All language subtitles for resident.alien.s01e03.1080p.web.h264-ggez

Previously on "Resident Alien."

Stranded on an alien planet.

In order to survive and
complete my mission,

I would have to somehow fit
in with the human life forms.

Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle?

We had a murder
in town last night.

We need you to come down
and take a look at the body.

- What the mother hell?
- You're not dead.

Asta's the nurse.

It's the new doctor.

- He's an alien.
- Wait, an alien?

What the hell are
you teaching this kid?

One mistake.

Just one mistake made
out of necessity for survival.

I had no choice

but to kill the human known
as Harry Vanderspeigle.

I was just defending myself.

How was I supposed to know

when I threw him
on top of the ice

he would disappear
into the lake?

I am an alien.

I don't know every little
detail about how Earth works.

Everything will be fine.

I just need to find that body
before someone else does.

Another example of humans
being weak and inefficient.

Their bodies must shut down

for eight hours
every single day,

or they don't work properly.

Please be 6:00 a. M.
Please be 6:00 a. m.

So much to do.

I have to find that body
in the lake, find my device,

the pieces of my ship that
broke off over the mountains,

I have to kill that kid

almost forgot about that.

Exterminate the human race.

Milk, gotta get milk.

Don't forget the milk.

Maybe some cereal.

If I can't sleep,

I can at least learn
to be a better doctor.

Circumcision.

What is that, eye
surgery? Click.

They are a savage people.

Refreshed.

Plenty of energy
to climb a mountain.

Did you hear that Chinese
restaurant next to the theater

is shutting down?

No way.

I love that place.

Yeah, Mrs. Lee accused
her husband of cheating.

- I guess they're splitting up.
- What?

They're such a great couple.

It's probably a
misunderstanding.

I'll talk to her.

I hear someone wants to
turn it into a gourmet pizza joint.

On the other hand,

he was handsy
with the ladies, so.

She's gotta do
what she's gotta do.

Right. You throw
high, I'll throw low?

- Spinner's on.
- Spinner's on.

- Safety off.
- Safety off.

Three, two, one, pull.

Nice hook shot.

Ball is life.

Yeah, say that again.

- Ball is life.
- No, don't

- don't say it twi...
- Ball is life.

You always do that.

This is the third piece
of my ship that I've found.

My device has to be nearby.

I'm not alone up here.

This is bad.

I just felt my rear iris pucker

and my testicles tighten.

My taint remains unchanged.

That avalanche
covering my search area

has set me back at least a week.

These humans think they
can constantly thwart my plans.

Well, no more.

This is some bullshit!

Hi, I'm Kate Hawthorne.

My husband is Ben, the mayor.

I met him. He smells like soap.

Yeah, that's him.

My son ran out of your
office a few days ago.

Can I come in? Please?

- Yes, just one minute.
- O.

I need to talk to you
about something.

My son Max told
me you're an alien.

What's that then?

He also told me that you
broke into his bedroom

and tried to kill him.

That's interesting.

What is wrong with him?

Why is he making things up?

- You think he's lying.
- Of course he's lying.

You're obviously not an alien.

I'm so embarrassed that
he ran out of the clinic.

I'm sorry to bother you.

I normally talk to Sam
about this stuff, but he's

well, you know.

He's dead.

Yeah.

Well, you don't have
anything to worry about.

I'm not an alien.

Unfortunately. I hear
they're pretty cool.

Thank you for coming over.

It's just... I can't get
my son off of this.

And it's not just
the stories, he's

he's drawn pictures.

Lots and lots of
pictures. Look at them.

They're disturbing.

And that alien? I mean

he even convinced
the deputy to draw this.

Look at this, it's disgusting.

Makes me want to
throw up just looking at it.

Some people think
humans are ugly.

I just don't know what to do.

Max won't sleep, he won't eat,

and, frankly, he
is driving me crazy.

You're a doctor.

Is there anything
that we can do?

Move.

- What?
- Far away from here.

A new school, a new life.

If Max knows that he is
never setting a foot in Colorado

or the Western
United States again,

I think that he will
be a happy kid.

We have jobs.

My husband is the mayor.

Scotland needs mayors.

I read it in a book.

We're not moving.

Of course!

Not.

Um.

He's probably just
looking for attention.

Yeah.

I guess that makes sense.

I try and steer clear
of Max during the day.

Having a mom who works at
school isn't the easiest thing.

Neglect. It's your fault.

And with that, you can go.

Yeah, well, I

guess I'll just try spending
more time with him.

Gotta be honest, I feel
like I'm losing my mind.

Max doesn't drop
the alien thing,

I'm gonna kill him.

You and me both.

Thank you so
much for everything.

'Kay.

Good morning, dickhead.

Can't call me that.
That's a nasty word.

I'm sorry, shit-for-brains.

You're inappropriate
and you stole my flyers.

Do you wanna put them back up?

Go ahead.

No one believes you,
anyway, not even your parents.

Tell people I am an alien.

Climb to the
highest tower in town

and shout it to everyone.

We don't have
towers, you dumb alien.

No, I

I know that; It was
a figure of speech.

No, it wasn't.

My God, you actually
thought we had towers.

I did not!

You're so stupid.

"Hi, I'm an alien and
I think it's castle times

and there are towers."

I was testing to see if you
thought there were towers,

and you're lucky you passed.

Well, I'm gonna
go to school now.

Wait.

I hope a tower
doesn't fall on me

because we live in
make-believe times.

You're the one who
thinks there's towers!

Dickhead.

Assh...

Asshole.

Hey, Ass-ta.

It's sta, Ellen. You knew that.

Sorry. Must be the
Canadian in me.

Well,

on this side of the
imaginary border, it's sta.

Pasta, drama, sta. What
else can I do for you?

Sta, Dr. V needs
some prescription pads,

but I can't find any.

- Well, where have you looked?
- I haven't looked yet.

Can you get them?

Whoa, what are you doing?

- I want that so badly.
- Excuse me?

Sleep.

I can't sleep at night.
I'm trying to learn how.

Okay, well, please
stop. It's creepy.

Get up.

Jay, Jay, wake up.

Please wake up.

Have you seen one of
Sam's prescription pads

laying around?

There's one missing.

I don't know if
he took it home, I

he always used
to keep them here.

That's why you woke me up?

Well, have you seen it or not?

Not.

I just work here
for school credit.

I barely know where the
tongue depressors are.

I thought sleep was supposed
to make you feel better.

Cut her some slack.

She was probably up all
night reeling like the rest of us.

You didn't even know
Sam. Why can't you sleep?

There's a dead me
floating in the lake.

I can't find the on/off
switch in my brain.

Do you ever meditate?

By meditate, do you
mean sit peacefully

and think of all the
people I want to kill?

Yes. I like it very much.

Good.

Dr. Vanderspeigle,

we need you down
at the town hall.

What's going on?

There's another dead
body. This time in the lake.

Okay.

All right, all right,

now there's a lot of
misinformation out there, okay?

Everybody just
needs to calm down.

And somebody need to
open up a damn window

'cause it smell like a
sweaty REI store up in here.

What?

- I hear they found a body?
- No, just a foot.

Jack Rooney found
it fishing the lake.

Which lake? My lake?

Not your lake.

Belongs to the
state of Colorado.

Are you trying to impress me?

By making me think
you own a lake?

No, I'm not doing that.

Can maybe you be
just a little less needy

and a little bit more sensitive?

Because somebody's died, so.

Come on, can we see the foot?

What's going on? Who
does the foot belong to?

Yes, and can we touch it?

Were they murdered?

- Okay, folks, folks, folks.
- What size is it?

This is an ongoing investigation

and all that we have
now isisis a dead foot.

That foot belongs
to the guy I killed.

For all we know,
you know, it's just,

some hiker who got his
foot ripped off by a bear.

There's a killer
bear on the loose?

I know it. It's my own fault.

I should've spent more
time searching the lake

and less time watching
"Law & Order" marathons.

All right!

I want everybody to shut up!

I want it so quiet in here,

you can hear a mouse piss
on cotton, you understand me?

No.

- Now...
- Okay.

As you all know,

we recently lost one of
our own, Sam Hodges,

who was murdered.

Now, finding this
here foot in there?

This is a good thing,

'cause it means that we don't
have a murderer in our town.

Wewe don't?

We got ourselves
a serial killer, y'all.

How the hell is
that a good thing?

Serial killers don't
run away and hide.

They lie in wait
to strike again,

so they're easier to catch.

Hell, if I was a serial killer,

I'd be in this room right now
looking for my next victim.

All right. Whoa, whoa,
whoa, don't worry!

We're gonna send the foot
to Denver for DNA testing.

Once we find out who it
is, we gon' catch this killer.

I can't let them get that DNA.

They'll know I'm dead lake man.

Doctor, do you
have anything that

that you could...
that you could add?

I am so scared!

Real nice, Doc. Real
smooth, real smooth.

Fear is real. I
have all the signs.

Sweaty palms...

Elevated heartbeat...

Nice hat, freak.

Now that I'm in this body,
I'm feeling human emotions.

Sorry.

Poor guy.

My guess is a boat propeller
probably hit the dead body

and just chopped
the foot right off.

White male.

I'm thinking late 40s, 180
pounds, over six feet tall.

That's a size twelve shoe.

Heck, if you didn't
have two feet,

I'd think this thing was yours.

You are a funny,
hilarious person.

Anyway, the medical
examiner will let us know

if we get a hit on the DNA.

No, I know there's a
chance that there won't be,

but with so many people
in the database these days,

all those ancestry testing kits.

Even I did one.

I found out that, um,

my real father is actually
my dad's best friend, Bill,

so I told my dad and
he and my mom broke up

and then he left town
and he moved to Ohio, so

I don't recommend those tests.

Anyway, soon the only people
who won't be in the database

are hermits and babies.

Definitely my foot.

It's amazing how my people
have developed the ability

to mimic other life forms
on the cellular level.

We are an incredible.

And I forgot to close the door.

When you're doing
being next-level weird,

we have the Briscoes
in the exam room.

There's my sock.

It's here.

Where's my goddamn foot?

You stole my five
dead little piggies,

not to mention
Liv's favorite bucket.

She puts her soda pop in there.

I can help. I am a pathologist.

You don't need to send
the whole foot to Denver.

Well, then pathologize
the damn thing

and get me a DNA sample.

We got some Ted Bundy
shit going on around here,

and I need to put a stop
to it before he strikes again.

Or she.

The killer could be a woman.

That's sexist. You're sexist.

Let me tell you something.

When I say he, I mean he or she.

You know, between you and me,

what is this PC
bullshit anyway now

where you gotta
say "he/she" for "he"

when "he" already mean
"he/she," you know what I mean?

I just think it'll be
more respectful

if you think of the
killer as a woman.

Okay.

Well, let me tell you what
I think would be respectful

is if you got me a
skin sample off this foot

before I start
needing dick pills.

Now, I'ma be in the
waiting room waiting.

But you always remember
where you were when they came.

There.

And in this case, my great
idea came the moment

I entered the exam
room and realized

I was going to cut the
foreskin off this baby's dick

and hand it to the sheriff.

- How long has he been sick?
- Just two days.

He doesn't have a fever.

That's a relief.

His chest is clear.
Is he circumcised?

- What?
- What?

Right, how dumb of me to ask.

I'm right here. I can
just check myself.

Let's see what you're
packin' down there, champ.

HarryDr. Vanderspeigle,
you don't need to do that.

He's not circumcised.
Not yet, anyway.

We were thinking about it
but hadn't made a decision.

And you don't need to
make a decision right now.

The sooner the better.

Removing the foreskin
reduces the risk

of urinary tract infection.

- Also STDs.
- STDs?

Do you want your
baby getting gonorrhea?

Is that a real question?

No, it's not.

- You should consider it.
It's a very simple procedure.

All I do is surgically
remove the skin

which covers the tip
of your baby's prick.

Here you go.

I'm keeping the foot so
it can be stored properly.

Fine by me.

Thing made my whole
office smell like bad sushi.

I gotta get this back to Liv.

You know ladies
love they buckets.

Before you say that's
sexist, that's just a fact.

- Hey, Maxie.
- Mom, what are you doing?

I can't be seen hanging
out with my mother.

Don't be silly. Hey.

Teachers get lunch breaks, too.

Just wanted to stop by
and see how you're doing.

Please go!

I'll literally pay you.

That's the money I
gave you this morning.

Money is money.

Okay, just hey.

I just wanted to tell
you that I love you.

Okay.

- Can I just get a hug?
- No!

Okay, great. Okay, bye.

- Love you.
- Hey.

Dude, that's the kid
with the alien poster.

What, Space Boy?

He's the one with
the alien posters?

You wanna make fun of me too?

No.

Because I believe you.

Stress, fear.

No wonder humans
can't sleep at night.

Imagine what that water
would do to your balls?

At least I don't have
to worry about the kid

or the foot anymore.

What's going on here?
Why are you on my beach?

It's official police
business, Doc.

Rest of that body's got to
be out there somewhere,

and I plan on finding it.

You work too hard. You
should take some time off.

Doctor's orders.

I am a little concerned about

the overall scale
of this operation.

You know, we don't have the
budget to drag this whole lake.

You got it in your budget

to live in a town littered
with dead bodies?

Not really how budgets work.

And this whole thing...
It's just too expensive.

I mean, the town is definitely
not paying for snacks, okay?

Those are Cletus's dog treats.

Hey, don't be spittin' that out!

That's real bison meat. What
the hell's wrong with you?

Dang it! God, it's
like a gamey peanut.

Listen,

everyone here needs to
get their head in the game.

We're searching
this entire lake.

We ain't gon' stop
till we find that body.

Yes, nurse.

I have very bad ass rash
for you to examine, please.

Okay?

My God, you scared me.

Come on, let's go.

You've been so mopey lately.

You do know my friend Sam died.

Yes, I know.

I know, I know,

and I'm very sorry and it sucks,

but maybe to get your mind
off of it, you come out with me.

You taking me to feed
baby squirrels again?

This is even better.

They find that body, I'm
gonna legit shit myself.

When you said "have some fun,"

I thought you meant
dinner or maybe a movie.

Come on, we got
a live show here.

The finale, fingers crossed,
is a bloated, dead corpse.

- So this is our night?
A floater watch party?

This town, I'll
take what I can get.

Besides, I was dating this
guy, and he sort of ghosted me.

Oof.

I mean, he stopped
calling entirely

and I'm kind of hoping that's
him out there, you know?

Get some closure.

Also, you know what I heard?
JT is having a party later.

I haven't thought
about him in forever.

I can't believe
he's still around.

Well, I mean,
everybody's still around.

Nobody gets out of here.

We did.

I'll give us that.

We both got out and
chased our dreams.

- Damn right.
- Yeah.

And reality chased
us right back.

Yeah.

Yeah, starting to envy
that body in the lake.

Deputy, why is your
boat headed to shore?

The mayor has to
be brought back in.

He has an appointment.

Is there somebody
throwing up on that boat?

Hi, Sheriff. This is
the mayor speaking.

I just have a
pre-existing appoi...

Are you seasick?

We don't halt justice

just 'cause your
tummy's a little upset.

If you gotta piss,
puke, or shit,

you do it over the
side of the boat.

In the meantime,
we stick to the plan.

You do the east lake
grid; I do the west lake grid.

- Over.
- Aye-aye, Sheriff.

Perhaps if you drank some water?

All I taste is bison.

I don't like this feeling.

Even this dog is
making me nervous.

I remember when I didn't
know the meaning of fear.

After my ship crashed, I
was on my own for two weeks.

An alien on an alien
planet, danger everywhere.

None of it concerned me.

Not knowing fear allowed me
to make bold fashion choices.

I don't think they're
gonna find a body.

Come on, stay positive.

I think that's Harry's
cabin over there.

Fancy.

I wonder what half of it will
be worth when we split up.

I remember who
Harry reminds me of.

Who?

- Danny Oliver.
- My God, he took you to prom.

Yes, he did, right?

- Yes, he did.
- God.

You remember him dancing
to "Got Your Money"?

Sheriff, maybe I should go
in and check the shoreline?

Based on the current,

it is highly probable the
body has already washed up.

I know what's going
on. The mayor's still sick.

You stay on mission,
Deputy. We got a body to find.

This guy's not going to give up.

I can't panic. I
just need a plan.

If they find the body,

I'll say it's my twin
brother, Frederico.

Playboy, drinker, bad swimmer.

Whoa. Down, boy.

Down, boy.

Down! This is my body.

This is my body.

No, let go!

Harry? Are you home?

Ooh.

Yes, I'm home

just standing
here doing nothing.

Cool. Looks like a fun night.

What are you doing here?

We were down at the beach

watching the lake being dragged.

It's like our town's
version of a drive-in.

- Yeah.
- So.

Can we use your bathroom?

- Um...
- Please?

It's back there.

But then you have
to leave right away.

- I'm very busy.
- Yeah, we know, doing nothing.

I'm over him. Like, so over him.

Like, I'm embarrassed
that I was into him.

Why are you going
through his stuff?

You can find out a lot
about a guy this way.

He's got all the vitamins.

A, B, Coh, my God.

They're stored in
alphabetical order.

He's a maniac.

I'm so turned on.

We are gonna go.

Do not go in there.

I'm just kidding. I didn't
shit in your bathroom.

Gotta go to a party.
Sorry, you're not invited.

Kinda a girl's
night thing so yeah.

Okay.

Seriously, it's not a big deal.

It's just, like, my ex, JT,
he's, like, really successful

and he's got this, like,
really big house in the hills

and he's, like,
begging me to go,

which... embarrassing
for him, you know?

Then I'm confused
why you're still here.

- Go.
- No, we're good.

I get it. So we'll see
you another time.

Thank you.

It's like he's jealous
but barely hiding it.

You know?

He's hiding it pretty well.

He's probably gonna follow us.

No, he's not.

- My God.
- You're so weird.

- Hey, you girls got ID?
- What are you doing here?

This bitch called in
for reinforcements.

- Aww, D'arce.
- Mwah.

Thank you. Let's
do the damn thing.

Give it to you.

Do you have anything stronger?

Pumped Sage
enough milk for a week.

- I'm trying to be out-out.
- Ooh, you look hot.

Ooh, why are you
dressed like a mob wife?

Why aren't you?

I have a husband.
You have a cat.

Besides,

this is the first night I've
been out since Sage was born.

I'm not gonna waste it on
a Broncos jersey and jeans.

I see somebody I wanna talk to

with my butt.

'Kay.

Hey, watch it.

- Kick rocks, cougar.
- Cougar?

We know the guy that lives here,

so maybe we could have him

just kick your ass
right out of here.

Who, JT's dad?
He's outta town, lady.

Lady?

Check out the MILFs.

Did you invite me to
a high school party?

- God.
- Holy shit.

No, no, no, this
isn't funny, okay?

I wasted a 30-mile
drive, a babysitter,

and I smeared my
best lipstick to be here.

- I'm sorry.
- My God.

Where's D'Arcy? Shit.

- I'm gonna kill her.
- God, God.

God.

You're a good dancer.

And you're skinny.

Like a cricket.

- You wanna take it upstairs?
- Why, what's upstairs?

No, no, no.

My God, braces?

Chug, chug, chug, chug!

Don't say that! That's not true!

High school party.

- How's your new boyfriend.
You get into his Pull-Ups yet?

I think that was
his first boner.

I guess that you forgot that
JT also has a son named JT?

It's not my fault that
he is a narcissist.

Wow, okay, okay.

Excuse me.

- What?
- Hey, hey, hey.

- Why?
- You guys want some?

Great. We're in
a Gen Z drug den.

- Hey, these are Sam's.
Where'd you get these?

From my pocket.

Burnout, she means
who gave them to you?

This prescription was
written after he died.

You weren't prescribed these.

I'm taking them, and if you
have a problem with that,

- I'm gonna call the cops.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What was that about?
- Let's just get out of here.

Wait. Jay?

Shit.

How are all these children
more wasted than us?

Okay, yeah, I'm going
home to snuggle my baby.

You two, you need families.

Or maybe a lawyer.

This is embarrassing. Help me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do it.

All right.

Sorry about tonight.

You're too young to know
how sorry that party really was.

- Thanks.
- Course.

Just get to bed.

Hang on, um

I know you've been going
through a hard time lately.

Whenever you're
having a rough time,

just burn some of this cedar
and pull the smoke around you.

Something my dad
taught me. It'll help.

That's weird, but okay.

Thanks, Ms. Twelve trees.

Asta, are you ready?

Asta?

Sam!

Aww.

You okay?

- Let's get out of here.
- Yeah, let's do it.

Up front, princess.
I'm not a chauffeur.

I mean... okay.

That's how we're doing it?

Yep, that's how we're doing it.

No problem.

Yes.

We're calling it a night, Doc,

but we'll be back tomorrow.

There's a dead body
out there somewhere

and we're not gonna
rest until we find it.

Except we are going to
go home and rest now.

Hey, Cletus!

Hey! Get back here, boy!

Hey! What you smell?

Cletus!

What you got, boy?

Hell. He onto something!

- He cannot go in there.
- Go on, boy!

Well, well, well.

No wonder he's losing his mind.

It's bison.

You got meat.

I like meat.

I like meat, too, you know?

I've tried rabbit.

And I tried moose once.

My uncle made them. I
ate it, but I didn't like it.

Okay, well, there's
nothing to see here.

At least I know where I can
come if I need meat, right?

Come on, here, Cletus!

And Liv.

- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.

Why are you awake?

Please don't tell me
you waited up for me.

No.

- Breakfast?
- My God, please.

Scrambled eggs, your favorite.

Wow.

This looks good.

It was a girl.

The baby was a girl.

I thought she'd be
better off without me,

but what if that's not true?

What if what if she's
supposed to be with me?

You're a mother to that child.

That bond can never be
broken. It's a mother's gift.

Wherever that child is,

you'll always be
able to sense her.

One day,

that connection will
bring you back together.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

We both have the same bag.

Um, yeah.

I was just buying a lock
for your desk drawer.

It's where Sam used to
keep all his prescription pads.

What about you?

I also have some
things to lock away.

Who even are you,
Harry Vanderspeigle?

Just a

guy.

Everybody has secrets.

Fear is such a great motivator.

It makes people lock
those secrets away.

But for every one person
locking away their secrets,

there are two more people
seeking to uncover the truth.

Scary, right?

He's disgusting.

He definitely cut the
brakes on your bike.

I need to get a closer look.

No, don't. Don't do it.

What the hell?

So I look that
alien son of a bitch

right in his jaundiced eyes
and I said in no uncertain terms,

"I'm not the one to mess with."

I said, "Boy, I don't
know where you're from"

"and I don't much
give a flying duck's fart.

"One thing's for certain,
two things for sure.

You best stay the
hell away from me."

Well, he come at me.

I kicked his alien ass all
the way to the next county.

Damn thing got away
with my horse and my hat,

but I knew he wouldn't
mess with me again.

Unbelievable.

See, this is why we
like traveling around

meeting other
alien experiencers.

Stories like that.

When we saw your videos online,

we knew we had to
come speak with you.

Where did you say you
actually saw the alien again?

Do you know where he was headed?

Well, little lady,

I've been letting this
liquor speak for me

and I think I said
too much already.

But you can read about
that in the book I'm writing.

Cool. You're writing a book.

Well, well, little lady.

What are you doing.

My God! Are you insane?

You killed him?

We're not supposed
to kill people!

Those aren't our orders!

Looks like you and I
have different orders.