Original subtitles

With the collaboration of

There are a few moments in life

as exciting like this one,

your baby's first kick.

Hey, tell me if I'm hurting you.

It's a bit late for that, isn't it?

If you don't relax it's impossible. I'm completely relaxed.

Or is the critic going to tell me how I should relax?

No, that's it, no more criticism.

That's all over. I...

I can feel it!

Hello, my love!

Hi.

Can you feel anything? Yeah, your hand.

We're the same.

Don't worry about it just cos you're so old.

LITTLE COINCIDENCES

Created by Javier Veiga

In that position is generally easier to feel the baby.

The fathers behind.

That's it. Take you hands so.

Uh!

Look. No way. Hey...

The last time we did this I ended up pregnant.

I don't like it either. I'd never really do it,

but don't worry about it. Go with it.

Okay, well do it with him and I'll take your husband.

Well, it's just to help out... -Excuse me?

Can we calm down a little bit, please.

If we want him to kick we must do it right,

all three of us. Ah!

Are you going to tell it how to do it's first kick?

I'm not going to explain to anyone.

I'm not a critic anymore. In fact, I wanted to tell you,

er... I quit my job.

What do you mean? That.

You can't.

It's not like stopping smoking. What are you going to live on?

I'm going to open a restuarant.

I don't know if it'll work. It might go down the drain...

Are you stupid?

We're going to have a kid.

You should stop criticizing me, not everyone else.

You didn't ask me.

Sorry, I didn't know I had to ask you

if I want to leave my job. No, not me. The baby.

And if it fails? If you get into debt?

Javi, I don't know how you can be so...

Javi, Javi, Javi! It's kicking?

Is it?

Ah ha!

Okay, I'd like a decaffinated espresso but with just a

splash of warm milk in a breakfast cup

with two sugars and no froth, please.

If you just say "the usual", we could save a lot of time.

Pah!

Joaquín?

I'm María. María?

Your Tinder date. Tinder?

Aren't you Joaquín?

No! No, no, no.

My name's not Joaquín. No no!

My name is...

Josemi.

Maybe he kicked cos he doesn't like us fighting?

Is sucking lemons in fashion now? Another craving?

It's what Cristina wants.

Cristina? Is it going to be a girl?

I call her that but I don't really know.

Why Cristina?

I always thought I was going to have a girl,

but it was when I imagined without imaginging.

When I began to imagine, like I was imagining,

I imagined a boy.

Yeah. I'm not so sure it won't be twins.

If it's twins, you can carry one. I'm only up to the one.

Shall we do a deal.

I will accept the name Cristina

if you'll let me take you out to eat something other than lemons.

I'm meeting Álex.

Álex? What...?

Chorizo Boy?

Don't call him that. It's a disrespectful nickname.

You started it.

Yeah, when he was a fat kid with a chorizo face.

Now it shows a lack of respect.

Marta, seriously, you can't go out with Chorizo Boy.

That's my business.

You're angry cos I packed in my job without telling you.

My opinion counts. If it affects my son or daughter or the twins.

I'm not going to get married to the first one who comes along.

We're not all like you.

It's a date.

Ah. A date.

So you're calling it a date, a first date.

No. The second in fact.

What? Great, great. So you're going to shag him.

Why do you think that?

Second dates end in sex. It's a universal truth.

We aren't a couple. You can only have an opinion about the baby.

I'm not talking about dates, but the fact that you're pregnant.

If you'd like, I'll yank it out and leave it at home.

Hey...

It seems this romantic comedy is going round in some absurd loop.

Maybe all that stuff about soulmates,

and perfect partners is a load of crap,

just an idea we set our hearts on.

I dunno... I think it's time to start seeing other people.

To see what happens.

To see what happens to us.

Okay, you're right.

It's normal you go out withn other people.

I should accept that you have dates.

It's normal.

It's the second dates I'm going to have trouble with.

Hi babes.

You can't imagine how pissed off I am!

I almost got fined.

Joaquín?

Of course.

Hello. I'm Ana.

Lovely to meet you. Sit down.

Our last beer, hey?

The Río bar...

is finished,

so let's drink to the new restaurant.

Hey?

I don't feel like toasting.

Marta's going on a date and she's pregnant. Is that normal?

No. That's disgusting going out with someone who's pregnant!

That's not what I meant.

Are you worried that they're going to fu...

Don't say that. Relax "brother",

as she's going to be a mother, he can be a motherfu...

Are you stupid or what? She's my son's mother?

Or my daughter, or whatever.

We don't even have a name.

What about El Obelisco?

I meant the baby.

Ah. Well, for the baby as well.

Hey, what about Ariel?

It's beautiful and it's unisex.

And a washing up liquid too.

What about Álex?

It works for a boy or girl, but...

Ah, Álex,

my date with Álex, yeah.

I mean I don't know.

We've arranged a time but maybe I'll cancel.

Isn't a pregnant date a bit weird?

What's weird about it?

Cos it's the second one and they always end up in sex.

That's rubbish!

It's universal truth.

And what does it matter?

The worst thing that could happen has already happened.

Why don't you go on a date then tell her so she flips out?

Yeah, to make her jealous. All very grown up.

And they can walk through the school hand in hand?

Maybe we should date other people just to see what happens.

Know what?

I'm going to write to...Sara.

Who?

A girl from the gym who asked for my number last month.

I never got back to her.

Wow! I've never been asked for my number at the gym.

Well, the first step is that you have to go to the gym.

I'll take her to that bistrot I told you about.

Impossible.

I'm going with Elisa tonight and it took me a week to get a table.

Are you back with Elisa? This guy will never learn.

This time it's serious. We're really in love.

Yeah. Like some dumb comedy show on TV.

When you say you're in love is just when she chucks you.

No really. I feel great about it.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey. We're talking about my kid.

Yeah, but Marta, it gets a bit wearying, hey?

Babes, Nacho is the typical guy who's gonna want more kids.

I dunno. I thought that he was over that.

There was a time I thought I wanted to have kids.

Can you believe that I was even seeing imaginary kids?

You saw imaginary kids?

She's a total fruitcake.

Yeah, yeah, fucking nuts.

Well I think that Nacho is... He hasn't said anything for...

What? Nacho!

The other day, for no reason, he said

why don't I stop taking the pill.

Shit!

Message from Elisa.

She's cancelled tonight's date.

I knew it! She's gonna leave you.

And you so happy about it you twat.

But she ain't gonna leave me. She'll have a good reason.

Just that I'm fucked cos I had to pay for the table in advance.

Don't worry. I'll take your reservation.

Oh, Elisa is writing.

I told you she had a good reason to cancel.

She says its Eurovision tonight.

I couldn't think of anything else.

And you should cancel with Álex.

Earlier you said I shouldn't.

Yeah, earlier she was young and carefree.

Now perhaps she's gonna be a mum.

Shut it!

Cancel your date and we'll go on a girls night out.

We'll go to that Bistrot and grab the reservation.

Oh! I won't be going.

Tonight it's Eurovision.

No. I've never used Tinder...

I was too afraid to meet the typical...

macho just trying to get women.

Oh. Macho man.

Me? Please, not a chance.

I didn't even know what Tinder was.

Just that yesterday my son was pressuring me

but I've been a widower for 30 years now.

And another thing,

this is the first bar I've been to in months.

A mint tea please.

Mint tea. And the usual for you is it?

Wha...?

What do you mean the usual? You're mixing me up with someone.

No, no, no. I'd like a mint tea as well, please.

But shall I put in it the usual cup,

with two sugars, and a splash of milk like in your coffee?

What a memory!

Memory?

I must have had a coffee here once before.

Alone.

What do you mean alone, Joaquín?

But why does she have to know whether I've had a coffee

here? Alone or with other women?

Yeah, sure. C'mon.

We'll leave. The waitress is crazy.

You won't get me, Joaquín.

Will you now?

Son, seeing you came all the way to Mexico,

it's time that you knew the truth.

Joaquín...

is not your father.

Yes. I know. Why do you thnk I'm here?

Let me tell the story, you're messing it up.

As I was saying, Joaquin and I had an open relationship.

But he told me he was a virgin when he got married.

Okay, well I had an open relationship.

So you slept around.

No. Not around. To be sleeping around I would

have had to have slept with Joaquín.

Yeah.

When we were courting your grandpa threatened to slice him

from one end to the other like a pig

if he laid a hand on me

and Joaquín, as he's a wimp, was scared stiff.

You have to understand, son.

I did it out of necessity.

But if there were several,

how can I know who my father is?

If I had to lay any bets...

♪ I'll cry.

♪ I won't cry.

♪ One day, I'll find...

♪ anyone who loves me. ♪

José Manuel García?

Yes.

I...

I... I...

From Amazon right?

Yes. I'm from Amazon.

Oh.

And what have you got for me?

Uh...

I don't know. What did you order?

Me? Nothing.

There you are then.

Great.

Another father who's gonna think I'm an idiot.

You didn't answer the message I sent you.

I thought you were a bit weird.

Fine.

So a guy who doesn't respond to a woman's message is weird?

Well, the other possibility is that you were the typical handsome

guy who turns out to be gay, but you didn't fit the profile.

Cos I don't look gay?

No, you do.

Fine. Good evening.

Can your confirm booking name?

Er... Yes, Nacho Rubirosa.

Thank you. Thanks.

I thought your name was Javi?

Yes, yes, yes. It's a pseudonym.

I never give my real name, so they don't get uptight.

As I'm a food critic...

And you are a psychologist, right?

Yeah. That can make guys a little uptight too; I don't know why,

but I do seem to attract some real nutters.

Javi, hello.

Javi. Javi!

Hello.

Didn't you see me?

Sorry, Claudia, I didn't recognize you like that...

you know...without...

Sorry, Sara, this is Claudia.

She's my...

...my gardener.

And his ex.

Yeah, my ex-gardener.

And your ex-wife.

Yes. Ex-wife as well. Yes. Thanks.

Nice to meet you.

See you. Enjoy your meal.

Nice to see you.

Maybe all that did seem a little bit weird...

but nothing is what it seems.

Look, she's my ex,

but not my ex ex.

I mean I married her but not for love or anything.

I'm not a bastard, no. It was as a favour.

To do with papers and all that...

She's not my real ex.

So you were never involved?

No, I mean yes.

Uh...

Before yes; and then we weren't.

I left her so that we could get married.

So...

It's difficult to explain,

but I swear I'm not a weirdo.

Javi?

Hey... What are you doing here?

Good question. Didn't you say you weren't coming?

To have dinner with Nacho I mean.

I mean Nacho my brother, not Nacho...

my pseudonym.

Aren't you going to introduce me? Yes...of course.

Sara, this is... Elisa.

Elisa. Well, Elisa is my...

Not mine. She's my father's girlfriend,

I mean my brother's girlfriend.

First it was my father then it was my brother.

Though actually it was my brother, my father,

and then back to my brother, right?

Elisa is the best friend of...

no one. Of no one.

In fact I think she's leaving, no?

Oh yes, of course.

I was going cos I have to call no one.

Hey...

Right, okay.

Maybe all that seemed weird, but it's all very normal.

I'm using the reservation that my brother had in his name.

Shall we order?

Sure.

Well, you're the expert. What do you recommend?

Shit!

Shit?

Uh...

Hello, Marta.

Er... Er...

Er...

This is Sara. She's my...

my... psychologist.

Well, a psychologist in general, not mine.

Not mine, cos I'm just fine.

And how are you? Fine too?

I dunno. Freaking out.

That makes two of us.

Well, Sara, Marta is my...

Is my...my

Er...

Mine.

That's mine.

Not the rest. The rest is...

free.

Eh...excuse me for a second?

Marta, wait, I can explain.

I don't want explanations. Go back to your date.

If you go back now maybe it'll be considered a second date?

You told me that we had to meet new people.

You were the one who thought it was wrong to go on dates.

No, no, no. I said you shouldn't if you were pregnant and

as you have seen, she isn't.

Is that a pregnancy joke? Cos I don't get it.

But I'm sure that when our child is born and I'm

alone and bleeding, I'll have a good laugh about it.

You're losing it a bit now...

Weren't you meeting Álex?

I cancelled, you idiot.

Though I'm an idiot for cancelling.

What? Is it the baby? Another kick?

Don't touch me.

Shall I take you home?

Taxi! Hey...

And don't say "home" because it's not our home.

We have nothing in common now.

Uh...

You know what I mean. Well I know what I mean.

At least I hope so.

And now the kids have come to bend my ear.

Can't you leave me alone for once...?

Er...

Would you think I'm less weird if I told you I speak with ghosts?

I'm your son.

I'm your son, I'm your son, I'm your son.

Hey.

Something for me today?

42 years ago,

you had a romance with a girl called Marieta.

What you didn't know is...

that that girl Marieta...

José Manuel,

I'm your son.

And you work for Amazon?

Okay.

Marta, wait, wait, wait.

Eh...

Do you have a date with Choriz... with Álex?

No.

Ah, great, and great that you didn't yesterday either

and that I went out with the...

I say that because that was how come we met up.

Small coincidences are always on our side.

Yes, it's like a fairy tale.

Marta, I'm making you're favourite meal,

sea bream cooked in beer.

A meal for two?

No, for three. Or for four if it's twins.

Great. On you go, put mine in the oven

for later. I've other plans.

You said you weren't going out to dinner.

Dinner no. I meeting Álex for an early bite. He'll be...

So those small coincidences aren't always so favorable.

Marta...

Don't eat too much and I'll wait til you get back.

We're going to see a film.

Ah. And later?

The night is young and so am I.

Maybe I'll have someone over to eat the fish.

Great. Call the psychologist, you need one.

You have a wonderful family, José Manuel.

Call me Josema, Josemi.

Even better, call me "dad".

Thanks dad.

Excuse me. -No, don't worry.

I'm sentimental too.

Oh!

Your mother! She was really wild.

I mean she is. Seeing she's alive.

But wouldn't you prefer to speak about this in private?

Do you mean because of my wife? -Yes.

She doesn't understand. An attack...

and now she's like that. A pity.

You'll see, you'll see.

Throw a ball of paper at her.

You'll see. -But...

She won't react...you'll see.

Rip, scrunch, throw. -I'm not gonna...

C'mon. Throw it -No.

C'mon. C'mon -But...

What are you playing at?

I... -It was a joke.

You told me to throw it. -Gotcha!

Oh!

I'm so happy that you are here, son.

Oh! -Yeah.

I'm happy too.

I was worried that you wouldn't remember my mother.

Ha! How could I forget her!

Wow!

We met the summer after I got married to this one.

-A beautiful wedding.

Right, darling?

-No.

No, she doesn't understand a thing.

Confess. Meeting at this time

was really to see if I'd order a chorizo sandwich.

Of course not; anyway you weren't such a loser.

There were worse cases at school.

Don't you remember the fat kid...

who they dressed in a tutu

in the end of year show?

Yeah, yeah. That was me.

I'm sorry.

And the one whose head was pushed down the toilet?

No, that was your brother.

So there were other losers?

But Josemi didn't care.

I spent my adolesence in love with the most beautiful

girl in the school.

Seriously? Uh huh.

I didn't know.

You were in love with me?

Not you no. Rosana Ruiz.

You weren't the most beautiful girl in the school, hey?

Ha! Goal.

Hey, this is a café!

Wait. Wait, wait, wait, Nacho!

I really need to talk to you.

What about? I've forgiven you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm having doubts now!

Nacho, really, I need to talk.

What kind of doubts?

Well... I think that we want different things.

All I want is to have a shag.

But if you want to talk, okay, we'll talk.

Look Nacho...

If we're not going to shag, I'm hungry.

Shall we get a pizza?

What do you want?

I dunno...four cheeses

and whatever you want.

I don't care. Any old thing.

So we can get a family size one.

Family?

Why a family-size one?

See? I don't want a family, Nacho.

That's the problem.

A family-size pizza? Yes!

I want an individual pizza, Nacho,

and I want you to have your own individual pizza,

because if you don't get the family-size pizza you'll start

getting on my case cos I didn't want a family-size one.

It's just a bloody pizza, Elisa!

If only, Nacho.

Today it's just a pizza, but what about tomorrow?

I dunno. Chinese?

And now you want to adopt?

What the hell are you talking about?

Nacho, if you don't know, it's better we drop the whole thing.

Okay. We won't order anything.

No, Nacho. Me and you.

It's over.

Look. I've had girlfriends who've dumped me for stupid reasons,

but for a four-cheeses pizza...

Didn't you like the film?

I dunno. Romantic comedies seem like a bad joke to me.

Well, yeah...real life is a bit more difficult.

A date like ours wouldn't happen in a film like that.

No? Everything is just too complicated.

Because I'm pregnant?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Cos of me.

A widowed father, with two kids...

A lot of women, just aren't interested.

I couldn't care less that you're pregnant.

Nor could I that you're a widower.

It's one of the things that I found attractive.

I mean that you are a father. Not a widower.

Well, because if your wife was alive it would be tough.

I mean it's worse that she's dead.

For her, not for me.

I'm not explaining it very well. What I want to...

And what now?

I've got two kids at home.

And I've got a sea bream.

Do you really have another date with the psychologist?

Dad, it's obvious you don't want to go out with girls

and anyway, she's crazy.

She's not crazy. It's true, she's not crazy.

If she's coming round after what happened yesterday, she's nuts.

She's arriving any minute.

Would you mind disappearing?

If you keep dating people instead of making it up with mum,

I'll disappear forever.

Would you mi...?

I don't believe it.

Some coincidence!

Ooh...

It won't stop!

And now there's a text.

Christ! Christ!

An emergency! I have to leave.

My daughter is pregnant and she's been taken to hospital.

Hey! That's enough Joaquin.

You've gone too far.

Don't listen to this jerk

cos it's all a lie. He does it to all the women.

Excuse me?

It's one thing to pretend to be confused or to hide in the gents,

but such a cruel lie is beyond the pale.

Good one!

Could you be any more of a liar?

A shameless sexist pi...

Well, you can see that there's nothing odd today, right?

All very normal.

Well, except my beer sea bream without beer.

I use white wine. The beer is a side serving.

Cheers. Cheers.

What I don't understand is that with such a big house

you live in a hut in the garden.

Well... -C'mon tell her the truth,

and see if we get this situation over with.

Oh! Forgive me.

Yes?

Álex? What Álex?

What? What? What? Marta's what?

Which hospital?

Okay, I'm on my way.

I have to go. It was Álex, Marta's gone into labour.

Is Álex her boyfriend?

No, no, no. Well, I don't know. They were on a date.

The second one in fact but I don't think that...

And I think he's gay. As a kid he was with her brother.

Hers not his though he's no longer hers cos her father

is not his father... I'll tell you about it later.

Is there anything I can do?

Well... yeah.

If you could put everything in the fridge for later.

Good luck.

Thanks. Stay there.

Who are you talking to?

Er...

The plants, the plants.

This used to be a greenhouse and there were loads,

and I can feel their presence.

I'm the father! I'm the father! I'm the father!

I'm the father! I'm the father!

I'm here. Where is she?

Is it a boy? A girl? Excuse me?

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh! Oh!

Javi, stop.

I'm sorry.

But what?

False alarm. Braxton contractions.

Braxton? Who is Braxton

Braxton Hicks.

The uterus preparing itself for the birth.

Yeah.

And what started it?

Why did the uterus begin with the contractions?

It's nothing serious.

Well, it seems serious to me.

Hey... Do you mind?

Of course.

"Doctor Leistar, go to floor 3. Thanks".

What were you doing? What business is it of yours?

Oh!

Nothing's wrong with the baby. The doctor's say it's fine.

Yeah, but they don't know what it would have felt...

Felt what? I dunno.

I imagine it's a disagreeable situation for the baby.

You're lying there... like in the hotel jacuzzi.

A fat German comes along and jumps in...

and you feel something under the water.

Well, I'll try not to let any fat Germans in my vagina.

It's not a joke. A bit of one yes.

The doctors said it was just pure chance,

I can live a normal life. None of this seems normal to me.

So we agree on something,

cos you are acting a bit weird

and I don't think it's anything to do with the baby.

You're jealous and are using the baby as a justification.

Javi, I've moved on...

and you are stubborn, you won't give in,

but I think you should act like a grown-up and do the same.

You are right there.

I won't give up so easily.