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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:06,240 When we reach Munty, we find the man from another world 2 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,360 and bring him back. 3 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:09,440 I estimate... 4 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,280 (SNIFFS) 5 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,760 ..another 17 leagues. 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,120 How did you know? 7 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,000 Assassin stuff. 8 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,640 BARBARA: Brian! 9 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,960 Barbara? What are you doing here? 10 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,200 I thought we said our goodbyes last night. 11 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,600 Now, I don't want to worry you, but I have consulted the tarot, 12 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,760 and the cards say that you won't reach your final destination. 13 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,640 Barbara, I'll be fine. OK? 14 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,600 I'll get to the City Of A Thousand Towers 15 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,520 before the solstice, and someone there will send me home. 16 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:57,840 I just need to get my ticket. 17 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,640 Ugh! 18 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:00,920 I just need... 19 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,960 I need to get my ticket, Barbara. 20 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,760 Get my ticket. 21 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:09,560 Oh, erm, I have made you some sandwiches for your journey. 22 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:10,720 They're your favourite. 23 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,880 Cheese? Fish. 24 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,800 Thank you. 25 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:17,760 As I say, I'd better get my ticket. 26 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,720 Oh, erm, and I... 27 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,280 I've written you something. 28 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,840 Now, don't read it now, read it on the coach. 29 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,120 Not now! 30 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,480 One ticket to the City Of A Thousand Towers, please! 31 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:34,520 Certainly, sir. 32 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:35,640 Luxury or standard? 33 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:36,880 What's the difference? 34 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,600 Well, with the luxury class, you sit at the front of the coach, 35 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,640 so you do arrive that fraction earlier. 36 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:42,880 Standard's fine. 37 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,960 OK. And which month would you like to travel? 38 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:48,240 Er, month? Well, now. Isn't there one today? 39 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,440 Sold out. Lady before you bought all eight tickets. 40 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:51,760 Eight tickets? 41 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,680 Yeah, she's travelling with seven dwarves. 42 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,760 Well, couldn't they just... No. 43 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,720 So there's no... No. 44 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,680 Looks like I'm staying. 45 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,280 I'll just take that...that letter. 46 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,120 (QUIETLY) Yay! 47 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,840 Tomorrow, for one night only, the Munty Play. 48 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,800 The greatest show in the Western Marches. 49 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,560 Villains - we've got 'em. 50 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,560 Princesses - yes, please. 51 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,880 Will true love prevail? 52 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,160 And will the king save the day? Find out tomorrow. Thank you. 53 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,000 Pathetic. 54 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:36,920 Come to the play, sir? 55 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,680 Not now, mate. It's one night only. 56 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,160 What are you doing? 57 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,960 I'm a theatre promoter. 58 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,760 You're not, though, are ya? You're one up from a lamppost. 59 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,600 Is that what you want to be? A lamppost? 60 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,560 I did always want to be a woodcutter. 61 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,000 Well, do that! 62 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,720 You don't want to be stuck in Munty, looking like a tit. 63 00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,320 Be free. 64 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,840 Apparently, there's a throck on the loose. 65 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,240 Nasty vicious things. 66 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,000 Must be what went through my bins last night. 67 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,040 Left a right mess everywhere. 68 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,600 There's a reward for catching it. 20 sovs. 69 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,280 Wanted dead or alive. 70 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,920 Ideally dead. 71 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,640 I'm off. Keep the change. 72 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,960 Thanks. Hey, you never paid me! 73 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,480 I need new customers. 74 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,360 Anyone's welcome in my pub. 75 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,760 (WHISPERS) Apart from orcs. 76 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:35,960 What can I get ya? 77 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,760 Pint of salt water, please, mate. 78 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,600 What are you doing here? 79 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,320 Drowning my sorrows. 80 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,160 Getting away from the misery of it all. 81 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,600 Working on that building site for the Protector. 82 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,800 What this - the leisure centre? 83 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,080 What? (LAUGHS) That's no leisure centre. 84 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,320 Cheers. 85 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,240 What is it, then? Sculpture park? 86 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,520 Not another pub, is it? 87 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,520 (BURPS) That's classified information. 88 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,680 Although Krunt knows why I shouldn't tell ya, 89 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,720 the way they treat us. 90 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,000 You know, they think we're just great big lunks 91 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,240 that go round drinking salt water and eating rocks. 92 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,480 Another salt water? Oh, yeah, please, I'm parched. 93 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:09,600 Eh, got any rocks? 94 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,040 No. I'm Steg, by the way. 95 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,840 Maverick, rebel, agitator. I didn't catch your name. 96 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,120 Fffffffkenbub. 97 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,840 Right. 98 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:23,480 Erm, so, they treat you badly, do they, Fff...? 99 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:27,200 Fffffffkenbub. Yeah! Yeah, I got to work 18 hour days. 100 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,880 And on top of that, we've got to use this levelling powder. 101 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,960 Sounds dangerous. Yeah, too right. 102 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,480 Yeah, one of my men, 103 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,760 Rrrrrrrrrbitbot, got his horn blown off. 104 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,720 Well, you should fight back. You, my friend, are being exploited. 105 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,880 I think it's your round. 106 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:49,240 (GROANING) 107 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,360 Are you OK? 108 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,440 It's that vicious throck - came at me with his beak, 109 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,840 caught me by surprise. 110 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,280 Mm. Help me! 111 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,000 I must get back to the Keep. 112 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,680 (GROANS) 113 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:21,040 Erm, your wing's broken. 114 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,440 Does this hurt? 115 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,160 (SCREAMS) 116 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,240 What about this bit? 117 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:29,640 (SCREAMS) 118 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,120 Yeah, just a bit. 119 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,560 So I've got five days to get to the City Of A Thousand Towers. 120 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,120 It's tight, Brian, but there's still hope. 121 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,680 Could I get there by horse? 122 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:39,960 Too dangerous. 123 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,920 What about by ship? Well, maybe. 124 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,320 That's never been tried. 125 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,360 Why not? It's inland, across a desert. 126 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,040 Well that's it, then, I'll never get home. 127 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,360 Of course, there is one way 128 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,000 you could be transported to another world. 129 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,400 Go on. 130 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:59,880 Using the magic...of the theatre! 131 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,800 Oh, I just met these idiots in the square. Awful people. 132 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,960 But what they do is so clever. 133 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,240 They pretend someone's being stabbed. 134 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,080 Then, in the end, they haven't been. 135 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,880 Except for two years ago. 136 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,920 Brutal business, theatre. 137 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,800 The last play I went to see was Hamlet when I was at school. 138 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,040 Four hours long and my arse has never forgiven me. 139 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,560 This is the famous Munty Play! 140 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,560 Specially written each year, 141 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,680 then performed all across the Western Marches. 142 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:27,680 Hang on. 143 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,600 It says here's they're playing the City Of A Thousand Towers! 144 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,040 Their solstice spectacular. 145 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,720 That's how I get there! I'll go with them! 146 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,120 I wonder where they are. 147 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,760 Ah, you know what players are like. 148 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:39,760 They'll head straight 149 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,760 to the cheapest, shoddiest tavern in town. 150 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,360 Greetings, landlord. Three large ales. 151 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,240 Do you take credit? 152 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,520 Allow me. 153 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:51,880 Hello. Hi. 154 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,560 Brian Weaver. 155 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,240 Keep talking. 156 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,680 I dunno what you're talking about! It wasn't me! 157 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,200 You can't prove it anyway! 158 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,640 What is this place? 159 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,960 Just a shop. 160 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,600 Full of lots of perfectly legal things. 161 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,960 Howell, look, it's his wing. 162 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,160 It hurts here. Ow! 163 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,720 And here. 164 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,960 (SCREAMS) 165 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:21,240 Fairy magic. It's very difficult. 166 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,000 Oh, can you help? Oh, please? 167 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,560 Well, I'll give it a go. 168 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,640 Wings heal! 169 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,240 Wings mend! 170 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:38,400 Tricky. Wings fix! 171 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,480 Krunt. 172 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:45,320 Wings, back to how they were in the first place! 173 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:49,440 Ha! There you go. Any better? 174 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,000 (SCREAMS) 175 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,080 Bloody nightmare. 176 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,200 Tom has absolutely left us in the lurch. 177 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,600 What's happened to him? 178 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,720 He's gone. He just left. To become a woodcutter. 179 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,720 Said he was just a lamppost. 180 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,000 (SCOFFS) 181 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,880 Well, without Tom, we've got no-one to hang out the leaflets, 182 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:14,920 or set up the theatre, or cook, or clean, or wash our clothes, 183 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,080 or hand out the refunds. 184 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,000 He didn't even pick up the play. 185 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,680 I could help out. 186 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,440 Huge responsibility, Brian. 187 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,320 Huge. 188 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,680 I could be the new Tom. 189 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,840 I could come with you guys all the way to the... 190 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,480 ..City Of A Thousand Towers. 191 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,240 Well, you'd have to muck out the horses. 192 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,720 And de-louse the wigs. 193 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:36,920 Sounds OK. 194 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,560 And of course you'd have to apply my anti-fungal cream. 195 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,320 Yep, love to. Definitely. 196 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,400 I'm not sure you're up to it, Brian. 197 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,560 Oh, I love the theatre. 198 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,160 Sure. Love it. 199 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,600 And it would be a huge honour to work with you guys. 200 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,040 Plus everyone round here says that you're the best actor 201 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,160 in the whole...area. 202 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:01,640 Mm... 203 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,720 Well, I mean, we're a collective, but I think I can speak 204 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,480 for all of us when I say, welcome abroad, Brian. 205 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:09,520 Welcome to the most important job in showbusiness. 206 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:14,240 See the play, tomorrow night, one night only. 207 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:18,720 Take in a play, sir. The Brevit Players are in town, miss. 208 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,920 Don't forget to see the play tomorrow night. One night only. 209 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:24,840 Play? 210 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,880 Yes? 211 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,400 I'm here to pick up the play. 212 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,800 Excellent. Come in! 213 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,280 Here it is. 214 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,680 Wait! It's not finished yet. 215 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,360 I have been struggling with the ending 216 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,160 for the last three months. 217 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,840 (GASPS)I have it! 218 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,040 The end. 219 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,200 There. 220 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:10,600 The Saga Of Olaf The Bendy. Is there only one copy? 221 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,720 Course. Do you think I'm made of arms? 222 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:23,040 See, the wild throck is attracted into the alley by the cheese. 223 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,880 It then enters into the magical circle, 224 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:31,240 whereupon the petrifying spell is activated, 225 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,480 encasing said creature in a block of granite! 226 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,040 (LAUGHS) 227 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,720 Are you doing pest control now, Howell? 228 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,120 Humane street management, Steg. For money. 229 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,520 In that case, you can pay your... 230 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,040 How does he do that?! 231 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,600 Same again, Herman. 232 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:54,400 After all, I am celebrating with my orc brethren, yes! 233 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,560 Thanks to my leadership, a petition is being presented 234 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,400 to the authorities as we speak. 235 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,360 Those players gone? 236 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,080 Yeah, thank Krunt. They were getting on my nerves. 237 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,600 I thought you wanted more customers. 238 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,280 Not actors, or orcs. Everyone else is very welcome. 239 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,800 (EVERYONE QUIETS) 240 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,680 (GROANS) 241 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:23,240 I'll take a large sherry and two halves of beer, please. 242 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,800 What are you doing bringing a fairy in my pub? 243 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,200 His name's Chestnut, and he's my friend. 244 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,760 Are you mad? Get him out of here. 245 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:35,240 That is very extremely rude, Herman! 246 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,320 Come on, Chestnut, we're leaving! 247 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,840 (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) 248 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,760 (RUSTLING) 249 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,400 Hello? 250 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,320 Who's there? 251 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,080 (THROCK GROWLS) 252 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,640 (THROCK ROARS) Ah, ah! 253 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,560 Oh, no, not the script! 254 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:09,200 (YELLS) No! 255 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,800 Sadness. 256 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,880 Oooh... 257 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,760 Oh, Brian, my boy! Did you get the text? 258 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,600 Oh, erm... 259 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,760 No, there's a slight problem. 260 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,760 What, there's no play? 261 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,480 Well, it's not that important, is it? 262 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,160 I mean, there are loads of plays. 263 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,720 Maybe you could just do last year's one again? 264 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,600 You can't repeat a play! It's treason. 265 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,680 Remember what happened to The Pockle Strollers? 266 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,560 (BOTH INHALE SHARPLY) 267 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,000 So what, why hasn't he written it? 268 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,040 He's written it. He's written it, has he? 269 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:46,320 He's written it, he's just making sure that it's really good. 270 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,320 Mm-hm. 271 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,560 So he will definitely have it done by tomorrow. 272 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,080 Tomorrow? We're on tomorrow. 273 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,440 Morning, tomorrow morning. 274 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,640 Yeah, we're...we're rehearsing from 7am! 275 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:59,240 Exactly! That's when he'll do it. That's when it'll be here. 276 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,520 Uh-huh? Yep. 277 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,360 Well, a bit more leafleting, then, from you, isn't it? Right? 278 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,800 Off you pop. 279 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:13,000 Yeah, uh, Brian, are these wigs going to de-louse themselves? 280 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,560 No. No? 281 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,480 Oh. Oh, oh, right! Yeah. 282 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,520 Bit quicker. 283 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:25,800 Door! 284 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,280 Pompous! 285 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,920 Pompous?! How am I pompous? 286 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,440 Oh, right. 287 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,440 Alright, Bri? No. Really no. It's the play. 288 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,520 Ah, can't wait. The entire town'll be there. 289 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:48,840 And the Protector, he never misses it. 290 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:53,840 Well, funny story, the play sort of got totally destroyed. 291 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,520 What?! But the entire town'll be there! 292 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,000 And the Protector, he never misses it. 293 00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,360 I know! 294 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,640 Now I need to rewrite a whole new version 295 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:02,840 by tomorrow morning 296 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,320 or bang goes my lift to the City Of A Thousand Towers. 297 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:09,480 Do you know anything about The Saga Of Olaf The Bendy? 298 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,920 Love that story! It's a classic! 299 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:16,280 Alright, Brian, get this down. 300 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,280 Now, there's these three brothers who go off to get their fortune. 301 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,800 Now, Olaf, the eldest brother, he goes off to this golden palace. 302 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,840 No, it's not three brothers. It's three palaces. 303 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,560 Course, that's it. Yeah. 304 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:31,680 Inside the gold palace is a dragon, silver one has a witch. 305 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,600 And in the third palace there's a princess. 306 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,960 What was that made of? I want to say...biscuits? 307 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,320 Anyway, Olaf tricks the dragon into eating the witch. 308 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,040 No, no, no. The princess tricks the dragon. 309 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,560 So where does the frog come in? Well, the frog turns into a dragon. 310 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:44,680 Who eats the biscuits! 311 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,960 No, no, no. The princess eats the biscuits. 312 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,160 Oh, forget it. No, no, no. It's always the frog! 313 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,480 No. I'll do it myself. 314 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,600 It was the frog who's watching, and the dragon... 315 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,200 There we go. 316 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,880 Oh, what's the point? 317 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,480 I can't fly. My fairy days are over. 318 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,200 Stay positive! 319 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,400 Let me read your palm. 320 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,960 This is your lifeline. 321 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,200 There's a fork. 322 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,360 Oh! 323 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,960 I see a big decision ahead. 324 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,640 Oh? 325 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,320 I'm not sure what this line is. 326 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,040 It's a scar. Got it from punching someone. 327 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,200 Well, I'm sure you had your reasons. 328 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,400 Nah. 329 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:36,640 What's this one? 330 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,520 Another scar. This one? 331 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,760 That's a scratch, but it'll probably become a scar. 332 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,880 Well, at least your heart line is strong. 333 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,600 (BONES CRUNCH) Too tight. 334 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,480 Oh, sorry. (LAUGHS) 335 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,440 (EXHALES) Sorry. 336 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:09,160 And now...we wait. 337 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,640 Yonder lies the Gold Palace. 338 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,400 Will I save the princess and be the hero? 339 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,640 Be... 340 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,200 To be or not to be, that is the question. 341 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,920 (ROOSTER CROWS) 342 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,520 Argh! 343 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,280 Krunt! 344 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,560 Hm. 345 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,360 Double Krunt. 346 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,760 (SIGHS) 347 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,440 (CLOCK DINGS) 348 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,000 Well, a very interesting take on the Saga Of Olaf The Bendy. 349 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,240 Is it? 350 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,080 Yeah. Pretty edgy stuff. 351 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,320 Yeah, well, Fenton said that he wanted to give you guys 352 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,080 something more challenging, 353 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,640 as you were the best actors he's ever worked with. 354 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,160 Those were his words. 355 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,040 He's a bloody good writer. That's Fenton. 356 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:51,480 Well, I think it's time we got it on its feet 357 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,840 and add some meat to the bones. 358 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,960 I'll let you get on with it. Sure. 359 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,920 Oh, well, what about the fishmonger scene? 360 00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:58,920 What? 361 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,520 There's always a funny fishmonger scene. 362 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,800 Oh, yeah. No, oh. 363 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,440 Yeah, Fenton's dropping that this year, so... 364 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,920 He's dropping the most popular part of the play, is he? 365 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,160 No. No? 366 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:17,280 No, not the most popular, but he's going to drop it off later. 367 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,400 Oh! Oh! Yeah. 368 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,760 Dropping it off? Yeah, yeah. He's working on it now. 369 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,000 He's just making it really... 370 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,720 It's going to be so funny. Great. 371 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,960 A funny fishmonger. Yeah. 372 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,880 Yeah. How can it not be? 373 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,320 Exactly! Well... 374 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,480 Excellent. Alright. 375 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,560 Well, in that case... 376 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,720 Anti-fungal cream, and on we crack. 377 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,520 I am absolutely furious! 378 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,360 (GROWLS) 379 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:47,440 Large glass of salt water, please, mate. Extra salt. 380 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,720 Everything alright? 381 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,520 We all signed that petition, yeah? 382 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:56,720 Me, Rrrrrginbob and Thhhheeebojab 383 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:57,760 and Heee... 384 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,000 Skip the names. 385 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,360 We gave it to the Protector and he threw it back in our faces! 386 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,640 Guess how much he's cut our larva rations by? 387 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:06,760 Half? More. 388 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,880 A third? No wait, that's less. 389 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,880 No, all of it. (GASPS) 390 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,560 Now we've got no rations and we've got no breaks. 391 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,080 He's put us on half pay. I give up. 392 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,360 No! Never give up! You've got to fight back. 393 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,680 Show the Protector he can't treat you that way. 394 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,080 But how? 395 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,440 You know that levelling powder? 396 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,520 Yeah, I can't work without it. 397 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:34,200 What if it accidentally disappeared? 398 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,280 Oh! 399 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,160 I like it, yeah. Yeah. 400 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,480 Yeah. Yeah. 401 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,120 I'm going to do it. Thanks, Steg. 402 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:50,040 Yeah, my pleasure, Fffffffkenbub. 403 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,520 Stupid name. Yep. 404 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,120 Oh, Chestnut! 405 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,600 Ooh, what a lovely big bunch of flowers. 406 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,000 I know, I'm starving. 407 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,160 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 408 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,880 Oh, look how much better your wing is. 409 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,360 You'll be flying again in no time. Yeah. 410 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,040 (FLUTTERING) 411 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,240 Oi, Chestnut. Where you been? 412 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,760 His wing's broken! 413 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:20,240 Fairy with a broken wing. You disgust me! 414 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,080 Hand over your prisoner. 415 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,480 She's not a prisoner. Her name's Barbara. 416 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,240 And she's my...friend. 417 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,560 Friend? Punch her! (GASPS) 418 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,720 Come along, Barbara. We don't have to listen to this. 419 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,760 Mock them! 420 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,120 Bad fairy! 421 00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:42,840 Why don't you fly away? Oh, I forgot, you can't! 422 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,720 (ALL LAUGH) 423 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,840 Ah! (CLICKS TONGUE) 424 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,160 Get up! There you go. Steady. 425 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,720 Steady. 426 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,960 That's it, yeah. 427 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,200 And stop! 428 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,160 (LAUGHS) Yes! 429 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,640 (FOGHORN SOUNDS) (LAUGHS) 430 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,480 I thought you were going to catch the throck? 431 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,440 What and miss the play? 432 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,040 Never! 433 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,920 I put a spell of irresistibility on a piece of cheese. 434 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,280 If the trap is triggered, this'll go off. 435 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:53,600 Ruler of the Western Marches, the gardener of all human happiness, 436 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,560 his serene masterfulness, 437 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:01,000 bow your heads for the Lord Protector! 438 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,520 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)(HORN PLAYS) 439 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,480 (HORN CONTINUES) 440 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,400 (HORN CONTINUES) 441 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,800 Silence! 442 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,480 Thank you. 443 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,200 Clap! 444 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:31,600 Start the play! Now! 445 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,360 Break a leg. What? 446 00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,800 Break a leg. Why would you say that? 447 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,600 Ah, Olaf, my son, 448 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,760 it's time for you to go out into the world and seek your fortune. 449 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,760 Yes, Father. 450 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,920 Yonder there are three palaces made of gold, 451 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,640 silver and possibly biscuits. 452 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,640 Inside these, you'll find some of the following - 453 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,840 witches, princesses, dragons and frogs - so look out for them. 454 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,920 I will, Fa... Good lad. 455 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,680 To be or not to be, that is the question. 456 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:09,320 Yes, that is the question. A very good question. 457 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,440 Elementary, my dear Olaf. 458 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,480 Once you have removed everything else, 459 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,320 what's left has to be the answer. 460 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,480 They do say that life is like a box of chocolates, 461 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,760 you never know what you're going to get. 462 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,320 (LAUGHTER) 463 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:27,120 Olaf, you must leave the gold palace before the Dark Lord arrives. 464 00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:29,400 So we meet again, young Olaf! 465 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,560 I used to be like you. 466 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,200 Now I'm your master. 467 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:37,400 Produce your light stick. 468 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,400 (AUDIENCE GASPS) 469 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,760 You murdered my father. 470 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,480 No, Olaf, I am your father. 471 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,320 (AUDIENCE GASPS) 472 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,840 So maybe you're going to be the one that saves me. 473 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,560 But after all, you're my wonder wall. 474 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,720 And then we danced all night to the best song ever. 475 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,440 I think it went - oh, oh, oh. 476 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,960 I think it went - yeah, yeah, yeah. 477 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,920 It was the best song ever. 478 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:18,840 I think it's time to go to the fishmongers! 479 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,560 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 480 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,000 I'm going to wipe that smile off his face. 481 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,040 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 482 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:39,760 You call that a hake? (AUDIENCE CHEERS, LAUGHS) 483 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,360 It might be time to leave now. 484 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:52,600 Huh? 485 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,160 Well, I've done what you suggested. 486 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,920 I've stuck a whole keg of levelling powder 487 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,480 under the Protector's chair. 488 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,760 Boom! What?! 489 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,680 (GASPS) Look, it's healed! 490 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,480 Doesn't matter. I'm never going back. 491 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,200 I'm done being a fairy. 492 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,800 I want to be with you, Barbara. 493 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,720 Steg, what are you doing? 494 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,680 Trying to find a way out. 495 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,880 Why? You know, just do a bit of shopping. 496 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,160 What? 497 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,480 Plus there might be a bomb in the building. 498 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,960 Might?! 499 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,360 Is. Uh... 500 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,360 Lovely jubbly. Olaf, you plonker! 501 00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:46,880 Listen! Listen, everyone! 502 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,120 We've got to get out of here. 503 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:49,760 There's a bomb in the theatre! 504 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,760 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) No, I'm being serious! 505 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,000 This place is going to blow sky high! 506 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,720 (LAUGHTER) 507 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,400 HYSTERIC: We're all going to die! 508 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,720 (LAUGHING INTENSIFIES) 509 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,720 (EXPLOSION) 510 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,720 What's that? Levelling powder, at the theatre?! 511 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,680 That's a category one incident. 512 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,480 Still, nothing to do with me. 513 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,800 Go, Chestnut. They need you. 514 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,280 Go and be a fairy. 515 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,400 I'll never forget you, Barbara. 516 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,280 (SIGHS) Bye. 517 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,080 The coach?! 518 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,520 No matter. 519 00:26:55,520 --> 00:27:00,600 But how are we supposed to get to the City Of A Thousand Towers? 520 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,480 Yeah, but don't you see, Brian? We don't need a coach. 521 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:09,080 We can go anywhere we like using the magic of theatre! 522 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,400 Fuck off! 523 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:16,360 Somebody here has tried to assassinate the Protector, 524 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:19,640 and therefore is guilty of treason. 525 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,800 (FOGHORN) I'm going to find out who that is. 526 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,440 (FOGHORN) 527 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,000 And by the time I'm finished with you all... 528 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,680 (FOGHORN) What is that noise?! 529 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,080 It's me, sorry. 530 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,600 (FOGHORN) 531 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:35,400 (FOGHORN STOPS) 532 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:36,760 Caught the throck. 533 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,320 There's a few sovs coming my way. Shut it! 534 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:40,640 Sorry, sorry. 535 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,560 Now, I want to know who did this. 536 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,960 Here's the guilty party! 537 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,680 I grabbed him as he was being attacked by this throck. 538 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:51,920 I knew you could do it, Chestnut. 539 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,360 Shut it! 540 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,040 Welcome back, Chestnut. 541 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,720 Now, don't let anyone out. 542 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:03,280 So if that's the throck, what's eaten my cheese? 543 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:16,200 I've got to say, you did a brilliant job on that play, Brian. 544 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,800 Loved the barman character. What an idiot! 545 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,440 Where did you get your ideas from? 546 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,760 You cost me my reward money. 547 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,600 Don't blame me, blame Barbara's boyfriend. 548 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,200 He's just a friend. 549 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,880 Well, I did get a reward from the Protector 550 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,200 for saving his life, 551 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,800 so drinks are on me. 552 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,240 You are alright, Brian. I have always said so. 553 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:36,720 Top it up, Herman. 554 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,400 What's this? 555 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:44,280 It's a petition. Look at their stupid orc names. 556 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:48,720 Thhhhpepor. (LAUGHS) 557 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,040 Oh, what's this drawing on the back? 558 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:58,320 That's the Protector's building plans. 559 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:03,480 (GASPS) He's building a henge! 560 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,320 Capable of storing vast amounts of magic. 561 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:12,840 Isn't a vast amount of magic exactly what I need to cross worlds? 562 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,120 A powerful blast of magical energy from the henge, 563 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,360 coupled with the super solstice, plus a large fee... 564 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,120 Brian! 565 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,440 I think I can get you home. 566 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,360 And we danced all night 567 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,760 To the best song ever 568 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,480 We knew every line 569 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,680 Now I can't remember 570 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,600 How it goes but I know 571 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,520 That I won't forget her 572 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,480 'Cause we danced all night 573 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,640 To the best song ever 574 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:41,640 I think it went "oh, oh, oh" 575 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,440 I think it went "yeah, yeah, yeah" 576 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,960 I think it goes 577 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,240 Whoo! 578 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,120 Best song ever 579 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,920 It was the best song ever. 580 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,920 Captions by Red Bee Media 581 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,920 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation 40613

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