All language subtitles for Art.Ache.2015.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

( chewing )

♪ Soon we'll be dead
and gone ♪

♪ Life's brief
even when it's long ♪

♪ We've been going wrong ♪

♪ In our gilded cage ♪

♪ While life's
great adventure waits ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Let's take
the long way home ♪

♪ 'Cause life's not
worth living ♪

♪ Without love ♪

♪ Let's take
the long way home ♪

♪ Stop for a minute
to catch up ♪

♪ We'll lose hope
if we let it ♪

♪ You easily forget it ♪

♪ Life when
we're looking back ♪

♪ Will be gauged
by good times we had ♪

♪ Not the chains we dragged ♪

♪ Carpe diem, we ♪

♪ Should go
make some memories ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Let's take
the long way home ♪

♪ 'Cause life's
not worth living ♪

♪ Without love ♪

♪ Let's take
the long way home ♪

♪ Stop for a minute
to catch up ♪

Morning.

When she woke up, I think
she was just a bit surprised

by the size, eh?

Yeah, I bet, mate.

Hi, Sean.

So you see the game
last night?

Actually, I just started doing
some of those Zumba classes.

Really?

No, man.

Of course I saw
the bloody game.

Morning, Squid.
Did you have a good weekend?

Oh, wow.

She the one you met last
weekend?

- Unh-unh, new one.
- Nice.

Oh, come on.

- Sorry.
-Seriously.

How do you even-- ( groans )
I wish I could un-see that.

She sent that this morning.
That was just for me.

So what'd you tell
this one anyway?

What, were you Masumo Kursaro,
fashion photographer?

Nope, let me introduce you
to Zoltan Tweed,

Hollywood film producer.

You're kidding.

Why do you even do that?

Why don't you just tell people
that you're an accountant?

- And be single like you? No.
- Come on, sometimes it works.

Alex, when was the last time
you got laid?

Exactly!

I'm not gonna end up like you.

All right, listen up.

I now need the consolidated
end-of-year accounts

by close of play today.

Um, sorry, Sean?
Today?

Yes, yes,
so if you could take your head

from your ass and do your work,
I would be very appreciative.

Thank you.

Today.

( Big Ben tolling )

Well, that was
a laugh a minute.

Let's go grab a drink.

Sure. Do you want to go
to the pub on the corner?

Nah, I'm meant to meet
my girlfriend

at a gallery opening tonight.

Why don't we grab
a drink there?

Oh, no, no,
I don't know, mate.

I mean, I don't really like
modern art too much.

Nobody does,
but it's not about art.

It's a gallery opening.
Come on.

- I don't know, I mean--
- Come on, she's gonna bring
a friend.

Supposed to be really cute.

Okay,
just a cheeky one then.

Yes!

Thing is, we can't go
dressed looking like that.

What do you mean?
Why not?

We look like
accountants, mate. Come on.

But... we--
weareaccountants.

There's nothing wrong with that.
Is there?

What are you doing?
No, no. Undo that.

Oh, you're not gonna wear those
in there, are you?

- Kinda need them to see.
- No, no, no.

Another fix...

Yeah.
Come on.

Untitled 1!

Untitled 2!

I hate contemporary art.
Can't we just go to a pub?

Zoltan! Whoo!

- Hi, babe.
- Hi.

Alex, please meet
my girlfriend Shaney.

Cheyenne.

Uh-huh, and this is?

Barbara.
But you can call me Barbie.

( both giggle )

Alex.

Alex. Oh...

Babe,
have you been shopping?

Oh, yeah,
it's a surprise, babe.

For me?

Maybe. Baby.

( both squeal )

So, Alex...

who is Alex?

Well, um, Alex is, um...

an accountant.

Yes.

He's the money man
in my production company.

You know, the financier?
The man with the millions.

Awesome.
Well, we're both actresses.

So what kind of project are
you working on at the moment?

Well, at the moment,
we're just in the middle

of our tax return.

For a big Hollywood production
we're developing.

Very big star, massive,
huge, ginormous, yeah.

- Who?
- Jennifer Lopez.

Lawrence.
He means Jennifer Lawrence.

- Jennifer Lawrence.
She's so good.
- Amazing.

Hey, Alex, why don't we go grab
ourselves a drink, shall we?

Let's.

Girls, we'll be right back
in one second.

- He's so nice.
- Oh, my God.

He so romantic.

Stop telling everyone you're
an accountant, yeah?

Pretend to be someone else,
someone cool.

- What do you think he's got me?
- Oh, definitely jewelry.

- Jewelry?
- Definitely jewelry.

You think a ring?

( both squeal )

Two glasses of white wine,
please.

- Sure.
- Actually, I'd rather
have a cranberry juice.

Come on, it's party time, dude!
Live a little.

Two glasses of white wine,
please.

Can I have a red wine?

- Two white wines?
- Yes, please.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Where's your accent from,
love?

- I'm from Slovenia.
- This is nasty.

Can I ask you something?
Are you an actress?

An actress? No.

Why do you ask?

Because you look like
an actress.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Let me introduce myself.

Zoltan, Zoltan Tweed,
producer.

Oh, wow.
Thank you.

Thank you very much,
Mr. Tweed.

Are you also in the movies?

Yeah, I'm Jennifer Lawrence.

Yeah, actually, we have
champagne for VIP guests.

Can I maybe offer you
a glass, Mr. Tweed?

Sure, that would be delightful.
Thank you.

You're embarrassing me, yeah?
Stop acting like a dork.

Dude!

Dude, come on.

All right, love.

- ( French accent) Hi.
- Hi.

H-hi.

Do you like it?

It's an installation
I did in Thailand.

You did that?

I mean, you're the artist?

Yes.

I mean, it's actually, um--
( clears throat )

It's actually quite--
it's actually quite cool.

What's the story?
I mean, what's it about?

Well, actually, it's part
of a series of installations

called "the Stingray
Project,"

and it merges images
with water to explore

the concept of perception.

What you mean
the concept of perception?

Well, when you look
at an artwork,

you're not very objective,
you know?

It depends on the context,
the presentation,

and your own background.

Actually, it's like a knife,
you know?

Everybody sees things
through their own prism.

- Yeah.
- And here, the water rep--

are you listening?

Me? Yeah, yeah.
Totally, of course.

Wow, cool, Thailand.
So is it nice there?

Yeah, I love the beaches.

- The beaches.
- Yes.

Right. Right.

Um, and, uh...

where's the accent from?

I'm French.

Okay, cool.
What brings you to London?

The EuroStar.

No, no, I mean,
why did you decide--

I'm kidding.

I love the art scene here,
you know?

I mean, look around.

The artist community
is really amazing.

- Yeah.
- What do you do yourself?

What do I do?

As in... for a job?

- Yeah.
- Professionally?

- Yes.
- For a living.

I, um...

- I--
- ( cork pops )

( squeals )

I'm an artist.

Oh, wow, cool.
So what do you do?

What do I--
I mean, I just told you.

I'm-- I'm an artist.

I mean, like, what kind?

Are you up painter
or conceptual or video art?

You know, a little bit of this,
little bit of that.

But, I mean, for me,
art isn't about the medium.

It's not about whether
you use a pen

or a paintbrush or a gun.

A gun?

Metaphorically.

But it's more about the soul,
you know, the mind,

not just the final product.

Actually, that's what Sol LeWitt
said about conceptual art.

Who?

Um, Sol LeWitt?
Sol LeWitt?

Oh, Sol LeWitt.

Yeah, of course, I know him.
Yeah.

Penelope, there's an investor
who wants the price list
in yen.

Can you do that immediately,
please?

- Of course, Mr. Kash.
- Good.

- Oh, and put it in dollars,
too, would you?
- Okay.

I'm sorry, I have to go.

I actually worked as an
assistant here at the gallery,

and Mister Kash
is my boss, so.

Have you heard
about the Kash Award?

- No, I don't think I have.
- Oh, it's really good.

It's an award
for up-and-coming artists.

You should join.
I'll get you a file.

No, don't worry, I'll--
I should be--

honestly I...

Here, it has
all the information on it.

The deadline
is in a couple of weeks,

but I'm sure you have some
works of art ready, no?

Some artwork ready, yeah.
No.

I'm really sorry, I have to go.
So it was nice meeting you.

Alex.

Oh, I'm Penelop-- oh.

Okay.

Um, so you are going to sign up
to the competition, Alex?

- Sure.
- Great.

- See you.
- Ciao.

Oh, great.

So this is where you've been!
How could you do that?!

No, mistake, mistake.

What do you think
you're doing?

She knows my sister,
and her sister knows--

( both shouting )

And you're just a waitress!

No. No! Babe!

Yeah, as long as you get that
to me, yeah?

All right, thanks, bye.

Come on, dude,
you've been boring all week.

I know,
Iamboring.

Look, I'm sorry I called you
a dickhead, yeah?

You didn't call me a dickhead.

Didn't I?
Tosser.

Loser.

Schoolboy, mama's boy,
little whiny bitch.

Shh.

Anyway, look, I'm sorry.

It's fine.

Are we cool?

All sins forgiven.

So...

What you got planned
for the weekend?

- Nothing.
- Nothing?

What about the girl
you met at the gallery?

She looked cute.

Please tell me
you're gonna see her again.

Why-- why not?

Because I told her
I'm an artist,

and I'm not an artist,
so what do you want me to do?

Go back there and say,
"Hi, remember me,

the guy you met
the other night?

Remember all that stuff
I said about myself?

It wasn't exactly true.
Fancy a drink?"

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi, you probably
don't remember me.

My name's Alex.

Okay.

Hi. Hi.

Hi, you probably don't
remember me.

My name's Alex.

Hi. Okay.

( voice breaks )
Hi-- hi.

Sorry to bother you.
You probably don't remember me.

- My name's--
- Alex. Hi.

You're the artist
from the other night.

- Funny you should say that--
- Look what I just bought.

It's a 1969 Mamiya 6x6.
Can you believe it?

- Yeah, I came too--
- I really want to try it now.

You come with me?
We can talk. Come.

Okay, come over here.
You'll be my model.

Yet, but, okay.

Okay.

Okay, turn your head
to the right.

- I really--
- To the right.

Okay, great.

So now take a pose
a bit like, you know,

Thomas Ruff's
portrait pictures.

( laughs )

Not Tim Parr.
Thomas Ruff.

Yeah, well, you know,
I don't really like

Thomas Ruff's style too much.

Which photographer do you like?

My favorite photographer?

Uh, well, you know,
there's so many good ones.

Yeah,
but your favorite favorite.

Well, you know,
there's that Swedish guy.

You know, Borg.

Borg. Borg.

Borg Borg Borg?

Yes, him, yeah.

No, I never heard about him.

Well, you know,
he's very underground.

But I don't think you should try
and copy other photographers.

I think you should
find your own style.

You're right, actually.

Okay, I take one from there.

( camera clicks )

Oh, hey, here, let me.

Let me check if I can get
over here.

Oh, my God, are you okay?

( sputters )

Are you okay?

Come, come, oh, my God.

Are you okay, Alex?
Come.

Come here, Alex, come here!
Come here!

( laughs )
Oh, my God.

Come on.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

I should go home.
I don't want to get a cold.

Why don't you take your clothes
off and dry them in the sun?

No, I have some clothes.
I have my gym clothes.

I go get them, okay?
I'm so sorry.

Wait, what size are they?

Don't even think about it.

( laughs )

You're mad at me?

You look funny
with your hair like that.

You remind me of someone
I used to love.

Someone you used to love?

How do you say in English,
you know, with the spikes?

Oh, um, a punk.

( laughs ) No, not a punk.
( speaks French )

What?

Uh...

hedgehog...

Oh, a hedgehog.

Yeah.

Great, I remind you
of a hedgehog.

Not just any hedgehog.
Marcel the hedgehog.

You mean like a, um--
like an alpha hedgehog?

No, he was more like
a beta hedgehog.

He wasn't brave at all,

but he was so cute.

He was my little Marcel
from the countryside.

I loved him so much.

And where's--
where's little Marcel now?

It's a sad story, actually.

- He tried to cross
the road once and...
- Oh, no.

the tractor came and...
( blows raspberry )

That's terrible.

Did you have a little
burial ceremony for Marcel?

My grandfather came in
with the shovel.

Oh, you mean a shovel.

No, the shovel to pick him up,

and then a big black crow
came and, whoosh.

Whoosh.

He's in the sky now.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean,
it sounded like he had a--

you know,
he had a good life

and he was really well-loved
and a nice personality.

You're not-- you're not
making this up, are you?

His name was not Marcel.

It was Jean-Paul.

Jean-Paul.
Yeah.

Yeah.

I can't believe it.
Jean-Paul?

( laughs )
Jean-pull your leg.

( laughs )
You are going to cry.

I wasn't gonna cry.
It's windy.

Oh, shit, I have to go.

It's really busy,
especially with the competition

that we're organizing.

- You're going to apply, right?
- To...

The Kash Award.
I told you about it.

- You didn't forget.
- I didn't forget.

Okay, because the deadline
is in five days,

- so you have to fill the file.
- I'd love to apply--

Oh, awesome.

Okay,
so just drop your clothes

when you are finished
looking like a hedgehog.

Hi.

( laughs )

This is so funny.

Dude, you have to apply
to this contest.

- Just do it.
- I can't.

I don't have any special skills.
I can't draw.

- I can't paint.
- It doesn't matter.

You don't need talent
to do modern art.

You just piss on a crucifix,
shit on a hamster,

and that's it,
job done.

You make millions
and you're famous.

You don't know anything
about modern art, do you?

Modern art isn't
about knowing.

It's about the bullshit.

And when it comes to bullshit,
I'm the master, believe me.

So why don't you do it then?

Exactly my point.

I'll do it with you tonight
at your place.

No, you won't.
You're not invited.

Oh, come on.

No way, forget it.

You know what?
You got a nice ass.

Why don't you get
your nice ass over here

and give me a nice hand?

Look, I'm gonna help you out
big-time, trust me.

Look.

Now, do you want
the blue pill...

or...
the other blue pill?

Well, what is that?
Is that Viagra?

No, this friend's got--
why would it be-- no.

My cousin's a DJ.

He says it unlocks
the doors to his creativity.

Come on, man, take it.

Come on, take that.
Yeah, yeah, now after three.

One, two, three.

No, I don't want it, just--
no, just give it.

Come on-- no--

Ugh.

Now that's some good stuff
right there.

- Is it?
- Mm-hmm.

Well... we'll see.

To work, come on.

So how do you know
it's kicked in?

You'll know.

I like that.
I like that.

What is it?

-( dance music playing )
-I think it's kicked in.

You think?
Whee!

We should...

check out...

the other artists doing it.

Oh, man, this is great, man!

We got to find
a gallery opening somewhere.

We're gonna go.
We're gonna go.

It's like a giant cow
but inside out,

sort of like a--
it's so fluffy.

- Yeah, yeah.
- It's a masterpiece.

We're gonna go out!

Let's just go.
Let's just go.

- Yeah?
- We should just go.

- ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
- No, don't do that.

Don't do that.
Make me sick.

This is the White Mandela.

Ah, symbolic of his struggle
in South Africa.

Sir, you cannot bring that
in here.

Relax, buddy.

I'm not your buddy.

Whoa. Hand.
Talk to it.

Don't touch the artwork.

That is a very rare exhibit
from the Saatchi Gallery.

( sniffing )

Alex. Bonjour.

Bonjour, miss.Ca va.
How's it going?

Ca va.

You spend your whole life
in galleries.

Oh, this?
This is my-- my church.

This is my friend Rebecca.
She's also an artist.

Alex, hi-- oh.

There's something
in the hair.

Something in the air tonight.

Oh, it's sticky, like--
like paint.

Oh, yeah, no, I was painting
in my studio earlier.

Oh, really?
What style?

Modern.

Postmodern?

( whispers indistinctly )

Bye, Rebecca.
Post-postmodern.

Post-postmodern, if you like it,
I have to introduce you

- to someone you're going
to totally love.
- Sure, okay.

Achieving a rigorously
democratic presentation

without
compositional hierarchy.

No.
I don't like it.

( speaking French )

Jean-Paul, this is Alex.

Jean-Paul,
like the hedgehog.

Jean-Paul de Chauvinac.

My work is grounded
in social philosophy.

Autonomy and clarity
for the constructed object

and the space created by it,
ultimately achieving

a rigorously democratic
presentation

without compositional
hierarchy.

The White Mandela
reminds us

of the impermanence of life,
of its fragility.

It is destined
to be destroyed

and it inspires us
to live in peace--

- oh, you must be kidding!
- Sorry, sorry.

( grunts angrily )

Jean-Paul came second last year
at the Kash Award.

( speaks French )

Alex:Right, and that's
how you two met, yeah?

Jean-Paul:No,aux Beaux-Arts
at La Sorbonne in Paris.

I was finishing my PhD,
and Penelope was--

( speaks French )

fresh woman.

( speaking French )

This is a portrait
of my father.

Obviously.

Alex is also an artist.

Oh, well, you know,
I dabble.

and where did you study art?

This work is called
"Untitled #3."

- The Isle of Man?
- Yep.

How much would you sell
something like this for,

for example?

£4,000.

( retches )

Interesting.
Let me check it out.

No, don't do that.
They're not on the web.

They, um--
they're very, very exclusive.

You know, only invite
a select few students.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

Sorry, sir.

Now this,
this is what I like to see.

Finally an artist
who speaks with his guts.

You.

How much?

Out of my way, man.

Four... ty nine--

£49,000.

Bargain.
I'll take it.

( grunts ) Come here!

And, uh, tell me,

what do English people think
of Jacques Derrida?

In France,
he'sthekey reference

for most artistic practices,
huh?

Jacques--
Jacques Cousteau?

Jacques Derrida.

You know, his theories
on semiotic analysis?

Hmm.

What do you think of that?

I'm sorry,
this is not acceptable.

Some people have no respect
for the arts!

I'm going to escort this--
this guy out of here

- and take him to the police.
- Hi, Alex, how you doing, man?

I love performance art.

Great flux.
Know what I mean?

You, sir, are a disgrace
to this establishment!

Very good, McCloud.

You still know
how to put on a show.

- A show. Yes, yes, of course.
- Well done.

All part of the show.
That was all part of the show.

Well done.

And then he pushed him
to the ground

and started beating him to death
with his own fingers.

Man, I don't want
to hear no more.

Yeah, enough with that.
Where are we with this list?

Let's have a look.

( clears throat )

Uh, "a gigantic droplet
in the shape of a cow

with fluffy texture
between red and blue."

I think that was one of yours.

"The sound of strawberries.

Papa, papa, papa, papa.

Pam."

Interesting. Ish.

- A kebab.
- A what?

That's what it says.
A kebab.

Yeah, um...
tell me something.

this cousin of yours,

is he successful
as a musician?

You know, give him time.
He's only 11.

Wait, what about the painting?
I think it looked quite nice.

( insect buzzing )

Um... no, Squid.
It-- it didn't look quite nice.

Right.

Maybe you could take up
art lessons

at the local university.

- They do evening classes.
- Squid, listen, okay?

The submission deadline
for the competition

is this Sunday, all right?

Seriously, what the hell
am I actually gonna do?!

Dude, dude.

Not so loud, yeah?

I'm feeling a little
deconstructed here.

Alex.
My office.

Look, burn it. Eat it.
Hide it. Bury it, whatever.

Please, just get rid of it.

What's the matter with Squid?
He looks like shit.

Oh, um, food poisoning, I think.
Touch of the bad curries.

Oh, shame.

Anyway, talking of curry,

we're gonna be outsourcing
financial services to India.

Okay.

Those boys over there can do
the same work as you guys

- but for a fraction
of the cost.
- Okay.

And they don't whinge
about it all bloody year.

I'm sorry, what?

They don't whinge
about it all year.

No, no, you mean our jobs?

Gone.
To Bangalore, I believe.

Now, we can't afford
to lay you off.

So you are being offered
a position on another contract.

Right, but what about the team?
What about Squid?

Alex... ( sighs )

Do you know why I'm so
successful in this company?

I mean, yeah, of course I do.

Because you're a good leader.
You're determined.

You're brave.
You make decisions.

There's no "I" in "team."

There's no "I" in "team."

So why the hell
should I care?

I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure
I follow you.

Stop worrying
about other people, Alex.

The team is gone.
It's left the building.

It's save-your-ass-o-clock,
man.

What about Squid?
He's--

Squid'll be fine, trust me.

We're gonna offer him
something, too, but right now,

you need to keep quiet
about this, eh?

Nothing's official yet.

Project DNA.

Process and lists.

Process and lists.
But I've never done anything--

It's just admin, taking minutes,
keeping files up to date.

An idiot could do it.

So are you in?

Um...

Great.
I'll take that as a yes.

Kickoff meeting's tomorrow
at 9:00 with Stella Pullman,

and don't be late.

She hates it
when people are late.

Sure.

Right, okay, yeah, sorry.
Thank you, Sean, thank you.

Sean:Sorry,
I forgot to mention--

I need you to interview
a candidate for marketing.

Oh, I'm not sure I can
right now.

I'm not asking.
I'm telling you.

Meeting room 12.
She's waiting.

Right, I'm really busy,
Sean--

Management seemed to like her.

HR want validation
from another department.

So go and validate.
Meeting room 12.

And don't be late tomorrow.

Hi, Rebecca?
Oh.

Uh, we met yesterday,
didn't we?

I thought you were an artist.

I thought you were an artist.

I thought you were an artist.

Yeah,
I thought you were an artist.

Yes.

Right, okay,
so, yeah, marketing.

Everyone's got to pay the bills.
I have a one-year-old son.

Doesn't eat art.

Yeah, um, same here.

I mean, no kid, but, um...

you know, rent and stuff.

Can you tell me
your top 1,000 weaknesses?

1,000 weaknesses.

Sorry, no, I mean, um...

what's your motivation
for wanting this job?

Told you this earlier.
Have a one-year-old son.

Doesn't eat art.

Okay, you got the job.

Really?
Oh, wow. Cool.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

So what's your kid's name?

George.

And how old is he?

He's one.

Told you this earlier.

Yeah, yeah,
no, you're right, sorry.

I meant to ask
is it a boy of a girl.

His name is George.

Yeah, yeah, sorry.

I'm just, um...

I'm just distracted
by a thought.

Maybe...

little George's mum
could make a few extra quid

by doing me a favor?

Oh, my God, no, no, sorry.
That sounded terrible.

Um... no,
it's not what you think,

whatever you were thinking.

No, look, it's, um--
it's about art.

I need some advice.

Okay.

Submission deadline
is this Sunday.

What do you have?

Well, it needs
a little polishing,

but the idea's solid--

Let me have a look.
Let me have a look.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

"Gigantic droplet
the shape of a cow

and fluffy texture
between red and blue.

- All right, give it back.
- The sound of strawberries.

Pa pa pa pa pa."

Yeah, it's not supposed
to be read out loud.

- "A kebab?"
- Shh!

What, like anybody's going
to steal your brilliant ideas?

Like I said,
it needs some polishing.

It needs a lot more than that.
What else have they asked for?

"Brief outline
and past references

from established artists
with recommendations

from curators
and/or universities.

Please attach
a full artist CV."

I'm wasting my time, right?

Can I ask you a question?

- Yeah.
- Why are you doing this?

Um, well, I mean, I thought
it would be a good opportunity

to build my portfolio as an--

Alex, this isn't an interview.
Why are you doing this?

Is it for a girl?

- No.
- ( gasps )

Oh, my God, it is for a girl,
isn't it?

Is it for Penelope,
by any chance?

You are such a bad liar.
It is for Penelope.

Promise you I won't say
a thing, okay?

Look, I have an idea
for the CV and references.

Think about Banksy, Daft Punk,
and Spider-Man.

What do they all
have in common?

They're all superheroes.

Apart from Banksy
and Daft Punk.

No, they all wear masks.

If you apply to the contest
anonymously, you know,

you don't need to show them
any sign of references

or endorsement documents.

Can I do that?

I don't see why not.

I mean, you're better off
showing up with no CV

than an accountant's CV.

Look, I'm sorry, these people
like to think of artists

as some kind of wise geniuses
living on Saturn.

So if you show up
with an accountant's CV,

you're finished.

But then you have to make up
the lack of references

with some kind
of spectacular artwork.

Like what?

Well, not like a kebab.

You need something spectacular.

Your project needs to sweep
people off their feet.

But I don't know how
to do modern art.

Nobody uses modern art today.

Modern art ended
about 50 years ago.

Buy these books, okay?

And learn them by heart.

It's all about
contemporary art today

and not as easy
as people think.

Look, I mean,
with regards to the actual,

you know,
artworks themselves,

um, do you--
do you have any ideas

that maybe I could,
um, borrow,

or some finished artworks
that perhaps I could buy?

I can't do that.
It's gotta come from you.

Otherwise it'd be cheating.

How do you provoke
inspiration?

Just look around you.

Turn off your TV
and turn on your ideas.

I don't have any ideas.

The gods of inspiration
talk to us all the time.

You're just not listening
hard enough.

Penelope?
That is so cute.

( woman speaking indistinctly
on television )

( cheers and applause
on television )

( television shuts off )

Oh, shit.

- Hey, Squid, what's going on?
- Guess.

Cost-cutting opportunity,
they said.

- My job's going to Bangalore.
- That's terrible.

Sean said the team
would be all right.

Sean said what when?

Yesterday,
we had a meeting,

and he told me about
the shake-up

and about our jobs
going to India.

Oh, great, so he's getting rid
of you, too?

Um, well, actually,

he kind of offered me
another job.

I'm doing some sort of admin
for some project.

Project? What project?
What's it about?

I'm not really supposed
to talk about it, mate.

Don't be ridiculous.
What is it?

All right, so apparently,
we're supporting

some sort of research

to do with DNA,
something called

genetic determinism
or something like that,

- but I don't know
anything about it.
- You mother--

What? Why?

Genetic determinism
is evil, mate.

Okay, why?

It's a theory that some people
are born a thief,

born a murderer,
born a drug addict.

it's like it's all predetermined
in their genes.

It's like there's
no such thing as free will.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Am I keeping you?

I'm sorry, but I've got
a meeting to go to about this.

It's kind of important.
But, look, I don't get it.

What's so evil about it?

Up until a few years ago,

they run a file on everyone
from the age of three.

You know,
screening little kids,

flagging the ones they suspect
as potential criminals.

- Based on DNA?
- No, no, no.

They don't know how
to do that yet, so for now,

they'll just base it on wild
assumptions and guesses

based on the kid's behavior.

You know, a kid steals a toy
from one kid at school,

he gets tagged
as a potential thief.

You know,
gets into a fight

with another kid
on the playground,

gets tagged as a potential
violent offender,

and these tags,
they'll stay with them

for the rest of their lives.

All right, okay, here.

But I don't see what that's
gotta do with this project.

Look,
we're an insurance company,

not some sort
of evil corporation.

Wake up, dude.

Okay, I've really gotta go.

But we'll catch up soon, yeah?
I'm sorry, mate.

All right, man, later.

Alex, this is Stella Pullman,
from head office,

project director for DNA.

Um, pleased to meet you,
Stella.

Pleased to meet you, Alex.

Welcome aboard.

Are you familiar
with the exciting initiative

that is the DNA Project?

Um, I wouldn't mind
a little bit more

ground information,
if that's--

- if that's at all possible.
- It is possible.

Data is the big game changer
for today's corporations.

As an insurance company,

knowledge about our clients,
their...

medical profile,

the risk they represent
is key to our business.

You know those free paternity
DNA tests on the internet?

We're in the process
of acquiring the data.

It's an amazing source
of information.

Right, and that's what
the DNA Project's all about?

Mm, not exactly.

One thing we can't analyze
with DNA testing today

is the likeliness of people
to turn criminal.

We need to spot future thieves,

future... drug addicts...

murderers-to-be.

And that's based on, um..
genetic determinism, right?

Correct.

The only way to profile
these people

even before they turn criminal
is to study their behavior,

which can be done from an age
as low as three.

Three-- three years old?

Stella:Absolutely.

Now I know there's
a bit of controversy

about filing kids.

So we need to be careful
about this.

That's why this project
is so confidential.

Exactly.

Right, okay,

and so once these
potential criminals

are identified,
are they given any

sort of form of
additional social support

or anything like that?

As far as we're concerned,

the idea is to avoid
getting them as clients.

Right, okay,
but surely if these kids

are refused proper insurance

and potentially rejected
from some schools and so on,

could it not become
a self-fulfilling prophecy?

I mean, mightn't it just
turn them into criminals?

Alex, you're so cute.

It's a business,
not a charity.

Sean:Don't worry, we're not
going to be locking up

any three-year-olds, eh?
( laughs nervously )

Not our job.

Other people
are in charge of this.

Again, we're walking
on eggshells here.

SomeGuardianreader
would probably call us cynical

or worse.

We're a $20 billion business

in a very
competitive market.

Our shareholders want us
to seize this opportunity

to boost our profits
tremendously .

What do you think, Alex?

Alex.

What do you think?

Um...

I think it's a, uh...

it's a really good idea.

It's brilliant, sir, um--

S-Stella.

- Uh, Rebecca--
- Oh, hi, Alex.

- This is my desk.
I started this morning.
- Lovely.

Um, listen,
I need your help again.

Do you know of any photo studios
I could rent,

preferably with
a photographer attached?

When for?

Tonight. Or tomorrow.

But basically before Sunday.

Alex,
that's really short notice.

Yeah, yeah, I do know, yeah.

Is there
anything else you need?

Do you need cameras,
lights models, um...

Uh, yes, so,
any help on that front.

Yeah, you need them all.
Yeah, uh, right.

- That's kind of
really short notice.
- Great.

- Thanks.
-That's all right, Alex.

- Cool.
-Cool.

Hello?

Hello?
Rebecca?

It's Alex.
Hello?

Anyone there?

Becca?

You there?

It's Alex.

Hi. Alex.

( clatter )

Rebecca?
Rebecca?

( knock on glass )

- Alex?
- Penel, hi.

- Have you seen Reb--
- Have you seen Rebecca?

She told me to come here
for a photo shoot?

do you know anything
about that?

Um, yes and no.

There's nobody here.

No, well,
that's not entirely true.

( speaks French )

( laughs,
speaks French )

( knock on door )

I'll get it.

Hi, I'm Kate,
Rebecca told us to come

and bring the kids
for a photo shoot.

Are you the artist?

Um... yeah.
I suppose I am.

Oh, okay.

- Yeah, yeah, come in.
- Thanks.

♪ I've got a feeling
we're going somewhere ♪

♪ The evening alight
and there's hope in the air ♪

♪ The summer and sense
of adventure's begun ♪

♪ Time to get on tubes
and just follow the sun ♪

♪ I got the answer,
I got the answer ♪

♪ You got the answer,
I got the answer ♪

♪ I got the answer,
we got the answer ♪

♪ I got the answer,
I got the answer ♪

♪ We got the answer,
I got the answer ♪

♪ I got the answer,
we got the answer ♪♪

- ( chuckles )
- It's really good.

Yeah.

And just in time for
the submission on Sunday.

So I'll see you when you apply
at the gallery?

Sure.

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

And I'll also throw broccoli
onto the sticky tape.

But maybe not.

It's experimental,
so anything could happen.

Maybe I'll throw carrots.

Ah, maybe not.

Maybe I'll throw...

cats.

Oh, yeah.

Live cats.

How clever.

Thank you..
for your submission, we--

It's not linear.

So people may not understand
what's going on.

But that's the point.

People are so conditioned
by the consumer society

that they're stuck
in a bubble.

Sure, we-- we'll--

So...

it's either broccoli...

or cats.

Depends on the quantity
of drugs I take.

Yes. ( chuckles )

Awesome.

We'll, um-- we'll review this
file, and, um--

- Next.
- Let you now, thank you.

Uh...

Thank you.

Um, and you are?

( muffled ) Oh, um,
my name's Captain Fox.

Sorry.
What was that?

Sorry, the mask.

I said the name's
Captain Fox.

I beg your pardon.
Your name is?

I think he said his name
is Captain Fox.

Kash:Right.

And, um...

what's your artist statement,
Mister--

Captain Fox?

Well, my artist statement
basically

revolves around the concept
of DNA profiling in children,

specifically
for consumer markets.

( speaking indistinctly )

Did you--
did you get that?

No, not at all.

It's in the file.

Oh, yes,
it might be easier this way.

Well, thank you, Mr. Fox.
We'll let you know very soon.

( Alex mumbles )

Ah, Mr. de Chauvinac.
How are you today?

It's a real pl--

My work is grounded
in social philosophy.

I sought autonomy and clarity
for the constructed object,

ultimately achieving

a rigorously
democratic presentation

without
compositional hierarchy.

( whispering indistinctly )

We also need to validate
each milestone

before we release the roadmap.

( cell phone buzzes )

I'm sorry.

Sorry about that.

( buzzing continues )

Sorry.

Let's just call it a day.

I'll call the head office

and let them know
about our progress.

Right, thanks, sorry.

Hello.

- Hello?
- Penelope:Hi, Captain Fox.

I'm calling you on behalf
of Kash Art Gallery.

I have good news for you,
Captain Fox.

Our jury has selected your
project for the next round.

Oh, my God,
that's fantastic.

Congratulations.

Are you okay?

I mean, you sound
a little bit formal.

Can you talk?
Is your boss around?

-Yes.
- Well, which one is it?

Can you talk
or is your boss around?

Yes.

All right, look, take it easy.
I'll pop over, okay?

Penelope:So please let me know

if you need
any more information.

Okay, bye.

You sounded really sad
on the phone.

Is everything okay?

You take a break,
sweetie, if you want.

I don't like
to look like that.

Don't-- don't worry.

It's Jean-Paul.

The hedgehog?

Okay, what about him?

I found out that he only
pretended to like me

to increase his chances
at the Kash Award.

What do you mean?
How?

He was nice to my face,
and behind my back,

he was backstabbing me.

He just wanted
insider information.

I feel so used and...

I just hate liars.

Yeah, well, what--
what a dickhead.

I hate French people.

Well, I mean, obviously,
apart from you.

And of course, your family--

And you know, he's gone
through to the next round.

You know that he convinced me
not to apply

because he said that
I wasn't ready, but really,

he just didn't want
any competitor.

Hang on, I mean, okay,
you work for the gallery, right?

So couldn't you just talk
to Mr. Kash and...

And say what?

"Oh, can you please
disqualify this guy

because I'm too naive
and I don't know how to deal

with my own problems?"

Well, I wouldn't quite
word it like that.

No, I mean, seriously, okay,
maybe he's not gonna win.

I mean, how many other people
are selected

for this next round?

Five, including him and you.

See?
So there you go.

Maybe someone could
come along and--

I saw Jean-Paul's work, okay?

It's better
than everybody else's.

The guy's bringing
his PhD to the table, you know?

He has three years of work
and 100 pages of explanation.

Wow.

Okay,
don't take this badly, okay?

Because you're great.

Your project
is really great, okay?

And well done
for being selected,

but at the exhibition
with the jury

and the media questions,
it's gonna be really tough.

Which exhibition?

On Friday you have to present
to the exhibition as a group.

There will be a jury
and journalists,

and Jean-Paul is really good
at that, so...

Okay, wow, um,
I didn't know that.

Look,
I'm not entirely sure

I want to
go and humiliate myself

in front
of literally everyone.

It's up to you.

( telephone rings )

- I have to get that.
- Yep.

♪ The mountains
were burned ♪

♪ And the sky
had turned red ♪

♪ I called out your name ♪

♪ In the dark ♪

♪ I wound up your music box,
memories played ♪

Penelope:I just hate liars.

♪ I know that you're gone ♪

♪ But I've got your song ♪

♪ Here in my heart strings ♪

♪ You're queen of the stars ♪

♪ Here in my heart ♪

♪ Here in my heart strings ♪♪

I have an idea.
I need your help.

Okay, here's the plan.

How did you find out
about the--

about the genetic profiling?

Oh, um, a friend of a friend
of a friend, actually.

Yeah, do you think we can
move that two pixels down

and to the left?

Uh, yeah.

Uh... yeah.

It's Ellen Gallagher.

Yeah, okay, okay,
don't worry.

In the Philippines and did
a lot of work in the USA.

Oh, Manuel, um...

Come on, yeah.

- Strauss.
- Ah, Richter. ( groans )

Okay, please, can I do it?

( laughs )

Okay, look, okay, you just--

I think that you can do it

a little bit like more rugged,
you know?

Like that.

( music over dialogue )

♪ A glint in your eyes
fires flares through
the night ♪

♪ Drawing paths to your side,
and the future is primed ♪

♪ A procession of beats
like black holes in the heat ♪

♪ And all I can see
is you falling for me ♪

♪ Forever tonight
eternity died ♪

♪ In a circle of light,
a fragment of time ♪

♪ Into the flames,
I found you again ♪

♪ Where soul mates conspire
in the festival of fire ♪

♪ Give me your hand,
pretend if you can ♪

♪ Don't say your name
as if this was a game ♪

♪ Wave after wave
of beauty and fear ♪

♪ We fall as we fall,
and the moment is near ♪

♪ Forever tonight
eternity died ♪

♪ In a circle of light,
a fragment of time ♪

♪ Into the flames,
I found you again ♪

♪ Where soul mates conspire
in the festival of fire ♪

Man on radio:Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

What does the Fox say?

Well, the Fox says
your kids are in danger...

( speaking foreign language )

♪ Superposed we divide
in a nebula of time ♪

♪ Particles collide
in a festival of light ♪

♪ A palpable force
of fate lights the walls ♪

♪ We fall as we fall,
and fate takes its course ♪

♪ Forever tonight
eternity died ♪

♪ In a circle of light,
a fragment of time ♪

♪ Into the flames,
I found you again ♪

♪ Where soul mates conspire
in the festival of fire ♪

♪ Into the flames, I-- ♪♪

Do you have any idea the kind
of call I had from the US?

The VP was screaming
on the phone.

I can imagine.

No! You can't.

Sorry I'm a tad late.
Did I miss anything?

As you probably know, Alex,
we have a bit of a crisis here.

Has there?

Do you have clue
who could have leaked

the information to the press?

Um, what information?
Sorry.

The information to the press!

- We should call the police.
- Certainly not!

At this stage,
the story that's circulating

refers only
to insurance
"companies."

We should avoid attracting
any attention toourcompany.

Maybe it was some
disgruntled ex-employee.

Maybe! Maybe not!
Find out!

( door opens )

Oh, shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

Yeah. Shit.

This is really terrible.

Um... by the way, Sean,

would you mind awfully
if I took a day off on Friday?

Oh, man,
I fucking hate artists.

So good for Friday?
One little day off?

Sean, I actually
really need to--

- Are you deaf?
- Come on, Sean, please--

I said no!

Fine, um, sorry.

( door opens )

Morning.

Morning.

Hi, sorry,
where is Captain Fox?

Oh, he should be here
any minute, actually.

Great. Oh, by the way,
I love your look there.

- Oh.
- Where'd you get that?

- Just something I threw on.
- It's amazing.

- Thank you very much.
- Good day.

You too.

Woman on radio:...raise concerns
about DNA profiling

for young children.

Captain Fox has not arrived
in the gallery yet.

But I have with me
another contestant.

Mr. Jean-Paul de Chauvinac,

can you tell us more
about your artistic project?

I sought autonomy and clarity
for the constructed object

and the space created by it,
ultimately achieving

a rigorously
democratic presentation

without compositional
hierarchy.

Woman:Do you encourage the public
to touch your creations?

Jean-Paul:
Well, a lot of people ask me

if they can touch my artwork,
but only I can touch my balls.

( laughs )

( clears throat )

So I studied at La Sorbonne.
You know that.

And I did my PhD there--

That is so interesting.

Thank you.

Mr. Kash.

What is the name
of this contestant?

That?
That's the famous Captain Fox.

Right,
but what's his real name?

It's a mystery.

We don't even know ourselves.

How exciting.

Penel ( speaks French )

-( beeps )
-Alex, Sean here.

I'm sure I don't
have to remind you,

but you are to be in a meeting
starting in two minutes.

Please do not be late.

Great socks, Alex.

Oh, thanks.
( chuckles )

I sought autonomy and clarity--

autonomy and clarity
for the constructed object

and the space created by it,
ultimately achieving

a rigorously democratic
presentation

without compositional
hierarchy.

Penelope:Alex, it's me.

Everyone is asking about you.
Where are you?

Please come back to the gallery
as soon as you can.

It's him!
It's him!

( reporters clamoring )

Mr. Fox!

How would you
compare your work to, um,

Barbara Kruger?

Or Andreas Gursky?

Um... ( swallows )

how-- how would I compare
my work

to Barbara Kruger
and Andreas Gursky?

Um...

( sighs )

Well, I can certainly relate
to Barbara Kruger's

provocative questioning
of our society.

So far as Gursky's concerned,
though,

he views the world
dispassionately

and from a distance,
to quote Calvin Tomkins.

How's he doing?

This is what I would say
is the major difference

between him and myself.

Yes!
He's brilliant.

Was there anything else?

that was just a question.

Thank you.

( all clamoring )

Rebecca,
you seen Alex anywhere?

- Who?
- Alex.

The guy that interviewed you.

Oh, of course, Alex.
Um, yeah, yeah.

I think he was
in the cafeteria.

Actually,
I could be totally wrong.

- The corridors, yeah.
- Right.

No, no, I think he might
be downstairs, actually.

Oh, whatever.
I'll call him.

( all chattering )

( cell phone buzzes )

Sorry, sorry, would excuse me?
Thank you.

Monsieur de Chauvinac.
Congratulations.

The judges
have narrowed it down.

It's now just between
the two of you.

Excellent!

And who is the other
selected finalist?

Captain Fox.

We'll announce
the winner shortly.

( cell phone buzzing )

This is Alex.

Alex, I'd like to see you
in my office now, please.

Uh, I'm just in the toilet
at the minute, Sean.

Got a bit of the case
of the bad curries.

You know the Indian
restaurant downstairs.

Great chicken vindaloo,
but, boy, does it go right--

Don't you give me
that curry crap.

I wanna see you
in my office now.

Follow that taxi.
Please. Quick!

The black one,
went on the right.

Can you go faster?
I can't see it.

I can't see his face.

For the sake of art,
can you go faster, please?

Penelope, have you seen
the finalists?

I can't seem
to find them anywhere.

Um, maybe they went for a walk.
Too much pressure.

This is ridiculous.

I've got to announce
the finalists.

( whispering )

Sorry,
should I come back later?

Come in.

Shut the door.

Sit down.

Alex, my boy...

I'm sure by now you have become
very well aware

that the activities
of this Captain Fox

have completely jeopardized--

I'll handle this.

Sooner or later,
we'll find out

who this little Fox is,
okay?

If he or she turns out
to be an employee

or a former employee,

Our top layers will swoop down
from helicopters

and make sure this person
never sleeps again.

Do you understand?

Um...y-yeah,
yeah, sure.

Uh... why--
why are you telling me this?

We just wanted
to let you know.

You can leave now.

Okay. Thanks.

( speaks French )
What a surprise.

You look so different
with this outfit

and without
your little mask.

- Look--
- I can easily imagine

how disappointed the jury
and the media will be

when they discover
that the rebel artist

is actually just a docile
little corporate soldier

in an insurance company.

( chuckles softly )

You wouldn't want anyone
to find out

your true identity,
would you?

Well, I've got
good news for you.

Nobody will
because Captain Fox
is going to disappear

by magic,
like an urban fox.

And now you can go back
to your numbers

and your little spreadsheets.

I've got a prize to win.

So this one
is actually French.

Yes, yes,
and this one was in--

( cell phone buzzes )

Oh, just one minute.
I'll be right back.

Alex, where are you?

Look, I'm sorry, uh...

it's finished.

There's, um,
something I haven't told you.

I know.

You know what?

I know.

Dude, stop telling everyone
you're an accountant, yeah?

Girls will never fall for that!
Pretend to be someone else.

- Pretend to be someone cool.
- Look, I'm honest, I'm--

Boring! And I'm your mate
telling you that.

Honest guys finish last.
Two white wines, please.

Why did you let me lie to you?

You didn't really lie to me.

You know, Joseph Beuys says
that everyone is an artist.

Yeah, but I'm not
a professional artist.

So what?
Artist is not a job.

I don't make money
from my art either.

You know, maybe I'll never be
a professional,

but I'll always be an artist.

Well, I'm sorry anyway,
but we lost the competition.

Oh, well.

Un-- unless...

( computer chimes )

Ta-da.

There's some similarities

between your artist's statement
and the description

of Donald Judd's work.

- Can you explain that?
- Come again?

There seem to be some
similarity between
your artist's statement

and a description
of Donald Judd's work.

- Can you explain that?
- What?

- Similarities between
your statement--
- ( speaks French )

Kash:Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you so much

for supporting
the Kash Award.

I have to say
that we are honored to have--

- Man:It's him!
- Woman:It's him, it's him.

( speaks French )

This person is a fraud.

This person is not a real fox--
is not a real artist.

And I shall prove it.

- ( gasps )
-Voila.

Impossible.

( clamoring )

Please, please,
please, shush.

Just one question
at a time, please.

What's your real name?

Penelope, I, uh--

You had a male voice before.

If anyone asks,
I act alone.

What's the thing about DNA?

Why did you apply anonymously?

Well, actually,
I'm an assistant in the gallery.

So I didn't want people
to think

that I had gotten
favors from the jury.

( clamoring )

Kash:Guys, please, please.

One question
at a time, please.

It is you.
You are so--

What are you gonna do, Sean?
Fire me? I quit.

It's him!
It's him!

Look, everyone!
The Fox!

He has the socks!

( jeering )

He is the--

he's the--

I need to raise a complaint.

I don't see
any irregularity here.

( speaks French )

What did he say?

- Excuse me.
- Excuseme!

I don't know.
I don't care.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the winner
of the Kash Award,

Penelope.

( cheers and applause )

What are you plans now?

Uh, well, actually,
I think I will go on holiday

with my new boyfriend.

- Dude, let me come.
- No.

Woman: ...would you consider
yourself as one of them?

So, are you an actress?

( reporters clamoring )

Yes?

Let me introduce myself.

Jacque de la Face,
film director.

Come with me.
I'll make you famous.

♪ They were
the best days of our lives ♪

♪ They will always be
our time ♪

♪ We were young ♪

♪ And the story
had hardly begun ♪

♪ We drank through
the whole first night ♪

♪ Remember how we talked
until the dawn ♪

♪ Watched the rising
of the sun ♪

♪ No sleep at all,
and it was glorious ♪

♪ On the summer's hottest day,
we sat scorching in the rays ♪

♪ By the stage,
and it was glorious ♪

♪ Hung over and dried out ♪

♪ We laid low
until the sun came down ♪

♪ At night ♪

♪ We literally laughed
till we cried ♪

♪ We knew it'd be
all right ♪

♪ Remember how we talked
until the dawn ♪

♪ Watched the rising
of the sun ♪

♪ No sleep at all,
and it was glorious ♪

♪ On the summer's hottest day,
we sat scorching in the rays ♪

♪ By the stage,
and it was glorious ♪

♪ The world was far away ♪

♪ We were broke
and in a daze ♪

♪ We had a place,
and it was glorious ♪

♪ On the summer's
hottest day ♪

♪ We lay blissed out
in the shade ♪

♪ More than great,
it was glorious ♪

♪ They were the best days
of our lives ♪

♪ They will always be
our time ♪

♪ We were young ♪

♪ And the story
had hardly begun ♪

♪ We drank through
the whole first night ♪

♪ Remember how we talked
until the dawn ♪

♪ Watched the rising
of the sun ♪

♪ No sleep at all,
and it was glorious ♪

♪ On the summer's hottest day,
we sat scorching in the rays ♪

♪ By the stage,
and it was glorious ♪

♪ The world was far away ♪

♪ We were broke
and in a daze ♪

♪ We had a place,
and it was glorious ♪

♪ On the summer's
hottest day ♪

♪ We lay blissed out
in the shade ♪

♪ More than great ♪

♪ It was glorious ♪♪