Original subtitles

[intense music]

[ominous music]

[water dripping]

[suspenseful music]

[guns firing]

[cyborg] Come on, you piece of shit!

[laser firing] [people screaming]

Die!

Now everybody's dead!

[maniacal laughing]

[Moira] Step into the portal!

I've got a job for you in the past!

["Payback" by Dyke Hard]

♪ Payback!

♪ My time and my love And my hope ♪

♪ And my songs and my faith My emotions ♪

♪ Payback!

♪ My belief in myself

♪ And my self-confidence

♪ And my deeper emotions

♪ Payback!

♪ My sad, lonely efforts And strains ♪

♪ My heartache and pain

♪ Dyke Hard!

[Moira] This is the story of three friends

at the bottom of the school hierarchy.

Unexpectedly sharing their fate

with the toughest dyke in school.

[laughing]

It all started when Peggy got an idea.

Of course!

[Peggy] I know what we should do!

-Start... -A...

[the three of them] Band!

A band!

Really? You're gonna start a little baby band?

It's gonna be a cool band,

'cos I'm gonna be in it!

[Moira] Everybody was afraid of Riff,

even the bullies.

[screaming]

Born to be a rock star,

Riff needed a backup band that was easy to boss around.

They started raising money,

bought some crappy instruments, and finally Dyke Hard was born.

And before they knew it, they got their first gig.

It was just at the local youth club.

But the right people, showed up.

Texas was an agent for a major record label.

And Dyke Hard got signed!

After that, things happened pretty fast.

They recorded a single

and snuck it into all the cool parties.

Soon people couldn't get enough. "Payback" was a big hit!

And almost overnight Dyke Hard were stars!

Everybody listened to "Payback".

And wherever they went,

they were chased by devoted fans.

[crowd screaming excitedly]

♪ Payback!

♪ My time and my love And my hope ♪

♪ And my songs And my faith, my emotions ♪

[Moira] Then came the fights.

They had a hard time coming up with new material.

Sales went down...

♪ Payback!

...and Dyke Hard dropped from the charts.

They hit the rock bottom of rock.

And that's the last that was ever heard of them.

♪ Payback!

Until now...

[crowd groaning]

Thank you, thank you.

Here's a little song I wrote the other night...

while I watched your mothers get undressed.

[crowd booing] [slow guitar riffing]

Boo!

[Riff] Yeah!

♪ I have written my own song -Shut up!

♪ Everybody, come on Sing along ♪

[glass shattering] [crowd booing]

-You suck! -Boo!

Who the hell threw that?

Well, fuck you, too!

[Riff] Come on!

I'm too big for this place anyway!

[suspenseful piano music] [Moira] Hmh.

[sighing]

Rough night, huh?

[Riff] Yeah, tell me about it.

[Buck] Oh, here's something to cheer you up.

Thanks, Buck. You're a real doll.

Don't worry, it's on the house.

[Buck] If you think you had it bad,

I've slept with every man in this bar.

I mean look at them!

Thor's such a bore,

Gary, he's too hairy and Amid is just a kid.

I'm tired of meeting men in bars.

I'd like to meet men behind bars.

[MC] And now what you've all have been waiting for.

Our very own Buck Blossom!

[crowd cheering and applauding]

Huh? Oh, that's me!

He's a real veterinarian and specializes in bears!

[crowd whooping and whistling]

I guess that's my cue.

Gotta run, dolls. See ya later!

[upbeat dance music]

♪ Gimme good times, baby!

[MC] He also makes house calls.

Here!

[MC] He's got a PhD in Big and Hairy.

[someone in the crowd] Come on!

[crowd cheering]

Come to Daddy!

[MC] You've got a problem, he's got the cure!

For sure!

But no bare back, only bear back!

[Lola] Hey! Oh, hey!

Oh! I think you guys were great!

I've loved "Payback" since the first time I heard it.

Thank you!

I mean, "Payback", I mean, I guess

-it's our only hit single. [scoffing]

But if we don't come up with something new that's good,

'cos otherwise we'll be has-beens. [chuckles]

[someone in the bar] You already are!

[Lola] Maybe you should start your second song

with only drums.

Who asked your opinion anyway?

You're not even in the band!

Hey, I'm just trying to help! I'm a big fan of yours!

Scram!

[Lola gasps]

[whistles] [clears throat]

[Riff] Stay!

[sighing]

What?

[Scotty] "Pay the parking fee before Wednesday or else!"

Wednesday! That's tomorrow!

Damn!

[Peggy] Let's go see Texas.

Yeah, come on!

[Peggy] Being our manager and all,

Texas has to help us.

[kissing]

Hey, Texas!

Did we get any money from our last gig?

[Texas] Are you kidding?

You're a bunch of good-for-nothing losers!

And I've been wasting my time on you!

[sighing]

I've got bigger fish to fry!

Breakaway pop hits, reality TV stars...

You know, real talent!

So get out of my face before I throw you out!

It's over!

[hisses]

Oh, it's such a shitty business. You have no idea!

Hey, I'm back! I got pizza!

[Riff] Tex is right.

You guys are a bunch of losers.

Peggy, I'm so sick and tired of your whining.

And Bandito,

you're not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.

And Scotty, you're such a nutty nerd.

I can't believe I've stayed with you guys for so long.

I'm going solo!

[Bandito] Wait! Wait a minute, Riff,

we can change! Riff!

[slow sensual music]

[Bandito] Without Riff we're doomed.

How can someone just leave like that?

I'm glad Riff quit.

Can't you see we've been oppressed?

[Bandito] What? -Come on!

Now we can finally play the music we like

without getting beaten up. [Scotty clears throat]

With no one to scare away our fans,

we might even get laid!

[sighing]

I guess you're right.

It is awful how Riff treated that Lola.

But we're going to be nice to each other and to everybody.

[passionate moaning]

[yawning]

-I'm beat. Let's go to bed. -Yeah.

Scotty!

[clears throat]

[heavy breathing]

Oh, pathetic...

[liquid splashing]

[humming]

[giggling]

[fire whooshing]

[fire crackling]

[birds tweeting]

[snoring]

Note to self:

Do not repeat

utilization of this vehicle for energy recovery.

We must get our caravan unbarred before tonight!

Good morning!

Hey!

[grunts]

What happened to our mobile home?

[screaming] Ah, Dios mío!My dresses!

Spontaneous combustion!

I never thought I'd witness it in my lifetime!

[gasping]

My Snaggletooth!

Without my action figures my retirement funds are...

insufficient!

But the note said Wednesday!

Well, I thought that meant tonight.

Well, I guess today is also technically Wednesday.

But I don't think the landlord could've done this.

We must report this to the authorities.

They will investigate the matter professionally.

Yeah, we should call the cops, but can we have breakfast first?

Cos I'm starving!

Come on, guys!

No, don't eat me!

I'm just a little bun!

[piano music]

-I will call the police now. -OK.

[Bandito] What's the matter? Don't you like buns?

[Peggy] Hey, what's this?

TV is having a battle of the bands!

The winner gets a contract with Wolf Records!

[Bandito] Let me see! Let me see!

[gasping]

And 10,000 dollars! Come on!

Better hurry, it's only three days away!

Can we please use your phone?

Get back!

[Peggy] What the heck?

I'd like to make an application.

It's Dyke Hard.

[whooshing and banging]

Dyke Hard!

-Woo-hoo! -Yeah!

[camera clicking]

[chuckling maliciously]

[suspenseful piano music]

It begins.

[upbeat pop music]

♪ Our love sets me free

Oh my God! We're gonna be on TV!

But what are we gonna wear? Do I look OK?

[Scotty] Bandito,

kindly focus your attention on the road ahead, please!

What did you say?

[body thumping]

[tires screeching] [women gasping]

[Peggy] Jesus Christ! -Shit!

[solemn guitar music]

[mumbled voices]

Can you hear me?

[Moira] Dawn was a Thai boxer

on the way to a martial arts tournament

that was being held the same day

as The Battle of the Bands in the big city.

Luckily Dawn wasn't too badly hurt by the accident,

but was offered a seat in the car for compensation.

So you're going to the big city, too.

We'll give you a ride! Please, don't sue us!

You wouldn't get anything.

We're broke.

[upbeat guitar music]

[Bandito] And then we used to dress up

and play pirates on the porch!

That was my favorite game until I was like 13.

I like games, too.

When I was little,

my master used to shoot arrows at me with a bow.

OK.

[grunting]

Huh?

Prison guard?

Yeah!

Wow!

I want that job.

Yeah!

[water splashing]

[growling]

[whistling]

[humming]

[groans]

[grunting]

[horn honking]

[person in car] Get back to the 80's, you freak!

[sighing]

[gentle music]

Fuck!

[tires screeching]

Huh?

[Moira] Need a ride? -Wow! Yeah!

Where to?

-Any place but this dump. [Moira chuckling]

-I think I can manage that. -Cool!

-Get in! -All right!

[tires screeching] [Riff whooping]

[Moira] I've got a terribly long road ahead of me.

Perhaps hearing your story will make it shorter.

What's eating you?

It's my band. I broke up with them.

'Cos they're a bunch of losers.

And now I'm all alone.

[Moira laughing]

Oh, that must feel terrible.

[Scoffing] No, I'm better off without that dead weight.

But there's a big battle of the bands

in the big city on Saturday,

and I can't be in it.

Why?

Because of some stupid contract with our record label.

That sucks! 'Cos I know,

without those morons I could be going places.

Well, despite having just met you,

I'd be delighted to help.

Help me? Why? You don't even know me.

And besides, why would anyone help anyone?

You see, I'm an entrepreneur.

I started with two empty hands, and now...

[tires screeching]

[Riff] Wow! [Moira] Voilà!

-Wow! -You see,

you remind me of myself.

Many years ago I was young, misunderstood...

The whole world was against me.

But then when things couldn't get any worse,

a stranger appeared came out of nowhere

and gave me a fresh start.

I never got to thank that stranger.

So I'd like to repay the favor to you.

Wow, that's awfully generous of you, Miss...

Moira.

Just call me Moira. Now come on inside.

I'll show you what I can do for you.

Great.

[Moira] I never got any help from anyone.

And neither will you, my "friend".

[suspenseful piano music] -Wow.

[reveille horn music]

-Knock knock! -Who's there?

[Buck chuckling]

-Boo! -Boo who?

Don't cry, I'll take the job.

[laughing]

Very funny.

So, big boy, you like to play games?

[assertively] Uh-uh.

But can you handle a few bad men?

Let's see if they can handle me. You see, I'm pretty bad myself.

[warden] Hmh...

See what I mean?

[approvingly] Mm. Well, all right!

-When can you start? -Right away, Master!

[chuckling]

Show me your ass.

-My ass? -Yeah.

All right, I'll show you my ass.

[loud stamping]

Now you're mine!

[soft music]

[Moira] I can make you a star.

I don't doubt it.

You have way better taste than my previous manager, Texas.

But how are we gonna get rid of Dyke Hard before Saturday?

By "get rid of", what exactly do you mean?

I mean murder! [slaps]

Kill! [sword slashes]

Assassinate. [rope tightens]

Exterminate. [gun firing]

[in agreement] Mm. -With Dyke Hard out of the way,

I would be able to show my own true solo talent

at The Battle of the Bands!

You are driven, aren't you?

And I appreciate that tenacity and rugged determinism.

But we must make sure

none of this can be traced back to you.

You see, murder

would be a terrible blight on your career.

But with a clean past you could go from rock star

to movie star,

to business tycoon,

governor or even president!

Oh... Yeah, I knew that.

If we only had a plan.

[Moira laughing evilly]

[all laughing evilly]

Yes.

[Riff] What? [hydraulics hissing]

[Riff] Invisible door! [Moira humming]

[Riff] Awesome!

[horn honks]

Fill 'er up!

-And now for snacks! -Yeah!

I will locate and utilize the restroom facilities.

[Peggy] Are you coming, Dawn? -I'll stay here and contemplate.

What's Dawn contemplating?

I've perceived no indication of any particular subject.

-No, no. -No?

As a footnote, however,

I've read that when performing oral sex

one should write the alphabet with one's tongue...

until climax is achieved.

Usually around the letter K.

Hm, how?

[bell dings] [gas station worker] Welcome!

-How may I help you? -Do you sell tacos here?

-Certainly, Miss. -And what about clams?

I'm afraid not,

but there's a fish market a few miles up the road.

And do you have any... rugs?

[Scotty] "Insert hand".

[lighthearted bright music] ♪ La, la, la, lesbian

♪ Lesbian girl [Scotty moaning]

♪ You make me feel So transsexual ♪

Mhm... Maybe you could give me a call someday

and we could talk some more about your... work.

-Thank you, come again! -I think I will... come again.

♪ You make me feel So transsexual ♪

♪ You make me feel So ladylike ♪

♪ You turn me into a dyke

[electronic warbling]

[bell rings] Wow! What's all this?

[chuckles]

Well, it's a precaution really.

To keep track of jealous people's pathetic attempts

to stand in my way.

It's like playing detective.

It's like... a hobby of mine.

But come over here, take a look at this!

[Riff gasping]

[machine] The target Dyke Hard located.

[Riff] Wow!

Can you monitor anyone with these?

-Sure. -Aha!

[Moira grunting]

[Riff] Cool...

So you've got like a whole private army

with roller skaters, wrestlers, ninjas...

Well, yes, I do have all those things...

but I've found that the cleanest, most reliable way

to get things done

is to do them... yourself.

-You mean you're gonna do it? -No, I mean you're gonna do it.

That way no one can turn on you in court

or sell you out to the press.

In fact, I think your boundless enthusiasm

will make sure that we have a perfect execution.

[Moira laughing] [Riff gasps]

[Riff] Uh-huh.

Ta da!

[Riff gasps]

Great plan!

Oh, sorry.

[Peggy] My God!

Would you look at Dawn's action movie routine!

Those toned arms, that muscular back,

defined six pack...

determined chin.

What a poser!

[chuckles]

Wow! I never realized that Dawn was that hot! Yeah!

[lighthearted instrumental music]

[Riff] There! [chuckles] They won't know what hit 'em!

[ping] [Riff laughs]

[loud crash] [tires screeching]

[car sputtering]

[Bandito] Bam! Just like that! In the middle of nowhere.

[Bandito gasps]

Hum... I hope this car's equipped

with a spare tire suitable for the season.

[wolf howling] [ominous organ music]

Look!

I'll go ask for help.

Maybe they can lend us a spare tire.

That house looks like a total ghost house.

I wouldn't set my foot in it for a million dollars.

Dawn has been absent for about 8 minutes and 43 seconds.

I see it as my duty to check out the status of the expedition.

[ominous music] [Bandito panicking]

Scotty! Wait! Can I come with you?

-Scotty! -Bandito!

We're staying here! Bandito!

[ominous music]

[thunder clapping] [creepy laughter]

Hello?

Anybody... home?

[Bandito] Dawn? Dawn?

Ah! Look!

Footsteps!

This way!

[all screaming]

[Dawn] What's going on here? [Bandito] Dawn!

-Thank God you're all right! [Scotty] I see you are well!

We just witnessed

an intriguing phenomenon.

[Dawn] You're just imagining things! [ominous growling]

No! They were right here!

I've checked all the floors.

There's nothing to be afraid of. [ominous growling]

This place has been abandoned for a long time.

Maybe we should spend a night here.

Over my dead body! [creepy groaning]

Come on, Pegs, you know we can't afford a motel room!

[Dawn] We'll need... fire wood, blankets, tools...

And a spare tire would be great.

Let's split up and see what we can find. OK?

[distant screaming]

[piano notes]

Scotty, we need to find blankets and wood now!

You can play the piano later.

[slow piano music]

[ghostly wailing and whispering]

[Scotty gasping]

[nervously humming]

[ghostly breathing]

[ghost] Come to me!

Come to me! [Scotty hypnotically hums]

Come to me!

[softly] Hi.

What a dump!

[Bandito whistling nonchalantly]

[humming a trumpet]

Yeah!

Getting warmer!

Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

My own tool belt!

[gasps]

Cool!

Hot!

[Bandito] Ow! [hissing]

Ow! Ow! That's too hot!

Ow!

What?

[tire growling] [Bandito screaming]

[Scotty groaning]

[low hum]

[undoing the zipper] [ghostly laughing]

[ghostly laughing] [belt unbuckling]

[scared whimpering]

[moaning]

[Scotty moans]

[gasps]

[moaning]

[Peggy] Oh... shiny.

No one will notice.

[ghost groaning] [chandelier twinkling]

[jingling necklace] Hum...

[inquisitively] Huh?

[gasps]

A regular job?

[Peggy screaming]

[creepy laughing]

♪ La, la, la Lesbian ♪

Yes! Um... [Scotty moaning]

[squishing]

[ghost moaning] [Scotty groaning]

[creaking]

[slurping] [ghost excitable]

♪ Lesbian girl

[ghost moaning]

[Scotty] You naughty, naughty ghost!

[both moaning]

[climax panting] [fireworks exploding]

I guess someone's been here.

Well, they're not here now.

[ghostly growling] [Dawn grunting]

I need to find the others.

[ghost moaning]

Holy moly!

Thank you!

[ghost sighs]

[ghostly giggling]

[Peggy] Ah!

Dawn, do I look like someone

who'll end up working in a regular job?

-No! -Forever?

You look like a talented musician

with a flawless complexion.

But where are the others?

Dawn! Peggy! This place is haunted for real!

OK, group, it's just a few hours until dawn.

[Bandito scatting] Da-da-da-da-Dawn.

[Dawn] Huh. [Bandito] Oh!

[Dawn] Let's stick together and wait this one out.

[Scotty grunts]

Firewood.

[wood breaks]

[fire whooshing] [all gasping]

[ghostly laughing]

[all screaming]

My master taught me some protective spells.

[ominous piano music] [Dawn chanting]

[ghostly whistling]

You did it!

[wind whooshing]

[sniffs]

-Oh, stand back, evil temptress! -Who are you talking to?

[echoey drone]

Well, well, well, so...

[all gasping]

You think you can outsmart me!

[ghostly laughing] Ha, ha, ha!

We'll see about that!

Tell me: what do you think about my twins?

[eerie fairground music]

[Bandito screaming]

Just stay in the circle!

♪ My name is Morgana

♪ I'm wet as a lake

♪ I'll make you go banana

♪ When you eat my juicy cake

♪ I have two little helpers

♪ They don't bark But they bite ♪

♪ And if they lose Their tempers ♪

♪ You won't survive this night

♪ When I was still alive

♪ I stayed away From fornication ♪

♪ I believed what I was told About hell and all that ♪

♪ But when I was 42

♪ I finally saw the light

♪ Someone managed To seduce me ♪

♪ And it opened up my eyes

♪ But too late

♪ It was too late now

♪ Too late

♪ It was much too late

♪ The day after My sexual awakening ♪

♪ In the evening

♪ I slipped upon a cowpat

♪ And I fell into a well

♪ I hit my head I ended up dead ♪

♪ And I yelled to the Reaper

♪ "Don't take me just yet."

♪ But he wouldn't listen

♪ And I sank down To the bottom ♪

♪ But I wasn't done

♪ With carnal pleasures yet

♪ I rejected the pearly gates

♪ For a pair of tits

♪ I was distracted from The path of light ♪

♪ Now I linger In limbo's night ♪

♪ Forever fretting My wasted life ♪

♪ Forever cursing Religious lies ♪

♪ My fury is as great As my sexual... ♪

I'm scared!

♪ ...frustration! [all screaming]

[ghost] You haven't seen the last of me yet.

[police sirens]

[knocking on door] This is the police!

-We have surrounded the house! [Bandito] Uh? Hey!

Wake up, Scotty!

[police] You have 10 seconds to come out!

-Put your hands on your head! -What's going on?

[police] Ten, nine, eight...

[mysterious music]

...seven, six...

[police counting down] -Psst! Whose guitar is this?

Please refrain from exploring unidentified objects.

[Bandito] Yoink!

Oh!

Guys!

[all screaming]

-Who's that? -A corpse!

[Scotty gasps]

I've never seen you before.

[door breaking]

[officer 1] Freeze! [officer 2] Put your hands up!

[officer 1] Put your hands up!

[Dawn] There's a misunderstanding!

We've never seen this person before!

Save your explanation for the judges.

Will we not be read our rights?

I'm led to believe that this is the correct procedure! Ow!

That only happens in movies!

Now move it!

Come on!

On the trailer! Let's go!

[officer 1] You ain't so tough now, are you?

-Is this yours? [Bandito] Yeah!

[guitar music]

Ouch.

[Peggy] Where did you get that guitar?

I found it!

You always wanted to play guitar instead of bass, right?

-It's yours. -Well, it is pretty glamorous.

[flies buzzing]

[officer 2] How long has the subject been dead?

Oh my God, what a smell!

Easy!

[officer 1 grunts] [officer 2] That's right!

-You drive. -Yeah.

[officer 3] I'll keep an eye on the prisoners.

[officer 1] I'm gonna drive the car!

Roger!

[car starting]

The trap has sprung!

The sword of Damocles has finally fallen!

Oh, how I've waited so long for this moment!

Dyke Hard are mine! Mine! [raspy laughing]

[woman matter-of-factly] You could always use a strap-on

if you're feeling insufficient.

Yeah, true.

Size doesn't really matter. It's what you do with it.

Yeah, I guess you're right, but I often feel like--

I think it's time for coffee now.

-OK. -Let's go.

Yeah.

[janitor humming]

[Riff's voice] Fools! Bigger is always better!

[grunting] [ominous music]

And soon I'm going to be the biggest of them all!

[Moira] Using science,

Riff was transformed into a deceased dead person.

Framing the band for murder!

[Riff laughs manically]

They'd survived the terrors of the night.

But now they faced a whole new horror.

On Death Row.

[intense music]

-Come on, come on. -I'll make you my bitch in here.

[prisoner] Smoke up.

[crowd chattering] [prisoner spitting]

[prisoner lewdly laughing]

[prisoner] The warden is coming!

Everybody get up! The warden is coming!

[hard rock music] [whip cracking]

[warden] Attention! [all] Huh.

-Who's coming? -I'm coming!

[screaming] No!

-Put that one in The Hole! -Help! Let me go!

Help!

Today we've received some new playmates.

No, I mean inmates.

Bah!

[laughing maniacally]

[mumbling]

Welcome to my prison!

[warden moaning]

-Oh! [warden] what have we here?

[laughing]

Win! Win! Win! [laughing]

Ah! [lewdly laughing]

[Dawn] Why you... -No, no. Shh!

She's not worth it.

[warden] The rules are simple.

All misbehavior will be punished

according to my inspiration!

[laughing evilly]

[dramatic music]

♪ Jailbirds of all genders

♪ Dwell in my cells

♪ Some try to cast a spell

♪ But sorry That won't help! ♪

[rhythmic marching] [upbeat music]

♪ You're in My private collection of thugs ♪

♪ Before you know it

♪ You'll be pissing in mugs

♪ If you just want a hug

♪ You're welcome in my office

♪ And while going at it

♪ You should also eat my rug

♪ I am role modeling For you all ♪

♪ I am your big mama here And I'm tall ♪

♪ Obedience takes time

♪ And that I sure have plenty

♪ If you got sentenced Ten years ♪

♪ I think I give you 20

♪ Now give me some Jailhouse rock!

[jailhouse blues rhythm]

♪ Behind bars That's where you're at ♪

♪ Ball and chain You can't argue with that ♪

♪ Whatever you do

♪ Don't mess with Cellblock H

♪ They're gonna lock you up

♪ In a special cage

♪ You walk the straight And narrow ♪

♪ Under my protective wing

[jailhouse rock]

[ripping]

♪ You can't escape There's no such thing ♪

♪ And when I tell you so

♪ You have got to sing

♪ I am the prison warden

♪ I tend my savage garden

♪ Paint my picture Write my memoirs ♪

♪ Pose for my camera Light my cigar ♪

[all gasping] [cage door slamming]

♪ La, la la...

[warden laughing] ♪ La, la, la

[cage door slamming]

[Bandito grunting]

Don't worry, guys, we're innocent.

We'll be all right.

Didn't you see the other prisoners, man?

They'll eat us alive!

The noble art... of Muay Thai...

will keep us safe in this hell hole.

I'll teach you.

You've got to be kidding.

[Bandito] Ha-ya! [Scotty humming]

Now drop and give me twenty!

[Bandito] Okey! [Scotty] Hai!

Now drop.

[intense electronic music]

[blows landing]

[Buck] "Get a haircut," that's what Mama always said.

Oh, I love you, Mama.

[scissors snipping] [laughing]

Yeah.

Voilà!

Not bad.

[grunting]

Are you ready?

-I'm gonna show you around. [Buck] Great.

Make sure those pants are on tight!

-Oh! [Gita] Let's go!

[toy squeaking] [giggling]

How long have you been here, Gita?

All my life. Born and raised.

So this is the prison gym.

-Hey, Gita, who's the puppy? -Shut up!

[gasping]

[Buck moans]

[Gita] You seen enough? Come on! -Uh, no.

[Gita] So this is where the prisoners shower.

Not much to see here.

Do you mind if I give them some correctional aid?

Hey, handsome, you missed a spot.

[sensual hip hop music]

Come on!

Well, my work is done here.

[woman prisoner laughing]

Here we keep the prisoners awaiting trial.

We got a real nasty group in there right now.

-Killed an old innocent man. -Really? How?

With their bare hands.

[gasping]

Take a good look at those freaks.

[snoring]

[gasps]

Hey, what's up?

All right, all right. I'm new here.

[popping mouth]

[humming absentmindedly]

-Dyke Hard! [all] Buck Blossom!

You've gotta help us out of here.

We're innocent!

[Buck] Hm...

-I'll see what I can do. -Hey! Don't get too friendly!

Those bastards are gonna fry soon.

See you later.

There must be big bribes involved.

Because this state usually don't have death penalty.

[chuckling]

[dramatic music]

[Buck] What's this?

[growling]

That's the solitary ward.

-You don't want to go in there. -Why?

There's only one prisoner who's been there for 7 years.

They call it "The Beast".

It was more animal than man, and the zoo couldn't keep it.

I have to see it!

-Can I go in? -Whatever rocks your boat.

[dramatic ominous music]

[Buck sniffs] [The Beast growls]

[Buck] Oh... I smell bad man.

Oh my!

[breathing heavy]

[sensual music]

[Buck] I've been waiting for you all my life.

Big, big bad beast.

♪ I've been looking I've been searching ♪

♪ For a man to love

♪ I've searched across The seven seas ♪

♪ And I've cruised down Every pub ♪

♪ But for every man I've been with ♪

♪ For every single kiss

♪ I've realized There are some things ♪

♪ In my heart That I still miss ♪

♪ My heart's a lock And there's no key ♪

♪ I've been wondering What is Wrong with me ♪

[high pitched]

♪ But suddenly To my big surprise ♪

♪ He's there catching me

♪ With them brown eyes

♪ He can top me, I can tell

♪ I receive him in my well

♪ My days of dominating guys Are through ♪

Yeah!

♪ And now all I want to do Is be with you ♪

♪ Submission Is the greatest gift ♪

♪ And all that

♪ But without your domination

♪ My submission Falls down flat ♪

[driving rock music]

♪ Leather, latex Drugs and ropes ♪

♪ Whips and clips And smelly dopes ♪

♪ Leather, latex Drugs and ropes ♪

♪ Whips and clips And smelly dopes ♪

♪ We are gonna have So much fun together ♪

♪ We're gonna share our love

♪ And all our lust forever

[electronic-country music]

♪ We can live together On the North Pole ♪

♪ In the middle of the country Or a deep, dark hole ♪

♪ I'll be your bitch And drive you mad ♪

♪ You'll be my man and spank me When I'm bad ♪

♪ Leather, latex Drugs and ropes ♪

♪ Whips and clips And smelly dopes ♪

♪ Leather, latex Drugs and ropes ♪

♪ Whips and clips And smelly dopes... ♪

♪ Submission Is the greatest gift ♪

♪ And all that

♪ But without your domination

♪ My submission Falls down flat ♪

♪ Sometimes We will go out and... ♪

♪ We're gonna play around With others ♪

♪ You and me we will always be

♪ Returning to each other's...

♪ Sometimes We will go out and... ♪

♪ We're gonna play around With others ♪

♪ You and me we will always be

♪ Returning to Each other's arms ♪

[music fades out]

[end of the song]

Hey, wake up! Time for lunch!

Oh yeah, sure! I'm coming.

The lunch break is short as it is!

[gasping]

[bell dinging]

I'm gonna get you out of this cage.

[Buck] Woo! Ah! [upbeat music]

[growls]

[Buck] Break those chains, baby!

Yeah, come on, come on!

[breathing heavy]

Ow! [laughing]

[music comes to an abrupt stop]

[groaning] [chains rattling]

Yeah!

[metal creaking]

[prisoners talking quietly]

The Beast! The Beast is loose!

[slide whistle]

[funny music]

[Buck screams]

Ah!

[all screaming]

[growling]

[all screaming]

[Buck] In case of riot,

this prison has a complicated system of sedative gas

but I brought my own recipe of seductive gas.

[cackles] [funny music]

[prisoners screaming] [The Beast growling]

-Oh! -Go away! Go away!

[humming]

[sirens wailing] [gasps]

Goddamn it! Who let The Beast out?

[groaning]

[prisoner] This is Armageddon! Judgment Day!

Shut up, you fucking freak!

[gasping]

[The Beast growls] -No, no.

[abrupt change to gentle music] [kissing noisily]

[funny music]

Lift me up!

[warden] Order! Order!

I'm gonna set an example!

[screaming]

[squelching]

Did you see?

[laughing]

I quit!

[screaming]

[chainsaw whirring] [laughing]

Release the gas!

[sputtering]

Gas released.

[all groaning]

[warden] Finally!

You! You! Obscene behavior!

Oh, my God!

Uh? [sensual music]

I've got it! I'm horny!

[upbeat dance music]

[moaning]

Take me! Take me to heaven!

[Buck] Oh, how I've longed for this beast.

Uh?

Please don't stop.

I know you'd go for anything, but safe sex, that's my style.

[grunting]

[Buck] Wow, wow, wow!

[electricity crackling]

[Buck moaning]

[Buck howls]

[muffled dance music]

[upbeat dance music]

Listen up, jailbirds!

Why don't you hump that wall! [laughing]

I can't wait to see this!

[Buck] Hump! [all grunting] Hump!

Hump!

Hump! [all grunting]

Hump! [all grunting]

Hump! [all grunting]

Oh, my God!

They're gonna hump the walls apart!

[all grunting] Hump! Hump!

Moira, we've got a problem!

[walls pounding]

[upbeat dance music] [all yelling excitedly]

[Buck] Dykes! Dykes!

There's been a big riot in prison!

I've got to get you out of here, huh!

[Bandito] Oh!

[Peggy] You're a sweetheart, Buck!

Oh, yeah, you're gonna get us out of here, man!

[Bandito] Oh, thank you! -We don't have time for this.

Run! Run for your lives!

Yeah, is this the police?

I want to report a prison break.

Who am I?

I'm just a concerned citizen.

[prisoners cheering]

Where's... Scotty?

[Bandito] Scotty?

[prisoners moaning]

[Bandito] Scotty? [Dawn] Scotty, we've got to go!

[Scotty] No!

No!

[sputtering]

Jessica!

It's Jennifer.

It's ruined. My plan is ruined.

[Moira groans]

You own half the city.

You got the Nobel Peace Prize

and Queen Elizabeth clearly has the hots for you.

Can't you just forget about them

and go on with your fabulous life?

But Jessica, don't you understand?

It's always been about this, about getting back at...

But perhaps...

Perhaps it's not over.

I've been trying to send them to hell.

Let's see how they fare in... heaven.

[pushing the button] Pamela?

Yes?

I need you to contact an old friend of mine.

[chuckling]

[slow guitar music]

[all breathing hard]

Wait!

I think we lost them.

[sirens wailing] -Hey guys!

What?

It's the senior citizen's killers.

[Riff] Go and get them!

You two! Cover that area!

[upbeat rock music]

[tires screeching]

[Peggy] The fuzz!

[guns cocking] Freeze!

Yeah!

Evidence... of rock'n'roll.

Woo-hoo!

[sirens wailing]

[tires peeling out]

[Dawn] We've got to split up! It'll confuse them!

It's our only chance!

[Bandito] Okay!

[sirens wailing]

Shh!

Where did they go?

I don't know!

But wherever they are,

-we're gonna find 'em. -Yeah.

[Scotty] Silence.

[officer 1] Look, the redhead and the athlete, too!

[groans]

[officer 1] Darling, are you OK? [officer 2] Yeah. Let's get 'em.

[old lady] Remember when we were younger?

-We were much faster. -I'd say.

[groaning]

Do you see anything?

[gasping]

They're getting away!

What are you waiting for? Come on!

-Your gun, sugar. -Thanks, darling.

[sirens wailing]

We'll see about that.

[tires screeching]

[Dawn] Peggy! Watch out!

Peggy! Jump!

[bullet ricocheting]

[Peggy] Thanks.

I think we're safe now.

[sighing]

[cars droning] [gasps]

Do you hear that? It's the highway.

They got away.

Don't bet on it.

[Dawn] You okay, Peggy?

[Dawn] Hey, isn't that Bandito and Scotty?

[Peggy] I think so. -Come on!

[Scotty] Kindly mount the motorized vehicles.

-What? -Do you know these guys?

Just get on the bike, Dyke!

[squeals]

[tires peeling out]

[hard rock music]

♪ Let's go!

[bullet ricocheting]

Goddamn senior citizen killers!

♪ Speeding down the motor way

♪ Let slow life pass us by

♪ Another mile, another day

♪ Some action in our lives

♪ We're on our way

♪ Living for today

♪ C'mon let's go, let go!

♪ C'mon let's go, let go!

♪ C'mon let's go, let go!

[all cheering]

[gun firing]

♪ Let go!

♪ Engines screaming Red hot rage ♪

♪ The government's not That high ♪

♪ Speed crazed racer Rip my mind ♪

♪ You know we're gonna Hit the sky ♪

♪ We make our move

♪ And you know we never lose

♪ C'mon let's go, let go!

♪ C'mon let's go, let go!

[Moira] The bikers were going to a biker rally

on an old landing strip in the woods.

They dropped the band off at a cute little cabin,

and told them to take shelter there.

[Moira chuckling]

Attention, please.

May I inform you...

that The Battle of the Bands and Dawn's tournament

both start coincidentally in 21.2 hours.

And we still have 500 kilometers to go.

Look, we've all been through a lot today

and we have no money.

If this person is nice,

maybe we can sleep in the barn tonight.

And then we can take the afternoon to relax

and to prepare mentally for tomorrow.

Sounds good to me. My legs are all wobbly.

[Dawn laughs]

[Granny]] Well, don't just stand there.

Come on in.

You all must be hungry and tired.

-Uh-huh. -This way.

[Riff] A pleasure doing business with you.

Thanks. [chuckling]

[Granny] And that's how the elephant got its long nose.

And the leopard, its dots.

[Peggy] That was a wonderful story.

Hey, can't you guys play one of your songs for Granny?

Hm... I suppose.

[Peggy] But we don't have a lead singer.

[groaning] [Granny] What about you, Dawn?

Do you like to sing?

I never tried, but actually I wrote a poem today.

Maybe we can turn it into a song.

Yeah!

[approvingly] Mhm. [clears her throat]

At the end of the Long winding road

Through the woods There's a light shining bright

[gentle piano music]

[gentle guitar music]

[gentle drum music]

♪ At the end of The long winding road ♪

♪ Through the woods

[Bandito] ♪ There's a light Shining bright ♪

[Dawn] ♪ There's a cottage Full of love ♪

♪ There's a harbor For our hearts ♪

♪ Never more will we Ever have to fight ♪

♪ Granny's house

♪ Mm mm

♪ Things will be all right In Granny's house ♪

[all] ♪ Ah oh ah

♪ Granny's house

♪ Mm mm

♪ Everything is fine In Granny's house ♪

[all] ♪ Ah oh ah

[Bandito] ♪ We can be a family

♪ This can be a paradise

♪ Granny, where've you been All my life? ♪

[Scotty] ♪ We belong to thee

♪ We'll do chores Around the house ♪

♪ And we'll keep you company

♪ Granny, where have you been All my life? ♪

♪ We belong to thee

[Dawn] ♪ Granny's house

♪ Mm mm

[all] ♪ Things will be All right in Granny's house ♪

♪ Granny's house

♪ Mm mm

♪ Everything is fine In Granny's house ♪

♪ Ah oh ah

[music fades out]

[Granny] Oh!

[end of the song]

[sniffling]

Oh...

Oh, you children are so talented.

And if you stick together, I just know you'll go far.

[dogs barking]

Hum...

Hum... [sighs]

[wolf howling]

[gentle piano music] [Dawn] Come here. Hmm.

[Peggy gasps]

[Dawn] Let's go.

[gravel]

Here, wear this.

[Peggy] I want you inside me.

[both moaning passionately]

-Good morning, youngsters. -Good morning, Granny.

Did you sleep well?

Exquisitely.

[Scotty] Looks like my previous assumptions were correct.

[Granny] Oh, zip it, Scotty! Can't you see they're in love?

[horn honking]

[all gasping]

Who's that?

[horn honking]

It's Lola! From Buck's bar!

With our car!

Hey! Hurry up, guys!

[clown horn honking]

[Lola] Battle of the Bands starts in three hours!

[twinkling sound]

I've pimped your ride.

[Bandito] But I wanna help Granny paint the barn!

And I wanna help Granny mow the lawn!

I wanna do it again with Dawn!

Let's just stay here, this is paradise!

Are you guys insane?

Your chance of a lifetime is within reach!

And you're just gonna throw that away or what?

-It's my fault. -No, it isn't.

Let me speak.

I'm not...

-Well, I'm not what I seem. -Uh-uh.

I knew that you were coming.

I even have detailed information

of your interests and your favorite food.

I was paid...

-to detain you. [gasps]

Make you miss your concert.

And I trusted you.

Who paid you?

-Moira. -Who?

You don't know?

Why are you telling us this now?

Because I don't want to help Moira ruin your life any more.

You changed my mind with your beautiful song yesterday.

This Moira sounds like an awful, jealous, evil person.

Why help someone like that?

Well, Moira is also the saddest person I ever met.

Always surrounded by people, yet hopelessly alone.

But now your friend Lola is here like sent from heaven.

You must go with Lola.

Corrupt or not,

I still don't ever want to leave you, Granny.

I'll always be here for you.

Now go.

Goodbye, Scotty. And Peggy.

My thoughts will be with you.

Take care of them, Dawn.

[car pulling away]

[Lola] Woo-hoo! [horn honking]

Ah!

Et tu,Granny! Where is your loyalty?

I thought we were like, not friends, but something.

[sighs]

I see it now.

My plans, they were too simple, too small.

I've gotta think bigger!

If I can't kill them...

and I can't pacify them...

[chuckles]

I'll humiliate them in front of the whole world.

Ah, Riff, I was just gonna sell you out to the cops

as soon as the dirty work was done,

but now I will make you a star!

[laughing]

[Lola] Woo-hoo! Here comes Dyke Hard!

["Payback" by Dyke Hard] [tires screeching]

[horn honking]

Wow!

♪ Payback!

♪ My time and my love And my hope and my songs ♪

♪ And my faith, my emotions

♪ Payback!

♪ My belief in myself And my self-confidence... ♪

[Lola] When I found out, you finally got rid of Riff,

I decided to devote this summer to you, guys.

You're great musicians, but you need better management.

I'll handle things from now on.

Here! Put these on!

It's your new costumes!

You can't go on stage in those rags.

Yeah, guys! Woo-hoo!

You must check me in, I'm paying for this, you know!

I'm sorry, but you're not in the papers, you know.

I'm not responsible for that.

♪ La, la, la Lesbian ♪

-Hi. -Hi.

I would like to check in Dyke Hard.

[whooshing and banging]

Dyke Hard!

[steward] Hum.... Um...

Sorry, hot stuff, but there's no such name in my papers.

Then I'll file an application for Dyke Hard right now.

That's a cool name!

[drum roll]

Mhm... The intake is actually closed, but--

-I'm gonna get you fired. -Yeah, yeah.

But if you promise not to tell anyone...

-Ow... -I'll sneak you in! Yeah!

[crowd screaming and fighting]

Am I OK? OK!

There's been a riot,

and it's double booked, for some reason.

Nobody knows.

No comment.

No comment.

[crowd screaming and fighting]

I'm afraid there's been an unfortunate misunderstanding,

this venue has been double booked

both for TV's Battle of the Bands

and The Martial Arts Tournament.

The organizers are trying to work out a solution

as we speak. [crowd booing]

-What the hell! -No!

-No. [Dawn] Excuse me!

[Dawn] I got something to say. [reporter] What? Who's that?

I am a Thai boxer,

but I've opened my heart to music.

I represent a dojo of fighters who up until a few days ago

had never heard of a round kick or an upper cut.

They were musicians, and I taught them how to fight.

I'm a fighter. But they taught me how to sing.

Yeah.

These last few days

have been the most important days of my life.

I've learned about acceptance,

friendship, betrayal and forgiveness.

And I've found love.

Tonight, right here,

I believe fate brought us all together

to learn from each other and to open our minds.

And if we can find it in our hearts

to share this space together,

we will witness something entirely new

that will change our lives forever.

[crowd cheering and applauding]

[someone in the crowd] Yeah! [inaudible whispering]

Please.

The organizers have decided to work together.

[crowd cheering and applauding]

I hereby declare the first martial arts

and music festival officially open!

[someone in the crowd] Yeah! [crowd cheering and applauding]

[reporter] Are you happy?

-Yeah! -Yeah!

[reporter laughing]

[crowd applauding]

Well, well, well! Hello, hello, everybody!

Welcome to the world's first rock and sports festival.

[electronic music]

[crowd cheering]

♪ Dance the night

[in Swedish] We're here as sports commentators.

[speaking in Swedish] Breaking, it's called.

You learn something new every day.

[in Swedish] Hot damn! Now that's what I call karate!

And now for tonight, the most expensive act.

It is Riff Painful and the Poodle Rockers!

[commentator] There's a rumor that a mysterious billionaire

is behind Riff's solo career.

The Big M's landed.

Yay! Hello morons!

What a fucking lame answer! I said: "Are you ready to rock?"

[crowd booing]

You better be.

Riff is barking orders at these kids,

but will they buy it?

[rock music]

♪ Survival of the fittest

♪ I eat Superman for breakfast

♪ I crush the weak Under my heel ♪

♪ I show no mercy I'm made of steel ♪

♪ God ask permission

♪ The devil keep on wishin'

♪ Zie could be as mighty as me

♪ I'm your Number One

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ I'm the best one around

♪ Yeah, yeah I'm your Number One ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ I'm the queen of this town

♪ The queen of this town...

So that was why Riff quit the band.

[Scotty] Apparently.

I hope the Poodles are treated good.

-You used to know Riff? [Peggy] Yeah.

-This show is kinda cool. -Cool? Ah!

♪ I'm the ayatollah

♪ Of rock and rollah!

♪ There's no competition In this world ♪

♪ My music makes Your pubic hair curl ♪

♪ No one can beat me

[Lola] OK, guys, it's time to get on stage.

-Are you ready? [all] Yeah!

-Excuse me. You're Dawn, right? -Yes.

You're here to defend your belt against Killer Queen?

Yeah, but I'm also here to play with my band, Dyke Hard.

Oh, I'm sorry, but there's only one act per person.

[all gasping]

You've kinda got to choose.

Then I play with my band.

I've done enough fighting today.

Yes!

[humming]

♪ I'm your Number One

[Moira] Ah! I spent a fortune on this show

and now they don't even like it!

They can't be allowed to go on stage and win.

[snaps fingers] -Yeah.

Send in the ninjas.

[Lola] Peggy! What are you waiting for?

[electricity crackling] [Peggy moaning]

[Scotty humming "Payback"]

[Scotty] Your speech was really great.

You're truly a born leader.

[sighs]

-I just spoke my mind. [ninja] Round One!

-Fight! -Scotty! We've got company!

[Scotty] Oh no! Ninjas!

-Ninja challenge! -To the death!

These guys must watch a lot of movies.

Let's give 'em a live show!

[clears throat]

[80s electronic music] -Take that!

[punching and kicking]

[hostess] Thai boxing...

[screams]

[sword slashes]

[spring boinging]

[punching and kicking]

[hostess] "Windmill" Johansson!

Damn it!

Well, if they want to play it that way!

[annoucer] And the winner is... [crowd cheering]

Send in the roller derby.

-Win! -Recognize!

Wait! A ninja conspiracy.

But for what purpose?

Peggy!

Bandito!

[chains rattling]

[growls]

[hostess] Cannonball wrestling Blue Demon!

[growling]

[Scotty] Peggy! Look out!

[glass breaking]

[punching]

[crowd groaning]

[bones crunching]

[Dawn groans]

[Dawn] Win! [Bandito] Da-da-da-da-Dawn!

Must I do everything myself.

[groans]

[Dawn] ♪ We belong

♪ Together in this...

[Peggy hums] [guitar music]

OK, this is it, Dykes. Are you ready?

[Bandito] Let's get it on! [Moira groans]

[Dawn groans]

[Bandito] Dawn!

[gasps]

[Dawn coughing] [screaming]

[Moira grunting] [punching]

[gasps]

[Bandito quivering]

[Bandito screams]

[Moira chuckling]

[Bandito] Go, Pegs!

[shirt ripping]

Hello, Peggy! Long time no see!

Who are you?

Hey, knock it off!

This is none of your business. Stay out of it!

[Bandito] I've met you before somewhere.

[gentle piano music]

[screaming] Wow!

♪ Sitting in the corner Feeling blue ♪

Moira!

Moira! It is you!

Oh, you suddenly remember my name now!

How flattering!

You're the one who paid Granny to keep us out of here!

[gasping]

Why did you do that? We used to be band mates!

We used to be amigas!

Amigas?You mean friends?

[laughs]

You didn't even notice me!

None of you did. You all forgot me.

Completely and totally.

As if I didn't exist,

as if I hadn't been there from the very beginning.

-Start... -A...

Band!

Moira!

But we're not like that anymore.

-We're really sorry. -You are?

[groans]

[Dawn] Peggy!

[grunting]

Can't we end this without bloodshed?

How do you make up for a ruined self-esteem?

[punch] [groans]

[kicking] Even cognitive behavioral therapy

couldn't fix it!

I know Riff was the real bully, but you all had friendship.

And you wouldn't even share it!

You're right.

We were blind and selfish.

But we were abused, too.

Riff constantly tried to break us down

with her bossy ways.

But along the way we got caught up in a lie.

A Lie of acceptance and hell, maybe even a promise of fame.

And we... left you behind.

I think we all learned our lesson.

We're sorry.

Can't you come back to the band?

How do I know you won't just treat me

like shit again?

We promise!

You put us through a lot and rightfully so.

You've gotten your revenge.

Now it's time for you to heal.

I think the best way is by letting us show you

the love and respect

that you always deserved.

[Peggy] Oh, Moira!

[crowd cheering]

And the last act tonight is...

Dyke Hard!

Hey! That song, "Payback".

It was you who wrote it, wasn't it?

I did.

That song was a warning.

It was a cry for help.

We get it...

now.

But... won't you... well... with us?

[chuckles]

[Bandito] Yeah.

Mmhm.

[crowd cheering and applauding]

But what do I play?

[Peggy] Here!

[heavy metal music]

That's about as much as you can use a guitar

within the limits of law.

[Riff growling]

Thanks.

[groans]

[Dawn] All set? -Don't embarrass yourself.

Wow, looks like Riff didn't get enough of that microphone

last time round.

You don't want to listen to this shit, these losers.

[crowd booing] -Get off the stage!

We all know I'm the winner, so why don't we just...

[electronic warbling]

[all screaming]

[speaking in Swedish] I'll be damned!

It's starting to resemble rock'n'roll!

[all gasping]

[cyborg growling]

I'm from the future. I will destroy you!

[growling] [all screaming]

[cyborg] Come on!

[Moira] Ah! My cyborg plan!

I forgot all about that.

-Sorry! [cyborg] Now you will feel

-real pain! [manic laughter]

[cyborg] Now you die! -Take shelter!

You die!

[cyborg laughing]

[people screaming] [cyborg] Again! Again!

[cyborg shutting down]

[cyborg] I love you!

[groaning]

[Riff] I love you, too!

[cyborg] Come to me!

[cyborg and Riff groaning]

[electricity crackling]

[explosion] [all gasping]

[speaking in Swedish] Holy shit! They like fused!

[crowd cheering and applauding]

[someone in the crowd] It's okay now!

I love you!

Love yourselves!

[crowd cheering]

What a touching paradox!

-Can we play now? -Yeah!

-Yeah! [Peggy] Come on, Moira!

Well, after a quite convincing futuristic stage show

the band is now ready to play.

Dyke Hard!

♪ We've been through Rain and snow ♪

♪ Wind and water

♪ Much too long

♪ By yourself You might be strong ♪

♪ Together, together

♪ Together...

♪ We... belong

♪ Friendship forever

♪ That's the way to go

♪ I'll be there for you

♪ No matter what, you know

♪ Friendship forever

♪ Together we stand tall

♪ I'll be there for you

♪ To catch you if you fall

♪ We have learned our lessons You and I ♪

♪ Never more any disrespect Or lies ♪

♪ We belong

♪ Together in this world

♪ Insecurity turned to harmony

♪ Grain of sand Turns into pearls ♪

♪ Friendship forever

♪ That's the way to go

♪ I'll be there for you

♪ No matter, don't you know

♪ Friendship forever

♪ Together we stand tall

♪ I'll be there for you

♪ To catch you if you fall

[slowly] ♪ We've been through

♪ Hell and back

♪ Thick and thin Too much to tell ♪

♪ One thing We've learned this far ♪

♪ Is together...

♪ Together

♪ Together

♪ We belong

[upbeat ] ♪ Friendship forever

[Dawn and the crowd sing] ♪ That's the way to go

♪ I'll be there for you

♪ No matter, don't you know

♪ Friendship forever

[electricity]

[crowd screaming]

♪ Friendship forever

♪ That's where we begin

♪ When you've got a friend

♪ Together you can Together you can ♪

♪ Together you can sing

[crowd cheering]

[Moira] And so the band was all together again.

Just like I'd always dreamed of.

[Buck laughing]

Buck Blossom and The Beast got married.

And we all lived happily ever after.

[crowd singing] ♪ That's the way to go

♪ I'll be there for you

♪ No matter what, you know

["Payback" by Dyke Hard]

What did I do to get rid of all that?

I said "yes"!

And what did I say "yes" to? Love! Yeah!

Perhaps you wanna try Barbara's job?

Sure thing! Can you hold this?

Visiting your boyfriend, huh? Is he as bad as me?

[laughing]

Oh, I almost forgot!

The Queen has called and wants you to call back.

Thank you, Pamela.

This is gonna be awesome.

Oh, children.

Don't weep for me, Jessica.

I shall forge on, ever the bastion of melancholy.

I'll endure.

And then...

Well, I'm sure it'll only hurt for a minute.

I've been told that the electric chair's

the most humane method.

♪ You never see me

♪ You never listen

♪ You're busy With your giant egos ♪

♪ I've changed my mind

♪ About you and your crew

♪ I don't wanna be part of you

♪ Payback!

♪ My time and my love And my hope ♪

♪ And my songs and my faith My emotions ♪

♪ Payback!

♪ My belief in myself

♪ And my self-confidence

♪ And my deeper emotions

♪ Payback!

♪ My sad, lonely efforts And strains ♪

♪ My heartache and pain

Don't forget to do that thing in the place with you-know-who.

So, when exactly are you gonna make me famous?

All in good time, Riff.

We must give your stardom a fresh start.

Do the real work of the music industry:

focus groups and marketing strategies.

[prisoners groaning]

Let's be adults for once, shall we?

[Gitta chuckling] That's what I always say!

♪ Then I'll get Wonderful vengeance ♪

♪ Payback!

♪ Revenge will be mine

♪ I'll wait

♪ I'll get vengeance

♪ Payback!

♪ Revenge will be mine

♪ Payback!

♪ My time and my love And my hope ♪

♪ And my songs and my faith My emotions ♪

♪ Payback!

♪ My belief in myself

♪ And my self-confidence My deeper emotions ♪

♪ Payback!

♪ My sad, lonely efforts And strains ♪

♪ My heartache and pain

♪ I have written my own song

♪ Everybody, come on Sing along ♪

♪ And the song It goes like this ♪

♪ Come on, baby Give me a kiss ♪

Hey, what are you guys doing?

-Nothing. -Well, stop it!

It's right through the bushes! Beware of the cruising lesbians!

Can we take a break?

Sure, honey.