All language subtitles for Hustle.S04E05.Conning.the.Artists.DVDRip.x264-skorpionEngels

Once upon a time there was
a band of valiant robbers.

You know, there's no
university of grifting.

I know.

There's no college in con.

Just learn on the job.

Exactly.

I mean, how's this,
on the job?

I mean,
we're doing nothing.

I thought we always
worked as a team.

The siamese twins of
good leadership...

Innovation and delegation.

Sometimes you gotta learn when
to stand back and let the others shine.

You know, solid leadership
is the key to success.

This one, I mean.

By the close of play today
we'll be 30 grand richer.

Albert, pro that he is,

has found us a very promising mark

in a very unpromising location.

You know, finding a great
mark, it ain't enough.

You gotta be able to play him,
tease him, mold him,

manipulate him,

maybe even throw in a
little bit of ground bait.

I think you might've dropped this.

You've got to make him think you're a
stand up sort of guy, on the one hand.

- To gain a bit of trust.
- Exactly.

Beef up the trust, ladle
on a portion of intrigue.

Because when the mark
next sees our roper,

he has to be sufficiently
curious to step over the line.

- What line?
- The line.

The line that separates civilians
from suckers, honest from dishonest.

So this stuff with the envelope,
that's bait, yeah?

That's a gravy moment.

Ah, hello again.

Would you like to join us?

There's a great big roast
turkey in the oven,

but you don't know it's there until...

Until you see the gravy bum.

You hear me?

He smells Albert's gravy
and he wants some.

Now Ash, Ash plays a commercial banker,

one who's on the hunt of a very
long and very early retirement,

whilst Albert is a market
inspector, petty official,

not adverse to the old backhanded
little bit of hankypanky.

You know,
Ash plays a great banker.

He's respectable but, you know,
a little bit dodgy,

and he tells our greedy friend
that he has...

unlimited and unhindered access
to foreign currency exchanges,

millions of them.

Dollars to pounds,
pounds to yen,

yen to euros,
that sort of thing.

And there's always some left over.

Institutional size currency
rarely exchanges exactly,

and what I've developed
is a means of removing

the surplus foreign currency in cash.

He sells me the foreign
currency at half price,

then I make the exchange
and keep the profit.

Half price?

Greed is what fuels
the currency side.

After the gravy moment
starts all his juices flowing,

then bosh, along
comes the convincer.

A nice, fat wad of
fresh grubby cash.

Then, uh, you win his confidence
by letting him swap

a few hundred pound
sterling for twice as much currency.

Critical moment here, Billy.

At this precise moment in time,
the mark is ahead.

We've given him more money
than he's given us,

which is why the roper
needs to find the right man.

Take Mr. Yakubi, for example.

He loves anything dodgy,

black market goods
exploitation, you name it.

Slippery as an eel,

which is why we'll be here,

right next door,
ready to spring into action

if they need backup.

Because once the inside man
has sufficiently whetted his appetite,

there's no way the mark
can resist being lured

into just one more trade...
The big one.

This is the moment
he's been waiting for,

because it's no longer
just a few hundred.

This time the bar's been
packed a whole lot higher.

Once he's swallowed the hook,
then we move in for the kill.

Once the money's passed,
then comes the jamaican switch.

We get the money back
we've just given him.

Make a clean getaway
and we're good to go.

At this stage, very
little can go wrong.

No good, no good.

Where's Billy?

Gone.

It's a bit early for drinks, isn't it?

- Boat drinks.
- Ah, boat drinks.

You truly know when
sipping a tall glass

at the back of a boat at
sunset that life is good.

But we're in a flat in
London and it's morning.

Congratulations, Danny. You've taken
charge of your little crew admirably.

Cheers!

Hey, I found him.

- Who?
- Our next mark.

What mark?
We haven't got a con.

The currency slide.

I scoped out a real 24-carat peach.

But we've just done the slide.

I know.

Believe me, look,
this mark's perfect.

No, no, Billy.
No, no, no.

We never do the same con twice in a row,

so we can't do
the currency slide again.

But-but why not?

Ancient grifter wisdom.

Handed down on tablets of stone.

Even when it's a sure thing?

Especially when it's a sure thing.

Twice would just
be once too many.

You said I could finger the next mark,

find him,
sauce him out, read him.

I've done it.

Look, I found him.

I said maybe.

O- only maybe.

All right, he wants to
learn about being a roper.

Ah... And you were
gonna teach him.

No... I mean,
obviously Albert would,

you know,
specifics, details.

I'd just be more like a
overall thing, you know.

What do you call it?

Like a reform teacher.

Mentor, you said.

Mentor?

Was that the word?

- I don't remember saying it.
- Look, I'm a grifter.

I know I'm not
in the same league as you guys,

but I'm hungry. I want to learn.

Come on, gang, eh?

We got the guys spirits up, yeah.
Team huddle.

Billy, looking for the
perfect mark for the slide

is not a straightforward job.

I mean, he-he has to be...

Greedy.

A gambler.

Basically dishonest.

Well, yes, yeah, yeah.

And the mark needs to be primed.

He or she needs to be hooked
with a generous convincer.

Think that'll convince him?

Billy, it's not
that we don't think you can do it.

'cause we do.

Of course we do.

It's just against the rules.

No one's doubting
your ability, Billy.

I understand.

You got rules.

I should know my place.

No, definitely not.

No, absolutely not.

No, no, no.

Well, yes and no.

What Danny is trying to say is
that even in our profession

there are always exceptions to rules.

Exactly what I was getting to.

Exactly.

So, you take Albert,
you show him your mark,

Albie gives him the big thumbs up.

Bosh.

So I'm thinking someone in imports.

Someone needing to buy,
you know, deal, whatever,

in a foreign currency,
someone who's bent,

or at least bent-ish.

And of course, someone who thinks
he's way too clever to be caught.

And I found him.

His name is edwin.

He owns a caviar shop.

Right, gentlemen.
Let me get this right.

125 grams of the uranium gold,
and a 50 grand tin of the sevruga.

Shame there's no bloody beluga left.

It's a tragedy.

I love beluga.

Sadly, there's nothing quite like it.

No. Once you've tasted
a little bit of heaven.

I know.

I blame those bloody eco
warrior bunny huggers.

Soon as they got an
eco protection order

slapped on the beluga sturgeon,

whole bloody business has dried up.

Well, not the whole trade.

I have my own private supplier.

Caviar business,
it's all about cash.

Beluga caviar,

the most expensive
fish eggs in the world.

Expensive and illegal.

The beluga sturgeon is
practically extinct and, uh,

inside this tin is the remains
of a very rare animal,

and not just its
remains, its-its eggs,

its only hope of
every breeding canned.

With the right cash edwin here can
put his hands on a never-ending supply.

You've chosen very wisely, Billy.

Thanks, Albert.

Just a pity he won't
be around to work our magic upon.

He'll be around.

We do a good job on the convincer
and we skin him alive.

No we won't, 'cause he's flying
to another country, very shortly.

He won't be here for us to cash in.

He's flying east,
2,000 miles approximately,

crossing through
four time zones ahead.

You see, he's already wearing
his twin zone watch in preparation.

His envelope,
franken logo of Maslov Air.

That's one of the few airlines
flying into Dagestan.

Buying trip.

So he's got to get his
hands on a lot of money.

You're absolutely right.

What currency do you need
to buy illegal caviar?

Rubles.

Gangs of mafia controlled
pirate fisherman organize the trade.

They like rubles.

Russian mafia?

I'll tell ya now,
we don't want any of that.

Don't worry. I don't think edwin's
involved with the mafia gang,

but he has to deal with them.

I'm afraid he's going to be leaving us
tomorrow or the next day.

Well, it's just bad luck.

Or very good luck.

He's about to leave the country.

He's desperate for currency.

Yeah, but it's too soon.

We haven't had a chance
to chuck in the convincer.

Maybe we don't need to.

So you're saying what if this
mark doesn't need convincing.

Spooky.

It's like you read my mind.

I'm saying our edwin might
already be convinced.

Indeed, a variation on the
currency slide could work,

if your mark is so
desperate for a particular

foreign currency that he
doesn't need any convincing.

Don't give me...!

Most exchanges in this country

will only let you change small amounts,

so edwin will be worried about
not getting enough rubles

and pissing off some seriously
cold blooded russian on his own turf

on the deepest darkest
fringes of the Caspian sea.

Edwin is desperate.

Desperate is good.

In a mark,
desperate is an admirable quality.

All right. Okay.

Let's say he's flying
to Dagestan in the next day or two.

He needs rubles for the buy.

Well, it's a lawless place and
those fishermen need something

they can use immediately,
something that's fireproof.

Globally, rubles are in short supply.

Russian treasury keep a tight grip.

Can we get our hands on rubles?

Oh, please.

No, I mean 30 grand's worth
in the next two hours?

I'm hurt you should even ask.

- Post.
- All right, mate.

Where have them two gone?
I just pulled their drinks.

Don't worry, edward.

We'll drink them.

Well, you'll have for them and all then.

Oh, we'll pay for 'em.

In fact, I'll pay for all the drinks.

I will buy a round.

It's nine pound 20.

Keep the change.

Keep the change.

All right, what is it?

- What?
- What?

- What are you gonna do to me?
- I'm paying ya.

I'm tipping ya.

Simple, yet rewarding transaction.

No, this is too weird.

No, I'll leave it.
It can wait with all the rest.

Eddie, Edward, Ed.

Just take the tenner.

No.

You got the wrong bloke.

No, not me.

I'm not interested.

If we do this, it ain't for bread.

It ain't even for cake.

It's purely icing.

Any grifter that is in this game purely
for his own entertainment

isn't going to be
at liberty for long.

You're right.

But I think we need
to do this for Billy.

He found us a mark with
huge potential, and what?

Now we're gonna piss on
his parade just because

of some ancient
grifter superstion?

That is the reason why we never
do the same con twice in a row.

An interesting point actually
because technically we're not.

Now, if Ash can get the rubles...

Then Billy baits him and
creates a little gravy moment.

Well, then it's totally edwin's
choice whether he bites or not.

Sorry.

I have rubles.

I need pounds of sterling.

How much can I change?

One hundred maximum.

Okay.

My boss, you know, he gives me
all of my men's wages in rubles.

It's better to send home.

But my men, they-they want
sterling money for drinking.

It's 100 maximum.

Excuse me.

Uh, I make an oath.

You know, I-I don't speak my
language in other man's country.

If I am learn English,
I speak only English.

That's very admirable.

Now, about this currency.

Oh, I love it. I love it.
Do your accent again.

You're very accomplished.

You have real talent for improvisation.
You ought to explore it, you know.

Being able to ad-lib
your way out of a tight corner...

You sure none of you lot
have seen my phone?

I don't trust you.
Especially you.

You could be cloning it or somethin'.

And I'll get a phone bill the size of...

Well, just ring it.

Ring it from the
bar phone, Eddie.

You probably put
it down somewhere.

I could've swore
I left it on the bar.

This is a trick.

This is you doing your...

Oh, Danny, give him his phone back.

Ring your bleeding phone.

Eddie, get behind the bar, ring it.

It's probably fallen down
the back or something.

- Ring it.
- It's ringing.

No answer to the phone.

So where is it?

Ignore him. All right.
He's having a senior moment.

Right, you thought
any more about

how you're gonna
choreograph the switch?

Yeah, of course.
I've got it all mapped out.

There's two cases,
identical.

One's full of rubles.

The other isn't.

The one he's carrying
he's cashed in.

We keep these tight behind
the booth nearest to the door

so I can, you know,
do the switch.

And when he comes down
the stairs at 05:00 p.m.,

and I told him to be prompt,
and we gotta make sure that he...

Edwin comes down
the stairs?

Where?

You don't mean here?

Let me get this right.

You set up the switch in our bar?

- Yeah, that's right.
- Are you out of your mind?

I'll be right over.

Lovely job.

Right. I've got to get my phone.
It's been handed in.

So, uh, you're in charge.

- Me?
- All of ya.

Anyone comes in
for a drink,

you take their money and
you put it in the till.

Take their money,
do the thing,

and put the money in the till, yeah?
Okay. Yeah. Got it.

And no helping yourself.
All right?

Definitely,
definitely not.

Of course.
Oh, no, no.

All right, man.

See you later.

All right,
what you want?

You have heard
the expression

don't poop on
your stoop, yeah?

Yeah, but I-I
thought it through.

There's more stuff that could go wrong
if we did it somewhere else.

Oh, Billy, we just don't do it.

Oh, but Stacie, come on...

Hello. Look who's here.

My first customer.

All right.
Sorry, sir.

What can I get you, boss?

What do you want?
A pint of lager?

Bitzer?

Babycham?

Pint of sake?

Who's this then?

This-this, my friend,
is a very quiet oriental man.

What do you want?
A drink?

Maybe he's a
friend of Eddie's.

You a friend of Eddie's?

Well, maybe we
should call Eddie.

He might've caught up
with his phone already.

Oh, it's ringing.

- You can hear it ringing?
- Yeah, I can hear something.

Where is it?

I knew he'd left it here.

Sorry, mate.
I just, uh, where's Eddie?

And how comes you
got Eddie's phone?

Where's Eddie?

Eddie lost his phone
and this gentleman found it.

Yeah, so what's he waiting for?

Reward.

Okay.

This time makes
time number three.

Where is Eddie?

My friend asked you a question.

Direct and polite.

Where is Eddie...

Are you looking to get
your face smashed in?

Be careful, Billy.

No, that man needs
to be careful.

You move closer,
I snap wrist.

I think first we should
find out where Eddie is.

Now you will sit.

I think it's only fair
just to let you know that

we don't keep any money
or valuables on the property.

Except, what's in the till.

And listen, you're more
than welcome to that.

But what about Eddie?

Eddie's not gonna
quiver over a few quid,

not in exchange for us
getting murdered.

I meant what-what has
he done with Eddie?

What do you
want from us?

Honor.

Honor?

I don't get it.

My father.

Do we know
your father?

I mean, do we?

Yeah, and wh-what's this
got to do with Eddie?

Uh, yeah, or us?

We don't know what
you're talking about,

and we definitely
don't know your...

Father.

Well, it's what we've always done.

I know, but it's unprofessional.

I mean, we fill a dummy briefcase

full of random piles
of snipped up newsprint.

It-it's a bit shoddy.

No, no, no.
We have experimented.

We used, uh, travel
brochures, paper towels.

We got rid of those two jeffrey archer
novels in that gig in jersey.

Well, I thought...

We should do a proper piece
of a search and development

to determine in a
jamaican switch

which is the optimum
substitute for banded cash.

Weight and rattle
obviously an issue.

It has to weigh the same,
sound right.

I like it. This is proper,
thinking ahead, tweaking a technique.

1,000 pounds in 20's

weighs exactly
53.5 grams, right?

This is the book of instant duplicate
sales and ledger invoice receipts.

It is made of paper,
it is bound,

and it weighs exactly 54 grams.

It's a beautiful thing.

I'm sorry, mate.

You're not making any sense at all.

Are you sure you got the right place?

I mean, look, that's just a book
of invoice thingamajiggys, isn't it?

Never seen it before in my life.

And none of us have ever seen or heard

of any contact with your father.

We've never met your father.
I'm sorry.

Maybe we can
do a deal.

You bring shame to my
family, to my father.

Look, mate,
he lost some money.

You really don't want
to take this stuff too seriously.

It's what we do, we
con... Shut up, Danny.

Which one did this?

Boss must eat first.

Fugu.

Fugu.

Fu who?

What exactly is it?
Sushi, is it?

I can do sushi.

A bit of raw fish, isn't it?

It's a puffer fish.

So?

Parts of the puffer fish
contain an neurotoxin

potent enough to kill a man
in less than a minute.

If it's wrongly prepared.

Wrongly cut by the chef so accidentally
the toxin has leaked into the flesh.

Or on purpose.

Stupid, isn't it?

I mean, nobody's gonna eat
sushi that's gonna kill you, are they?

In the yakuza culture it is
a supreme act of defiance

to stare death in the face.

Yes, death.

One piece touched.

You're telling me that one piece
of this fish is poisonous?

Boss will eat first.

You're saying one piece
has touched the knife.

What knife?

Fugu contains such extreme toxin

that only licensed fugu chefs
are allowed to prepare it.

Training takes ten years.

It's the liver that
contains tetrodotoxin,

a poison 1,200 times more
powerful than cyanide.

The flesh of the puffer fish
isn't poisonous.

They use two knives.

The short one for
eviscerating internal organs.

The large one for
cutting flesh.

But the short knife
has touched one piece.

Look, son, I don't
even know your name.

That's cool. No names.

We all enjoy a little
anonymity here.

I just think put it on paper,

set our position
crystal clear, okay.

We ain't gonna eat anything that could,
should, would,

or even might be a
little bit moody.

Now, I am the boss here,

and it is me who is responsible
for any shame to your father.

Albert.

He's lying.

I'm the boss.

What's going on?

These are men.

They are far, far too stupid to be boss.
I am the boss.

Like you wish.

Look at me.

Hey, kung-fu man!

Look at me.

I is the boss, yeah.

If you believe that,
mate, you're gonna believe anything.

What?

All right.

None of these is boss.

I'm the boss.

Then you eat first.

No.

I ain't gonna do it.

And you know what?

You can't make me.

Eat.

Okay, I'll eat.

I'll eat.

Don't touch Eddie, though.

All right?

Give me a piece.

Let fate decide who die.

No wait!

This isn't honor.

This isn't right.
Not-not bushido.

Boss should not go first,

not if he is truly responsible.

Yeah, that's right.

First time around should be the easiest.

Think about it.
Do the math.

Odds to kick off
are five to one.

Surely boss is better to
go third or fourth round

when the odds get shorter,
three to one, two to one, until finally.

Thanks, Ash. I'm just trying
to do the right thing here.

Odds get shorter

unless someone else gets unlucky
and they go first.

- Then all bets are off.
- Exactly.

What exactly are the odds?

Well, it's a simple matter
of ramp the escalation.

The odds shorten with all the remaing
players that are rated 20 to one.

Yeah, you know, it's a little bit like,
chase the ace, isn't it?

So when is the
safest time to go?

Well, it depends what model
you calculate your odds by.

And your position in
the pecking order.

You being a minor rank
will probably go last,

which of course,
not so great.

You get to that last point,
no one else is dead, and you...

Eat.

All right, so I get a choice, yeah?

Death by poison or,
uh, or my throat cut.

It's all right.

I'm cool.

We're cool,
aren't we, mate?

Just having a little,
uh, debate here.

You see,
I'm not convinced

eating the fish
is my best option.

I'm just thinking...
if I don't eat the fish,

will he really cut my...

- Eat.
- Yeah. Okay.

I'm eating.

I'm eating.

How long does it take if it's...

A minute or two tops.

You'll feel a tingling on your lips

if the fugu toxin is present.

So I might've just eaten
my last mouthful then.

My whole body's tingling.

Your heartbeat
will accelerate.

You'll have a
sense of nausea,

shortness of breath,
dizziness.

I got all those.

Is there any antidote?

No antitoxin.

Fugu a lesson in beauty,
pleasure, and death.

But you're not dying.

Not worthy.

Not worthy?

You next.

No, no. No, me next.

- You let me go next.
- No, it's my turn, isn't it?

Sorry, mate,
can I just confirm?

Does that mean I'm
definitely not gonna die?

I think I should go next.

I'm next in command.

Who says?

As I'm, uh, no longer in the line,

maybe I shouldn't have a
little say in this but, uh,

seems to me that, next in line
from a seniority point of view.

You eat.

Whoa, whoa. Oh, mate.

You're jumping all over
the chain of command here.

All right, I really think
it's better, all right,

you come back tomorrow when
you got a much clearer picture

of how everything's run here...

Eat.

You dishonor my father.

You bring him shame
and make him soft and weak.

I think it was your father's greed
that made him weak.

Tell me, how deep was
your father's shame?

Warrior who is disgraced
can redeem himself only one way.

Saboku.

He committed saboku?

Is that as bad
as it sounds?

A fallen warrior can still die
a hero by committing a ritual.

You have no honor.

You thieves.

You live by lies.

We do have honor.

We have a code.

Eye for an eye.

A life for a life.

Not quite so brutal, we're
a little bit more

evolved in this neck of the woods.

We do have honor.

Then show me.

Help him!

Help him, please!
Oh, god, do something!

This man is like a father to me.

This man is worth 20 men!

If he dies, mate, I swear
to god I'm gonna find you

and then I'm gonna kill ya,

and then I'll kill you again!

You heartless little shit!

No, it's all right,
Stacie.

It's all right.

He knows.

You never seen man die from fugu.

He not die like this.

Oh, give me a break.

Tetrodotoxin,
the most lethal of neurotoxin,

it works by blocking all
the channels to the brain

to produce a rapid and violent death.

See? You have no honor.

Symptoms include muscle twitching,

horrific chest pain
and respiratory distress.

You are cheat.

Yeah? What part of my death
didn't look right then, eh?

For what it's worth,
I thought it was a bloody good effort.

Thank you very much.

- Got you, didn't it?
- No.

Yes, it did.
No.

Sit down.

Bloody did.

Sit!

Now, just two fugu.

Excuse me.

You talk about honor,
what a big deal it is,

and you're about to kill
a woman and an old man.

Sorry, Albie.

I mean, please tell me,
where is the honor in that?

It is fate who decides
which one will die.

Oh, right.
So what you're telling me is

if we choose the piece of fugu,
then it's not your fault.

Bulshit!

Way to go, Stace.

Looks like you're jumping right
to the front of the fugu cue.

How could a death
bring you honor?

Blood revenge.

Eye for an eye.

So you think killing
one of us is your duty?

Well, for our team,
our family,

we honor each other in life,
not just in death.

For us, honor is about care
and protection and love, not revenge.

Let me eat both of
those, both fugi.

For me.

Let me have my honor.

No, Albie. I won't allow it. No way.

Touch the box and I call
for your friend to be hurt.

Tell me about your honor.

It was me.

I was the one who chose your father
to be the victim of our crime.

I am what we call the roper.

I calculate the risks and
suitability of the mark,

or the victim.

When I saw your father,
I- I saw not honor.

I saw greed.

I saw weakness.

I saw a big, fat pig ready
to be taken to the slaughter.

This is real smooth talking, Albie.

I chose your father.

My responsibility.

But I didn't take away his honor,

and we didn't take away his honor.

He lost his honor a
long, long time ago.

Oh. Go ahead.

Cut my throat.

Kill me. Huh?

Let me bleed to death in this chair.

My blood, is that the honor you want?

All right.
Everybody just...

All right, listen,

just ignore everything
that he just said, okay,

'cause what he meant
to say was... How much?

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Just how much to make
you go away, hey?

You offer me money
for my father's honor?

Yeah, it usually works.

Go on, go on,
name your price.

I mean, just how
precious was this honor?

I- I know where there's a lot of money.

A whole case full of money,

and it's just over there.

If you let me stand up,
yeah, I'll go and get it,

bring it back here,

I'll give it to you,

and you-you can have it.

All of it.
All our money.

I'm gonna stand up now.

Everybody's cool.

Everybody's cool.

This is a good plan.

This is a leader's plan.

Good leadership is defined by clear
decision making and direct action.

Once a man has truly accepted
his role as a leader,

once he's given himself willingly
to the office of leadership,

then, and only then

will he discover the true power
that lurks deep within.

Danny, I was so scared.

I thought you...

Oh, my hero.

Sit.

Sit!

You insult my father,
#my family.

Money cannot buy honor.

Only death.

Then kill me.

Kill me!

Who was that?

Lie down.

Lie down.

Now!

You next.

Lie down.
What's the matter?

What's happened?
Lie down.

Lie down.

You, down.

Down! Move!

Don't move, don't talk.

Anybody move, anybody
talk, your friend dies.

- You all right?
- Yeah, yeah.

Is he gone?

Yeah, I think so.

Where has he gone?

Yeah, and where's Eddie?

Come on!

Get me out of this.

Which way?

You go that way.
I'll meet you around the corner.

Hey, they're gone,
the cases.

The little bastard has
stolen the briefcases.

- He took everything.
- Oh, bloody hell.

It was you who said
we had lots of money.

Well, I stopped him
chopping Albert's bleeding head off.

Forget the money.

They've still got Eddie.

She wasn't there, and then she was.

Get an ambulance.

Put her into recovery position.
I'll get a blanket.

I need an ambulance, please.

Hey, that's him. That's the mark.

Don't let him see you.

Hey! Wait!
That's my case.

Um, what just happened?

I may be mistaken,
but I think we just got screwed.

I don't care about the money.
They've still got Eddie.

They? Who?

Who are we dealing with here?

The phone.

Eddie's phone.

Check the caller I.d.

See who just called.

No chance. It'll be without.

No, no.
There's a number. Local. What's this?

- All right, ring it.
- That's a bad idea.

What?
No. Billy's right.

What if calling the number is some sort
of signal to whoever's got Eddie?

What else are we gonna do?

I think it's a good idea, too.
I don't think we should just sit here.

That wasn't here earlier.

That's new post.

We don't get two deliveries a day.

No one gets two
deliveries a day.

Here.

No, this is
today's mail.

So earlier.

Post.

All right, mate.

Hey, where have them two gone?

I just poured
their drinks.

Someone faked being
a postman just to get Eddie's phone.

So they could get Eddie out of the bar.

Eddie, are you okay?

What happened?

What did they do to you?

Um, foot massage,

and-and that thing where
they stick needles in you,

the, um...
Acupuncture.

Yeah, that's it.

Who did?

Oh, sweet mary mother.

What? Jeez!

I've only been gone a
couple of hours and you...

Eddie, this really isn't how it looks.

- Really.
- Oh, I see. No, I get it.

So that's what the all the,

"Eddie are you all right?"
that's what all that was about,

and here's me thinking
that you actually cared.

Eddie, mate, where
have you been?

Well, I got a call from that girl

who said my phone had been
handed in at her shop.

Girl?

So when I get around there...

Hello. Uh, now, look.

Now, look, I'm still
waiting on my phone.

Listen, where's the girl
that speaks English?

No, she said - she said she'd
just gone to fetch the phone.

Where was this place, Eddie?

Castleby street.

You know, the one next to that
posh japanese restaurant.

That sounds like the
place that me and you...

Is that my phone?

What's that doing there?

Who had that?

Which bloody one of ya?

Oh, I see. You set me up
to get me out of the way,

so you get up to some
of your bloody monkey business.

Eddie, let me explain.
No!

You lot must think I'm
softer than a bunny's ass.

Well, that's it.
I'm not standing for this anymore.

Not this time.

This time none of ya are going
anywhere until this place

is put back exactly like
it was when I left.

How did we not
see that coming?

You got any idea
when he got onto us?

The photo.

That was taken
at the switch.

Yeah, but how?

I kept my eye on anyone in that club
that even smelled of a threat.

Come to think of it,
there was a little girl.

But how could she be a threat?

And what's her link to Mr. Samural?

He wasn't just onto us.

He was way ahead of us.

He knew everything.

But how, for god sake?

And how could he then
know about edwin?

Unless he was watching Billy.

No, no, no.

Look, when I met edwin,
wasn't no other guys in range.

No faces watching us,
no tell, nothing.

I don't miss stuff like that.

He even knew what we
packed in the dummy case.

It's beautiful.

Absolutely exquisite.

I have to say I love it.

I think we've
been honored.

We've witnessed a truly
great performance.

But he cheated you... Us.

He spun a beautiful web, Billy,

and we climbed right in, willingly.

Made us feel guilty.

It's like we crossed
a forbidden line,

wronged an honorable man who's only
recourse was to take his own life.

Why did he need to get
Eddie out of the way?

Leverage.

He couldn't scare us
enough with...

And he could lever us
with Eddie's kidnapping.

Smart.

Well, whoever he is,
he got moves.

Yeah, well, we might
never find out who he is.

It might be just one
of those weird unexplained things.

So we were terrorized by pieces
of fish that weren't poisonous.

So it would seem.

Something doesn't add up.

They might've
been poisonous.

No, no chance.

That's how he knew I was
acting being poisoned.

They must've been fakes.

- Come on, Danny...
- Or, you were not a very good actor.

Oh, please. Come...
I was bang on the money.

Speedy reaction, range of symptoms,
the spasms, the spittle.

Without a doubt, the second
great performance of the day.

Yeah, you're just numb 'cause
I got you good and proper with me...

No, you didn't.

"oh, this man was
like a father to me."

sorry, Danny, but, um,
how many men was I worth?

You know, there are
times when watching you two

swinging your at
each other is quite funny,

but we've just lost 45 grand

and we're still scratching our heads
trying to figure out how, and who.

He's obviously a very talented grifter.

No, no, no.
He's not a grifter.

I mean, not a grifter
as we know it.

I mean, he's way too far
out of the box for that.

The saboku thing
and the fugu thing

and the bizarre russian
roulette fish eating thing.

Yeah, wouldn't you just
love to do something like that, hey?

It's inspiring, yes.

Ooh! Makes me tingle.

Well, I'm not tingling,

but I'm gonna get to the bottom of this
if it's the last thing I do.

We need to do a surgical
postmortem on every move

we've made in
the last few days.

If we look at this long enough,
hard enough, we'll see the crack.

Okay, we start by each making
a detailed personal log.

Guys, guys.

The thing is,
and I'm not saying this is definite,

not by any stretch of the imagination,

but there was a moment.

Yeah, solid leadership
is the key to success.

By the close of play today, son,

we're gonna be 30 grand richer.

I blabbed about the con.

I botched up.
I got a big mouth.

I'm an idiot.

Yep, yep, yep.
All of these things are true.

That's why we never
do the same con twice in a row.

So it wasn't my fault.

This happened because
we broke the rules.

No.
It was your fault.

Definitely.

Without a shadow of a doubt.

He's a creepy fat minger.

Am I or am I not
a criminal genius?

Don't get any
big ideas, sis.

This is a one hit deal.
We agreed.

We got more than enough now.

I'm a genius.

I'm a genius.
So, by tricking the valiant robbers,

the clever girl
and her handsome brother

earned their freedom from the
cruel landlord who had enslaved them.

Her brother was not greedy,
sharing his treasure

with those who still worked
for the nasty man.

He had dreamt of becoming a samural
and slaying that evil master,

but the little girl
had a much better plan.

Oh, Danny, I don't know.

Maybe you'll learn something.

Maybe making a really,
really bad, costly,

expensive mistake might
actually teach you something.

Yeah, well, you know.

Guys, I should've been-
should've been watching your backs.

I should've been there
for ya, and I wasn't and, uh, I'm sorry.

Totally off the bowl,
a little bit cocky.

And complacent.

A little bit, yeah.

- And arrogant.
- Maybe.

And selfish,
conceited, slapdash,

vain, careless, pigheaded...

The brother was very
proud of his sister

and her criminal mastermind.

The little girl had many more
clever plans, but her brother said, "no.

"no more tricking valiant robbers."

instead, they would make
a new life together, an honest life,

a life where they would
never be sad again.