Original subtitles

- I got a little confused about your names: Susanne and Andrea Rossi?

- Andrea is a male name in Italy, but I call him Sonny.

- Niels Beck - is that with "ck"? - Yes.

- And Lizzie Heinesen, Lizzie with two z's? - Yes.

- Well - Sonny really wants a baby and I also think it would be ok.

- But he doesn't really think that anything happens...

...so he had a test to check his...eh his wine... ...and its fine.

- The problem is me, my sperm just doesn't work.

- For how long has you been trying? - Her: not for long. - Him: very long.

- I will ask you questions that are both personal and intimate.

- We understand.

- Its the same when you build a kitchen, you have to be very detailed otherwise there might be a drawer that is stocked or...

- Yes...

- Well Niller and I works for HTH-kitchens, I'm interior designer and he installs.

- Italian women doesn't have these problems.

- One doesn't get pregnant that easy... ...in Denmark

- I have 44 "f�tter og kusine" - children comes if nothing is wrong.

- Sonny, you have 44 "f�tRE og kusinER". It will come, I'm only 27.

- Andrea... - Sonny.

- Because of your age, Lizzie, you can only adopt from the group of 3 to 6 year olds.

- Have you decided if the child may have a small handicap?

- We would just like a normal child. - What is a small handicap?

- Hard leg, operational big foot or polio.

- Hard leg, doesn't sound that bad? - We would just like a normal child.

- We do it when Sus says its the right time

- Three days after her period - every time! - I don't think the doctor wants to here more.

- I think you misunderstand something. - Now we'll go home and.. -What?

- Ovulations are right between the periods.

- Right between?

- Right between! Right between you are always very tired!

- Excuse me...

- Right between the periods? Ahhh...are you sure?

- Sus, if we did it right we would have plenty of children!

- To get a child is an important decision.

- Yes, and you never know if you gain 20 kilo and gets stretch marks all over.

- No, you never know.

- Sonny is way to handsome for that.

- Lets start the real interview?

- If your relationship is a car, which car would that be?

- Our relationship is a van? - It was very weird question.

- Besides, I drive a van every day. - This not a funny quiz. This is serious!

- I do take it very seriously.

The One and Only

- Where the fuck is Burkina Faso? - Africa.

- Don't they usually come from Korea? - Lizzie wanted a child from Africa.

- Its such a fucked up project... - Its my bad sperm, you know.

- If Bettina tried that shit on me I would throw her out right away!

- But there is no power in my sperm! - Nigger fucks nigger woman...

Nigger makes a child on nigger woman. Nigger leaves nigger woman

...and then you have the trouble with the kid.

- One should be a nigger: Fuck, fuck. I'm out of here.

- Do you mind? - Now we just need to clean.

- I hope you'll like it. The kitchen is the most important room.

- I can think of another important room.

- Ah yes - but we don't do bathrooms.

- You have a very harmonic face and a healthy skin.

- There is some dry areas at the chin...

...and...excuse me a second.

- He found out about the ovulations.

- I just know how he hates fat woman.

- He'll run away if I get water in the entire body and my face covered with marks.

- Just like Mette Thousen. - Who is that?

- Don't you remember? Good legs, nice boobs - "Mette Thousanddicks"?

- Nice boobs? - Yes. Then her legs got fat.

- Then she throw up for nine months and then the guy ran away with Lise Christoffersen.

- That�s exactly what I'm talking about!

- I've thought of a new name. - What�s wrong with Stella?

- Not first name. Last name. How do you like...

"Nice to meet you. My name is Stella Videman."

- Shit!

- Why don't you do like me and get a woman who works in daycare.

- She is not exactly bugging me to get a cake in the oven after 8 hours with the monster kids.

- But I don't think it will work for Lizzie. - Hey hey Niller!

- Hi, Mulle. - I just spoke to Lizzie, its just so...

- We'll see.

- Imagine you get a child its so...

- My partner Knud, and this is Mulle - Lizzies sister.

- Well...I'm really so... I have to meet some one from my group.

- Bye bye, Mulle.

- My interview with her went really well so if you don't say anything weird I think we're in a good position.

- You don't even know where Burkina Faso is. - You're so handsome with a tie.

- Get your own boyfriend Mulle. - Its in Africa.

- She likes to hear that you look forward to pass on the values you got from your parents.

- Where in Africa?

- No. - This one is good for him.

- And when she asks about the strengths and weaknesses in our relationships, you say that...

...the strengths is that we talk openly about our relationship and...

...the weakness is that we give to much room for each other.

It has to appear a little problematic but not hopeless.

- How about the skin jacket and a tie?

- Hmm...

- Thanks! - Niller? Niller!

- Yes?

- Please try not to talk about kitchens this time?

- When I mount a cabinet in a corner it means a lot to me that it fits...

...so you don't have to cheat with details afterwards. I find it unprofessional.

- You're avoiding the subject.

- The reason why I ask to your sex life is not to interfere...

...but many couples without children has a lot of erotic frustrations...

...so I need to know how you've dealt with the fact that your sex life hasn't given any outcome

- OK.

- So you want to know which animal best describes our sex life?

- What ever animal you think off.

- Guinea pig.

- Guinea pig? Well no animals are wrong, but why a guinea pig?

- Its not a bad animal.

- Where are you from? - I'm from Albertslund...

...the outskirts of Albertslund. Aha, you think of...

...well my mom is Danish and my dad is American.

- I'm not adopted.

- But there is nothing wrong about being adopted. - Oh no.

- So which animal did you choose?

- Well eh...

...I chose the Zoo. - The Zoo?

- Yes, sometimes like lions, sometimes as other animals depending on the mood.

- Did you really say that?

- Actually I think she liked me...

...I hate this kitchen...

...I'm cool, you are cool, our lives are cool but our kitchen has the same color as puh...

- If we wasn't moving to Milan we should have a new kitchen!

- They gave Milan to somebody else.

- They just called. - No...!

- They've known for weeks.

- No! - Si...

- They can't do that! - They are so unfair!

- It would have been so perfect in Milan.

- First 10.000.

- Then if you're approved, you pay 33.000 in salary.

- Why don't you get somebody to make her pregnant and save 43.000.

- You're talking about Lizzie! - She looks all right.

43.000

- I will do it for half the price.

- We have to go to Stockholmsgade now... ...quite fun its the second client there.

- Yes, Niller, its humor on an international level.

- Lets look for something red... - Sus! I'm Italian, I need a real woman!

- Am I not a real woman? - How may I help you?

- I'm looking at kitchens with my husband... ...very female wouldn't you say?

- Why do you reject me? - I agreed to look at kitchens right?

- Mom calls each Sunday and ask what�s wrong. - He is Italian as you can see.

- Why don't you want to be a woman?

- I am a woman! A normal Danish woman.

- You lied to me!

- The doctor said we should focus on something else...

...and now were arguing here between all these ridiculous kitchens.

- Some times a Danish girl wants a kiss without thinking of ovulations.

- You lyed about your ovulations. - No, Sonny, I "lied"...

...and I did apologize - right.

- We will have a child...just not now. Why can't you wait a while?

- But I'm Italian!

- Please calm down.. - Shut the fuck up!

- Its my head that�s screwed. When I see kids I want kids, I like kids.

- I get so happy that I also want a kid... ...also with you...

...just one that...we just...

...maybe we should just try then...

...and see...we should do it.

- Si? - Si...

- I'll get very fat and ugly! - Ugly? You'll be beautiful with a big stomach!

- I love you! - Do you?

Si...!

- Stronza...Til amo.

- My head is so weird.

- Amore...

- I was thinking that if the child�s birthday is in the summertime...

...we could celebrate it in Dyrehaven.

- We just decide that the birthday is in the summertime.

- Please change your clothes. You look like your afraid of getting baby food on it.

- We have to look relaxed. - You can't just change a birthday.

- There is so much to do before here look relaxed.

- I have to make the beds and put bread in the oven. Would you please change your clothes?

- What about "Stella Catz" or "Stella Schwartz"?

..."Mrs. Stella Schwartz"...its not that bad?

- Don't turn around! - DON'T turn around!

- You should go for a guy like him... ...sweet, nice and definitely with humor.

- Wait a second...now!

- Svend has gone back to his ex...

"Why do you stand there in the rain Stella? Go home!"

- Go and ask for a light. - I just smoked.

"Stella Hertz"? Quite good isn't it? "Mrs. Stella Hertz"

"Hertz"

- Hertz rent out cars Stella - on a daily basis.

- Oh yes...

- Well thanks for everything... ...so nice with homemade cakes.

- I just love to make jam and bake. - We just love to make jam and bake.

- Well now I will write my report, then the council will make a decision on their next meeting...

...and shortly we'll get back to you.

- We have felt so safe with you...

- We'll wait and see. - Yes, thanks.

- We are the ones to thank you.

- Why did you say that we haven't considered where the kids room should be?

- Because we haven't!

- We talked about the kids room should be in the guest room and the guest room should be in the storage...

...and the things in the storage would go in the basement...

...and if there isn't room enough in the basement we'll just throw it out...

- Don't you understand? We'll just throw it out!

- Making jam and bake...

- Hello!

- You told me you will help me remember, then I count on you'll help me remember.

- You will go back and get it your self!

- We are approved.

- Oh Niller!

"...the protecting lid on the wed tip..."

"Put the test on a planar surface."

"Wait a couple of minutes and read the result."

- Wow...

...what...

...its to crazy...

- So when do get that child? - Tomorrow or in half a year. You don't know.

- What if you don't like the one they hand out? - You have three months to figure out if it works.

- Then what if it doesn't work?

- Well then you tell the adoption lady that it doesn't work.

- And then what? - They'll send her back to Burkino Faso.

- Ok...that�s cool.

- Well of course not...

...and if my balls was a horn what would it sound like?

- Sus...

- Sus, what�s up?

- Would you like some coffee? - I got a message to get home immediately!

- Please sit in the coach.

- Would you like some coffee? - What�s wrong?

- Is everything fine at work? - Si...listen I have very very busy.

- No, its called "I AM very busy".

- I just go and make us some coffee.

- Sonny, I'm pregnant.

- No doubt...look at this.

- Are we happy?

- Amore...

- Amore!

- Amore...!

- Niller, ohoj! - Hello! I'm in here.

- Hi. - Nice.

- Lizzie will work less for the first months...

...then I'll show up four hours each... - What about the university?

- I might as well be here with my books about psychology. - What about kindergarten.

- My child will not be in a kindergarten for the first months...what are you doing Niller?

- I was thinking that if the color on each wall is different the child can choose which color to look at.

- So sweet Niller...

...definitely. - Actually I like a lot my self.

- You don't need to continue. - Why?

- No it doesn't work Niller. I'll just go and get the color map.

- I find your idea very spontaneous. - Mind your own business, Mulle!

- Stella, its done.

- Oh no, Sonny got another?

- He is so mean! - No, but I'm pregnant!

- Oh no.

- Oh no.

- I'm pregnant. - Oh my poor...

- Everything will be all right.

- Poor baby...

- I'm so happy.

- You should see Sonny, he is also so happy!

- We'll be so happy now.

- I don't think...

- Congratulations...

...my sister didn't get any stretch mark...

...or...almost no stretch mark.

- Well it is a very important decision to invest in the right kitchen...

...so its important to choose the right thing.

- I think it would be very beautiful in this karosinred color...

...very hot red...what do you say, Sonny?

- This time, you decide... ...Mamma!

- Scusi...

- This one. - He is so wonderful to just decide?

- The kitchen IS a very important room... ...you spend a lot of time there...

...it has to be good.

- I don't know anymore...

...does it have to be so...

...if it has to be so red!

- No...well we also have something more... ...quiet...

- I'm pregnant, its all hormones.

- That�s a good occasion to make the kitchen.

- Yes the kitchen is actually all we need.

- Good...

- Would you mind if I go down with the trash. I think it smells so much of onion.

- It will turn so ugly for you tonight...so ugly.

- How...eh...

- How...how is it with you and Bettina? - Fuck?

- No no, when you wake up do you think: "I'm so happy we're together"...

...or is more like: "It will be all right"?

Bettina doesn't exactly gets you in ecstasy because she is your girlfriend...

...she is more like one you shout at because she leaves her Tampax on the sink...

...with the wound upwards.

- Are we going to start a male therapy group or should we bowl?

- He said I reminded him of his sister...

...and he asked if we could be friends because I'm so good to talk to...

- And he would like to know you better?

- I do have friends enough already. - He just respects you as a human.

- I have plenty of respect already! You do respect me, don't you?

- Yes. - Its because I don't have dark hair...

...and is to tall. - Yes...

...maybe he was overwhelmed by your feminity Stella...

- You are so much woman. - Yes but he is also very much man.

- Is he? - Yes, otherwise I wouldn't choose him.

- Do you love him at all?

- Its just because I like his first name and my last name together...

..."Stella Vagn Hansen" but apparently that wasn't meant to be.

- And I just remembered that I slept with his younger brother half a year ago...

...and he treated me the exact same way. - How many have you been together with?

- I've been with...

...twelve...

...this year.

...no thirteen with him Lasse from the party at the harbor.

- Maybe he was a bit more sweet...

...and a bit more gallant as in the old days...

- Dig this with me, Stella!

- Hi, Sonny. - Ciao, Ragazze!

- Mamma... - I got to go now...

...so embarrassing... - Bye bye.

Allora, Bella! I was thinking we should get tickets for Frieze?

- Yes Frieze? - Yes, in a month when I get back from Frankfurt.

- Are you serious? - Certo!

- One need to take his women to Florence once in a while!

- "womAn", otherwise some may think there is more women. - Andiamo!

- Niller, come here!

- What�s up! - Sit down?

- Year yearh? - Niller...

- Her name is Mg...Mgala.

- M-g-a-l-a. - Who?

- The child we are offered!

- Nobody says that we have to take the first. This girl is five years old and from a childrens home

- In a way...I think she should have had a real family for a while...

...and then later on lost her parents.

- Is that better? - On the other hand, if we reject her...

...the next ones may be boys. - Don't we want a boy?

- Its also bad that she is five. We could have one thats only three.

- Don't we like five year olds? - Its about getting them as early as possible.

- And the best would be a girl at three and the worst a boy at five?

- We take her! - What was her name?

- That�s what we do! Mala Mgala...I don't know how to pronounce it?

- Magala? - No - Mm-gala!

- Its the big classic kitchen in red.

- Could you do it alone?

- I have a small project in Gothersgade.

- She�s 24 - and more than willing. - What if Bettina finds out?

- The project in Gothersgade won't tell, you won't tell and I definitely won't tell...

...then Bettina really can't find out, right?

- Well...will you do it or what? Fucking yes or fucking no?

- Fucking yes yes...

...but only if you say Mgala.

- MAGLA!

- Mgala, Mgala

- Hi.

- Hi.

- What? - I'm here with the kitchen.

- Aha... - Why is that so funny?

- I laugh because I'm pregnant and have to give birth in the middle of June.

- I have a child as well...on Monday. - How do you know its Monday?

- Because we are adopting. She�s five years old and named Mgala.

- Then your wife doesn't have to be fat.

- There you go.

- Adoption...quite something? - Yes, my sperm doesn't work at all.

- Should we try to see this one without the clothes?

- Are you two women living here? It says Susanne and Andrea on the door.

- No, Andrea is my Italian husband. In Italy men can be named Andrea.

- I call him Sonny...

...I once had a boyfriend named Sonny...

...my next boyfriend was named Johnny.

- The first time we...eh...did it...

- I called Johnny Sonny.

...then I met Andrea after Johnny...

...and the first time we do it..

...I call him Sonny!

Isn't it crazy? Sonny, Sonny and Sonny!

- I will now start to tare down the old kitchen.

- I'll be back on Tuesday. - You'll be back on Tuesday?

- Yes I have to install the new kitchen, right?

- So now I'll take my tools and begin.

- Yes...

- OK?

- Niller. Get ready...

- I want to show you something.

- Its from a store at Vesterbrogade.

- Its just so sweet, sure.

- It doesn't work. - Why not?

- You can't give a nigger doll to a girl from Burkino Faso!

- Of course you can. - Its like reading Black Sambo for her...

...its a western caricature of the Africans.

- Come on.

- Its so beautiful. It really looks good with that color.

- I have to look good because I met a very handsome man.

- Really? Congratulations. I believe this jacket is yours.

- Thanks.

- Then I'll give you this one...

- I almost get jealous. There is nothing like being in love.

- He�s Italian and so sweet. He gives me present all the time.

- Flowers, chocolate - Italians are so romantic...

...I've married one my self. Do you pay with credit card?

- He had invited me to Italy but I forgot the city.

- You should try Florence. - Yes, he promised Florence.

- But he had to go to Frankfurt this time. - What does he do?

- He works for Olivetti. - Aha?

- What? - So does my husband.

- What�s his name? - Sonny.

- Good so its not the same

- Mine is Andrea.

- Bye bye.

- Come!

- Come, sweetheart.

- This is where you live.

- Well?

- Can I take this?

- I close the door.

- There you go.

- Ciao, Bella! Come va?

- Oh yearh the kitchen guy hasn't been here today so I guess we need a restaurant again.

- Va bene.

- Its so boring to eat home all the time right?

- I like to eat out. - I noticed.

- Italian men. They are so romantic.

- Lets find a vase. The question is which one?

- Its your flowers, you decide.

- Hmm...I know what to do then.

- And the bouquet is gone! - Ma cosa fai?

- Yes, why did I do that? - What are you doing?

- I give you an opportunity to explain something that you want to tell.

- Sonny if you start to talk about laptops I'll scream.

- I've been to a very very very long meeting.

We're in the middle of the campaign of...

- What�s going in? - No, Sonny not "What�s going in?".

"What�s going ON?" And that�s my question!

Because today I've did the nails on some bimbo who claims to have an affair with you.

Si...

No, Sonny! You can't do that! How can you do that!

I'm pregnant! I'm carrying your child!

- I have to look like a balloon for nine months because of you!

- Its fun. - No, its not fun!

Calmati! Sus!

- She is beautiful. She has long legs, but she is not...

- Baby, my dear, calmati! - You are so stupid. You are so stupid!

- Out!

- Goodbye, signore Rossi! Move home to her!

- Don't get so... - And don't come back!

- Cara...Bella...

- You hit me!

- She can't be hungry anymore. She is probably just tired.

- And what should we call you?

- Are you a little Nanna? Or a little Sarah?

- But her name is Mgala.

- We are her parents we can call her exactly what we like. We can call her - Ingeborg!

- But we can't just change the name of a child - I don't think we should argue in front of the girl.

- Its just for fun. - You're thirsty.

- Stay here...

...you sit here...

...is it a good apple?

- Niller. You forgot to buy milk. - Oh yearh, I forgot.

- Not very clever to forget to buy milk when we have a small girl in the house.

- Just stay. I can go to 7 Eleven my self.

- I'm sorry I've been so terrible for the last months.

- Now everything will be different. Now we're only the three of us.

- I'll do it fast!

- Fuck!

- Just stay here.

- Avv...

- I guess you won't be at work for a while?

- They've given me a month off. - That�s nice I think.

- Its nice to have a month of.

- Well I have to go. I have to go to work.

- Funny that it happened in the middle of...

- Do you want something? - No, we get some pizzas.

- Well that sound very good for a child...

...or...

- Of course I'll be there at the funeral.

Bye bye.

- You do talk to her? - What do you mean?

- I heard from a book Bettina read. You really have to talk to children.

- Otherwise you knows what she says when she grunts and she knows what you say when you grunts.

- Talk.

- You have to talk with children.

- Look at this...

...coffee table...

...trousers...

...take that pillow...

...hand...

- Hi. HTH-kitchens...

...I should begin to install you're kitchen...

...but the computer claims that we haven't received the second payment...

...and we can't really start before that.

Is the payment on its way? A receipt will do.

- Why do you change craftsman in the middle of the project?

Why does one man tare down the kitchen and then another man installs?

- Very strange company! - But its because of Niller...

...its something personal. - Niller?

- Very strange company!

- Oh no...

- I like to say...

...I find it...

...I find it very unfair that Lizzie so suddenly...

Lizzie really knew what she wanted.

That�s good. Its good to know what you want.

Knud and I once made a kitchen in Bellah�j...

We had to do it four times...

...because they didn't know what they wanted.

Thank you.

- You have been in there for two hours.

- I'm waiting to dissolve with the baby so it all would be over.

- You can do as Stella do? - No thanks. I don't want an abortion. Its disgusting!

- Yes but sometimes you feel like you have to. - I don't feel that I have to do anything.

- Then do as Hanne K and take him back and have the baby and say thank you.

- When I have told him not to come back!

- Good, he would probably leave anyway.

- I've touched her face. "You have a very harmonic face".

- Just tell him that he can't rely on you waiting for him.

- You know everything? - Yes, what�s the worst in the world?

- To be pregnant when your husband fucks some tall, blonde bimbo.

- But the second worst is when he figure out that you can do without him and has somebody else.

Pretend you are working on somebody else.

Change the lock so he doesn't come and pick up his stuff while you are at work.

When he comes you are relaxed gorgeous.

- What? - Now I am Sonny.:

"Bella Della! Kissemisse! Spaghetti mittipizzeria!"

And you just have an empty look in your eyes.

- Too bad, Sonnyboy.

- Too bad, Sonnyboy.

- Well, a bit more nerve.

- You know, a cold well dressed volcano.

- Come on. Denmark against Italy. You know.

- Too bad, Sonnyboy. - Too bad, Sonnyboy.

- A bit more mouth. Ass back and the breasts forward...

Try again. Come on.

- Too bad, Sonnyboy.

- OK. And you have to promise you don't give in to fast.

You have to be cold otherwise he will run away again in a week.

- You smell of onion.

- Be good to your self.

- Buy a video film, and some fast food. You know, cozy mourning!

- Niels... - Mulle...

- You may call me Merete. Look at it like this:

Lizzie left you for another...

...you haven't done anything wrong... - What do you mean?

- You're not guilty in anything. You can have a new...

A new what?

- What about your work? - They gave me time off.

In your...Its very common to try to forget when the past hurts.

...remember your life. Call your work and ask for a few hours.

- What about Mgala? - You need to spend time on her as well...

...but you...

- Niels I've studied psychology for more than seven years...and I know...something...

...and I'll be here on Monday. You go to work. You need to get back...

- Seven years, Niels! - Yearh yea...

- I'm back on Monday.

- Avv.

- Bye bye.

- Monday! - Bye, Mulle.

- You don't have other games for her?

- We have a very cool game called "The Farm".

- What will you do about everything?

- I don't know.

- Lizzie and I was together for many years. I should be sad and miss her.

...of course there was a lot of good things.

- Can I say something about Lizzie?

Lizzie was fucking annoying, fucking dominating and a fucking pain in the ass..

- Well, now...

- I'm looking forward to get you back.

- They made me do kitchens in some institutions in Northwest with two lazy guys...

...who doesn't do shit.

- Did you ever finish the kitchen by the lakes? - Who was that?

- The woman at Vordrofssvej with the big classic kitchen in red.

- That woman miss shitty? - No, she was pretty good looking.

- You have a fucked up taste for women, Niller.

Anyway, she hasn't paid the second payment so she�s put on hold.

- I better get home to Bettina.

- Will you just carry her to bed?

- She�s sleeping, right?

- Don't you think you need to brush her teeth with all the cake she ate.

- We'll do it extra careful tomorrow. - And children should have all that cake if you ask me.

- Do you think I'm bad at this...with the child?

- I'm not exactly a pedagogue, right.

- The lock was changed last Friday. - Cosa?

- The lock was changed last Friday.

- Check out what you did to my eye?

- Too bad, Sonnyboy. - Is that all you have to say?

- You force me to be together with her when you throw me out!

- Its so tough to be Italian?

- Why haven't they made the kitchen yet?

- Well, there is only one man, and he didn't get time to work on it.

Niller is to busy, well I just call him Niller...

Grazie.

You better go now. Niller can be here anytime.

- You try to make me jealous!

Cara...

...e bella...Ma che fai?

- Sorry, I didn't get that. - What?

- The difference between hydrokorpus and hydroserum.

- I said that hydrokorpus can't replace hydroserum.

- I believe you said it the other way around. - Whatever?

Is it very difficult? You have hydrokorpus and hydroserum.

And it all goes in the face and get rubbed all over, right.

And if you don't have the one you can substitute with the other.

No.. ok.. I'll try to explain it differently.

This is another long lasting day cr�me, also a good alternative.

If that�s not good enough...

...we have others, but its all about tighten the skin...

...these are vipsoderms and mixed enzymes...

...these enzymes are to make the dead skin cells to amino acid...

Take it! Its all about extrulation and tare of the dead skin...

...but who cares. The cell dies anyway...

...it all dies and fall of... - Sus...

- Don't dare fire me! I'm not the kind of person you fire...

...I choose to leave when I want and I want that now...

...and if this actually worked you would probably look a lot better your self don't you think!

...I'm gone...goodbye...

- What are you looking at?

- Sus, I think we have to go and powder the nose...come...

- This is corn flakes...

...this is a spoon... ...this is a bowl...

- Niels, now you have to go to work...

- I don't know really... - Seven years, Niels!

I'm not only thinking of you I also think of Mgala.

She needs to experience everyday life with you leaving and coming back...

...without getting run over every time.

- Niels, you have to make an... - Yearh yearh...

- I'll go now but I'll be back and I will not be run over.

- Bye, Mulle. - Please call me Merete?

I prefer Merete. Remember that you are a beautiful...

...remember your masculinity... you have a responsibility now...

...you have to straighten...yes... ...we'll see you this afternoon.

And we say "bye bye" to Niels!

Shit!

...shit shit shit shit...

- Hi! - What?

- Well I heard that your new kitchen wasn't installed and its been a while and that doesn't work, right.

- Yes but I haven't paid the second payment. - I know...

...but I'm not going to work for a month so I could...

- So you want to use your holiday to install my kitchen?

- Its not holiday. - Your life must be so pathetic if you have nothing else to do.

- You can't live without a kitchen.

- Hey...

...are you all right?

- You can't live like this!

- What�s on your mind when you look at me?

Am I like a mother, erotic or just prudish?

No, I think you are good looking.. .. very good looking.

Not prudish at all.

- Try get over here.

- Not very prudish, right?

- You may also kiss me. - Me?

- Yes...kiss me.

- My husband left me, he finds me prudish.

- I think you look more like one that one wants to dance with.

- Maybe its not possible to love me for very long.

- I think one can love you as long as it takes.

- On the outside I might look ok, but inside its such a mess...

- I don't think so.

- When you came here for the first time I thought about if you had a girlfriend.

- I have also been thinking about you like this.

- Pregnant and happy and my first thought is:

"Does he got a girlfriend?" Isn't that a strange mind?

- If you were my girlfriend I would never leave you.

- No we almost doesn't know each other and here we are already!

- I was a bad time for me to come. - Its best if you leave now.

- Yes.

- Now it wants to sleep...

...now its sleeping...

...sleep...sleep...sleep...

Hello...

...I'm back and I'm not been run over. - How was it?

- What? - At work?

A yes - work. It was nice to go out for a while...

- You were right, Mulle. - Merete. Seven years, Niels...

...I know about these things.

- Does the lady from the adoption council know that you're no longer...

...that you're only your self now?

- Have you...

...have you considered if you can handle this by your self?

- Well I have been thinking a bit.. .. a lot actually.

- Its a great responsibility to be alone with a child its very...

- Have you considered calling them?

- I don't know. - Wait...

...wait and see...new opportunities may show up...

...right now you can't imagine a life after Lizzie... but it will come...and then I will...

...when you get to a point where... ...I always liked you Niels...

- Likewise Mulle. - Merete.

- Look at this...

- I'll be here same time tomorrow.

- Mgala, bye bye!

- Thank you so much Mulle...Merete.

- Look at this...floor...

...and music...

- Did you do it...in the living room?

- Well actually we...

- You got craftsmansex - fantastic! We got him...his Italian...

...next time you see him I bet he feel that something has happened...

...right in the living room...

...in a week he'll be on his knees...

...he will have nightmares about all the working sex you get...

...try remember this next time you see him:

Try not to hit him. Be mute and interesting.

And for gods sake don't puke while he sees it?

- You smell of onion. - What?

- You smell of onion.

- Stove...

...stove...

...pan...

...a faucet...

...and this is a pot...

- Fuck...

- Now you have to...

...like this...

- Fuck.

- You? - Grazie! Nice to let your husband in.

Maybe this game should stop now? A small word "sorry" and we can continue.

- Should I say "I'm sorry"? - You hit me...twice!

- The small thing with her is what happens...

I can call her now? I can tell her that we'll never meet again.

"My wife apologized".

- Do I hear a small "I'm sorry"?

- Hello...

- Hi...

- Hi...

- Shit...

...shit shit shit shit shit shit shit...

- Wow...

- Hello.

- There is Niels. - That�s right...hi...

- Mulle, what have you done? You awake my inner tango!

- No Niels, I get totally...

- Mulle, calm down. I was just kidding.

- We should have this talk. - Which talk?

- Nothing good comes out of pretending and playing games...

...Niels...

...I think the three of us could make a great family...

- The three of us? - We both know that we always...

...had a crush on each other...

- Did we? - We're humans and that�s ok.

- Merete...

...I met a woman...

- A woman?

- Her name is Sus.

Lizzie is just...

...and you already met somebody else?

- God, you're a sick... - Listen...

- And what are you...will you bring her here...in Lizzies furniture.

- I don't know yet, Merete. - Don't call me Merete!

- You as a dad to that poor...it makes me sick.

- Stop it! - And with the quality of your sperm...

...you should not be allowed to take care of a child!

- Mulle. - It won't be allowed.

- Fuck.

- Fuck?

- You said "fuck"?

- You said "fuck" - Fuck...

- You are clever.

Come...

- OK...first time you did it you didn't...

...but now you did?

...and we are still trying to make Sonny jealous and win him back?

- Of course.

Furthermore, Niller is married and about to adopt he won't make any more trouble.

- Was it good? - Stella, I won't reply to that.

- But sometimes it can be very good with some craftsmansex.

- No...that�s not the way that it is...I feel terrible...

...I'm pregnant...Sonny left me...I feel terrible...

- This is only nerves. - Did you call him Sonny?

- What? - Did you call him Sonny?

- No.

- Calm down Stella Videman Katz Hertz...

- Uh I feel so terrible.

- Pull!

- Its Bettina...

...she said: "Knud, I don't want to listen to you anymore".

...that�s what she fucking said...

- Knud, everything is so complicated.

- I don't know where to go...

...the one in Gothersgade is not the kind you move in with...

...OK...you can sleep on the couch...

- Yearh yeah...

- Buona sera. Andi amoragazzi..

- Mine! Mine! The Cabinet - mine!

- Mine! Mine... - Do want me to apologize is that it?

- Ask your craftsman to make new furniture?

- Listen...there is no craftsman...I made it up

- The couch is mine, table mine...ah no no no the little ugly vase is not mine...

Ah Scusi "the SMALL ugly vase".

- I made it up to make you jealous.

- But I saw a craftsman...on top of you.

- Ah, yes...

- That�s right. I've been with a craftsman.

- Once, Sonny! Only once.

- You started it and now we're even.

- This is my lawyer, so we can get a fast divorce.

- We can't get a divorce, I'm pregnant remember. - Oh no...

...you have to get an abortion. I don't want an extramarital child.

- What are saying, Sonny. Its not just a thing in my stomach.

You're cabinets, your desk and your bed ...but this is not yours...

...its a baby. - Get one with your craftsman.

- We'll take the bed now.

- I did think of moving my self but I felt sorry for her.

- I thought she was crazy about me.

- I don't know if I can handle it Knud. - Its just for a couple of days.

- I was thinking of being a dad.

- What clothes are she going to wear? What does she eat? What about vitamins?

- What about the sexbomb Mulle? Wasn't she taking care of her?

- She don't come here anymore. She freaked out when I told her that I'd met somebody else.

- Could you please repeat what you just said?

- I met the woman with the red classic kitchen.

- Met?

- You've fucked her?

- Have you?

- A little bit.

- Ok Niller. I'll get sick as well. Then we handle the babysitting, women and everything.

And if your dick is a pizza which number would it have?

- All that with the abortion is not for him to decide...that little lover boy.

- In my mind it was like this:

Sonny and me and a child...happiness...

...but if I can't get that I don't want anything.

- I don't believe in 2/3 happiness.

...so I have decide to get that abortion.

...yes...

- Sus... - I really appreciate that you spend the night.

- I get pregnant if just a guy says "hello" to me.

I know the first names of all the doctors at the Rigshospital.

I mention it because you get so sad when...

...everybody else are pregnant and happy...

- I HAVE made an appointment now and I won't change that.

- Sus, one start to stare down into other peoples baby carriages and imagine how...

...but what if you tried...

- I'll get it.

- Hi come on in - Sus you've a visitor. - Don't say anything. I like to say something first!

- What?

- This is Africa. This is Mali, Niger, Ghana - and this is Burkina Faso.

- What are we talking about? - If we are to be together you got to meet Mgala.

- Aha and your wife or what?

- No please listen.

Once I was working with a door in a kitchen that wouldn't fit...

...finally I realized that the hinges was mounted wrong. So no matter what I did it would never fit...

- What are we talking about now? - My wife.

- So now we are talking about your wife? - Who is dead!

- Is your wife dead? - Yes but we never fitted...

...and I can feel that yours and mine hinges are mounted right.

- This is way to weird for me Niller.

I really can't have anything more in my head right now. Its messy enough already.

Nothing fits and on Friday I'm going to Frederiksberg Hospital.

- Are you ill? - No...I'm going to get an abortion.

- An abortion?

- Hello.

- Niller?

She looks uncomfortable out there. I think she has to pee.

- The toilet is that way.

- May we go and pee?

- Yes.

- I guess its a bad time right now.

- Hello Niels.

- I believe we need to talk.

- I'm close to use a word like "breach of trust".

If it wasn't for Lizzies sister, who called me, I wouldn't have known what has happened.

- I didn't know you need to know.

- Its not a secret that it primarily was because of Lizzies remarkable personality that you were approved...

...and when the accident happens the day Mgala arrives...

...I find it incredible that you haven't contacted us.

- Fuck!

- Its African and means "Hello".

- Then fok fok to you as well.

- I'll be honest and say that I have no rights to take Mgala away but...

...I'm sure that its best for her to get back to the safe children�s home in Burkino Faso...

...until the right parents show up, right.

For her own sake of course.

Cheer up. Life goes on.

One day you might meet a sweet girl and...

...maybe you like to...adopt and I'll promise you that...

- Niller god damnit! - As far as I know Air France has a flight on Friday.

Ok - I call.

Bye bye.

- Its just for fun, right.

- You need this one...

...the walrus...

...and the horse...

- Maybe my first name is wrong? No matter what I put behind it - it sounds wrong.

- Did you call him? - No, I haven't done anything...

...he has a newly adopted daughter with a wife that just died...

...and I'm pregnant with Sonny who just left. And we're not a very pretty couple. We don't fit.

- I meant Sonny.

- Susanne Rossi? - Now...look out for this.

- Good luck.

- Here you have a small pill to make you relax.

- If you say goodbye now I'll take Mgala to the airport.

And of course it will be someone she knows that picks her up in Burkino Faso.

We just need a signature here, Niels.

Just write here.

- Hello Merete.

- Niels, I want to talk to you...somewhere else...

...but we can also do it here.

Sus mobile - its Stella.

No, Sonny...I don't think you can talk to her right now.

We are actually at Frederiksberg Hospital at the abortion ward...

...guess what she is doing your self...

I should have known that you react with denial when mourning...

...we call it "Joss syndrome". You want to argue with God, now I'm using metaphors...

...but I'm here...

And you probably has problems understanding your feelings right now but you don't need to understand them.

We have to think practical and...

If you and I like to...

- Mulle...

- Yes?

- You're ok but it will never be you and me.

And Mgala is not going back to some children�s home.

Mgala is not going to anything sensible or practical. Mgala is going to stay with me...

- and feel love, plenty of love!

And so shall I.

And now I have to leave because someone I love is about to make a very big mistake.

Knud - car keys.

- If you were pieces in a Ludo game would you then have been sent home by now?

...now I'm using metaphors.

You haven't been eating or drinking within the last eight hours?

We are now preparing you for anesthesia. I just have to make sure someone will take care of you tonight.

Why?

Because its not good if you're alone if anything should happen.

But your friend is here?

- Yes.

- Are you sure you want this abortion?

- Yes.

- I once tried a test in a magazine...

...to figure what type I was.

Then...

...I was so afraid to be a type that couldn't control my own life...

...so I cheated to get more point.

One do a lot of crazy things, right?

- I'll have to announce that there is medical students present...

- We'll now anaesthetize and then we'll do the procedure...

...then you'll be taken to awakening and you'll be released.

- I just put this on so I can see how you're doing.

- Now you'll get something to sleep on.

- It starts by tasting of onion.

- Onion? Why does it taste of onion?

- Where is she? - She has just been taken to operating room 3.

- Look after her. I'll be back.

- Ok I'll do that.

- Take a deep breath and you'll be sleeping in two minutes.

- Where is she? - I don't know.

- Stop! Get away from her.

- I have to say something to you! - Is that the father?

- Can I please be anaesthetized! - Attenzione!

- I am her husband! - If you were a real man she wouldn't be lying there?

- Throw him out! -Andi amo! - What�s going on?

- Would you like some hot chocolate? Shall ant Stella get some hot chocolate?

OK...

I like that as well. Just a second and we'll have some wonderful cocoa.

There we go...

Here you go...Mala?

Gamla...? Gamala?

- Of course you're not going to have that abortion!

- The decision is made. Its my child.

- Rubbish. Children are there own. Parents just have to make sure there feeling good.

- Its just like kitchen. It doesn't matter as long as there is a fridge, a sink and a stove.

- She is going with me to Frankfurt to work for Olivetti.

- later we'll go to Florence... - Sonny, I'm not going to Frankfurt with you.

- Of course not. - Scusi?

- I don't want you back. You're very handsome but I don't love you.

- Of course not. - I can handle this my self, ok?

Caisco! You want us to have the child? We'll have it!

No, Sonny, its you I don't want.

- Life is to short to waste on the wrong guy. And I'm not the right one for you.

You want a complete different woman.

Do you mind leave now? I want to get this over with.

- Anaesthetize me now!

- Do you want to proceed? - Get that abortion!

- No stop. You have to say that you don't love me.

- I will only leave if you say that you are not in love with me.

- I am in love with you.

I am very much in love with you.

I almost think I love you.

In a way I've know that since first time I saw you when you delivered the kitchen.

You stood on the stairs...

...and there it was.

It was very strange.

- I am to good for you! I am to beautiful for you!

You can go to hell. He can go to hell.

All Denmark can go to hell!

Forza Italia!

- Susanne, we need a clear answer now. Do you want the abortion or...?

- Hi.

- No, we're going to have the baby. Niller and me. - Then we have two.

That�s a pretty good job with the quality of my sperm.

- Its an important decision to marry someone.

I ask you, Niels Beck...

marry Susanne Rossi, who�s here by your side as your wife?

- I like to say a few words to Sus.

And I promised my self not talk about kitchens.

Because what is a kitchen. Its just a place.

What�s important is how you feel your kitchen.

And Sus...you...

...and Mgala...

...and the little new and I...we are going to have it so nice in our kitchen.

And not only in our kitchen. We are going to feel good all kind of places.

And I don't care where we are...

...as long as I can see your wonderful smile and your beautiful eyes.

There is a lot of other things that I would like to say to you but we have the rest of our life for that...

...so I like everybody to stand up to give a big hurrah for...

...my two girls...maybe three. May they live long...hurrah, hurrah, hurrah...

...hurraaaaah!

- Now I remember why I know you.

Your older brother was called Manse. He was a center forward at Fremad Amager.

He was together with a friend of mine - Vibs.

Vibs?

- Yes...she had a good body...pretty bad teeth...

...with very big ears. Do you remember her?

- Dumbo!

But I don't really remember you.

I didn't say much back then.

So you are the one who got the bride�s bouquet?

- Yes...very exciting...if you believe in that stuff...

What�s your last name?

- I just need to do my master�s thesis.

- Seven years. - I think you'll become a very good psychologist.