Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:07,299
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
2
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:10,691
You know when a funeral
is really awful?
3
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,693
When it's yours.
4
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:15,696
That's me, Ray Adams-
5
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:18,991
young, gifted and dead.
6
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,993
These are my remains.
7
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:23,829
And these three
mournful brothers,
8
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,331
they're the men who killed me.
9
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:30,460
Aw, they look so sad,
don't they?
10
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,504
But this is how
they really feel.
11
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,805
But they're not
the real reason I'm dead.
12
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:45,267
These are their women.
Fine, ain't they?
13
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,686
Some families
are blessed with great genes,
14
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,522
and the Dandridge sisters
had it all.
15
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:54,318
But they're not the reason
I'm dead either. She is.
16
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:57,905
How did this sweet-faced woman
cause a man to die?
17
00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:01,116
Well, it began six months ago.
Go! Go! Go!
18
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,828
- Now Howard comes up the middle,
19
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:09,208
- breaks the tackle and gets the first down.
20
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:13,837
Hey, baby, that's really nice of you,
sweetie, but we already have some food here.
21
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:17,382
- What are you doing in here?
- Trying to watch the game that's right behind you.
22
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,801
My book club is meeting
in here tonight.
23
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,970
Baby, remember when we
talked last month?
24
00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:24,389
You said it was okay
if we watched the game.
25
00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:26,934
Oh, yeah. Eva changed all that.
She was supposed to tell you.
26
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:30,479
- Well, she didn't.
- Hey, it's the men. What are you doing here?
27
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:34,191
Are you joining our book club?
It's gonna be very enlightening.
28
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,861
Sweetness, precious,
listen.
29
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:42,074
Would it be okay, you know, if you
could take it in the other room?
30
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,576
- Because we're all settled in.
- Yeah, the other room.
31
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:48,330
- Well, I guess we could.
- You got a great girl!
32
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,708
I love you, baby.
No! No, we cannot!
33
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,710
Oh, yeah- Oh.
34
00:04:57,923 --> 00:05:00,801
Michael, Timothy, Darrell.
35
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:04,221
Our book club
is reading Beloved,
36
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:08,100
and we're gonna need the television
to watch the film when we're done.
37
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:11,728
Oh, yeah, that's right,
honey. We need the room.
38
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:17,568
You did not tell me you wanted
to use the room in my house, Eva.
39
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:23,031
Well, I'm telling you
right now, Timothy.
40
00:05:23,115 --> 00:05:25,284
And it is half
my sister's house too.
41
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,327
Community property.
42
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,831
See, 'cause I want Kareenah to make
a good impression on the book club.
43
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,708
Don't you?
No!
44
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:36,003
- Excuse me?
- Yes.
45
00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:41,300
Look, we were
here first, Eva.
46
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:44,386
Yes, but certainly the temporal
proximity of our advents...
47
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,097
isn't determinative, is it?
48
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,979
- I'll get back to you on that one.
- Yeah.
49
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,274
Do you know what
she just said right there?
50
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:02,029
- You don't get to me with your $50 words, Eva.
- That's right.
51
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:06,658
What would you say if I
demanded you to leave this room?
52
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,660
Yeah.
Yeah.
53
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:12,372
I would say I find your particular
brand of crack very amusing.
54
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,375
This isn't about a book...
55
00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,544
versus a football game, fellas.
56
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:21,256
Oh, no. This is about men
versus women.
57
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,342
Women who aspire to culture...
58
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:25,969
and men who aspire
to scratch themselves.
59
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:29,139
Women who bear the burdens in life
and men who create those burdens.
60
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:33,644
Women who uplift humanity
and men who uplift lap dances.
61
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,646
If society were left
to the whims of men,
62
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:38,273
we'd still be in caves carving
pictures with our non-opposable thumbs.
63
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:42,069
So, today, gentlemen,
64
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,655
is the day
for civilized behavior.
65
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:49,368
Today we women raise our voices against
tyranny, crudeness and play-off games.
66
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:52,246
And that is it, gentlemen.
67
00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:56,375
End of story. The fat lady's
singing! Out of the room.
68
00:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,295
By the way, if any of that was lost upon
you, then I've just proven my point again.
69
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:03,507
Excuse me.
70
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,260
Kareenah, baby,
71
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:09,012
I am putting
my foot down.
72
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:16,019
Damn! Damn!
I can't stand her.
73
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:19,147
I can't stand her either, but
you really need to calm down.
74
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:22,943
You're making me stressed. You need
to stand up to your wife, Timothy.
75
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,779
It's like she tookyour balls
and turned them into earrings.
76
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,823
Your wife is bling-blingin'
with your nuts.
77
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:30,325
This is what we get for being
with Eva's little sisters.
78
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,119
They could never stand up
to us without Eva.
79
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:35,706
I really did think I was getting
one of the fabulous Dandridge girls.
80
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,000
I didn't know it came with
the sister-in-law from hell.
81
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,919
You gotta admit, they were the
finest women in the neighborhood.
82
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,423
We used to say their daddy's johnson
- Should be bronzed. Right.
83
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:46,425
Did you notice how they
stuck together in an argument?
84
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:49,761
One for all and all for Eva.
That's how they're getting down.
85
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:52,055
Come on, fellas. We need
to be more compassionate.
86
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,516
Their parents died when they
were young and left them alone,
87
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,894
so they have to stick together. Yeah.
88
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,438
I should've used that argument to
get on Eva about that Dandridge fund.
89
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,982
- You know what? I would've done it.
- Look at you cosigning.
90
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:05,777
Mike, please, you need to
let that go. Every time. Okay.
91
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,864
They've been putting money in that
account ever since they were teenagers.
92
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,866
- What are they doing with it? Nothing.
- Step away from my man.
93
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,826
I bet they don't even know
how much is in there.
94
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:17,664
- There's no need for this.
- If he's your man, then what's he doing here with me?
95
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:20,709
Charity work, heifer.
Look- Look- Hey, hey, hey!
96
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,170
This is just
a big misunderstanding, okay?
97
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:26,715
Fellas, I know that brother.
Yo, Ray!
98
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,009
Hey!
99
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:31,595
I didn't even know
he was back in town.
100
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,805
You should be mad at me,
not each other.
101
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:37,142
I've been dating both of you, and
- True, we don't have a commitment.
102
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:40,062
But I couldn't decide
between you. Hey, fellas.
103
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:43,273
I think he might be the man
to rid us of Eva.
104
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:47,236
That dude? Aw, hell, no. You'd
be better off getting Ike Turner.
105
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:50,197
They're about to cuss his ass out
and leave him high and dry. Watch.
106
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:52,783
- Yeah, he's right.
- Let's go, all right?
107
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,785
Oh, me too?
Uh-huh.
108
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,496
- Get out of here!
- Be right back.
109
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,623
- Did you see that? Did you see that?
- Wow!
110
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:03,502
- Good to see you, man.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
111
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,880
Fellas, he said he'll meet us
here the day after tomorrow.
112
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:09,341
So he's a freak.
How does that help us with Eva?
113
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,219
- Eva just needs a man.
- Come on, now.
114
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:15,639
Remember, we tried that?
Remember Rashaun? Yeah.
115
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,016
All I said was,
you was a little uptight.
116
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,018
But I like that though.
117
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:23,480
So it was like a compliment
in reverse.
118
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:26,692
Oh, reverse. Right. I see. Yeah. Yeah.
119
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:29,820
You feeling me.
Yeah, sure.
120
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:33,699
Did you know that female spiders eat
the male when she's done with him?
121
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:37,327
Yeah. They date, they laugh, and then
she turns his ass into a crab cake.
122
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,789
Now, while the prospect of biting
your head off makes me happy,
123
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:44,084
I am sure that ultimately
you are not a Happy Meal.
124
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,253
So, I'm moving on
to better cuisine.
125
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:48,297
Good-bye, Rashaun.
126
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:51,049
Eva, wait. You're just
gonna say good-bye?
127
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:56,013
Oh, no, it's not good-bye.
It's hello in reverse.
128
00:09:56,096 --> 00:10:00,267
Eva. Come on, girl.
129
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:05,105
- Eva put that man in the mental ward.
- You're always exaggerating.
130
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:08,817
Eva drove the brother insane.
I seen him last week.
131
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:12,321
Dude sound like Ron Hopper.
Now he t-t-talk like th-th-this.
132
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,781
This can work with Ray.
The boy is a specialist.
133
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:16,783
He is a master player.
134
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:19,870
Listen, Ray can get Eva
to let go ofher sisters.
135
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:24,208
Then when it's just us and
them, we can have all their love.
136
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,502
- Right, right.
- We can get him to seduce her.
137
00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:29,588
- Yes! - 'Cause all she really
needs is some you- know-what.
138
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:32,382
Hold up. What Eva really
needs is a sensitive man-
139
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,426
somebody that can help her
with her personality problems.
140
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:38,555
What she needs is a dude that can hit that
ass till she starts speaking in tongues.
141
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,558
- Amen.
142
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,978
Right, right, right.
Can Ray do that?
143
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,272
Okay, later,
after we finish doing it,
144
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,817
we're gonna lie together and hold
each other and talk for a while, right?
145
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:55,697
Okay. We can do it, but
I have to study. Come on.
146
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:59,451
Eva says if I stick to a study schedule
- Don't say the "E" word.
147
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:02,829
- Not in this house.
- I have to stick to my study schedule, okay?
148
00:11:02,955 --> 00:11:06,333
All of us agreed. What is
with you Dandridge women?
149
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,920
I love my sisters, okay?
I'm sorry.
150
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,506
I love you too.
It's just in a different way.
151
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:17,052
Okay. Then I demand that you love
me the same way that you love them.
152
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:20,264
You and them-
it's like apples and oranges.
153
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:24,226
What? Lady, I am your husband,
okay? I pledged my life to you...
154
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:27,437
before God and a bunch of ugly
- ass relatives I don't even like.
155
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:31,483
I gave up all my wild ways for you,
and, baby, I had a hell of a lot of them.
156
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:34,945
I never told you about the roses and the
butt-naked midgets or none of that shit.
157
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:38,115
I had midget pros in different area codes. Uh
- huh.
158
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:42,077
Therefore, I demands
to be a damn orange.
159
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,539
You can stop playing now.
You know what? Fine.
160
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:48,292
If a brother can't be an orange,
then you're cut off.
161
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,879
I'm cut off? For real?
Yeah. That's right. Back up.
162
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:53,881
I'm cut off? You gonna
cut me off? Don't touch me.
163
00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:56,633
Don't do that. Don't do it. Oh, damn.
164
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,011
Don't do this. Don't.
165
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:01,889
Oh, damn,
the flesh is weak. Oh.
166
00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:04,141
Mmm.
167
00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:07,186
Up.
168
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:11,023
Down.
169
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:20,949
Right there.
170
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,871
- I have a dreadful problem. I need your help.
171
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:28,457
- Gosh, you're doing it.
- How the hell did you get in here?
172
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:31,168
Jacqui gave me a key
in case of an emergency.
173
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:34,922
- Are you okay?
- Don't mind us. We're just having sex.
174
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:37,299
So I should just come back in,
what, two minutes?
175
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:40,302
- Is it really important?
- Get your ass out!
176
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:45,516
- Just give us one minute.
- Oh,just one minute? Damn, it's worse than I thought.
177
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:50,187
Man, what the
- She probably had a bad day or something.
178
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,189
Look, hold on.
Where you going?
179
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:56,068
Eva needs me. But we need you too! No-
180
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,695
Wait a minute!
Damn you, Eva!
181
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:06,578
- So,you two still talking about having a baby?
- Shh.
182
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,580
Not so loud.
183
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:11,875
IfTim even hears the word
"baby," he jumps on top of me.
184
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:14,294
Oh, that's just
his male biological clock.
185
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,256
It's when a man begins having
baby fever, like a woman.
186
00:13:17,381 --> 00:13:19,341
I read about it
in Psychology Today.
187
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,553
All I know is that every time we
argue about it, he ends up drinking.
188
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,722
The drinking
isn't serious, is it?
189
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,724
No, but-
190
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:33,605
Well, you know, his father
had a drinking problem. Mmm.
191
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,149
Mmm. Ah! What do you think I should do?
192
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:38,402
I don't like getting in
married people's business.
193
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:42,364
There's nothing wrong with a grown
man having an occasional drink.
194
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,533
Mmm.
195
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:47,744
Although a study did show that a
drinking problem can be hereditary.
196
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:51,081
You don't want your baby coming out of the
womb talking about, "Where the liquor at?"
197
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,250
It wouldn't be right.
198
00:13:57,212 --> 00:14:00,507
Oh, hey, hey, hey. Baby,
I was still drinking that.
199
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:03,719
Honey, I know, but you shouldn't
drink so much, you know?
200
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:07,639
Eva and I werejust talking, and
- This is not what you need.
201
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:10,726
Do you wanna do the breathing
exercises Bethany talked about?
202
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,395
I don't wanna breathe. I just
want a drink. I want that drink.
203
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,523
Baby, I don't like
to bring up the past,
204
00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:18,984
but you know that little problem
your daddy has.
205
00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:23,864
- I'm not my father.
- Oh, sweetie, I know. I know.
206
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:26,825
It's just, tonight,
no more drinking for me.
207
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:30,954
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Baby, can I just-
208
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,443
Aw, come on, honey. Sing
it with me. Please? No.
209
00:15:01,527 --> 00:15:04,196
It's our theme song. Aw, party
- poop. No. No. No. No.
210
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,745
Hey, I'm in here! Get out of
here!
211
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:15,207
I hate that damn song!
Yeah! Smell that! Ew!
212
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,048
This is Ray Adams,
y'all. What's happening?
213
00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:07,551
I thought you moved to Florida. I did.
214
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,596
I worked at a car dealership down
there, but that was a year ago.
215
00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:12,598
I never keep a job
more than a year.
216
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:15,893
- I work for Jomo's Meats in L.A. now.
- I know Jomo's.
217
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:18,770
Why do you quit your job every
year? What's that about, brother?
218
00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:23,233
Well, I have to service
my many talents. Oh.
219
00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:25,944
I was brought up an orphan.
No mama, no daddy.
220
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:27,988
No ties.
That's how I do it.
221
00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:31,074
If you guys hadn't noticed,
Ray is quite the player.
222
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,453
- As we saw the other night.
- Yeah. Love your work, baby.
223
00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:37,164
You ought to be exempt
from taxes for that shit.
224
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:40,542
Nothing Mike couldn't do. No,
I turned in my player card.
225
00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:44,463
I'm practically engaged to
a beautiful woman named Bethany.
226
00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:46,798
Congratulations.
Thank you, thank you.
227
00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:49,885
She's gorgeous too, but not
as fine as her sister, Eva.
228
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:53,680
- Yeah, I can't even front.
- I wish I was good enough for Eva.
229
00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:56,350
- I wish I was her garbage, man. Look.
- Pow!
230
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:03,273
She's cute. But why is
she scowling like that?
231
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,235
Her face is so tight.
That's her sexy smirk.
232
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:08,779
She ain't scowling.
Right. Right.
233
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:11,782
W-W-What's c-c-cracking,
f-fellas?
234
00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:13,784
B-Bitch!
235
00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:16,620
Whoa!
Bitch!
236
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,747
Hey! Hey!
237
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,667
Back over here, man.
Don't pay the retard-
238
00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:23,669
The drinking
- He got out early. That's all.
239
00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:27,214
Ray, how would you like
to meet Eva?
240
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,425
- Is she giving it up?
- "Is she giving it up?"
241
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:35,013
- Man, she's double-jointed. - She's
lookin' up at her feet every night.
242
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:38,851
- Bumping her head on the headboard, all that.
- That's right.
243
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:42,271
So I only have one question:
What's wrong with her?
244
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,692
Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing.
245
00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:49,027
So three grown men
walk into a bar...
246
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:52,072
to hook up a man
for a perfectly good woman.
247
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:55,576
What is it? She got five kids, a violent ex
- con boyfriend?
248
00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:59,621
Is she one of those evil, nasty sisters
who beats a brother down till he's dust?
249
00:17:59,705 --> 00:18:02,875
- What is it?
- It's the ex- con thing, bro.
250
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,670
- Darrell!
- Ray, Ray, look, I gotta be honest with you.
251
00:18:06,837 --> 00:18:12,050
Eva is a piece of work, but we're prepared
to make it worth your while to take her out.
252
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:14,511
You're gonna pay me
to go out with her?
253
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,513
Are you worried that that
makes you look like a gigolo?
254
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:20,434
- No. I mean, I kind of like that aspect.
- Okay!
255
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,353
All right.
I'm in a financial bind.
256
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,439
My landlord is selling my house.
I need cash to buy it.
257
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:29,109
Man, that is perfect. Then we
all can benefit from this deal.
258
00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:31,695
Here's what we need you to do:
Take her out for a couple of months.
259
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,822
Not just distract her,
but make her fall hard for you.
260
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,366
I can definitely do that.
And I love a challenge.
261
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,368
Really, she can't be
all that bad, can she?
262
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:42,164
Eva's sisters gave her a cross
with Jesus on it for her birthday.
263
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:45,959
- The next day,Jesus was gone.
- You're kidding, right?
264
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:48,754
No. When you do it, you have to
make her fall in love with you,
265
00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:51,006
then you tell her you're leaving
town and get her to go with you.
266
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,175
- Then you can dump her. It'll take her years to relocate.
- Yes!
267
00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:58,096
Time out. I'm sorry. This ain't
my kind of thing, you know.
268
00:18:58,222 --> 00:19:01,642
I'm a lover, not a con man. Mike,
let's hang out sometime, okay?
269
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,644
But, Ray-
Get him a drink.
270
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,729
Take another look at her.
That's not a zero.
271
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,689
But think about it, Ray.
272
00:19:07,773 --> 00:19:10,609
You just had to bring up
theJesus thing.
273
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:13,237
He got muscles. I didn't
think he'd be scared of her.
274
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:22,996
Hey, I went out with that construction
guy yesterday. The cute one?
275
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:26,083
Mm-hmm. And you know
we ended up in the bed.
276
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:28,418
Did he have to take a number,
or was the line moving briskly?
277
00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:31,338
Ooh!
278
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:33,799
No, no, tell it, please.
Ormandy, go.
279
00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:37,928
Thank you, Eva.
Honey, he dropped his pants,
280
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,681
and he whipped it out
all proud.
281
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:44,101
And I said, "Oh, no.
Where's the rest of it?"
282
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:49,022
Ya have to put man in place
sometime, ya hear that?
283
00:19:49,106 --> 00:19:52,568
- Did she just call me a bitch?
- Right.
284
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,820
What's up?
285
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:58,156
- Hey!
286
00:19:58,282 --> 00:20:00,242
Hey, baby.
287
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:04,121
Listen, Eva, I need to have a little
talk with you about the Dandridge fund.
288
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,373
Why is that, Michael?
You're not in our family.
289
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,959
- But I'm almost in.
- Almost isn't in, now, is it?
290
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:13,005
Mike, honey, do you really want
to get into an argument...
291
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,007
with a woman in here, hmm?
292
00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:19,219
Got some Frosted Mini-Wheats
in your scalp. Hey! You're fine.
293
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:22,806
You're right, baby. You got
that thing for me? Oh, yeah.
294
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,689
Fiber? "Fiber Power."
295
00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:34,067
Are you okay, Mike?
Is everything moving all right?
296
00:20:34,151 --> 00:20:36,945
He's a little irregular. All right.
You don't have to announce it.
297
00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:41,241
- Hey, I got somethin'for that.
- And if she can't fix you, I know I can.
298
00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:44,620
You need to quit, Telly, 'cause I
ain't even close to going your way.
299
00:20:44,703 --> 00:20:46,830
Damn.
Let me call headquarters.
300
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:50,334
Hello. Yeah, it's me.
Listen, take Mike off the list.
301
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,294
Mm-hmm.
302
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:55,964
Sixty-nine out.
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
303
00:20:56,131 --> 00:21:00,511
I should've never came to this
place, better known as "Man Hell."
304
00:21:00,636 --> 00:21:03,096
No, this is
a female sanctuary.
305
00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:06,850
- Way the whole world ought to be.
Ain't that right, ladies? - Mm-hmm.
306
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,852
See you.
Bye.
307
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:11,063
Get some milk for them cornflakes. Hey.
308
00:21:11,188 --> 00:21:15,776
You should start making him take better care
ofhimself if you guys are gonna get married.
309
00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:20,155
He should get a colonic or see a
specialist. And I know a good one.
310
00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:35,379
Hey, got your order.
Where do you want it?
311
00:21:35,504 --> 00:21:38,298
Freezer number one.
Make sure you stack them neatly.
312
00:21:41,093 --> 00:21:43,011
Excuse me.
313
00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:50,018
Hello.
Where's Leonard?
314
00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:52,271
He's sick. I'm Oscar,
the assistant manager.
315
00:21:52,396 --> 00:21:56,275
Okay, Oscar, I'm Inspector
Dandridge from the health department.
316
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,862
Yes, I've heard about you.
Good. Then you know the drill.
317
00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:12,082
Let's get clean.
318
00:22:27,306 --> 00:22:30,726
It does not look good,
Oscar.
319
00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,020
I found contamination
in red zones.
320
00:22:33,145 --> 00:22:35,147
Your glass freezer door
has a hairline break in it.
321
00:22:35,272 --> 00:22:37,983
And I found black pellets behind
the food containers in the back.
322
00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:41,820
That is probably just graphite
from the new units we put in.
323
00:22:41,945 --> 00:22:44,573
Your water's only 105 degrees.
Can you just let that slide?
324
00:22:44,656 --> 00:22:47,701
The requirement is 110,
because science tells us...
325
00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:50,996
at that temperature all
dangerous organisms will die.
326
00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:55,709
That means in your water, some will
live. And not just any germs, Oscar.
327
00:22:55,792 --> 00:23:00,047
No. The bad-ass ones, the ones that can
swim in 1 05- degree-temperature water...
328
00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:02,257
and live to party on
some child's french fries.
329
00:23:02,341 --> 00:23:04,551
We don't serve fries.
Are you mocking me?
330
00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:07,471
No, ma'am. That's good,
because I'm not done yet.
331
00:23:07,596 --> 00:23:10,641
This entire kitchen gets a level
four sanitation or you get written up.
332
00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:14,478
What? No, that means
it's in the newspaper.
333
00:23:14,603 --> 00:23:18,148
Thank goodness for you I've
got a soft heart. Heart?
334
00:23:18,273 --> 00:23:20,400
You don't have a heart.
335
00:23:20,484 --> 00:23:24,488
You got a hole with an ice pump in
it. You know, I don't understand you.
336
00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:27,241
Why do you have to be
so goddamn uncompromising?
337
00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:31,495
It's called principle,
Oscar.
338
00:23:31,620 --> 00:23:33,830
Maybe the world is in
short supply, but I am not.
339
00:23:33,914 --> 00:23:36,166
People pay their tax dollars
for my principle...
340
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,544
so they can go into a restaurant
and not eat chicken fried rat...
341
00:23:38,669 --> 00:23:40,838
or bite into a bacon,
lettuce and ptomaine sandwich.
342
00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:43,298
If I slack up on you, then I
have to cut everyone a break,
343
00:23:43,382 --> 00:23:45,801
and pretty soon, the almonds
on your salad have legs.
344
00:23:45,884 --> 00:23:49,888
If that makes me uncompromising,
well, I wear it as a badge of honor,
345
00:23:50,013 --> 00:23:51,932
because I'm in
damn good company.
346
00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:55,853
Martin Luther King was uncompromising,
Nelson Mandela was uncompromising,
347
00:23:55,936 --> 00:23:58,105
and I'm sure your mother
was uncompromising,
348
00:23:58,188 --> 00:24:00,607
although the evidence of that
is not apparent today.
349
00:24:00,691 --> 00:24:04,361
So, why don't you think of me
as your mom right now?
350
00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:07,197
And Mama says,
"Clean it up!"
351
00:24:08,198 --> 00:24:10,576
See you in 48 hours.
352
00:24:13,996 --> 00:24:17,332
All right.
I'll go on the date with Eva.
353
00:24:17,416 --> 00:24:22,379
Mmm! Yes! Yes! What made
you change your mind, Ray?
354
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:24,506
I saw her
at a restaurant.
355
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:27,259
If I can get that woman, I'll go
down in the Player Hall of Fame.
356
00:24:27,384 --> 00:24:29,970
You sure will.
Okay, okay.
357
00:24:30,053 --> 00:24:32,431
So what's your price? I need
five grand to get the house.
358
00:24:32,556 --> 00:24:36,685
Five thousand dollars? I
don't know, man. Hey, hey, hey-
359
00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:39,938
Forty-five, what did you say
about five thousand dollars?
360
00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:42,399
Um, I said,
361
00:24:42,524 --> 00:24:45,986
"Five pounds
of collard greens, man.
362
00:24:46,069 --> 00:24:48,447
No ham."
Ordering soul food.
363
00:24:48,572 --> 00:24:51,617
Five thousand dollars?
Yes, man.
364
00:24:51,742 --> 00:24:53,785
I saw her in action.
You're getting off cheap.
365
00:24:53,911 --> 00:24:57,414
I don't know. I gotta talk
to the guys about this, Ray.
366
00:24:57,539 --> 00:25:00,209
All right. Well, let me know. I'm ready.
367
00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:02,461
Ooh.
368
00:25:02,586 --> 00:25:05,589
Thank you. Thank you.
369
00:25:05,589 --> 00:25:08,425
- I want to talk to you for a second, Eva.
- What about, sir?
370
00:25:08,509 --> 00:25:11,512
I was offered a position as
deputy health inspector in Chicago.
371
00:25:12,763 --> 00:25:15,140
- That's great.
- I'm not taking the job,
372
00:25:15,265 --> 00:25:17,392
but I think
you should consider it.
373
00:25:17,518 --> 00:25:19,436
Me, Theo?
374
00:25:19,561 --> 00:25:23,982
The representative from Chicago's been here
all week checking out my best inspectors.
375
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:27,819
- He liked you. Send in Mr. Tillman.
- Yes, sir.
376
00:25:29,321 --> 00:25:32,658
- Oh, goodness.
- Hello, Eva.
377
00:25:32,783 --> 00:25:35,494
- You were checking me out the other day.
- Yes, I was.
378
00:25:35,619 --> 00:25:38,080
And you were amazing.
379
00:25:38,205 --> 00:25:40,207
You passed
with flying colors.
380
00:25:40,290 --> 00:25:44,253
I should have worn my diaper.
Chicago's a tough town.
381
00:25:44,336 --> 00:25:48,131
- We need our inspectors to have your intensity.
- Okay!
382
00:25:48,215 --> 00:25:50,968
- I'm at a loss for words.
- And that doesn't happen often.
383
00:25:51,093 --> 00:25:53,762
You don't have to
say anything now.
384
00:25:53,929 --> 00:25:55,806
I've still got a few more candidates
in other cities to look at.
385
00:25:55,931 --> 00:25:58,684
But I'll let you know in a few
weeks when I make my decision.
386
00:25:58,767 --> 00:26:02,312
Meeting you was...
an experience.
387
00:26:03,605 --> 00:26:07,025
Uh, Theo.
Right. Bye.
388
00:26:08,485 --> 00:26:10,821
That's great. I wanted your
job, but this is way better.
389
00:26:10,946 --> 00:26:13,907
- Oh, my God!
- This will be very exciting for you.
390
00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:16,034
Better job,
more money in a new city.
391
00:26:16,118 --> 00:26:18,120
Yeah, my sisters are-
392
00:26:19,288 --> 00:26:22,708
- What?
- Nothing.
393
00:26:22,791 --> 00:26:24,918
I'm sure they're gonna be
really happy for me.
394
00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:27,462
Thank you
for recommending me.
395
00:26:27,588 --> 00:26:30,716
Thanks.
396
00:26:30,841 --> 00:26:33,051
I will see you in two weeks. Thank you.
397
00:26:33,135 --> 00:26:35,053
Great.
Bye.
398
00:26:35,137 --> 00:26:37,431
How come I can never get
my toes done on girls'night?
399
00:26:37,556 --> 00:26:39,474
'Cause it's only
for the Dandridge sisters.
400
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:43,353
- And nobody wants to
touch your funky-ass feet. -
401
00:26:44,813 --> 00:26:49,151
Oh! Ladies, ladies,
guess who I saw.
402
00:26:49,234 --> 00:26:51,528
Lucius Johnson.
403
00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:53,572
- Lucious Lucius.
- Hmm.
404
00:26:53,655 --> 00:26:56,200
I wouldn't mind
seeing him again.
405
00:26:56,325 --> 00:26:59,203
Me neither.
I wonder if he's married.
406
00:26:59,328 --> 00:27:02,122
Eva, are you okay?
407
00:27:02,206 --> 00:27:04,291
Yeah, sure.
Why wouldn't I be?
408
00:27:04,416 --> 00:27:07,252
- Are you still stuck on Lucius?
- No! G-God!
409
00:27:07,336 --> 00:27:09,838
Come on. Ancient history. Eva,
410
00:27:09,963 --> 00:27:14,092
once you give a man some of
your energy, he always has it.
411
00:27:14,176 --> 00:27:16,929
- Well, yeah.
- Especially if he popped that cherry.
412
00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:19,014
- Pop, pop, pop!
- No, no, no!
413
00:27:19,097 --> 00:27:23,018
- There was no pop, pop, popping of any cherries, Ormandy.
414
00:27:23,101 --> 00:27:26,396
Lucius was my first,
and I was his. That's all.
415
00:27:26,522 --> 00:27:28,774
Listen, the best way
to get over an old man-
416
00:27:28,857 --> 00:27:31,193
Is to get under a new one.
417
00:27:31,318 --> 00:27:34,571
Yeah! I am not thinking about Lucius.
418
00:27:34,696 --> 00:27:37,699
Okay?
It's girls'night, right?
419
00:27:37,866 --> 00:27:41,787
I'm sure that a group of intelligent...
women can come together...
420
00:27:41,912 --> 00:27:45,207
and talk about something
besides men.
421
00:27:47,334 --> 00:27:52,381
- Sad.
422
00:27:52,506 --> 00:27:55,676
Well, Tim did introduce me to
somebody new in his department.
423
00:27:55,759 --> 00:27:58,345
- Do you wanna meet him?
- I do need a date...
424
00:27:58,428 --> 00:28:01,473
to the mayor's formal
fund-raiser in a couple weeks.
425
00:28:01,557 --> 00:28:04,101
All right. I'll bite.
What are his vitals?
426
00:28:04,226 --> 00:28:07,896
Thirty-six, divorced, two kids.
I hear he's in group therapy.
427
00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:09,982
- Pass -
Mmm. - Uh-uh.
428
00:28:10,065 --> 00:28:12,401
Girl, messed-up men
are the best ones.
429
00:28:12,526 --> 00:28:17,406
- A messed-up man is redundant.
- I don't need to be set up, okay?
430
00:28:17,489 --> 00:28:19,533
I'm good.
I prayed on this.
431
00:28:19,616 --> 00:28:21,910
God- God is gonna
take care of it.
432
00:28:21,994 --> 00:28:23,912
God ain't shipping out
no men.
433
00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:27,249
Like hell he ain't.
Look here, when you talk to God,
434
00:28:27,374 --> 00:28:31,336
tell him a sister needs
a tall, fine one.
435
00:28:31,420 --> 00:28:36,008
- And not gay.
- You know you want the soul pole.
436
00:28:36,091 --> 00:28:39,219
No, he didn't. No, he didn't! Bam!
437
00:28:39,344 --> 00:28:43,223
A star for a star.
438
00:28:43,307 --> 00:28:46,768
You shouldn't let Eva stop us
from moving in together, Beth.
439
00:28:48,145 --> 00:28:50,689
See, I just don't sense
that we're spiritually...
440
00:28:50,772 --> 00:28:54,234
in tune with each other...
completely.
441
00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:57,988
And besides,
we're not married. Hmm?
442
00:28:58,113 --> 00:29:00,866
I'm not gonna propose
just to spend the night.
443
00:29:00,949 --> 00:29:03,535
Okay. Have I ever
pressured you about that?
444
00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:07,706
Of course not.
445
00:29:10,125 --> 00:29:14,296
And Eva says cohabitation does not increase
the chances of a lasting relationship.
446
00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:17,007
Oh, my God. Will you stop
it with the "Evaisms"?
447
00:29:17,132 --> 00:29:19,635
That woman with her statistics
and her philosophy- Mike, honey-
448
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:23,597
She's very intelligent.
Don't hate on her for it.
449
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,475
If she's so smart, why doesn't
she dissolve the fund...
450
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,810
and let you live your own lives
with your own money?
451
00:29:28,936 --> 00:29:32,981
You know what? This is stress.
You wanna do some meditation, hmm?
452
00:29:33,106 --> 00:29:37,236
No. No meditation.
453
00:29:37,319 --> 00:29:39,947
Stress is why your colon
is all clogged up.
454
00:29:40,030 --> 00:29:42,324
Thanks to Eva's doctor,
my colon is a freeway.
455
00:29:45,494 --> 00:29:49,289
Look, all I wanna do
is spend the night with you...
456
00:29:49,373 --> 00:29:52,251
and not have to get up in the middle
of the night like some criminal.
457
00:29:53,710 --> 00:29:55,671
I enjoy spending time
with you.
458
00:29:57,089 --> 00:29:59,675
I love the way you blink.
459
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,760
I love that smile.
460
00:30:04,346 --> 00:30:06,306
I love you.
461
00:30:12,354 --> 00:30:14,857
I love you too.
462
00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:18,235
But why should a man buy the software
when he can download for free?
463
00:30:20,571 --> 00:30:23,365
That is Eva talking. That is
not you talking. No, actually-
464
00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:25,659
Jacqui said it,
but it doesn't matter.
465
00:30:25,784 --> 00:30:30,038
You know, Eva took charge of the
family after our parents died.
466
00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:36,712
If we wanna have a child, it
should be our decision, not Eva's.
467
00:30:36,837 --> 00:30:41,383
All she said was that most marriages
fail within the first five years.
468
00:30:41,508 --> 00:30:44,845
Fifty-two percent. We've
only been married for three.
469
00:30:44,928 --> 00:30:47,181
If we had a baby
and something were to go wrong,
470
00:30:47,264 --> 00:30:50,100
then there's an innocent life
hanging in the balance of our failure.
471
00:30:50,225 --> 00:30:53,770
Nothing... is going...
472
00:30:53,896 --> 00:30:56,523
to go... wrong.
473
00:30:56,648 --> 00:30:58,692
Mmm. Hmm?
474
00:30:58,817 --> 00:31:02,404
Besides,you know I didn't have a
good relationship with my father.
475
00:31:02,529 --> 00:31:06,491
Honey, I know, but-
And all I want...
476
00:31:06,575 --> 00:31:10,037
is my chance...
to be a good daddy,
477
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:13,832
to have
a little brown bundle...
478
00:31:13,916 --> 00:31:17,920
of love... and life.
479
00:31:19,087 --> 00:31:22,216
And I want it
because I love you.
480
00:31:24,218 --> 00:31:27,429
Now, tell me,
is that so wrong?
481
00:31:27,554 --> 00:31:30,140
Fifty-two percent.
482
00:31:30,265 --> 00:31:32,267
Honey,
Eva gives great advice.
483
00:31:32,351 --> 00:31:34,269
She put me through med school,
you know?
484
00:31:34,353 --> 00:31:36,980
God, do I know that!
485
00:31:37,105 --> 00:31:39,441
You know what?
You're not married to me.
486
00:31:39,525 --> 00:31:42,778
You're married to Eva. I'm
just a handyman with a penis.
487
00:31:42,861 --> 00:31:46,114
Tim, like you ever fix
anything around here!
488
00:31:49,451 --> 00:31:51,453
What- What did I say?
489
00:32:29,867 --> 00:32:32,828
I cannot believe we are paying
five grand to this man.
490
00:32:32,953 --> 00:32:35,414
Just think of it as an investment.
491
00:32:35,539 --> 00:32:39,084
Once Eva's gone, we'll all be happy.
492
00:32:41,879 --> 00:32:45,716
It was a great idea-you having
him meet Eva at church.
493
00:32:45,841 --> 00:32:48,677
- She is going to love that.
- Well-
494
00:32:48,802 --> 00:32:51,430
Fellas, I don't think we should
be talking about this here.
495
00:32:51,513 --> 00:32:56,476
God might hear us. God
made Eva, so we're even.
496
00:32:56,602 --> 00:32:58,645
Speaking of which, where is this guy?
497
00:32:58,770 --> 00:33:00,981
Church is almost over.
498
00:33:01,064 --> 00:33:04,443
Tim, this is a black church.
It's never over.
499
00:33:22,961 --> 00:33:25,088
Excuse me.
500
00:33:27,049 --> 00:33:29,176
Yo, what took you
so long?
501
00:33:29,301 --> 00:33:31,553
I'm not the churchgoing type.
You people get up early.
502
00:33:31,678 --> 00:33:35,349
Nice job with the choir,
Eva, girl. They were bangin'.
503
00:33:35,474 --> 00:33:39,937
You know, Reverend, your sermon
today was great. I mean, bang-up job.
504
00:33:40,062 --> 00:33:42,648
Although you did miss a word of
that verse from the Book of Acts.
505
00:33:42,773 --> 00:33:45,400
I think I was the only one who
caught it, and, well, God, of course.
506
00:33:45,567 --> 00:33:48,487
So I took the liberty of
jotting down a few suggestions...
507
00:33:48,570 --> 00:33:52,032
on how you can do better
in the future. Say what?
508
00:33:52,157 --> 00:33:54,952
My child, please.
I appreciate that.
509
00:33:55,077 --> 00:33:57,329
But you know what?
I got this.
510
00:33:57,412 --> 00:34:00,249
- Praise the Lord.
511
00:34:00,374 --> 00:34:03,126
Praise him. Eva, we're
all waiting for you.
512
00:34:03,252 --> 00:34:06,922
Can't you see I'm busy, Michael?
I am speaking with the reverend.
513
00:34:07,047 --> 00:34:08,924
Oh, no, no, honey.
Please, go.
514
00:34:09,049 --> 00:34:12,261
Go back to your friends.
Please- No. Go.
515
00:34:12,427 --> 00:34:15,305
Actually, Reverend, I needed to
talk to you and get your advice...
516
00:34:15,430 --> 00:34:19,142
for a friend of mine who has a
dilemma about a job she's considering.
517
00:34:19,268 --> 00:34:22,563
Mmm. I've got people who have
much bigger problems, Eva.
518
00:34:22,646 --> 00:34:28,151
People whose souls need to be saved
from eternal damnation. Stuff like that.
519
00:34:28,277 --> 00:34:31,238
A soul lasts forever,
Reverend, and this job may not.
520
00:34:31,321 --> 00:34:34,533
Please, I need to tell her
what to do. Tell your friend I-
521
00:34:35,784 --> 00:34:37,661
Follow her heart.
522
00:34:37,786 --> 00:34:42,624
Now, please, excuse me.
523
00:34:42,749 --> 00:34:45,169
Amen.
524
00:34:46,879 --> 00:34:49,756
Eva, this is Ray Adams,
a friend of mine.
525
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,926
Hello.
Hello, Raymond.
526
00:34:53,051 --> 00:34:56,054
Call me Ray. No one calls me
Raymond. Well, I do, Raymond.
527
00:34:56,138 --> 00:34:59,474
What's so funny?
528
00:34:59,558 --> 00:35:02,853
I love a woman
who speaks her mind.
529
00:35:02,978 --> 00:35:05,189
My girlfriend's the same way.
530
00:35:05,314 --> 00:35:07,691
Oh. Well, good for her.
531
00:35:07,816 --> 00:35:11,028
Ray, I didn't know
you were seeing anyone.
532
00:35:11,153 --> 00:35:14,114
Oh, yeah,
about six months now.
533
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,784
I see a friend of mine over there.
It's nice to meet you. All of you.
534
00:35:23,707 --> 00:35:25,626
What the hell
was that, man?
535
00:35:25,709 --> 00:35:29,004
Why did you tell her you had a
woman? We gave you half the money.
536
00:35:29,087 --> 00:35:32,925
If you're thinking about screwing us
- Mmm! Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.
537
00:35:33,008 --> 00:35:36,678
No woman wants a man who another
woman doesn't already want.
538
00:35:36,803 --> 00:35:39,681
The next time I meet her,
I'll make my move.
539
00:35:39,765 --> 00:35:42,392
I'm sure me and my girlfriend
will be having trouble by then.
540
00:35:46,605 --> 00:35:49,024
You're good. I should've known. Yeah.
541
00:35:49,149 --> 00:35:52,444
Look, Tim is having some people
over next week for a barbecue.
542
00:35:52,569 --> 00:35:55,155
Why don't you come by?
I will.
543
00:35:55,322 --> 00:35:58,325
Just let the master
handle his business.
544
00:35:58,450 --> 00:36:00,702
By the way, I'm gonna need
a little expense money.
545
00:36:00,827 --> 00:36:04,623
Expenses for what? I need
funding to take Eva on a date.
546
00:36:04,706 --> 00:36:07,960
What about the five
grand? That was my fee.
547
00:36:08,043 --> 00:36:11,713
"Fee." "Expenses."
See how the words are different?
548
00:36:11,839 --> 00:36:15,092
Three hundred should
do it. Three hundred?
549
00:36:15,217 --> 00:36:18,220
Three hundred dollars?
550
00:36:21,765 --> 00:36:24,226
All right. Fine. Fine.
551
00:36:24,351 --> 00:36:26,478
But you're on it.
Like wet paint.
552
00:36:26,603 --> 00:36:28,730
Okay.
553
00:36:36,405 --> 00:36:41,034
- Ray was pretty fine. - Yeah, and he
has a girlfriend. - Leave him alone.
554
00:36:41,118 --> 00:36:43,954
- All the good prospects are all taken.
- Or gay.
555
00:36:44,079 --> 00:36:46,707
You should always use an opportunity
like this to swoop on a man.
556
00:36:46,790 --> 00:36:50,878
When Mr. Mason left his wife
last year, I jumped right on it.
557
00:36:50,961 --> 00:36:56,008
- Ormandy, Mr. Mason is 70.
- Are you crazy? See, an old man is a perfect man.
558
00:36:56,091 --> 00:36:59,386
You give him a little Viagra
so he can handle his business,
559
00:36:59,511 --> 00:37:03,807
and right before he gets on your nerves,
honey, he dies and leaves you his cash.
560
00:37:03,932 --> 00:37:07,060
That's like having a dick with
a lottery number on it! Yeah!
561
00:37:07,144 --> 00:37:10,606
- Mm-mmm, that's nasty. -
Eva isn't a home wrecker.
562
00:37:10,731 --> 00:37:14,109
So don't worry about them.
You can do much better.
563
00:37:14,193 --> 00:37:17,946
- Jacqui, you are always blocking on Eva.
- I do not.
564
00:37:18,071 --> 00:37:20,324
You do too. You're spoiled.
565
00:37:20,407 --> 00:37:23,660
- You always wanna keep Eva to yourself.
- No, that's ridiculous.
566
00:37:23,744 --> 00:37:26,246
- Isn't that, Eva?
- Of course it is, honey.
567
00:37:26,330 --> 00:37:28,248
Jacqui, you are a big-ass baby.
568
00:37:28,373 --> 00:37:32,503
- The queen ofbig-ass babies. - So why
are you guys always ganging up on me?
569
00:37:32,628 --> 00:37:36,048
- Because you're an evil, twisted little heifer.
- Twisted!
570
00:37:36,131 --> 00:37:39,426
- Ladies, is this how we behave?
- It has been this way since we were little!
571
00:37:39,510 --> 00:37:42,638
When you cut off my baby doll's
head when I was 10!
572
00:37:42,763 --> 00:37:45,390
You broke my Boo-Boo Kitty,
so the bitch had to die!
573
00:37:48,101 --> 00:37:51,939
- I'm moving to Chicago.
574
00:37:52,064 --> 00:37:56,735
- Eva, what did you just say?
- I'm moving to Chicago.
575
00:37:56,818 --> 00:38:00,906
I might be getting a betterjob
and moving...
576
00:38:01,031 --> 00:38:03,784
to Chicago.
577
00:38:05,452 --> 00:38:08,080
My boss told me
the other day.
578
00:38:08,247 --> 00:38:11,667
Come on. I mean, it's deputy
health inspector of Chicago!
579
00:38:11,792 --> 00:38:14,294
It's a great opportunity.
580
00:38:14,378 --> 00:38:17,381
Look, I've been looking
for a way to tell you guys.
581
00:38:18,465 --> 00:38:21,552
So there it is...
in a nutshell.
582
00:38:21,635 --> 00:38:24,555
Th-That-
That's great for you.
583
00:38:24,638 --> 00:38:27,474
Yeah, it- it is.
584
00:38:29,101 --> 00:38:32,396
Girl, there's some fine brothers
up in Chicago.
585
00:38:32,479 --> 00:38:35,023
So you're just gonna up
and leave, just like that?
586
00:38:35,148 --> 00:38:37,985
No, I have to get
the job first.
587
00:38:38,151 --> 00:38:42,823
I'll find out in a few
weeks. Oh, I'm sorry.
588
00:38:42,990 --> 00:38:46,785
First you get the job, then you pack
up and leave like a thief in the night?
589
00:38:46,869 --> 00:38:50,581
You're just gonna leave us
like that? Do not attack Eva.
590
00:38:50,664 --> 00:38:52,708
She has sacrificed for us. I'm not!
591
00:38:52,833 --> 00:38:54,918
Okay, okay, stop!
592
00:38:55,002 --> 00:38:57,629
Please, stop it! Stop it!
593
00:38:58,839 --> 00:39:01,466
If you don't want me to go,
Jacqui, I won't.
594
00:39:01,550 --> 00:39:04,845
- It's not my decision.
- It is if you're gonna hate me for it.
595
00:39:06,638 --> 00:39:10,726
I don't wanna lose your
friendship, any of you.
596
00:39:10,851 --> 00:39:14,271
Jacqui doesn't mean it,
do you?
597
00:39:16,356 --> 00:39:18,317
I do want you
to be happy, Eva.
598
00:39:20,611 --> 00:39:25,032
So if going...
makes you happy,
599
00:39:27,117 --> 00:39:29,661
I'm happy.
600
00:39:32,539 --> 00:39:35,501
You sure?
601
00:39:35,626 --> 00:39:38,253
- You promise?
602
00:39:38,378 --> 00:39:40,339
Yeah.
603
00:39:42,549 --> 00:39:44,510
Oh!
604
00:39:44,635 --> 00:39:47,387
I love you, sister.
I love you too, sister.
605
00:39:47,554 --> 00:39:49,681
Mm-hmm. We so pretty,
perfect and shit.
606
00:40:02,402 --> 00:40:04,530
Hey, make sure you
cook that meat thoroughly.
607
00:40:04,655 --> 00:40:07,491
I'd hate to tell you what kind
of things live in raw meat.
608
00:40:07,574 --> 00:40:10,410
Please don't.
Thank you very much.
609
00:40:12,496 --> 00:40:14,915
Babe. Is he eating those beans again?
610
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:19,127
What's wrong? I see Darrell
found my spicy baked beans.
611
00:40:19,253 --> 00:40:23,173
- Give him the Heimlich.
- Separates the men from the boys.
612
00:40:23,257 --> 00:40:27,261
- He knows better.
- No. See, give him some bread, you guys. Bread.
613
00:40:27,427 --> 00:40:30,264
Baby, here, eat this. Eat
this. Here, here, here.
614
00:40:30,389 --> 00:40:33,475
If you wanna help, stop making
these damn beans every function, Eva!
615
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:37,020
- What did you put in that stuff?
- Special recipe.
616
00:40:37,104 --> 00:40:39,273
- It's only for a real man.
- I just wanna hear him talk.
617
00:40:39,398 --> 00:40:41,900
Give him some more beans. Can he talk?
618
00:40:42,025 --> 00:40:45,112
Oh, hey. I didn't know
Mike's friend was coming.
619
00:40:45,237 --> 00:40:47,281
Oh, baby, listen. Why
don't you take care of this?
620
00:40:47,406 --> 00:40:49,783
I'm gonna go over and say hello. Okay.
621
00:40:49,867 --> 00:40:52,953
Excuse me, Eva.
Thankyou.
622
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,372
Ray, what's up? Yo!
623
00:40:55,497 --> 00:40:58,292
He's really fine, Eva.
624
00:40:58,375 --> 00:41:01,503
I'm not impressed
by that... much.
625
00:41:01,628 --> 00:41:03,589
You say hi to Ray, man?
626
00:41:03,714 --> 00:41:07,384
Give him a chance.
You gotta bend a little, girl.
627
00:41:08,427 --> 00:41:10,345
Are you saying
I'm not accessible?
628
00:41:10,470 --> 00:41:13,807
Yes, that is what
I'm saying, Eva.
629
00:41:13,891 --> 00:41:17,311
You know, you're too good
of a person to be alone.
630
00:41:17,436 --> 00:41:20,439
What's going on?
Everything's cool? Yeah.
631
00:41:20,564 --> 00:41:24,193
I'm your sister, I love you,
and I'm asking you to bend.
632
00:41:24,318 --> 00:41:26,195
Okay, but it's the fine ones
who leave you broke,
633
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,322
with bad credit
and a hair weave you don't need.
634
00:41:28,405 --> 00:41:30,449
Mm-mm-mm!
635
00:41:30,616 --> 00:41:33,827
Hello again, Eva.
Hi, Raymond.
636
00:41:33,911 --> 00:41:37,080
Look here, I hope you don't
mind, but I invited Ray.
637
00:41:37,164 --> 00:41:39,166
No, he's most welcome.
638
00:41:41,502 --> 00:41:45,797
Look, I have to
go tell Darrell something.
639
00:41:45,881 --> 00:41:48,050
I'll be right back.
640
00:41:48,175 --> 00:41:50,594
Yeah, you know what? These
- We don't need to cook these.
641
00:41:50,677 --> 00:41:53,096
Excuse us.
642
00:41:53,180 --> 00:41:55,182
Good to see you.
643
00:41:56,808 --> 00:41:58,685
So, Raymond, what is it
that you do again?
644
00:41:58,852 --> 00:42:02,856
I deliver meat...
forJomo's.
645
00:42:03,023 --> 00:42:06,068
Meat delivery.
Interesting.
646
00:42:06,193 --> 00:42:10,531
Jomo's deals in only premium
meats, high-end clientele.
647
00:42:10,614 --> 00:42:13,033
What about you?
I'm a health inspector.
648
00:42:13,116 --> 00:42:16,537
- That sounds interesting too.
- I need a gurney for my ass.
649
00:42:16,620 --> 00:42:18,789
See the man with flames
coming out of his ass?
650
00:42:18,872 --> 00:42:21,291
We're gonna need backup.
Thank you. Squeeze and pull.
651
00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:25,087
- How about we go get a plate of food?
- Sure. A nice hot one.
652
00:42:28,507 --> 00:42:30,884
Two minutes and she
has not insulted him.
653
00:42:31,009 --> 00:42:35,472
This could be very promising.
Mm-hmm. They feel good together to me.
654
00:42:37,015 --> 00:42:40,435
So, you wanna go out
with me sometime?
655
00:42:40,561 --> 00:42:43,397
Is your girlfriend coming too?
'Cause we could all play canasta...
656
00:42:43,522 --> 00:42:45,607
or Parcheesi
or Taboo or something.
657
00:42:45,732 --> 00:42:48,694
Well, she's, uh-
658
00:42:48,819 --> 00:42:52,865
Actually, it's not working out.
We're not together anymore.
659
00:42:52,990 --> 00:42:54,908
Oh.
660
00:42:54,992 --> 00:42:57,536
As one car breaks down,
you just hop into another one?
661
00:42:57,661 --> 00:43:00,289
I'd like to think that going
out with you is riding in a limo.
662
00:43:02,124 --> 00:43:06,003
- I'm sorry. Did I insult you?
- No. No, it was very funny.
663
00:43:06,128 --> 00:43:08,088
I just don't laugh a lot.
664
00:43:08,172 --> 00:43:11,842
Lord, help me.
That's a good-looking man.
665
00:43:11,967 --> 00:43:14,428
I can't keep
my legs together.
666
00:43:14,553 --> 00:43:17,431
The sun comes up and you
can't keep your legs together.
667
00:43:17,556 --> 00:43:21,018
Telly.
He's got sneaky eyes.
668
00:43:21,101 --> 00:43:24,021
Jacqui,
don't you start.
669
00:43:24,104 --> 00:43:27,065
I didn't make the man's eyes
all beady and shifty. Shh!
670
00:43:27,149 --> 00:43:29,568
- What?
- You never answered my question.
671
00:43:29,651 --> 00:43:32,613
What question was that?
Will you go out with me?
672
00:43:34,406 --> 00:43:37,910
Look, Raymond, I know we just met,
and you seem like a really nice guy,
673
00:43:37,993 --> 00:43:41,997
but I think I should tell you a
little something about myself. Okay.
674
00:43:42,122 --> 00:43:44,166
I know the one thing
that scares men to death.
675
00:43:44,291 --> 00:43:46,627
- What's that?
- I know the truth about them.
676
00:43:46,710 --> 00:43:49,630
And the truth is, most men
don't really know what they want.
677
00:43:49,713 --> 00:43:51,757
I've been through
all the basic types.
678
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:55,135
The playa-playas, who
think women are disposable toys.
679
00:43:55,260 --> 00:43:59,181
The confused man, who doesn't know if
he wants to date you or your brother.
680
00:43:59,306 --> 00:44:01,725
The lazy ones, who live with their mother
and expect you to pick up the check.
681
00:44:01,808 --> 00:44:05,187
So if you really
wanna go out with me,
682
00:44:05,312 --> 00:44:07,814
realize that it means
being a gentleman,
683
00:44:07,940 --> 00:44:11,652
understand that it means
respecting my mind, body and spirit.
684
00:44:11,777 --> 00:44:14,154
Eva, I'm not afraid
of you.
685
00:44:14,321 --> 00:44:17,282
And I wanna go on record as
saying I totally respect...
686
00:44:17,366 --> 00:44:20,827
your mind and your spirit.
687
00:44:20,953 --> 00:44:23,247
- What about my body?
- It's beautiful.
688
00:44:23,330 --> 00:44:27,793
- But will you respect it?
- I'll do anything to it you want me to.
689
00:44:27,876 --> 00:44:30,671
Look at that. The corners of
your mouth actually turn up.
690
00:44:30,796 --> 00:44:33,006
A smart-ass.
I like that.
691
00:44:33,131 --> 00:44:35,133
So, will you
go out with me?
692
00:44:36,677 --> 00:44:38,554
He's eating the beans.
He's eating the beans.
693
00:44:38,679 --> 00:44:41,348
Oh, no, brother.
Don't do it, brother.
694
00:44:42,683 --> 00:44:44,560
Ahhh!
695
00:44:44,685 --> 00:44:49,523
Whoo! That's good.
That's really good.
696
00:44:49,648 --> 00:44:52,109
- Kareenah sure can cook, huh?
- Actually, I made those beans.
697
00:44:52,192 --> 00:44:54,278
Really?
698
00:44:54,403 --> 00:44:58,198
You put your foot in them, girl.
Damn, I love spicy food.
699
00:44:58,323 --> 00:45:02,160
- How about we go out this weekend?
- Sounds good.
700
00:45:02,244 --> 00:45:04,162
Fabulous.
701
00:45:10,836 --> 00:45:12,754
You're late.
I know.
702
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,133
I left early, but there was a
real bad accident on the street.
703
00:45:16,216 --> 00:45:19,052
Really?
704
00:45:19,219 --> 00:45:23,515
- Who told you I like lilies?
- Sometimes a man gets lucky.
705
00:45:33,066 --> 00:45:35,736
Looks like somebody likes-
706
00:45:35,861 --> 00:45:38,530
I was noticing all the pictures
of the horses.
707
00:45:39,740 --> 00:45:41,909
You look good.
708
00:45:42,034 --> 00:45:45,078
I love horses.
And thank you.
709
00:45:45,204 --> 00:45:48,582
Here, uh,
let me take these from you.
710
00:45:51,668 --> 00:45:53,962
You ever see the accident rates
on these things?
711
00:45:54,087 --> 00:45:56,465
They're very dangerous.
No.
712
00:45:56,590 --> 00:46:00,344
That's why I drive this.
Okay.
713
00:46:00,427 --> 00:46:03,263
You're joking, right?
714
00:46:03,388 --> 00:46:06,099
Nope.
715
00:46:16,276 --> 00:46:18,445
This is what you drive
when you take out a woman?
716
00:46:18,570 --> 00:46:20,948
Yeah. It's clean
and it's free.
717
00:46:22,699 --> 00:46:25,577
I'm saving to buy a house. Oh.
718
00:46:25,702 --> 00:46:28,956
I can understand that. Home
ownership is very important.
719
00:46:29,122 --> 00:46:30,999
Does your mother live with you? No.
720
00:46:31,124 --> 00:46:33,210
Even better.
721
00:46:35,546 --> 00:46:38,257
My boss has been hinting
he might want to slow down.
722
00:46:38,382 --> 00:46:40,300
Let somebody run
the day-to-day for him.
723
00:46:40,384 --> 00:46:44,263
I think he might want me to do it.
That's great. When do you start?
724
00:46:44,346 --> 00:46:47,975
I'm thinking about it. There is
nothing wrong with a little ambition.
725
00:46:48,100 --> 00:46:51,144
I was a secretary in my department.
Now I'm the lead inspector.
726
00:46:51,270 --> 00:46:54,898
I gave myself five years to
get there. I did it in four.
727
00:46:57,150 --> 00:46:59,486
There you go, doing that thing
you do with your face again.
728
00:46:59,611 --> 00:47:01,446
Just drive
your meat wagon, man.
729
00:47:01,530 --> 00:47:03,615
Did you hear about the
black caveman they found?
730
00:47:03,782 --> 00:47:06,159
They knew he was black by the curve
of his jaw, length of his spine,
731
00:47:06,285 --> 00:47:09,079
Cadillac he was buried in.
732
00:47:09,162 --> 00:47:14,376
You tell me a joke now. I'm not
a jokey-joke type person, so-
733
00:47:15,502 --> 00:47:17,838
Okay.
How about a little music?
734
00:47:19,298 --> 00:47:22,759
Ahh!
735
00:47:22,843 --> 00:47:25,012
All right, all right.
736
00:47:25,137 --> 00:47:27,472
Yeah.
737
00:47:29,016 --> 00:47:31,143
I love this record.
738
00:48:15,854 --> 00:48:18,815
This must be a pretty good restaurant,
you being a health inspector and all.
739
00:48:18,899 --> 00:48:21,235
Oh, yeah. Most places
I can't even go to.
740
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:25,072
They try to poison me. But this place
- Oh, God, it's different.
741
00:48:25,197 --> 00:48:28,116
The manager has O.C.D.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder.
742
00:48:28,242 --> 00:48:30,452
He cleans all day long.
You could eat off the floors.
743
00:48:30,577 --> 00:48:34,873
Sounds appetizing.
Oh, you think that's funny?
744
00:48:34,915 --> 00:48:37,292
Did you know that if food
isn't prepared just right...
745
00:48:37,376 --> 00:48:39,962
your throat can close up and
you can drown in your own vomit?
746
00:48:40,087 --> 00:48:42,506
Oh, I'm hungry now.
747
00:48:44,258 --> 00:48:48,595
Mmm!Just like
Mama used to make.
748
00:48:55,936 --> 00:49:00,274
Okay. That's really funny, Raymond,
but I know when somebody's choking.
749
00:49:04,862 --> 00:49:07,447
You can stop now.
750
00:49:10,826 --> 00:49:12,828
Oh, my God. Call 911!
751
00:49:17,749 --> 00:49:20,919
That's not the hug I was hoping
for, but it'll do for now.
752
00:49:23,630 --> 00:49:25,549
I'm just playing.
753
00:49:25,632 --> 00:49:27,551
Is everything all right?
Yes.
754
00:49:27,634 --> 00:49:29,887
Yes. My friend here
was just telling a littlejoke.
755
00:49:33,223 --> 00:49:36,768
- What are you doing here?
- Well, well, Inspector Dandridge.
756
00:49:36,894 --> 00:49:40,564
Now, you-you manage the Red
Leaf restaurant across town.
757
00:49:40,647 --> 00:49:43,942
Oh, no, not after
your last inspection.
758
00:49:44,067 --> 00:49:48,739
I was fired for a broken light
bulb in a freezer. Remember?
759
00:49:48,864 --> 00:49:50,908
No. No, no, no,
I don't want you.
760
00:49:51,033 --> 00:49:52,993
I want the man with O.C.D.
761
00:49:53,118 --> 00:49:54,995
Eva, relax.
It's all right.
762
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:58,373
The old manager's not here.
How's that salad working?
763
00:49:58,457 --> 00:50:01,919
You know, we used our special
house dressing just for you.
764
00:50:02,044 --> 00:50:06,256
- Creamy, isn't it?
- I'm not eating here. Let's go.
765
00:50:06,340 --> 00:50:09,843
I'm sure it's okay.
Did you hear what I just said?
766
00:50:09,968 --> 00:50:14,932
I am not eating here.
Let's go! Okay. Okay.
767
00:50:18,018 --> 00:50:20,020
Don't forget to validate.
768
00:50:23,315 --> 00:50:25,234
Don't be mad at me.
I just wanted to stay.
769
00:50:25,317 --> 00:50:27,569
And have her
put things in my food?
770
00:50:27,653 --> 00:50:30,781
I don't think so, pal. I just
think you overreacted a little bit.
771
00:50:30,906 --> 00:50:32,824
You're a civil servant,
not the F.B.I.
772
00:50:32,908 --> 00:50:36,328
Well, excuse the hell
out of me.
773
00:50:36,411 --> 00:50:39,248
Why don't you tell me about the
demanding world of meat delivery?
774
00:50:39,331 --> 00:50:42,501
So, you just basically pick it up
and deliver it to a guy named Bob?
775
00:50:42,626 --> 00:50:45,796
Or is there some sort of math
involved? You don't need to be so nasty.
776
00:50:45,921 --> 00:50:48,507
Oh, there is definitely a need
for me to get nasty.
777
00:50:48,632 --> 00:50:51,510
My job is serious.
It is not a hobby.
778
00:50:51,635 --> 00:50:55,222
Guess what, meat boy? I'm sure
my job pays more than yours does.
779
00:50:55,347 --> 00:50:57,349
So in my eyes, the eyes
of society and the I.R.S.,
780
00:50:57,474 --> 00:50:59,351
that makes me bigger
and better than you.
781
00:50:59,476 --> 00:51:01,353
So why don't you think about
that the next time you're out...
782
00:51:01,478 --> 00:51:04,982
doing the complex work
of toting around a pig's ass.
783
00:51:07,067 --> 00:51:09,152
'Cause that's like
a family thing.
784
00:51:09,278 --> 00:51:11,196
You know, with the thing
- Excuse me.
785
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,991
Hello. Kareenah, it's
Eva. I need to talk.
786
00:51:14,116 --> 00:51:18,245
Hey.
787
00:51:18,370 --> 00:51:20,914
It's Eva. And Kareenah.
We got an emergency.
788
00:51:21,290 --> 00:51:23,208
Jacqui, it's Eva.
789
00:51:23,292 --> 00:51:25,419
And Kareenah. And
Bethany. Code seven, girl.
790
00:51:25,544 --> 00:51:27,296
No!
791
00:51:27,421 --> 00:51:29,923
- What's up?
- The date was catastrophic.
792
00:51:30,048 --> 00:51:32,843
Wait till I tell you what happened.
This fool had the nerve to-
793
00:51:32,926 --> 00:51:36,305
- What the hell went wrong?
- Kareenah was falling in love with having a baby.
794
00:51:36,430 --> 00:51:38,974
And me and my wife
were cuddling. I mean,
795
00:51:39,099 --> 00:51:41,185
I was hitting it real manly,
and I didn't get to finish.
796
00:51:41,268 --> 00:51:44,438
They had a four-way phone
conference about your date all night.
797
00:51:44,563 --> 00:51:47,191
I thought you was the master
player. The master player.
798
00:51:47,274 --> 00:51:51,320
I can't get to her. Most women have
a few barriers around their hearts.
799
00:51:51,445 --> 00:51:56,283
Eva has an electrified fence
with rabid pit bulls. Okay?
800
00:51:56,366 --> 00:51:58,911
And that mouth!
My ears are still bleeding.
801
00:51:58,994 --> 00:52:02,414
We got to do something about this, 'cause
we can't have Eva messing up our plan.
802
00:52:02,539 --> 00:52:06,752
Ray, listen, all you have to do is find a
way to get back on her good side. That's all.
803
00:52:06,835 --> 00:52:09,463
- He's gotta sleep with her. That's what you gotta do.
- Yeah, that's it.
804
00:52:09,588 --> 00:52:12,716
Look, I would love to have
another shot with her, all right?
805
00:52:12,799 --> 00:52:15,636
My pride was hurt. But I'm
sure it's out of the question.
806
00:52:15,761 --> 00:52:18,514
What, you don't like women?
Watch yourself now.
807
00:52:18,639 --> 00:52:21,642
- You have to have sex with her.
- I don't think that's the answer.
808
00:52:21,767 --> 00:52:24,645
Oh, man, he don't like women!
I told you this dude was-
809
00:52:24,728 --> 00:52:28,732
Hey, hey! I do like women,
all right? How are you?
810
00:52:28,815 --> 00:52:32,653
Look, fellas, I'm sorry,
811
00:52:32,819 --> 00:52:34,738
but there's no way she's
gonna go out with me again.
812
00:52:34,821 --> 00:52:38,951
Hmph. No way. I'll
give you your money back.
813
00:52:39,117 --> 00:52:41,328
You're damn right
you will.
814
00:53:15,445 --> 00:53:17,698
'Cause I'm in
damn good company.
815
00:53:17,823 --> 00:53:20,576
Martin Luther King
was uncompromising.
816
00:53:20,701 --> 00:53:23,161
Nelson Mandela:
uncompromising.
817
00:53:23,287 --> 00:53:26,331
Confucius: uncompromising.
818
00:53:26,456 --> 00:53:30,252
And so am I. Here is your citation. Eva.
819
00:53:30,377 --> 00:53:33,463
What, Raymond? I am working.
So am I.
820
00:53:33,547 --> 00:53:35,883
And you're right.
There's no math involved.
821
00:53:36,008 --> 00:53:37,968
Why did I stop her
from leaving?
822
00:53:38,051 --> 00:53:40,679
It wasn'tjust curiosity
that made me go after her.
823
00:53:40,846 --> 00:53:44,266
Now that I'm dead, I know it was
something special about Eva.
824
00:53:44,391 --> 00:53:47,686
I know you're upset with me, but
I want you to go out with me again.
825
00:53:47,769 --> 00:53:50,230
And why is that?
'Cause you're pretty.
826
00:53:51,565 --> 00:53:53,567
That's the most shallow thing
I've ever heard.
827
00:53:53,650 --> 00:53:57,196
It's not like I got to really know you.
So basically, I'm working on beauty here.
828
00:53:57,279 --> 00:54:01,575
Well, you know what? I am so much
more than what's on the outside, okay?
829
00:54:01,700 --> 00:54:04,369
More than what appeals
to some... meat man.
830
00:54:04,453 --> 00:54:07,164
And thank you
for the compliment.
831
00:54:07,247 --> 00:54:10,876
I feel like I owe you.
We can do anything you want.
832
00:54:11,001 --> 00:54:14,171
Anything?
Anything. Sky's the limit.
833
00:54:25,182 --> 00:54:29,353
Wait. Okay. Okay.
Whoa. Whoa.
834
00:54:50,082 --> 00:54:53,919
Whoa! Oh, God. Oh, God.
Hang on! Hang on!
835
00:54:57,464 --> 00:55:00,634
My ass feels like it got
caught in a blender.
836
00:55:00,759 --> 00:55:03,220
You did good. You only
fell what, four times?
837
00:55:03,303 --> 00:55:05,055
Yeah.
838
00:55:05,138 --> 00:55:08,392
I have a confession to make.
I used you.
839
00:55:08,475 --> 00:55:10,602
I can't afford to
come here all the time.
840
00:55:10,727 --> 00:55:12,771
I come but once a month
when I save my pennies.
841
00:55:12,855 --> 00:55:15,941
When you asked to go out again,
I didn't really want to, but...
842
00:55:16,066 --> 00:55:18,569
I thought, you know-
843
00:55:18,652 --> 00:55:21,238
I guess that makes me
a bad person, right?
844
00:55:21,363 --> 00:55:25,367
No. I just wanted to make up
for the other night.
845
00:55:25,492 --> 00:55:29,454
Did you know I wanted to be a horse
trainer when I was a little girl?
846
00:55:29,538 --> 00:55:31,748
No. But I could have guessed.
847
00:55:31,832 --> 00:55:34,209
What happened?
848
00:55:34,334 --> 00:55:37,754
I had to take care of my sisters, and a
beginning horse trainer doesn't pay big bucks,
849
00:55:37,838 --> 00:55:41,300
so I took a job with the city
and another as a waitress.
850
00:55:41,425 --> 00:55:44,344
And there you go.
Steady pay checks.
851
00:55:44,428 --> 00:55:48,515
So why didn't you go back to it
after your sisters were okay?
852
00:55:51,018 --> 00:55:53,979
You know what? Let's do
something you want to do.
853
00:55:56,231 --> 00:55:58,233
Anything?
854
00:55:59,693 --> 00:56:02,946
Yeah, sure.
855
00:56:06,283 --> 00:56:09,494
I have to say, this is exactly
how I thought you'd be living.
856
00:56:09,620 --> 00:56:11,580
What, you got something
against pool?
857
00:56:11,705 --> 00:56:14,082
No, but a sofa wouldn't
kill you, would it?
858
00:56:15,584 --> 00:56:17,544
Uh-uh.
859
00:56:17,628 --> 00:56:19,671
Your turn.
860
00:56:19,755 --> 00:56:23,008
So how does
a meat delivery man...
861
00:56:23,133 --> 00:56:26,136
afford a nice place like this?
862
00:56:26,261 --> 00:56:28,472
He struggles and makes do.
863
00:56:28,597 --> 00:56:31,183
Did I tell you my boss and I are
going to the mayor's mansion...
864
00:56:31,308 --> 00:56:33,852
so we can show him cuts for
a private dinner he's having?
865
00:56:33,977 --> 00:56:36,146
You're doing a meat show
for the mayor?
866
00:56:36,230 --> 00:56:40,984
Meat presentation. There's a
subtle difference of humiliation.
867
00:56:41,068 --> 00:56:43,070
So you never did
answer my question:
868
00:56:43,153 --> 00:56:46,573
why you didn't go back into horse training
after your sisters got on their feet?
869
00:56:46,657 --> 00:56:50,327
I don't want to talk
about it, okay?
870
00:56:50,410 --> 00:56:53,330
It's hard to get to know someone
when they won't talk to you.
871
00:56:53,413 --> 00:56:56,041
You know, we're having a really
good time right now, Raymond.
872
00:56:56,124 --> 00:56:59,378
Let's just drop it, okay?
873
00:57:00,754 --> 00:57:03,131
Did you know...
874
00:57:04,550 --> 00:57:07,386
that I was an orphan
just like you and your sisters?
875
00:57:07,469 --> 00:57:11,557
My mom gave me up after I was born. I
don't think she even knew who my father was.
876
00:57:11,682 --> 00:57:14,601
Yeah, so that explains it,
877
00:57:14,685 --> 00:57:18,814
why the idea of staying
in one place scares you so much.
878
00:57:18,939 --> 00:57:22,317
Scares me? I said I was a multi
- talented guy that liked to travel.
879
00:57:22,442 --> 00:57:25,612
- I didn't say I was scared.
- I read about it.
880
00:57:25,737 --> 00:57:28,073
When a child is abandoned,
881
00:57:28,156 --> 00:57:31,702
he becomes afraid that his
entire life will fall apart again.
882
00:57:33,579 --> 00:57:36,331
I don't think
you should feel bad about it.
883
00:57:36,456 --> 00:57:39,084
It's a completely
natural reaction.
884
00:57:39,209 --> 00:57:42,796
Okay then. I won't
feel bad about it.
885
00:57:44,298 --> 00:57:47,801
What about you?
886
00:57:49,303 --> 00:57:50,971
Okay.
887
00:57:52,806 --> 00:57:55,893
Our parents died
in a car accident when I was 18.
888
00:57:55,976 --> 00:57:57,978
Insurance paid for the house,
889
00:57:58,061 --> 00:58:02,774
and we started a bank account
that we called the Dandridge fund.
890
00:58:02,858 --> 00:58:05,861
I guess as they grew older,
891
00:58:05,986 --> 00:58:09,239
I settled into this cushy
little life I have now.
892
00:58:09,364 --> 00:58:12,993
And I didn't wanna go back and chase
dreams of becoming a horse trainer.
893
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:16,455
So I guess if it doesn't kill
you, it makes you stronger, huh?
894
00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:19,124
I think what people mean
when they say that...
895
00:58:19,208 --> 00:58:23,962
is that you deal with whatever pain that
you have by building a bridge over it...
896
00:58:24,087 --> 00:58:26,590
with all the things that life
hasn't taken away from you.
897
00:58:26,715 --> 00:58:29,301
So if it doesn't kill you,
it makes you build a bridge.
898
00:58:29,384 --> 00:58:33,096
Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I
like that. I'm gonna use that.
899
00:58:33,180 --> 00:58:34,473
You should be proud of yourself.
900
00:58:34,598 --> 00:58:37,309
No. I'm proud
of my sisters.
901
00:58:37,434 --> 00:58:42,356
What about you, Eva? I know
all that devotion cost you.
902
00:58:42,481 --> 00:58:45,150
It did.
903
00:58:45,275 --> 00:58:49,821
There was this guy,
Lucius Johnson. Lucius.
904
00:58:49,947 --> 00:58:53,075
Anyway, he was
our local Mr. Everything.
905
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:56,703
You know. We were young,
but it was serious.
906
00:58:56,828 --> 00:59:01,500
We were gonna get married, and Ready for
the World was gonna sing at our wedding.
907
00:59:01,625 --> 00:59:06,839
But... he asked me to choose
between him and my sisters.
908
00:59:06,922 --> 00:59:11,301
And when I didn't choose him, he
dumped me. Why didn't you choose him?
909
00:59:11,385 --> 00:59:15,347
Because my sisters needed me more than
he did, and what I needed didn't matter.
910
00:59:15,514 --> 00:59:20,686
So, what about you, Raymond? What has
the tragedy in your life given you?
911
00:59:25,399 --> 00:59:28,193
You know!
912
00:59:28,277 --> 00:59:31,113
Just cough up the damn money
so I can get goin'.
913
00:59:35,075 --> 00:59:38,287
Uh, okay. I didn't mean
to interrupt.
914
00:59:38,412 --> 00:59:42,791
- Yeah, you never do, Mike.
- Pay you on the bet later, Mike.
915
00:59:42,916 --> 00:59:44,793
No problem, Ray.
916
00:59:44,918 --> 00:59:47,171
It's all good, baby.
917
00:59:47,296 --> 00:59:49,882
Mike's a lucky pool player.
That I am.
918
00:59:50,007 --> 00:59:53,427
Look, I'm gonna let you two
get back to your date.
919
00:59:53,510 --> 00:59:55,929
See you later.
920
01:00:02,019 --> 01:00:05,230
You know, Mike and his little
buddies are not fooling me.
921
01:00:05,355 --> 01:00:07,816
I didn't think so. No.
They set us up, you and me.
922
01:00:07,900 --> 01:00:10,694
They want us to date so
I'll stay out of their hair.
923
01:00:10,777 --> 01:00:15,324
You might not believe this. They
don't really like me very much.
924
01:00:15,407 --> 01:00:18,327
I didn't get that.
Really?
925
01:00:20,204 --> 01:00:23,624
So, uh, do you mind that
they set you up with me?
926
01:00:26,001 --> 01:00:29,338
Just show me how to
hit the ball straight.
927
01:00:29,421 --> 01:00:31,924
You want me to show you how
to hit the ball straight? Yeah.
928
01:00:32,049 --> 01:00:34,051
First, hold
the stick straight.
929
01:00:34,134 --> 01:00:38,096
That's it. Now slide the
stick between your fingers.
930
01:00:41,308 --> 01:00:43,644
Eva never misses our night.
931
01:00:43,769 --> 01:00:45,896
Something must
have happened.
932
01:00:46,021 --> 01:00:49,942
- Maybe she had an accident.
- Oh, please. Eva would call from the ambulance.
933
01:00:51,777 --> 01:00:54,112
- Eva's with Ray.
- What?
934
01:00:54,279 --> 01:00:57,908
But... she hates him.
We all agreed.
935
01:00:58,033 --> 01:01:00,827
- How do you know that?
- She called me on her cell phone to say that...
936
01:01:00,953 --> 01:01:03,413
she and Ray were going
horseback riding.
937
01:01:03,497 --> 01:01:07,584
- I guess it went well. -
Horses? Three words: e- rot-ic.
938
01:01:07,668 --> 01:01:11,755
Horses make me feel
all tingly.
939
01:01:11,839 --> 01:01:14,299
Shut up. Shut up.
940
01:01:15,592 --> 01:01:17,553
Oh, my God.
941
01:01:18,929 --> 01:01:21,306
Eva has a man.
942
01:02:32,419 --> 01:02:35,005
- Hey, guys.
- Eva.
943
01:02:35,172 --> 01:02:37,341
Chi-town is calling you.
944
01:02:37,508 --> 01:02:39,551
Congratulations, Eva.
945
01:02:39,718 --> 01:02:43,263
I don't know what to say.
Um, wow.
946
01:02:43,388 --> 01:02:45,849
Can I have some time
to think about it?
947
01:02:45,974 --> 01:02:50,270
- Sure, but why? This is a great opportunity.
- I know, I know.
948
01:02:50,395 --> 01:02:53,023
A lot's changed in my life
since all this happened.
949
01:02:53,106 --> 01:02:55,943
I know how
relocation can be.
950
01:02:56,068 --> 01:02:58,695
Take some time.
Thanks.
951
01:03:04,159 --> 01:03:09,540
Ray, you are the messiah.
952
01:03:09,623 --> 01:03:12,251
I haven't seen Eva
in a week, bro.
953
01:03:12,417 --> 01:03:15,546
And Kareenah and I are having baby
talk, my blood pressure's down,
954
01:03:15,671 --> 01:03:18,382
and fellas, I do believe
I am growing another penis.
955
01:03:18,465 --> 01:03:22,010
Eva's cool because Ray got
her into bed. Right, player?
956
01:03:22,094 --> 01:03:24,596
That's right. No, no.
We're just hanging out.
957
01:03:24,721 --> 01:03:28,141
- He's modest.
- Now you have to tell her you're moving to another state...
958
01:03:28,267 --> 01:03:30,227
so she can get out
of our lives forever.
959
01:03:30,310 --> 01:03:32,896
Yeah. Tell her you're going
to somewhere like Delaware.
960
01:03:33,021 --> 01:03:36,900
Can't nobody find that shit
on the map. I know I can't.
961
01:03:36,984 --> 01:03:40,571
- Do you have to be so gleeful about it?
- What did he say?
962
01:03:40,737 --> 01:03:43,198
Hey, Ray, Ray, Ray,
Ray, Ray.
963
01:03:43,365 --> 01:03:46,785
- You gotta be tough. You gotta stay strong for all of us.
- Yeah.
964
01:03:46,910 --> 01:03:50,247
Men who get away with shit are the
backbones of this here country, Ray.
965
01:03:50,372 --> 01:03:53,125
Yeah, life, liberty and
getting away with shit, Ray.
966
01:03:55,210 --> 01:03:58,505
Did you know that Eva does charity
work, teaches Bible studies?
967
01:03:58,630 --> 01:04:02,426
She loves animals. She
rides this horse named Romeo.
968
01:04:02,551 --> 01:04:04,845
He reacts to her
like he understands.
969
01:04:04,970 --> 01:04:08,348
We didn't say she was a bad person.
We said she was an irritating person.
970
01:04:08,473 --> 01:04:10,767
Yeah, and that horse
is probably retarded, man.
971
01:04:10,893 --> 01:04:14,062
- I'm just saying-
- Just saying what, Ray?
972
01:04:14,188 --> 01:04:17,149
We had a deal, Ray.
973
01:04:17,274 --> 01:04:21,153
- Remember your motto?
Player first- - Women second.
974
01:04:21,236 --> 01:04:24,072
- Now, are you the man or what, Ray?
- Come on, Ray.
975
01:04:24,156 --> 01:04:27,075
You're not hearing me.
Are you the man or what, Ray?
976
01:04:28,660 --> 01:04:31,205
- You know I'm your man.
- Yeah! All right!
977
01:04:31,330 --> 01:04:33,874
That's a player.
I wasn't worried.
978
01:04:33,999 --> 01:04:36,460
That's my money working
right there.
979
01:05:10,035 --> 01:05:12,287
Eva, you flying solo
tonight?
980
01:05:12,371 --> 01:05:17,376
Yeah, my boyfriend Ray had some
kind of inventory thing tonight, so-
981
01:05:17,501 --> 01:05:20,128
So you given any thought
to the offer?
982
01:05:20,212 --> 01:05:22,464
I'm still thinking
about it, sir.
983
01:05:22,589 --> 01:05:26,844
Don't let me rush you, Eva.
We do have a small window here.
984
01:05:26,969 --> 01:05:29,888
I'll keep that in mind.
Thanks.
985
01:05:30,013 --> 01:05:32,558
Excuse me.
986
01:05:40,566 --> 01:05:42,526
Hi.
987
01:05:42,609 --> 01:05:44,862
Um, let me get a white wine
spritzer, please.
988
01:05:44,945 --> 01:05:46,989
You got it.
989
01:05:48,156 --> 01:05:50,576
Eva. Eva Dandridge?
990
01:05:50,701 --> 01:05:55,205
- Lucius?
- I thought that was you. How you been?
991
01:05:55,372 --> 01:05:59,209
I'm fine, Lucius.
It's nice to see you again.
992
01:05:59,293 --> 01:06:01,628
I want you to meet somebody.
993
01:06:01,753 --> 01:06:05,048
My wife, Renee.
Baby, this is Eva.
994
01:06:05,174 --> 01:06:10,012
- The one I told you about.
- Oh, the love of his life.
995
01:06:10,095 --> 01:06:13,557
I've heard so much about you.
I hate you.
996
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:18,228
Yeah, Eva and I were engaged after
high school, but it didn't work out.
997
01:06:18,353 --> 01:06:22,566
- You dumped me, Lucius.
- Right. Didn't you have to go work for your baby sisters?
998
01:06:22,691 --> 01:06:24,693
Eva,you broke
Lucius's heart.
999
01:06:24,776 --> 01:06:28,155
Thank God you did though. Or
else I never would have got him.
1000
01:06:30,199 --> 01:06:32,201
These are our kids.
1001
01:06:32,326 --> 01:06:35,621
They're cute.
Real cute.
1002
01:06:35,746 --> 01:06:40,125
I'm assistant to the mayor now.
Hired me right out of General Motors.
1003
01:06:40,250 --> 01:06:42,878
At a very generous salary.
1004
01:06:42,961 --> 01:06:46,882
- So, Eva, what is it that you do?
- I'm a health inspector.
1005
01:06:49,426 --> 01:06:53,096
Great. So you go look at dirty
kitchens and public restrooms...
1006
01:06:53,180 --> 01:06:54,973
and stufflike that?
1007
01:06:55,098 --> 01:06:57,935
- Sounds fascinating, girl.
- It pays the bills, yeah.
1008
01:06:58,060 --> 01:07:00,979
So where's your date?
1009
01:07:01,146 --> 01:07:03,565
He's running late.
1010
01:07:03,649 --> 01:07:05,651
Sorry, baby. I had that thing.
1011
01:07:05,734 --> 01:07:08,278
You okay?
Yeah.
1012
01:07:08,445 --> 01:07:10,405
Hi. Ray Adams.
1013
01:07:10,489 --> 01:07:14,284
How you doing, man? Lucius
Johnson. My wife, Renee. Hello.
1014
01:07:14,409 --> 01:07:17,538
Lucius. Heard a lot about you.
1015
01:07:17,663 --> 01:07:19,706
- So how long you two been going out?
- Not long.
1016
01:07:19,831 --> 01:07:23,502
I was in Africa on business. The city
is trading with the brothers over there.
1017
01:07:23,627 --> 01:07:25,879
I came all the way back
to escort Eva.
1018
01:07:28,298 --> 01:07:32,135
I had no idea the city of Los
Angeles was a trade partner in Africa.
1019
01:07:32,219 --> 01:07:36,557
You wouldn't. It's on the
highest levels of city government.
1020
01:07:36,682 --> 01:07:39,935
Really? Well, let's hear all
about this so-called trade program.
1021
01:07:40,018 --> 01:07:44,314
Ray, shush. It's fun
time now. Mr. Mayor!
1022
01:07:45,691 --> 01:07:47,609
Hey.
1023
01:07:47,693 --> 01:07:50,696
Ray, how is my main man?
Good, sir. Good, good.
1024
01:07:50,821 --> 01:07:52,781
Good to see you.
This is my date, Eva.
1025
01:07:52,865 --> 01:07:55,534
So this is Eva?
1026
01:07:55,659 --> 01:07:58,161
Ray, you didn't
do her justice.
1027
01:07:59,413 --> 01:08:00,998
Thank you, sir.
1028
01:08:06,712 --> 01:08:12,593
- And this is, uh, Lumpy and Reeses.
- Lucius and Renee, sir.
1029
01:08:12,718 --> 01:08:15,512
I'm one of your new assistants and I thought that
- Ray.
1030
01:08:15,637 --> 01:08:18,432
I want you to bring this beautiful
young lady up to the house sometime.
1031
01:08:18,557 --> 01:08:20,517
Will do, sir.
Great to meet you.
1032
01:08:20,601 --> 01:08:23,353
Nice to meet you too.
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
1033
01:08:25,606 --> 01:08:28,066
Ray, my man.
I'm sorry about that-
1034
01:08:28,150 --> 01:08:31,403
You can have a rain check
on kissing my ass, Leo.
1035
01:08:31,528 --> 01:08:34,948
I have to dance
with the prettiest girl here.
1036
01:08:35,073 --> 01:08:37,993
Right.
Good seeing you again, Eva.
1037
01:08:39,244 --> 01:08:41,205
If you don't stop
staring at her,
1038
01:08:41,371 --> 01:08:44,708
I'm gonna slap the taste
out of your mouth.
1039
01:09:02,809 --> 01:09:07,564
Was that okay? The question
is, how did you do it?
1040
01:09:07,648 --> 01:09:11,235
Well, first I got home
from work early,
1041
01:09:11,360 --> 01:09:14,905
then I watched you from across the
room looking like you wanted to die.
1042
01:09:15,072 --> 01:09:17,032
Okay. And what
about the mayor?
1043
01:09:17,115 --> 01:09:20,619
I did a hell of a meat presentation
for him. Remember? That's right.
1044
01:09:20,786 --> 01:09:23,205
He's a really nice guy.
I only had to beg him once.
1045
01:09:23,288 --> 01:09:26,458
You know you look good
in that tux, right?
1046
01:09:26,583 --> 01:09:28,544
Your hair looks fine.
1047
01:09:28,627 --> 01:09:31,421
Thank you. Bethany did it.
Really?
1048
01:09:31,505 --> 01:09:34,925
I should go by there one day. No.
Promise me you will not go in there.
1049
01:09:35,008 --> 01:09:37,344
Okay. Okay.
1050
01:09:39,137 --> 01:09:41,431
You know, you're a good dancer.
1051
01:09:42,850 --> 01:09:46,353
You know. Body movement's
my specialty.
1052
01:09:50,107 --> 01:09:51,900
Smooth.
1053
01:09:51,984 --> 01:09:54,778
You know, they once banned
dipping in some countries...
1054
01:09:54,903 --> 01:09:57,823
because it was considered
a form of foreplay.
1055
01:09:57,948 --> 01:10:00,576
I didn't know that.
1056
01:10:02,786 --> 01:10:05,747
Okay.
1057
01:10:05,831 --> 01:10:09,418
You learn something new
every day, huh? Yeah.
1058
01:10:11,003 --> 01:10:13,130
How long do you
wanna stay here?
1059
01:10:13,213 --> 01:10:16,133
After watching Lucius grovel,
1060
01:10:16,216 --> 01:10:18,177
not long.
1061
01:10:19,511 --> 01:10:21,471
What you wanna do?
1062
01:10:22,598 --> 01:10:24,600
Something fun.
1063
01:10:34,610 --> 01:10:37,070
Nice sofa.
1064
01:10:37,196 --> 01:10:40,073
I bought it just for you.
1065
01:10:40,199 --> 01:10:42,159
Just a second.
Let me get this off.
1066
01:10:42,242 --> 01:10:45,204
No, Eva. Don't take
your clothes off.
1067
01:10:45,287 --> 01:10:48,207
You wanna do it with them on? I'm
into that. Let me hike this up.
1068
01:10:48,332 --> 01:10:52,169
No. No, no, no, no.
I can't do this.
1069
01:10:52,252 --> 01:10:55,839
The bulge in your pants
didn't get that memo, so-
1070
01:10:56,006 --> 01:10:58,884
No, no, no, no. I- I need
to tell you something.
1071
01:10:59,009 --> 01:11:03,180
Yes. Whatever it is, yes. Yes. No, look.
1072
01:11:03,305 --> 01:11:05,724
I don't wanna move too fast.
1073
01:11:05,849 --> 01:11:09,311
Fast? No. The average American couple
has sex on their third date, and...
1074
01:11:09,394 --> 01:11:14,191
we have been dating way,
way, way longer than that.
1075
01:11:14,316 --> 01:11:16,276
I just-
1076
01:11:16,401 --> 01:11:18,737
Look, you've been through
so much stuff with men.
1077
01:11:18,820 --> 01:11:21,031
And I don't wanna mess things
up. I want it to be perfect.
1078
01:11:21,156 --> 01:11:23,158
I just think
we should wait a while.
1079
01:11:24,868 --> 01:11:27,788
I have to respect that,
don't I?
1080
01:11:27,913 --> 01:11:30,499
Yeah, I guess you do.
1081
01:11:32,042 --> 01:11:34,169
I have to go.
1082
01:11:34,336 --> 01:11:39,007
Please, don't be mad at me.
No, I'm not. It's just-
1083
01:11:39,132 --> 01:11:43,136
I just never had a guy who cared so
much about my feelings. It's kind of-
1084
01:11:43,262 --> 01:11:46,181
Oooh. It's making me
want you even more.
1085
01:11:46,265 --> 01:11:48,267
And if I don't leave
right now,
1086
01:11:48,392 --> 01:11:51,186
I'm gonna start saying all kinds
of hot, nasty, dirty things.
1087
01:11:51,270 --> 01:11:54,064
How hot and nasty?
Real freaky.
1088
01:11:54,189 --> 01:11:56,233
Go. Go.
Oh, God. Okay.
1089
01:11:56,358 --> 01:12:00,237
Stay.
Yeah? Oh, God.
1090
01:12:01,363 --> 01:12:03,156
No.
Okay.
1091
01:12:05,033 --> 01:12:06,994
Look-
1092
01:12:32,936 --> 01:12:34,938
Yes!
1093
01:12:50,120 --> 01:12:52,372
Oh, my God.
1094
01:12:52,456 --> 01:12:55,042
Did I hurt you?
Yes.
1095
01:12:55,125 --> 01:12:57,127
But I liked it.
Yeah?
1096
01:12:59,254 --> 01:13:01,924
Maybe next time we'll
actually make it to the bed.
1097
01:13:02,007 --> 01:13:05,219
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
1098
01:13:05,302 --> 01:13:08,013
That was good.
1099
01:13:08,138 --> 01:13:10,390
Ray,
1100
01:13:10,516 --> 01:13:14,978
I wanted to say, the stuff I said
before, I just wanted to apologize.
1101
01:13:15,103 --> 01:13:17,731
I mean, how I acted.
1102
01:13:17,814 --> 01:13:21,276
That was
a beautiful apology.
1103
01:13:21,360 --> 01:13:24,446
The best part was when
you called me Ray.
1104
01:13:24,530 --> 01:13:28,116
That's 'cause there's not a lot of
need to be formal right about now.
1105
01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:30,786
'Cause I'm a big ho.
1106
01:13:30,869 --> 01:13:32,829
If you really wanna make
it up to me, tell me a joke.
1107
01:13:32,913 --> 01:13:36,500
No. I'm not a good joke teller. I'm
terrible. That's what makes it so special.
1108
01:13:38,460 --> 01:13:42,297
Okay. Oh, God.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
1109
01:13:42,464 --> 01:13:44,925
Okay. Okay.
1110
01:13:45,050 --> 01:13:48,095
This guy goes
to a zoo, right?
1111
01:13:48,220 --> 01:13:50,973
You're gonna like it.
Okay, he goes to a zoo.
1112
01:13:51,098 --> 01:13:54,601
And he sees this gorilla.
Okay.
1113
01:13:54,685 --> 01:13:59,147
Okay. And he says to the gorilla, "Yo, brother. Can you give."
1114
01:13:59,231 --> 01:14:02,609
No. He says,
"Yo, brother. Can you loan-"
1115
01:14:02,693 --> 01:14:04,778
Yeah. "Yo, brother.
Can you loan me a dollar?"
1116
01:14:04,862 --> 01:14:09,449
And the gorilla says,
"That's why I don't wear pants."
1117
01:14:09,533 --> 01:14:12,661
Right.
Oh, my God.
1118
01:14:12,744 --> 01:14:15,539
Don't you get it?
The pants and the gorilla.
1119
01:14:15,706 --> 01:14:18,584
Yeah. Best joke
I ever heard.
1120
01:14:18,709 --> 01:14:21,879
Best joke I ever heard.
I forgot about that joke.
1121
01:14:22,004 --> 01:14:25,883
Oh, my God.
Oh, my goodness.
1122
01:14:29,344 --> 01:14:31,889
Ray?
Hmm?
1123
01:14:32,014 --> 01:14:34,683
Thinking about what you told me
about your parents.
1124
01:14:34,766 --> 01:14:40,314
God, I mean, my folks died, but I
had my sisters to live for, you know?
1125
01:14:40,397 --> 01:14:42,524
I just think it might be-
1126
01:14:42,649 --> 01:14:46,653
it might be easier for you to get
over your fear of building a life...
1127
01:14:46,737 --> 01:14:49,489
if you had someone there
to help you do it.
1128
01:14:49,615 --> 01:14:52,034
I see.
1129
01:14:52,117 --> 01:14:54,077
You wanna be my bridge.
1130
01:14:54,203 --> 01:14:57,623
It's not like I wanna get
married to you or anything.
1131
01:14:59,333 --> 01:15:02,878
I can- I can be a really
good friend, that's all.
1132
01:15:04,713 --> 01:15:08,675
You give me your body, and then
you offer me your friendship?
1133
01:15:08,800 --> 01:15:11,053
My priorities are straight.
Thank you very much.
1134
01:15:11,178 --> 01:15:14,681
I'm offering you
the best of me right now.
1135
01:15:14,765 --> 01:15:18,352
Eva.
1136
01:15:18,435 --> 01:15:21,396
I'm not the person
you think I am.
1137
01:15:24,274 --> 01:15:28,529
I know most women think their
man is the one that's different.
1138
01:15:29,905 --> 01:15:32,074
None of us are different.
1139
01:15:32,157 --> 01:15:34,743
I'm just like other men.
1140
01:15:36,578 --> 01:15:38,539
Maybe not as good as most.
1141
01:15:38,664 --> 01:15:41,792
I want you to think about what it
would take to build a bridge with me.
1142
01:15:45,796 --> 01:15:50,926
I can handle it, Ray. Okay?
I can handle it.
1143
01:15:51,051 --> 01:15:55,889
As long as you keep giving
me what I need, I am good.
1144
01:15:56,014 --> 01:15:58,267
You got all you want?
Yeah.
1145
01:15:58,392 --> 01:16:01,603
That. That.
A whole lot of that.
1146
01:16:01,687 --> 01:16:04,731
A lot of that?
A lot of that.
1147
01:16:04,815 --> 01:16:06,942
And all the other stuff too.
1148
01:16:09,403 --> 01:16:11,363
You hear me?
1149
01:16:11,488 --> 01:16:14,408
How can I turn down
a deal like that?
1150
01:16:15,742 --> 01:16:17,703
You can't.
1151
01:16:18,829 --> 01:16:20,789
Can you?
1152
01:16:24,835 --> 01:16:26,920
What's up?
1153
01:16:27,004 --> 01:16:29,173
Hey, girl. Nice shoes.
1154
01:16:29,339 --> 01:16:31,675
Ormandy. You look good.
1155
01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:35,762
Telly, baby,
give me some love.
1156
01:16:35,929 --> 01:16:38,599
Eva, what has gotten
into you?
1157
01:16:38,682 --> 01:16:41,935
- Not "what," "who."
- What are you wearing?
1158
01:16:42,019 --> 01:16:44,813
- Eva, you're glowing.
- What did you do?
1159
01:16:44,897 --> 01:16:47,274
Shit, I ain't sharing
my "bidness" with you.
1160
01:16:47,357 --> 01:16:51,486
- Oh, my God. She said "shit. "
- And "bidness."
1161
01:16:51,570 --> 01:16:56,950
- She gone mad to her ass.
- Y'all need to stop trippin'. I'm just in a good mood.
1162
01:16:57,034 --> 01:17:01,747
It's a beautiful day out. I'm with my
girls. Stop sweatin' me. My joints is hot.
1163
01:17:01,872 --> 01:17:04,499
And my cakes is moist.
1164
01:17:04,666 --> 01:17:07,711
Can a sister get some water, or
a fan or iceberg or something?
1165
01:17:07,878 --> 01:17:11,798
- Okay, Eva, for real. You're scaring me.
- Did you and Ray do it or not?
1166
01:17:11,924 --> 01:17:13,884
Well,
1167
01:17:14,009 --> 01:17:16,470
he did show up
at the mayor's fund- raiser.
1168
01:17:16,595 --> 01:17:21,433
Just when I was trapped
by Lucius Johnson...
1169
01:17:21,558 --> 01:17:23,519
and his wife.
1170
01:17:23,644 --> 01:17:26,146
- You saw Lucius? What did you do?
- Nothing. Ray did it.
1171
01:17:26,230 --> 01:17:28,524
He put that little sucker
in his place.
1172
01:17:28,607 --> 01:17:31,360
Excuse me, is there
like some, um, boning...
1173
01:17:31,443 --> 01:17:34,696
or salad tossing or something
in this story? Stop it.
1174
01:17:34,821 --> 01:17:39,034
Come on.
Okay. After he rescued me,
1175
01:17:39,159 --> 01:17:42,079
we danced all night long.
1176
01:17:42,204 --> 01:17:44,748
Slow, close,
1177
01:17:44,873 --> 01:17:47,084
just pelvis to pelvis.
1178
01:17:48,460 --> 01:17:50,295
And then we went back
to my place...
1179
01:17:50,420 --> 01:17:53,006
and had a nice
respectable evening.
1180
01:17:54,716 --> 01:17:56,885
And then we burned
a hole in the floor!
1181
01:18:01,265 --> 01:18:05,060
Wow. There's my baby.
Let's get freaky- deaky.
1182
01:18:05,143 --> 01:18:07,271
Come on, to the bedroom.
Follow me.
1183
01:18:07,396 --> 01:18:10,983
You know what Eva told me?
Here we go.
1184
01:18:11,108 --> 01:18:15,153
She told me that Ray drives his
old van from his job to save money.
1185
01:18:15,279 --> 01:18:17,906
So what? I mean, what's that
got to do with freaky-deaky?
1186
01:18:17,990 --> 01:18:20,659
I don't feel like
I sacrifice like Ray does.
1187
01:18:20,784 --> 01:18:23,871
You know, when I need to get
back into being focused on school.
1188
01:18:23,954 --> 01:18:28,083
Look. First off, Ray and
Eva, they ain't you and me.
1189
01:18:28,208 --> 01:18:30,043
I know that.
They're not married.
1190
01:18:30,127 --> 01:18:33,338
They ain't phone-boning. They're
not having sex. None of that.
1191
01:18:33,463 --> 01:18:35,591
Actually, they do have sex.
1192
01:18:35,716 --> 01:18:38,552
He hit that?
Mm-hmm.
1193
01:18:38,635 --> 01:18:41,054
And from what I hear,
1194
01:18:41,180 --> 01:18:44,600
you could take a little lesson
from him in that department.
1195
01:18:46,810 --> 01:18:48,770
What the-
1196
01:18:48,896 --> 01:18:51,773
What's that supposed to mean?
He got some tricks and shit?
1197
01:18:51,899 --> 01:18:54,151
I seen the dude
lickin' his lips and stuff.
1198
01:18:54,276 --> 01:18:58,572
Come on, sexy. Let's play doctor.
Tim, listen to me, all right?
1199
01:18:58,655 --> 01:19:01,950
I have been thinking a lot
about Ray and Eva.
1200
01:19:02,034 --> 01:19:04,703
And how they have this wonderful
new relationship, right?
1201
01:19:04,828 --> 01:19:07,789
And it's made me think about myself
and the plan that I had for my life...
1202
01:19:07,873 --> 01:19:09,833
and how I let it go.
1203
01:19:09,958 --> 01:19:13,253
What? But, baby,
I threw all my condoms out.
1204
01:19:13,337 --> 01:19:15,130
Honey.
Ohh.
1205
01:19:15,255 --> 01:19:17,758
I'll get you some more.
They're on sale at Target.
1206
01:19:17,925 --> 01:19:19,885
Come on, Kareenah!
Sweetie, listen.
1207
01:19:20,010 --> 01:19:23,889
I am ready. Baby, I am so damn fertile
that if you kiss me you'll get pregnant.
1208
01:19:24,014 --> 01:19:26,475
This isn't like buying a coat.
If you have a baby,
1209
01:19:26,558 --> 01:19:28,936
you can't give it back
if you don't want it.
1210
01:19:30,812 --> 01:19:33,899
Who said that, Ray or
Eva? I don't remember.
1211
01:19:35,776 --> 01:19:38,278
Honey, why is my potpourri
on the bed?
1212
01:19:38,362 --> 01:19:40,364
See-
Get the DustBuster.
1213
01:19:40,447 --> 01:19:43,325
It was- I was gonna-
It's hot in here.
1214
01:19:43,408 --> 01:19:46,370
Baby, I thought we've
been through this already.
1215
01:19:46,453 --> 01:19:48,956
Ray and Eva have a good relationship
and they don't cohabitate.
1216
01:19:49,122 --> 01:19:52,876
Oh, my God. That's all I've been
hearing lately. Ray and Eva. Ray and Eva.
1217
01:19:53,001 --> 01:19:57,464
It's not like they're Will
and Jada or George and Weezy.
1218
01:19:57,589 --> 01:20:01,218
They each have their own place.
They have respect for each other.
1219
01:20:01,343 --> 01:20:05,305
Ray doesn't even
care about Eva. I paid-
1220
01:20:05,430 --> 01:20:08,350
I paid close attention to him.
He does not like her.
1221
01:20:08,433 --> 01:20:10,435
Sure. That's why Ray
calls her every day.
1222
01:20:10,561 --> 01:20:12,729
That's why they have lunch
together three times a week.
1223
01:20:12,855 --> 01:20:17,192
That's why Eva's thinking about
passing on a new job to stay. What job?
1224
01:20:17,276 --> 01:20:19,820
Eva was offered
a new job in Chicago.
1225
01:20:19,903 --> 01:20:22,322
But she's gonna say no
because she found Ray.
1226
01:20:22,447 --> 01:20:26,535
- Ain't that a- - But here's
something that'll make you happy.
1227
01:20:26,660 --> 01:20:31,081
- We're dissolving the Dandridge fund.
- Really? That's great.
1228
01:20:31,206 --> 01:20:33,375
- Eva's gonna keep it all.
- What?
1229
01:20:33,458 --> 01:20:38,213
You know. She has a new life, a new man.
She's gonna need that money. Okay, baby.
1230
01:20:38,338 --> 01:20:43,051
Here's all your stuff. Let
yourself out, okay? Love you.
1231
01:21:41,151 --> 01:21:44,488
Is there something wrong?
1232
01:21:44,613 --> 01:21:48,242
I took your advice and convinced
my boss to let me run his company.
1233
01:21:48,325 --> 01:21:50,494
He told me I could
start next week.
1234
01:21:50,619 --> 01:21:54,623
He did? That's great.
Congratulations.
1235
01:21:57,167 --> 01:22:00,087
That's good news, right?
1236
01:22:00,170 --> 01:22:02,756
Yeah.
1237
01:22:02,881 --> 01:22:05,342
You made me realize
I can't run from myself.
1238
01:22:05,425 --> 01:22:08,804
It's like someone gave me
a pair of glasses...
1239
01:22:08,929 --> 01:22:12,140
that filter out all the foolishness
and stupidity in my life.
1240
01:22:12,266 --> 01:22:15,102
What have I given you
for that gift, Eva?
1241
01:22:15,185 --> 01:22:18,397
Nothing.
1242
01:22:18,522 --> 01:22:21,108
You taught me how to trust again,
Ray. I wouldn't call that nothing.
1243
01:22:24,069 --> 01:22:28,532
And you've helped me come
to a decision of my own.
1244
01:22:28,615 --> 01:22:31,034
What?
1245
01:22:32,202 --> 01:22:33,996
Baby, if you're
gonna be here,
1246
01:22:37,082 --> 01:22:41,003
then this is exactly
where I wanna be.
1247
01:23:01,565 --> 01:23:04,568
Crossed the line with
Eva, didn't you, Ray? No.
1248
01:23:04,693 --> 01:23:06,820
Don't lie, you lyin'
bald- headed son of a bitch.
1249
01:23:06,945 --> 01:23:08,947
All I did was what
you paid me for.
1250
01:23:09,031 --> 01:23:11,700
And now that Eva's in a relationship,
our women are even worse.
1251
01:23:11,867 --> 01:23:14,119
Everything that you do
comes back on us.
1252
01:23:14,203 --> 01:23:16,496
And Eva's keeping
all the money, Ray.
1253
01:23:16,580 --> 01:23:19,333
That's not my fault. Like
hell it ain't your fault, Ray!
1254
01:23:19,458 --> 01:23:23,587
Something's wrong with you, Ray. You've
been having too much damn fun with Eva.
1255
01:23:23,712 --> 01:23:25,672
You haven't asked for any
expenses lately. Why's that?
1256
01:23:25,756 --> 01:23:28,258
You pay for the woman.
You must like the woman.
1257
01:23:28,383 --> 01:23:32,763
That's ridiculous. I'm a player. I'm on
the job. What's in the garment bag, Ray?
1258
01:23:32,888 --> 01:23:36,225
Nothing. A suit.
I got a promotion at work.
1259
01:23:36,350 --> 01:23:40,646
A promotion? That is Eva
all the way. No, that's me.
1260
01:23:40,729 --> 01:23:43,482
Then what the hell is this?
Tupperware.
1261
01:23:43,607 --> 01:23:45,692
That's Eva's middle name.
1262
01:23:45,859 --> 01:23:48,278
I just needed
to organize a few things.
1263
01:23:48,403 --> 01:23:50,864
Organization is Eva's
second middle name.
1264
01:23:50,948 --> 01:23:53,534
Look, Eva got a job offer
in Chicago.
1265
01:23:53,617 --> 01:23:57,120
You're gonna dump her. That way, she
has no reason to stay here, get it?
1266
01:23:57,246 --> 01:24:00,207
Yes. Say "yes," Ray.
She's staying because of me?
1267
01:24:00,290 --> 01:24:03,919
Uh-uh. She's staying because
you boned her. You boned her!
1268
01:24:04,044 --> 01:24:07,464
We know all about it, partner. And
that is like stealing from your job.
1269
01:24:07,589 --> 01:24:11,051
You have embezzled the booty. Now, look.
1270
01:24:11,176 --> 01:24:14,763
You're gonna call her tomorrow,
and you're gonna tell her it's over.
1271
01:24:14,930 --> 01:24:17,558
No. He did not just say "no," did he?
1272
01:24:17,683 --> 01:24:22,104
- No, I said "no."
- Listen, now! Hold up for a second!
1273
01:24:22,271 --> 01:24:25,065
You're supposed to be a master
player. You forgot the rules.
1274
01:24:25,190 --> 01:24:28,902
Players don't feel. That's like a
pimp with a health plan, brother.
1275
01:24:29,027 --> 01:24:31,989
Mike, where did you find
this big-ass bamba, man?
1276
01:24:32,114 --> 01:24:35,868
You done went from DMX to Babyface
on us, man. What's up with that?
1277
01:24:35,951 --> 01:24:39,830
Wait. They done gave you
a copy of their theme song.
1278
01:24:39,955 --> 01:24:42,541
They done made you an
orange. Okay, okay, look.
1279
01:24:42,624 --> 01:24:45,377
I'm sorry. I do like her,
all right?
1280
01:24:45,460 --> 01:24:49,715
I had to open my heart to get to her,
and when I did, she got to me first.
1281
01:24:51,341 --> 01:24:54,011
- I think I might love her.
- Love?
1282
01:24:54,136 --> 01:24:57,931
Love is an excuse, an alibi,
a justification for sex.
1283
01:24:58,015 --> 01:25:02,019
But it is not something that should
stop a man from keeping his promise, Ray.
1284
01:25:02,144 --> 01:25:05,147
Look. I'm sorry, fellas.
1285
01:25:05,272 --> 01:25:07,649
I'm going to
see Eva tonight,
1286
01:25:07,774 --> 01:25:10,110
and the least I can do is
tell her in person what I did.
1287
01:25:10,235 --> 01:25:12,196
So... that's it.
1288
01:25:13,989 --> 01:25:15,532
What?
1289
01:25:15,657 --> 01:25:18,327
Come on. Let's go.
1290
01:25:18,452 --> 01:25:20,412
Mike. Mike!
1291
01:25:23,415 --> 01:25:26,752
So, is she real good, man? Does
she have some methods that she did?
1292
01:25:26,835 --> 01:25:29,880
'Cause I'm trying
to getJacqui-
1293
01:25:43,352 --> 01:25:45,646
Ha!
1294
01:25:51,360 --> 01:25:53,153
This is bull-
1295
01:25:56,031 --> 01:25:59,868
Thank you, Thomas.
No problem.
1296
01:25:59,993 --> 01:26:02,663
I need to get up out of here so y'all
can get back to dissin' us brothers.
1297
01:26:02,788 --> 01:26:05,958
I know how y'all is.
Excuse us?
1298
01:26:06,041 --> 01:26:08,252
Aw, man. Y'all females
be trippin', man.
1299
01:26:08,377 --> 01:26:10,420
Look. First y'all
drive men away,
1300
01:26:10,546 --> 01:26:13,090
then y'all wanna bitch and moan
when y'all ain't got one.
1301
01:26:13,215 --> 01:26:15,133
Hold up. Hold up.
Code 12.
1302
01:26:15,217 --> 01:26:18,720
You know why I complain,
Thomas?
1303
01:26:18,846 --> 01:26:22,307
- 'Cause I need a real man.
- Here we go.
1304
01:26:22,391 --> 01:26:26,228
I need a real man,
not a child or a boy.
1305
01:26:26,353 --> 01:26:30,315
Give me a hard rock, not
a soft little toy. Wow.
1306
01:26:30,440 --> 01:26:35,153
You think women are hard?
You think we're evil and mean?
1307
01:26:35,237 --> 01:26:38,657
- Well, I think maybe you don't need us.
- Maybe you on the wrong team.
1308
01:26:41,743 --> 01:26:45,914
So I need a real man,
and my standards are high.
1309
01:26:46,039 --> 01:26:49,960
Don't like what you just heard?
Then you need not apply.
1310
01:26:57,467 --> 01:27:00,971
Wait a second. Fresh meat.
1311
01:27:01,096 --> 01:27:03,640
Come on.
Leave 'em alone, ladies.
1312
01:27:03,765 --> 01:27:07,811
Mike. Honey, is something
wrong? I got some bad news.
1313
01:27:07,936 --> 01:27:11,064
It's, uh- It's about Ray.
1314
01:27:11,148 --> 01:27:14,026
Ray!
My Ray?
1315
01:27:20,574 --> 01:27:24,203
What- Is he okay?
1316
01:27:42,513 --> 01:27:45,974
Some story, huh?
Well, it's not quite complete.
1317
01:27:46,058 --> 01:27:50,187
We got three hours before the funeral,
fellas. Is all the food and water okay?
1318
01:27:50,312 --> 01:27:53,524
Everything is okay. Darrell,
where did you find this place?
1319
01:27:53,649 --> 01:27:57,069
This is an old postal storage
warehouse, but we don't use it anymore,
1320
01:27:57,194 --> 01:28:00,531
not till now.
1321
01:28:00,656 --> 01:28:04,159
Look here, Ray. You got everything
you need. You even have two bathrooms.
1322
01:28:04,284 --> 01:28:07,287
Bucket number one,
and bucket number two.
1323
01:28:07,412 --> 01:28:11,542
You'll be a little gamey in a
few days, but you'll be alive.
1324
01:28:11,667 --> 01:28:14,878
This won't work. Oh, yes
it will, baby muscles.
1325
01:28:15,003 --> 01:28:19,383
See, you've died in a car accident
according to this police report.
1326
01:28:19,508 --> 01:28:21,468
Show him. Right here.
Yeah, yeah.
1327
01:28:21,552 --> 01:28:24,596
Eva needed to know that your
body was immediately cremated.
1328
01:28:24,680 --> 01:28:27,641
What about my family? Did you
think about that, smart guys?
1329
01:28:27,724 --> 01:28:32,104
You ain't got no relatives, Ray, and very
little friends, thanks to your job-hopping.
1330
01:28:32,187 --> 01:28:36,900
And Eva took that job in Chi-town
after she found out you were dead.
1331
01:28:37,025 --> 01:28:39,444
It's not fair for you to
make her leave under a lie.
1332
01:28:39,528 --> 01:28:43,407
It wasn't fair for you
to screw us on that deal.
1333
01:28:43,532 --> 01:28:47,202
No, Ray. Let him go.
Let him go!
1334
01:28:48,537 --> 01:28:51,164
Come on. Fellas,
fellas, fellas, listen.
1335
01:28:51,248 --> 01:28:55,252
Listen. Maybe we need to just think
about this for one minute, all right?
1336
01:28:55,377 --> 01:28:58,338
No, you think about this.
It's our word against his.
1337
01:28:58,422 --> 01:29:01,800
By the time he tells Eva the
truth, she'll be long gone.
1338
01:29:01,884 --> 01:29:06,972
And then we can say we didn't know anything
about this sick joke that he played on her.
1339
01:29:07,055 --> 01:29:09,391
What the hell are you doing
falling in love with Eva?
1340
01:29:09,516 --> 01:29:13,187
I think it's 'cause she got some good booty,
man. See all that aggression he got in him?
1341
01:29:13,312 --> 01:29:16,648
That's 'cause he ain't
gettin' none. Let's go.
1342
01:29:16,773 --> 01:29:18,859
Come on, Tim.
1343
01:29:19,026 --> 01:29:21,153
Tim, come on!
1344
01:29:24,364 --> 01:29:28,452
First of all, I'd like to thank
all of you for coming today.
1345
01:29:28,577 --> 01:29:32,456
You know, Ray and I didn't
really know each other very long,
1346
01:29:32,581 --> 01:29:36,585
but... in that short amount
of time,
1347
01:29:37,836 --> 01:29:40,631
we became really close.
1348
01:29:40,756 --> 01:29:45,010
You know, when someone
enters your life,you-
1349
01:29:45,093 --> 01:29:47,179
you don't really know
how it changes you...
1350
01:29:48,597 --> 01:29:50,557
until they're gone.
1351
01:29:50,641 --> 01:29:53,143
I thought you said this was
gonna be a simple funeral.
1352
01:29:53,268 --> 01:29:55,270
Who are all these people?
1353
01:29:55,354 --> 01:29:57,814
Eva. She invited
all her friends from work.
1354
01:29:57,940 --> 01:30:00,150
Where the hell does
Eva work at, Soul Train?
1355
01:30:00,275 --> 01:30:02,528
Look at all these black
people in here. It's packed.
1356
01:30:02,611 --> 01:30:05,739
Look.Just hang in there.
It's gonna be okay. I promise.
1357
01:30:06,907 --> 01:30:09,368
I've, uh,
1358
01:30:09,493 --> 01:30:13,247
invited my friend Valerie
from my church choir...
1359
01:30:14,122 --> 01:30:16,333
to sing a song.
1360
01:31:39,833 --> 01:31:41,543
Eva!
1361
01:31:46,715 --> 01:31:48,509
Lord, it's a miracle.
1362
01:31:52,763 --> 01:31:56,058
Oh, my God. Baby.
1363
01:31:56,183 --> 01:32:00,145
What happened? Oh, my God.
1364
01:32:00,229 --> 01:32:03,899
This whole thing was a lie.
It's all a lie.
1365
01:32:04,066 --> 01:32:08,612
No, I wasn't in on this, okay?
Y'all did this on your own.
1366
01:32:13,408 --> 01:32:17,538
Tim, Mike and Darrell...
faked my death...
1367
01:32:18,747 --> 01:32:21,041
so that you'd leave town.
That's a lie!
1368
01:32:21,124 --> 01:32:25,546
Eva, he wanted to dump you, but he didn't
have the guts to tell you face-to-face.
1369
01:32:25,629 --> 01:32:27,965
That's what happened. Mm-hmm. Ray?
1370
01:32:29,591 --> 01:32:31,969
Is that true?
1371
01:32:33,095 --> 01:32:36,014
No, it isn't.
Don't, Tim!
1372
01:32:36,139 --> 01:32:38,225
- Please!
- It's over.
1373
01:32:38,392 --> 01:32:42,020
Eva, we did take Ray.
1374
01:32:44,022 --> 01:32:45,899
And we lied about him
being dead.
1375
01:32:46,024 --> 01:32:51,238
This is the best funeral I've ever
been to in my life. You got that right.
1376
01:32:51,321 --> 01:32:53,448
I'm sorry.
1377
01:32:53,574 --> 01:32:56,243
It's not their fault.
Like hell it isn't.
1378
01:32:56,326 --> 01:32:58,912
You three...
1379
01:32:58,996 --> 01:33:01,790
have yet to feel my rage.
1380
01:33:01,915 --> 01:33:04,376
Eva,you don't understand.
1381
01:33:05,627 --> 01:33:07,629
It's because of me.
1382
01:33:07,754 --> 01:33:11,049
The only reason
I went out with you...
1383
01:33:11,175 --> 01:33:13,886
is because they paid me to.
1384
01:33:17,306 --> 01:33:21,185
I was supposed to...
make you like me,
1385
01:33:21,310 --> 01:33:23,770
then trick you
into moving away.
1386
01:33:23,896 --> 01:33:26,106
But I didn't know you then.
1387
01:33:26,190 --> 01:33:30,444
I didn't realize
how wonderful you are.
1388
01:33:30,569 --> 01:33:33,572
How much you changed me,
make me wanna change.
1389
01:33:35,324 --> 01:33:38,452
I know I was wrong,
but...
1390
01:33:38,577 --> 01:33:41,246
what we have is bigger
than all the mistakes I've made.
1391
01:33:41,330 --> 01:33:43,832
I'm certain of that.
1392
01:33:45,751 --> 01:33:47,920
How much did they pay you?
1393
01:33:51,048 --> 01:33:53,300
Eva, that's not-
How much?
1394
01:33:57,346 --> 01:33:59,515
Five thousand dollars.
1395
01:33:59,640 --> 01:34:03,519
But, Eva, I'm giving them
that money back, and I promise-
1396
01:34:05,979 --> 01:34:09,024
Oooh!
1397
01:34:10,484 --> 01:34:14,029
You are exactly
who I thought you were.
1398
01:34:23,830 --> 01:34:28,544
So, I guess
you're single now, huh?
1399
01:34:28,669 --> 01:34:30,671
Excuse me.
1400
01:35:05,205 --> 01:35:07,082
Police!
1401
01:35:07,207 --> 01:35:09,585
Eva, please. Let me
have a minute. Stalker!
1402
01:35:09,710 --> 01:35:14,256
Sixty seconds, Eva. Okay,
okay, one minute. Go, Raymond.
1403
01:35:14,381 --> 01:35:17,885
Raymond? How did I get all
the way back to Raymond? Right.
1404
01:35:18,010 --> 01:35:20,053
I don't want you
to stop being mad.
1405
01:35:20,179 --> 01:35:22,347
I understand how you feel.
1406
01:35:22,472 --> 01:35:25,434
I'm upset, too,
at myself.
1407
01:35:25,559 --> 01:35:29,938
But we need to remember what we're
losing here. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
1408
01:35:30,063 --> 01:35:32,024
I know you still have
feelings for me.
1409
01:35:32,149 --> 01:35:35,110
I have feelings for you.
1410
01:35:35,235 --> 01:35:39,656
Life is hard, Eva. We both
passed up on a lot of good things.
1411
01:35:39,781 --> 01:35:42,618
We are too wise
for that now.
1412
01:35:42,743 --> 01:35:47,497
I am never, ever gonna find
another woman like you.
1413
01:35:49,416 --> 01:35:52,211
I love you.
1414
01:35:56,798 --> 01:35:58,842
You know what I learned
about love, Raymond?
1415
01:35:59,009 --> 01:36:01,553
It isn't a virus that
infects you. It's a choice.
1416
01:36:01,720 --> 01:36:06,850
We choose to be in love, and
we choose what love makes us do.
1417
01:36:06,934 --> 01:36:10,729
I earned your choice,
and you stole mine.
1418
01:36:12,773 --> 01:36:15,234
I was ready to give up
my entire life for you,
1419
01:36:15,317 --> 01:36:18,529
and all you were
ready to do was let me.
1420
01:36:18,612 --> 01:36:20,906
So are you sure?
1421
01:36:20,989 --> 01:36:23,200
Are you sure you love me?
1422
01:36:23,283 --> 01:36:25,661
Or are you just upset that...
1423
01:36:25,786 --> 01:36:27,746
I found out what you were...
1424
01:36:27,829 --> 01:36:31,750
and... made a different choice?
1425
01:36:36,797 --> 01:36:40,759
That's what I thought.
Excuse me, I have travel plans.
1426
01:36:43,846 --> 01:36:45,889
What's up, fellas?
1427
01:36:47,808 --> 01:36:51,436
Eva, you don't
have to rub it in.
1428
01:36:51,562 --> 01:36:56,859
We've been trying to apologize to your
sisters for weeks. They still hate us.
1429
01:36:56,984 --> 01:36:59,778
My sisters love you.
1430
01:37:01,655 --> 01:37:05,033
They love you so much.
1431
01:37:05,158 --> 01:37:10,914
I was just a distraction
and a huge pain in the ass.
1432
01:37:10,998 --> 01:37:13,333
And I am so sorry.
1433
01:37:15,294 --> 01:37:18,130
We dissolved the Dandridge fund
and split it up yesterday.
1434
01:37:32,895 --> 01:37:36,106
Let's go home.
Let's get out of here.
1435
01:37:36,231 --> 01:37:38,483
And I can read you a book.
1436
01:37:38,609 --> 01:37:41,236
Yeah. As long as
it's not a scary book.
1437
01:37:41,361 --> 01:37:43,989
I don't like scary books.
1438
01:37:48,368 --> 01:37:51,747
Maybe we could have
some, uh- some make-up sex.
1439
01:37:51,872 --> 01:37:54,583
Don't worry.
I have plenty of protection.
1440
01:37:56,376 --> 01:37:58,670
We don't need it.
1441
01:38:06,053 --> 01:38:10,182
I wanna do this right now
before I lose my nerve.
1442
01:38:13,727 --> 01:38:15,521
What are you doing?
1443
01:38:15,604 --> 01:38:20,692
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
1444
01:38:20,776 --> 01:38:23,195
Will you?
Yes.
1445
01:38:27,783 --> 01:38:29,993
Congratulations.
1446
01:38:30,077 --> 01:38:33,163
You know what? We should all go to dinner. Eva, let's
- Yeah.
1447
01:38:56,270 --> 01:38:58,313
Holy mother of God.
1448
01:39:01,191 --> 01:39:03,068
Hey, Eva!
1449
01:39:09,908 --> 01:39:12,077
Whoa. Whoa.
1450
01:39:23,130 --> 01:39:25,591
I quit my job, sold my
house and bought him.
1451
01:39:25,674 --> 01:39:29,219
You shouldn't have.
I can't be bought.
1452
01:39:29,303 --> 01:39:33,182
I got him a home in a stable just
outside of town. It's paid up for a year.
1453
01:39:33,307 --> 01:39:36,101
Are you even
listening to me?
1454
01:39:36,185 --> 01:39:38,687
Yes. Now you listen to me.
1455
01:39:38,812 --> 01:39:41,857
You said love is a
choice. Well, I love you.
1456
01:39:41,982 --> 01:39:46,028
And I'm not leaving. I'm gonna
show up at your job every day.
1457
01:39:46,153 --> 01:39:48,155
I'm gonna send you gifts,
and tell you I'm sorry...
1458
01:39:48,280 --> 01:39:52,701
until you understand that
I will not live without you.
1459
01:39:52,826 --> 01:39:55,954
Or until you call
the cops on me, but...
1460
01:39:56,079 --> 01:39:58,498
even that won't stop me.
1461
01:40:00,709 --> 01:40:02,711
Excuse me, ma'am.
Is this your animal?
1462
01:40:08,675 --> 01:40:11,136
Yes, Officer.
This is my horse.
1463
01:40:12,888 --> 01:40:15,140
My horse.
1464
01:40:23,065 --> 01:40:25,484
You're gonna have
to move him off the street.
1465
01:40:37,246 --> 01:40:39,289
Will you buy
a horse for me?
1466
01:40:39,373 --> 01:40:42,960
No.
1467
01:44:50,457 --> 01:44:52,543
Hello, is Linda there?
1468
01:44:53,710 --> 01:44:55,379
Hey, babe.
1469
01:44:55,504 --> 01:44:57,756
Listen, I'll pick you up
over on Fairfax.
1470
01:44:59,466 --> 01:45:01,426
I'm at work.
1471
01:45:01,510 --> 01:45:04,680
No, you know you can't come by.
1472
01:45:04,763 --> 01:45:07,182
I'm pretending to be gay.
1473
01:45:07,307 --> 01:45:12,229
Because in L.A., a straight hairdresser
is an unemployed hairdresser.
1474
01:45:12,354 --> 01:45:14,606
Well, at least
until I get my own place.
1475
01:45:15,732 --> 01:45:18,610
Absolutely.
Okay, I love you too.
1476
01:45:18,694 --> 01:45:21,822
Telly, honey. Would it kill you
to come in there and do some work?
1477
01:45:21,947 --> 01:45:26,118
Oh, I'm sorry. I just had to check
on my honey. You know how they are.
1478
01:45:27,160 --> 01:45:33,417
Please rate this subtitle at %url%
Help other users to choose the best subtitles
123740
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.