One-five-two...No, not two, three.

Uh, four-nine....seven... four...

That's four-nine. Yes, four-nine.What? That's wrong.

Okay, thank you.Okay,

uh, you're welcome.

JARED: That did not sound like an emergency.

Sorry, sorry, I'm done.

Three... eight...

nine.

[alarm sounding]Whoa, what's happening?

Whoa! Secret passageway!

[gasps]

FORREST: Whoa. Secret passageway? That's crazy.

Wow. Yes!

Good teamwork, everybody.[laughs]

Are we out?

No. It's another room.What?!

Oh, my God, this is so cool.Right?

Yes.Look, I told you this was gonna be so much fun, Jill...

I mean, Shannon.

Um...

Oh, my God.

I-I just called her Jill.

You don't think she heard me?

Mm-hmm. We all heard you.

Uh, okay. Okay.

We could have gone mini-golfing, but no...

Oh, cool.

This must be Silverhand's inner sanctum, huh?

BEN: Baby...

what if this room leads to another room,

and another room and another room,

and we never get out of here?

There can't be that many more rooms.

There's a Petco on the other side of that wall.

So, uh, Shannon, uh, what do you think?

One of these buttons over here make the map light up?

No, but I think the ones over here might.

What? Whoa!

Hey... [laughs]Hey-oh!

Shannon nails it.

You know, I told everybody Shannon is gonna be

so good at this.

Y-You sure are saying my name a lot.

Am I? Yeah.

Okay, look, um, I don't know if you noticed earlier,

but-but I may have called you Jill.

Yeah, you did.

Okay, well, I just want you to know

it was a slip of the tongue;

like, I meant nothing by it.

Okay.I mean, like, sometimes, you know,

I even call the girls by the dog's name, like,

"Hey, Linda, will you take the trash out?"

I mean, Linda can't, obviously, take the trash out

'cause she's a dog.

You know, maybe this isn't the right place

to talk about this, yeah?

Okay, gotcha.

Hey, let's solve this puzzle.

What do you got?

So, how's it going? Uh, well,

she, uh, she just said that this isn't the place

to really get into this.

Uh-oh. Yeah.

Yeah, that means that there's a "this" to get into.

I mean, but she knows it didn't mean anything, right?

I mean, it didn't mean anything.

I mean, I don't think it meant anything, did it?

[phone chimes][Wade sighs]

Really? Now, Natalie?What is it?

Natalie just rented the movie White Fang.

Oh, don't worry, it's about dogs, not vampires.Yeah, I know.

But she's supposed to be reading the book.

JARED: No phones allowed.

Wha-- I'm just cancelling a movie rental.

I'm not cheating.

Come on, man.God.

What the...?

[exhales] He's onto me.

Read the book. [scoffs]

So, we have to make the perfect four-ounce martini...

Mm-hmm....but we only have a five-ounce glass

and a three-ounce one, and they've given us gin,

which, you know, Bond would never drink in a million years,

but whatever.

Well, yeah, I mean, it's easy.

You just fill the five-ounce glass

and pour out a fifth of it out.

Yeah, but how do we know what a fifth is?

Eyeball it.

Then why did they give us the three-ounce glass?

I don't know. Why would a cool, suave spy guy

need to measure his liquor exactly anyway?

This whole puzzle sucks.

Oh, come on. We got to think.

I can't think, okay? I don't know why.

I mean, I can get a Lego out of a kid's nostril,

but I can't do this?

[bell chimes]Got it.

Oh.

Way to go, Michelle.

Check me out.

Yeah, check you out, Michelle. [whoops]

FORREST: Hey, come on.

It's okay, Delia.

You're just getting warmed up.

I'm not getting warmed up, Forrest. This is me warmed up.

This is as warm as I get. I just have to accept it.

Michelle's a Mozart and I'm a Salieri.

This is some kind of old telephone book.

What are we supposed to do with this?That's cool.

Super cool.

MICHELLE: Wade.

I think I'm gonna go talk to Shannon.

You know, Wade, sometimes when a person tells you

they don't want to talk about this,

what they really mean is they don't want to talk about this.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely a bad idea.

But you're gonna do it anyway?

[phone chimes]Probably.

What? What-- a security alert?

What now?

Somebody at my house is accessing

an unsecured server in North Macedonia?

I bet you anything it's Natalie

trying to illegally download White Fang.

Well, guess what? Papa has an app

that allows him to shut off the Wi-Fi remotely.

GRACE [laughs]: Oh, wow, that turtle

is really going to town on that watermelon. [laughs]

Oh, hey, Cherise, can you send us the video of the cat

riding the d...

Uh-oh.

Natalie?

What did you do?

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Fish usually calm me, but not these.

Are you claustrophobic?

No. [scoffs]It's-it's okay.

It's nothing to be ashamed of. Trust me, I understand.

It's not claustrophobia exactly.

I just don't like being locked in, anywhere.

Yeah. You know those claw machines

that you put a quarter in and try to get a toy?

Mm-hmm.

I got trapped inside one.

Oh, God. How?

I was five.

Oh.Yeah, I crawled in to get a Skeletor.

To my defense, he did have a glow-in-the-dark sword.

Yeah, no, I get it. I get it.

I was He-Man three Halloweens in a row,

so... Cool.

Yeah. Anyway, you have no idea

how scary it is to be trapped inside a place

you don't want to be and there's no way out.

No, I've, um, I've been there.

FORREST: All right, guys. Come on.

We got to focus up, all right?

We've got three puzzles finished,

we're halfway there.BEN: Halfway?

Hey, Forrest, I'm telling you, man, I'm about ready

to rip this console apart to get out of this place.

JARED: Do not rip any consoles apart.

WADE: Uh, hey.

Shannon. Hey, hey, please, no, please don't run away.Hey.

There's really nowhere to go in here.

Yeah, no, I know.Okay, look, uh, when I said

that it didn't mean anything when I called you Jill?

That's not true. It did mean something.

But, uh, it's a good thing.

You're-you're the first person

that I've ever brought out with my friends that I can picture...

As a replacement for your wife? Oh, my God.

No. No, no, no, no. That's not what I was gonna say...Oh, God.

No wonder that Jared guy thought we were married.

Wade, no. This is, this is going too fast.

In two weeks, I've gone from doing it in the garage

to "You're Mrs. Felton."Look, you're not Mrs. Felton.

She was Mrs. Felton.

I mean, not-not that you couldn't be Mrs. Felton.

Of course you could be Mrs. Felton. You're great.

I mean, you're so great, I just wouldn't a-ask you--

Will you please just tell me how to fix this?

Yeah, I think, you know, I really need some space

right now. Yeah.Okay.

Yeah, me, too.

Hey, open the damn door, man!

Yeah, Jared, honey, I think we're done in here.

Jared, don't listen to them.

They're weak.

Nobody...

[whispers]: is going anywhere.

What do we got? What do we know? What do we do?

How do we get out of here?Well, this map

has got to mean something, right?

And I found this microfilm in the piranha tank,

because I'm awesome, but we still

don't know what to do with it.I wonder if the door will open

if I set off the smoke alarm.

JARED: Do not activate the smoke detector.

I'm just looking for clues, Jared!

[phone ringing][groans]

Why didn't I leave my phone at home?

What?

GRACE: This is so unfair. No Internet?

Natalie did something bad, not me. [sighs]

This is literally a death sentence for my social life.

It's not literally a death sentence.

Yes, it is. They changed the definition

of "literally," look it up.

Well, personally, I blame Grace.

I asked her what happens in White Fang,

she could barely even remember anything.

Natalie, I'm gonna say three words,

then I want you to hand the phone back to your sister.

Read the book.

Hey, uh, Michelle.Mm?

Can I talk to you for a sec?

Mm-hmm.

Um, listen, you-you may have noticed Delia

sitting sadly in the corner, quoting Amadeus.

[accent]: I speak for all the mediocrity in the world.

I am their champion. I am their patron saint.

Is she really this upset about a puzzle?

Yes. Look, you're amazing at this.

I obviously want to win.

I would love nothing more than to wipe that smile

off of Dmitri's smug little face.

But... [clears throat]

the most important thing here, of course, is Delia.

So, uh, if you could

just, uh, maybe help her out with a win,

you know, just,

just one little win,

that would be so awesome.

I mean, her self-esteem is really taking a hit here.

You're a good man. A good man with a crazy wife.

Yeah, you know, I'm not gonna push back too hard on that one.[chuckles]

Oh, my God, 12 minutes. We got 12 minutes left.

Delia, Delia, come on.

Let's go. All hands on deck.

What is this? What are we looking for?

DELIA: I don't know. There's obviously

some connection between this map and the numbers

on this microfilm, but I don't know what.Yeah.

FORREST: Come on, you can do this. You can do this.

Think. Just think.Oh, I don't know. I don't...

Will you please just ask Michelle?!

[alarm sounding]

Oh, the self-destruct.

We're gonna self-- we're gonna self-destruct!

DELIA: Okay. Come on, Delia.

You can do this. I mean, I can do this, right, Forrest?

Of course you can do this, honey.

Of course you can do it.

[quietly]: She can't do this.

Hey, Shannon, Shannon? I need to talk to you.Wade, I'm kind of busy here.

This self-destruct is not gonna destroy itself.

U-Uh-- Just give me a second.

Hey. How's it going?

[shushes] Back off, Alan Turing.

Okay, well, I see you got this, so I'll just give you some...

latitude.

Okay, thank you, Michelle. I do-- I really do appreciate...

That's it.

What?[laughs]: Yes, I got it!

I got it! Okay.

The numbers on the, on the, on the microfilm

correspond with the latitude and longitude on the map.

[laughs] All right.

So then what?Then the telephone codes

of whatever country it is is the code for the airlock.

[laughs] Yeah!

Booyah!

Look who's back, bitches.

Okay, look,

I know why I called you Jill,

and it's not because I'm trying to replace her.

I couldn't.

But I haven't been this comfortable

around someone in a long time.

That's sweet, Wade, it is,

but it's a lot.

It is.

And I know it is, and...

[exhales] Look, it's just that this last year,

I've been so focused on what I was ready for

that I didn't stop to think what you were ready for.

And-and you're not ready

to move this fast, and-and I totally get it.

No, I am ready to move this fast.

That's what scares me.

It does? Yes.

I haven't had a real relationship like this

since the divorce, and-and it scares me

because I really want to go all in,

and then there's this voice in my head that says,

"What the hell are you thinking, you stupid idiot?"

Well, we will go as slow as you want.

[a la Sean Connery]: You call the shots, Lady Sexytime.

[laughs]

[accent]: You're damn right I do--

Uh-uh. That's Borat.

Okay. That's-- I'm just doing Borat now.

I think you're doing Borat. Yeah.I think so, too. Yeah.

Ah, the-- 20... Okay.

Belgium. Okay.

Belgium, um... 32.

[beeping, alarm sounds]

[gasps]

Peace out!

Yes! [laughs] We did it.

MICHELLE: Yes.

DELIA: Yes.FORREST: All right!

Thanks, Michelle. That was so much fun.

And the great thing is, is everybody contributed.

[laughs] Hey, thank you.

Well, I was worried I was too obvious with my clue.

Oh, you totally were, but you know,

Delia sees what she wants to see.

Mm.

[gasps] 51:37.

We did it. We beat Dmitri's time.[Delia whoops]

Yes. Yes.

Actually, because one of your group used his cell phone,

I have to penalize you by five minutes.

DELIA: What?

You're enjoying this, aren't you, you son of a bitch?

Forrest.

Yeah.

Wait, wait. Where's Wade and Shannon?

Oh, wow.

So we defeated the bad guy, and now Wade is kissing the girl

with the terrible accent?

This really is a James Bond movie.

[alarm sounds]

Oh, my God.

No way. It's good, right?

Do you mind?

A man is shooting at White Fang.

GRACE: Well, I got so bored

without the Internet

that I decided to bake some brownies. Huh.

Like some sort of pioneer woman.

Oh, wow.

That-that is delicious.Yeah?

Well, I'm bored again, so I'm gonna go do some laundry.

I hope you're happy, Dad.You know what?

I am happy. I may not turn the Internet back on.

Do not even joke about that.

NATALIE: Oh, my God, will you two

please be quiet?

Captioning sponsored by CBS

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Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0

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