All language subtitles for Hustle.S04E04.A.Designers.Paradise.DVDRip.x264-skorpionEngels

No no no, I never thought
a coffin would cost so much.

No, it's that one at the back.

I mean, 200 quid for a crown?

Otherwise, hasta la vista, kneecaps.

If you need the money that bad,
I could maybe do you a favor and...

Take the dog off your hands.

I couldn't sell him.

But I do need the dough.

Well...

All right.

See you around, Monty.

You're a beauty.
Yes, you are.

No, we're quids in.

This posh bird
was in before, saying...

He's just what
I've been looking for...

Perfect for breeding.

Oh, he ain't mine.

Just watching him
for this fellow.

Well, when he
comes back in,

get him
to give me a ring.

Could be
worth his while.

How so?

I'd pay over �1000
for a dog like this.

I'll be waiting
by the phone.

And when this fellow
comes back pleading

poverty,
I'll bung him 100 quid.

And now we sell the dog on
to mrs. Big-shot breeder.

I'm ringing her now.

And they say
cheats never prosper.

Ringing.

Still ringing.

- That's the last time, Danny.
- I agree.

What do they say, Albie...

The old cons are the best cons?

The dog-in-the-bar
is practically prehistoric.

Yeah, I mean, come on.
It's beneath us, isn't it?

I thought we was
all about the long con.

We are, when we get a mark.

Well, we'd better find one soon.

900 quid...

The week's takings.

We'd better get Monty back.

Oh, Albie,
can't we keep him?

Lester's going to wonder
where he got to.

He'll be all right.
He's got hundreds of dogs.

Well, if you want someone to cuddle up
to on those long lonely nights...

I'll get a hot water bottle.

Whatever.

There you go, Monty.
Back home, safe and sound.

Always has a smile on his face
after a day with you lot.

Don't you, Monty, eh?

He made us proud.

Dog-in-the-bar!

A trick that takes him
back to the old days, eh?

It takes me back a while too.

Bomber?

Bomber, what is it?

Bomber.

No.

Bomber?

Walkies.

Just needs a bit more practice.

I thought you could
start doing "the flop"...

With the dog.

We need something
bigger than that...

A mark that inspires us.

Then hang on.

Hang on.

Here, as the nun said
to the bell ringer.

The royal canine league
charity ball.

Yeah, just the other day.

Huge event,
chock-full of London society.

�200 a ticket...

Well, for those who paid.

A worthy cause.

Yeah, the event
must have raised 50,000.

Buy a lot of dog food.

Would do.

But the canine league
received less than 10,000.

So where did the rest
of the money go?

Lady Bartwell's handbag.

Lady Bartwell?

She's the woman
who organizes the events.

Crafty.

And not the first time either.

I checked another charity
she held events for.

Big events...

Tiiny check.

Exactly. And ticket sales
aren't her only form of revenue.

370... 380?

She even persuades unwitting celebrities
to aid her causes...

500.

Sold.

...has gaming tables
where the house always wins,

sells �10 champagne for �60 a pop...

All in the name of charity,
all in cash.

That's nasty.

Why don't the charities
kick off about it?

She never stipulates
what she's going to give them.

And they have to be
grateful for anything they can get.

She sounds perfect.

So how do we get to her?

That, my dear Stacie,
is what we have to find out.

Okay, right.
Billy, listen up.

She lives in Chelsea, right?

She's got a chauffeur.
I want you to talk to him.

I want to know everything:
where she goes,

what she's doing
and who she's doing.

Before my menopause
would be nice, Derek.

Ash, I want you to get in the house,
have a little mooch about,

see how she blows this
charity money.

Ash, you're on.

Yes?

I only turned my back for a mo,
and he was gone.

Buzbee? Buzbee.

Madam, she not here.

- Did you hear that?
- Yes.

It's coming from upstairs.

No no no, the Denzi bag,
la bagga Denzi.

Yes, I know there are only six,
but I only want the one.

Yes.

No no, I will not.

Sir, I don't know whether you...

Yes.

Yes, he's...

He's definitely
in here somewhere.

Got him cornered
like the japs in '45.

Yes, but I don't think that...

Maybe you come
back another time?

Buzbee.

- What are you...?
- Come to daddy.

There we are, good boy.

Here we are.

Sir, I...

Poor thing.

Must be scared out of his wits,
bless him.

Yes, sir.

Thank you so much.

Fashion?

Fashion.

She's always first
in the season's latest designs.

But half her stuff in her
wardrobes still had the labels on.

That's because it's out of fashion by
the time she's had a chance to wear it.

Look, her driver said
she was looking all over for some...

Some bag.

Yeah, I heard her
banging on about that.

Something about there's only
- six of them or something.

Tthe Denzi bag...

Ultimate limited-edition,
five owned by private

collectors, one occasionally
lent out by the designer.

What Clarissa wants,
Clarissa usually gets.

Over to you, Albie.

She married her first husband
for his money and title,

and she changed her name from Carol
to Clarissa and thought she was set.

And a few years ago
he finally saw through her

and left,
leaving her a very generous settlement.

What, and she still
robs charities?

That's nice.

All well and good,
but what do we know about fashion?

Like I said, what
do we know about fashion?

Isn't it just a con in itself?

And one she's already fallen for.

How do we do a fashion con?

How little I've taught you.

One of the world's
most famous cons was a fashion con.

Oh, yeah.

Leg warmers.

No no.
The emperor's new clothes.

Ah, of course.

Yeah, but that...
That is just a fairy story.

But a very useful fairy tale.

So what happened?

Fairy tales passed me by
when I was a kid.

Billy, cover your eyes.

Cover your eyes.

Good. Good, yes.

No peeking,
no peeking.

Uncover your eyes.

There once was an emperor

who was so vain,
he only cared about being well-dressed.

Two swindlers heard about him

and told him that
they made the finest

clothes in the land,
and they used a fabric

that was so fine,
it was invisible to anyone...

- ... stupid?
- No, unfit for office.

Upon being shown
the nonexistent clothes,

the pompous emperor said,
"these are the most

beautiful garments
I've ever seen."

and everyone agreed,
as no one wished to appear stupid.

With the exception of one little boy...

...who suddenly
stood up and said...

He looks ridiculous.

He looks ridiculous.

He looks ridiculous.

But by then the swindlers
had taken his money

and his dignity.

Yeah, that's wonderful,
wonderful.

But before
Albert tucks us up

with a glass of milk, I'll just remind
everybody it's just a fairy tale.

No no, but what you're saying, Albert,
is it's all about the hype.

Exactly. Yes yes.

But we have to
convince Clarissa

that we have the most
fashionable commodity in the land.

And then we make her
pay for it.

Now you're talking
my language.

Billy...

I've got a job for you.

What's going on?

What's going on then?

- You all right?
- Yeah, not bad, not bad.

What's happening?

Danny, we don't even
need tea bags.

That was just
a cunning ruse on my part.

Ingenious.
Why?

Okay, I wanna sound you out.

I think Billy is ready
to play the inside on this one.

Wait wait wait.
Are you sure?

Absolutely. And he will be working
with a master, of course.

Don't know where we're going to find
one of them at such late notice.

So how'd you find me?

Asked about.
Some guys heard you were doing cons.

Couple more questions,
and here I am.

You look
all right, though.

Bit different from
the old days, but nice.

Yeah, a lot's changed
since then.

Yeah, for some of us.

Well, he has come a long way.

In a very short space of time.

And shown
he can be trusted.

But can he
think on his feet?

He has to be trusted with any
eventuality, working the inside.

He can do it.

It's just that when I heard
you was doing so well,

I thought you might like
to help out an old mate.

Well, how much are we talking about?

About 20 grand.

20 grand, yeah?

I can't get
that sort of money.

But these cons,
I mean they're big, aren't they?

Yeah, and long.

Hence the long-con part.

But you could
get the money?

So it can bankroll your crack deals
or get meth to the masses?

No way, man.

All right. Why don't we talk about it
over a drink?

Eddie's bar, maybe?

Then I can meet up
with your new mates,

fill them in on the Billy
that they don't know about.

- Listen, if you mess this up for me...
- What's wrong?

What, they don't know you used
to be a pusher then, Billy?

Come on, sit down.

What?

Sit down. Come on.

There's something we need
to talk to you about.

We want you to work
the inside on this one.

What?

Listen, we know ya,
we trust ya,

and we officially
want to make you one of us.

So how about it?

Really? Yeah?

That's cool, man.

- Right on!
- Good boy!

Good man.

Now where's my change?

Yeah, I just want
one of those Denzi bags for the missus.

No.

Yeah, it's...

It's Ritchie.

Guy Ritchie.

Yeah yeah yeah,
she'll be happy with a lend.

You know lu chol is showing
her collection tonight, don't you?

Clarissa wouldn't
miss that for the world.

I'm sorry, lucy who?

Lu chol...

The designer.

You know those black shoes
I've got with the silver heel?

Well, my dear, you may just have
qualified as the roper on this one.

Thanks, Albie.

Kate Moss?
You're kidding me.

You'd rather lend it to that pocket-sized
pinhead than to the queen of p...?

Kate Moss.
Premiere. Tonight.

Perfect.

Kate's assistant,
bodyguard. Ready?

Can't believe
all the fuss over one bag.

She seemed like a real piece.

She's more than that, Billy.

She's stealing from charity.

Yeah, but we're stealing from her.

Grifters don't steal, they con.

There's a difference.

Or is there though?

The con is an art form.

Lady Bartwell is a lowlife,
down there with people

who rob old ladies
or push drugs on kids.

Taxi.

Wish me luck, Ash.

- Best of British.
- Don't you mean Russian?

Lu, Lu...

That's not a...

Is that a Denzi bag?

I couldn't resist
when he sending it over.

Such a darling.

You know Denzi?

Little.

A little.

Oh, you haven't got a drink.

Girl!

A glass for my friend.

- I really shouldn't...
- No no, nonsense.

I'm lady Bartwell.

Sophia Petrova.

So tell me,
how come I don't know you?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

That's all right.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Nice, um...

Yes, thank you.

Haven't forgot about me,
have you, bruv?

I thought I would have
heard from you by now.

Look, I told you,
I can't get the money.

But you're working
on a con now, yeah?

Yeah, but I'm...

I'm the new kid.

Yeah? All I do is
the running about, innit?

No, I don't
believe you, bruv.

Look, I was out getting tea bags
when you cornered me.

I'm being serious.

They don't trust me
with anything decent.

So it won't be a big deal
if I tell them about you then.

You got three days.

We're based in New York...

Vlad's business, you know.

But I'll be back here
in London in the fall.

Well, you and your husband must come
to one of my little charity dos.

I too also do the charity work.

Really?

I help struggling designers.

That's how I know Lu.

Well, I'd hardly call her struggling.

Five years ago...

Stripey tights, piggy tails

in the back room in Beijing.

Lu Chol?

Piggy tails.

But I saw somethink in her work,
somethink nobody else had.

I call Vlad,
we sponsor her show...

Anonymous, of course.

Of course.

But it has its advantages.

I must go over and talk to Lu.

And so that's why you're in London...

To... To chase
the next big thing.

Could be the biggest thing yet.

All right, guys, did she go for it?

Darling, she's thinking
I was fabulous.

As well she should, my dear,
as well she should.

Ash, where do we go next?

She has tea
with an acquaintance

every thursday,
the Blenheim hotel.

Blenheim?

Blenheim...

Why's that ring a bell?

Oh, yeah.

You said you'd call.

Oh, Tina, babe,
I wanted to, honestly,

but me mum
washed me kecks

with your number in them.

You put my number in your phone.

Unbelievable.
Completely knackered it.

But granted, it has
never been whiter.

What if the manager finds out?

Aw, come on.

Didn't find out last time
we used a room, did he?

You've got until 5:00...

...then the Spanish
ambassador's checking in.

You are a little angel.

- I'm a mug.
- No.

Hello again.

Oh, how lovely.

Are you here for tea?

No, I stay here.

Well, then I would
love it if you'd join me for a drink.

I'm so sorry, I have
delivery in my suite.

Well, then I'll join you.

Perfect, yes?

You're not expecting someone?

No no.

Coo-ee, darling.

Cancer, aids,
the homeless, the starving...

I feel as if I've picked up
where Diana left off.

And you also love fashion,
like the princess.

We're two peas in a pod.

Now tell me...

You mentioned a brand new
designer when we first met.

I did?

Oh, come on now,
Sophia, don't be coy.

I'd love to know
who it is.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry, Felix, no.

It's strictly tickets-only.
I told you that.

No, I don't want you
down on your knees, at least not to beg.

Felix, I've got to go, love.

All right, keep it warm. Bye-bye.

Sophia, lovely.

Felix du bois, driving me nuts.

Vogue are desperate to get in tonight,
but you know what lorde's like.

Oh, I didn't realize
you had company.

Lady Bartwell,
this is Symon Darnell.

Oh, it's a pleasure
to meet you, Symon.

So tell me, is this lorde
your hot new thing?

I'm so sorry, Clarissa,
I really cannot say.

Is this it?

This is it.

Would you excuse me,
just for one moment?

Yes, of course.

I'll just... Wait here.

Oh, Symon, I'm so excited.

You ready to see it?

Oh, Symon, it's amazing.

It's marvelous.

Really marvelous.

Oh, the button.

The button, the details...

Please, could I try it?

Could I try it on, please?

Out by 5:00...

Spanish ambassador.

The way it just hangs there...

Oh, go on, have a touch.

Hello? Symon Darnell's phone.

Felix du Bois. Is Symon available?

No, he's not at the moment.

I will call back.

No, can I help?

Is... Is this about the Lorde show?

Yes, he assured us
it was for potential investors only.

Right.

So how is it Annie Leibovitz
has just landed at Heathrow?

Is Vanity Fair coming?

I know you think you have the hottest
thing in fashion, but I'm warning you,

it would be a mistake to snub vogue,
so get us on that list.

Right...

Yes, well, I'll have to speak to Symon.

Make it happen.

Was that meant to be French?

Classic Normandy, with a nod
to the Loire region.

With a nod to Clouseau, more like it.

Eddie, my friend,

- I need to ask a favor.
- No.

So, when will I know
exact location of the show?

Don't worry, I'll call you at 6:00.
I'll give you the password.

All right?

Big kiss for a big night.

Lovely to meet you.

You too, Symon. You too.

Well, I think I might
have another cup.

- No.
- We only want to borrow the bar.

It's not a library book.

How about we settle this
with a little bet?

No, no bets.

- I bet you 200 quid...
- You're wasting your breath.

- I can drink 3 pints...
- I don't listen.

Quicker than you can drink...

Three shots.

That's all?

They still charge you,
even if you don't eat them.

- Where?
- Left here.

Good afternoon.

Get out!

Thank you.

I just wanted
to welcome you personally

and, as acting manager,
say if there's anything

you need while you're here,
don't hesitate to call.

Come along, boys.

Chop-chop.

So I just have to drink these

quicker than you can drink those,
and I'm 200 quid up?

Spot on. But if you lose...

Yeah, I lend you the bar.

Yeah. The only rule is, we're not
allowed to touch each other's glasses.

Fair enough.

- Ready, Eddie?
- Ready.

Go.

One down, and you're not even
halfway through your first.

Bottoms up.

It's not looking
good for you, is it, mate?

I think I'll take my time,
savor the moment.

See, you always think
you're so clever, don't you...

"poor Eddie, he's a soft sort,
he's an easy target"?

But for once, I'm gonna be
the one who comes up...

What are you doing?

You can't touch
my glass, remember?

Cheers, Ed.
See you tonight.

So does this turn into
a pumpkin at midnight?

No, my dear, it turnsinto a felony.

Is she following?

Like a lamb to the slaughter.

Go on.

Have a nice night.

I'm lady Bartwell.

I'm here for the private
investors' show.

Password?

My name is my password.

No, funnily enough, it's not.

And I thought you said you were a lady.

You lost something, love?

Did, um... Did you deliver
the clothes?

Do you still think Billy's
ready to play the inside?

'Course.

Do we have doubts?

I don't know.

He just seems a bit edgy.

I have noticed he seems
a little distracted.

He's usually so confident.

He's just nervous.

It's only natural.
It's his first time.

You remember your first
time, don't you, baby?

I don't know why I try to bother
being serious with you.

There's the man.

Is that gonna be enough, yeah?

Yeah, that'll do.

Did she go for it?

Yeah, she managed to wheedle
the address out of me...

Llorde's secret location
for a 10 quid bribe.

She is cheap.

I'm surprised she didn't ask for change.

She realized there's no point
trying to get in here.

My bet is she'll head
for his studio tomorrow.

Okay, are we sorted for clothes?

Ash and I are central
st. Martin's bound tomorrow.

Great. Then we get to watch
our shiny new star...

Rise.

Get in the car and hide.

But I agreed to sponsor
the show, and now

we're making him wait for money.

It was one night
and it meant nothing.

Are you going to keep to punish me?

Just get me that money.

- Who are you?
- I'm...

I'm lady...

Lorde, what is it now?

I just wanted to...

Sorry, you remember me
from yesterday, don't you?

Yes, of course, but you
really shouldn't be here.

No one should be here.

This is my sanctuary.

Thank you, I'm dealing with it.

How did you find us?

Someone must have talked.

It was Sophia.

- Sophia?
- Yes, she...

I was meeting her for lunch,
and she told me to come here.

She told you to come here?

Was that wrong?

- I'm sorry.
- I can't believe... Idiot!

Mr. Devane will see you now.

But I think my interview's meant
to be with Lisa Coya.

Trey, yes.

Lisa will see you right after.

It's a two-part jobbie.

Come on.

- Thank you.
- Pleasure.

Link, this is Trey Farmer.

Trey, come in, come in.

Sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.

Just relax.

Trey, I want you to know
that I don't agree

with the conventiona interview.

After all, fashion isn't conventional.

Why should the interview be, hmm?

Anyway, I'm going to
give you one hour...

60 minutes...
to create the most imaginative

outfit you can out of this.

I'm sorry about all this.

Lorde's ferocious with his privacy.

I just think Sophia wanted
a second opinion.

I don't suppose there's
any chance I could have

a little look at the collection,
is there?

I'm sorry, no.

And Sophia shouldn't
have said anything.

Look, I'd love to take you
and lorde for lunch

to make up for all this nonsense.

I really think it best if you just go.

Please, just to say sorry.

Sophia's obviously
beggaring us both about today.

Well, lorde's very picky
about where he eats.

Then everyone was nuts
for testicular cancer.

What did you say this was again?

Goat.

Goat? How unusual.

So how do you help the kids?

Kids?

Kids on the street.

I did a benefit
last year for children...

Finger buffet, two Spice Girls...
Wonderful.

Lorde is driven by a sense
of social responsibility.

That's why we chose Sophia
to be our sponsor.

Her work for charity is exhaustive.

Well, yes,
I understand,

but just how much
of a social conscience

you can have with mafia money,
I'm not quite sure.

Mafia?

Well, it's not for me to say,

but I do feel
that some of Sophia's...

Connections in New York are, well,
shall we say, dubious.

We're taking mafia money?

Look, I didn't know about that.

No... I want out.

But we've already agreed.

Where's the money?

I don't know.
She's getting it, isn't she?

From where?

Gun running?

Child prostitution?

Drugs.

You didn't like any of the other
investors, remember?

You said Elton
was looking at you funny.

Well, pull the collection.

Maybe...

I could help?

So, after looking
at your charity work

and comparing your
astro-chart with lorde's,

he would like to ask you to sponsor
his first collection!

That's wonderful.

Wonderful.

And I can't believe that I finally
get to see the clothes.

Yes, okay.

Tomorrow night it is.

She's officially wetting herself.

Are the clothes all ready?

Our st. Martin's prodigy
excelled himself.

Is she really gonna
cough up 100 grand for them?

She will if we've
done our job right.

And you've met her...

Stupid and vain.

Just like the emperor.

Thank you, jackanory.

Hey, you did well today, son.

Can't possibly go wrong.

Back in a sec.
I just forgot my phone.

Oh, just as it's your round.

- Outside.
- Listen, Billy, I just...

Outside.

You're not gonna screw
this up for me, yeah?

- All right, man, cool it.
- No.

I fit in here.

This is what I do now.

I'm not gonna let you
piss all over that.

I don't want to, all right?

Then don't mess with me,
'cause I'll fight for this.

I know, all right?
I know.

Then what the hell
are you doing here?

I'm desperate, all right?

*

But I had this deal on the side.

So you were messing
with gang money?

It was supposed to be
my way out of there, innit?

Then I got screwed,
and now I owe 'em 20 grand.

Why didn't you tell me
that's what the money was for?

'cause it's just like
back in the day...

Nathan screws up,
Billy bails him out.

And now you're
threatening me.

I'm scared, bruv.

Yeah, me too.

This new crew
must really mean a lot to you.

We're tight.

A bit like
we used to be, eh?

Look...

How long you got
till you have to pay up?

Three days.

We finish our con tomorrow,

soon as my check's cleared,

I'm gonna give you my share.

You sure?

You're the man, Bruv.

You should have told me
the truth, though.

Yeah, I know.

It's not always easy
being honest, though, is it?

You ready?

Listen, stop worrying,
all right? She's prime rib.

We show her the clothes,
she hands us a check.

Va-va-voom.

It's just too...

- It just has to go right.
- It will.

Lady Bartwell.

Clarissa, I told you.

Symon, lorde, let me introduce you
to my business associate,

Reece Cummings.

Business associate?

Oh, he handles all
my financial affairs.

I never make
a move without him.

Good evening.

Clarissa, we really need to talk.

You know how private lorde is.

Oh, yes, and I'm still
really down with all that.

But if I'm going
to invest �100,000,

then I need to be
100% sure, so to speak.

Are you doubting me?

Lorde, no.

No, you won't even know
that Reece is here.

Well, absolute discretion
and control are paramount for lorde.

You know
that's how I work.

Well, that's not
how business works.

I don't want him here.

- All right, we'll just...
- I don't want him here.

- Please let...
- This ruins everything.

I'm so sorry.

- You got to calm down.
- She might be primed.

He's not.
We have to get him out.

No, then he's gonna know something's up.

He's gonna know something's up
when he sees the clothes.

No, he won't know
if we give him the pitch of our lives.

- I can't afford to lose this money.
- We won't. Billy...

One of the rules
of working the inside, yeah,

Is you gotta be cool
whatever happens.

- All right?
- Yes.

Now let's go out there
and sell 'em a dream.

Tonight we'll show you three key pieces

from lorde's premier collection...

A collection that'll
turn the fashion world on its axis.

It's time...

For a new religion!

A true religion...

Lorde!

A designer that speaks
to our souls,

Our hearts, our minds.

Celebrating the individual spirit,

unfettered, unchained,
uninhibited.

Flipping the finger at the greed
and duplicity of the modern world.

This season, don't warm
yourself by the fire.

Be the one to light it!

I don't believe it.

Neither do I.

Oh, lorde, it's...

It's...

Brilliant.

What?

It's a joke.

Oh, lorde, darling,
I love it.

It is the ultimate
fashion statement.

Don't you see that, Reece?

What I see are three sacks.

His mind is caged.

Clarissa, you know
my first rule of business:

only invest when you can
guarantee a return.

This is not a business.

This is art.

No, it's a joke.

I've seen enough.

Well, no, wait a minute,
what about that shark guy?

Who?

You know, the one that
bought the dead shark for $100,000.

Charles Saatchi.
That was completely different.

Yes, but he had the last laugh when
he sold it for 12 million, didn't he?

Clarissa, I'm not going to sanction
such a ludicrous investment.

Let's go.

Fine, go. Go.

We choose the investors,
not the other way around.

It's just lorde thought
you understood him.

He thought
you understood fashion.

I do.

But she understands
good business better.

Clarissa, let's go.

Maybe it is
too much of a risk.

I am so sorry, boys.

How about a show?

What?

A few people
from the industry.

When you hear their responses, you'll
know you're doing the right thing.

Now we don't have to jump through hoops
to prove ourselves, do we?

Symon, I like her.

I don't want Sophia,
or the other investors.

Lorde, you know we like
to keep it private.

I feel, with Clarissa
behind me,

I'm ready to show
my entire collection.

A fashion show.

There you are, Reece.
Now, will that convince you?

If the response is positive,
then, and only then, will we invest.

But it's a pretty big "if."

You see? I knew they'd
convince you in the end.

I'm not convinced.

You think I'll trust the band
of merry men they'll rustle up?

What do you mean?

I think we should send out
a few invites of our own.

Derek!

And there was me, thinking
you'd slipped into a coma.

What was he thinking?

No, I'll answer that.
He wasn't thinking.

She was out the door.

But then we should
have regrouped, all right?

We tackle it
another way.

We don't offer
a... Fashion show.

Look, it's possible.

Just a small show with
a few grifters.

No no, we're going to have to present
the complete collection.

I mean, three sacks
aren't gonna cut it, are they?

I told you, Billy, when you work
the inside, you've got to stay cool.

Danny, go easy on him.
It's his first time.

- No, it's not that.
- Well, what is it then?

Look, I...

I just didn't wanna let you guys down,
that's all.

Well, look, it's not
the ideal solution,

but we can pull it off
if we work together.

Looks like it's showtime.

Phantom, Joseph, Evita...

He wants new lighting rigs for the lot.

Yeah, but Andrew...

Sorry, Lord Lloyd Webber
won't commit till he's

seen them all in action,
so a demo will be really useful, yeah?

Mr. Coen,
Edith Scott, Daily Mail.

Mcqueen's named you the most influential
fashion lecturer in the country.

- Care to comment?
- He did?

Yeah, he did. It was bound

to happen eventually.

Care to give me a couple
of sound bites?

Now, boys and girls,
I want you to know

I don't believe
in conventional teaching methods.

I'm going to give you...

Yeah, my friends
all go for drummers.

I'm like, give me
a roadie any time.

Drummers have got
such thin sticks.

Know what I mean?

Sound check.

Testing, one, two...

So what are they like, the guys?

Do you know 'em?

Felicia, darling, you'll love it.

Right, Ash has got us a location.

We need some models.

Lose the hat, Phil.

Now the look is stylish.
All right, Mike?

You look lovely, Jess.
Settle up with you later.

Let's do it.

I know �200 sounds steep,
but it is lorde, remember.

You sure nothing
will go wrong this time?

It won't.

I promise, yeah?

'cause that's it.
After tonight I'm finished.

Welcome, welcome. Come in.

Enjoy, my friend, enjoy.

Welcome to the world of lorde.

- Have a great time.
- Richard Graydon, GQ.

Mr. Graydon.

Knowing you're taking this woman
is payment enough.

Speak of the devil.

Look at you!

Who and what...?

Symon, I've been
a bit of a naughty girl.

What do you mean?

Who are all these people?

Yeah, we invited a few
select guests of our own.

But we agreed...

Oh, Symon, they're all my friends,
and they know everything about fashion.

They're going
to love lorde.

This is way
way out of order.

No, I'll speak to lorde.

He listens to me.

Baroness...

You can't do this.

We have.

We said we'd organize
the guest list.

Oh, lorde, I'm sorry.

You've ruined everything.

Lorde, remember...

This is bad.

If you've sent out invites willy-nilly,

the major fashion houses
could infiltrate us...

Versace, Dior...

It'll all be fine.

You'll see.

Brilliant.

One fashion show, one big... Up.

Your ladyship, welcome.

Gentlemen, welcome.

Hello, everyone.

I know we're running
a teeny bit behind schedule,

but when you see
what I've got to show you,

I know you'll agree
it was beyond worth the wait.

Now, for the first time,
I give you my discovery,

the premier haute couture
collection from...

- They love it.
- What?

They love it.

I can't tell you...
They're all sitting there...

You ought to see their faces.

I'm going to be your new sponsor.

Oh, lorde, it's amazing.

I wouldn't be surprised
if they're on their feet any minute.

It's nearly time to take your bow.

- Are you ready?
- Yes.

No, I can't do this.

But you have to go out there.

My clothes speak for me.

Lorde, you must.

I can't show any more tonight.

But they'll expect to see
the designer at the end.

Or at least
a representative of the designer.

Well... You put on one
of my frocks, and you go.

What? No, I couldn't.

Could I?

You supported me.

You understood me.

I want you to have
everything you deserve.

And she's gonna get it.

This is ridiculous.

I will not stay here
and be insulted by this rubbish.

This is utter poppycock.

No one's gonna wear that.

�200 this cost.

Total garbage.

She's taken our money
and taken us for fools.

It's rubbish.

Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please.

Your hostess for the evening,
lady Clarissa Bartwell!

You look stupid!

My reputation is in tatters.

Thank god I didn't invest.

Oh, but...

You did.

You...

To us.

And here's to Lester
and Monty for the tip-off.

- Monty.
- Hello, Lester.

Hello, you lot.

I thought you ought to see this.

What's that?

She seems to have sent out
an awful lot of these.

The whole thing's busted.

Dog-in-the-bar...

The perfect plan b.

Danny, we said
no more dog-in-the-bar.

I know, but this is
dog-in-the-bar with knobs on...

...great gold
and diamond-encrusted knobs.

If you've sent out
invites willy-nilly,

the major fashion houses
could infiltrate us...

Versace, Dior...

One fashion show...
One big... Up!

Just as we planned.

Gentlemen, welcome.

How are you doing?

So, a million pounds,
and we get exclusive rights, right?

You have those?

Lady Bartwell and I
snapped up the little genius

the moment
we saw the collection.

He's an extraordinary talent.

So we have a deal, huh?

All right, we'll be
waiting by the phone.

Take it easy.

I was just being foolish.

100,000? Okay.

Look, I'm not sure, though.

Sorry?

As there are all these fashion people
here tonight...

They're not Clarissa.

They won't respect you
like she does.

They're nasty money men.

Do you have a surname,
or is it just lorde?

I tell you what:
you add 50k... I'll sign.

150,000.

Yeah. Cash.

What?

I don't like banks...

Nasty money men.

Clarissa, stall the show.

Just... Just do it!

Drive, Derek.

I know we're running
a teeny bit behind schedule...

Who'd have thought it?

Danny blue with a plan B
all of his very own.

I think it's going to be
a long time before anyone

goes to one of lady
Bartwell's events again.

You want a top-up, mate?

No, thanks.

Come on, you more than proved yourself.
We're 50 grand up 'cause of you.

You're the man
of the hour, Billy.

Yeah. Look, there's
something I want to tell you...

About me...

And what I used to do.

Did you get it?

There's 50 grand there.

What? They only
wanted 20.

It's not for them.

It's for you to get out,
start again.

Disappear, Nathan.

This is your chance.

So how'd you get all this?

I had a little help
from my friends.

Thanks, man.

Take care, yeah?

Yeah, I will.

I can't believe this.
A million pounds.

Think how many charities
you can help with that.

And who said
cheats never prosper?

Still ringing.

Still ringing.

Well, good day for you, mate:

Clarissa humiliated, and
we still walk away with 100 big ones.

In all fairness,
that money should be donated to charity.

- Hang on a sec.
- Oh, come on, Danny.

We can give half to charity.

- Half of it?
- Yeah, at least.

- You are joking, yeah?
- No.

I've never been more
serious in my life.

Come on, we agreed.

Come on, Danny.

Or we could give it to the doghouse.