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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,074 Telling ya Herman, it's a win-win situation. 2 00:00:05,099 --> 00:00:07,192 You get more customers, and I get paid. 3 00:00:07,997 --> 00:00:09,731 I don't need another cook. 4 00:00:10,224 --> 00:00:11,253 Yeah, but... 5 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:13,278 I've got food from another world. 6 00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:15,215 Boiled eggs. 7 00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:17,895 Scrambled eggs. 8 00:00:20,442 --> 00:00:21,819 Fried eggs. 9 00:00:21,844 --> 00:00:25,217 - We have all those. - All right, beans on toast then. Whatever. 10 00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:28,506 - It's gotta be better than your fish pie. - Rubbish. I just made a new one. 11 00:00:28,531 --> 00:00:30,849 To be fair, Herman, food isn't your strong point. 12 00:00:30,874 --> 00:00:33,208 Along with beer, and running a pub. 13 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,800 Where'd you get the towels? 14 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:44,770 Right! That's me. I'm off for a herbal thresh. 15 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,533 I have a romantic engagement scheduled. 16 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:50,286 - Not Sally Slobs? - Slobes! It's Sally Slobes. 17 00:00:50,302 --> 00:00:52,965 - From the sewers? - She doesn't work in the sewers anymore. 18 00:00:52,997 --> 00:00:55,004 Anyways... an-ons. 19 00:00:55,778 --> 00:00:56,978 [SIGHS LOUDLY] 20 00:00:58,278 --> 00:01:00,906 Oh come on, Herman. I'll be the best cook you've ever had. 21 00:01:00,914 --> 00:01:02,850 [SIGHS] All right. 22 00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:04,773 I suppose we can give it a go. 23 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:05,811 Promise? 24 00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:08,584 A warrior's word... is his bond. 25 00:01:08,609 --> 00:01:09,609 Yes! 26 00:01:10,542 --> 00:01:11,609 Budge up, munts! 27 00:01:16,983 --> 00:01:20,056 That's 1 Sov, please. Good luck in the competition! 28 00:01:21,077 --> 00:01:22,544 - Hello! - All right? 29 00:01:24,911 --> 00:01:26,115 Type of creature? 30 00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:28,310 - Pear. - Ah! That's not a pet. 31 00:01:28,335 --> 00:01:30,170 How dare you? Watch this. 32 00:01:31,089 --> 00:01:32,708 Sit! 33 00:01:32,733 --> 00:01:33,933 And stay! 34 00:01:34,684 --> 00:01:37,816 There, hmm? Well, I'll put him down. 35 00:01:37,841 --> 00:01:39,041 Her. 36 00:01:39,059 --> 00:01:41,575 Right. Well just don't get your hopes up. 37 00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:43,450 Yeah... Good girl. 38 00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:53,389 Spare a drink for an old thug? 39 00:01:53,968 --> 00:01:55,168 Svedd..? 40 00:01:55,906 --> 00:01:57,125 Svedd! 41 00:01:57,150 --> 00:02:02,179 BOTH: Face the foe, feel the fear, run towards the enemy waving a sword, 42 00:02:02,204 --> 00:02:03,977 and hit him 'til he's dead. 43 00:02:03,985 --> 00:02:05,665 For glory! 44 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,191 - What happened to your hand? - A run-in with a mountain goblin. 45 00:02:10,207 --> 00:02:12,455 Well... 100 of them. 46 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:13,480 Killed the lot. 47 00:02:14,011 --> 00:02:15,211 Funny thing... 48 00:02:16,066 --> 00:02:17,583 They were on our side. 49 00:02:17,608 --> 00:02:18,762 Great story. 50 00:02:18,787 --> 00:02:21,521 I made this beauty myself. Check it out. 51 00:02:22,397 --> 00:02:23,834 6 fingers. 52 00:02:24,576 --> 00:02:27,172 Nice one. This calls for a drink. 53 00:02:27,197 --> 00:02:28,597 So how have you been? 54 00:02:29,069 --> 00:02:30,069 Tough times. 55 00:02:35,119 --> 00:02:37,452 You've done all right for yourself. 56 00:02:38,556 --> 00:02:41,223 Well... it's always quiet at lunchtimes. 57 00:02:42,243 --> 00:02:45,750 To you and me, and the Mage War Mountain Unit 58 00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:49,657 For glory! 59 00:02:51,055 --> 00:02:52,322 Greetings, Barbara. 60 00:02:52,337 --> 00:02:53,984 Ah, Slasher. 61 00:02:54,009 --> 00:02:56,750 So you are the judge this year... 62 00:02:56,775 --> 00:03:01,215 Indeed I am! Very extremely exciting. 63 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,793 Oooh! 64 00:03:02,818 --> 00:03:05,597 This must be the famous Kimberly. 65 00:03:05,622 --> 00:03:07,770 7 times winner! 66 00:03:07,795 --> 00:03:10,348 [LAUGHS] [PET GROWLS AND BITES] 67 00:03:10,373 --> 00:03:13,045 She hasn't had her num-nums yet, have you Kimberly? 68 00:03:13,053 --> 00:03:15,419 TOGETHER: Ahhh... 69 00:03:15,444 --> 00:03:16,744 Erm... 70 00:03:17,628 --> 00:03:21,377 That'll be, err, 1 Sov please, Slasher. 71 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,735 You can take it out of my winnings. 72 00:03:25,661 --> 00:03:29,128 ["QUAND ON N'A QUE L'AMOUR" BY JACQUES BREL PLAYING] 73 00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:38,957 [TRAP DOOR SLAMS] Steg! 74 00:03:38,982 --> 00:03:39,981 Ah, Sally. 75 00:03:40,005 --> 00:03:41,840 Sorry I'm late. I had to come straight from work. 76 00:03:41,865 --> 00:03:43,502 I thought you got a new job. 77 00:03:43,519 --> 00:03:46,665 I do! I got promoted to major blockages. 78 00:03:46,690 --> 00:03:49,197 So where are we going? Your local? 79 00:03:49,222 --> 00:03:53,940 I... thought, seeing as that it's such a nice day, we could eat outside. 80 00:03:53,956 --> 00:03:56,751 Out by the dock, somewhere... breezy. 81 00:03:56,776 --> 00:03:59,517 Oh! That sounds lovely. 82 00:03:59,542 --> 00:04:01,594 - Name? - Kevlar. 83 00:04:01,619 --> 00:04:02,805 and my wife, 84 00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:04,086 and my ex-wife, 85 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:05,539 and my aunty Susan, 86 00:04:05,564 --> 00:04:07,704 and my son's just moved back in with us. 87 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:09,915 He's an artist. 88 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,994 Well, hello everybody! 89 00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:14,486 Err, type of creature? 90 00:04:14,503 --> 00:04:16,245 Song Toad. [TOAD RIBBITS] 91 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,200 Go on, Wilson. [TOAD CLEARS THROAT] 92 00:04:19,744 --> 00:04:24,189 [TOAD SINGS BEAUTIFUL OPERATIC MELODY] 93 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:30,640 Wow! 94 00:04:32,074 --> 00:04:34,525 [TOAD SINGS HIGH-PITCHED NOTE] [GLASS SMASHES] 95 00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:37,377 Oh, I think we might have found a contender. 96 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,589 Here's 5 Sovs. 97 00:04:39,722 --> 00:04:41,300 Keep the change. 98 00:04:43,273 --> 00:04:44,473 Ooh. 99 00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,163 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 100 00:04:50,404 --> 00:04:53,670 All right. I have been to the market, and I'm... 101 00:04:58,692 --> 00:05:02,186 - Customer. - Brian, this is Svedd. 102 00:05:02,211 --> 00:05:03,617 An old warrior mate of mine. 103 00:05:03,625 --> 00:05:07,069 - Woah! What is that? - Made it myself. 104 00:05:07,094 --> 00:05:08,094 6 fingers! 105 00:05:08,984 --> 00:05:10,524 Right... 106 00:05:10,549 --> 00:05:13,509 Anyway, you are going to love this. Shepherd's Pie. 107 00:05:13,534 --> 00:05:15,930 Thing is, Brian, there's a bit of a problem. 108 00:05:15,955 --> 00:05:17,689 It's okay, it's not spicy. 109 00:05:17,721 --> 00:05:20,321 I've sort of... given the job to Svedd. 110 00:05:29,802 --> 00:05:32,739 Right. It's just that you did promise the job to me. 111 00:05:32,755 --> 00:05:36,348 - He's a bit down on his luck. - I thought a warrior's word was his bond. 112 00:05:38,882 --> 00:05:40,889 Hang on... why don't you both do it? 113 00:05:41,827 --> 00:05:44,955 What with your extra finger, and your... 114 00:05:46,159 --> 00:05:47,564 apron. 115 00:05:47,589 --> 00:05:49,032 It'll be great. 116 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,057 The dream team. 117 00:05:55,387 --> 00:05:57,495 Oh! Err, Slasher. 118 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,720 Ladies... 119 00:05:59,575 --> 00:06:01,206 These are for you. 120 00:06:01,231 --> 00:06:02,620 Ah! 121 00:06:02,645 --> 00:06:04,698 Crystallised nettles? 122 00:06:04,723 --> 00:06:07,063 How very extremely nice. 123 00:06:07,088 --> 00:06:08,470 They're not from me. 124 00:06:08,495 --> 00:06:10,628 - Oh. - They're from Kimberly. 125 00:06:12,433 --> 00:06:14,940 Ha. Thank you Kimberly. 126 00:06:14,965 --> 00:06:16,440 After you. 127 00:06:16,465 --> 00:06:17,998 Make way for the judge! 128 00:06:19,188 --> 00:06:23,374 Okay, so I think the way to make this work is, basically, 129 00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:25,273 I'll do all the cooking, 130 00:06:25,298 --> 00:06:28,563 and you can knock yourself out doing all the cleaning and washing up and whatnot. 131 00:06:28,572 --> 00:06:32,265 But I used to cook for the men when we were out on campaign. 132 00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:33,929 Fried grass. 133 00:06:33,954 --> 00:06:36,078 Fried grass! That... 134 00:06:36,103 --> 00:06:37,103 sounds tasty. 135 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:39,944 Is something burning? 136 00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:46,064 [SIGHS] 137 00:06:46,232 --> 00:06:49,502 Tell you what. How about we have a little contest? 138 00:06:49,527 --> 00:06:51,330 Settle this man to man. 139 00:06:51,355 --> 00:06:53,244 Like warriors? 140 00:06:53,269 --> 00:06:54,398 You're on. 141 00:06:54,423 --> 00:06:56,090 Okay, we each cook a meal, 142 00:06:56,095 --> 00:06:57,390 Herman tastes it, 143 00:06:57,415 --> 00:06:59,601 whoever's made the nicest food, 144 00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:00,656 could be me, 145 00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:03,904 could be you. Fried grass, eh? Gets the job. 146 00:07:03,929 --> 00:07:06,873 And the loser is the kitchen lackey? 147 00:07:06,898 --> 00:07:07,898 Exactly. 148 00:07:08,893 --> 00:07:12,291 - A warrior's word is his bond. - Good on ya. 149 00:07:14,594 --> 00:07:15,594 You've, err... 150 00:07:16,156 --> 00:07:18,423 set your hand on fire again there. 151 00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:21,880 Let's crack on then, shall we? 152 00:07:21,904 --> 00:07:24,668 - My regular order. You know my routine. - Of course. 153 00:07:24,693 --> 00:07:27,371 Magical tusk enhancer, 154 00:07:27,396 --> 00:07:30,028 tail curlant, plus 155 00:07:30,053 --> 00:07:32,895 special cheesy treats. [LAUGHS} 156 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:37,095 I'm very confident the win number 8 is safely in the bag, Slasher. 157 00:07:37,104 --> 00:07:38,104 [SNAPS FINGERS] 158 00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,258 Actually... 159 00:07:41,283 --> 00:07:46,046 I might need something extra, this year. 160 00:07:46,071 --> 00:07:48,063 No point leaving anything to chance. 161 00:07:48,071 --> 00:07:49,071 Absolutely not. 162 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:54,287 May I suggest, for a very minimal financial uplift, 163 00:07:54,312 --> 00:07:58,640 some porcine pep-tonic, and some de-tarnishing cream. 164 00:08:00,031 --> 00:08:01,231 Ooh! 165 00:08:02,173 --> 00:08:03,773 I'll be back in an hour. 166 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,039 I love the pet show! 167 00:08:08,064 --> 00:08:10,649 Okay, here we go. Now, Herman this is mine. 168 00:08:11,884 --> 00:08:16,084 Shepherd's pie. Absolute pub classic. Guaranteed crowd-pleaser. 169 00:08:20,783 --> 00:08:22,508 - Mmm! - Yeah. 170 00:08:22,533 --> 00:08:24,904 - Not bad. - Well, pace yourself, 171 00:08:24,929 --> 00:08:27,637 okay, cos you've got... whatever this is coming up next. 172 00:08:27,662 --> 00:08:29,983 Svedd, do you want to show him what you've managed? 173 00:08:30,905 --> 00:08:36,630 Wild rabbit, with a medley of forest mushrooms, and a side of fried grass. 174 00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:38,789 Fried grass. That takes me back. 175 00:08:41,641 --> 00:08:42,641 Mmm! 176 00:08:43,391 --> 00:08:44,391 Mmm! 177 00:08:45,539 --> 00:08:46,539 Mmm... I'll... 178 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,854 have some more of that. 179 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,912 - Where did you get the rabbit from? - Oh, I sniffed it out. 180 00:08:53,921 --> 00:08:55,825 This man... 181 00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:58,184 he could sneak up, kill anything. 182 00:08:58,186 --> 00:09:01,520 And that's why we call him... the Shadow of Death. 183 00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:03,355 Nice one, Svedd. 184 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,074 Unlucky, Brian. 185 00:09:06,099 --> 00:09:11,230 All right Brian, I want the pots scrubbed, the floor swept, 186 00:09:11,255 --> 00:09:14,418 and the veg peeled, chopped, and diced. 187 00:09:14,443 --> 00:09:16,376 - All right, keep your hand on. - Now! 188 00:09:20,466 --> 00:09:22,399 I've never known it so still. 189 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,958 Where's the breeze? 190 00:09:26,104 --> 00:09:30,043 Anyways, later on why don't we go down to the Munty baths, 191 00:09:30,068 --> 00:09:31,768 and have a bit of a scrub-down? 192 00:09:31,792 --> 00:09:34,861 Oh, no. The baths are so unhygienic! 193 00:09:34,886 --> 00:09:36,711 All those people sitting on things naked, 194 00:09:36,736 --> 00:09:38,429 and you don't know where any of them have been. 195 00:09:38,455 --> 00:09:39,655 Yeah... 196 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,724 It's so lovely to see you again, Steg. 197 00:09:46,731 --> 00:09:49,769 - I thought of you at work today. - Really? 198 00:09:49,794 --> 00:09:52,480 - We had this massive blockage... - Here come the drinks! 199 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,512 Ooh, lovely. Mine's a chocolate floater. 200 00:09:54,531 --> 00:09:55,948 [DISGUSTED] Ahh! 201 00:09:55,973 --> 00:09:58,973 Ooh, that looks great, doesn't it? Thank you. 202 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,638 Howell. Lovely to see you. 203 00:10:02,663 --> 00:10:04,264 - All right mate? - Everyone says hello. 204 00:10:04,288 --> 00:10:05,280 Oh yeah? 205 00:10:05,296 --> 00:10:07,631 - Especially my ex-wife. - Oh, lovely. 206 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:12,009 So... do you know that it's the Munty Pet Show this week? 207 00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:14,892 Hmm... yeah, it rings a vague bell. 208 00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:18,657 We're very keen. Wilson, our Song Toad, does well. 209 00:10:18,682 --> 00:10:21,159 Comes in the top... one. 210 00:10:21,184 --> 00:10:25,262 We're thinking perhaps you could help with a little magical makeover? 211 00:10:25,278 --> 00:10:29,209 Well, I have to say, Kevlar. That does not sound strictly legal to me. 212 00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:33,108 I don't think I could... say no. That's a fat bag! 213 00:10:33,124 --> 00:10:35,124 - Leave it with me. - Good. 214 00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:43,267 Two more satisfied customers. Isn't it great? 215 00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:45,978 Not really, no. That Svedd. He's a bit... 216 00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,561 - You know. - He's fine. He's a lovely bloke. 217 00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:51,985 Just don't mention Deadwood Gorge. 218 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,099 We were surrounded by goblins. 219 00:10:55,124 --> 00:10:56,124 Freezing cold. 220 00:10:57,267 --> 00:10:59,907 The only way to keep warn was by burning all our clothes. 221 00:11:00,915 --> 00:11:01,915 Next day? 222 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,030 We were even colder. 223 00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:09,983 - Yeah, but Herman... - Table 4's waiting, Brian. 224 00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:14,150 [PLATES AND CUTLERY CRASH TO THE FLOOR] 225 00:11:14,175 --> 00:11:16,175 Herman, come and look at this. 226 00:11:16,714 --> 00:11:20,480 I've got flowers, and toffee pears, and 227 00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:23,575 jewellery, and perfume, 228 00:11:23,593 --> 00:11:24,910 [SPRAYS PERFUME] 229 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:27,285 Agh! That's strong! 230 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:30,306 - Where's all this from? - Entrants to the Munty Pet Show. 231 00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:32,970 It really does bring out the best in people. 232 00:11:32,986 --> 00:11:35,009 You do know why people are giving you this stuff, don't ya? 233 00:11:35,018 --> 00:11:37,251 - Because they like me. - It's bribes, Barbara, 234 00:11:37,276 --> 00:11:40,469 They're trying to influence you. It's all rigged. Sally was saying so. 235 00:11:40,494 --> 00:11:43,339 - Is that your ex-girlfriend? - No no, we're going on a 2nd date. 236 00:11:43,364 --> 00:11:45,564 She can't get enough of The Steg. 237 00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:47,532 Bribes?! 238 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:51,537 That is very extremely awful. 239 00:11:51,562 --> 00:11:53,295 I don't want any of it. 240 00:11:54,398 --> 00:11:56,123 Actually... 241 00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,077 I could take this off ya hands. 242 00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:02,897 Service up! Two pies, one pork without sauce, one fish with extra sauce, 243 00:12:02,905 --> 00:12:06,701 two rabbit purines, one hare salad without pear. 244 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:10,022 - Now! How long for table 2? - Err, which one's that? 245 00:12:10,047 --> 00:12:13,538 - The double kidneys! Come on, Brian! - Ahh, do you know what? 246 00:12:13,563 --> 00:12:16,716 I've had enough! Okay? I quit. 247 00:12:16,741 --> 00:12:18,209 I don't think so, Brian. 248 00:12:18,233 --> 00:12:21,500 - Get back to your post. - All right, steady on. 249 00:12:22,147 --> 00:12:23,710 It's only cooking. 250 00:12:23,735 --> 00:12:29,135 It's not like we're... tracked by goblins, having to set fire to our own clothes. 251 00:12:31,165 --> 00:12:32,498 Deadwood Gorge... 252 00:12:38,403 --> 00:12:40,604 Stay with me, Brian. 253 00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,167 I need you now. 254 00:12:42,192 --> 00:12:43,925 If we stand still, we die. 255 00:12:44,843 --> 00:12:46,997 - Bit weird. - They're out there! 256 00:12:47,022 --> 00:12:49,600 They're out there, we'll fight 'til the last man. 257 00:12:49,616 --> 00:12:50,732 Here they come! 258 00:12:50,757 --> 00:12:52,522 Kill the goblins... 259 00:12:52,547 --> 00:12:54,225 Kill them! 260 00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:56,943 ...place is buzzing! Guess who just booked. 261 00:12:56,968 --> 00:12:59,427 Only Quincy Peacock from the Munty Gazette. 262 00:12:59,443 --> 00:13:02,067 He gives us a good review and we are made. 263 00:13:02,075 --> 00:13:03,275 My dream team. 264 00:13:06,206 --> 00:13:09,455 This is it Brian. You and me against the world. 265 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,924 We win, or we die trying. 266 00:13:13,738 --> 00:13:17,518 There is no escape. 267 00:13:17,543 --> 00:13:18,855 [WHIMPERS] 268 00:13:23,822 --> 00:13:26,134 I believe you have a reservation for me. 269 00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:28,367 Quincy Peacock. 270 00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:31,024 Mr Peacock. I have the perfect seat for you. 271 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,668 Not near the door. 272 00:13:34,601 --> 00:13:36,593 - How about near the fire? - Too hot. 273 00:13:36,601 --> 00:13:39,999 Ah ah ah, here. Perfect. 274 00:13:41,505 --> 00:13:42,505 Hmm. 275 00:13:43,201 --> 00:13:48,316 The landlord flapped around, feebly, like a pigeon on a troll's mouth. 276 00:13:48,341 --> 00:13:50,854 How something to start? Brian! 277 00:13:50,879 --> 00:13:52,324 [SOMETHING SMASHES] Ow! 278 00:13:54,704 --> 00:13:56,610 Herman. Can I have a word, please? 279 00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:58,751 Not now. This is Quincy Peacock. 280 00:14:00,165 --> 00:14:01,665 The famous critic. 281 00:14:03,439 --> 00:14:06,351 Oh! Oh yeah, here. There you go. 282 00:14:06,376 --> 00:14:10,625 The boy just seemed as confused as a troll reading a book. 283 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,509 - Get back to the kitchen! - Bring me the specials. 284 00:14:13,517 --> 00:14:16,064 I hardly need remind you. One bad review from me, 285 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:19,441 and the restaurant could close faster than a troll leaving a bookshop. 286 00:14:23,528 --> 00:14:24,528 Oh, please. 287 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,000 Drink while you're waiting? 288 00:14:27,731 --> 00:14:31,440 Right Kevlar. All your Song Toad essentials. 289 00:14:31,465 --> 00:14:36,076 Some voice enhancing nostrum. Should bring out a lovely vibrato. 290 00:14:36,101 --> 00:14:39,334 Some throat lozenges, and how about 291 00:14:39,359 --> 00:14:43,413 some fast-acting wart cream for extra warts? 292 00:14:43,438 --> 00:14:45,554 Yeah? I'll go get some! 293 00:14:45,579 --> 00:14:48,445 Thank you Howell. We're all very grateful. 294 00:14:49,141 --> 00:14:50,808 Especially my ex-wife. 295 00:14:53,915 --> 00:14:55,358 Kevlar... 296 00:14:55,383 --> 00:14:56,383 Slasher... 297 00:14:56,985 --> 00:14:59,030 One pot of fast-acting... 298 00:14:59,055 --> 00:15:00,389 [DOOR SLAMS SHUT] 299 00:15:02,672 --> 00:15:05,070 Fast-acting..? 300 00:15:06,766 --> 00:15:08,375 Pile... cream. 301 00:15:11,148 --> 00:15:13,882 It's not for me. It's for my Uncle Derek. 302 00:15:14,704 --> 00:15:17,304 - What brings you here, Slasher? - Me? 303 00:15:18,837 --> 00:15:20,641 I... came... for... 304 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:23,540 Your... 305 00:15:24,236 --> 00:15:25,807 - Cream? - Cream. 306 00:15:25,832 --> 00:15:30,198 Ointment, tonic, and cheesy treats, 307 00:15:30,223 --> 00:15:31,588 For... 308 00:15:31,613 --> 00:15:32,913 your... 309 00:15:33,937 --> 00:15:34,937 piles. 310 00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:38,804 We're throwing everything at it! 311 00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:44,122 So. Everyone's got all the pile products they need. 312 00:15:44,147 --> 00:15:47,137 I would avoid spicy food, 313 00:15:47,162 --> 00:15:50,833 and try not to sit on cold, hard surfaces. 314 00:15:50,858 --> 00:15:54,401 If it's still there on 2 days time, I would seek proper... 315 00:15:54,409 --> 00:15:56,205 medical... 316 00:15:56,230 --> 00:15:57,230 advice. 317 00:16:02,805 --> 00:16:04,138 I hate the Pet Show. 318 00:16:04,719 --> 00:16:05,719 [DOOR SLAMS] 319 00:16:09,188 --> 00:16:10,521 [WHISPERS] Hurry up. 320 00:16:24,897 --> 00:16:26,197 All right? 321 00:16:27,744 --> 00:16:28,877 It's a bit salty. 322 00:16:30,759 --> 00:16:32,596 Whoops. Oh dear. 323 00:16:34,799 --> 00:16:36,099 Here.. 324 00:16:36,846 --> 00:16:38,046 Cor. 325 00:16:38,534 --> 00:16:40,334 I've been looking for that! 326 00:16:42,573 --> 00:16:45,439 There ya go, mate. Get ya chops round that. 327 00:16:48,638 --> 00:16:52,192 Howell. We need to have a rather uncomfortable conversation. 328 00:16:52,201 --> 00:16:55,083 Oh Barbara. I always knew this day would come. 329 00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:58,623 When a mummy frog loves a daddy frog very, very much indeed. 330 00:16:58,632 --> 00:17:01,708 she bites its head off, and lays an egg in his throat. 331 00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:03,015 - No, not that. - Oh. 332 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,911 Certain people that I know, 333 00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:07,874 are trying to influence the results of the Munty Pet Show. 334 00:17:07,899 --> 00:17:10,570 - I can explain.... - Slasher, and Kevlar. 335 00:17:12,102 --> 00:17:14,280 That is appalling. 336 00:17:14,305 --> 00:17:16,588 I am appalled, 337 00:17:16,613 --> 00:17:21,408 at how appalling that is. The sheer appalination of that news... 338 00:17:21,433 --> 00:17:23,230 It's appalatory. 339 00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:26,175 - It's bad - I just want to make sure 340 00:17:26,191 --> 00:17:29,940 that the competition this year is totally, completely, utterly fair. 341 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,089 Good for you, Barbara. Well, thanks for popping in. 342 00:17:32,097 --> 00:17:34,742 - No, Howell, I need your help. - Oh. Really? 343 00:17:34,766 --> 00:17:35,966 Do you have ideas? 344 00:17:36,703 --> 00:17:37,772 Hover gloves. 345 00:17:37,797 --> 00:17:39,538 No. About the pet show. 346 00:17:39,563 --> 00:17:40,857 Two questions for you, Barbara. 347 00:17:40,882 --> 00:17:44,374 Question 1: Will the result of the Munts Pet Show 348 00:17:44,399 --> 00:17:47,350 be on your shoulders and your shoulders alone? 349 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,780 - Yes. - Question 2: Is this paid work? 350 00:17:49,804 --> 00:17:51,392 - I have this. - Oh ho ho... 351 00:17:51,401 --> 00:17:53,306 I'd have done it for nothing, but I don't want to insult you 352 00:17:53,331 --> 00:17:54,721 and throw it back in your face. 353 00:17:54,729 --> 00:17:57,116 Howell! You are a loyal friend. 354 00:18:03,765 --> 00:18:05,698 You wanted to see me, Kevlar? 355 00:18:05,707 --> 00:18:09,909 Aunty Susan just wanted to make sure Wilson's still on for 1st place. 356 00:18:09,918 --> 00:18:13,425 - She's a bit of a worrier. - Let me reassure you, Kevlar. 357 00:18:13,449 --> 00:18:18,226 I have certainly done everything that is humanly possible, but... 358 00:18:18,251 --> 00:18:22,390 from here on in, it's now down to Wilson himself, and... 359 00:18:22,415 --> 00:18:24,461 - Good old Lady Luck. - Luck? 360 00:18:24,486 --> 00:18:27,518 Yes, because the final decision, Kevlar, 361 00:18:27,543 --> 00:18:30,481 is taken by the Head Judge. Barbara. 362 00:18:30,506 --> 00:18:33,897 And let's not forget that the real fun of the pet show... 363 00:18:34,718 --> 00:18:36,585 is the taking part. 364 00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:41,468 No, Howell. The real fun of the pet show is winning. 365 00:18:41,493 --> 00:18:43,934 And we will win. 366 00:18:45,153 --> 00:18:46,153 Crunk! 367 00:18:47,403 --> 00:18:49,003 This is the chef, is it? 368 00:18:49,637 --> 00:18:54,015 May I say? I have never had a meal like this in my life. 369 00:18:55,086 --> 00:18:56,086 It was... 370 00:18:58,156 --> 00:19:00,890 Brilliant. Quite brilliant. 371 00:19:02,078 --> 00:19:05,411 Bold use of seasoning. Subtle hint of smoked beef. 372 00:19:05,429 --> 00:19:09,272 The bouquet garni being removed at the last minute, 373 00:19:09,297 --> 00:19:13,615 added a... wonderful cheesy piquancy. 374 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:17,993 I particularly enjoyed the unpretentious, no-frills service. 375 00:19:18,018 --> 00:19:19,313 Oh... nice one! 376 00:19:19,338 --> 00:19:21,649 I will be telling the whole of Munty. 377 00:19:21,674 --> 00:19:24,980 The critic was as happy as a troll burning a book. 378 00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:27,573 [LAUGHS] Congratulations! 379 00:19:27,598 --> 00:19:29,065 Ah... nice one, Svedd! 380 00:19:29,090 --> 00:19:33,024 - You know, it reminds me of the time.. - Not now, Herman. 381 00:19:40,819 --> 00:19:43,935 Ah! Svedd. I was just... erm... 382 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:49,512 - ch-ch-checking these doors. - No-one escapes the Shadow of Death. 383 00:19:51,872 --> 00:19:56,426 In the end, the decision is the judge's. Hers and hers alone. 384 00:19:56,451 --> 00:19:58,082 I want 1st prize! 385 00:19:58,107 --> 00:20:03,606 1st prize, joint-1st prize, highly commended runner-up. Let's not split hairs. 386 00:20:03,631 --> 00:20:06,664 I think I'll stick with Best Pet. Don't you? 387 00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:07,689 Absolutely. 388 00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:11,117 Is it hot in here? 389 00:20:11,142 --> 00:20:13,759 And you can drop your pet off in the warehouse. 390 00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:18,241 - Not too late, am I? - Ah yes. The pear. 391 00:20:18,266 --> 00:20:20,258 You are in 2F. 392 00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:22,974 [BAG OF COINS DROPS ON THE TABLE] Oh! I... 393 00:20:22,983 --> 00:20:25,855 dropped this money! 394 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:30,310 No, I do not accept gifts or bribes of any description. 395 00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:34,895 Whatever. Waste of time. 396 00:20:36,786 --> 00:20:37,786 Stay! 397 00:20:40,302 --> 00:20:42,046 See? Like that. 398 00:20:47,422 --> 00:20:48,422 No. 399 00:20:53,178 --> 00:20:54,178 No. 400 00:20:57,178 --> 00:20:58,178 No. 401 00:21:01,912 --> 00:21:05,246 - No. - Come on mate, I've only had 2 hours sleep 402 00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:11,250 No. 403 00:21:13,617 --> 00:21:14,617 No. 404 00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:18,193 - No. - [WHIMPERS] 405 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:25,960 No. 406 00:21:26,656 --> 00:21:29,615 Hey guys. That review's paying off. 407 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:33,455 Got our first VIP booking. Slasher Morgan, plus guest. 408 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:34,480 [CHUCKLES] 409 00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:36,407 Victory's in sight. 410 00:21:36,836 --> 00:21:41,484 I, the Shadow of Death, will track, will kill, and will cook.. 411 00:21:43,891 --> 00:21:46,529 the thing I have tracked and killed. 412 00:21:48,990 --> 00:21:51,201 For glory! 413 00:21:57,867 --> 00:21:58,867 No. 414 00:22:04,445 --> 00:22:05,795 - [SIGHS] - Steg! 415 00:22:05,820 --> 00:22:07,120 Sally! 416 00:22:10,060 --> 00:22:12,793 - So. We gonna go to the pub? - Absolutely. 417 00:22:12,814 --> 00:22:16,347 - Meet your little gang? - Yeah, yeah. First, erm... 418 00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:20,715 Oh! 419 00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:24,025 I have a little present for you. It's a token of my love. 420 00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:25,184 Ooh, that's nice. 421 00:22:26,197 --> 00:22:29,079 - Ooh! - It's perfume. Luxury perfume. 422 00:22:29,104 --> 00:22:31,047 Oh. You're a keeper. 423 00:22:31,072 --> 00:22:32,525 - Try it. - I'll save it for later. 424 00:22:32,533 --> 00:22:35,000 No. Try it now. Just a little squirt. 425 00:22:35,910 --> 00:22:37,386 Oh, it's... quite strong. 426 00:22:37,410 --> 00:22:39,354 - Nice though, isn't it? - Yeah. 427 00:22:39,370 --> 00:22:41,806 That's it. And round the back. 428 00:22:41,831 --> 00:22:43,736 [COUGHS AND CHOKES] 429 00:22:43,761 --> 00:22:45,494 There. And one for luck... 430 00:22:48,861 --> 00:22:50,351 Ooh, wow. 431 00:22:50,376 --> 00:22:52,976 - Let's eat! - [COUGHS] 432 00:22:53,001 --> 00:22:57,976 In your honour, the chef is gonna prepare something really amazing. 433 00:22:58,001 --> 00:22:59,001 Enjoy. 434 00:23:01,932 --> 00:23:05,977 Well, Slasher. Very nice of you to invite us all for dinner. 435 00:23:06,002 --> 00:23:10,102 My please, Kevlar. Just wanted to say, no hard feelings. 436 00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:13,469 Don't get too distressed when Kimberly makes it 8 wins in a row. 437 00:23:13,494 --> 00:23:16,221 You mean when Wilson takes 1st prize. 438 00:23:16,237 --> 00:23:20,447 [EVIL LAUGH] 439 00:23:20,472 --> 00:23:21,549 I don't think so. 440 00:23:21,565 --> 00:23:25,064 [STRANGLED LAUGH] 441 00:23:25,089 --> 00:23:26,221 Think so. 442 00:23:26,246 --> 00:23:29,987 [BOTH LAUGH] 443 00:23:30,012 --> 00:23:33,987 Oh right, I'll just get this out to table 6. 444 00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:36,143 What's that in the duck? 445 00:23:36,168 --> 00:23:40,834 Er, it's err, it's just stuff... stuffing. It's stuffed with stuffing. 446 00:23:45,394 --> 00:23:51,043 "Please help me. I'm being kept prisoner in the kitchen by a mentalist." 447 00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:55,471 Oh... I don't know how that got in there. 448 00:23:55,496 --> 00:23:59,258 It looks like... Herman's handwriting. It's a bit disrespectful. 449 00:23:59,283 --> 00:24:02,033 Anyway I'll get these peas out to table 2. 450 00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:04,041 Table 2 didn't order any peas. 451 00:24:04,924 --> 00:24:05,924 Didn't they? 452 00:24:06,723 --> 00:24:09,323 Could've sworn they did, I just... Oh. 453 00:24:11,629 --> 00:24:12,829 [CRACK OF THUNDER] 454 00:24:14,441 --> 00:24:15,641 Herman? 455 00:24:16,988 --> 00:24:19,807 - Howell, where have you been? - Barbara, I've got a late entrant. 456 00:24:19,831 --> 00:24:21,893 No, I'm sorry Howell, rules are rules. 457 00:24:21,917 --> 00:24:25,727 The thing is, due to a slight misunderstanding, 458 00:24:25,752 --> 00:24:29,288 I sort of promised... well, more like guaranteed, 459 00:24:29,313 --> 00:24:31,923 that slasher's pig would win the competition. 460 00:24:31,940 --> 00:24:33,516 - What? - And also, 461 00:24:33,541 --> 00:24:37,110 there was a surprisingly similar misunderstanding, 462 00:24:37,135 --> 00:24:40,344 where I sort of promised... more like guaranteed 463 00:24:40,369 --> 00:24:43,571 that Kevlar's toad would win in as well. 464 00:24:43,596 --> 00:24:46,063 - Howell! - They forced me, Barbara. 465 00:24:46,530 --> 00:24:49,396 With money. I'm the true victim here. 466 00:24:49,421 --> 00:24:51,240 They can't both win the competition. 467 00:24:51,265 --> 00:24:54,646 That's where Fergus comes into it. 468 00:24:54,671 --> 00:24:59,278 - Meet the protector's hedgehog. - How did you get him? 469 00:24:59,303 --> 00:25:03,343 That's not important. What is important is that if Fergus wins, 470 00:25:03,368 --> 00:25:07,289 nobody will question the decision. It's genius! [LAUGHS] 471 00:25:07,314 --> 00:25:09,107 No, Howell. No. 472 00:25:09,132 --> 00:25:12,091 It's got to be a totally, completely fair competition 473 00:25:12,116 --> 00:25:14,333 Please, Barbara. Please. I'm begging you. 474 00:25:14,358 --> 00:25:15,358 No. 475 00:25:16,379 --> 00:25:18,246 Eyes, cry. [MAGICAL WHOOSH] 476 00:25:19,090 --> 00:25:21,395 [CRIES] 477 00:25:23,686 --> 00:25:29,636 [STUTTERS] I've got... myself... in this... terrible situation. 478 00:25:29,661 --> 00:25:33,989 I need your help. You're my oldest friend. 479 00:25:35,622 --> 00:25:37,902 I suppose I could do something. 480 00:25:37,927 --> 00:25:39,370 Eyes, dry. 481 00:25:39,395 --> 00:25:42,195 Great! I'll stick Fergus in the warehouse. 482 00:25:42,859 --> 00:25:43,859 Oh. 483 00:25:44,406 --> 00:25:45,406 HOWELL: Crunt! 484 00:25:47,445 --> 00:25:49,593 - Slasher's pig's escaped. - [GASPS] 485 00:25:49,617 --> 00:25:51,536 But doesn't that mean...? 486 00:25:51,561 --> 00:25:53,241 [BOTH SCREAM] 487 00:25:53,266 --> 00:25:57,553 It was basically pouring out of this tube. Honestly, massive big piles of it. 488 00:25:57,578 --> 00:26:00,756 Never seen such an overspill. [LAUGHS] 489 00:26:00,781 --> 00:26:02,476 This is delicious. Do you wanna try some? 490 00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:07,080 - Are you still wearing gloves at work? - Yeah. Really thick. Totally waterproof. 491 00:26:07,088 --> 00:26:11,222 So you can imagine how cross I was when I lost them. Shocker! 492 00:26:13,588 --> 00:26:16,748 - Look, Sally, I really like you, but... - Me too. 493 00:26:16,764 --> 00:26:18,513 - Sure. - Such a great evening. 494 00:26:18,522 --> 00:26:20,950 - Yeah, I know... - I was thinking. Why don't we go... 495 00:26:20,975 --> 00:26:23,584 to the Lake of Serenity? Have a midnight swim. 496 00:26:24,318 --> 00:26:28,332 Swim? As in, water? Like a big bath? 497 00:26:28,340 --> 00:26:30,607 Yeah, come on, let's do it. Naked. 498 00:26:32,801 --> 00:26:33,949 Bill please, Herman. 499 00:26:33,957 --> 00:26:36,654 Incredibly acute sense of smell, hedgehogs. 500 00:26:36,662 --> 00:26:38,919 - He's picked up the scent! - There ya go. 501 00:26:38,928 --> 00:26:39,928 Yes! 502 00:26:40,865 --> 00:26:42,700 Hedgehog... up! 503 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:48,840 Hunt.. pig. 504 00:26:50,254 --> 00:26:51,254 Fast. 505 00:26:58,331 --> 00:26:59,398 It's in the pub! 506 00:27:00,487 --> 00:27:04,017 Look under the tables. I'll check behind the bar. 507 00:27:04,042 --> 00:27:06,375 Can't be hard to spot a silver pig. 508 00:27:06,401 --> 00:27:10,170 - Woah! - ? La la la la la la la ? 509 00:27:10,195 --> 00:27:12,288 What are you doing? Can you get out of the way, please? 510 00:27:12,304 --> 00:27:14,062 - Er, no, no I can't. - Silver pig? 511 00:27:14,070 --> 00:27:16,920 - Yes. I know. - Slasher's silver pig. 512 00:27:16,945 --> 00:27:21,245 - I know. I'm trying to take it over. - It's slasher's pet, Kimberly. 513 00:27:21,253 --> 00:27:23,964 What's the hold-up? Where's Slasher's foo... 514 00:27:23,972 --> 00:27:25,947 Oh God. What are we gonna do? 515 00:27:25,972 --> 00:27:28,525 Howell. Can't we do a bit of the old alakazam? 516 00:27:28,550 --> 00:27:31,550 It's cooked, Brian. Just like we will be. 517 00:27:32,845 --> 00:27:34,579 I'll get this back in the kitchen. 518 00:27:35,657 --> 00:27:37,524 Take that across to table 4. 519 00:27:38,931 --> 00:27:40,131 Now. 520 00:27:46,989 --> 00:27:49,723 You know what? I shouldn't be doing this. 521 00:27:50,482 --> 00:27:53,044 You should. For glory. 522 00:27:54,803 --> 00:27:56,403 For glory! You're right. 523 00:27:57,615 --> 00:28:00,255 Victory... will be mine. 524 00:28:01,060 --> 00:28:03,599 Behold! Slow roast... 525 00:28:04,896 --> 00:28:10,557 silver pig. Sourced, slaughtered, and butchered by my own hand. 526 00:28:11,847 --> 00:28:13,190 [LAUGHS] 527 00:28:15,276 --> 00:28:16,876 And for the gentleman... 528 00:28:19,558 --> 00:28:20,891 Toad in the hole. 529 00:28:20,932 --> 00:28:23,455 [SHOUTS] Wilson! 530 00:28:25,143 --> 00:28:26,618 Come on. 531 00:28:26,643 --> 00:28:30,094 - Ah. Well, last one in is a wuss. - Yes! 532 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:34,400 - Oh no. I missed one. - What? 533 00:28:36,244 --> 00:28:39,080 I spent all afternoon clearing that sewage spill 534 00:28:39,088 --> 00:28:41,088 I don't know how I missed that. It's ginormous! 535 00:28:41,713 --> 00:28:44,913 There's one of my gloves. Right, come here, you. 536 00:28:47,535 --> 00:28:48,735 [SIGHS] 537 00:28:50,277 --> 00:28:52,722 [MOANS] 538 00:28:58,957 --> 00:29:02,681 Leesh? You won't believe this. 539 00:29:02,706 --> 00:29:05,253 You know that guy I was telling you about with the crazy eyes? 540 00:29:05,269 --> 00:29:08,808 Yeah, Howell. Turns out he's been living in the store cupboard. 541 00:29:08,816 --> 00:29:11,442 There's a microwave in here, there's wine, there's cereal. 542 00:29:11,466 --> 00:29:13,399 I'm gonna send you a picture. 543 00:29:14,661 --> 00:29:15,661 [LIGHT BUZZES] 544 00:29:18,497 --> 00:29:20,064 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 545 00:29:21,012 --> 00:29:22,512 [SCREAMS] 546 00:29:25,290 --> 00:29:28,109 ? There's something happening here ? 547 00:29:29,533 --> 00:29:32,874 ? But what it is ain't exactly clear ? 548 00:29:34,454 --> 00:29:37,774 ? There's a man with a gun over there ? 549 00:29:39,182 --> 00:29:42,626 ? Telling me I got to beware ? 550 00:29:43,667 --> 00:29:45,345 ? I think it's time we stop ? 551 00:29:45,370 --> 00:29:47,189 ? Children, what's that sound? ? 552 00:29:47,214 --> 00:29:50,522 ? Everybody look - what's going down? ? 553 00:29:50,572 --> 00:29:55,122 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39913

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