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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,000 With the collaboration of 2 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:12,680 I do. 3 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:14,160 It was about time 4 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,240 after three months of pregnancy... 5 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,920 I have thought about it a lot and I'm really sure. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,600 I do. 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:22,920 You want to do what? 8 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:26,360 Well... I want to get divorced. 9 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,800 But you don't say: "I do". 10 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:30,680 To get divorced you say nothing. 11 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,640 Sorry? Time to do what? 12 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,240 Time to my mother came with me for the gynecological check-up. 13 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:36,760 I've been in Mexico more than two 14 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:38,240 months and it's the fist time she's moved her ass. 15 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,520 Oh! How common! 16 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,680 And I move it a lot, you can tell. 17 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,440 But the world doesn't stop just cos you're pregnant. 18 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,240 So, that's it then? 19 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,360 We're divorced now? 20 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,560 No, the paperwork is just starting 21 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,320 and until the judge gives it the go ahead 22 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,160 you're still married. 23 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,960 Do we have to go to court? 24 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,160 We're both in agreement. 25 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,680 Put: "Divorced", take it to the divorce 26 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,160 register or whatever. 27 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,720 Judges have more important things to judge. 28 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,600 It doesn't work like that 29 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,440 but it helps that you agree. 30 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,800 Well, I don't mind staying married. 31 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,160 No need to write that down. 32 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,520 Say that we are both in agreement, 33 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,280 though one agrees an little bit more than the other. 34 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,000 You don't have kids, right? 35 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:43,160 LITTLE COINCIDENCES Created by Javier Veiga 36 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,640 So you are past the thirteenth week of pregnancy, 37 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,120 which is good news. 38 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:48,360 Why good news? 39 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,320 It'll be cos the number 13, means bad luck. 40 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,240 Mexicans are really superstitious. 41 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,480 Madame, it is because of the trimester. 42 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,880 Mexican gynecologists tend to be doctors, not soothsayers. 43 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:01,240 And handsome too. 44 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,400 Don't get angry, I love everything Mexican. 45 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,640 Don't worry, she's not interested 46 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,800 in you; she does it to embarrass me so I won't ask her to come back. 47 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,800 So, will the father be coming? 48 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,800 The father is in Spain. He won't be coming. Separated. 49 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,760 We are not separated cos we didn't get married. 50 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,360 Well. He did. 51 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:18,520 Okay, mum, that's it! 52 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:19,800 I won't ask you to come again. 53 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,160 Well, I'm separated too and 54 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,520 I'm not ashamed of it. 55 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,160 And my ex is your father. 56 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,600 And what a... 57 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,320 Josemi! 58 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,080 Get on Tinder will you. 59 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,840 One day off won't hurt. 60 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,200 Yes, it will. 61 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:39,920 I want to make up for lost time, 62 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,920 your mum took my best years. 63 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,440 Don't you think it's a bit immature to go out with 64 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:44,800 someone different every day? 65 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:45,880 Totally. 66 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,600 I used to be mature, yes. 67 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,120 And what comes after maturity? Rot. 68 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,720 And before I rot I want to shag a lot. 69 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,760 Dad, stop! You're like a dirty old man. 70 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,800 "Dirty old man"? I'm a honey. 71 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,760 I'm a "DILF" for the girls. 72 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,280 Know what a "DILF" is? 73 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,480 "Daddy I'd like to fuck". 74 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,800 You don't know what that means. 75 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,360 And you're not a "daddy", you're a grand-daddy! 76 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,040 You'll traumatize your grand-kids 77 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,360 if they catch you half-naked one of these days! 78 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,040 Yeah, well that's why I don't bring the doxies here. 79 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,480 But the next time your wife foists the kids on you, 80 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:21,840 take them to a ball pit. 81 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:24,280 Or they might find themselves face to face with my balls. 82 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,400 Nice thought. 83 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:31,160 Okay, don't worry, your grand-kids won't be back here. 84 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,440 And I'll give this address to your next date. 85 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,640 So they come here, Joaquín. 86 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,120 Why do you say Joaquín? 87 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,240 Isn't that your name? 88 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,240 I must remind you that you're no longer my father. 89 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,560 Technically speaking I never was. 90 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,360 I told you I'd come every day to ask. 91 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,520 If my daughter doesn't want you to know where she is, 92 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,200 how can I possibly tell you? 93 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,560 Joaquín, she is pregnant with my child, 94 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:05,760 I have a right to know. 95 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,160 So ask her. 96 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:08,400 She won't answer the phone. 97 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,400 Are we going to have the same conversation each day? 98 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,920 Why won't you leave her alone? 99 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,800 I have to remind you, you are a married man. 100 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,080 Actually no; I'm divorced now, Joaquín. 101 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,520 Perhaps Marta would like to know. 102 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,040 Ok, so call her and tell her. 103 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,640 Ah. It's you... 104 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,400 Can you give me your sister's address in Mexico? 105 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:33,520 Please. 106 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,400 Look, if I wanted to I couldn't 107 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:36,840 cos I don't know the address. 108 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,160 They say I'm soft and 109 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,600 that if I saw you I'd spill the beans. 110 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,520 But isn't she at your mum's place? 111 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,480 Ah, that address I do have. 112 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,280 But I can't tell you, obviously. 113 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,240 Write it down. 114 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,840 See how soft you are? 115 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,640 But you didn't see his expression. 116 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,720 Show him. 117 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,320 Joaquín, christ, I'm having a son. 118 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:07,720 Or a daughter, 119 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,320 I always had the feeling it 120 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,800 it will be a girl. Yeah, no, 121 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,560 I was sure it would be a girl too, 122 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:13,640 until... 123 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:17,680 Until what? 124 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:20,760 Pah... 125 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,800 Remember when you used to appear? 126 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,040 I wish I could speak to someone right now. 127 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,320 Not about you father. 128 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,080 Fuck him. 129 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,000 My child! 130 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,200 You won't believe who's here! 131 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:49,720 Abracadabra! 132 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,080 Oh! 133 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,080 What are you doing here? 134 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,360 What do you think? 135 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:58,880 Surprise! 136 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,440 My plane doesn't leave 'til tomorrow. 137 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,880 That's great, isn't it? 138 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,760 I knew I could count on you. 139 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,320 I said I wouldn't give it to you. 140 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,280 You said you would. 141 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,880 Look, I said: "I'll give you Marta's address right away", 142 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,440 but with a touch of sarcasm. 143 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:15,920 Well, you didn't do it very well! 144 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,320 If you can't do it well, 145 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,560 drop the sarcasm. 146 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,480 Sorry, but we gays have the sarcastic tone in 147 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:21,560 our DNA. 148 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,360 So maybe you're not gay. 149 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:24,760 You're a married man! 150 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,200 That's not usually an impediment 151 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,120 to me, but it is for Marta. Leave her alone! 152 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,960 I'm divorced, hey? 153 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:32,920 Marta doesn't know yet. Nor does she want to! 154 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,960 She's in Mexico, living like a queen. 155 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,400 I'm up to here! 156 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,760 But you just said you were living like a queen. 157 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,480 Yeah, with a sarcastic tone. 158 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,480 If I haven't any friends to moan 159 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,560 to or money to go shopping with, how could I possibly be okay? 160 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,000 How come you've no money? 161 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,440 Cos I'm paying three mortgages: 162 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,920 the boutique, the house where you live, the one I bought with Javi. 163 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,640 Hey, I pay rent. 164 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,120 And you have to ask Javi for some. 165 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,280 Tell Giovanni to send you the money from the shop, 166 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,400 half of it is yours. 167 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,280 Sure, I left him all alone there; 168 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,480 I'll call him to ask for money. Good idea. 169 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,120 Yeah? 170 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,280 Giovanni, Marta's here. 171 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:09,680 No, no. It's not a good moment. 172 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,720 C'mon, tell him. 173 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,560 It's some woman from Vodafone, she's always calling. 174 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:16,840 Giovanni. 175 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,800 Giovanni, are you there? 176 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,520 Yes, thanks, you've called at a bad time. 177 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,160 I'm with a client. 178 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,920 So what. Let them wait. Have you got a second? 179 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,720 Well, it's not a normal client, it's a friend... 180 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,120 Not a friend exactly, more like family. 181 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,560 He's here asking me about my business partner, 182 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,880 but I told him I couldn't give out that information. 183 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,560 Why are you telling Vodafone about me? 184 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,560 Giovanni, don't mess me about, forget the client. 185 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,480 I wanted... to... 186 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,520 ask you something. It's awkward. 187 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,120 I'll come out with it. 188 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,080 I need 15 or 20 000 euros as an advance. From the business. 189 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,560 20 000! Are you cr...? 190 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,640 Er... No. Your offer does not interest me. 191 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,680 What are you going on about? Just so you know, 192 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,520 right now the business is losing money 193 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,040 and we can't afford... 194 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,280 this kind of thing. 195 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,480 Why are you telling her that? Just hang up. 196 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,960 They are always calling and calling with their offers, right? 197 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,280 Well, they can shut up and listen. 198 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:08,920 Can you tell me what's happening? 199 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,320 Nothing, I told you I couldn't speak right now, 200 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,480 cos there's someone here, that you don't know... 201 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,360 It's Marta, right? Er... No. I don't know her name. 202 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:17,440 They do tell you but I never 203 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:18,560 pay attention. Give it to me! 204 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:21,600 Marta. Marta! Is that you? 205 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,480 How may I help you, sir? 206 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,080 Uh... 207 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,080 Seems it was Vodafone after all. 208 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,120 Giovanni, please, let me have the address. 209 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,440 I haven't got it. We only speak on the phone. 210 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:35,720 Is that a postcard? 211 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:37,240 Yeah. 212 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:38,640 From a friend. 213 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:40,520 It says "Acapulco". 214 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,640 Oh! You hid it in a drawer. 215 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:46,760 I can get it if I want. 216 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,320 I'm an expert in one-on-one combat, 217 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,680 try it if you want to. 218 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,520 Marta, please! 219 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,800 Don't worry about the money. 220 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,360 Don't they say that kids come with a loaf under their arm? 221 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,640 If it's born here, it's likely to be a quesadilla. 222 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,680 Why don't you ask Javi to lend you money? 223 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,000 I was just thinking about that. 224 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,840 That was a sacrcastic tone, wasn't it? 225 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:09,680 Giovanni, I'm having a son! 226 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,200 Or daughter. Marta always wanted to have a daughter. 227 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,000 I was convinced it would be a girl...until... 228 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,160 Until what? 229 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:20,960 Well... 230 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,520 Please. 231 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,680 What? I'm trying to find you; don't bug me. 232 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,160 You should have gone to Mexico with your mum. Let's go. 233 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,320 So... 234 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,680 We really should do this again, shouldn't we? 235 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,280 Are you throwing me out? 236 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,360 No! Not a bit of it. 237 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:53,760 I thought you were leaving. 238 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,040 That's why I said I'll call. 239 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,640 But you didn't ask for my number. 240 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,760 Oh... 241 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,600 But you did ask for the bill. 242 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:05,440 No, wasn't me. 243 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,960 They'll be cashing up. 244 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,880 But you signalled like that. 245 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,840 When she was fixing her shoe. 246 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,240 Joaquín! 247 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:14,600 Do you remember me? 248 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,240 Doctor Troncoso, venereal specialist. 249 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:18,560 Oh, excuse me, 250 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,040 I didn't realize you were alone. 251 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,200 No, I was just leaving. Well. I was being kicked out. 252 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,520 But maybe I'll stay. 253 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,800 I don't know this gentleman. 254 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,720 No! I never forget a face. 255 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,960 Least of all yours when I told you you had syphilis. 256 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,720 Don't you remember? 257 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,440 You think I'm new on Tinder? 258 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,400 I don't know what "Trinder" is. 259 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:42,400 I'm in venereal disease and urine leakage. 260 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,960 By the way, how are you getting on with the nappies? 261 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,080 Look, stop it please, you're ruining it. 262 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,520 They've rumbled us. 263 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,800 Did you send a WhatsApp so he'd come and rescue you? 264 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:56,040 No, I think it was when he touched his ear like this. 265 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,600 What's it to you anyway? 266 00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:58,840 I am really a doctor. 267 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,040 You're no doctor, she's right, 268 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,160 you are a moron! 269 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,400 Look, you are more beautiful, 270 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:08,080 younger and more polite than this old git, 271 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,800 you don't have to put up with it. 272 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,840 Well, she is right as well. 273 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,320 Do you both want to give it a rest? 274 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,080 She's right, 275 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,840 you are better looking etc than me. 276 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,520 That's the problem, I like you, 277 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,240 and I don't want that to happen. 278 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,160 I ask for your forgiveness, with all my heart. 279 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,120 I'm not looking for anything 280 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,880 serious, just a migratory bird; 281 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,000 and you look like you're looking... 282 00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:36,960 for a henhouse. 283 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,680 Oh that's nice. 284 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,200 He wants a swallow, 285 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,480 but you look more like a chicken. 286 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,120 Hello. 287 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,920 Joaquín? Beatriz? 288 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,040 Have a seat. Please. 289 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,600 Better at the bar maybe? 290 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,600 As we're all just passing through. 291 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,640 I still haven't got Marta's address, 292 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:20,920 I'm desperate! 293 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:22,440 Welcome to the club. 294 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,880 I'm ruined, I sold the food truck. 295 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,360 Who'd have thought it. It was so well parked. 296 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:29,840 Don't you get smart, 297 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,680 you're living with him, which is pretty low. 298 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,200 When an immigrant has to take you in. 299 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,640 I'm a doctor, numbnuts. 300 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,000 And if I was selling stuff on the 301 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,000 street I'd have a more promising future than you. 302 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,200 I'm at his place cos I was feeling alone. 303 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,760 Cos I lost the love of my life. 304 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,720 And my wife left me. 305 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,520 Anyway, I'm not that desperate. 306 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,760 Anything else? 307 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:48,880 A job if you've got one. 308 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,280 Would you hire me? 309 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,120 If a Spanish guy is looking for a job in a Chinese restaurant, 310 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,960 he must be desperate. 311 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,640 I'm so glad I can come here and talk about my troubles. 312 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,000 I always find consolation. 313 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:00,800 Hey, we've all got our little problems. 314 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,440 You know that I can't sleep at night 315 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,960 without my special pillow. 316 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,600 Well, Piggy-wiggy changed the lock 317 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,160 so I can't get it back. 318 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,520 I'll open it for 20 euros. 319 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:11,760 Do you know about locks? 320 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,000 How do you think I've survived the last few months? 321 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:15,720 It's a joke, right? 322 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,440 Yeah, of course it is. 323 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,640 But do you want me to open Piggy-wiggy's lock or not? 324 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:24,400 I do want you to open a lock for me. 325 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:31,680 What I still don't understand is 326 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,120 why you want to get into Marta's boutique at 327 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,320 this time of night. 328 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,440 The question is why the hell are you dressed as a minstrel. 329 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,440 Cos you said we should wear something black 330 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,560 and it's all I had. 331 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,120 Shit... 332 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,680 It would be easier to open with an x-ray. 333 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,200 You don't have one on you by any chance? 334 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,000 Yeah, sure. In the car. 335 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,800 Is that tone sarcastic? 336 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,040 What "sarcastic tone"? I'm a doctor, numbnuts, 337 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,840 I've got some in the car. 338 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,680 Evening. 339 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,560 C'mon for christ's sake! Oh yeah. 340 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,640 Good! 341 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,200 The x-ray is a bit screwed I'm afraid. 342 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,360 No, don't worry. 343 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:16,880 Don't worry, the patient's even worse. 344 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,360 C'mon, let's go. 345 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,040 Okay... 346 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:36,760 Shit, it's gone. 347 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,680 What is it we're looking for? 348 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:39,880 A postcard from Acapulco 349 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,400 that has Marta's address on it. 350 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:42,840 This one? 351 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:44,920 Yes! 352 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,080 Is the address on it? 353 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:48,640 Yeah. 354 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,640 "Acapulco, disco pub. Plaza de Chueca, 9." 355 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,480 "Come to the bears' foam party". 356 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,720 If Marta's address isn't on it, 357 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,040 why did Giovanni hide it? 358 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,560 Perhaps he doesn't want us to know he's gay. 359 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,520 The address has to be here somewhere. 360 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,320 I can look on his computer, I'm great with computers. 361 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,920 Shit. There's a password. 362 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,880 Are you daft? They all have passwords. 363 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,480 Some computer expert. 364 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,520 I'm really good with Excel. 365 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,080 We can get into Marta's house. 366 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,320 No, not that. 367 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:20,440 Elisa's living there. 368 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,520 Maybe she's away. 369 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,440 Yeah and maybe she's in there with my dad. 370 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:26,680 Ah ha. 371 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,320 Now what do you say? 372 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,960 Let's see how ace Rafa is at Excel. Let's go. 373 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:32,600 No, no! 374 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,080 No, no, please, wait, assholes! 375 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,280 Let's get out of here, please. 376 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,400 Yeah, as soon as we get the address. 377 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,480 I don't want to have to see things I don't want to see. 378 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,080 Something like this? 379 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:57,960 Eh, quiet. 380 00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,560 You won't believe it. 381 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,440 I just thought of something we didn't think about. 382 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,280 Right. We won't believe it. 383 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:07,960 It would be the first time ever. 384 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,440 Why don't you call Carla? 385 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:16,480 Carla! 386 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,040 I think she's pooped. 387 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,120 Why don't you change her? It'll be good practice for you. 388 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,560 Right. Cos all babies shit on you, don't they? 389 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,840 It's not like measles, right? When only some of them get it? 390 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,560 Shit, shit shit, they shit all the time. 391 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,560 And don't let them fool you, baby poo is baby poo 392 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,680 but it smells like shit. 393 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,320 I'll watch a YouTube tutorial. 394 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,920 Do you think I'm so stupid not to have thought 395 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,800 about Carla? 396 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:50,640 Hey! 397 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,000 Uh! 398 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,080 What are you doing here? 399 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:55,240 Nacho, tell him! 400 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,040 What? You know, 401 00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,520 tell him you made us come 402 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,840 for that Elisa business. Oh... 403 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,640 You came to sing "Clavelitos"? 404 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,320 Okay, I'm calling the cops. 405 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,400 No, no! 406 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:07,880 Well it's... 407 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,120 I wanted a memento. 408 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,720 So why did you pick up my tanga? 409 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,440 Come on, get out 410 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,840 and I won't say anything when she gets back from Mexico! 411 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,680 Marta's coming back from Mexico? 412 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,160 I was talking about Elisa. 413 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,320 Oh... 414 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,880 Now...you changed the baby... 415 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,120 Now... 416 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,800 it's your turn. 417 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,000 Oh...yes 418 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,680 Wonderful... 419 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,840 I admire you so much. 420 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,600 You're having a baby alone. 421 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:41,800 You are so brave. 422 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,440 I'm up to here with it and I have Diego to help me. 423 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,320 You're doing it alone. 424 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,200 You are the last one I expected 425 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,680 would have a kid on their own. 426 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:50,880 And look at you. 427 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:51,960 Alone. 428 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,320 It's crazy. 429 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,920 But the birth isn't as... 430 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,480 not as much as they say, right? 431 00:17:58,560 --> 00:17:59,560 No... 432 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:00,800 I mean... 433 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:03,760 It's something natural. 434 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,400 Like when a calf is born in those documentaries 435 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:07,680 on cows? 436 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,560 I'm not sure that thought helps. 437 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,720 Relax, the birth isn't so bad. 438 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,960 It's worse later, when you go to the bathroom 439 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,720 with 17 stitches in your... Mum! 440 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,120 I think I've had enough. 441 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,480 Don't fret... -Later you forget about it. 442 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,800 Well, not so much when you shag again. 443 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,760 But if you haven't had an episiotomy or vaginal tearing, 444 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:27,120 maybe you can 445 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,680 start to do it again... Get rid of it! 446 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,040 What? Shall I change her? 447 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,480 No, the baby. Get rid of it. 448 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,160 Why does no one mention all this? 449 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,040 Humans would become extinct. 450 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,200 I never wanted to be a mother. 451 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,280 Especially a single mother. 452 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,560 And not with your friend. 453 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:41,640 I didn't want to be a mother, 454 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:42,880 until suddenly,... 455 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,000 Can you believe that I started seeing an imaginary child? 456 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,240 You didn't call Carla, did you? 457 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,280 No I didn't call Carla. 458 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,000 I'm too embarrassed to call her just cos of this. 459 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,440 All this time and I've not called. 460 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:03,840 I have to think about it. 461 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:04,920 Think about what? 462 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,040 Have we gone nuts? 463 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,120 But you were a boy? 464 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,560 I still am. 465 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,960 And where have you been all this time? 466 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,920 Mexico. Now I'm back. 467 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,160 What? Are you going to be twins? 468 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:24,800 You should know. 469 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,560 Okay. Well this is geting too much. 470 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,760 I'm ill. I'm sick. 471 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,600 Two ghosts at the same time. 472 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:32,920 We're not ghosts. 473 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,640 We are a imaginary projection of the unconcious mind 474 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:37,720 manifesting itself in... 475 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:38,920 Get to fuck. 476 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,480 At least Diego does this. 477 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,160 Javi, is so squeamish he wouldn't go near it. 478 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,800 Ah! Speak of the devil. 479 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,640 Javi? Don't answer. 480 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,960 No, not Javi. It's Diego. 481 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,160 Hello... my love... 482 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,200 Martas's there, isn't she? Yeah. 483 00:19:58,520 --> 00:19:59,840 Yes. Your daughter is fine. 484 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,280 Your sister is changing her just now. 485 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,600 Okay, go somewhere so we can talk. 486 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,000 Oh, I can hardly hear you. 487 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,720 Wait, I'm going to see if I can get a better signal. 488 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,120 17 stitches in the... 489 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,000 I was doing so well with my imaginary child. 490 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,080 Bye bye. 491 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,640 Hey? Where are you off to? 492 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,240 You're not going to leave me alone with your kids? 493 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,600 Don't worry, they're not coming today. 494 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,360 What? 495 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:41,480 Carolina thinks you are a bad influence. 496 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,080 She's the one who is a bad influence... 497 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,560 She's bad, full stop. Nothing else to say! 498 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:48,960 She's not bad. 499 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,520 I'll be staying at her place for a few days with the kids. 500 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,280 With her? 501 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,320 No. She's going... 502 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,400 on holiday for a few days with... 503 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,000 Carlos. 504 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,720 Who is Carlos? 505 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,200 That's what I asked. 506 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,040 And she said? 507 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,560 Him with the big balls. 508 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,360 And if she asked you to jump off a bridge... 509 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:11,800 I'd ask which one. 510 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,160 Look son... it's... 511 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,480 I'm not even your son. 512 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:18,640 Oh well...it's up to you. 513 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,760 As far as I'm concerned, if you stay with her... 514 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,960 I'll save loads on making lunch. 515 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,120 And anyway, they're not my grand-kids... 516 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:27,560 No? 517 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,200 Don't worry. He'll be back. 518 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:44,880 That was easier to open. 519 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,080 Sure. It's a hand this time. 520 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,600 Please, I beg you, don't be such numbnuts 521 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:51,720 or they'll catch us again. 522 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:52,840 And as for the car... 523 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,120 No. On Thursday she always goes out with friends. 524 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,800 Let's get the pillow and split. 525 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,600 Seems like she stayed home. 526 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,200 Not in my bed! 527 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,200 It'll be better if we go. 528 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:08,560 No way! 529 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:10,960 Hello! It's Nacho. 530 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,480 Can you come out a mo'? 531 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,280 Relax, you can carry on in a sec 532 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:16,040 but I need my pillow. 533 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,280 Son, what are you doing here? 534 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,360 Dad! I can't believe it! You're sick! 535 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,840 You're in bed with my wife, your son's mother! 536 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,360 No. It's not your wife in there! 537 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:26,440 What? 538 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,040 So you're shagging Elisa, that's far worse. 539 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,000 Jesús, Are you coming back to bed? 540 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:32,440 Yeah, right away, 541 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:33,520 don't budge. 542 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,960 Elisa? Elisa ditched me the last time I spoke to you. 543 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,080 I'm living in my house in the mountains, 544 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,240 I've been there a few months. 545 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:39,640 Really? So how come you're here? 546 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,240 Well, sometimes I come to the city... on the hunt. 547 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,040 No one is at home on Thursdays. 548 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:45,680 I'm not going to a motel. 549 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,520 Is that... the pillow you're after? 550 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,360 Did you want this? -Dad! Please! 551 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,920 Okay, c'mon. Don't get nervous. 552 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,040 See you guys. Bye! 553 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,360 Ugh! 554 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:04,760 This is gonna traumatize me. 555 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:05,840 Christ. I'm not surprised. 556 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,760 If my dad had a dick like that 557 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,600 I'd be traumatized too. 558 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,040 ♪ We parted some time ago, 559 00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:28,960 ♪ but my moment to lose 560 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,440 ♪ has come. 561 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,400 ♪ You were very right. 562 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,560 ♪ I listen to my heart. 563 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,640 ♪ And I'm dying for going back. 564 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:52,600 ♪ And going back, going back, going back 565 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:57,920 ♪ to your arms once more. 566 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:02,200 ♪ I'll get to your whereabouts. 567 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:05,200 ♪ I know how to lose, to lose, 568 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:09,680 ♪ I want to go back, go back, go back. ♪ 569 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,000 Javi, what are you doing here? 570 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:16,560 You said you just wanted to send flowers 571 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:17,920 from Spain. 572 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,920 Yeah, but it's really expensive. 573 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,240 Are you daft? 574 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,600 Why didn't you let us know? 575 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,480 If I'd told you, you might not have given me the address. 576 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:25,920 Sorry, I just have to see Marta. 577 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,360 Is she inside? She's in Spain! 578 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,240 What? She went back yesterday! 579 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,440 Are you daft, why didn't you tell me? 580 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,200 I just asked you that. 581 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,960 ♪ Is completely exhilarated 582 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,080 ♪ for going back. 583 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,760 ♪ I'm on my way to madness. 584 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,360 ♪ And even if everything tortures me, 585 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:53,720 ♪ I know how to love. ♪ 586 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,800 Did she go back to look for me? 587 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,120 Yeah, she's gone looking for you. 588 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,760 Running like a crazy woman, she misses you so much. 589 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,960 The sarcastic tone, right? 590 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,880 Oh! Such beautiful flowers. 591 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,680 Who picked them? The gardener? 592 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,080 I'm not... 593 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:12,680 I got divorced. 594 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:16,080 Ah, well, take the opportunity to see a bit of Mexico. 595 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:20,920 ♪ We parted some time ago, 596 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,440 ♪ but my moment to lose 597 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,960 ♪ has come. 598 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,040 ♪ You were very right. 599 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:36,120 ♪ I listen to my heart. 600 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:41,040 ♪ And I'm dying for going back. 601 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:46,320 ♪ I want to go back, go back, go back. ♪ 602 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:47,760 It'll be Josemi. 603 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,760 I knew he'd be back blubbing at my front door. 604 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:53,320 Oh, It's you. 605 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,120 I thought I'd got rid of you. 606 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,200 Wait! 607 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,080 Is Marta here? 608 00:25:58,160 --> 00:25:59,520 She's in Mexico! 609 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,160 And I won't give you the address. Hey, Joaquín... 610 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,560 I just got back from Mexico; I know she's in Spain. 611 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,240 But I was at her place, Giovanni's place, 612 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,320 the boutique... So if she's not here? 613 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:14,280 ♪ And going back, going back, going back 614 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:19,440 ♪ to your arms again. ♪ 615 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,680 Hello? Hi. 616 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,760 Are you another buyer? No. 617 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:44,960 He's the co-owner of the property. 618 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,600 If you decide to buy it, he has to sign too. 619 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:59,120 FOR SALE 42880

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