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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,249 --> 00:00:12,288 [conductor tapping on music stand] 4 00:00:12,288 --> 00:00:16,533 [orchestra playing dramatic music] 5 00:00:36,174 --> 00:00:37,692 - He's a swell guy. 6 00:00:37,692 --> 00:00:39,936 [laughing] 7 00:00:41,110 --> 00:00:42,456 - Overture's started. Three minutes, kids. 8 00:00:42,456 --> 00:00:43,422 Let's get ready. 9 00:00:43,422 --> 00:00:45,700 - [Everybody] Okay, last one. 10 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:46,529 - Is Virginia here? 11 00:00:46,529 --> 00:00:48,048 - No, she's not. 12 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:48,979 - It's a good thing she's a friend of the producer's. 13 00:00:48,979 --> 00:00:50,326 - And has a rich father. 14 00:00:50,326 --> 00:00:51,672 - Hey, what are you doing here? 15 00:00:51,672 --> 00:00:53,432 [shouting] 16 00:00:53,432 --> 00:00:54,571 - You hot dog. 17 00:00:54,571 --> 00:00:57,126 - Aw. For goodness' sake. 18 00:00:57,126 --> 00:01:01,544 - Overture's started, Miss Kitt, three minutes. 19 00:01:01,544 --> 00:01:04,098 - Miss Ghostley, three minutes. 20 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,102 - Miss Caroll, three minutes. 21 00:01:09,345 --> 00:01:13,038 Not now. Let's go, people. Speed up. 22 00:01:13,038 --> 00:01:14,626 - Look out, mister. 23 00:01:16,593 --> 00:01:18,078 [knocking] 24 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,631 - Mr. Clary, Mr. Clary. 25 00:01:19,631 --> 00:01:20,908 - I'm down here, Ron. 26 00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:21,736 - Three minutes. 27 00:01:21,736 --> 00:01:22,530 - Okay. 28 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:24,808 - Have you seen Coocoo? 29 00:01:24,808 --> 00:01:27,017 - No, she isn't here yet. 30 00:01:27,017 --> 00:01:29,537 - Oh, here she comes, move. 31 00:01:29,537 --> 00:01:30,780 - Coocoo darling, where have you been? 32 00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:31,919 Brian's been looking all over for you. 33 00:01:31,919 --> 00:01:32,851 - Coocoo, do you have it? 34 00:01:32,851 --> 00:01:33,955 - Only half. 35 00:01:33,955 --> 00:01:36,061 - Oh, how dumb can you get? 36 00:01:36,061 --> 00:01:37,373 - Hey, hey, any more of that, 37 00:01:37,373 --> 00:01:39,444 and you'll have me to deal with. 38 00:01:39,444 --> 00:01:41,929 - My dear Miss Virginia De Luce Clayborn. 39 00:01:41,929 --> 00:01:44,104 The man's here, he wants his money. 40 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,658 You promised me and I promised him he'd have it, 41 00:01:46,658 --> 00:01:48,177 all of it before curtain time. 42 00:01:48,177 --> 00:01:51,283 - But daddy just won't until he sees what I do in the show. 43 00:01:51,283 --> 00:01:52,250 - You see? I told you to give her 44 00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:55,149 something more important to do. 45 00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:56,944 - You gave your solemn oath. 46 00:01:56,944 --> 00:02:00,499 You said a true Texan never breaks his word, remember? 47 00:02:00,499 --> 00:02:02,122 - But daddy changed his mind. 48 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,778 There's nothing I can do, Ronny. 49 00:02:03,778 --> 00:02:05,021 - Places, everyone. 50 00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:06,471 - Gee whiz, I've just got to get dressed. 51 00:02:06,471 --> 00:02:07,713 - Oh, all right. 52 00:02:07,713 --> 00:02:10,992 - [Stage Manager] Places everyone. 53 00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:13,202 - Here, take this. 54 00:02:13,202 --> 00:02:14,237 Give it to that man over there. 55 00:02:14,237 --> 00:02:15,169 I've got to hurry. 56 00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:16,653 - But what should I tell him? 57 00:02:16,653 --> 00:02:17,413 - Stall him, I'm going to have the rest of it in an hour. 58 00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:18,621 - But Ronny I... 59 00:02:18,621 --> 00:02:20,588 [comical music] 60 00:02:20,588 --> 00:02:21,417 Why me? 61 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,113 - Monsieur, this way please. 62 00:02:28,113 --> 00:02:30,598 I have something for you. 63 00:02:30,598 --> 00:02:33,670 - [Stage Manager] Everybody on stage. 64 00:02:41,368 --> 00:02:42,990 - This way, please. 65 00:02:55,244 --> 00:02:57,625 - Curtain Mr. Clary, curtain. 66 00:03:01,284 --> 00:03:03,528 [knocking] 67 00:03:10,051 --> 00:03:11,294 - Hurry, Clary. 68 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,643 [dramatic music] 69 00:03:15,643 --> 00:03:17,818 ♪ You've never seen us before 70 00:03:17,818 --> 00:03:20,303 ♪ We've never seen you before 71 00:03:20,303 --> 00:03:25,308 ♪ What a pleasant place to finally meet. ♪ 72 00:03:26,482 --> 00:03:30,382 ♪ So much better than that old busy street. ♪ 73 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:32,936 ♪ We vocally take your hand 74 00:03:32,936 --> 00:03:35,525 ♪ And vocally shake your hand 75 00:03:35,525 --> 00:03:40,220 ♪ And ask you to be part of this hullaballoo ♪ 76 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:44,741 ♪ As our equivalent to how do you do? ♪ 77 00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:47,434 ♪ How do you do Mr. Orchestra? 78 00:03:47,434 --> 00:03:50,230 ♪ How do you do, Mrs. Mezzanine? ♪ 79 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,646 ♪ How do you do Lord and Lady Balcony? ♪ 80 00:03:52,646 --> 00:03:55,545 ♪ You're the welcomest sight we've ever seen ♪ 81 00:03:55,545 --> 00:03:56,960 ♪ We say it again 82 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:57,961 ♪ Encore 83 00:03:57,961 --> 00:04:00,447 ♪ You've never seen us before 84 00:04:00,447 --> 00:04:04,658 ♪ But we hope before our musical ends ♪ 85 00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:06,970 ♪ That New Faces and you 86 00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:10,595 ♪ will be good friends 87 00:04:10,595 --> 00:04:13,943 [C'est Si Bon sung by Eartha Kitt] 88 00:04:13,943 --> 00:04:17,774 [singing in foreign language] 89 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:41,341 ♪ Ah, Cadillac car, mink coats. ♪ 90 00:05:42,963 --> 00:05:46,794 [singing in foreign language] 91 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:46,164 [whimsical music] 92 00:06:47,372 --> 00:06:50,340 ♪ He takes me off his income tax ♪ 93 00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:53,723 ♪ So when he buys me Cadillac's ♪ 94 00:06:53,723 --> 00:06:57,175 ♪ The FBI won't watch his movements ♪ 95 00:06:57,175 --> 00:07:00,420 ♪ He writes me off as property improvements ♪ 96 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,904 ♪ He takes me off his- 97 00:07:01,904 --> 00:07:02,732 - Stop. 98 00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:04,872 - Now? 99 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,150 - [Ronny] Now. 100 00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:08,980 - All right. [clearing throat] 101 00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:11,500 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 102 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:16,090 We are about to present a new television panel program. 103 00:07:17,609 --> 00:07:20,405 We now take you to Washington DC. 104 00:07:24,271 --> 00:07:25,755 [giggling] 105 00:07:25,755 --> 00:07:28,758 [whimsical music] 106 00:07:28,758 --> 00:07:32,279 ♪ He takes me off his income tax. ♪ 107 00:07:32,279 --> 00:07:35,316 - [Announcer On TV] It's time for "Meet the Senate". 108 00:07:35,316 --> 00:07:39,148 Each week at this time an ordinary American citizen 109 00:07:39,148 --> 00:07:42,013 meets two members of the Senate. 110 00:07:42,013 --> 00:07:44,153 Nothing official, 111 00:07:44,153 --> 00:07:46,638 just a friendly investigation. 112 00:07:49,296 --> 00:07:50,470 - Good evening, folks. 113 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,161 And welcome to "Meet the Senate". 114 00:07:52,161 --> 00:07:54,094 I am your genial moderator, 115 00:07:54,094 --> 00:07:56,268 District Attorney, Otto Holley. 116 00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,132 Our distinguished panel this evening 117 00:07:58,132 --> 00:08:01,550 consists of Senator Harold Marble, Republican of Vermont, 118 00:08:01,550 --> 00:08:05,623 and Senator Eli Hutchinson, Democrat of Missouri. 119 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:10,662 Tonight we are going to investigate the effect of jazz music 120 00:08:10,662 --> 00:08:12,699 on the young people of America. 121 00:08:12,699 --> 00:08:14,390 Our guest witness is the musician 122 00:08:14,390 --> 00:08:18,498 who specializes in a branch of jazz known as Bop. 123 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,707 It promises to be exciting session. 124 00:08:20,707 --> 00:08:24,055 Officer, would you bring on the witness? 125 00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,853 - Mr. Daz Rocco. 126 00:08:28,853 --> 00:08:32,063 [exciting jazz music] 127 00:08:32,063 --> 00:08:32,926 - Freeze Gates. 128 00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:34,065 What's the story? 129 00:08:34,065 --> 00:08:35,515 - You are Mr. Daz Rocco? 130 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,482 - Who else, man? My card. 131 00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:40,243 I can't stand nothing square. 132 00:08:40,243 --> 00:08:43,039 - Yes, this is Senator Hutchinson, Senator Marvel 133 00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:45,835 and I am the moderator for the panel, Otto Holley. 134 00:08:45,835 --> 00:08:47,319 - Skin, man. Mop! 135 00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:49,563 - Raise your right hand. 136 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,013 Just the right hand. 137 00:08:51,013 --> 00:08:51,945 Do you swear the testimony you're about to give 138 00:08:51,945 --> 00:08:53,222 is the truth, the whole truth 139 00:08:53,222 --> 00:08:54,499 and nothing but the truth, so help you? 140 00:08:54,499 --> 00:08:56,259 - Where'd you get them crazy lyrics? 141 00:08:56,259 --> 00:08:57,744 - Mr. Rocco, it's come to our attention 142 00:08:57,744 --> 00:08:59,642 that you as musician and band leader, 143 00:08:59,642 --> 00:09:01,264 exerted tremendous influence 144 00:09:01,264 --> 00:09:04,026 among certain large segments of American youth. 145 00:09:04,026 --> 00:09:06,407 They consider you a tangible manifestation 146 00:09:06,407 --> 00:09:07,926 of a superior temperament. 147 00:09:07,926 --> 00:09:09,997 - Oh, I wouldn't say that. 148 00:09:09,997 --> 00:09:11,654 Man, I couldn't say that. 149 00:09:11,654 --> 00:09:13,069 But let's stop goofing. 150 00:09:13,069 --> 00:09:17,557 I'm here to help you investigate and catch [screeching]. 151 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,904 I know just how you feel, Jim. 152 00:09:19,904 --> 00:09:22,251 - Mr. Rocco, this panel is invested in finding out 153 00:09:22,251 --> 00:09:24,218 something about the nature of your work. 154 00:09:24,218 --> 00:09:26,911 You are an orchestra leader, are you not? 155 00:09:26,911 --> 00:09:28,429 - Mean, do I front a combo? 156 00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:29,603 Yeah, man. 157 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:30,846 - In other words your work is comparable 158 00:09:30,846 --> 00:09:32,917 to that of say, Mr. Guy Lombardo? 159 00:09:32,917 --> 00:09:34,366 - God damn it, I won't take that 160 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,954 even from the government. 161 00:09:35,954 --> 00:09:37,438 - Please, Mr. Rocco, be seated. 162 00:09:37,438 --> 00:09:38,647 - Don't touch the suit man, 163 00:09:38,647 --> 00:09:40,752 you'll make the colors run. 164 00:09:40,752 --> 00:09:42,029 [chuckling] 165 00:09:42,029 --> 00:09:44,204 - Now could you tell us where you and your combo 166 00:09:44,204 --> 00:09:45,550 are currently employed? 167 00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:46,793 - Oh, it ain't no secret, Jim. 168 00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:49,209 We make it every night at Boobie's Bob Hatch. 169 00:09:49,209 --> 00:09:50,900 - Just where is this establishment located? 170 00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:52,522 - On 52nd street. 171 00:09:52,522 --> 00:09:54,007 I don't know the exact address, 172 00:09:54,007 --> 00:09:57,804 but it's the only building in the block that moves. 173 00:09:57,804 --> 00:09:59,529 - Do they serve liquor on the premises? 174 00:09:59,529 --> 00:10:00,565 - You mean groove juice? 175 00:10:00,565 --> 00:10:01,911 They certainly do. 176 00:10:01,911 --> 00:10:03,223 Man, every night about 12 o'clock 177 00:10:03,223 --> 00:10:05,605 that joint is the groove juicy. 178 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,641 - In other words if one of your teenage fans 179 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:10,299 wanted to see you he'd have to come to this nightclub 180 00:10:10,299 --> 00:10:12,301 where intoxicating beverages are sold? 181 00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:15,511 - Oh no, they don't serve no juice to the kids. 182 00:10:15,511 --> 00:10:17,927 We do a special session for the Junior Jazz click 183 00:10:17,927 --> 00:10:21,275 starts at four o'clock every Sunday afternoon. 184 00:10:21,275 --> 00:10:23,105 - And when does it finish? 185 00:10:23,105 --> 00:10:24,002 - Thursday. 186 00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:27,799 - You mean you stay awake for four days? 187 00:10:27,799 --> 00:10:29,111 - Doesn't everybody? 188 00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:31,389 Man, it's easy if you know the magic word. 189 00:10:31,389 --> 00:10:32,873 - What magic word? 190 00:10:34,806 --> 00:10:36,532 - Benzedrine. 191 00:10:36,532 --> 00:10:38,085 - That's just plain crazy. 192 00:10:38,085 --> 00:10:39,397 - It's the craziest. 193 00:10:39,397 --> 00:10:41,261 - But who looks after your little boys? 194 00:10:41,261 --> 00:10:42,538 - I do, man. 195 00:10:42,538 --> 00:10:45,368 Why every morning I give them a nice breakfast. 196 00:10:45,368 --> 00:10:47,336 Hot avocado seed soup, 197 00:10:47,336 --> 00:10:49,649 and a cold glass of Maltese milk-- 198 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,995 - You mean malted milk, don't you? 199 00:10:50,995 --> 00:10:53,514 - No, Maltese. It's cat's milk. 200 00:10:53,514 --> 00:10:54,999 It's awful hard to get though. 201 00:10:54,999 --> 00:10:57,898 You've got to use a very low stool. 202 00:10:59,831 --> 00:11:01,315 You dig? 203 00:11:01,315 --> 00:11:03,145 Now after that I give a little Daz his music lesson. 204 00:11:03,145 --> 00:11:04,664 Man, that kid's going to be a great musician. 205 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,907 He don't know what a melody is. 206 00:11:06,907 --> 00:11:07,943 What's his story? 207 00:11:07,943 --> 00:11:09,323 - Go on, Mr. Rocco. 208 00:11:09,323 --> 00:11:11,222 - Well come 10 o'clock it's time to go to work. 209 00:11:11,222 --> 00:11:12,741 So I pick up my horn, 210 00:11:12,741 --> 00:11:16,503 which has got a special de-nicotine filter in the mouthpiece 211 00:11:16,503 --> 00:11:19,333 so as you can blow and smoke at the same time. 212 00:11:19,333 --> 00:11:20,783 And I cut out for the Bob Hat. 213 00:11:20,783 --> 00:11:22,923 Man moves man and them cats are screaming for me. 214 00:11:22,923 --> 00:11:24,166 I get up on the stand, 215 00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:25,788 put out my hand, kick off the band. 216 00:11:25,788 --> 00:11:27,134 Then I pick up the horn, and I blow. 217 00:11:27,134 --> 00:11:28,860 And the cats line up in a row. 218 00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:30,482 And I follow wherever I go. 219 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:31,311 Go. 220 00:11:31,311 --> 00:11:32,553 Go. 221 00:11:32,553 --> 00:11:35,556 [upbeat jazz music] 222 00:11:42,874 --> 00:11:45,359 - Senator. Senator, where's the rest of the committee? 223 00:11:45,359 --> 00:11:48,293 - They're gone, man. Real gone. 224 00:11:48,293 --> 00:11:49,812 [Lucky Pierre sung by Robert Clary, Carol Lawrence, 225 00:11:49,812 --> 00:11:51,365 Virginia Wilson, Patricia Hammerlee and Bill Mullikin] 226 00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:52,988 ♪ We're awaiting the arrival of a brand new face of France ♪ 227 00:11:52,988 --> 00:11:54,437 ♪ A figure of romance 228 00:11:54,437 --> 00:11:55,922 ♪ Who has us in a trance 229 00:11:55,922 --> 00:11:57,578 ♪ We hope that you'll be pleased to see us ♪ 230 00:11:57,578 --> 00:11:58,959 ♪ Waving by the door 231 00:11:58,959 --> 00:12:00,858 ♪ To see us waiting for 232 00:12:00,858 --> 00:12:03,792 ♪ The man whom we adore 233 00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:06,760 ♪ His shadow comes in view 234 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,177 ♪ Our senses start to reel 235 00:12:10,177 --> 00:12:14,285 ♪ Voila and sacre bleu 236 00:12:14,285 --> 00:12:19,290 ♪ Here is our ideal 237 00:12:23,397 --> 00:12:24,916 ♪ Bonsoir, bonsoir 238 00:12:24,916 --> 00:12:26,469 ♪ I'm sorry that I'm late 239 00:12:26,469 --> 00:12:27,919 ♪ But I've been signing autographs ♪ 240 00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:29,438 ♪ Since quarter after late 241 00:12:29,438 --> 00:12:32,441 [singing in foreign language] 242 00:12:32,441 --> 00:12:33,753 ♪ In case you don't speak French ♪ 243 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,133 ♪ It simply means that I love you. ♪ 244 00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,445 ♪ I love you all 245 00:12:36,445 --> 00:12:38,654 [singing in foreign language] 246 00:12:38,654 --> 00:12:41,277 ♪ If I was tall I'd love you more ♪ 247 00:12:41,277 --> 00:12:44,349 ♪ But since I'm not accept me as I am ♪ 248 00:12:44,349 --> 00:12:45,903 ♪ And who can touch a mademoiselle ♪ 249 00:12:45,903 --> 00:12:47,663 ♪ You may be my madam 250 00:12:47,663 --> 00:12:48,940 - Call me madam. 251 00:12:49,976 --> 00:12:51,218 ♪ Pardon me, monsieur. 252 00:12:51,218 --> 00:12:52,702 ♪ I'm from the Morning Star. 253 00:12:52,702 --> 00:12:55,809 ♪ It's evident that you're a man of fame ♪ 254 00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,155 ♪ It's also very clear 255 00:12:57,155 --> 00:12:58,674 ♪ I should know who you are 256 00:12:58,674 --> 00:13:00,952 ♪ But somehow I just can't recall your name ♪ 257 00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:02,782 - What? You don't know who I am? 258 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,025 - What? You don't know who he is? 259 00:13:05,025 --> 00:13:06,786 - No. Who is he? 260 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:07,648 - Shall I tell him? 261 00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:08,995 - Yes! 262 00:13:08,995 --> 00:13:10,375 ♪ I'm the man of the hour 263 00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:11,756 ♪ I'm the man of the year 264 00:13:11,756 --> 00:13:13,413 ♪ I'm the fellow who is known from here ♪ 265 00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:14,655 ♪ To here, to here, to here 266 00:13:14,655 --> 00:13:17,727 ♪ I'm the meaning of debonair 267 00:13:17,727 --> 00:13:20,869 ♪ Who am I? I'm Lucky Pierre 268 00:13:20,869 --> 00:13:22,456 ♪ I am the man of the century 269 00:13:22,456 --> 00:13:23,733 ♪ The man of the age 270 00:13:23,733 --> 00:13:25,287 ♪ Why, my name will be in history ♪ 271 00:13:25,287 --> 00:13:26,806 ♪ On every single bench 272 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,739 ♪ I'm the man who is always there ♪ 273 00:13:29,739 --> 00:13:32,777 ♪ Who am I? I'm Lucky Pierre 274 00:13:32,777 --> 00:13:35,815 ♪ I'm the boy mais oui oui 275 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:40,302 ♪ What a joy to be me 276 00:13:40,302 --> 00:13:41,855 ♪ If you think that I'm bragging ♪ 277 00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:43,270 ♪ If you think that I boast 278 00:13:43,270 --> 00:13:44,789 ♪ Just be quiet and you'll hear them ♪ 279 00:13:44,789 --> 00:13:46,273 ♪ Shout my name from coast to coast ♪ 280 00:13:46,273 --> 00:13:49,311 ♪ And the air could resound in the air ♪ 281 00:13:49,311 --> 00:13:54,109 ♪ Let's prepare for Lucky Pierre ♪ 282 00:13:54,109 --> 00:13:55,351 ♪ No he's not very handsome 283 00:13:55,351 --> 00:13:56,836 ♪ And he's not very strong 284 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,285 ♪ In a cabin in a blizzard 285 00:13:58,285 --> 00:13:59,839 ♪ He's the one you bring along 286 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,738 ♪ He's a kick in a maiden's prayer ♪ 287 00:14:02,738 --> 00:14:05,706 ♪ Who is he? He's Lucky Pierre 288 00:14:05,706 --> 00:14:07,087 ♪ From the banks of the Hudson 289 00:14:07,087 --> 00:14:08,571 ♪ To the banks of the Nile 290 00:14:08,571 --> 00:14:10,056 ♪ Just repeat my name and voila ♪ 291 00:14:10,056 --> 00:14:11,505 ♪ You'll be serviced with a smile ♪ 292 00:14:11,505 --> 00:14:14,646 ♪ From Trafalgar to Herald Square ♪ 293 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:18,719 ♪ Like a bare wheel Lucky Pierre ♪ 294 00:14:26,727 --> 00:14:28,143 - Pierre! 295 00:14:28,143 --> 00:14:29,730 Pierre! 296 00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:31,042 ♪ He's the bee 297 00:14:31,042 --> 00:14:32,630 ♪ We're the flower 298 00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:34,080 ♪ Busy bee 299 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,290 ♪ Lucky flower 300 00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:38,705 ♪ I'm the man of the hour 301 00:14:38,705 --> 00:14:40,155 ♪ I'm the man of the year. 302 00:14:40,155 --> 00:14:41,846 ♪ I am the man that every living husband ♪ 303 00:14:41,846 --> 00:14:43,123 ♪ Has the right to fear. 304 00:14:43,123 --> 00:14:45,298 ♪ In the [singing in foreign language] ♪ 305 00:14:45,298 --> 00:14:46,230 Yes, I am. 306 00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:47,403 Where she is, there I am. 307 00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:51,856 [sings in foreign language] 308 00:14:51,856 --> 00:14:53,237 ♪ Who am I? 309 00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:56,171 ♪ I'm Lucky Pierre 310 00:15:00,313 --> 00:15:05,283 [Penny Candy sung by June Carroll and Company] 311 00:15:09,115 --> 00:15:12,325 ♪ Life has been kind to me 312 00:15:12,325 --> 00:15:14,534 ♪ I've riches enough to buy 313 00:15:14,534 --> 00:15:17,261 ♪ Whatever catches my eye 314 00:15:17,261 --> 00:15:20,540 ♪ But nothing catches my eye 315 00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:22,922 ♪ My appetite has faded 316 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,407 ♪ Alas, the lady's jaded 317 00:15:25,407 --> 00:15:30,170 ♪ When I was a little girl, poor and plain ♪ 318 00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:32,517 ♪ All I asked of life 319 00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:36,936 ♪ Was in this refrain 320 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,352 ♪ Penny candy 321 00:15:39,352 --> 00:15:43,597 ♪ Candy for a penny 322 00:15:43,597 --> 00:15:47,360 ♪ I wish I could still get a kick ♪ 323 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,984 ♪ From a penny peppermint stick ♪ 324 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:54,850 ♪ Or an indigestible gummy hat 325 00:15:54,850 --> 00:15:59,061 ♪ That stuck to my teeth and made me fat ♪ 326 00:15:59,061 --> 00:16:02,030 ♪ Penny candy 327 00:16:02,030 --> 00:16:05,723 ♪ Candy for a penny 328 00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:09,416 ♪ I wish I could bounce a red ball ♪ 329 00:16:09,416 --> 00:16:13,317 ♪ On the brick of a tenement wall ♪ 330 00:16:13,317 --> 00:16:18,322 ♪ And never ask for more at all, at all ♪ 331 00:16:20,876 --> 00:16:24,362 ♪ Candy, candy 332 00:16:24,362 --> 00:16:27,607 ♪ The candy store I could never pass ♪ 333 00:16:27,607 --> 00:16:31,852 ♪ Without pressing my nose against the glass ♪ 334 00:16:31,852 --> 00:16:35,442 ♪ Candy, candy 335 00:16:35,442 --> 00:16:38,652 ♪ And oh how I'd sigh on that collapse ♪ 336 00:16:38,652 --> 00:16:43,657 ♪ For a doll made of sweet chewing wax ♪ 337 00:16:44,279 --> 00:16:47,006 ♪ Penny candy 338 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:51,148 ♪ Candy for a penny 339 00:16:51,148 --> 00:16:55,980 ♪ I ask for more than a penny now ♪ 340 00:16:55,980 --> 00:17:00,916 ♪ I've grown very wise, you see ♪ 341 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,919 ♪ But I wish that a sweet 342 00:17:03,919 --> 00:17:07,957 ♪ Were still fun to eat 343 00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:11,340 ♪ Now a penny's a memory 344 00:17:18,002 --> 00:17:20,108 ♪ Penny candy 345 00:17:20,108 --> 00:17:21,419 ♪ Candy for a penny 346 00:17:21,419 --> 00:17:24,560 ♪ I wish I could still get a kick ♪ 347 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,943 ♪ From a penny peppermint stick ♪ 348 00:17:27,943 --> 00:17:31,636 ♪ Or an indigestible gummy hat 349 00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:35,192 ♪ that stuck to my teeth and made me fat ♪ 350 00:17:35,192 --> 00:17:36,848 ♪ Penny candy 351 00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,540 ♪ Candy for a penny 352 00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:41,681 ♪ I wish I could bounce a red ball ♪ 353 00:17:41,681 --> 00:17:45,374 ♪ On the brick of a tenement wall ♪ 354 00:17:45,374 --> 00:17:50,379 ♪ And never ask for more at all, at all. ♪ 355 00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:55,902 ♪ Candy, candy 356 00:17:55,902 --> 00:17:59,008 ♪ The candy store I could never pass ♪ 357 00:17:59,008 --> 00:18:03,944 ♪ without pressing my nose against the glass ♪ 358 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,646 ♪ Penny candy 359 00:18:15,646 --> 00:18:18,545 ♪ Candy for a penny 360 00:18:18,545 --> 00:18:23,171 ♪ I ask for more than a penny now ♪ 361 00:18:23,171 --> 00:18:28,176 ♪ I've grown very wise, you see ♪ 362 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,351 ♪ But I wish that a sweet 363 00:18:31,351 --> 00:18:35,010 ♪ Were still fun to eat 364 00:18:35,010 --> 00:18:38,358 ♪ By June, by June. 365 00:18:38,358 --> 00:18:41,465 - Gee, you've got your old lady's perfume on? 366 00:18:41,465 --> 00:18:44,226 - Gussy, hey, Gussy, We've got two cents left. 367 00:18:44,226 --> 00:18:46,573 Shall we get a jawbreaker or a licorice whip? 368 00:18:46,573 --> 00:18:48,161 - Well if we get the licorice whips, 369 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:49,473 we can each have one. 370 00:18:49,473 --> 00:18:50,853 - [Other children] How about us? 371 00:18:50,853 --> 00:18:53,891 - And besides, the jawbreakers cost two cents each. 372 00:18:53,891 --> 00:18:55,134 - Well, we can call dibs on it. 373 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,860 I could break my jaw for a while, then your turn. 374 00:18:57,860 --> 00:18:58,689 - Okay. 375 00:18:58,689 --> 00:18:59,621 - Who you hitting? 376 00:18:59,621 --> 00:19:00,725 Look out, you're gonna get hurt. 377 00:19:00,725 --> 00:19:01,726 - Hey, I'm first. 378 00:19:01,726 --> 00:19:04,073 Naturally, it's my two cents. 379 00:19:04,073 --> 00:19:07,111 Hey mister, can we please have a jawbreaker? 380 00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:08,837 But not the white one, we like pink. 381 00:19:08,837 --> 00:19:10,425 But not that one on top, 382 00:19:10,425 --> 00:19:13,531 that one way down there on the bottom. 383 00:19:13,531 --> 00:19:15,671 Whoops! Don't spill them. 384 00:19:15,671 --> 00:19:18,018 [gasping] Nice, shiny, pink one. 385 00:19:18,018 --> 00:19:18,847 Thank you. 386 00:19:21,574 --> 00:19:23,748 It's good, Gussy. 387 00:19:23,748 --> 00:19:26,165 No, it's not your turn yet. 388 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,097 You know what I'm going to be when I grow up? 389 00:19:28,097 --> 00:19:31,273 A movie star, like Nita Nalley. 390 00:19:31,273 --> 00:19:33,448 Momma told me what you're gonna be. 391 00:19:33,448 --> 00:19:34,449 An elephant. 392 00:19:34,449 --> 00:19:36,727 [laughing] 393 00:19:40,075 --> 00:19:43,251 Gee, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Betsy. 394 00:19:43,251 --> 00:19:46,219 Maybe when you grow up, you'll get skinny like a snake. 395 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,463 [laughing] 396 00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:55,608 Don't cry, Betsy, please don't cry. 397 00:19:55,608 --> 00:19:58,749 Here, it's your turn for the jawbreaker. 398 00:19:58,749 --> 00:20:01,752 If you stop crying, you can keep it. 399 00:20:04,824 --> 00:20:06,205 ♪ Penny candy 400 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,862 ♪ Candy for a penny 401 00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:13,867 ♪ I ask for more than a penny now ♪ 402 00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:19,148 ♪ I've grown very wise, you see ♪ 403 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:24,153 ♪ But I wish that a sweet 404 00:20:24,153 --> 00:20:28,813 ♪ Were still fun to eat 405 00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:32,161 ♪ Now a penny, a memory 406 00:20:36,442 --> 00:20:39,168 [dramatic music] 407 00:20:41,136 --> 00:20:43,276 [Boston Beguine sung by Alice Ghostley] 408 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:45,899 ♪ Tropical nights 409 00:20:45,899 --> 00:20:48,592 ♪ Orchids in bloom 410 00:20:48,592 --> 00:20:51,629 ♪ Sultry perfume 411 00:20:51,629 --> 00:20:54,805 ♪ Intrigues and dangers 412 00:20:54,805 --> 00:20:59,188 ♪ With passionate strangers 413 00:20:59,188 --> 00:21:02,261 ♪ I've seen it all 414 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:07,266 ♪ As I recall 415 00:21:11,925 --> 00:21:14,859 ♪ I met him in Boston 416 00:21:14,859 --> 00:21:18,138 ♪ In the native quarter 417 00:21:18,138 --> 00:21:20,934 ♪ He was from Harvard 418 00:21:20,934 --> 00:21:24,144 ♪ Just across the border 419 00:21:24,144 --> 00:21:26,837 ♪ It was a magical night 420 00:21:26,837 --> 00:21:31,842 ♪ With romance everywhere 421 00:21:32,912 --> 00:21:35,397 ♪ There was something in the air ♪ 422 00:21:35,397 --> 00:21:40,402 ♪ There always is in Boston 423 00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:43,267 ♪ We went to the Casbah 424 00:21:43,267 --> 00:21:46,684 ♪ That's an Irish bar there 425 00:21:46,684 --> 00:21:49,687 ♪ The underground hideout 426 00:21:49,687 --> 00:21:52,966 ♪ Of the DAR there 427 00:21:52,966 --> 00:21:55,762 ♪ Something inside of me said 428 00:21:55,762 --> 00:22:00,698 ♪ Watch your heart, mademoiselle ♪ 429 00:22:01,596 --> 00:22:04,944 ♪ And it might be just as well 430 00:22:04,944 --> 00:22:09,949 ♪ To watch your purse in Boston ♪ 431 00:22:12,538 --> 00:22:15,610 ♪ We went to the Common 432 00:22:15,610 --> 00:22:18,578 ♪ That's a pretty park there 433 00:22:18,578 --> 00:22:21,788 ♪ As I remember [laughing nervously] ♪ 434 00:22:21,788 --> 00:22:24,826 ♪ it was pretty dark there 435 00:22:24,826 --> 00:22:27,518 ♪ In this exotic locale 436 00:22:27,518 --> 00:22:32,489 ♪ by a silver lagoon 437 00:22:32,489 --> 00:22:37,183 ♪ underneath a voodoo moon 438 00:22:37,183 --> 00:22:42,188 ♪ We fell asleep in Boston 439 00:22:43,672 --> 00:22:46,572 ♪ That was the story 440 00:22:46,572 --> 00:22:49,575 ♪ Of my one romance there 441 00:22:49,575 --> 00:22:52,819 ♪ Our dream of adventure 442 00:22:52,819 --> 00:22:55,995 ♪ Didn't stand a chance there 443 00:22:55,995 --> 00:22:58,791 ♪ How could we hope to enjoy 444 00:22:58,791 --> 00:23:03,623 ♪ All the pleasures ahead 445 00:23:03,623 --> 00:23:07,075 ♪ When the books we should have read ♪ 446 00:23:07,075 --> 00:23:12,080 ♪ Were all suppressed in Boston ♪ 447 00:23:15,566 --> 00:23:18,189 ♪ Exotic Boston 448 00:23:18,189 --> 00:23:21,227 ♪ Land of the Free 449 00:23:21,227 --> 00:23:24,333 ♪ Home of the Brave 450 00:23:24,333 --> 00:23:27,440 ♪ Home of the Red Sox 451 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,339 ♪ Home of the bean 452 00:23:30,339 --> 00:23:34,413 ♪ And home of the Boston Beguine ♪ 453 00:23:44,975 --> 00:23:47,149 - How does it look? Does he like it? 454 00:23:47,149 --> 00:23:49,807 - It's too dark I can't see him. 455 00:23:53,915 --> 00:23:55,434 Why are you worried? 456 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,884 - Because my father doesn't want me to be an actress. 457 00:23:57,884 --> 00:24:00,162 He's done about everything to try and stop me, 458 00:24:00,162 --> 00:24:01,923 and now I guess he's succeeded. 459 00:24:01,923 --> 00:24:03,131 - What do you mean? 460 00:24:03,131 --> 00:24:05,927 - I have a terrible feeling about the money. 461 00:24:05,927 --> 00:24:07,135 - So don't give the money. 462 00:24:07,135 --> 00:24:08,688 So the show closes. 463 00:24:12,209 --> 00:24:14,349 You still won't go back to Texas. 464 00:24:14,349 --> 00:24:15,764 - You don't know my father. 465 00:24:15,764 --> 00:24:17,007 - Well tell him, 466 00:24:17,007 --> 00:24:18,353 tell him you won't go back. 467 00:24:18,353 --> 00:24:19,768 And why? 468 00:24:19,768 --> 00:24:24,463 Because, because [speaking in foreign language] 469 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,887 - Mr Clary, you better get ready. 470 00:24:37,614 --> 00:24:39,857 - And that's why [air kissing]. 471 00:24:39,857 --> 00:24:40,824 [Love is a Simple Thing sung by Rosemary O'Reilly, 472 00:24:40,824 --> 00:24:42,066 Robert Clary and Eartha Kitt] 473 00:24:42,066 --> 00:24:45,553 ♪ Oh it's right fancy things about love ♪ 474 00:24:45,553 --> 00:24:49,488 ♪ They complicate it so 475 00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:50,454 ♪ Love 476 00:24:50,454 --> 00:24:54,251 [singing in foreign language] 477 00:24:56,495 --> 00:25:01,430 ♪ Love just is I know 478 00:25:04,882 --> 00:25:07,540 ♪ Love is a simple thing. 479 00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,300 ♪ Love is a silver ring 480 00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:11,751 ♪ Shiny as a ribbon bow 481 00:25:11,751 --> 00:25:14,651 ♪ Soft as a quiet snow 482 00:25:14,651 --> 00:25:19,034 ♪ Love is a nursery rhyme 483 00:25:19,034 --> 00:25:23,522 ♪ Oh there's the tick of time 484 00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:25,696 ♪ Love is so many things 485 00:25:25,696 --> 00:25:28,147 ♪ bright as an angel's wings 486 00:25:28,147 --> 00:25:30,080 ♪ gentle as the morning light 487 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,876 ♪ Long as a winter night 488 00:25:32,876 --> 00:25:36,638 ♪ Love makes an old heart sing 489 00:25:36,638 --> 00:25:40,400 ♪ And it fills every empty space ♪ 490 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:45,405 ♪ Love is a warming place 491 00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:51,342 ♪ Love is a simple thing 492 00:25:56,002 --> 00:25:58,660 ♪ Love is a simple thing 493 00:25:58,660 --> 00:26:00,662 ♪ Love is a silver ring 494 00:26:00,662 --> 00:26:03,009 ♪ Shiny as a ribbon bow 495 00:26:03,009 --> 00:26:06,288 ♪ Soft as a quiet snow 496 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,060 ♪ Love 497 00:26:54,060 --> 00:26:56,511 [singing in a foreign language] 498 00:26:56,511 --> 00:26:57,443 ♪ Love 499 00:26:57,443 --> 00:27:01,274 [singing in a foreign language] 500 00:27:55,777 --> 00:27:57,952 ♪ Love is a simple thing 501 00:27:57,952 --> 00:28:01,680 ♪ Love is a breath of spring 502 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:48,657 ♪ Love is a simple thing 503 00:28:48,657 --> 00:28:50,211 ♪ Love is a magic ring 504 00:28:50,211 --> 00:28:51,799 ♪ Bopping as a puppet show 505 00:28:51,799 --> 00:28:53,490 ♪ Bright as a scarlet bow. 506 00:28:53,490 --> 00:28:56,873 ♪ Love is both fun and rain 507 00:28:56,873 --> 00:28:59,945 ♪ Love is a soaring plane 508 00:28:59,945 --> 00:29:01,360 ♪ Love is a pink balloon 509 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:02,810 ♪ Sad as an old buffoon 510 00:29:02,810 --> 00:29:04,639 ♪ Wild as a storm at sea 511 00:29:04,639 --> 00:29:06,261 ♪ Love is sheer insanity 512 00:29:06,261 --> 00:29:09,057 ♪ Love is a touch of spring 513 00:29:09,057 --> 00:29:11,025 ♪ And it gives you a sudden grace ♪ 514 00:29:11,025 --> 00:29:12,612 ♪ Love is a special place 515 00:29:12,612 --> 00:29:16,030 ♪ Love is a simple thing 516 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,076 ♪ Love is a simple thing 517 00:30:02,076 --> 00:30:04,216 ♪ Love is a silver ring 518 00:30:04,216 --> 00:30:08,047 [singing in foreign language] 519 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:13,466 ♪ Love is a touch of spring 520 00:30:13,466 --> 00:30:16,987 ♪ And it gives you a sudden grace ♪ 521 00:30:16,987 --> 00:30:19,472 ♪ Love is a special place 522 00:30:19,472 --> 00:30:22,890 ♪ Love is a simple thing 523 00:30:29,966 --> 00:30:34,763 [He Takes Me Off His Income Tax sung by Virginia Wilson] 524 00:30:34,763 --> 00:30:37,905 ♪ I've been called names by many a bride ♪ 525 00:30:37,905 --> 00:30:41,149 ♪ I admit they cause me pain 526 00:30:41,149 --> 00:30:44,428 ♪ But lately I've been classified ♪ 527 00:30:44,428 --> 00:30:48,122 ♪ As a long-term capital gain 528 00:30:48,122 --> 00:30:49,606 ♪ He takes me off-- 529 00:30:49,606 --> 00:30:50,400 - Now. 530 00:30:53,334 --> 00:30:54,128 - Now? 531 00:30:55,163 --> 00:30:55,957 - Now. 532 00:31:02,757 --> 00:31:05,311 - Ladies and gentlemen, 533 00:31:05,311 --> 00:31:09,246 the next scene is about a famous author 534 00:31:09,246 --> 00:31:12,905 to quote from the jacket of his latest book, 535 00:31:12,905 --> 00:31:15,666 quote, Mr. Kaput is 30 years old, 536 00:31:18,428 --> 00:31:20,637 wears a checkered vest, 537 00:31:20,637 --> 00:31:25,642 has black hair and bangs [giggling], unquote. 538 00:31:28,576 --> 00:31:31,648 [whimsical music] 539 00:31:31,648 --> 00:31:35,721 ♪ He takes me off his income tax ♪ 540 00:31:36,964 --> 00:31:39,587 [upbeat music] 541 00:31:46,628 --> 00:31:47,595 - Hi, y'all. 542 00:31:49,217 --> 00:31:50,978 I just wrote another book, 543 00:31:50,978 --> 00:31:54,705 and I've been aching to tell somebody about it. 544 00:31:54,705 --> 00:31:58,088 I do all the writing right here in this little old ham. 545 00:31:58,088 --> 00:32:02,921 Now the leading character in my book is one Gerald Fenwick. 546 00:32:04,129 --> 00:32:06,648 I was going to have two Gerald Fenwicks, 547 00:32:06,648 --> 00:32:09,582 but there ain't enough women in here to go around as is, 548 00:32:09,582 --> 00:32:11,860 so we leave him alone. 549 00:32:11,860 --> 00:32:14,898 Now Gerald and his mother Beau La Belle 550 00:32:14,898 --> 00:32:19,627 live on the remains of their plantation, Fenwick's Folly. 551 00:32:22,837 --> 00:32:25,771 I like to read a little bit here, 552 00:32:25,771 --> 00:32:28,808 just give you sort of a idea what's happening inside. 553 00:32:28,808 --> 00:32:30,741 [clearing throat] 554 00:32:30,741 --> 00:32:33,503 Gerald decided there was only one thing 555 00:32:33,503 --> 00:32:34,953 to do about the matter 556 00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:38,370 even though the thought of doing anything about anything 557 00:32:38,370 --> 00:32:39,612 filled him with 558 00:32:41,131 --> 00:32:44,824 revulsion and fright and kind of a fear too. 559 00:32:46,895 --> 00:32:50,209 My choice leads in one direction only, he said 560 00:32:50,209 --> 00:32:53,523 and that is to marry Melanie Montecello. 561 00:32:54,938 --> 00:32:59,701 There was something alive about Melanie, something alive. 562 00:32:59,701 --> 00:33:03,809 That's what Gerald could not stand, something alive. 563 00:33:03,809 --> 00:33:07,675 But that night he told his mother of his decision anyway. 564 00:33:07,675 --> 00:33:09,504 There she was in the living room, 565 00:33:09,504 --> 00:33:14,026 rummaging through the mildew contents of old copper trunk. 566 00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:18,410 Mother, said Gerald, I have something to tell you. 567 00:33:18,410 --> 00:33:21,516 I'm gonna marry Melanie Montecello. 568 00:33:21,516 --> 00:33:23,311 Now, don't you be a silly dear, said his mother, 569 00:33:23,311 --> 00:33:24,968 you know she's your sister on your father's side, 570 00:33:24,968 --> 00:33:27,005 so you just shut your mouth. 571 00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:27,902 Shut it up. 572 00:33:29,110 --> 00:33:32,838 Just then, the house gave a slight lurch 573 00:33:32,838 --> 00:33:36,566 as the termites finished with the South wing. 574 00:33:37,429 --> 00:33:38,257 Mm-mm. 575 00:33:41,295 --> 00:33:42,744 Mother, what now? 576 00:33:45,437 --> 00:33:49,130 She smiled softly as she settled slowly 577 00:33:49,130 --> 00:33:52,271 into the trunk for the last time. 578 00:33:52,271 --> 00:33:55,550 And as the lip nipped off the end of her itty butty nose, 579 00:33:55,550 --> 00:33:59,934 she look at her son significantly and she said, ouch. 580 00:34:03,075 --> 00:34:06,320 But I ain't gonna read no more of my book now, 581 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,702 'cause I want you all to buy a copy when it's published 582 00:34:09,702 --> 00:34:11,635 so you could read for yourself. 583 00:34:11,635 --> 00:34:13,016 In the next chapter, 584 00:34:13,016 --> 00:34:15,777 the very strange and decadent, 585 00:34:15,777 --> 00:34:20,575 and even amusing way I picked to get rid of everybody. 586 00:34:20,575 --> 00:34:22,060 Then for 232 pages 587 00:34:24,545 --> 00:34:26,374 there ain't no people. 588 00:34:27,789 --> 00:34:32,070 Uh-oh, before I go I would like to say one thing. 589 00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,382 A lot of literary critics have been telling 590 00:34:34,382 --> 00:34:37,385 you all that I'm a unhealthy author. 591 00:34:38,559 --> 00:34:43,460 I ain't unhealthy, folks [sniffling]. I'm sick. 592 00:34:45,669 --> 00:34:46,946 [Time for Tea sung by June Carroll and Alice Ghostley] 593 00:34:46,946 --> 00:34:49,604 - We were too rich, too beautiful for true love. 594 00:34:49,604 --> 00:34:52,193 That's what mama and papa said. 595 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:55,990 ♪ I wonder if they were right 596 00:34:55,990 --> 00:34:57,647 ♪ Mama is gone 597 00:34:57,647 --> 00:34:59,131 ♪ All but two, 598 00:34:59,131 --> 00:35:03,653 ♪ leaving two little girls with nothing to do ♪ 599 00:35:04,999 --> 00:35:08,347 ♪ Time for tea, time for tea 600 00:35:08,347 --> 00:35:11,523 ♪ Livinia come to tea 601 00:35:11,523 --> 00:35:14,491 ♪ Dusty, dusty tea pot 602 00:35:14,491 --> 00:35:17,149 ♪ You're as old as I 603 00:35:17,149 --> 00:35:20,394 ♪ Can anyone be as old as I? 604 00:35:20,394 --> 00:35:24,122 ♪ They can if they try, they can if they try ♪ 605 00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:27,677 ♪ To be as old as I 606 00:35:27,677 --> 00:35:30,266 ♪ Just live too long with a memory ♪ 607 00:35:30,266 --> 00:35:33,441 ♪ In an empty house and we 608 00:35:33,441 --> 00:35:35,340 ♪ You'll soon be as old as 609 00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:37,065 ♪ Soon be as old as 610 00:35:37,065 --> 00:35:40,379 ♪ Soon be as old as me 611 00:35:40,379 --> 00:35:42,416 ♪ As I 612 00:35:42,416 --> 00:35:47,421 ♪ You'll soon be as old as we 613 00:35:48,180 --> 00:35:49,319 ♪ Poor old house 614 00:35:49,319 --> 00:35:53,081 ♪ Aren't you weary of us? 615 00:35:53,081 --> 00:35:54,876 ♪ We'll never leave you 616 00:35:54,876 --> 00:35:57,016 ♪ Never go out the door 617 00:35:57,016 --> 00:35:58,742 ♪ What for? 618 00:35:58,742 --> 00:36:01,607 ♪ We were born in this house, you know ♪ 619 00:36:01,607 --> 00:36:04,714 ♪ Trillions of years ago 620 00:36:04,714 --> 00:36:08,166 ♪ But just a year apart 621 00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:11,962 ♪ We were constantly taken for twins ♪ 622 00:36:11,962 --> 00:36:16,346 ♪ House you were young then, like us ♪ 623 00:36:16,346 --> 00:36:21,075 ♪ And oh, what beauties we were, we three ♪ 624 00:36:21,075 --> 00:36:24,734 ♪ The house and thee and me 625 00:36:27,323 --> 00:36:30,912 [forlorn trombone] 626 00:36:30,912 --> 00:36:34,226 ♪ Remember our debut 627 00:36:34,226 --> 00:36:37,195 ♪ In 1902 628 00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:40,853 ♪ I was 18 in 1902 629 00:36:40,853 --> 00:36:43,339 ♪ My gown was made in France 630 00:36:43,339 --> 00:36:45,341 ♪ By Patou for the dance 631 00:36:45,341 --> 00:36:46,859 ♪ Mine was from Pace 632 00:36:46,859 --> 00:36:49,034 ♪ with pale pink satin bow 633 00:36:49,034 --> 00:36:52,762 ♪ And silver bells and cockle shells ♪ 634 00:36:52,762 --> 00:36:56,938 ♪ And pretty old maid to the rose ♪ 635 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:08,398 ♪ The musicians played, encore, encore ♪ 636 00:37:08,398 --> 00:37:12,713 ♪ I fairly flew around the ballroom floor ♪ 637 00:37:12,713 --> 00:37:17,718 ♪ But I failed to fall in love that night ♪ 638 00:37:19,133 --> 00:37:23,931 ♪ Though the men were handsome and my head was made ♪ 639 00:37:24,897 --> 00:37:28,004 [dreamy waltz music] 640 00:37:56,688 --> 00:37:59,967 ♪ I never fell in love 641 00:38:18,675 --> 00:38:23,404 ♪ Through the door came John 642 00:38:23,404 --> 00:38:27,891 ♪ And he met me with a smile 643 00:38:27,891 --> 00:38:30,722 ♪ And we waltzed and we waltzed ♪ 644 00:38:30,722 --> 00:38:35,727 ♪ Then we stopped for a while to dream ♪ 645 00:38:36,452 --> 00:38:39,213 [dreamy waltz music] 646 00:39:07,621 --> 00:39:10,348 ♪ John was the man for my heart ♪ 647 00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:13,592 ♪ Though we'd only met to part 648 00:39:13,592 --> 00:39:17,251 ♪ For Papa appeared with a righteous glare ♪ 649 00:39:17,251 --> 00:39:22,256 ♪ He saw us kissing behind the stair ♪ 650 00:39:23,464 --> 00:39:26,398 ♪ And his eyes were as cold as the sea ♪ 651 00:39:26,398 --> 00:39:30,678 ♪ His eyes were as cold as the sea ♪ 652 00:39:30,678 --> 00:39:35,338 ♪ That was the last I saw of John ♪ 653 00:39:35,338 --> 00:39:39,169 ♪ And the last John saw of me 654 00:39:48,834 --> 00:39:53,839 ♪ Remember our debut in 1902 655 00:39:56,117 --> 00:39:59,362 ♪ I never fell in love 656 00:40:05,817 --> 00:40:09,441 - Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. 657 00:40:09,441 --> 00:40:13,894 We were too rich, too beautiful for true love. 658 00:40:13,894 --> 00:40:17,069 That's what mama and papa said. 659 00:40:17,069 --> 00:40:19,417 I wonder if they were right. 660 00:40:20,556 --> 00:40:24,249 ♪ Time for tea, time for tea 661 00:40:24,249 --> 00:40:28,218 ♪ You'll soon be as old as, soon be as old as ♪ 662 00:40:28,218 --> 00:40:31,877 ♪ soon be as old as me 663 00:40:31,877 --> 00:40:33,707 ♪ As I 664 00:40:33,707 --> 00:40:37,538 ♪ You'll soon be as old as we 665 00:40:43,302 --> 00:40:44,511 - Commercial art. 666 00:40:44,511 --> 00:40:46,444 I refuse to paint this. 667 00:40:47,859 --> 00:40:50,689 I can't get alouette out of my mind. 668 00:40:50,689 --> 00:40:54,452 Everybody think that alouette is a girl, 669 00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:56,246 but it's a bird. 670 00:40:56,246 --> 00:40:57,800 You know, when I was a little kid in France, 671 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,388 every day I used to sing about alouette. 672 00:41:00,388 --> 00:41:02,183 Alouette, very kind alouette. 673 00:41:02,183 --> 00:41:04,151 Alouette, I pick you up your feather. 674 00:41:04,151 --> 00:41:05,980 Alouette, very kind alouette, 675 00:41:05,980 --> 00:41:08,120 I pick you up your feather from your head, 676 00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,053 from your eyes, from your beak, 677 00:41:10,053 --> 00:41:12,884 from your neck, from your, from your this, 678 00:41:12,884 --> 00:41:14,161 from your body. 679 00:41:19,753 --> 00:41:23,584 [singing in foreign language] 680 00:43:09,103 --> 00:43:13,211 [Santa Baby sung by Eartha Kitt] 681 00:43:16,248 --> 00:43:21,253 ♪ Santa baby, just slip a Sable under the tree for me ♪ 682 00:43:23,531 --> 00:43:26,949 ♪ Been an awful good girl, Santa baby ♪ 683 00:43:26,949 --> 00:43:31,954 ♪ And hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ 684 00:43:34,370 --> 00:43:39,375 ♪ Santa honey, a 54 convertible too, light blue ♪ 685 00:43:41,204 --> 00:43:44,829 ♪ I'd wait up for you dear Santa baby ♪ 686 00:43:44,829 --> 00:43:49,834 ♪ And hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ 687 00:43:52,319 --> 00:43:56,288 ♪ Think of all the fun I've missed ♪ 688 00:43:56,288 --> 00:44:00,603 ♪ Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed ♪ 689 00:44:00,603 --> 00:44:04,780 ♪ Next year, I could be oh, so good ♪ 690 00:44:04,780 --> 00:44:09,785 ♪ If you check off my Christmas list ♪ 691 00:44:11,269 --> 00:44:14,893 ♪ Santa honey I want a yacht and really that's not a lot ♪ 692 00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:20,658 ♪ Been an angel all year, Santa baby ♪ 693 00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:25,663 ♪ And hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ 694 00:44:27,941 --> 00:44:32,635 ♪ Santa cutie, there's one thing I really do need ♪ 695 00:44:32,635 --> 00:44:37,640 ♪ The deed to a platinum mine, Santa cutie ♪ 696 00:44:38,814 --> 00:44:43,508 ♪ And hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ 697 00:44:45,821 --> 00:44:50,826 ♪ Santa baby and fill my stocking with a duplex and cheques ♪ 698 00:44:52,068 --> 00:44:56,107 ♪ Sign your X on the line, Santa cutie ♪ 699 00:44:56,107 --> 00:45:01,043 ♪ And hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ 700 00:45:03,217 --> 00:45:07,014 ♪ Come and trim my Christmas tree ♪ 701 00:45:07,014 --> 00:45:11,778 ♪ with some decorations bought at Tiffany's ♪ 702 00:45:11,778 --> 00:45:15,609 ♪ I really do believe in you 703 00:45:15,609 --> 00:45:20,614 ♪ Let's see if you believe in me ♪ 704 00:45:22,029 --> 00:45:25,723 ♪ Santa honey, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring ♪ 705 00:45:29,243 --> 00:45:30,900 ♪ I don't mean on the phone, Santa honey ♪ 706 00:45:30,900 --> 00:45:35,905 ♪ And hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ 707 00:45:37,113 --> 00:45:40,634 ♪ Hurry down the chimney tonight ♪ 708 00:45:40,634 --> 00:45:43,292 ♪ Hurry tonight 709 00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:49,954 - Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention? 710 00:45:49,954 --> 00:45:52,094 You are probably quite aware 711 00:45:52,094 --> 00:45:56,201 that the Marquis de Quiver has done it again. 712 00:45:56,201 --> 00:45:59,860 In society's circles, his latest masquerade ball 713 00:45:59,860 --> 00:46:04,071 was rated second only to the crowning of Elizabeth. 714 00:46:04,071 --> 00:46:06,384 Well at great expense and time 715 00:46:06,384 --> 00:46:08,766 we will do this masquerade ball 716 00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:12,079 as a command performance with original music, 717 00:46:12,079 --> 00:46:13,874 lyrics, and choreography. 718 00:46:13,874 --> 00:46:18,223 In other words a musical entitled Waltzing in Venice 719 00:46:19,086 --> 00:46:20,812 or Take off the Mask. 720 00:46:23,573 --> 00:46:26,576 ♪ Waltzing in Venice with you 721 00:46:26,576 --> 00:46:29,545 ♪ Isn't so easy to do 722 00:46:29,545 --> 00:46:32,686 ♪ If you should take one more step and you ought to ♪ 723 00:46:32,686 --> 00:46:36,517 ♪ You will be doing the waltz underwater ♪ 724 00:46:36,517 --> 00:46:39,658 ♪ Oh, what joy forever compare 725 00:46:39,658 --> 00:46:42,420 ♪ With waltzing in Venice with care? ♪ 726 00:46:42,420 --> 00:46:45,078 ♪ What a thrill when the waltz is a fast one ♪ 727 00:46:45,078 --> 00:46:47,735 ♪ Knowing each that they will be your last one ♪ 728 00:46:47,735 --> 00:46:49,634 ♪ More fatiguing than tennis 729 00:46:49,634 --> 00:46:50,877 ♪ Intriguing with Venice 730 00:46:50,877 --> 00:46:54,259 ♪ Is waltzing in Venice with you ♪ 731 00:46:54,259 --> 00:46:57,124 ♪ Waltzing in Venice with you 732 00:46:57,124 --> 00:47:00,196 ♪ Isn't so easy to do 733 00:47:00,196 --> 00:47:03,510 ♪ If you should take one more step than you ought to ♪ 734 00:47:03,510 --> 00:47:07,548 ♪ You will be doing the waltz underwater ♪ 735 00:47:07,548 --> 00:47:10,689 ♪ Oh, what joy would ever compare ♪ 736 00:47:10,689 --> 00:47:13,451 ♪ With waltzing in Venice with care? ♪ 737 00:47:13,451 --> 00:47:16,316 ♪ What a thrill when the waltz is a fast one ♪ 738 00:47:16,316 --> 00:47:18,974 ♪ Knowing each that they will be your last one ♪ 739 00:47:18,974 --> 00:47:20,838 ♪ More fatiguing than tennis 740 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,149 ♪ Intriguing in Venice 741 00:47:22,149 --> 00:47:25,118 ♪ Is waltzing in Venice with you ♪ 742 00:47:25,118 --> 00:47:26,567 - [Everybody] Oh! 743 00:47:32,746 --> 00:47:33,954 ♪ Take off the mask 744 00:47:33,954 --> 00:47:35,335 ♪ Please take off the mask 745 00:47:35,335 --> 00:47:36,923 ♪ I know you 746 00:47:36,923 --> 00:47:38,510 ♪ I'd know you anywhere 747 00:47:38,510 --> 00:47:41,306 ♪ So I ask you take off the mask you wear ♪ 748 00:47:41,306 --> 00:47:42,860 [laughing] 749 00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,723 ♪ Please be fair, won't you lose your a-plumbing ♪ 750 00:47:44,723 --> 00:47:46,139 ♪ Take off the garment 751 00:47:46,139 --> 00:47:48,693 ♪ Oh you're hiding behind 752 00:47:48,693 --> 00:47:49,970 ♪ It's no secret to me 753 00:47:49,970 --> 00:47:52,421 ♪ That you'll turn out to be my ideal ♪ 754 00:47:52,421 --> 00:47:53,871 - Oh! 755 00:47:53,871 --> 00:47:56,943 ♪ For I feel that I've known you in Estonia ♪ 756 00:47:56,943 --> 00:47:58,220 ♪ And I went to bat for you 757 00:47:58,220 --> 00:47:59,635 ♪ Down in Latvia 758 00:47:59,635 --> 00:48:02,465 ♪ All the things I've been to you, in India ♪ 759 00:48:02,465 --> 00:48:05,813 - Oh, India [laughing]. 760 00:48:07,332 --> 00:48:08,264 Oh, well. 761 00:48:08,264 --> 00:48:10,059 ♪ I haven't forgotten 762 00:48:10,059 --> 00:48:13,442 ♪ So please don't be rotten 763 00:48:13,442 --> 00:48:14,719 ♪ And take off your mask 764 00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:18,792 ♪ That's all that I ask you do 765 00:48:18,792 --> 00:48:20,898 ♪ Oh, please take off your false face, ♪ 766 00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:22,865 ♪ And just let me waltz face 767 00:48:22,865 --> 00:48:25,833 ♪ To face with you 768 00:48:25,833 --> 00:48:28,595 ♪ No, no, no, no, you naughty boy ♪ 769 00:48:28,595 --> 00:48:31,149 ♪ Of who you may think me haughty boy ♪ 770 00:48:31,149 --> 00:48:33,841 ♪ I must refuse what you're asking me ♪ 771 00:48:33,841 --> 00:48:38,398 ♪ You must not think of unmasking me ♪ 772 00:48:38,398 --> 00:48:39,882 ♪ Before 12 o' clock 773 00:48:39,882 --> 00:48:42,471 ♪ That is how the day will sleep ♪ 774 00:48:42,471 --> 00:48:44,714 [cackling] 775 00:48:48,235 --> 00:48:52,067 ♪ At the masquerade. 776 00:48:52,067 --> 00:48:53,896 ♪ Yes, yes, yes, yes, you saucy miss ♪ 777 00:48:53,896 --> 00:48:55,173 - No. 778 00:48:55,173 --> 00:48:56,588 ♪ I will be bold and forcing this ♪ 779 00:48:56,588 --> 00:48:57,831 - Easy dear. 780 00:48:57,831 --> 00:48:59,350 ♪ 'Til midnight I don't choose to wait ♪ 781 00:48:59,350 --> 00:49:01,731 ♪ Matter of fact, I refuse to wait ♪ 782 00:49:01,731 --> 00:49:03,009 ♪ So take off your mask 783 00:49:03,009 --> 00:49:07,910 ♪ That's just what I'm going to do ♪ 784 00:49:08,669 --> 00:49:09,947 ♪ Put back the mask 785 00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:10,948 ♪ That's all that I ask you to do ♪ 786 00:49:10,948 --> 00:49:13,778 [laughing and cheering] 787 00:49:13,778 --> 00:49:15,435 ♪ But put back the false face 788 00:49:15,435 --> 00:49:20,440 ♪ Or no one will waltz face to face with you ♪ 789 00:49:26,929 --> 00:49:28,275 - Oh, I hope was all right. 790 00:49:28,275 --> 00:49:29,725 You think they liked it, though? 791 00:49:29,725 --> 00:49:32,348 - Virgina, your father wants to see you out there. 792 00:49:32,348 --> 00:49:33,177 - Oh. 793 00:49:39,424 --> 00:49:41,668 - Oh Mr. Clayborn, wait until you see Virginia 794 00:49:41,668 --> 00:49:43,083 in the last half of the show. 795 00:49:43,083 --> 00:49:44,878 - That's fine, fine. 796 00:49:44,878 --> 00:49:46,466 That's what I'll do. 797 00:49:46,466 --> 00:49:50,194 - But the man's uh, waiting for his money, and I thought-- 798 00:49:50,194 --> 00:49:52,990 - Well, tell him he'll just have to wait for it. 799 00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:55,164 - Ronny's been so wonderful to me, Dad. 800 00:49:55,164 --> 00:49:56,614 Please give him the money now. 801 00:49:56,614 --> 00:49:58,236 You see, I promised him you would. 802 00:49:58,236 --> 00:50:00,169 - Virginia, I've told you right along 803 00:50:00,169 --> 00:50:01,791 that before I give you all the money, 804 00:50:01,791 --> 00:50:03,793 I have to see all the show. 805 00:50:03,793 --> 00:50:05,140 - But you don't understand. 806 00:50:05,140 --> 00:50:07,280 - Oh, I understand very well, my dear. 807 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:09,454 I'm more anxious about your, 808 00:50:09,454 --> 00:50:12,009 your career than you are. 809 00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:13,458 - I appreciate how you feel, sir. 810 00:50:13,458 --> 00:50:16,254 But you see, I promised the man he'd have his money 811 00:50:16,254 --> 00:50:17,807 before showtime and-- 812 00:50:17,807 --> 00:50:19,775 - I'll come back before the show's over 813 00:50:19,775 --> 00:50:22,226 and don't worry about the money, son. 814 00:50:22,226 --> 00:50:24,193 A Texan never breaks his word. 815 00:50:24,193 --> 00:50:27,438 It's just a matter of good business, that's all. 816 00:50:27,438 --> 00:50:28,991 Right? 817 00:50:28,991 --> 00:50:31,545 - Yes, sir. That's right. 818 00:50:31,545 --> 00:50:33,202 - Our program, Monsieur Clayborn. 819 00:50:33,202 --> 00:50:36,826 - Oh, thank you very much, sonny. 820 00:50:36,826 --> 00:50:39,036 [knocking] 821 00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:49,046 [light dance music] 822 00:55:57,077 --> 00:55:59,666 - Girls? The trip of the month club 823 00:55:59,666 --> 00:56:03,429 is very happy to announce that last month's prize winner 824 00:56:03,429 --> 00:56:05,292 is here with us today. 825 00:56:05,292 --> 00:56:07,571 And I'm sure that Mr. Kanker 826 00:56:07,571 --> 00:56:10,436 has a very interesting story to tell us 827 00:56:10,436 --> 00:56:15,441 about his prize-winning pleasure trip to darkest Africa. 828 00:56:16,062 --> 00:56:16,614 Mr. Kanker. 829 00:56:20,825 --> 00:56:23,483 [African drums] 830 00:56:25,140 --> 00:56:27,625 - Who la, la, ba, ba, America. 831 00:56:32,216 --> 00:56:34,391 Who va, va, la, la Africa. 832 00:56:38,878 --> 00:56:40,051 Hello, America. 833 00:56:40,051 --> 00:56:41,294 Hello, America. 834 00:56:41,294 --> 00:56:42,847 Africa says hello. 835 00:56:42,847 --> 00:56:45,091 [laughing] 836 00:56:46,299 --> 00:56:48,128 I've just come from Africa 837 00:56:48,128 --> 00:56:52,305 and I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you 838 00:56:52,305 --> 00:56:56,620 who are responsible for my being sent to the Congo. 839 00:56:56,620 --> 00:57:00,417 Your generous donations far exceeded anything 840 00:57:00,417 --> 00:57:03,696 my late wife or I anticipated. 841 00:57:03,696 --> 00:57:06,284 And the only way I know 842 00:57:06,284 --> 00:57:10,944 of really showing my thanks for those four swell days 843 00:57:10,944 --> 00:57:15,604 is to share with you some of the highlights of our trip. 844 00:57:18,849 --> 00:57:20,713 Just keep your seats. 845 00:57:20,713 --> 00:57:23,578 I'm going to be all right. 846 00:57:23,578 --> 00:57:27,513 One of them cobra snakes struck me right between the eyes. 847 00:57:27,513 --> 00:57:29,169 You know how that feels. 848 00:57:29,169 --> 00:57:30,516 The doctor would've take a look at it, 849 00:57:30,516 --> 00:57:32,794 but I'm set on finishing this tour. 850 00:57:32,794 --> 00:57:36,211 So just been taking aspirins and doping a little. 851 00:57:36,211 --> 00:57:39,732 There are several approaches to the jungle. 852 00:57:39,732 --> 00:57:41,975 My wife and I tried them all. 853 00:57:41,975 --> 00:57:44,461 But we found being dropped from a plane 854 00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:46,152 the most satisfactory. 855 00:57:46,152 --> 00:57:49,155 Although our guide had trouble with his parachute jumping 856 00:57:49,155 --> 00:57:50,743 and broke both his ankles. 857 00:57:50,743 --> 00:57:53,193 [laughing] 858 00:57:53,193 --> 00:57:55,989 But guides are a dime a dozen down there 859 00:57:55,989 --> 00:57:58,923 and we got us another guide right away. 860 00:57:58,923 --> 00:58:02,893 The safari was there already waiting for us when we jumped 861 00:58:02,893 --> 00:58:05,482 and they all began yelling and throwing 862 00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:08,174 flowers and fruit at us. 863 00:58:08,174 --> 00:58:10,728 Made you feel warm all over. 864 00:58:10,728 --> 00:58:13,213 After an hour or so of this tomfoolery, 865 00:58:13,213 --> 00:58:14,905 we hit out on the trail. 866 00:58:14,905 --> 00:58:16,769 Our destination for that first day 867 00:58:16,769 --> 00:58:19,012 was the source of the Nile. 868 00:58:19,012 --> 00:58:24,017 The longest and I might add the dirtiest river in the world. 869 00:58:24,742 --> 00:58:26,123 Oh, but it was stinking. 870 00:58:26,123 --> 00:58:28,850 Our packed mules would fall down and play dead 871 00:58:28,850 --> 00:58:30,783 when it came time to water them. 872 00:58:30,783 --> 00:58:33,544 It gets dark fairly early in the jungle. 873 00:58:33,544 --> 00:58:36,858 We pitched camp about a quarter after four. 874 00:58:36,858 --> 00:58:40,482 In spite of the stench, I slept like a top. 875 00:58:40,482 --> 00:58:43,312 The jungle air is wonderful for sleeping, 876 00:58:43,312 --> 00:58:48,317 so you want to take along plenty of blankets and guns. 877 00:58:49,491 --> 00:58:51,355 The next morning was one of those mornings 878 00:58:51,355 --> 00:58:54,703 when you hear the screech of the orangutan, 879 00:58:54,703 --> 00:58:56,740 the roar of the lion, 880 00:58:56,740 --> 00:58:58,811 and the trees were full of 881 00:58:58,811 --> 00:59:02,539 beautifully colored birds and snakes. 882 00:59:02,539 --> 00:59:04,989 Rembrandt couldn't have captured that beauty. 883 00:59:04,989 --> 00:59:06,163 It was one of those mornings 884 00:59:06,163 --> 00:59:08,683 you feel like just running around barefoot. 885 00:59:08,683 --> 00:59:11,064 Now, we'd only been tramping on the trail 886 00:59:11,064 --> 00:59:13,550 about four or five hours. 887 00:59:13,550 --> 00:59:16,069 And my wife began to complain of her feet. 888 00:59:16,069 --> 00:59:17,692 The only shoes she had with her 889 00:59:17,692 --> 00:59:19,901 were those high heeled sling pumps. 890 00:59:19,901 --> 00:59:20,833 [laughing] 891 00:59:20,833 --> 00:59:22,973 Well, she just couldn't take it. 892 00:59:22,973 --> 00:59:25,976 So we had to leave her there out on the trail. 893 00:59:25,976 --> 00:59:28,288 Couple of days later on the way back, 894 00:59:28,288 --> 00:59:30,912 I found this piece of her dress, 895 00:59:30,912 --> 00:59:33,052 along with her purse, and gloves. 896 00:59:33,052 --> 00:59:35,192 And to this day, I don't know what happened to her. 897 00:59:35,192 --> 00:59:37,470 [laughing] 898 00:59:39,023 --> 00:59:41,888 But what I really remember about that day was 899 00:59:41,888 --> 00:59:44,650 it was the only day it didn't rain 900 00:59:44,650 --> 00:59:47,860 and I got to take some dandy snapshots. 901 00:59:47,860 --> 00:59:50,276 They're not quite as good as I'd like to have them, 902 00:59:50,276 --> 00:59:53,728 but I lost the negatives when I was washed over a waterfall. 903 00:59:53,728 --> 00:59:55,488 Now, I'm sorry. 904 00:59:55,488 --> 01:00:00,286 As you can see, this first picture is a little blurred. 905 01:00:00,286 --> 01:00:02,564 But while I was taking the picture, 906 01:00:02,564 --> 01:00:06,016 I got pretty badly gored by a rhinoceros. 907 01:00:06,016 --> 01:00:08,259 [laughing] 908 01:00:08,259 --> 01:00:10,365 That layed me up for a couple of days. 909 01:00:10,365 --> 01:00:13,713 Luckily though, luckily though, two women missionaries 910 01:00:13,713 --> 01:00:15,370 pulled me through that scrape. 911 01:00:15,370 --> 01:00:18,338 I guess they had gotten gored once or twice themselves. 912 01:00:18,338 --> 01:00:20,893 So I supposed they knew what to do. 913 01:00:20,893 --> 01:00:24,517 This next picture is a picture of a chief 914 01:00:24,517 --> 01:00:26,726 of a friendly native tribe. 915 01:00:28,279 --> 01:00:31,489 There aren't too many friendly tribes in Africa. 916 01:00:31,489 --> 01:00:34,976 In fact, this is the only our bunch ran into. 917 01:00:34,976 --> 01:00:37,737 Most of them get a little out of hand 918 01:00:37,737 --> 01:00:40,222 when you run out of trinkets for them. 919 01:00:40,222 --> 01:00:42,569 Especially them head-shrinkers. 920 01:00:42,569 --> 01:00:45,711 Say they really become sassy. 921 01:00:45,711 --> 01:00:47,160 ...Hat on you talk to them. 922 01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:50,129 [laughing] 923 01:00:50,129 --> 01:00:54,443 They'll say, say I can see my time's running out here. 924 01:00:54,443 --> 01:00:57,999 What I've tried to do is tell and show you 925 01:00:57,999 --> 01:00:59,656 some of the things about Africa 926 01:00:59,656 --> 01:01:02,624 that aren't in the travel folders. 927 01:01:02,624 --> 01:01:05,972 It isn't the nicest place in the world. 928 01:01:05,972 --> 01:01:09,148 No, wait a minute, I won't say that. 929 01:01:09,148 --> 01:01:10,321 I'll say this, 930 01:01:11,668 --> 01:01:15,464 I don't believe I'd recommend it for the whole family. 931 01:01:15,464 --> 01:01:17,708 If the children don't hunt, 932 01:01:19,192 --> 01:01:21,919 there really isn't too much for them. 933 01:01:21,919 --> 01:01:23,265 Thank you. 934 01:01:23,265 --> 01:01:25,992 [African drums] 935 01:01:25,992 --> 01:01:30,687 [Raining Memories sung by Robert Clary] 936 01:01:41,628 --> 01:01:46,633 ♪ It's raining memories 937 01:01:48,049 --> 01:01:52,363 ♪ I don't need a weatherman to tell me that ♪ 938 01:01:52,363 --> 01:01:57,334 ♪ It's raining memories 939 01:01:58,266 --> 01:02:01,510 ♪ And it's also raining rain 940 01:02:01,510 --> 01:02:02,788 ♪ Just look at my heart 941 01:02:02,788 --> 01:02:07,793 ♪ It rained the day that I found you ♪ 942 01:02:10,071 --> 01:02:13,453 ♪ Waiting for a cross-town bus 943 01:02:13,453 --> 01:02:18,458 ♪ It rained the night that I lost you ♪ 944 01:02:20,460 --> 01:02:23,774 ♪ The gods were playing house on fire with us ♪ 945 01:02:23,774 --> 01:02:28,779 ♪ It's raining memories 946 01:02:29,953 --> 01:02:34,371 ♪ Memories of days when you and I were one ♪ 947 01:02:34,371 --> 01:02:39,376 ♪ It's raining memories 948 01:02:40,549 --> 01:02:44,691 ♪ And it's also raining like a son of a gun ♪ 949 01:02:45,865 --> 01:02:50,387 ♪ Romance is just an empty fizzle ♪ 950 01:02:51,802 --> 01:02:56,082 ♪ In it's grip I'm a drip in a dreary drizzle ♪ 951 01:02:57,014 --> 01:03:00,397 ♪ Raining memories on me 952 01:03:05,712 --> 01:03:07,197 [peaceful music] 953 01:03:07,197 --> 01:03:09,302 [typing] 954 01:03:20,382 --> 01:03:23,040 [ominous music] 955 01:03:49,032 --> 01:03:52,035 [traditional music] 956 01:04:54,787 --> 01:04:56,858 [typing] 957 01:05:11,459 --> 01:05:14,462 [traditional music] 958 01:05:27,371 --> 01:05:30,443 - You know, he was late today. 959 01:05:30,443 --> 01:05:31,720 [Uska Dara sung by Eartha Kitt] 960 01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:35,655 [singing in foreign language] 961 01:06:59,532 --> 01:07:02,570 - You know in the old days in Turkey, 962 01:07:04,779 --> 01:07:08,162 they say many women had male secretaries. 963 01:07:15,065 --> 01:07:16,411 Oh, those Turks. 964 01:07:18,862 --> 01:07:21,899 ♪ He takes me off his income tax ♪ 965 01:07:21,899 --> 01:07:25,110 ♪ But after his taxes in 53 966 01:07:25,110 --> 01:07:28,216 ♪ He used to have a secretary and a yacht ♪ 967 01:07:28,216 --> 01:07:31,530 ♪ Now he's left with just a wife and an old tee-pee ♪ 968 01:07:31,530 --> 01:07:32,876 ♪ He takes me off-- 969 01:07:32,876 --> 01:07:33,877 - Stop. Ooh. 970 01:07:37,467 --> 01:07:39,986 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 971 01:07:39,986 --> 01:07:44,750 an exclusive about a boy who fell in love with guess who? 972 01:07:48,167 --> 01:07:49,030 Hmm. 973 01:07:53,552 --> 01:07:57,728 ♪ He takes me off his income tax ♪ 974 01:07:57,728 --> 01:07:59,213 Well, how am I doing? 975 01:07:59,213 --> 01:08:00,628 - Great, just great. 976 01:08:00,628 --> 01:08:02,802 But what's the good if the show has to close? 977 01:08:02,802 --> 01:08:04,908 Do you think you'll get the rest of the money? 978 01:08:04,908 --> 01:08:05,874 [I'm in Love With Miss Logan sung by Robert Clary] 979 01:08:05,874 --> 01:08:07,462 ♪ What's the matter with me? 980 01:08:07,462 --> 01:08:09,740 ♪ What's the matter with me? 981 01:08:09,740 --> 01:08:13,951 ♪ School has let out and it's way after three ♪ 982 01:08:13,951 --> 01:08:18,335 ♪ But I'm sitting here with my chin on my knee ♪ 983 01:08:18,335 --> 01:08:23,133 ♪ Say what is the matter with me? ♪ 984 01:08:23,133 --> 01:08:28,104 ♪ I should be at home and I want to go home ♪ 985 01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:33,039 ♪ But I know darn well I'm not gonna go home ♪ 986 01:08:33,039 --> 01:08:37,768 ♪ So I just sit here with my chin on my knee ♪ 987 01:08:37,768 --> 01:08:42,325 ♪ What the heck is the matter with me? ♪ 988 01:08:42,325 --> 01:08:46,674 ♪ Why, if the gang saw me sitting like this ♪ 989 01:08:46,674 --> 01:08:51,057 ♪ They'd think I was waiting for some girl ♪ 990 01:08:51,057 --> 01:08:52,576 ♪ So what if they saw me? 991 01:08:52,576 --> 01:08:55,579 ♪ They couldn't here harm me 992 01:08:55,579 --> 01:09:00,550 ♪ 'Cause I'm not waiting for any girl ♪ 993 01:09:01,723 --> 01:09:05,969 ♪ Then what am I waiting here for? ♪ 994 01:09:07,143 --> 01:09:11,043 ♪ Then why am I watching the door? ♪ 995 01:09:14,288 --> 01:09:17,739 ♪ I'm in love, I'm in love, 996 01:09:17,739 --> 01:09:22,744 ♪ I'm in love with Miss Logan. 997 01:09:24,194 --> 01:09:26,127 ♪ I'm in love, I'm in love 998 01:09:26,127 --> 01:09:31,132 ♪ I'm in love with Miss Logan 999 01:09:32,306 --> 01:09:34,239 ♪ Though I still hate arithmetic ♪ 1000 01:09:34,239 --> 01:09:36,172 ♪ I'll pass arithmetic 1001 01:09:36,172 --> 01:09:41,177 ♪ As long as Miss Logan is teaching arithmetic ♪ 1002 01:09:42,074 --> 01:09:45,181 ♪ I'm in love with Miss Logan 1003 01:09:45,181 --> 01:09:50,186 ♪ and I wish, I wish I was not 1004 01:09:51,359 --> 01:09:54,397 ♪ I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love ♪ 1005 01:09:54,397 --> 01:09:58,194 ♪ That's my slogan 1006 01:09:58,194 --> 01:10:01,783 ♪ With an angel who flies up above ♪ 1007 01:10:01,783 --> 01:10:05,477 ♪ That's Miss Logan 1008 01:10:05,477 --> 01:10:07,789 ♪ Though the study of history 1009 01:10:07,789 --> 01:10:10,344 ♪ Still is a mystery 1010 01:10:10,344 --> 01:10:11,862 ♪ She teaches history 1011 01:10:11,862 --> 01:10:15,521 ♪ I learn my history 1012 01:10:15,521 --> 01:10:18,628 ♪ I'm in love with Miss Logan 1013 01:10:18,628 --> 01:10:22,459 ♪ And I hope nobody finds out 1014 01:10:24,392 --> 01:10:26,739 [whistling] 1015 01:10:41,375 --> 01:10:46,345 ♪ Though I don't even know the first name ♪ 1016 01:10:47,312 --> 01:10:51,764 ♪ Of Miss Logan 1017 01:10:51,764 --> 01:10:55,458 ♪ I'm in love, I'm in love just the same ♪ 1018 01:10:55,458 --> 01:10:59,082 ♪ With Miss Logan 1019 01:10:59,082 --> 01:11:01,636 ♪ Every school day I speak at her ♪ 1020 01:11:01,636 --> 01:11:03,604 ♪ Five days a week at her 1021 01:11:03,604 --> 01:11:08,609 ♪ Yet here I sit waiting for one more peek at her ♪ 1022 01:11:12,095 --> 01:11:15,236 ♪ I'm in love with Miss Logan 1023 01:11:15,236 --> 01:11:18,860 ♪ And I wish that she'd hurry up ♪ 1024 01:11:18,860 --> 01:11:21,035 - Oh, hello Andre. 1025 01:11:21,035 --> 01:11:22,312 - Hello, Miss Logan. 1026 01:11:22,312 --> 01:11:23,589 - Are you waiting for someone? 1027 01:11:23,589 --> 01:11:24,763 - No, mademoiselle. 1028 01:11:24,763 --> 01:11:26,178 - Everybody's gone home. 1029 01:11:26,178 --> 01:11:27,386 I'm the last one. 1030 01:11:27,386 --> 01:11:28,387 - I know, ma'am. 1031 01:11:28,387 --> 01:11:29,319 - Did you want to see me? 1032 01:11:29,319 --> 01:11:30,631 - Oh, no ma'am! 1033 01:11:30,631 --> 01:11:33,392 - Andre, is there anything wrong? 1034 01:11:34,462 --> 01:11:35,808 - No, ma'am. 1035 01:11:35,808 --> 01:11:37,154 - Are you sure? 1036 01:11:37,154 --> 01:11:38,432 - Yes, ma'am. 1037 01:11:38,432 --> 01:11:40,434 - All right, then. 1038 01:11:40,434 --> 01:11:41,400 Coming, Andre? 1039 01:11:41,400 --> 01:11:42,367 - No, ma'am. 1040 01:11:42,367 --> 01:11:43,126 - Andre-- - Mary. 1041 01:11:43,126 --> 01:11:44,161 - Darling. 1042 01:11:44,161 --> 01:11:45,370 - Sorry I'm late. 1043 01:11:45,370 --> 01:11:48,545 - Please, not in front of the little boy. 1044 01:11:49,615 --> 01:11:51,030 Goodnight, Andre. 1045 01:11:51,030 --> 01:11:52,929 See you tomorrow. 1046 01:11:52,929 --> 01:11:55,449 He's a funny little fella. 1047 01:11:55,449 --> 01:11:56,519 Sweet though. 1048 01:12:10,843 --> 01:12:15,848 ♪ If there's one person that I don't love ♪ 1049 01:12:16,884 --> 01:12:21,095 ♪ It's Miss Logan 1050 01:12:21,095 --> 01:12:25,513 ♪ If there's one person that I'd like to show ♪ 1051 01:12:25,513 --> 01:12:29,448 ♪ It's Miss Logan 1052 01:12:29,448 --> 01:12:32,278 ♪ She could talk to me, sing to me ♪ 1053 01:12:32,278 --> 01:12:34,419 ♪ Candy box bring to me 1054 01:12:34,419 --> 01:12:36,697 ♪ Hold me and cling to me 1055 01:12:36,697 --> 01:12:40,425 ♪ Don't mean a thing to me 1056 01:12:40,425 --> 01:12:43,945 ♪ I don't love old Miss Logan 1057 01:12:43,945 --> 01:12:47,949 ♪ and I wish, I wish I was dead ♪ 1058 01:12:49,088 --> 01:12:52,506 - Harry the heel, notorious pickpocket, 1059 01:12:52,506 --> 01:12:54,611 believed seen in local area. 1060 01:12:54,611 --> 01:12:58,028 [dramatic ominous music] 1061 01:13:16,668 --> 01:13:17,634 - Hello, Harry. 1062 01:13:17,634 --> 01:13:18,463 - Hello, May. 1063 01:13:18,463 --> 01:13:19,325 - You look tired. 1064 01:13:19,325 --> 01:13:20,534 How'd it go today? 1065 01:13:20,534 --> 01:13:22,605 - Oh, what's the sense in talking. 1066 01:13:22,605 --> 01:13:25,504 The little man ain't got a chance. 1067 01:13:25,504 --> 01:13:27,126 Today in order to get some place, 1068 01:13:27,126 --> 01:13:28,714 you got to be a big operator. 1069 01:13:28,714 --> 01:13:29,853 - What happened, Harry? 1070 01:13:29,853 --> 01:13:31,372 - I made $8. 1071 01:13:31,372 --> 01:13:33,926 Is this what a man should bring home to his wife? 1072 01:13:33,926 --> 01:13:36,688 May, I'm 53 years old, I made $8. 1073 01:13:39,138 --> 01:13:41,727 And I was darn lucky to make that. 1074 01:13:41,727 --> 01:13:43,522 Thank goodness there was the parade today, 1075 01:13:43,522 --> 01:13:45,697 or I might've end up with a lousy two bucks. 1076 01:13:45,697 --> 01:13:47,595 - Then you made $6 at the parade, huh? 1077 01:13:47,595 --> 01:13:49,079 Tell me about it. 1078 01:13:49,079 --> 01:13:50,564 - Well there were a lot of cops around and I was nervous. 1079 01:13:50,564 --> 01:13:52,600 May, something's happening to me. 1080 01:13:52,600 --> 01:13:56,777 I'm getting so I can't pick pockets when cops are around. 1081 01:13:56,777 --> 01:13:58,088 I was never like that, was I May? 1082 01:13:58,088 --> 01:13:59,365 - No Harry, you were never like that. 1083 01:13:59,365 --> 01:14:00,574 - Tell me I was never like that. 1084 01:14:00,574 --> 01:14:01,747 - You were never like that, Harry. 1085 01:14:01,747 --> 01:14:03,162 - I was never like that. 1086 01:14:03,162 --> 01:14:05,441 - You were never like that. 1087 01:14:07,339 --> 01:14:10,135 - I was never like that. 1088 01:14:10,135 --> 01:14:11,481 By the way, where's the kid? 1089 01:14:11,481 --> 01:14:12,931 - Oh, he's around. 1090 01:14:12,931 --> 01:14:14,173 - Around where? 1091 01:14:14,173 --> 01:14:17,418 - Well, he just went down to the corner to, 1092 01:14:17,418 --> 01:14:18,661 he's down in the playground 1093 01:14:18,661 --> 01:14:20,490 playing baseball with the other boys. 1094 01:14:20,490 --> 01:14:21,353 - Baseball? 1095 01:14:21,353 --> 01:14:22,561 - Harry. 1096 01:14:22,561 --> 01:14:23,942 - This is how a boy amounts to something? 1097 01:14:23,942 --> 01:14:26,634 This is where my teaching and training go? 1098 01:14:26,634 --> 01:14:30,466 Wasted always to the boy that takes a bat in his hand, 1099 01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:33,158 and smashes his father's hopes and dreams? 1100 01:14:33,158 --> 01:14:34,470 - Come on, eat your spaghetti, Harry. 1101 01:14:34,470 --> 01:14:35,574 It's getting cold. 1102 01:14:35,574 --> 01:14:37,127 - May, this country's going insane. 1103 01:14:37,127 --> 01:14:39,440 All a boy thinks of becoming a Joe Dimaggio. 1104 01:14:39,440 --> 01:14:40,683 - Sit down, Harry. 1105 01:14:40,683 --> 01:14:43,271 - I talk to him and he doesn't listen to me. 1106 01:14:43,271 --> 01:14:44,445 May, I failed, 1107 01:14:45,653 --> 01:14:47,241 I failed as a father. 1108 01:14:47,241 --> 01:14:48,069 - No, Harry. 1109 01:14:48,069 --> 01:14:49,415 And he won't fail you. 1110 01:14:49,415 --> 01:14:51,245 He's got your blood in him. 1111 01:14:51,245 --> 01:14:53,281 - I'm not a well man. 1112 01:14:53,281 --> 01:14:54,766 I'm not a well man. 1113 01:14:54,766 --> 01:14:55,594 - Hello, mom. 1114 01:14:55,594 --> 01:14:56,457 Hiya, dad. 1115 01:14:58,286 --> 01:14:59,909 - You're not ashamed to say hello to your father? 1116 01:14:59,909 --> 01:15:01,531 - No, I'm not ashamed, am I mom? 1117 01:15:01,531 --> 01:15:02,981 How are you dad? 1118 01:15:02,981 --> 01:15:04,879 - You're not ashamed to waste your time in playgrounds 1119 01:15:04,879 --> 01:15:06,778 when you should be learning your craft? 1120 01:15:06,778 --> 01:15:08,020 Why, when I was your age, 1121 01:15:08,020 --> 01:15:10,298 I was breaking into candy stores already. 1122 01:15:10,298 --> 01:15:11,507 - Why's he gotta holler? 1123 01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:12,818 - You're no good! 1124 01:15:12,818 --> 01:15:14,337 You're well liked. 1125 01:15:15,303 --> 01:15:17,029 Stanley, I'm your father. 1126 01:15:17,029 --> 01:15:19,066 And believe me I know what's best for you. 1127 01:15:19,066 --> 01:15:20,239 I'll help you, I'll teach you. 1128 01:15:20,239 --> 01:15:21,068 Stanley? 1129 01:15:21,896 --> 01:15:23,449 All I've got. 1130 01:15:23,449 --> 01:15:25,037 Don't you ever want to become a criminal? 1131 01:15:25,037 --> 01:15:26,522 - Sure, dad. 1132 01:15:26,522 --> 01:15:29,490 - Then in the name of Dillinger, why don't you listen to me? 1133 01:15:29,490 --> 01:15:30,733 - Because you holler. 1134 01:15:30,733 --> 01:15:32,907 - Stanley, I know how hard it is to start. 1135 01:15:32,907 --> 01:15:35,047 I'm not asking you to do impossible things. 1136 01:15:35,047 --> 01:15:37,256 Begin at the bottom, start small. 1137 01:15:37,256 --> 01:15:40,950 Put slugs into paid telephones, steal at school, 1138 01:15:40,950 --> 01:15:43,055 punch your buddy in the mouth. 1139 01:15:43,055 --> 01:15:45,023 - Stanley, listen to your father. 1140 01:15:45,023 --> 01:15:46,024 - Sure, dad. 1141 01:15:46,887 --> 01:15:48,405 - Hey, hey. 1142 01:15:48,405 --> 01:15:51,581 That reminds me, this is the end of the term isn't it? 1143 01:15:51,581 --> 01:15:52,548 - Uh-huh. 1144 01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:54,308 - OK, where's your report card? 1145 01:15:54,308 --> 01:15:55,551 - I, I lost it. 1146 01:15:57,932 --> 01:15:58,899 - Show your father your report card? 1147 01:15:58,899 --> 01:16:00,141 - No, I won't. 1148 01:16:00,141 --> 01:16:01,246 - Come on, give me the report card! 1149 01:16:01,246 --> 01:16:02,419 - No, I won't! 1150 01:16:04,111 --> 01:16:05,561 - All right. 1151 01:16:05,561 --> 01:16:07,873 I guess there comes a time in every boy's life 1152 01:16:07,873 --> 01:16:09,565 when he thinks he can lick his father. 1153 01:16:09,565 --> 01:16:12,291 You think that time has come, I'd like to know about it. 1154 01:16:12,291 --> 01:16:13,120 - Harry. 1155 01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:14,639 - May. 1156 01:16:14,639 --> 01:16:15,501 May. 1157 01:16:16,364 --> 01:16:18,056 Thinking whip your old man, huh? 1158 01:16:18,056 --> 01:16:19,782 The old man is not as old as you think, son. 1159 01:16:19,782 --> 01:16:20,610 Come on, son. 1160 01:16:20,610 --> 01:16:21,473 - Ah! 1161 01:16:21,473 --> 01:16:22,301 - May! 1162 01:16:23,717 --> 01:16:25,719 Why won't the boy listen to me? 1163 01:16:25,719 --> 01:16:28,100 - Stanley, show your report card to your father. 1164 01:16:28,100 --> 01:16:29,274 - Oh, I hate it, Dad. 1165 01:16:29,274 --> 01:16:31,310 Gee, I wish you wouldn't look at it I-- 1166 01:16:31,310 --> 01:16:32,518 - A? 1167 01:16:32,518 --> 01:16:33,312 - I'm sorry. 1168 01:16:33,312 --> 01:16:34,279 - B+? 1169 01:16:34,279 --> 01:16:35,176 - Dad, I tried to make them-- 1170 01:16:35,176 --> 01:16:36,005 - A? 1171 01:16:36,005 --> 01:16:37,247 - I mean it. 1172 01:16:37,247 --> 01:16:40,319 - [Harry] B+, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A. 1173 01:17:01,962 --> 01:17:04,136 - You're killing that man. 1174 01:17:05,931 --> 01:17:09,521 That's a sick man, pay attention. 1175 01:17:09,521 --> 01:17:11,281 Oh Stanley, follow in his footsteps, 1176 01:17:11,281 --> 01:17:13,111 or you'll put your father in his grave. 1177 01:17:13,111 --> 01:17:14,526 Stanley, Stanley. 1178 01:17:16,424 --> 01:17:20,463 You remember you're an only son, and you mean so much to us. 1179 01:17:20,463 --> 01:17:23,535 Oh please, for his sake and mine. 1180 01:17:23,535 --> 01:17:24,847 Steal something! 1181 01:17:25,848 --> 01:17:26,676 Anything! 1182 01:17:27,712 --> 01:17:29,575 I know you can. 1183 01:17:29,575 --> 01:17:31,577 I know deep down inside, 1184 01:17:33,096 --> 01:17:35,443 down where it really counts, 1185 01:17:37,238 --> 01:17:38,412 you're rotten. 1186 01:17:39,827 --> 01:17:41,035 - Thanks, mom. 1187 01:17:41,035 --> 01:17:43,072 Mom, I love him, and I love you too. 1188 01:17:43,072 --> 01:17:44,418 You know that. What's wrong with me? 1189 01:17:44,418 --> 01:17:45,661 I've got crazy blood in me. 1190 01:17:45,661 --> 01:17:47,455 I'm a misfit, like Uncle Fred, the con. 1191 01:17:47,455 --> 01:17:51,908 - Mmm! You must never mention that man's name in this house. 1192 01:17:51,908 --> 01:17:54,359 - Sorry. Mom, I've got to tell you something. 1193 01:17:54,359 --> 01:17:56,568 I know it's going to sound strange, but you've got me. 1194 01:17:56,568 --> 01:17:57,949 Mom, I got a job. 1195 01:17:58,915 --> 01:18:00,089 An honest job. 1196 01:18:04,887 --> 01:18:07,890 - Told you never to use that kind-- 1197 01:18:09,754 --> 01:18:13,309 - Stanley! Oh, son, you've come through. 1198 01:18:13,309 --> 01:18:15,656 A Tommy gun, my boy's got a, 1199 01:18:17,382 --> 01:18:19,384 what the heck is this? 1200 01:18:19,384 --> 01:18:20,626 - It's a violin. 1201 01:18:20,626 --> 01:18:21,558 I love it. 1202 01:18:21,558 --> 01:18:22,939 I want to be a great musician. 1203 01:18:22,939 --> 01:18:23,768 - You want to be a-- 1204 01:18:23,768 --> 01:18:24,630 - Dad! 1205 01:18:29,083 --> 01:18:31,534 - There'll be no musicians in this house. 1206 01:18:31,534 --> 01:18:32,500 Do you hear me? 1207 01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:34,986 I'm not having it. God damnit. 1208 01:18:41,233 --> 01:18:42,752 - Stanley, come back. 1209 01:18:42,752 --> 01:18:44,305 - Let him go. 1210 01:18:44,305 --> 01:18:45,651 He's not my son. 1211 01:18:46,549 --> 01:18:49,483 We'll go on together, alone. 1212 01:18:49,483 --> 01:18:53,038 Go get the tools, I'm going to crack a safe tonight. 1213 01:18:53,038 --> 01:18:56,421 When I'm lost in my work, I kind of forget the pain of life. 1214 01:18:56,421 --> 01:18:58,250 - Now don't forget what the Red wrote, Harry. 1215 01:18:58,250 --> 01:19:01,460 It's a Thompson safe with a 4.4 tumbler combination. 1216 01:19:01,460 --> 01:19:02,738 Don't use too much nitro 1217 01:19:02,738 --> 01:19:04,394 and don't forget to eat the sandwiches 1218 01:19:04,394 --> 01:19:06,811 and remember the watchmen are changed at 10:15. 1219 01:19:06,811 --> 01:19:07,915 And Harry, don't look-- 1220 01:19:07,915 --> 01:19:09,745 - Nag, nag, nag-- 1221 01:19:09,745 --> 01:19:10,676 Don't do this! 1222 01:19:10,676 --> 01:19:13,472 - There's the man, Harry you... 1223 01:19:13,472 --> 01:19:14,577 My father. 1224 01:19:14,577 --> 01:19:15,647 - OK, where's the reward? 1225 01:19:15,647 --> 01:19:17,511 - Here you are, son, $500. 1226 01:19:17,511 --> 01:19:20,514 - May! May, the boy turned in his own father. 1227 01:19:20,514 --> 01:19:23,759 His own flesh and blood for a filthy reward, May. 1228 01:19:23,759 --> 01:19:26,037 Our boy's a stool pigeon. 1229 01:19:26,037 --> 01:19:28,660 [cathartic music] 1230 01:19:28,660 --> 01:19:31,007 He's gonna be all right. 1231 01:19:31,007 --> 01:19:33,734 He's gonna be all right. 1232 01:19:33,734 --> 01:19:35,736 He's gonna be all right. 1233 01:19:38,014 --> 01:19:38,843 - Coocoo? 1234 01:19:42,778 --> 01:19:45,263 Everything will work out, honey, you'll see. 1235 01:19:45,263 --> 01:19:46,712 If your father doesn't give the money 1236 01:19:46,712 --> 01:19:48,231 and if the show closes, 1237 01:19:48,231 --> 01:19:49,992 well there'd be other shows. 1238 01:19:49,992 --> 01:19:52,304 - For you, yes, but not for me. 1239 01:19:52,304 --> 01:19:53,616 - What are you saying, darling? 1240 01:19:53,616 --> 01:19:55,480 - Daddy's right. 1241 01:19:55,480 --> 01:19:57,240 I don't belong here. 1242 01:19:57,240 --> 01:20:01,658 I guess I better go back to Lonesome Well, Texas with him. 1243 01:20:01,658 --> 01:20:03,902 At least everyone there won't laugh at me. 1244 01:20:03,902 --> 01:20:05,801 - I don't laugh at you. 1245 01:20:07,181 --> 01:20:10,046 You are a charming, talented, beautiful girl. 1246 01:20:10,046 --> 01:20:13,670 Where I go, you go, because, because... 1247 01:20:13,670 --> 01:20:17,571 [speaking in foreign language] 1248 01:20:21,299 --> 01:20:22,541 That is if you want me. 1249 01:20:22,541 --> 01:20:25,475 - Why Robert, what are you saying? 1250 01:20:25,475 --> 01:20:28,202 [speaking in foreign language] 1251 01:20:28,202 --> 01:20:29,445 - In English. 1252 01:20:29,445 --> 01:20:32,310 - Well, I look at you through my heart 1253 01:20:32,310 --> 01:20:35,969 and I see the only girl in the world for me. 1254 01:20:38,212 --> 01:20:39,179 - Oh, Robert. 1255 01:20:39,179 --> 01:20:40,180 [Lizzie Borden sung by Company] 1256 01:20:40,180 --> 01:20:41,457 ♪ I just got in from Salem 1257 01:20:41,457 --> 01:20:42,768 ♪ and I'd like to get the facts ♪ 1258 01:20:42,768 --> 01:20:44,115 ♪ Someone named Lizzie Borden 1259 01:20:44,115 --> 01:20:45,979 ♪ has done something with an ax ♪ 1260 01:20:45,979 --> 01:20:47,566 ♪ And you're worried, 1261 01:20:47,566 --> 01:20:49,327 ♪ 'Cause the hoedown usually held on Saturday night ♪ 1262 01:20:49,327 --> 01:20:51,122 ♪ might be ruined because of Lizzie. ♪ 1263 01:20:51,122 --> 01:20:51,985 ♪ Is that your problem? 1264 01:20:51,985 --> 01:20:53,607 - [Chorus] Right. 1265 01:20:53,607 --> 01:20:55,505 ♪ What in the world's gonna happen to the hoedown now? ♪ 1266 01:20:55,505 --> 01:20:57,093 ♪ Something wrong with the hoedown? ♪ 1267 01:20:57,093 --> 01:20:58,439 ♪ What in the world's gonna happen to the hoedown now? ♪ 1268 01:20:58,439 --> 01:20:59,924 ♪ What went wrong with the hoedown? ♪ 1269 01:20:59,924 --> 01:21:01,546 ♪ What in the world's gonna happen to the hoedown ♪ 1270 01:21:01,546 --> 01:21:03,099 ♪ Since sweet Lizzie acted low down? ♪ 1271 01:21:03,099 --> 01:21:05,412 ♪ What in the world's gonna happen to the hoedown now? ♪ 1272 01:21:05,412 --> 01:21:06,827 - What happened? 1273 01:21:06,827 --> 01:21:09,761 ♪ Don't you know what happened yesterday morning? ♪ 1274 01:21:09,761 --> 01:21:13,178 ♪ Sometime between 10 o' clock and noon? ♪ 1275 01:21:13,178 --> 01:21:16,561 ♪ The thing that happened without any warning ♪ 1276 01:21:16,561 --> 01:21:19,460 ♪ The biggest news since Miss Hughes went up in that balloon ♪ 1277 01:21:19,460 --> 01:21:21,014 ♪ Oh! 1278 01:21:21,014 --> 01:21:22,291 ♪ What in the world's gonna happen to the hoedown now? ♪ 1279 01:21:22,291 --> 01:21:23,879 ♪ You mean the trial of Lizzie? ♪ 1280 01:21:23,879 --> 01:21:25,432 ♪ What in the world's gonna happen to the hoedown now? ♪ 1281 01:21:25,432 --> 01:21:26,916 ♪ It's gonna keep you busy 1282 01:21:26,916 --> 01:21:28,504 ♪ What in the world's gonna happen to the hoedown? ♪ 1283 01:21:28,504 --> 01:21:30,092 ♪ Will we let the hoedown go down? ♪ 1284 01:21:30,092 --> 01:21:31,610 ♪ What in the world's going go happen ♪ 1285 01:21:31,610 --> 01:21:33,647 ♪ Since she caught her parents napping? ♪ 1286 01:21:33,647 --> 01:21:34,855 ♪ What in the world's gonna happen ♪ 1287 01:21:34,855 --> 01:21:38,479 to the Saturday afternoon hoedown now? 1288 01:21:38,479 --> 01:21:39,446 ♪ wha 1289 01:21:39,446 --> 01:21:40,654 ♪ Lizzie Borden took her ax 1290 01:21:40,654 --> 01:21:41,897 ♪ And gave her parents 81 whacks ♪ 1291 01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:43,415 ♪ Lizzie Borden took her ax and gave her ♪ 1292 01:21:43,415 --> 01:21:48,420 ♪ Wha-ah-acks 1293 01:21:49,939 --> 01:21:53,149 ♪ Now as I see it, Lizzie Borden is slightly out of step ♪ 1294 01:21:53,149 --> 01:21:55,048 ♪ Because she made them put off the hoedown. ♪ 1295 01:21:55,048 --> 01:21:55,911 ♪ Is that the problem? 1296 01:21:55,911 --> 01:21:57,119 ♪ Yep. 1297 01:21:57,119 --> 01:21:58,292 ♪ That means the regular social function ♪ 1298 01:21:58,292 --> 01:21:59,880 ♪ Can't be held because of the trial. ♪ 1299 01:21:59,880 --> 01:22:01,123 ♪ Of course, we could get out the judge. ♪ 1300 01:22:01,123 --> 01:22:03,021 ♪ Or else we could wait a while. ♪ 1301 01:22:03,021 --> 01:22:04,712 ♪ Go tell Mrs. Elma Drawry 1302 01:22:04,712 --> 01:22:06,438 ♪ to come down her and sit on the jury ♪ 1303 01:22:06,438 --> 01:22:08,026 ♪ Go get Ebernezer Burney. 1304 01:22:08,026 --> 01:22:08,889 ♪ Who is he? 1305 01:22:08,889 --> 01:22:10,097 ♪ District attorney 1306 01:22:10,097 --> 01:22:11,616 ♪ Tell Mrs Jones to leave her fudge ♪ 1307 01:22:11,616 --> 01:22:12,962 ♪ And go into the bedroom and wake up the judge ♪ 1308 01:22:12,962 --> 01:22:14,584 ♪ Get Miss Lizzie to bring that ax ♪ 1309 01:22:14,584 --> 01:22:16,276 ♪ and come on down with a couple of facts ♪ 1310 01:22:16,276 --> 01:22:17,933 ♪ I've got a plan that'll make you smile ♪ 1311 01:22:17,933 --> 01:22:20,625 ♪ We'll have the hoedown with the trial ♪ 1312 01:22:20,625 --> 01:22:21,833 ♪ Come on, everybody 1313 01:22:21,833 --> 01:22:26,113 ♪ We'll have the hoedown with the trial ♪ 1314 01:22:36,917 --> 01:22:37,745 ♪ Howdy, Lizzie. 1315 01:22:37,745 --> 01:22:40,093 ♪ Howdy, John. 1316 01:22:40,093 --> 01:22:40,956 ♪ Where's Mr. Burney? 1317 01:22:40,956 --> 01:22:41,784 ♪ District Attorney? 1318 01:22:41,784 --> 01:22:42,612 ♪ There he is, judge 1319 01:22:42,612 --> 01:22:43,441 ♪ There he is, judge 1320 01:22:43,441 --> 01:22:44,269 ♪ Order in the court 1321 01:22:44,269 --> 01:22:45,961 ♪Lizzie, don't budge 1322 01:22:45,961 --> 01:22:46,789 ♪ Hello, folks 1323 01:22:46,789 --> 01:22:47,755 ♪ Howdy, sonny 1324 01:22:47,755 --> 01:22:49,205 ♪ Yesterday in old Fall River 1325 01:22:49,205 --> 01:22:50,966 ♪ Mr. Andrew Borden died 1326 01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:52,415 ♪ Now they got his daughter Lizzie ♪ 1327 01:22:52,415 --> 01:22:54,279 ♪ On a charge of homicide 1328 01:22:54,279 --> 01:22:55,280 ♪ Some folks say she didn't do it ♪ 1329 01:22:55,280 --> 01:22:57,386 ♪ Others say of course she did 1330 01:22:57,386 --> 01:22:58,939 ♪ But with all agreements, Lizzie B. ♪ 1331 01:22:58,939 --> 01:23:00,492 ♪ Is a problem kind of kid 1332 01:23:00,492 --> 01:23:03,806 ♪ 'Cause you can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts ♪ 1333 01:23:03,806 --> 01:23:06,912 ♪ Not even if it's planned as a surprise ♪ 1334 01:23:06,912 --> 01:23:10,157 ♪ No! You can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts ♪ 1335 01:23:10,157 --> 01:23:13,160 ♪ you know how neighbors love to criticize ♪ 1336 01:23:13,160 --> 01:23:14,679 ♪ Now she got him on the sofa 1337 01:23:14,679 --> 01:23:16,405 ♪ Where he'd gone to take a snooze ♪ 1338 01:23:16,405 --> 01:23:17,958 ♪ And I hope he went to heaven 1339 01:23:17,958 --> 01:23:19,615 ♪ 'Cause he wasn't wearing shoes ♪ 1340 01:23:19,615 --> 01:23:22,825 ♪ She sort of rearranged them with a hatchet, so they say ♪ 1341 01:23:22,825 --> 01:23:24,068 ♪ And then she got her momma 1342 01:23:24,068 --> 01:23:25,897 ♪ In that same old fashioned way ♪ 1343 01:23:25,897 --> 01:23:29,142 ♪ 'Cause you can't chop your mama up in Massachusetts ♪ 1344 01:23:29,142 --> 01:23:32,317 ♪ Not even if you're tired of her cuisine ♪ 1345 01:23:32,317 --> 01:23:35,527 ♪ No you can't chop your mama up in Massachusetts ♪ 1346 01:23:35,527 --> 01:23:38,530 ♪ You know it's almost sure to cause a scene? ♪ 1347 01:23:38,530 --> 01:23:39,842 ♪ Well they really kept her hopping ♪ 1348 01:23:39,842 --> 01:23:41,464 ♪ On that busy afternoon 1349 01:23:41,464 --> 01:23:43,018 ♪ What with down and upstairs chopping ♪ 1350 01:23:43,018 --> 01:23:45,020 ♪ While she hummed a ragtime tune ♪ 1351 01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:46,262 ♪ They really made her hustle 1352 01:23:46,262 --> 01:23:48,092 ♪ And when all was said and done ♪ 1353 01:23:48,092 --> 01:23:49,369 ♪ She'd removed her mother's bustle ♪ 1354 01:23:49,369 --> 01:23:51,405 ♪ When she wasn't wearing one 1355 01:23:51,405 --> 01:23:54,615 ♪ Well you can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts ♪ 1356 01:23:54,615 --> 01:23:57,549 ♪ And then blame all the damage on the mice ♪ 1357 01:23:57,549 --> 01:23:59,068 ♪ No! 1358 01:23:59,068 --> 01:24:00,725 ♪ You can't chop your mama up in Massachusetts ♪ 1359 01:24:00,725 --> 01:24:03,659 ♪ That kind of thing just isn't very nice ♪ 1360 01:24:03,659 --> 01:24:05,074 ♪ Now, it wasn't done for pleasure ♪ 1361 01:24:05,074 --> 01:24:06,765 ♪ And it wasn't done for spite 1362 01:24:06,765 --> 01:24:10,183 ♪ And it wasn't done because the lady wasn't very bright ♪ 1363 01:24:10,183 --> 01:24:13,151 ♪ She always did the slightest thing her ma and papa bid ♪ 1364 01:24:13,151 --> 01:24:14,394 ♪ They said Lizzie, cut it out 1365 01:24:14,394 --> 01:24:16,465 ♪ and that's exactly what she did ♪ 1366 01:24:16,465 --> 01:24:19,709 ♪ No you can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts ♪ 1367 01:24:19,709 --> 01:24:22,643 ♪ And then get dressed to go out for a walk ♪ 1368 01:24:22,643 --> 01:24:24,128 ♪ No! 1369 01:24:24,128 --> 01:24:25,750 ♪ You can't chop your mama up in Massachusetts ♪ 1370 01:24:25,750 --> 01:24:28,684 ♪ Massachusetts is a far cry from New York ♪ 1371 01:24:28,684 --> 01:24:30,962 [clapping] 1372 01:24:32,239 --> 01:24:33,171 - Now what do we do now? 1373 01:24:33,171 --> 01:24:34,103 - Let's have the hoedown. 1374 01:24:34,103 --> 01:24:35,000 - What do we do about her? 1375 01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:35,829 - About me? 1376 01:24:35,829 --> 01:24:36,657 - About you. 1377 01:24:36,657 --> 01:24:37,589 - What did I do? 1378 01:24:37,589 --> 01:24:38,625 - What are we waiting for? 1379 01:24:38,625 --> 01:24:39,453 - Did you do it, Liz? 1380 01:24:39,453 --> 01:24:40,696 - Damn me, no. 1381 01:24:40,696 --> 01:24:41,352 - That good enough for you, Judge? 1382 01:24:41,352 --> 01:24:42,594 - I guess so. 1383 01:24:42,594 --> 01:24:43,250 - That good enough for you, folks? 1384 01:24:43,250 --> 01:24:44,182 - Mmm, yes. 1385 01:24:44,182 --> 01:24:45,010 - Then Lizzie, you're free. 1386 01:24:45,010 --> 01:24:45,942 - Pita, pita, pee! 1387 01:24:45,942 --> 01:24:46,460 - Now, let the hoedown commence. 1388 01:24:46,460 --> 01:24:48,083 - Yes! 1389 01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:49,360 - I want to lead the hoedown. 1390 01:24:49,360 --> 01:24:51,879 - Lizzie wants to lead the hoedown. 1391 01:25:05,686 --> 01:25:08,931 ♪ No you can't chop your mama up in Massachusetts ♪ 1392 01:25:08,931 --> 01:25:10,484 ♪ If she at the door then lock and latch it ♪ 1393 01:25:10,484 --> 01:25:12,107 ♪ And here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet ♪ 1394 01:25:12,107 --> 01:25:15,179 ♪ You can't chop your mama up in Massachusetts ♪ 1395 01:25:15,179 --> 01:25:16,697 ♪ Cross your fingers, knock on wood ♪ 1396 01:25:16,697 --> 01:25:18,389 ♪ Local girl is making good 1397 01:25:18,389 --> 01:25:21,288 ♪ You can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts ♪ 1398 01:25:21,288 --> 01:25:22,945 ♪ She's such a snob, I heard it said ♪ 1399 01:25:22,945 --> 01:25:25,430 ♪ She met her pa and cut him dead ♪ 1400 01:25:25,430 --> 01:25:27,708 ♪ You can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts ♪ 1401 01:25:27,708 --> 01:25:28,537 ♪ Jump like a fish 1402 01:25:28,537 --> 01:25:29,814 ♪ Jump like a porpoise 1403 01:25:29,814 --> 01:25:31,298 ♪ Let's all take hands and habeus corpus ♪ 1404 01:25:31,298 --> 01:25:34,025 ♪ You can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts ♪ 1405 01:25:34,025 --> 01:25:36,407 ♪ Massachusetts is a far cry from New York ♪ 1406 01:25:36,407 --> 01:25:37,649 ♪ Oh, Lizzie Borden 1407 01:25:37,649 --> 01:25:42,620 ♪ Massachusetts is a far cry from New York ♪ 1408 01:25:45,657 --> 01:25:47,625 ♪ Yeah 1409 01:25:47,625 --> 01:25:49,972 [whistling] 1410 01:25:53,009 --> 01:25:54,563 - You know in France 1411 01:25:54,563 --> 01:25:56,944 we usually celebrate our fourth of July 1412 01:25:56,944 --> 01:25:59,499 by having what you call a block dance. 1413 01:25:59,499 --> 01:26:02,536 We dress ourselves as American jitterbugs and cowboys. 1414 01:26:02,536 --> 01:26:07,541 [Bal Petit Bal sung by Eartha Kitt and Robert Clary] 1415 01:26:08,404 --> 01:26:10,095 [singing in foreign language] 1416 01:26:10,095 --> 01:26:13,029 She says, it was the 14th of July. 1417 01:26:13,029 --> 01:26:15,239 [singing in foreign language] 1418 01:26:15,239 --> 01:26:17,896 The streets were all decorated with lanterns. 1419 01:26:17,896 --> 01:26:20,002 [singing in foreign language] 1420 01:26:20,002 --> 01:26:21,831 She meets a boy. 1421 01:26:21,831 --> 01:26:25,663 [singing in foreign language] 1422 01:26:27,009 --> 01:26:30,288 - And naturalement, they fall in love. 1423 01:26:30,288 --> 01:26:34,154 [singing in foreign language] 1424 01:27:33,006 --> 01:27:35,250 - Where I first met you. 1425 01:27:35,250 --> 01:27:38,011 There you stood under a lantern all alone. 1426 01:27:38,011 --> 01:27:39,012 Blue, green. 1427 01:27:40,393 --> 01:27:44,742 Your bright shining eyes made my head turn upside down. 1428 01:27:44,742 --> 01:27:48,539 Remember the old man who tried to talk politics? 1429 01:27:48,539 --> 01:27:50,126 We scarcely heard him. 1430 01:27:50,126 --> 01:27:52,784 For us, he was a lone violinist. 1431 01:27:56,995 --> 01:27:59,826 It's a night I'll always remember. 1432 01:28:02,622 --> 01:28:03,830 ♪ Ah! 1433 01:28:03,830 --> 01:28:07,661 [singing in foreign language] 1434 01:28:48,978 --> 01:28:52,879 [singing in foreign language] 1435 01:29:03,061 --> 01:29:04,442 - You were wonderful, wonderful. 1436 01:29:04,442 --> 01:29:06,064 - Virginia. 1437 01:29:06,064 --> 01:29:08,066 You were great dear, just great. 1438 01:29:08,066 --> 01:29:09,274 - Well, thanks dad. 1439 01:29:09,274 --> 01:29:11,173 - I always knew you'd be a hit, CooCoo. 1440 01:29:11,173 --> 01:29:12,277 I mean, Virginia. 1441 01:29:12,277 --> 01:29:13,589 - Well, here you are. 1442 01:29:13,589 --> 01:29:15,315 - Dad, I've got a surprise for you. 1443 01:29:15,315 --> 01:29:16,558 I'm going to be married. 1444 01:29:16,558 --> 01:29:17,490 - Married? 1445 01:29:17,490 --> 01:29:19,940 Well congratulations son. 1446 01:29:19,940 --> 01:29:21,148 How tall are you? 1447 01:29:21,148 --> 01:29:22,253 - Oh, about six feet I guess, but I-- 1448 01:29:22,253 --> 01:29:23,081 - Oh six feet? 1449 01:29:23,081 --> 01:29:24,324 Oh, that's wonderful. 1450 01:29:24,324 --> 01:29:26,015 That's the way we like them in Texas. 1451 01:29:26,015 --> 01:29:28,052 I knew you wouldn't disappoint me, Virginia. 1452 01:29:28,052 --> 01:29:30,088 - Dad, this is the man I'm going to marry. 1453 01:29:30,088 --> 01:29:31,020 - Oh right. 1454 01:29:34,507 --> 01:29:38,614 [Monotonous sung by Eartha Kitt] 1455 01:29:56,287 --> 01:30:00,843 ♪ Everyone gets into a dull routine ♪ 1456 01:30:00,843 --> 01:30:04,985 ♪ If they don't get a chance to change the scene ♪ 1457 01:30:04,985 --> 01:30:07,574 ♪ I could not be wearier 1458 01:30:07,574 --> 01:30:10,128 ♪ Life could not be drearier 1459 01:30:10,128 --> 01:30:15,133 ♪ If I lived in Siberia 1460 01:30:16,031 --> 01:30:19,414 ♪ I'll tell ya what I mean 1461 01:30:26,421 --> 01:30:30,597 ♪ I met a rather amusing fool 1462 01:30:30,597 --> 01:30:34,394 ♪ While on my way to Istanbul 1463 01:30:34,394 --> 01:30:39,399 ♪ He gave me the Black Sea for my swimming pool ♪ 1464 01:30:40,952 --> 01:30:42,885 ♪ Monotonous 1465 01:30:42,885 --> 01:30:47,131 ♪ For 30 days salt air I sniffed ♪ 1466 01:30:47,131 --> 01:30:48,926 ♪ While I was shipwrecked 1467 01:30:48,926 --> 01:30:50,997 ♪ And cast adrift 1468 01:30:50,997 --> 01:30:55,967 ♪ With a man who looked like Montgomery Clift ♪ 1469 01:30:57,728 --> 01:30:59,592 ♪ Monotonous 1470 01:30:59,592 --> 01:31:02,008 ♪ For what it's worth 1471 01:31:02,008 --> 01:31:04,286 ♪ Throughout the earth 1472 01:31:04,286 --> 01:31:08,393 ♪ I'm known as femme fatale 1473 01:31:08,393 --> 01:31:11,569 ♪ But when the dawn comes up like thunder ♪ 1474 01:31:11,569 --> 01:31:16,574 ♪ Brother, take back your Taj Mahal ♪ 1475 01:31:17,851 --> 01:31:20,992 ♪ Jack Fath made a new style for me ♪ 1476 01:31:20,992 --> 01:31:25,100 ♪ I even made Johnny Rae smile for me ♪ 1477 01:31:25,100 --> 01:31:30,105 ♪ A camel once walked a mile for me ♪ 1478 01:31:31,589 --> 01:31:35,662 ♪ Monotonous 1479 01:31:35,662 --> 01:31:40,046 ♪ Monotonous 1480 01:31:40,046 --> 01:31:42,635 ♪ I could not be wearier 1481 01:31:42,635 --> 01:31:45,085 ♪ Life could not be drearier 1482 01:31:45,085 --> 01:31:50,090 ♪ If I lived in Siberia 1483 01:31:51,333 --> 01:31:54,819 ♪ Traffic has been known to stop for me ♪ 1484 01:31:54,819 --> 01:31:59,514 ♪ Prices even rise and drop for me ♪ 1485 01:31:59,514 --> 01:32:04,415 ♪ Kaska nearly played bop for me ♪ 1486 01:32:05,830 --> 01:32:09,800 ♪ Monotonous 1487 01:32:09,800 --> 01:32:13,079 ♪ Mono-Tone-Eous 1488 01:32:13,079 --> 01:32:18,084 ♪ Ooh 1489 01:32:22,157 --> 01:32:26,057 ♪ There are such immenseful means. ♪ 1490 01:32:26,057 --> 01:32:29,820 ♪ A man of distinction who switched friends for me ♪ 1491 01:32:29,820 --> 01:32:34,825 ♪ Macys and Gimbles shook hands for me ♪ 1492 01:32:36,896 --> 01:32:40,693 ♪ Monotonous 1493 01:32:40,693 --> 01:32:45,698 ♪ Monotonous 1494 01:32:47,631 --> 01:32:50,081 ♪ Monotonous 1495 01:32:53,637 --> 01:32:55,811 - Everything's going to be all right, Robert. 1496 01:32:55,811 --> 01:32:56,778 - Are you sure, darling? 1497 01:32:56,778 --> 01:32:57,606 - Daddy's going home tonight. 1498 01:32:57,606 --> 01:32:59,815 Oh, I almost forgot. 1499 01:32:59,815 --> 01:33:01,506 ♪ Oh 1500 01:33:03,578 --> 01:33:04,406 - Here. 1501 01:33:04,406 --> 01:33:05,614 I better hurry. 1502 01:33:05,614 --> 01:33:06,719 - But CooCoo, 1503 01:33:12,276 --> 01:33:14,830 ♪ I could not be wearier 1504 01:33:14,830 --> 01:33:17,281 ♪ Life would not be drearier 1505 01:33:17,281 --> 01:33:22,286 ♪ If I lived in Siberia 1506 01:33:23,425 --> 01:33:26,808 ♪ Although I know I've acres of dough ♪ 1507 01:33:26,808 --> 01:33:31,295 ♪ I am not sure of the amount 1508 01:33:31,295 --> 01:33:35,195 ♪ It might be exciting someday 1509 01:33:35,195 --> 01:33:39,406 ♪ If I learned to count 1510 01:33:39,406 --> 01:33:43,479 ♪ Chiang Kai-Shek sends me pots of tea ♪ 1511 01:33:43,479 --> 01:33:48,484 ♪ Gayelord Hauser sends me Vitamin D ♪ 1512 01:33:50,003 --> 01:33:55,008 ♪ They wrote for me 1513 01:33:55,630 --> 01:33:59,530 ♪ Monotonous 1514 01:33:59,530 --> 01:34:04,431 ♪ Monotonous 1515 01:34:05,536 --> 01:34:08,021 ♪ Monotonous 1516 01:34:31,493 --> 01:34:34,634 ♪ I take him off my income tax 1517 01:34:34,634 --> 01:34:37,879 ♪ I buy him anything I please 1518 01:34:37,879 --> 01:34:41,192 ♪ He doesn't cost me very much 1519 01:34:41,192 --> 01:34:44,402 ♪ And goodness, he's so nice to squeeze ♪ 1520 01:34:44,402 --> 01:34:45,645 - Now? 1521 01:34:45,645 --> 01:34:46,473 Now. 1522 01:34:49,891 --> 01:34:51,824 - Ladies and gentlemen, 1523 01:34:53,411 --> 01:34:56,691 the next number really needs no introduction. 1524 01:34:56,691 --> 01:34:58,934 - And so we won't make any. 1525 01:35:00,073 --> 01:35:01,040 - Now? 1526 01:35:01,040 --> 01:35:01,868 - Now. 1527 01:35:05,251 --> 01:35:08,564 ♪ I take him off my income tax 1528 01:35:08,564 --> 01:35:11,844 ♪ I buy him anything I please 1529 01:35:11,844 --> 01:35:16,849 ♪ He doesn't cost me very much 1530 01:35:17,953 --> 01:35:20,197 ♪ We hope to see you again 1531 01:35:20,197 --> 01:35:22,786 ♪ We hope you see us again 1532 01:35:22,786 --> 01:35:27,376 ♪ What a pleasant way to finally meet ♪ 1533 01:35:27,376 --> 01:35:32,381 ♪ We hope you've enjoyed your front row seat ♪ 1534 01:35:33,589 --> 01:35:35,799 ♪ We vocally took your hand 1535 01:35:35,799 --> 01:35:38,318 ♪ And vocally shook your hand 1536 01:35:38,318 --> 01:35:43,185 ♪ And asked you to regard this hullaballoo ♪ 1537 01:35:43,185 --> 01:35:48,190 ♪ As our equivalent to our thanks to you ♪ 1538 01:35:48,190 --> 01:35:51,297 ♪ Our thanks to you, Mr. Orchestra, ♪ 1539 01:35:51,297 --> 01:35:53,851 ♪ Thanks to you Mrs. Mezzanine 1540 01:35:53,851 --> 01:35:56,509 ♪ Thanks to you, Lord and Lady Balcony ♪ 1541 01:35:56,509 --> 01:35:59,546 ♪ You're the nicest people we've ever seen ♪ 1542 01:35:59,546 --> 01:36:00,893 ♪ We say it again 1543 01:36:00,893 --> 01:36:01,894 ♪ Encore 1544 01:36:01,894 --> 01:36:04,586 ♪ We're bidding you au revoir 1545 01:36:04,586 --> 01:36:09,211 ♪ And we're hoping as our musical ends ♪ 1546 01:36:09,211 --> 01:36:14,216 ♪ That New Faces and you are now good friends ♪ 1547 01:36:15,079 --> 01:36:18,289 [upbeat orchestral music] 105103