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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,280
And the pears have fallen
from the tree
2
00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:08,400
The pears have fallen
from the tree
3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:12,040
The juicy pear,
the lovely pear...
4
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:15,440
Pear cakes! Lovely pear cakes!
Get your pear cakes here.
5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,920
Pears be with you!
6
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,280
Pears be with you.
7
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,760
There you go, love,
pears be with you.
8
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,680
May your pear juice be sweet.
9
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,480
Ooh, pin the stalk on the pear, sir?
10
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,640
Win a pair of pears? Yeah? No?
11
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:37,400
Herman, is there something
going on with pears?
12
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:41,240
It's All Pear's Eve, Brian.
Isn't it exciting?
13
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:42,960
Pears be with you.
14
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,160
Then you say,
"May your pear juice be sweet."
15
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,400
OK, I'm gonna come out and say it.
Are pears that great?
16
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,240
You've never experienced
a Munty Pear Fair,
17
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,240
still the biggest and the best.
18
00:00:56,240 --> 00:01:00,360
Right.
Yeah, in your face, Pockle, losers.
19
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,280
Come on, Bri, you know,
seven days till the Solstice.
20
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,160
No, I don't know.
21
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,720
You must know about the presentation
of the albino pears.
22
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:10,760
How would I?
23
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,400
It's the highlight
of the whole fair.
24
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,800
The health of the whole town
25
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,080
is linked to the sacred
albino pear tree.
26
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,840
You know the rhyme?
No.
27
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:22,520
If the pear tree dies,
Munty lies...
28
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:23,680
..in ruins.
29
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,600
What, you mean it could
get worse than this?
30
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,080
Oh, busiest time of the year,
I've been rushed off me feet!
31
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,160
Well, can I get a job?
All covered, thanks.
32
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,040
I need the money to get to
the City of a Thousand Towers.
33
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,120
It's my ticket out of here.
34
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,760
You could always be
Mr Apples in the Pear Parade.
35
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,960
What does he do?
Gets pelted with pears.
36
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,720
There must be an easier way
to make money.
37
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,240
Well, there's always a game
of cards, they're playing now.
38
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,000
Really?
39
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,000
Don't interrupt the game,
they've been playing all night.
40
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,880
Yeah, I'll be alright.
Slasher's in there.
41
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,120
Yeah, I'll wait.
42
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,920
Drinking on duty, Howell?
43
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:13,480
Uh, no, Slasher,
this is a cheat detecting potion.
44
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,240
(WHEEZES)
45
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,080
All clear.
46
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:28,200
Right, time to bid. 50 sovs.
47
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,240
Zelda?
48
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,040
I'm in.
49
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,120
Tribor?
50
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,080
Bwok, bwok?
No.
51
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,080
Aw.
52
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,200
Steg.
53
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,680
What's the matter, Steg?
You chicken?
54
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,040
(ANGRILY) Bwok, bwok, bwok!
Language.
55
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,360
Bwok, bwok.
56
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:52,040
Do warriors beat barbarians?
No.
57
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,440
It's too late, Steg,
you put your money in.
58
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,320
Well, I didn't quite put it in,
I was just...
59
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:57,600
Steg!
60
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,080
(HISSES)
61
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,920
Kevlar, you in?
62
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:09,840
Hmm, well, hang on,
I better check with the family.
63
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,360
Uncle Derrek's been outvoted,
we're in.
64
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:17,640
Reveal.
65
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,920
And that, I believe, is quint.
66
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,640
Pleasure playing with you, Steg.
67
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:33,200
Nothing nicer than taking money
off people to a cup of pear brandy.
68
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,760
Pears be with you.
Pears be with you.
69
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:40,040
Looks like it's only
you and me, Kevlar.
70
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,160
Good idea, Aunty Susan.
71
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:43,320
We'd like to double the stake.
72
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,200
Thus splitting
the organisation into two halves,
73
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,040
the Seers' Guild of Munty
and the Munty Seers' Guild.
74
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,000
They remerged later that day.
75
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,120
Correct!
76
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,560
OK, final question.
77
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,720
What is the soothsayer's moto?
78
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:03,920
Never tell, always foretell.
79
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,040
Yes!
80
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,800
I'm going to
get into the Seers' Guild!
81
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,200
How come?
82
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,840
There's a special exam tomorrow
because of the Super Solstice.
83
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,600
Yeah, what is that?
84
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,400
It's when the Solstice
coincides with the full moon.
85
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,560
Hardly ever happens.
86
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,800
All I have to do
to get into the Guild
87
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,360
is memorise
the Complete History Of Soothsaying,
88
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,000
and I have done that.
89
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,800
Well, you've certainly
memorised Volume One.
90
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,960
Sorry?
91
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,680
Volume One.
92
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,080
Not got the others?
93
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,800
Crunt!
94
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,520
Your bet.
95
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,720
Better just check with my wife,
and ex-wife. Awkward!
96
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,480
Bit frosty.
97
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,680
We're in.
98
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,720
(SLURPS DRINK NOISILY)
99
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:03,360
Sorry.
100
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,240
OK. I'll meet you.
101
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,280
Reveal.
102
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,280
Three candles. Quint.
103
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,000
Um...
104
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,080
Full platoon.
105
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,080
Uber quint. (CHUCKLES)
106
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,600
Bad luck, Morgan,
it's just the way it goes sometimes.
107
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,120
Exactly, Uncle Derrek.
108
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,280
I've got to go,
I got a table for six booked.
109
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:51,240
I demand a rematch tomorrow night,
double the stakes, just you and me.
110
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,200
What, all of us?
111
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,680
(SLURPS NOISILY)
112
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:57,680
Sorry.
113
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,240
You're on.
114
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,320
I'm completely cleaned out.
115
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,680
It's just that, when we play it,
warriors always beat barbarians.
116
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,320
Pint, please, Herm.
117
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,200
I thought you said
you were all cleaned out.
118
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,200
Yeah, but come on, it's Pear Fair.
119
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,640
True. Happy Pear Fair.
120
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,640
Yeah, so, drink on the house!
121
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,400
No.
122
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,600
Pear Fair. It's all commercial now.
123
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,640
Right, so I've got two candles,
124
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,120
a barrel and a plough.
125
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,040
So that's a rustic quint, right?
126
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,160
Without a pitchfork?
That's not even a half quint.
127
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,160
You'd be wiped out.
128
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,120
I thought this was supposed to be
an easy way to make money.
129
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:44,600
(DOOR OPENS)
130
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,280
Happy All Pear's Eve, gents.
What can I get you?
131
00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:48,840
Pear juice, pear cider?
132
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,720
Don't talk to me about pears.
133
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,440
It's a disgrace, that's what it is.
134
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,200
I've never been sacked
from a job in my life.
135
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,920
Sacked? Where from?
136
00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,680
The pear orchard.
137
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,720
You worked at the pear orchard?
138
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,280
Guarding the albino pear tree.
139
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:07,160
Oh! Brian, these guys are famous!
140
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:11,200
Not anymore. Sacked.
The day before Pear Fair.
141
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:12,560
When everyone's on triple time.
142
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,080
Bang goes our Pear's Eve bonus.
143
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,720
What did you get sacked for?
144
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:20,160
I've no idea,
they're looking for new guards now.
145
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,400
Well, fellas,
these are on the house.
146
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,720
Cheers.
147
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,200
You must have some great stories.
148
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:36,320
Well, one time,
it was the middle of the night,
149
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:37,960
we heard a rustling in the bushes.
150
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:41,680
We thought it might be an intruder,
but it was just a wind.
151
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,040
Wow! (CHUCKLES)
152
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,760
Of course, if it was an intruder,
153
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,920
we would have had to escort them
off the premises.
154
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,600
Which is something
we easily could have done.
155
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,440
Easily.
156
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,840
That's amazing.
What about that, hey, Brian?
157
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,160
Brian?! Brian?!
158
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:03,000
Right then, my creepy friend,
one quarter of mortice leaf
159
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:07,120
and a clump of Struthian lavender,
five sovs.
160
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,120
Ah, call it six.
161
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,040
Five.
Oh.
162
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,160
Howell,
the Complete History Of Soothsaying,
163
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,240
you didn't tell me there was
more than one volume!
164
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,840
You didn't ask.
Well, how many are there?
165
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,240
Two.
166
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,160
Oh, thank crunt for that,
I'll just take Volume Two.
167
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,440
It's massive!
Yeah.
168
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,000
And the type's tiny!
Yes, it is.
169
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,880
I've got to learn it all
by tomorrow.
170
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,040
Indeed.
Oh!
171
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,320
Happy All Pear's Eve, may pear...
172
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,120
Out.
Yeah.
173
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,480
(DOOR CLOSES)
Everything alright, Slasher?
174
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,840
No, Howell, it isn't alright.
175
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:47,840
Oh.
176
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,760
I never lose at cards!
177
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,400
You know what I'm going to do?
178
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,520
Retail therapy?
Everything full price.
179
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:57,800
I'm going to win tomorrow's game.
180
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,440
Oh, good for you.
181
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,800
With your help.
Oh.
182
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:06,560
You're going to win me the game
with an undetectable magical spell.
183
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:07,840
Ooh.
184
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,280
Sounds risky.
185
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:12,640
Yeah.
186
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,400
Not as risky as saying no.
187
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,000
What did you make of the interview?
188
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,160
Easy.
189
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,400
Easy peasy.
190
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,640
Done much of this sort of thing?
191
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:33,960
Yeah, 20 years pear work
plus five general tree guarding.
192
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,840
Yeah, no, same. Probably more...
(DOOR OPENS)
193
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,720
Listen up, after a rigorous
interview procedure,
194
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,640
I've chosen new pear guards.
195
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,080
Would the following
please step forward?
196
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,920
Brian Weaver.
197
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,080
CROWD: What?
198
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,120
Unbelievable.
199
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,880
And the second successful candidate
here is...
200
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,240
(CROWD GRUMBLES)
201
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,480
Steg Stegson?
Yes!
202
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,600
What?
203
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,920
This way.
204
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,520
(CROWD GRUMBLES)
205
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,520
Right, Herman,
I think I've cracked it.
206
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:13,280
A completely undetectable
repicturing spell.
207
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,680
No wand required.
208
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:22,760
Now, I bet you one large
Gentlemen's Frenzy
209
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:27,880
that my four cards
will beat your four cards.
210
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,400
Turn them over.
211
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,560
Completely undetectable
repicturing spell!
212
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:35,880
(CLEARS HIS THROAT)
213
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,760
Blanks. That's totally undetectable.
214
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,640
Blanks.
215
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,680
Ah! Crunt.
216
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,280
Wow.
217
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,720
There it is.
218
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:54,000
The famous Munty albino pear tree.
219
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,320
Beautiful, isn't it?
220
00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:01,320
And all we have to do is
watch this tree for one night?
221
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:05,680
That's it.
Remember, if the pear tree dies...
222
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:08,400
Munty lies...in ruins.
223
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,720
Yeah, we know.
224
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,480
On no account
do you leave the orchard
225
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,120
until your shift finishes
at eight o'clock tomorrow morning.
226
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,840
Rations on the table
if you need them.
227
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,880
Pay, 20 sovs plus bonus.
228
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:21,960
Yes!
229
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,120
Half up front.
230
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,760
Get the rest
when you clock off, understood?
231
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,760
Yeah, great.
Thanks.
232
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:32,680
So, your watch begins. Attention!
233
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,200
Munty is relying on you.
234
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,720
Did he go?
Think so.
235
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,240
Shall I go
and check out the rations?
236
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,640
Yeah, we'll go and...
237
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,560
They've got brandy! Bottles of it.
Blimey!
238
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:58,200
And they've got snacks.
239
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,080
Nice!
240
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:04,440
Is this alright, us just digging in?
241
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:09,400
Yeah, of course it is,
you heard him, they're our rations.
242
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,480
Cheers.
243
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,160
Ooh, that is strong.
244
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,400
Salty.
245
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,160
(SIGHS)
246
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,720
You do realise, Brian,
that right now
247
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,000
we are the most important people
in the whole of Munty.
248
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,280
And we've got another
10 sovs coming our way.
249
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,520
Plus bonus.
250
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,360
Top up?
Yeah.
251
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,440
Oh, look, cushions.
And blankets.
252
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,680
Cushions and blankets,
best job ever.
253
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:51,120
Happy days.
254
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:56,000
(HEAVY BREATHING)
255
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,160
(WATER SPLASHING)
256
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,280
What are you doing?
257
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,360
I'm just watering the tree.
258
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,240
The snacks are so salty.
259
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,040
How much brandy is there left?
260
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,080
It's all gone.
261
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,120
I think I might do
some watering myself.
262
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,280
I think I'll do a bit more marching.
263
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,320
(LAUGHS)
264
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,920
(GROANS)
265
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,400
Card, change.
266
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,720
Crunt!
267
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:40,760
(DOOR OPENS)
268
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,920
Howell, I am in real trouble.
269
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,080
Me too.
270
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,920
I'm only on page four and
I'm still on the list of contents.
271
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,360
Sorry, Barbara, little bit busy.
272
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,880
Little bit trying-not-to-get-killed
busy, if you must know.
273
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,800
Oh, bang goes the Seers' Guild.
274
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,560
I can't remember it all!
It's a nightmare.
275
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:02,240
Slasher Morgan is going
to pulverise me unless I...
276
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,360
What did you say?
It's a nightmare.
277
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,760
Before that.
Bang goes the Seers' Guild.
278
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,360
After that.
I can't remember it all.
279
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:16,080
That's it! (LAUGHS)
280
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:21,040
Why am I trying to fix the cards
when I can fix the person?
281
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,800
Slasher just needs her memory
charmed so she can count the cards.
282
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,640
Barbara, I am a genius.
283
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,040
Now, what would Shelborne
say about it all?
284
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,080
Let's have a look-see.
285
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,120
"The tincture of dog warts..."
Yeah, makes sense.
286
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,480
"Emulsify." Yeah, it's just
a question of calibration.
287
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:46,320
Howell. Howell! What about my exam?!
288
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,240
I'm going to need a guinea pig
to try it out on.
289
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,600
Barbara.
Mm?
290
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:59,560
I have a proposal which may well be
to our mutual benefit.
291
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,440
I must say I feel a bit tired.
292
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,120
I've got an idea.
293
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,120
Why don't we guard the tree
but just sitting down?
294
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,600
Just... We'll guard it, you know,
sitting down, just sitting.
295
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,840
Ah, I'll take the first shift.
296
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,800
Would you...?
297
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:22,960
Oh!
298
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,720
Sh!
299
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,840
Don't worry.
300
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:34,000
I'll just stand here
and I'll check the tree.
301
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,320
(SNORES)
302
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,600
Ready?
Ready.
303
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:51,760
I have removed one item
from the tray.
304
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,040
Can you remember what it is?
305
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,720
The cloth.
306
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,280
Uh, no, on the tray.
307
00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,760
Oh.
308
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,600
The thimble.
309
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,600
No, the thimble's still there.
Oh.
310
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,880
Ooh, a bottle.
311
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,400
There wasn't a bottle.
312
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,040
Hmm, oh.
313
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,760
Oh, I don't know, I give up.
314
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,440
It was this.
315
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,440
Oh! Yes.
316
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,720
I think I'm going to have to
crank up the dosage.
317
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,920
Woof. (LAUGHS)
318
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,480
Ow!
319
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,200
My throat's dry.
320
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,680
That's weird.
321
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,960
Steg.
322
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,200
Steg, wake up!
Eh!
323
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,480
What's the matter?
324
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,960
You know the albino pears?
325
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,520
Yeah, yeah.
326
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,000
Are they supposed to turn black
and drop off?
327
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,200
No.
328
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,200
Not like this, then?
Crunt!
329
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,640
They've all come off.
330
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,440
How?
What happened?
331
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,920
All I can remember is...
You pissed on the tree!
332
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,000
Well, so did you.
333
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,960
But only because you gave me
all that brandy to drink!
334
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,280
Well, you ate all the salty snacks.
335
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,240
We have poisoned
the albino pear tree!
336
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,040
When the pear tree dies,
Munty lies...
337
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,480
..in ruins.
338
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,360
OK, look, we've got 90 minutes
until our shift ends,
339
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:32,480
what shall we do?
340
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,400
Be sick.
341
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,000
(VOMITS)
342
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,760
OK, 89 minutes.
Right, how about this?
343
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:45,440
We go and find some ordinary pears,
dunk them in Herman's white paint,
344
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:49,200
stick them back on the tree,
no-one will ever know the difference.
345
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,680
Brilliant.
The pears are in the warehouse.
346
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,720
Let's go.
Yeah.
347
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,920
Oh!
348
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,920
Actually, I'm just gonna be
a little bit more sick first.
349
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,080
"The following year,
Lord Montague decreed
350
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,760
"that all soothsaying
should be outlawed,
351
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:09,600
"a directive that led to the great
winter fortune-telling shortage
352
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,400
"as foretold by the great seer,
Wallace the Wise."
353
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,840
Word perfect.
354
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:20,280
Now, that is a cracking
bit of potion making.
355
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:24,520
Barbara, congratulations, you're
as good as in the Seers' Guild.
356
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,680
Whoo-hoo! Ooh.
357
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:33,760
(CHURCH BELLS RING)
358
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,400
OK, let's give this a go.
359
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:52,520
Here.
360
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,240
What do you think?
361
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,880
It's not bad. I think
we'll get away with this.
362
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,200
Give me a bit more light. Oh!
363
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,320
Ah!
Agh!
364
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:13,920
BOTH: Agh! Agh! Agh!
365
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,680
OK, Brian, now what?
366
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,120
Run away?
367
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,920
(HUMS HAPPILY)
368
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,520
Happy Pear Day.
Pears be with you!
369
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,080
Not now, Herman.
Youse alright?
370
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,040
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we're good, we're good.
371
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,080
Yeah, we're fine.
We're fine.
372
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,080
Yeah.
373
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:33,320
Uh, we just need to...
Need to, uh...
374
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,040
..head out the back...
Back.
375
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,960
..and check on something.
On something. Yeah.
376
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:41,800
Finished.
377
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,320
Time to start celebrating, Barbara.
378
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,840
Yes, I am as happy
as Martha the Canny,
379
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,880
leader of the second
Soothsaying Council, was
380
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,200
when her universal system
for tea leaf symbology
381
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,680
was formally adopted.
382
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,840
Eh? Yeah! Good luck.
383
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,440
(HUMS HAPPILY)
384
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,240
Happy Pear Day!
385
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,360
Hardly.
386
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,680
Not when the albino pear tree
has been poisoned.
387
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:06,720
What?
388
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,600
Never happened on our watch.
We never lost a single pear.
389
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,040
If we had, we would have simply
logged it in the lost pear book.
390
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,320
But there was no need
'cause it never happened.
391
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:21,200
Well, if the pear tree dies,
Munty lies...
392
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,920
BOTH: ..in ruins!
393
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,480
It's already started.
394
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,360
Pear warehouse
has gone up in flames.
395
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:29,280
Every single pear in Munty
has been destroyed.
396
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:35,240
Nooo!
397
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,360
Yes.
398
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:52,040
"Write down half the population of
Struth and 78% of its soothsayers."
399
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,960
Um, more paper please.
400
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,920
Ladies and gentlemen,
quills down, please.
401
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,720
I'm afraid the Pear Fair
has been cancelled.
402
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,400
"The treaty of the seven armies
came into force..."
403
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,200
This exam is now null and void.
404
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,280
"..commonly known as
the Plague of Cows."
405
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,240
Sorry, could you stop writing,
please?
406
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,720
"The runic alphabet was..."
407
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,080
Stop it! Stop it!
408
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,880
I...I can't. Help me!
409
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,800
Pears be with you.
410
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,360
Two men have been seen
in this vicinity
411
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:39,880
suspected of poisoning
the albino pear tree.
412
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,840
Death is too good for them.
413
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:45,160
Correct, Chestnut.
Search the premises.
414
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,280
Best day of the year ruined.
415
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,440
It's the little kiddies
I feel sorry for.
416
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:54,440
I agree.
417
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,520
Shut it!
418
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,880
Sorry, it's just been
a very difficult time.
419
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,160
Pear sherry?
420
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:07,200
That's very kind.
Make it a large one.
421
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,000
Shut it! Here we are.
422
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,560
Two guilty men.
423
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,080
Found them hiding in the cellar.
424
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,680
Brian, Steg? There must be
some kind of mistake.
425
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,280
They're wearing
the pear guard uniform.
426
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,080
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
427
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,200
That would never happen
on our watch, ever.
428
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:24,760
Follow me.
429
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,680
STEG: Herman. No, Herman.
I'm innocent!
430
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,800
BRIAN: No, it was an accident.
It was a mistake!
431
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,280
I...I can explain.
Ow!
432
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,040
Please!
I'm an innocent man.
433
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,400
Yes.
434
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,120
Those are the two men I hired,
435
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:38,800
they must have poisoned the tree
and then run away.
436
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:39,920
Thought so.
437
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:41,720
We didn't just run away, we just...
438
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,240
Look, basically, he's in charge.
Steg!
439
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,640
Shut it!
440
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,160
Right, take them to the cells
and prepare the punching machine.
441
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,760
Maximum spike?
442
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:53,920
Of course.
443
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,720
Uh, one moment.
444
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,120
Are you completely sure it was
these men who committed the crime?
445
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:00,440
Of course it was.
446
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,760
Only I'm beginning to remember
a few things that are bothering me.
447
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,800
WARDEN: Take them away.
448
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,200
Do I know you?
No, of course not.
449
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,160
That's what I thought.
450
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:15,040
Only I remembered we have met before
in Howell's shop just 24 hours ago.
451
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,280
I didn't see your face,
452
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,120
but I remembered your boots.
453
00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:20,720
Red lizard skin. Very distinctive.
454
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,760
What were you buying?
455
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,480
Um, I can't remember.
I can.
456
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:30,320
Mortice leaf,
and a clump of Struthian lavender.
457
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,800
Two completely innocuous ingredients
458
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,680
but, as I know from
the Complete History Of Soothsaying,
459
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,800
page 658, paragraph three,
460
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,680
"When combined
they create a lethal tree poison."
461
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,920
(MURMUR)
462
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,200
Not only that,
but on the following page
463
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:49,960
there is reference to a side effect,
a very specific side effect.
464
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,160
"A livid rash." Check his palms.
465
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:55,880
(CROWD GASP)
466
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:56,960
A rash!
467
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:01,000
And we have to ask ourselves,
why the warden
468
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:05,120
would fire two excellent,
experienced guards
469
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:07,760
and replace them with two idiots.
470
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:08,800
Thanks.
471
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,200
Not only that
but two people the warden knew
472
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,440
wouldn't be able to resist
the offer of free drink,
473
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:18,160
hence the smell of brandy on
their breath at 7:57 this morning.
474
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,840
We just need to head to the...
To the back.
475
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,720
..back there and...
BOTH: ..check on something.
476
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,840
I don't understand why someone
from Munty would poison the tree.
477
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,720
They wouldn't.
But what if they were from...
478
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,240
..Pockle?
(CROWD GASP)
479
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:37,600
Yes, the perfect way to ruin
the Munty Pear Fair,
480
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,400
especially if you are one
of Pockle's elite Pear Guard,
481
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,560
identified by
the pear and coiled snake tattoo
482
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:45,880
on the left forearm.
483
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:48,760
Well, well, well.
484
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,320
This man is a fraud.
485
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:56,240
He's even wearing a fake beard.
486
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:57,400
Ow!
487
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,280
OK, that's not
but everything else is true.
488
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,000
Yeah, I did try and kill the tree.
489
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,880
I hate the Munty Pear Fair.
490
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:10,800
I wanted Pockle to be the best,
especially on the Super Solstice.
491
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,200
Pockle will always be second best.
CROWD: Yeah!
492
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,040
You probably burned down
the warehouse as well.
493
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,320
BOTH: Yeah.
No, I never.
494
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,240
Of course you did, you Pockle scum!
495
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,720
You'll never take me alive.
496
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,240
Take him away. Alive.
497
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:28,800
Thank crunt for that,
498
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,760
I thought we'd killed the tree
when we pissed on it.
499
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:31,840
What?
500
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,040
Nothing.
501
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,720
Barbara, oh, you were brilliant.
502
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,840
So, Barbara could remember all that
because of your potion?
503
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,240
Absolutely.
504
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:49,480
Barbara, what happened to
the fifth head of the Seers' Guild?
505
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,840
Ruled for 97 years
and eventually died of boredom.
506
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:53,840
Correct.
507
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,040
You'll be able to remember the
position of every card in the pack.
508
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,480
It's definitely undetectable?
509
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,280
100%.
510
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,280
Oh, very good, Howell.
511
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,280
Maybe I'll keep you alive after all.
512
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:28,520
Oh.
(DOOR OPENS)
513
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,600
Well, we're here.
You ready for the game, Slasher?
514
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,040
Never readier, Kevlar.
515
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,480
Bring me a bottle
of pear brandy, Herman.
516
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,000
Your bet.
517
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,440
(CHUCKLES)
518
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,880
Well, we might as well
all have some pear brandy.
519
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,120
No-one else is gonna drink it now.
520
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:14,720
This is the worst Pear Fair ever.
521
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,240
Speak for yourself, Herman.
522
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:18,880
I reckon I've got enough money now
523
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,840
to get me to
the City of a Thousand Towers.
524
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,280
Oh.
You alright, Barbara?
525
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:28,560
Yes! I'm just sad about not getting
into the Seers' Guild.
526
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,240
Oh, don't worry, Barbara.
527
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,800
The good news is we've got
a perfect memory potion ready
528
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,440
for the next Super Solstice,
529
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,280
in about 103 years' time.
530
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,640
What's so great
about the Super Solstice anyway?
531
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,520
Lots of weird stuff happens.
Meteor showers, midsummer blizzards.
532
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,360
The thing is, the boundaries
between worlds, Brian,
533
00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:50,080
become very thin, very, very thin.
534
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,720
Well, hang on a minute.
535
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,320
Well, can't I use that
in some way to get me home?
536
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,360
Possibly. You'd still need some
pretty heavy duty magic, though.
537
00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:01,320
Well, that's decided then,
538
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,280
I'm heading to
the City of a Thousand Towers
539
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:06,360
before the solstice and finding
someone there who can send me home.
540
00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:08,680
But the solstice
is less than a week away.
541
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,080
Um... (SWALLOWS)
I don't think that...
542
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,440
(RETCHES)
543
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,520
You alright, Barbara?
544
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,320
ALL: Ooh!
545
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:26,880
Oooh. That's interesting, Barbara.
Your tongue's gone very thick.
546
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,640
Very thick.
547
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,320
The memory potion must be
reacting to the pear brandy.
548
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,320
Ha! The memory potion.
549
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:38,720
Pear brandy.
550
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:41,360
Oh, no.
551
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,080
Slasher!
552
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,200
Uh-oh, we're in trouble
553
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,680
Something's come along
554
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:50,440
And it's burst our bubble
555
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:51,440
Yeah, yeah
556
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,120
Uh-oh, we're in trouble
557
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,840
Something's come along
558
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,680
And it's burst our bubble
559
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:58,680
Yeah, yeah
560
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,200
Uh-oh, we're in trouble
561
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:02,760
Gotta get home
562
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,440
Quick march on the double
563
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,640
Uh-oh, we're in trouble
564
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,840
Trouble, trouble, trouble...
565
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:13,040
Yeah, yeah
566
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:14,040
Uh-oh.
567
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,080
Captions by Red Bee Media
568
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,080
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation
39808
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