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1
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,800
There it is - Munty.
2
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,320
What a dump.
3
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:15,080
We've already said
4
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,920
Goodbye...
5
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:24,000
HOWELL: I'll show you
how to turn water into shoes!
6
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:28,200
Since you gotta go,
oh, you'd better go now...
7
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:32,040
I hereby find the defendant guilty!
8
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,080
Go now, go now
Go now...
9
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,120
Munty Gazette, Munty Gazette.
10
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,320
Find out what the Protector's up to.
11
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,280
Hey, Treebor! How's it going?
12
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:50,280
(CLUCKS)
13
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,600
Yeah.
Got no idea what you're saying, mate.
14
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,560
Anyway, doesn't matter,
because Howell is sending me home
15
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,480
tomorrow, so goodbye.
16
00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:01,280
Or should I say...?
(CLUCKS)
17
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,560
(CLUCKS ANGRILY)
18
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,240
Alright, suit yourself, Nando's.
I'll see you around.
19
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,440
Or perhaps I won't,
because I'm going home.
20
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,680
What's he done now?
21
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,120
He was a good wizard.
22
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,040
Well, he was a wizard.
23
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,920
No!
24
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,040
No, he can't be dead! Not now!
25
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:36,320
That's it Brian, let it out.
26
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,920
It's all part
of the grieving process.
27
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,040
What happened to him?!
28
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,600
I think he just had
one too many rhubarb seizures.
29
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,080
Well, how many did he have?
30
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,520
Oh, God!
31
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,960
One day! One more day!
32
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:58,560
That's all I needed,
you stupid, brain-fried, drunken,
33
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,320
hopeless, stinky old tramp!
34
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,520
Old? I'm only 47.
35
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,960
He's alive!
Yay!
36
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,360
Oh, I thought we'd lost you!
37
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,680
You had me worried there.
38
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,720
Dead customer -
never good for business.
39
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,880
Reminds me of the time when...
Not now, Herman.
40
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,880
I'm fine. I just overcooked it
a little bit, that's all.
41
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,720
You can't do this to me, Howell.
You're my ticket home!
42
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,120
Look, the important thing is -
I've learnt my lesson.
43
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,600
And I will never have
another rhubarb seizure
44
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,720
as long as I live.
45
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,240
Triple brandy, please, Herman.
46
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:35,120
(LAUGHS) Let's get on it!
47
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,800
So, do we have a deal?
Absolutely.
48
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,280
I will get you home
in exchange for...
49
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,160
Ooh, that's a block bag, innit?
50
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,320
(LAUGHS) The Henge.
51
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,880
This, Brian, is the Henge,
52
00:02:55,880 --> 00:03:01,880
built by the Protector to store
massive amounts of magical energy,
53
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,000
Brian.
54
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,600
The Henge was designed
by Simon the Contrary,
55
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:11,000
hence the fact that the stone circle
is in fact made of iron.
56
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,000
Makes sense.
Mm.
57
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:17,520
You and I stand here and here
in the two summoning squares.
58
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,920
Which are triangles.
Classic Simon the Contrary.
59
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:26,560
I pull out my wand, cast the spell
and then unleash the magic
60
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,040
stored within the Henge -
61
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,160
sending you, my friend,
62
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:33,760
home!
63
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,080
Piece of cake.
64
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,720
Sounds good.
Here you go.
65
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:39,920
Are you going to be alright?
66
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,840
Yeah, me? Yeah, I'm alright.
67
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,440
Nothing a little drink
can't sort out.
68
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,120
Well, hang on a minute. Howell!
69
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,080
You were at death's door
this morning!
70
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,400
Can't have you keeling over
halfway through.
71
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,560
Don't worry, Brian,
that's not going to happen.
72
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,920
Not three times in one week.
(LAUGHS)
73
00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:00,440
This, indeed, is my bad boy jacket.
74
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:05,240
Well, I thought I'd dress smart
for my first day...
75
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,320
..in my new job!
76
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:11,000
New job? You've never had
a job in your entire life.
77
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,800
Not true, I...
78
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,200
..guarded the albino pear tree.
79
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,080
Anyway, this is a management role.
80
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:24,600
Competitive pay, generous holidays,
plus complimentary work boots.
81
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,080
Management boots?
82
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,560
Yeah.
83
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,680
What a wonderful day!
84
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,200
You're looking chipper, Barbara.
I am. (LAUGHS)
85
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,600
Hello, Steggy.
86
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,240
Oh, get off!
87
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,360
Ah, I'm just popping in
for a quick drink,
88
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,640
before I meet my tall dark stranger.
89
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,320
Brian?
No, not Brian.
90
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,240
I've been misreading the runes.
91
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,800
I've got a new man in my life.
92
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,000
A dissatisfied customer?
No.
93
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,800
His name's Skoll,
he's from North Skreeland
94
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,960
and he's very incredibly,
extremely nice.
95
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,920
And he works as a guard.
96
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:04,840
(WHISPERS) At the Henge.
(GASPS)
97
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,920
Do I hear the sound
of wedding pipes?
98
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,760
(LAUGHS) Well, it is my destiny,
Herman.
99
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,160
I mean, the runes have spoken.
100
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,480
But do you even speak Skreelish?
101
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:20,160
Nope, we don't need to talk.
We have natural chemistry.
102
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:24,000
We are deeply connected.
103
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,360
I give it a week.
104
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:29,840
Greetings, everyone. I've just
popped in for a bite to eat.
105
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,000
Mystery meat platter?
106
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,120
Perfect! Brian not about?
107
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,880
No?
No.
108
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,120
Oh. In which case, I think
I'll have a little loosener.
109
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,640
Herman, I'd like
a cauliflower snap attack!
110
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:42,760
(THEY LAUGH)
111
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:43,760
Don't give him a drink!
112
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,880
It's just a little one, Brian.
What are you doing?
113
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,640
Ha-ha-ha! Ha!
114
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,200
Right, OK.
115
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:56,680
If even a drop of alcohol
touches your lips,
116
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,640
I will snap this wand in half.
117
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,000
Whoa! Careful now, Brian.
118
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,280
That wand is made
from pure mountain willow,
119
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:08,320
glazed with the tears
of a dying unicorn...
120
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,160
..and you'll get splinters.
121
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,720
You've got to stop drinking,
just for one day!
122
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,680
Alright, I'll do it! I'll do it.
123
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,400
I don't believe this -
Howell's given up drinking,
124
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,080
Steg's got a job,
Barbara's got a boyfriend.
125
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,400
Yeah, and I'm going home. So...
126
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,400
Ah, maybe I should make
a little change.
127
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,320
Get a nice little place by the sea.
128
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,960
Could probably afford it
if I sell that bottle of velvet gin.
129
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,080
(GASPING)
130
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,240
You've got a bottle of velvet gin?
131
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:39,000
Yeah, 500 years old.
132
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,120
Not telling you lot where it is,
though.
133
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,640
It's in the cellar.
134
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:44,680
No.
135
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,120
Mm, a little taste of it.
136
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:50,360
Ah, ah, ah, ah! You are giving up.
137
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,040
It's alright, Brian.
It's not a problem.
138
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,880
This mind is a lot stronger
than you think.
139
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,880
(CLOCK TICKS)
140
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,440
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
141
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,880
How long's it been?
142
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,320
37 seconds.
143
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:17,040
(STRAINS)
144
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:22,400
Contract signed, great to have you
on the management team.
145
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,680
Great to be here.
146
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,640
How are you feeling about working
with us, excited?
147
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,480
Absolutely.
Excellent! Plenty of spirit.
148
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,360
Right,
here are your complimentary boots.
149
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,760
Yes! Thank you.
150
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,040
Shall we get started?
151
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,080
Ah.
152
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:41,200
What, here?
Down we go.
153
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,360
Sorry, in the...
154
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,560
Uh, ugh!
155
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,720
..in the sewer?
156
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,720
Yep. Should be just in time
for the post-lunch rush.
157
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,440
Is this job waste management?
158
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,680
Yes, it is.
159
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:55,960
(GROANS)
160
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,000
Come on, let's get scooping.
161
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,200
I've always wanted to come here.
162
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:09,760
It's so romantic
and the food is lovely.
163
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,840
(IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Gragoon kutook!
164
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,320
Music for the lady?
165
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,280
(GROWLS)
I'll come back later.
166
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,920
Now, I-I know I shouldn't have,
167
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,400
but I have bought you
168
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,520
a little three-day
anniversary present.
169
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,280
I'm not expecting anything back,
but...
170
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:39,120
Muck tak took tak.
171
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,520
It's a Munty phrase book.
172
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:55,520
I thought it might help us
get to know each other.
173
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,720
You. Present.
174
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,760
Yes.
175
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,960
You bunny rabbit.
176
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,120
Oh! (GIGGLES)
177
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,320
Oh.
178
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,240
I think there's been
some sort of mistake.
179
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,440
Boots too tight?
180
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,360
No, boots are fine.
I thought this was a desk job.
181
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:26,000
A desk, in the sewers?
It's much more exciting than that!
182
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000
Right.
183
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,240
Now, you're in luck,
184
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,360
'cause we're going to start
with some turd scooping.
185
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:31,600
Excited?
186
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,720
Excited.
187
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:35,080
Oh, now, look.
There's a blockage just there.
188
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,760
Oh, proper beast, that one is.
In you go.
189
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,640
Sorry, I'm not doing this.
190
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,760
Yes, you are, 'cause you've signed
a legally-binding contract.
191
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,160
There's your net.
192
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,480
Oh, you are keen!
193
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,880
(LAUGHS) Oh, look!
194
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,800
There's a floating Jenny.
195
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,680
That's one for the collection.
196
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:11,880
Come on, my girl, absolute beauty.
197
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:23,200
So the man from the other world,
he's in there, is he?
198
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,520
And we need to find him.
199
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,160
You know what we should do?
We should get a couple of pies.
200
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,720
Why?
So we can blend in.
201
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,000
Not everybody has pies.
202
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,440
Some people do,
we could blend in with them.
203
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,800
Or we could blend in with the people
without the pies.
204
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,640
But this way we get to have a pie.
205
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,080
Get two pies.
206
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,680
Oh, and a jacket potato.
207
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:58,360
Once I get home,
you can have it all back.
208
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,720
Oh, Brian, you poor fool.
209
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:05,480
Do you think that mere ropes
can hold a wizard such as I?
210
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,000
What is this, a double knot?!
Yep.
211
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,520
Ah, Brian!
212
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,520
Brian, I think it's worked.
213
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,520
Yes, yes!
214
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:24,160
The craving for alcohol has left me.
Ah, what a relief.
215
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,480
You did it, thank you.
216
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,680
Untie me
so I can give you a big hug.
217
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,000
You won't mind if I do this, then.
218
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,360
(WHIMPERS)
219
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,760
Hair of the hare.
220
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,080
That's your lot.
221
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,840
Yeah, you found them.
Yep, that's the last bottle.
222
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,720
I can categorically state
that you have found the very last...
223
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,680
Apart from that one.
I forgot about that one.
224
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:49,840
What's this?
225
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,400
It's ink.
226
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,720
With brandy.
That is sick!
227
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,400
You're right, Brian. I am sick.
228
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:03,280
In fact, Brian,
I've only got two weeks to live.
229
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,000
(SOBS) Yeah, it's true.
230
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,640
So, please, just give me
a little bit of gin
231
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,280
to relieve my suffering.
232
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,200
Brian, I tell you what,
233
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,720
lets make a deal, yeah?
234
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,200
You and me.
235
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,600
You tell me what you want,
anything, and it's yours.
236
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,720
You want a sixpack? Yeah?
Nine-pack? You want to be taller?
237
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,160
Yeah?
I'll sort out your wonky teeth.
238
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,240
I will double the length
and girth of your...
239
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,760
I know exactly what I want.
240
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:29,800
Name it.
241
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,640
I want you to live
for the next 24 hours.
242
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:36,000
You have pushed your luck
too far, Mr Whipper.
243
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:40,240
Release me now, or I will kill you!
244
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,040
(SOBS) I didn't mean that Brian!
245
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,320
That's the lack of booze talking.
246
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:48,400
I love you, I love you
like the son I never wanted.
247
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:53,760
Brian, I am a proud man,
and I will not beg.
248
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:57,120
(SOBS) Please, please, please,
I'm begging ya.
249
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,880
I'll see ya tomorrow.
250
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:03,320
Where are you going?
No, Brian, don't leave!
251
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,320
No, no! (SOBS)
252
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,400
(YELLS) No!
253
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:16,200
(ROOSTER CROWS)
254
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,400
Howell...
255
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,960
Today's the big day!
256
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,880
Where are you?
257
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,160
Good morning, Brian.
258
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,760
And what a beautiful,
beautiful morning it is.
259
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,200
Are you drunk?
260
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,680
Drunk on life.
261
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,640
Oh, God, what have you done now?
262
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,360
I've been juicing some nettles.
263
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:59,560
They are so packed
full of nutrients, so invigorating.
264
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:00,720
Have a little sip.
265
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:04,080
Alright, a bit weird.
But you're sober, yeah?
266
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,000
Oh, I'm clean and serene, daddy-o.
267
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,400
Well, that's great! That means
we can do the Henge tonight.
268
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,960
Hm, tonight. I'm not sure.
269
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,600
Hm, yeah, I've got yoga
at the Lake of Serenity,
270
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,840
followed by a spin class.
271
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:25,320
Ah, it is fabulous.
You spin around till you're dizzy.
272
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:30,480
(LAUGHS) It's the most extraordinary
natural high, Brian.
273
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:35,120
No, we need to go to the Henge
tonight, remember?
274
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,800
Remember the super solstice,
all the stored magic?
275
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,600
Yes, about that, you see, I've...
276
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,680
Well, I don't do magic anymore.
277
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:47,000
What?!
I've turned my back on it. Yeah.
278
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:49,680
But...
279
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:53,760
(YELLS)
280
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,760
Well, I've had a lovely day.
281
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,120
I see dwarf.
282
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,680
Oh, look at you with your speaking.
(GIGGLES)
283
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,720
Dwarf is dirty. Steal job.
284
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,720
Oh, I think you've got confused.
285
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:17,880
Er, goblin - dirty.
Goblin is big scum, yeah, big scum.
286
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,960
No, Skoll, you've got to be nice
about dwarves and goblins.
287
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,000
Kill dwarves. Chop goblins.
288
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,240
Elves is...
289
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,400
Oh, no, Skoll, you like elves.
Elves are nice.
290
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,000
Elves is big dirty pig scum!
291
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:37,480
Oh, aren't these toffee pears
lovely.
292
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,480
Mm.
293
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:42,440
Barbara is not pig scum.
294
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,720
Barbara is good woman.
295
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:47,920
Well, that's nice.
296
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,320
Good woman cook food
and wash pants of man.
297
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:55,000
Skoll, we need to talk.
298
00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,840
Listen to me, Howell,
it's the super solstice,
299
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:05,040
where the boundaries between worlds
are at their thinnest.
300
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,720
Very, very thin.
It has to be tonight!
301
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,160
Brian, I could very,
very easily cast a spell
302
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,440
that would send you back
to your own world,
303
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,280
but what would that really achieve?
304
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,680
It would send me
back to my own world!
305
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:24,280
I don't belong here, Howell.
I need your magic.
306
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,640
Magic. Ha! What is magic, Brian?
307
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:31,160
Magic is the beauty of a sunset.
308
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,320
It is the first tottering steps
of a baby deer.
309
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:40,720
It's the soft caress of a snowflake
as it drifts gently down...
310
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:42,960
..onto the cheek.
311
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,160
(GASPS)
Bollocks!
312
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,160
Look, here's your wand.
313
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:48,960
It's just a stick, Brian.
314
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,120
And I've got the spell!
315
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,800
All you need to do is read it out!
316
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,800
I'm sorry, Brian, I'm out.
317
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,760
Oh, and, Brian.
Yeah?
318
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,000
I want to thank you
for opening my eyes.
319
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,800
Look, Howell, I'm a proud man
and I won't beg.
320
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,080
Please, please, please, please,
please, please!
321
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:10,360
Buy one pair, get 17 free.
Everything must go!
322
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,200
Closing down, I'm closing down.
323
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,320
Everything gone pear shaped?
324
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,320
It's just a joke.
325
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,200
Are things not going well?
Quite the opposite, actually.
326
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,200
I'm buying a bigger stall
in Brevitt.
327
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,400
I mean, who wants to spend
the rest of their life in Munty?
328
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,520
Yeah, fair point.
329
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,480
You only get one shot in life.
330
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,480
Sometimes you just have
to go for it.
331
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,320
You know what?
You're absolutely right.
332
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:52,080
It's two halves for Barbara
and a dandelion cordial for Howell.
333
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,360
Thank you, Herman.
334
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,720
And I would like to pay
my outstanding bar bill.
335
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,560
Oh, now you're just scaring me.
336
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,920
Greetings, spongers.
337
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,280
Is this going to take long?
338
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,000
Only I'm on a break.
I've no idea.
339
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,400
Brian said to meet here 'cause
he's got something to tell us.
340
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,160
What is that smell?
341
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:19,280
Ah, hi, everyone.
I'm glad you could all be here.
342
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:20,760
I've got an announcement to make.
343
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,000
I knew it, he's an elf.
344
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,520
Now, as you know,
Howell won't be taking me home.
345
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:30,520
He's made a lifestyle choice,
and it's one that I totally respect.
346
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,160
Thank you, Brian.
347
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,560
So I did some thinking,
348
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,800
and I've decided
that I'm going to go alone.
349
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,080
I've got the wand, I've got the map,
I've got the spell.
350
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,440
I'll either get home or die trying.
351
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,640
So brave!
352
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:49,640
You see, you only really get
once chance in life,
353
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,440
and I think
you've just gotta go for it.
354
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,080
Right, good luck, Brian.
I'd better get back to work.
355
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,720
Oh, there was one other thing.
356
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,160
Ugh.
357
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,800
Seeing as though that this is going
to be our last evening together.
358
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:07,640
I know I'm going to miss you guys,
the gang.
359
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:14,000
I thought it would only be proper
if we had one final drink.
360
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,000
That's velvet gin!
361
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,440
Actually, I do have
a few spare minutes.
362
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,480
I thought I had the only bottle
left in Munty.
363
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,680
Where did you get it?
It's a long story.
364
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,440
Well, tell the story.
365
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,400
Did you win it?
Exactly, yes.
366
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,440
Er, it was a prize.
367
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:34,480
You see, there was this eccentric man
that owned a gin factory
368
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,840
and he put five gold tickets
into a bottle.
369
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,920
Into the same bottle?
No, into different ones.
370
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:45,440
And the five ticket holders
got to go inside the factory
371
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:49,680
and meet the mysterious owner,
Gene Wilder.
372
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:50,840
Were you one of the winners?
373
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:55,400
Yeah, yeah, it was me,
a spoilt boy, a spoilt girl,
374
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,440
another spoilt girl and a fat kid.
375
00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,920
That sounds like the band
you were in!
376
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,640
Steps!
377
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:02,880
Anyway, to cut a long story short,
378
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,880
they all got horrifically maimed
in some way, and I won this!
379
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,720
When did this happen?
380
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,800
This afternoon.
Anyway, pour 'em out, Herman, eh?
381
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,240
(LAUGHS)
One each for everyone.
382
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,080
Ah, no, oh, sorry.
383
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:22,840
Insensitive. No, can we get
a nettle juice for Howell.
384
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,600
That's right, isn't it?
Yeah.
385
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:31,440
Oh, look at that. Healthy.
Oh, there you go.
386
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,920
Thank you, Brian.
It looks good. Hey, proud of you.
387
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,600
Alright, here we go!
388
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,520
ALL: Ho-ho-ho!
389
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,440
Alright!
390
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,880
ALL: Cheers.
391
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:50,680
Oh, that is nice.
Oh! Oh!
392
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,960
That's delicious.
Is it nice?
393
00:20:54,600 --> 00:21:00,720
It's like a rabbit is kissing
my tonsils with a feather,
394
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,520
wrapped in bacon.
395
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,200
It's like being massaged
by a rainbow.
396
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,680
I'm getting burnt almonds
and cherries,
397
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,080
with a hint of licorice.
398
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,240
Mm.
I was going to say that!
399
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:15,400
(LAUGHS)
It's making my legs feel funny.
400
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:21,280
(THEY LAUGH)
Now, that is really...nice.
401
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,120
That reminds me of the time when...
402
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:25,640
STEG AND BARBARA: Not now, Herman.
403
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,680
Actually, perhaps I could...
404
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,320
What's that?
Nothing, nothing.
405
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:34,400
I mean for old time's sake,
406
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,680
perhaps I could...
407
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,600
Well, it's our last chance.
408
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,720
..perhaps have a little sip?
409
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,280
(EXHALES)
410
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:56,640
I might just finish that off.
Please.
411
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,920
You know what would go well
with that?
412
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,120
A pint of wine!
413
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:05,720
Herman, give the man a drink.
414
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,920
Brian, let's hit the Henge!
415
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,200
He's back!
416
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,720
Wait here.
417
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:27,000
Eeeee!
418
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:31,480
Idiot.
419
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,920
Right, this is it.
420
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,960
The entrance
to the Protector's Henge.
421
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,240
There's Skoll...
422
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:41,520
I knew there was some left!
423
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,480
Skoll's alright
about letting us in, yeah?
424
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:46,680
Erm, right.
425
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,600
Erm, I meant to say...
426
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,280
We're on a break.
427
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,400
What kind of break?
A permanent break.
428
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,480
Yeah, but he'll still let us in,
won't he?
429
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,840
I'll go and have a word.
Go on.
430
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,920
It'll be fine, Brian.
100% guaranteed.
431
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,360
Well, high 90s.
432
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:11,840
Hello, Skoll. Erm, I just wanted...
433
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,680
What do you reckon?
434
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,280
(UNINTELLIGIBLE)
435
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,360
Can we come in?
No!
436
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:20,520
Looks good.
437
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,600
We really need to be moving.
438
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,000
Well?
Commitment issues.
439
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,200
OK, but he's still going
to let us in, right?
440
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,760
No.
441
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,680
We've got 10 minutes
to get to the Henge!
442
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:40,960
I know! A simple stunning hex.
That'll do the trick.
443
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,520
It's too close to the Henge.
It's absorbing all the magic.
444
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,960
Herman, you used to be a warrior.
Can't you just...?
445
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:58,320
Leave this to me
and my trusty knife.
446
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:01,720
What's this?
A stapler?
447
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:05,640
It's because the boundary between
worlds has become very, very thin.
448
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,760
Things are crossing over.
449
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,640
What is it?
450
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,800
Well, it uses sort
of small metal brackets to...
451
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,200
Anyway, that doesn't matter,
we need to get in that Henge.
452
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,880
Come on, think.
There must be another way in.
453
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,400
(GRUNTS)
454
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:26,520
Busy day at the office?
455
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,080
Huh?
456
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,280
Oh.
457
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:31,840
Is that my jacket?
458
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,080
Well, that'll brush off.
459
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,560
Hang on a minute.
460
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,960
Ugh, I just stood on
something that crunched.
461
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:50,000
Oh, I just stood on
something that squelched!
462
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,400
It's alright once you're in.
463
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,160
Just when I thought Munty
couldn't get any worse, it does.
464
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,080
I know these sewers
like the back of my hand.
465
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,840
What is that on the back
of your hand?
466
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,280
Huh? Oh, I hadn't noticed that.
467
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,160
Right, we are here.
468
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:13,760
Big.
469
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,120
Come on, Brian.
470
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:18,200
An iron henge.
Typical Simon the Contrary.
471
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,440
Alright, 30 seconds.
472
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,640
Right, Brian you need to get
into the north triangle.
473
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,840
This is it - midnight!
474
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:30,240
The super solstice!
475
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:35,080
I speak to you,
oh, mighty, mighty Henge,
476
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:39,880
and request that you open
a portal
477
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,680
between Munty of the Western Marches
478
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:47,480
and Isleworth, just off the A316.
479
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,720
(THUNDER CRASHES)
480
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,920
This is it! I'm going home!
481
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,400
Herman!
482
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:03,600
It was your velvet gin.
Sorry about that.
483
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,560
I command you
484
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:10,360
to send man home!
485
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,280
Brian, I'm coming with you!
486
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,160
Argh!
487
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,560
I'm still here.
488
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,080
Hang about.
489
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,560
(THUNDER CRASHES)
490
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,280
I think I'm standing
in the wrong triang...
491
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,480
No! No, no, no, no! No!
492
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,480
This is wrong! This is all wrong!
493
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,920
Swapped triangles.
Typical Simon the Contrary. (LAUGHS)
494
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,760
Listen, guys,
we should probably get going.
495
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,320
Let's head to the sewer.
(FLUTTERING)
496
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,240
This way!
497
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,440
The gate!
498
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:58,800
What are you doing here?
You lot are in big trouble.
499
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,440
All bow before the Protector.
500
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:10,280
You have defiled my Henge,
501
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:14,160
and the penalty is death by soup.
502
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,600
And the penalty is death by axe,
503
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,960
with croutons.
504
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,600
No croutons.
505
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,080
Look, I can explain everything.
506
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,600
Actually, it is quite complicated.
507
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,680
I can't explain anything.
508
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:42,040
For months,
I have been preparing this Henge.
509
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,720
I've worked every hour of the day.
510
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,280
I stopped sleeping, washing,
511
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,920
brushing my hair, flossing,
512
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:56,400
I stopped taking off my hat
to make more time for my dream,
513
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,360
my beloved Henge!
514
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:03,120
And now it is ready to fulfil
its purpose,
515
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:06,160
and its purpose, of course, is...
516
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,840
Ah, thank you!
517
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,880
My pleasure.
518
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,840
Hey.
You can't do that to my friends.
519
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,200
We meet at last, Brinan Wifter.
520
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,760
Weaver. Brian Weaver.
521
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,920
I told you that's an I.
522
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,040
My letter. You got my letter!
You came!
523
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,960
Right, time to go.
Go where?
524
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,440
Whoa! What's going on?
525
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,960
Do you like zoos, Brian?
526
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:52,000
Well, I'm not massively keen
on going to a zoo right now.
527
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,560
Oh, we won't be visiting it, Brian,
you'll be in it.
528
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,200
Let's go.
529
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,720
Where are we going?
I don't want to go.
530
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,080
What's going on?
531
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,840
Help!
532
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,720
Right. So who brought this in?
533
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,360
I don't know.
534
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,960
We should send
a health and safety memo.
535
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,320
I mean,
it's completely unacceptable.
536
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,960
..triangle!
537
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,080
Have you come to fix
the photocopier?
538
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,560
Yes.
539
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,920
OK, it's...
540
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,960
Captions by Red Bee Media
541
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,320
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation
38541
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