Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

- Here you go. - Thank you.

Give it to house management.

And these...

Okay, well, thank you. I'll be...

- All right. - Yeah. I'll just be a minute.

- I'll be right back. - See ya.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a 7 o'clock half hour

for a 7:30 show this evening.

Just a reminder that when you get out of clothes,

please join us upstairs in the lobby for a little... send off.

Farewell.

Okay. I just wanna take everybody back

to the time when these two met.

Jen comes to me and she says, "Dad, listen, I met this guy,

"and he's all alone for the holidays.

"And he's a sailor." And I say, "No."

"No, no, no, no, no."

She says "Oh, Dad, please. Come on.

"He's separated from his family.

"Can I please invite him for Christmas?"

And I said yes.

Well, well, no, no.

Pat and I said yes.

And, boy, are we glad we did.

You two chose each other to be family.

I mean, poor Jen. When I think of it,

stuck with me and Pat. No choice.

No choice at all.

But David,

Jen chose you.

So be her rock.

Be her soft place to fall.

Huh?

And for God's sake, be the one to make her wear a life vest.

At all times, even on land.

A toast to Mr. and Mrs. Munroe.

May you always be as in love as you are today.

I love you.

Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers.

That's allowing me to somehow be okay

with standing here in front of you

telling you that unless you fight for me,

now, I am walking away.

I won't sit back and wait for you.

If that's what I think it is, we could just fucking go home now.

- Great. - Yeah.

Thanks.

- Thank you. - Great job.

- Appreciate it. Thank you. - Thank you for being here.

Bye, Nigel. It's so good to see you.

- Have a good day. - Thank you.

Bye, Nigel, I'll see you.

God.

Oh, my God. I'm so happy to see you.

- I am so happy to see you too. - How are you?

- I'm great. How are you? - I'm good.

Holy shit, you were slaying it in there.

I was, like, crying listening to you.

Thank you. No, this material, and that place,

- the grapple, right? - It's really powerful.

You have to just drop down into it.

Yeah. Yeah, you...

Have you worked with Nigel before?

No. No.

The nicest guy. Are you next?

No. God, no. I'm 40 minutes early.

Like a jackass.

Yeah. I like to just show up way too fucking early

and watch all the other actresses go in and be brilliant.

Lose all my self-confidence.

Oh, shut up. This outfit looks perfect.

Right? I borrowed this from my roommate.

This is my...

"I used to be a decent piece of ass,

"but now, I'm invisible 'cause my husband dumped me" look.

Jennie?

- You ready? - Uh, yeah, I just...

No, no, no, we're going by scheduled times.

- Okay. - Jennie, sorry.

- Didn't see you. - That's okay. Hi.

- Come on in, sweetie. - All right.

- How are you? - I'm good. How are you?

- Thanks for coming in. - Sure.

Nigel, this is Jennie Munroe.

You might have remembered her from the...

Oh, of course. I saw you in The Acorn last year.

- Oh. - You were great.

Thank you. Thanks so much.

Toby will read Alexander for you.

Uh, we're going to go back just a little bit from, uh...

"I, Alexander, take thee, Delaney."

Oh, okay.

Yeah. From the, uh, flashbacks,

to the vows.

That way, it'll just help you to launch yourself a little bit.

Great, great, great. That's...

"I, Alexander, take thee, Delaney, to be my wife.

"To have and to hold, to love, honor and cherish,

"from this day forward."

I, Delaney, take thee, Alexander,

to be my husband.

To honor...

To honor, cherish...

Hey, babe.

Who... Whose number...

Who do you know with a 407 number?

Four-O...

Who do you know with a 407 number?

Nobody.

I think you do.

Whoever it is, it's somebody you've spoken to at least once a day,

every single day for the last 30 days.

Are those my phone records? Or...

Who?

Oh, uh, right. She's just a friend.

She's just a friend I met.

Where?

Fort Pierce.

When I delivered the boat.

...to have and to hold.

Ugh.

Sorry about that.

Do you mind if I just... I'm just gonna go back.

- If that's okay. - Of course.

Dropped the easiest line in the whole play.

Everyone knows it. Even my parents.

Okay.

These are "My husband just dumped me" pants.

Throwing me off.

Here we go. Um...

"I, Alexander, take thee, Delaney,

"to be my wife.

"To have and to hold, to love, honor and cherish

"from this day forward."

I, Delaney, take thee, Alexander,

to be my husband.

To have and to hold,

from this day forward.

Okay. All right.

No, wait. Let's do two. Uh, one serious and one funny.

Okay.

Okay.

Uh, funny first.

Yep. Funny first.

There you go.

Okay.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

Happy anniversary.

- I'm sorry I can't afford more. - Not now, David.

- You deserve more. - Stop it.

We've spent all of our money so that we could move here.

I don't want anything else. I just want you.

- You do? - I do.

Come on. Come on, we just broke it.

Jennie, David, come in.

And I just... I-I...

I know that it's about the timing of all this,

you know, with this... with this other woman.

- So, um... - The affair?

Yes, and I-I...

I know that we're scared that we're, both scared,

- but I just... - Is that true, David?

What? That we're scared?

Are you scared?

She's always scared.

Are you?

I guess so.

You guess so?

Yep.

Can you tell me what else you might be feeling?

Jennie mentioned that you seemed angry...

at her.

Is that true?

- Is that even... - Jennie.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, babe.

David,

are you angry?

I don't know.

At, at me?

At Jennie, David.

What are you so angry about?

In my experience,

- when people refuse to speak... - I don't wanna be a dad.

If that's what you were asking.

- Get it? - No, I got it, it's all right.

- Hey! - Hey!

Merry Christmas.

We were so worried about you guys.

We didn't hear that you had landed okay.

I think you would've heard something on the news if we didn't.

- Let me help you. - No, Dad.

- I'm taking the light one. - All right, yeah.

I'm dying for you to see the tree.

Babe, why don't we just...

You got something for your folks, right?

- Yeah. - So let's just

figure out something we need for the apartment...

- No. No! - ...get it online.

- That's not romantic. - I don't even know what you want.

You don't tell me. What do you want?

I want a baby.

A what?

I want a baby for Christmas.

Jennie?

Yeah?

Are you serious?

Yeah.

I thought we didn't want a baby.

I know, but I do, now.

Now, I do.

- Jen. - I just...

I know it sounds weird, but I keep seeing

these beautiful little badass girls

that look right at me. Like, "What are you doing?"

"Who are you gonna share your whatever with?

"Your... your anything?"

We're pushing 40, what if we just...

for one year, got out of the way, to see if it was meant to be.

Just one year?

I'm not going back there.

Hey, Jennifer Munroe.

Listen, I'm doing what you asked, I'm giving you space

for him to step up.

But I swear to God, if he doesn't,

in a big fucking way real, real soon,

I will, I don't know, maybe I'll cash out my IRA

and put a hit out on him.

That would be a great use of my money.

You know I'm kidding, right?

I kid, because I love.

I'm sort of kidding, but seriously,

just say the word, and I am there.

Okay? I love you.

He was all proud like,

and he says, "What do you think, Stan?"

And I say, "Are you fucking kidding me?

"4.5 mil for that piece of shit? You're an idiot!"

I couldn't help myself. I said it right to his face.

Uh, mint?

No? Okay.

Anyhoo, back to youse two.

So, wow!

Wow.

Well, based on my, what, 50 minutes with you,

my overall quick analysis is that,

this marriage is on thin ice.

But, it can be saved.

I mean, this one.

Desperate, controlling, terrified.

Not a good sign.

And this one. Silent, brooding, secretive.

Also not good.

Kids. We got our work cut out for us.

So, when's the baby due?

I am not going back there.

Yeah?

You would go back to him?

They call?

Is it bad?

Hi, Jennie, this is April,

the genetic counselor from Dr. Bennett's office.

The lab did confirm the presence of an extra chromosome 18

in all the cells that they looked at.

So, your next step would be to contact your OB-GYN

since the pregnancy isn't viable.

I hope we see you again

and are able to give you good news.

If you guys wanna, wanna try again or...

All right, take care. Bye.

Fuck.

You want to wear cowboy boots with a skirt?

- Yeah. - That's not a goal.

- Yes, it is. - No, it's not.

- It is. It's a goal. - It is not a goal.

- You already do that. - No, not with a skirt.

I wear 'em with pants, not a skirt. It's different.

That is totally hot. You can cross that off tonight.

It's an easy one.

- My turn. - Okay.

All right.

You want to make...

- a limbo... - Living.

Living. You want to make a living... on a boat?

- If I could. - You could totally do that.

I don't know how much money's in it,

- but if I could, I would. - You totally could do that.

- All right, you go. - Okay.

Okay.

Thailand.

Thailand.

Yeah. Would you write that down, please.

- Thailand? - Yeah. Thailand.

- What about it? - I'm going.

- When? - Someday.

- How? - It's a goal.

- You're terrified to fly over an ocean. - I know.

- I know. - So when did this...

- I... - I've never...

Miss Tucker, my third grade teacher.

She had this shiny gold Buddha on her desk

that I was obsessed with.

And then, finally, she gave it to me on the last day before summer.

She told me about her travels to Thailand.

She was amazing. She...

She was was tough.

She was was tough. She wore slacks.

She traveled on her own. She was an adventurer.

I want to do that.

Do you still have it?

- What? - The Buddha.

I think I do. I think it's at my parents.

- That's cool. - Yeah.

I'm gonna write it down.

Jennie...

...is gonna fly...

...over an ocean...

...to Thailand.

Yep.

It's official.

David.

David.

What?

Did you dance with her?

At the place? Did you dance?

What, Jennie?

Did you dance together?

Yes.

You did?

Was it a slow song?

Yes.

Do you remember the song?

No.

It was slow though?

Now, you've been turning down auditions?

Uh, yeah.

Why?

Well, not the day player stuff.

The small, the out-of-town gigs... the out-of-town theater jobs.

- Yes. - Why?

Well, I don't think that us being apart is a really good idea.

I think that David and I

need to be in the same place, and not miles apart for months

while our marriage is barely hanging on.

I see, so you don't want him to go either.

Uh, do you not want him to even try and get work in Florida this winter?

I don't know, I...

No, I think we need to be in the same city for a while.

So you want to play the martyr

and give up what you love...

- Martyr? - ...and asked him to put his life on hold?

You know, this all seems very "Gift of the Magi" to me.

You know that story, David.

Are you familiar with that?

No.

Oh.

I am so sorry. Let me just...

Shit. Hold on.

What? I'm in a session.

Okay, stop, stop. I'll talk to you later.

I am so sorry.

Um...

Okay, so you think it would be a good idea

to do this boat delivery with David? Fine.

Fine. Your job/homework is to not talk too much

and have as much sex as possible.

Uh...

We can leave it there. We can... We can leave it there.

Okay, love, I'm gonna stop you.

This woman...

If you can even imagine it.

This woman, the life she thought she knew, it's gone.

Everyone thought they were the perfect couple.

Everyone, including her.

Now, she's been side-swiped.

She's doing everything she can to keep her shit together

because this woman's...

she's...

she's a hard fucking role. Right, May?

Even within this one speech, she goes from a woman

standing in her living room with her heart in a million bloody pieces,

and by speaking her truth, she...

by the end, she realizes that, yes, her heart has been shattered.

But it's...

there's all this surface area around it.

And even though her breath gets caught on the jagged corners,

it's actually gotten to be bigger now.

In pieces, thank you very much.

Yes, she...

she's afraid to leave, but she's more terrified to sit still.

If she sits still, she'll go under.

She has to move forward.

Neutral is not good.

Being a victim, it's not good.

She must find the next right thing.

She must, or the fear and the hurt will swallow her.

Okay?

Take that in for a second.

Take it in, and let's give it another go.

All right?

Yeah.

Why don't we go from...

"What could I have done differently?"

What could I have done differently?

Was I so fucking naive to think that we were happy?

You let me think we were happy.

Hello?

Uh, I just...

I told Jennie I probably wouldn't say anything today,

but I...

I am so grateful for all of you.

And you, Jennifer Lonergan.

Munroe! Jennie Munroe.

Thank you.

For all this.

But today was...

Today's perfect.

Thank you.

For loving me

in the beautiful way you do.

I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy.

Supporting you.

I can't believe we get to do this life thing together.

I love her.

Beautiful, beautiful.

There she is.

You had us scared, sweetheart.

You didn't want to come back.

You're gonna be okay. We'll take good care of you.

You and your husband can try again, right away, okay?

Is that her?

- What? - Is that her?

Yep.

Have you been speaking to her?

- No. - You haven't?

No, baby.

It's probably why she's texting.

She's... It's the weekend. She knows we're together.

She's trying to stir shit up.

- What does it say? - I...

"It isn't fair."

I'll just delete it.

Does she know that we lost the baby?

I don't know. I haven't spoken to her since that day.

Just ignore it. Please.

Just... put it on silent.

What are you doing?

Jen, what are you doing?

- Calling her. - No, don't do that.

Don't do that.

Jen, put that down.

She's crazy. She's just gonna make shit up.

- Don't do this. Come on. - This isn't David.

I believe my husband told you over a month ago

that I knew about you

and that you were to stop contacting him.

I know you don't respect me, or clearly yourself,

but I ask that you please respect the fact

that we have been married for 15 years.

Do not contact my husband ever again.

So you're okay with that, David?

That, what?

Well, that she hijacked your phone

and bitched that girl out?

Uh, I don't know.

You've lost weight, haven't you?

Uh, yeah. Probably.

I mean, losing the baby. So...

You absolutely have lost weight.

You don't wanna lose too much more, because

it's an unfortunate look

for a woman of a certain age.

Hm.

So it sounds like you two are looking for a counselor

that you both feel comfortable with, and you're having trouble finding a match.

Is that right?

Who wants to start?

Uh, well, we were just now on our way here.

We're getting off the subway and we're heading towards the stairs and this

gorgeous woman just starts... starts heading towards us.

She's gorgeous from the stairs.

I'm very aware of her. She's... I've always been able to think that

other women were beautiful or whatever.

I could see them for what they were.

They're beautiful, but they're separate from me.

But now, all of a sudden, every single woman that I see who is even remotely attractive

is a threat.

Somehow taking away from my beauty like there's only so much to go around,

like how dare she just hog up all the, you know, the whatever, the whatever...

And so she's coming at me.

She's coming at me and I could feel myself getting smaller and angrier

the closer she gets. And as she passes with her perfect little long legs,

just passes by, as she does, I say to myself,

"Please see my beauty, David,

"please don't let her suck up all of my beauty."

And as she passes,

he turns his head.

He just turns his head, like, to look at her. He just goes...

like a fucking animal. He just...

I mean, who is this guy?

The guy that I've been beautiful to for 15 years is now suddenly overnight bored of me

and he can't help it.

I mean, who is that guy?

He gets one taste of other, and now he's like a fucking animal.

It's like that fish... like that... with the... with the...

or like a pit bull.

Like a fucking sweet little perfect pit bull

who has been nothing but loving its entire life,

and it accidentally gets a little bit of blood in its mouth,

and it just starts fucking attacking women,

and postmen or whatever the fuck walks by the house.

Yes...

I get it. I get it now.

I'm a subscriber to most of the important off-Broadway theaters.

And I saw you in the Pettibone play.

You are amazing.

The way you climbed up that wall, the play was "meh" but you were fantastic.

God, I feel bad. I should have said something,

but I thought I recognized your name,

and I had some time today, so I made the appointment.

But I'm getting ready to go to London on my annual theater crawl.

I can definitely be your therapist when I come back.

Depends on how much urgent care... both of you,

it depends on how much urgent care you think you need.

Hey, guys.

- Hey. - Hi, how're you doing?

Oh, you know, actually, I have a feeling that you're over there.

This is for a kiddie drink. This is like for moms.

Unless, I think... I think you might be over there?

- Oh. - Yeah.

Thank you.

Oh, that was so cute.

She thought we were all going after the same thing.

What do you think the breakdown for that spot is?

Uh... Provocative jewels?

Second wife proposal?

"Female twenties. Drop dead gorgeous. English not necessary."

- We don't need to hear her speak. - No.

"Male, handsome, but relatable. Late forties to early nineties."

May I?

- Yes. - Oh, yeah. Sure.

- Thank you. - Sure.

- You want your book? - Yeah.

- Here you go. - Thanks.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me. I think you're...

What?

I was just saying I think you're over there.

I have half a bagel in here if you want to take that edge off.

Oh, no, sweetie. I think you're over there. This is for a kids drink.

Oh, this is all so confusing.

- Thank you. - Yeah. Yes, it is. You're welcome.

- Okay. Marcie, are you ready? - Yep.

- Hey. - Hey.

- And Jennie? - Yes.

Are you sure you're here for me?

I think so. 3:40.

I don't see you here.

Oh, um...

Oh, yeah. You're over there, hon.

Okay. Just assumed.

Hey, baby.

Yeah, I can see you. Can you see me?

I don't.

No.

I don't... I don't miss... Three months is nothing. I'm not gonna miss you at all.

No.

I won't.

Okay.

I love you, too.

Okay.

Okay.

Bye, baby.

Be safe.

Okay. Okay.

What is your favorite memory of us?

What?

What is... I was...

just remembering when you... when you turned the boat around

and you didn't want to go south because you didn't want to be away from me for that long.

- Do you remember that? - Yeah.

I think...

Maybe we should focus on...

On those memories, the good ones when we were happy...

I turned back on that trip...

back to you...

because I knew if I kept going, I wouldn't come back.

You need to move out...

Today. You need to move out.

- Munroe? - Yes.

Why don't you have a seat? Nathan will be with you.

That's smart.

The little area to distract the kids while Mom and Dad decide who gets the house.

Munroe, right?

Yes.

That would be funny if you weren't.

Like if you came out here to make out a will,

and I handed you separation papers.

And then you'd be like, "Whoa, whoa, honey, honey, what the f is going on here?"

So, um, I told Jennie this over the phone

when we made the appointment, I should let you know as well.

Um, we are not attorneys.

We cannot give you legal advice.

Um... Legal... So... Advice.

What we can provide you with is self-help legal document preparation services

at your specific direction.

Okay?

Great. So Jennie told me just a few things over the phone.

Just need to confirm 'em real quick.

Um... So, no kids, correct?

- No. - Yes.

- Yes. - Yes. No kids.

Okay. And no property?

Okay, well...

that makes our lives a lot easier.

Paperwork wise.

I'm gonna need you guys to just read everything in here

and add any and all bank accounts, including car payments,

- student loans, the whole... - The boat.

Boat.

The "boat"?

Dead serious. You have a boat?

Toot-toot, my man. You got to take me out there, bro.

Got to.

- Hey, doll. - Hi.

- Sign in for me. - Okay.

How have you been?

I... I've been good. Good.

- You have the same insurance? - Yeah.

Okay.

Your teeth... beautiful. Okay.

Rinse.

So...

how is that dreamy, lumberjack looking husband of yours?

Spit.

Those eyes.

You have children, no?

No.

No?

His eyes, your teeth...

- beautiful. - Ah.

Yeah, well, we're...

Hey, ahoy there, first mate!

Oh, hi.

So how's the captain doing? You two going to Florida this year?

Uh... No...

Actually, we're separated.

- Well, that's too bad. - Yeah.

Too bad, Doctor.

Well, shit. I don't know what to say. I really don't know.

That's okay.

Okay, you guys have kids?

- No. - Makes it easier.

Oh, I don't know.

What do you mean, Olga? What are you talking about?

- Too bad no kids. - But she'll be okay, Olga. She'll be okay.

- Well, she may be okay. - It's all right. You go on.

But the unborn children. What about them?

You go on.

And you, um...

- You'll be sure to rinse real good. Okay? - Okay.

Yeah.

There's nothing you can do to patch it up a little bit, maybe?

Mm-mm.

Am I done?

- Yeah, yeah, is finished. - Okay.

Did he cheat?

- Sorry. - It happened to me.

I come home from work one day,

and there's a 350-pound woman

in a negligee cooking a pot roast in my kitchen.

I shit you not.

She said, "Who are you?"

I said, "Who am I? This is my apartment.

"My fucking stretched to shit negligee..." Excuse my French.

"And a pot roast I've been saving for my nephew's confirmation.

"Who am I?"

I walked out of there in a daze like someone punched me in the face.

Okay.

I know. I know, I know. I ended up kicking him out after ten years of marriage.

350 pounds, Jennie, I shit you not.

That's when I stopped wearing Spanx.

You're gonna be okay.

Here. Mm-hm.

And you look very thin.

- So that's good. - Trauma trim.

- That's what they call it. - Yeah.

- And I'm out! - All right.

C'mon. Look at this bountiful haul.

- Yeah, I brought a lot of stuff. - Yeah.

- Okay. - And all of it, it's kinda...

it's sort of pre-divorce stuff. So, um... anyway...

It's very good quality, but it's a little too "classy lady". Right?

- No, it's cute. - And, uh...

As you can see, I'm kind of a little bit of a good time gal.

- Yeah. - That's hot.

Good time gal. Good time... Yes!

- Easy, cheesy. It's okay. - It's beautiful.

- It actually goes with this dress. - Oh, no, I saw it.

I brought a lot of stuff.

Everybody just go on, take it all. I don't want any of it.

Just everyone sorta pick a first and second choice, I guess,

and then if we have an overlap, we'll fight it out.

We'll figure that out. And also in terms of artwork and stuff, the pillows,

the little... that kind of stuff.

Basically, anything with a sailboat nautical motif is out.

So, go nuts.

- Okay. - I think I've got it.

Is this real, too?

- No. - Isn't that great?

- Lot of stuff. - And I also have these...

If anyone knows anyone.

Erin, say something, please. I can always count on you to...

A bucket of duckling farts? I don't know.

- You okay? - Yeah.

Wanna talk about it?

- Don't wanna talk about it? - I'm not sure.

I think... I'm just... This is... This was... This has been good.

- Thank you for having us over. - Yeah.

Oh, God. We have a man down.

We have a man down in a part of D.C.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're just so...

- You're admirable. - Well, I don't know about that.

You are.

Oh, I was a wreck. I couldn't get out of bed for, what was it? Three years.

Yeah, I had a... We had a heinous relationship. He was a...

- He was an a-hole. - Mm-hm.

- He was a heinous a-hole. - Yes, he was.

- He was a hein-hole. - He was... He was a hein-hole.

You guys are lucky, I think, personally.

What? You're still young.

My Uncle Pete, he just left my aunt after 55 years of marriage.

- You're fucking kidding me! - No, 55 years.

He's what, like a few birthdays away from needing her to wipe his ass

and he leaves her now.

- Hein-hole. - Hein-hole.

- Big, huge, hein-hole. - Huge.

When did you take your ring off?

Well, one night, I was actually headed out with friends and just as I was about to leave,

there was this cheesy song from like the '60s or the '70s about wedding rings.

And the song comes on. And I just was like, "Okay," you know, and I took it off,

put it in the top drawer of my dresser, and then that was that.

I mean, there was no tears. It was just like, "Hm".

I just... I can't take mine off yet for some reason, I don't...

Don't rush it. You'll know. I've got an amazing therapist if you need one, he's...

- amazing. - Well, I might... actually, I'm seeing a new one next week,

- so fingers crossed. - Yeah.

Kathryn, what the fuck?

Wine. Give her some wine.

No, I can't have any wine. I'm pregnant.

James and I are having a baby.

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

- That makes so much sense. You're going batshit crazy. - That's amazing.

Oh, my God, you're having a baby.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's so great. Come here. Kathryn.

Oh, my gosh. I'm so happy for you.

Babe?

What about the baby? You lost the pregnancy, correct?

- Yes. - Sorry.

How are you feeling about that?

I feel like she's out there

and she's mine.

But it's... I think that's one of the things that's been hard about

letting go is that it's... not just a loss. It's like I know she's out there,

but she's not with me.

- Is that... - Totally, totally.

It's like, my heart hasn't been updated to the fact that she's not here

and then if she's not here, then why do I feel like I have to find her?

Do you know that the baby was a girl?

- No. They asked me if I wanted to know. But... - Of course, of course.

Well, I wouldn't judge this feeling that you're having.

It could mean many things.

Is it possible that you feel like you're looking for a version of your younger self?

- Your inner child? - Yeah, that's...

Yeah, that's interesting. I haven't thought about it that way.

Is it possible that because you have an aching in your heart

for a child that you're seeking her out?

I mean, we see what we want to see

or need to see to justify what our heart has already decided it wants.

Yeah. Yeah, that's...

Or is it possible...

that your lost embryo spirit

is circling the planet for a hundred years,

sending waves of emotional correspondence,

searching for the perfect celestial match.

- Um... - I know, I know.

It's intense when you find the person who will heal you,

and release you of all of your pain.

We should hear back in 7 to 10 business days,

- but if you have any questions, feel free to give us a call. - Thank you.

Hi.

Today has been...

- Give me a second. - Yeah.

Here we go. Mm-hm.

"Plaintiff against defendant."

Wow, okay.

There is no way we are letting you go through this alone, gorgeous.

I whipped up a kick ass divorce mix playlist for you.

- And I was in charge of the booze. - That's right.

- It's always the man's fault. Always. - Mm-hm.

You must see a lot of shit.

Oh, my God, I do. Hm. But here's the thing...

you, Jennie, you, right?

I don't know you, but you ooze life, mama.

Yes, you are beautiful. You're a beautiful soul.

You are... You are beautiful.

You are gonna have men eating out your ass.

- Oh, my God. - Yes.

Hey, hand. Maybe eating out of her hand?

Jennie! Jennie!

Yeah! Oh, yeah.

This...

This was... The best... The best divorce I've ever been a part of.

- Yeah! - Yes.

- Wow! - Yeah...

Yeah. Forgive me. I think you're the fifth or sixth therapist that I've seen.

So, I've told this, like, a million times. That's... Which is probably good.

There's at least some distance now, which is just good.

I could breathe a little bit now.

- Well, that's good. Breathing is good. - Yeah. Yeah.

Marissa said that you were great, but she also said that

it took her three years to get out of bed. So I was like "Well, how great can he be?"

Well, in my defense, I didn't meet Marissa until the day she got out of bed.

Oh, then shit.

- You're good. - Thank you.

- So you really saw five or six therapists? - Yeah.

My husband used to be an actor. I know, it's absolutely brutal.

Did you go in for therapy for yourself before that

- or it was only couples therapy? - Well, that was it.

Yeah, couples. But I... I think I want that. I know, I want that for myself.

Now, I want that.

Good. Well, I hope there will be room for me in your growth.

And, I hope that this will always be a place where you can feel free to be yourself

and take care of yourself and ultimately feel a little less burdened and a little lighter.

Thank you.

If there's one thing that you could hear me say to you now, before you leave,

what would it be?

Um. Well, what you just said was pretty great.

I must say, um, uh, I guess...

just that I'll...

that I'll be okay. That I'll be able to someday just look back on all this and...

and just... I'll be okay.

I promise you, you will be okay.

Thank you.

You could sit anywhere, hon.

- Hey, sunshine. - Thank you.

- Would you like some coffee? - Yes, please.

You guys, you have the sausage patties, right?

I could do the patties. Not the links.

Oh, good, good, good. That's what I thought. Nobody has patties anymore. It's weird.

- I'll do the two eggs scrambled. Sausage patties. - Mm-hm.

- And instead of the home fries, can I have French fries? - Let me see. It's kinda early.

Hey, Marcella, can we do French fries?

For that one? Yeah. I'll get right on it.

- Sucker for pretty girls, that one. - Thank you.

- White, wheat, rye or bagel? - Rye, please.

Okay. Excellent. I will be right back with your order, love.

You. Stop messing with my customers.

- Here you go. - Thank you.

Are you okay?

Oh. Uh, yeah.

Actually, I just took my wedding ring off.

Mm-hmm.

What are you even doing over there?

Can you get back to work, back to the fryer?

- Back to the... - Oh, my God.

Trouble with this one.

- You gotta put yourself out there. - No, I don't.

The first few are gonna be miserable. They just are.

But you don't wanna wait until you meet your dream man

to go on your first date.

No, you gotta work out the kinks.

- I... - Here's a little tip.

A little challenge, if you will, and it totally works.

It's called 333.

So you walk into a party or a bar, what have you,

and you just casually scan the room, scope it out.

And if you see somebody who you like, looks up,

you think they're cute.

You look at them and you lock eyes with them

for three seconds, and then you hold it.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi,

three Mississippis, and then you look away.

You made it totally apparent that you were attracted to them, right?

Oh, no! Maybe not.

So you have to do this quick little glance back, like this...

But you gotta be subtle with that glance back.

Listen to me,

because if you hold it for, like, three entire seconds,

it's just gonna be creepy.

So it just wants to be like a little,

"Yep, mister, that's exactly what you think it is, hmm,"

and then you're out. That's it.

Yes, it's just like an invitation

for the guy to come up and talk to you.

But you have to do the glance back

because that's the invitation.

- No, that's awful. - Yes, I'm telling you,

it totally works for my gay dude friends.

It totally works.

I haven't tried it yet, of course.

- I'm too chicken. - Erin...

- I am! - Don't tell me to do something

- that you can't do. - Yes, I can. I totally can.

Besides, I don't need no 333.

I already got my signature go-to moves at a party.

I like to be that girl

with her arms crossed in front of her chest

and her back facing every attractive,

available heterosexual man

just daring them to break through this caustic,

- go-fuck-yourself exterior. - You're not like that.

But my true, true soulmate will see through all this

and say, "See that mean girl over there ignoring me?

"There's something about her. I can't get enough of her.

"Oh, yes, we shall be married in the spring."

What's the other three?

"The other three" what?

You said 333.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You have to do it

three times a day to practice.

- No. - Let's try it now.

- No, no. - Yes, yes, yes.

I still have a dent where my ring used to be.

Girl, we're gonna do it with this guy right now.

- Right, you do it. - We'll go it together. Ready?

One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.

Three Mississippi.

Okay, it's time for the glance back.

We'll do it together.

If this goes according to plan,

he should be standing stock still, waiting for us.

Ready? One, two, three. Glance back.

Oh, okay.

So he's not buying what we're selling,

but that's okay.

- Doesn't matter. - The dog glanced back.

The dog did something.

Jennie, uh, check your email.

You have an appointment Friday for a new play.

It's called To Have and to Hold.

British import, won a whole bunch of shit.

Nigel Hopkins is directing.

I think you're really gonna love this play.

Uh, it seems like a really great fit for you.

So call me if you have questions.

I am... I'm around. Okay, bye.

- Hey. - Hey.

Welcome to the Pleasure Chest.

- Let me know if there's anything I can get you. - Thank you.

- Hi. - Hi.

This whole area is my specialty.

Oh, okay.

- Questions? - Um...

Actually, yes. Yes, I do, um...

The girls are having a bachelorette party,

and I was...

They nominated me to pick up the, um...

It's for you. It's okay.

No, it's... It's for a friend who's getting married.

- Ah-ha! - And they...

They picked me to be the one to...

I though it'd be more obvious. I can't remember the name of it.

- I think, it's, uh... - Uh...

- Uh... - What?

Um, it's part of a collection...

Symphony collection?

Maybe.

Okay, the...

Saxophone.

The... ah!

Piccolo or...

The...

Maestro.

- No. - No?

- Nope. - None of these. Okay.

Poker collection.

The, ah...

Inside Straight.

The...

Royal Flush.

The, ah...

All In.

Yeah, that's, um...

That's a lot. That's, um...

Too much?

- Just not so aggressive. - Non-aggressive?

Yeah.

The Bumble Bug.

- Oh, see? - Bumble Bug.

- Yes, that's, uh... - Yeah.

- Yeah, you're gonna love... - Sort of...

- ...the bug. - Oh, it's not for me.

Anything else?

You want a penis candy bar

for your bachelorette party of one?

No, thank you.

You know, you can connect this to your smartphone.

Oh, God, I don't need...

No, no, no, it's good. It's an app.

Yeah, I don't need an app.

You're gonna love this thing.

I don't leave the house without it.

Exactly.

Yeah, one time I had this flight to Amsterdam.

It was with my parents, and this thing saved me.

So you just multitasked?

- Yeah. - We could be...

We could be vacuuming and shit.

My, uh... My friend might be back

for the, uh, for the All In.

- Good! - When she's ready.

That's a big step.

Yes, she's just not ready yet for that.

- Great. - She's just in a Bumble Bug kind of a place.

Great. Have fun.

I will... She will.

- She will. She will. - She will!

Thank you, ladies.

Have a great day!

You too!

If James has the baby for more than two or three hours,

first of all, the baby won't eat because I'm the source of...

Oh, no...

Hey!

You guys stop for a second. Stop for a second.

I need to look up directions for...

What are you talking about? We know exactly where we are.

Ooh, he just turned and looked at her.

- What do I do now? - Did you do the glance back?

- Did you do the glance back? - No.

Just easy breezy...

- Here I go. - Don't look.

I love you, too.

Ooh, "love you, too."

Oh, that did not go good.

- That felt not good. - That was a good try.

Um...

- Hi. - Hi.

Ta-da! Sorry.

It's weird, I, um...

I just chased your friend down the street, and I...

- That's weird. - Nice. You know what?

We're gonna meet you on the subway platform.

333. I'm out! Bye!

- We'll see you on the sub. Careful. - Bye!

Um, I just...

I wanted to say that, um,

I was talking to my son on the phone,

and I thought maybe you overheard and misunderstood.

I don't know how to do this.

I was married for 15 years and just got divorced.

Oh, I just got divorced, too.

Shit. I'm sorry.

- I... Yeah. - You too.

- Sorry. - Thanks.

Uh, I'm just here selling my parents' place.

I live... I'm flying back to Chicago.

- Oh, okay. - Um...

I have to come back in like a month for closing

and hand off keys.

So I'd love to take you out to dinner or...

Yeah, I would... I would love that.

I would like that too. So...

Um, what's your name?

- I'm Jennie. - Okay.

No, no, no, honey, I'm fine.

I don't need anything emotionally.

I can just take care of myself with eating...

...and drinking.

I'm doing great. I'm so happy. I'm so happy to have you here.

You know, we didn't even...

We hardly fought at all or anything.

She's a wonderful person.

Just it's...

It's just... It's so strange being...

with someone for so many years and...

and still being so lonely.

You guys lonely?

Honestly?

No.

- No. - I wasn't.

Hmm.

It's kind of shitty about the whole thing. I was...

I was fine. I was content.

- Yeah, but that's just not enough. - No.

You can't go through life just being content.

Apparently not.

It's not possible to be happy all the time.

You can't spend 60 years with the same person

- in a constant state of euphoria. - Yes!

- No, it's crazy! - Yes, you totally can. No, it's not.

This. Right now, this is amazing.

I mean, I haven't felt this in years,

and everything that you say is...

is amazing and profound and funny.

You know what? I feel amazing and profound.

We're not. We're not that funny.

- We're not that amazing. It's, uh... - What?

This will all wear off. It will.

The second we sleep together, if we sleep together,

the tingles go down immediately. Like at least 50%

50%? Are you that bad in bed?

Shut up. No, it's like... Come on.

This is... This is incredible, but it can't last.

This is shiny and new.

- It wears off and then what? - That is asinine.

Did you just say "asinine"? I love that word. Asinine.

See? Peculiar. Funny. Profound. Amazing. All of it.

Especially peculiar, but nevermind.

This is so strange. I really thought that, uh,

saying goodbye to this empty house

with my parents gone was gonna be so depressing.

But instead, it's, um...

Thank you for coming over.

Thank you for sharing this.

- Goodbye, house. - Goodbye.

Hm.

Come on.

Ta-da!

This was my childhood bedroom.

Wow. Mine and Robby's.

Uh, this was Robby's side of the room.

Mine was over there, and, uh, bed was here.

My little desk was over there.

And, um...

We had track lighting, terrible track lighting,

but we would adjust the spotlights

and make like a dance floor

and Robby did, uh, this techno music

that we would... I'm about to blow your mind.

All right.

Oops.

Oh, I'm sorry. I just, uh... I just read that.

Yep, all right. Okay, let's see your moves.

- Try out the dance floor. - Okay.

'Cause obviously, I'm a professional so...

Uh, was that your wife?

Yeah. Um, yeah, but we're separated.

It's just... It's more complicated with kids.

You said you were divorced.

Well, we're not divorced yet.

She's fighting it, and I asked for a few months

just to get my shit cleared up.

- 'Cause selling this place has... - Uh, I'm...

I'm not interested in being this.

- No. - Jennie, Jennie. Jennie, uh...

Okay, I... Please, um...

I'm sorry, I... If I misled you or...

I feel kind of lost here, um...

But nothing happened, and we...

Nothing happened. You just made me laugh and...

bought cannolis for me

and told me stories about your kids,

and where you did homework as a little boy.

Give her this opportunity, Clark.

Tell her she's funny and amazing and see what happens.

- She will light up. I guarantee it. - No.

- I guarantee it. - No, she won't. Jennie, she won't.

I've tried. And laughs,

I don't remember the last time that we laughed together.

I was thinking on my flight here,

I don't know if I can do this.

I'm 44 years old, and I have no idea who the fuck I am.

- Tell her, Clark. - I have tried.

Tell her, not me. Tell her.

- Jennie... - And if she changes the subject

and acts like she didn't hear you,

you just grab her face and you say, "I am lost.

"I am not happy. I don't know who the fuck I am."

- Jennie... - Tell her, Clark.

Make her hear you.

You let me think we were happy

until the end and secretly you moved on.

So sorry. I feel like I'm wasting your time.

This is...

I hear what you're saying and I can't seem to...

I'm so sorry.

- How'd it go? - Uh, not good.

Remember the little gold Buddha that Miss Tucker gave me?

Buddha, is that what you're looking for?

I wish I were the kind of person who could go.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just go to Thailand.

I wish I were that kind of person.

And then I thought,

"Well, what if I were that kind of person?"

What if I were the kind of person

who could just type Bangkok, one passenger,

hit "buy" without thinking or asking your parents?

What if I were that kind of person

who could just travel on my own?

What if I were that kind of fearless person?

You are a fearless person.

Are you kidding, Dad? Did you?

I'm terrified.

I have always been terrified.

When have you ever been scared?

You've never seemed scared to me.

You are one of the strongest women I have ever known.

You don't think of me as a scared person.

No, no. My God.

What kind of scared person decides at 15 years old

that she wants to be an actress?

It's one of the scariest careers on the planet,

and you chose to do it in New York City, Jen.

Scared people don't live there.

Scared people don't dream big dreams.

Scared people have Plan Bs and Cs and Ds.

- You didn't. - Well, I should have.

I should... I should have thought at 15,

"Okay, well, what if I'm 40 years old

"and the thought of having a couple of great kids

"and having a husband who adores me

"and running home to make them dinner between shows

"is nowhere in sight."

Please. Please.

Your dad's still downstairs looking for it.

Hmm.

I would do anything in this world

if I could take your pain away.

I would absorb every bit of it if I could.

But what I'm realizing right now

is that in our attempts to protect you,

I think we've robbed you in a way

of you finding your own strength,

your own sense of self.

And I am just so, so sorry if we've done that.

Mom, you and Dad were...

You did nothing wrong.

If anything, you were...

You were so perfect.

I feel so stupid.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Well...

I want to tell you something about your dad and I.

Oh, God, no, Mom, no. I can't. I can't.

- If you tell me Dad cheated or something. - Oh, no, honey. Never.

Oh, no, no, no. Your dad is the best.

He's the best.

It's not about that.

If I could go back, I would do it all again.

Exactly the same.

But there is this small part of me that wonders

who we would be if we weren't we.

You sort of decide who you are as a team

and if it works, you don't change it.

I look at you as your mom, and I think...

you have this opportunity to be whoever you wanna be.

Oh! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

The thing is...

I always thought I was a weak person.

But it's not that.

I guess I'm realizing now that it's more that, I just,

I wasn't sure that I was a strong person underneath.

I didn't trust that if the shit ever hit the fan

that I wouldn't just crumble. But you know what

is so fucking great...

the more that you hurt me,

the more that you just push down on me,

the more this other thing pushes up.

It's like this solid pushback that's like,

"No, no, you are not gonna hold me under."

And the stronger the push, the stronger the pushback.

I don't... I don't know how long it's been there,

probably forever, but I never really needed it until now.

But it's... it's this...

This thing that's allowing me to somehow be okay

with standing here in front of you,

telling you that unless you fight for me now,

I'm walking away.

I'm not gonna be this woman who just will take scraps.

I won't sit around and wait for you to love me again.

Delaney... JENNIE: Alex, stop... with the lies.

There are so many things I would love to hear you say,

but if they're not true, please...

Please don't say it.

- You were incredible. - Oh...

- Thank you. - Amazing, really.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Thank you for the flowers. - Oh, of course.

That was...

You were so great, babe.

Jennie. You were so great.

Thank you.

I didn't... I didn't know you were in town.

You're doing, uh, a delivery?

Yeah, just a quick one. Brought one up from Virginia.

The Bimini Cricket.

"The Bimini Cricket"? That's the name of the...

That's asinine.

- You've been busy and... - Uh, a little bit.

Mostly rigging work.

A few deliveries here and there, but...

That's good.

This is...

Yeah. Yeah, this has been...

Uh, it's wrapping up on Sunday, but it's... it's, uh...

Oh, you're closing?

Uh, they're extending again. It's been...

But I'm... I decided to leave. I'm leaving.

It's a lot. It's a year of pushing on bruises, so...

- A year? - Yeah, it was last October that, um...

Oh, that's right.

Seeing you again, it's...

It's weird. It's not...

It's not what I imagined.

Yeah. Me either.

I keep wanting to grab your hand, which is weird but...

Hey, Jennie, we're ready for you.

I'll be...

No rush. Take your time.

They're throwing a little going away thing between shows, so...

Oh, I'm sorry. If you need to...

No, no, no, no, no. This is...

I've... This was good.

You look so beautiful.

Thank you.

Whisky and cornflakes.

Jen...

I don't know why I told you that.

That night.

That I wouldn't have come back on the boat.

I don't know what the truth is anymore.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is a final boarding call for BA Flight 7210 to Dubai

with continuing service to Bangkok.

Please make your way to Gate Seventeen...

My gosh! Oh, my gosh.

Holy cow!

I'm dangling very far. Holy moly!

Uh-oh, I think he's looking back like he wants to dip me.

Dear God.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, crap!

All right, guys, what are you doing?

You can't do this for long.

I have no feeling in my legs.

Oh, God.

All right.

All right, slow, dude.

Seems like a little Water World.

Awfully small.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, nice!

- I'll take this off now. - Okay.

Uh-huh.

Oh, wow.

That was the scariest thing

I've ever done.

Whoo!

Holy moly!

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull