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1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,074
Telling ya Herman,
it's a win-win situation.
2
00:00:05,099 --> 00:00:07,192
You get more customers, and I get paid.
3
00:00:07,997 --> 00:00:09,731
I don't need another cook.
4
00:00:10,224 --> 00:00:11,253
Yeah, but...
5
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:13,278
I've got food from another world.
6
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:15,215
Boiled eggs.
7
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:17,895
Scrambled eggs.
8
00:00:20,442 --> 00:00:21,819
Fried eggs.
9
00:00:21,844 --> 00:00:25,217
- We have all those.
- All right, beans on toast then. Whatever.
10
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:28,506
- It's gotta be better than your fish pie.
- Rubbish. I just made a new one.
11
00:00:28,531 --> 00:00:30,849
To be fair, Herman,
food isn't your strong point.
12
00:00:30,874 --> 00:00:33,208
Along with beer, and running a pub.
13
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,800
Where'd you get the towels?
14
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:44,770
Right! That's me. I'm
off for a herbal thresh.
15
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,533
I have a romantic
engagement scheduled.
16
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:50,286
- Not Sally Slobs?
- Slobes! It's Sally Slobes.
17
00:00:50,302 --> 00:00:52,965
- From the sewers?
- She doesn't work in the sewers anymore.
18
00:00:52,997 --> 00:00:55,004
Anyways... an-ons.
19
00:00:55,778 --> 00:00:56,978
[SIGHS LOUDLY]
20
00:00:58,278 --> 00:01:00,906
Oh come on, Herman. I'll be
the best cook you've ever had.
21
00:01:00,914 --> 00:01:02,850
[SIGHS] All right.
22
00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:04,773
I suppose we can give it a go.
23
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:05,811
Promise?
24
00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:08,584
A warrior's word... is his bond.
25
00:01:08,609 --> 00:01:09,609
Yes!
26
00:01:10,542 --> 00:01:11,609
Budge up, munts!
27
00:01:16,983 --> 00:01:20,056
That's 1 Sov, please. Good
luck in the competition!
28
00:01:21,077 --> 00:01:22,544
- Hello!
- All right?
29
00:01:24,911 --> 00:01:26,115
Type of creature?
30
00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:28,310
- Pear.
- Ah! That's not a pet.
31
00:01:28,335 --> 00:01:30,170
How dare you? Watch this.
32
00:01:31,089 --> 00:01:32,708
Sit!
33
00:01:32,733 --> 00:01:33,933
And stay!
34
00:01:34,684 --> 00:01:37,816
There, hmm?
Well, I'll put him down.
35
00:01:37,841 --> 00:01:39,041
Her.
36
00:01:39,059 --> 00:01:41,575
Right. Well just don't
get your hopes up.
37
00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:43,450
Yeah... Good girl.
38
00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:53,389
Spare a drink for an old thug?
39
00:01:53,968 --> 00:01:55,168
Svedd..?
40
00:01:55,906 --> 00:01:57,125
Svedd!
41
00:01:57,150 --> 00:02:02,179
BOTH: Face the foe, feel the fear,
run towards the enemy waving a sword,
42
00:02:02,204 --> 00:02:03,977
and hit him 'til he's dead.
43
00:02:03,985 --> 00:02:05,665
For glory!
44
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,191
- What happened to your hand?
- A run-in with a mountain goblin.
45
00:02:10,207 --> 00:02:12,455
Well... 100 of them.
46
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:13,480
Killed the lot.
47
00:02:14,011 --> 00:02:15,211
Funny thing...
48
00:02:16,066 --> 00:02:17,583
They were on our side.
49
00:02:17,608 --> 00:02:18,762
Great story.
50
00:02:18,787 --> 00:02:21,521
I made this beauty myself.
Check it out.
51
00:02:22,397 --> 00:02:23,834
6 fingers.
52
00:02:24,576 --> 00:02:27,172
Nice one. This calls for a drink.
53
00:02:27,197 --> 00:02:28,597
So how have you been?
54
00:02:29,069 --> 00:02:30,069
Tough times.
55
00:02:35,119 --> 00:02:37,452
You've done all right for yourself.
56
00:02:38,556 --> 00:02:41,223
Well... it's always quiet at lunchtimes.
57
00:02:42,243 --> 00:02:45,750
To you and me,
and the Mage War Mountain Unit
58
00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:49,657
For glory!
59
00:02:51,055 --> 00:02:52,322
Greetings, Barbara.
60
00:02:52,337 --> 00:02:53,984
Ah, Slasher.
61
00:02:54,009 --> 00:02:56,750
So you are the judge this year...
62
00:02:56,775 --> 00:03:01,215
Indeed I am! Very extremely exciting.
63
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,793
Oooh!
64
00:03:02,818 --> 00:03:05,597
This must be the famous Kimberly.
65
00:03:05,622 --> 00:03:07,770
7 times winner!
66
00:03:07,795 --> 00:03:10,348
[LAUGHS]
[PET GROWLS AND BITES]
67
00:03:10,373 --> 00:03:13,045
She hasn't had her num-nums yet,
have you Kimberly?
68
00:03:13,053 --> 00:03:15,419
TOGETHER: Ahhh...
69
00:03:15,444 --> 00:03:16,744
Erm...
70
00:03:17,628 --> 00:03:21,377
That'll be, err, 1 Sov please, Slasher.
71
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,735
You can take it out of my winnings.
72
00:03:25,661 --> 00:03:29,128
["QUAND ON N'A QUE L'AMOUR"
BY JACQUES BREL PLAYING]
73
00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:38,957
[TRAP DOOR SLAMS]
Steg!
74
00:03:38,982 --> 00:03:39,981
Ah, Sally.
75
00:03:40,005 --> 00:03:41,840
Sorry I'm late. I had to
come straight from work.
76
00:03:41,865 --> 00:03:43,502
I thought you got a new job.
77
00:03:43,519 --> 00:03:46,665
I do! I got promoted to major blockages.
78
00:03:46,690 --> 00:03:49,197
So where are we going? Your local?
79
00:03:49,222 --> 00:03:53,940
I... thought, seeing as that it's such
a nice day, we could eat outside.
80
00:03:53,956 --> 00:03:56,751
Out by the dock, somewhere... breezy.
81
00:03:56,776 --> 00:03:59,517
Oh! That sounds lovely.
82
00:03:59,542 --> 00:04:01,594
- Name?
- Kevlar.
83
00:04:01,619 --> 00:04:02,805
and my wife,
84
00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:04,086
and my ex-wife,
85
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:05,539
and my aunty Susan,
86
00:04:05,564 --> 00:04:07,704
and my son's just moved back in with us.
87
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:09,915
He's an artist.
88
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,994
Well, hello everybody!
89
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:14,486
Err, type of creature?
90
00:04:14,503 --> 00:04:16,245
Song Toad.
[TOAD RIBBITS]
91
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,200
Go on, Wilson.
[TOAD CLEARS THROAT]
92
00:04:19,744 --> 00:04:24,189
[TOAD SINGS BEAUTIFUL
OPERATIC MELODY]
93
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:30,640
Wow!
94
00:04:32,074 --> 00:04:34,525
[TOAD SINGS HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]
[GLASS SMASHES]
95
00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:37,377
Oh, I think we might have
found a contender.
96
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,589
Here's 5 Sovs.
97
00:04:39,722 --> 00:04:41,300
Keep the change.
98
00:04:43,273 --> 00:04:44,473
Ooh.
99
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,163
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
100
00:04:50,404 --> 00:04:53,670
All right. I have been
to the market, and I'm...
101
00:04:58,692 --> 00:05:02,186
- Customer.
- Brian, this is Svedd.
102
00:05:02,211 --> 00:05:03,617
An old warrior mate of mine.
103
00:05:03,625 --> 00:05:07,069
- Woah! What is that?
- Made it myself.
104
00:05:07,094 --> 00:05:08,094
6 fingers!
105
00:05:08,984 --> 00:05:10,524
Right...
106
00:05:10,549 --> 00:05:13,509
Anyway, you are going to
love this. Shepherd's Pie.
107
00:05:13,534 --> 00:05:15,930
Thing is, Brian, there's
a bit of a problem.
108
00:05:15,955 --> 00:05:17,689
It's okay, it's not spicy.
109
00:05:17,721 --> 00:05:20,321
I've sort of... given the job to Svedd.
110
00:05:29,802 --> 00:05:32,739
Right. It's just that you
did promise the job to me.
111
00:05:32,755 --> 00:05:36,348
- He's a bit down on his luck.
- I thought a warrior's word was his bond.
112
00:05:38,882 --> 00:05:40,889
Hang on... why don't you both do it?
113
00:05:41,827 --> 00:05:44,955
What with your extra finger, and your...
114
00:05:46,159 --> 00:05:47,564
apron.
115
00:05:47,589 --> 00:05:49,032
It'll be great.
116
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,057
The dream team.
117
00:05:55,387 --> 00:05:57,495
Oh! Err, Slasher.
118
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,720
Ladies...
119
00:05:59,575 --> 00:06:01,206
These are for you.
120
00:06:01,231 --> 00:06:02,620
Ah!
121
00:06:02,645 --> 00:06:04,698
Crystallised nettles?
122
00:06:04,723 --> 00:06:07,063
How very extremely nice.
123
00:06:07,088 --> 00:06:08,470
They're not from me.
124
00:06:08,495 --> 00:06:10,628
- Oh.
- They're from Kimberly.
125
00:06:12,433 --> 00:06:14,940
Ha. Thank you Kimberly.
126
00:06:14,965 --> 00:06:16,440
After you.
127
00:06:16,465 --> 00:06:17,998
Make way for the judge!
128
00:06:19,188 --> 00:06:23,374
Okay, so I think the way to
make this work is, basically,
129
00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:25,273
I'll do all the cooking,
130
00:06:25,298 --> 00:06:28,563
and you can knock yourself out doing all
the cleaning and washing up and whatnot.
131
00:06:28,572 --> 00:06:32,265
But I used to cook for the men
when we were out on campaign.
132
00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:33,929
Fried grass.
133
00:06:33,954 --> 00:06:36,078
Fried grass! That...
134
00:06:36,103 --> 00:06:37,103
sounds tasty.
135
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:39,944
Is something burning?
136
00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:46,064
[SIGHS]
137
00:06:46,232 --> 00:06:49,502
Tell you what. How about
we have a little contest?
138
00:06:49,527 --> 00:06:51,330
Settle this man to man.
139
00:06:51,355 --> 00:06:53,244
Like warriors?
140
00:06:53,269 --> 00:06:54,398
You're on.
141
00:06:54,423 --> 00:06:56,090
Okay, we each cook a meal,
142
00:06:56,095 --> 00:06:57,390
Herman tastes it,
143
00:06:57,415 --> 00:06:59,601
whoever's made the nicest food,
144
00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:00,656
could be me,
145
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:03,904
could be you. Fried grass, eh?
Gets the job.
146
00:07:03,929 --> 00:07:06,873
And the loser is the kitchen lackey?
147
00:07:06,898 --> 00:07:07,898
Exactly.
148
00:07:08,893 --> 00:07:12,291
- A warrior's word is his bond.
- Good on ya.
149
00:07:14,594 --> 00:07:15,594
You've, err...
150
00:07:16,156 --> 00:07:18,423
set your hand on fire again there.
151
00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:21,880
Let's crack on then, shall we?
152
00:07:21,904 --> 00:07:24,668
- My regular order. You know my routine.
- Of course.
153
00:07:24,693 --> 00:07:27,371
Magical tusk enhancer,
154
00:07:27,396 --> 00:07:30,028
tail curlant, plus
155
00:07:30,053 --> 00:07:32,895
special cheesy treats. [LAUGHS}
156
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:37,095
I'm very confident the win number
8 is safely in the bag, Slasher.
157
00:07:37,104 --> 00:07:38,104
[SNAPS FINGERS]
158
00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,258
Actually...
159
00:07:41,283 --> 00:07:46,046
I might need something extra, this year.
160
00:07:46,071 --> 00:07:48,063
No point leaving anything to chance.
161
00:07:48,071 --> 00:07:49,071
Absolutely not.
162
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:54,287
May I suggest,
for a very minimal financial uplift,
163
00:07:54,312 --> 00:07:58,640
some porcine pep-tonic,
and some de-tarnishing cream.
164
00:08:00,031 --> 00:08:01,231
Ooh!
165
00:08:02,173 --> 00:08:03,773
I'll be back in an hour.
166
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,039
I love the pet show!
167
00:08:08,064 --> 00:08:10,649
Okay, here we go. Now,
Herman this is mine.
168
00:08:11,884 --> 00:08:16,084
Shepherd's pie. Absolute pub
classic. Guaranteed crowd-pleaser.
169
00:08:20,783 --> 00:08:22,508
- Mmm!
- Yeah.
170
00:08:22,533 --> 00:08:24,904
- Not bad.
- Well, pace yourself,
171
00:08:24,929 --> 00:08:27,637
okay, cos you've got...
whatever this is coming up next.
172
00:08:27,662 --> 00:08:29,983
Svedd, do you want to show
him what you've managed?
173
00:08:30,905 --> 00:08:36,630
Wild rabbit, with a medley of forest
mushrooms, and a side of fried grass.
174
00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:38,789
Fried grass. That takes me back.
175
00:08:41,641 --> 00:08:42,641
Mmm!
176
00:08:43,391 --> 00:08:44,391
Mmm!
177
00:08:45,539 --> 00:08:46,539
Mmm... I'll...
178
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,854
have some more of that.
179
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,912
- Where did you get the rabbit from?
- Oh, I sniffed it out.
180
00:08:53,921 --> 00:08:55,825
This man...
181
00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:58,184
he could sneak up, kill anything.
182
00:08:58,186 --> 00:09:01,520
And that's why we call him...
the Shadow of Death.
183
00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:03,355
Nice one, Svedd.
184
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,074
Unlucky, Brian.
185
00:09:06,099 --> 00:09:11,230
All right Brian, I want the
pots scrubbed, the floor swept,
186
00:09:11,255 --> 00:09:14,418
and the veg peeled, chopped, and diced.
187
00:09:14,443 --> 00:09:16,376
- All right, keep your hand on.
- Now!
188
00:09:20,466 --> 00:09:22,399
I've never known it so still.
189
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,958
Where's the breeze?
190
00:09:26,104 --> 00:09:30,043
Anyways, later on why don't
we go down to the Munty baths,
191
00:09:30,068 --> 00:09:31,768
and have a bit of a scrub-down?
192
00:09:31,792 --> 00:09:34,861
Oh, no. The baths are so unhygienic!
193
00:09:34,886 --> 00:09:36,711
All those people
sitting on things naked,
194
00:09:36,736 --> 00:09:38,429
and you don't know where
any of them have been.
195
00:09:38,455 --> 00:09:39,655
Yeah...
196
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,724
It's so lovely to see you again, Steg.
197
00:09:46,731 --> 00:09:49,769
- I thought of you at work today.
- Really?
198
00:09:49,794 --> 00:09:52,480
- We had this massive blockage...
- Here come the drinks!
199
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,512
Ooh, lovely. Mine's a chocolate floater.
200
00:09:54,531 --> 00:09:55,948
[DISGUSTED] Ahh!
201
00:09:55,973 --> 00:09:58,973
Ooh, that looks great,
doesn't it? Thank you.
202
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,638
Howell. Lovely to see you.
203
00:10:02,663 --> 00:10:04,264
- All right mate?
- Everyone says hello.
204
00:10:04,288 --> 00:10:05,280
Oh yeah?
205
00:10:05,296 --> 00:10:07,631
- Especially my ex-wife.
- Oh, lovely.
206
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:12,009
So... do you know that it's
the Munty Pet Show this week?
207
00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:14,892
Hmm... yeah, it rings a vague bell.
208
00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:18,657
We're very keen. Wilson,
our Song Toad, does well.
209
00:10:18,682 --> 00:10:21,159
Comes in the top... one.
210
00:10:21,184 --> 00:10:25,262
We're thinking perhaps you could
help with a little magical makeover?
211
00:10:25,278 --> 00:10:29,209
Well, I have to say, Kevlar. That
does not sound strictly legal to me.
212
00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:33,108
I don't think I could...
say no. That's a fat bag!
213
00:10:33,124 --> 00:10:35,124
- Leave it with me.
- Good.
214
00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:43,267
Two more satisfied customers.
Isn't it great?
215
00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:45,978
Not really, no. That
Svedd. He's a bit...
216
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,561
- You know.
- He's fine. He's a lovely bloke.
217
00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:51,985
Just don't mention Deadwood Gorge.
218
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,099
We were surrounded by goblins.
219
00:10:55,124 --> 00:10:56,124
Freezing cold.
220
00:10:57,267 --> 00:10:59,907
The only way to keep warn
was by burning all our clothes.
221
00:11:00,915 --> 00:11:01,915
Next day?
222
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,030
We were even colder.
223
00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:09,983
- Yeah, but Herman...
- Table 4's waiting, Brian.
224
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:14,150
[PLATES AND CUTLERY CRASH TO THE FLOOR]
225
00:11:14,175 --> 00:11:16,175
Herman, come and look at this.
226
00:11:16,714 --> 00:11:20,480
I've got flowers, and
toffee pears, and
227
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:23,575
jewellery, and perfume,
228
00:11:23,593 --> 00:11:24,910
[SPRAYS PERFUME]
229
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:27,285
Agh! That's strong!
230
00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:30,306
- Where's all this from?
- Entrants to the Munty Pet Show.
231
00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:32,970
It really does bring
out the best in people.
232
00:11:32,986 --> 00:11:35,009
You do know why people are
giving you this stuff, don't ya?
233
00:11:35,018 --> 00:11:37,251
- Because they like me.
- It's bribes, Barbara,
234
00:11:37,276 --> 00:11:40,469
They're trying to influence you.
It's all rigged. Sally was saying so.
235
00:11:40,494 --> 00:11:43,339
- Is that your ex-girlfriend?
- No no, we're going on a 2nd date.
236
00:11:43,364 --> 00:11:45,564
She can't get enough of The Steg.
237
00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:47,532
Bribes?!
238
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:51,537
That is very extremely awful.
239
00:11:51,562 --> 00:11:53,295
I don't want any of it.
240
00:11:54,398 --> 00:11:56,123
Actually...
241
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,077
I could take this off ya hands.
242
00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:02,897
Service up! Two pies, one pork
without sauce, one fish with extra sauce,
243
00:12:02,905 --> 00:12:06,701
two rabbit purines,
one hare salad without pear.
244
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:10,022
- Now! How long for table 2?
- Err, which one's that?
245
00:12:10,047 --> 00:12:13,538
- The double kidneys! Come on, Brian!
- Ahh, do you know what?
246
00:12:13,563 --> 00:12:16,716
I've had enough! Okay? I quit.
247
00:12:16,741 --> 00:12:18,209
I don't think so, Brian.
248
00:12:18,233 --> 00:12:21,500
- Get back to your post.
- All right, steady on.
249
00:12:22,147 --> 00:12:23,710
It's only cooking.
250
00:12:23,735 --> 00:12:29,135
It's not like we're... tracked by goblins,
having to set fire to our own clothes.
251
00:12:31,165 --> 00:12:32,498
Deadwood Gorge...
252
00:12:38,403 --> 00:12:40,604
Stay with me, Brian.
253
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,167
I need you now.
254
00:12:42,192 --> 00:12:43,925
If we stand still, we die.
255
00:12:44,843 --> 00:12:46,997
- Bit weird.
- They're out there!
256
00:12:47,022 --> 00:12:49,600
They're out there,
we'll fight 'til the last man.
257
00:12:49,616 --> 00:12:50,732
Here they come!
258
00:12:50,757 --> 00:12:52,522
Kill the goblins...
259
00:12:52,547 --> 00:12:54,225
Kill them!
260
00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:56,943
...place is buzzing!
Guess who just booked.
261
00:12:56,968 --> 00:12:59,427
Only Quincy Peacock from the Munty Gazette.
262
00:12:59,443 --> 00:13:02,067
He gives us a good
review and we are made.
263
00:13:02,075 --> 00:13:03,275
My dream team.
264
00:13:06,206 --> 00:13:09,455
This is it Brian. You and
me against the world.
265
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,924
We win, or we die trying.
266
00:13:13,738 --> 00:13:17,518
There is no escape.
267
00:13:17,543 --> 00:13:18,855
[WHIMPERS]
268
00:13:23,822 --> 00:13:26,134
I believe you have
a reservation for me.
269
00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:28,367
Quincy Peacock.
270
00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:31,024
Mr Peacock. I have
the perfect seat for you.
271
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,668
Not near the door.
272
00:13:34,601 --> 00:13:36,593
- How about near the fire?
- Too hot.
273
00:13:36,601 --> 00:13:39,999
Ah ah ah, here. Perfect.
274
00:13:41,505 --> 00:13:42,505
Hmm.
275
00:13:43,201 --> 00:13:48,316
The landlord flapped around, feebly,
like a pigeon on a troll's mouth.
276
00:13:48,341 --> 00:13:50,854
How something to start?
Brian!
277
00:13:50,879 --> 00:13:52,324
[SOMETHING SMASHES]
Ow!
278
00:13:54,704 --> 00:13:56,610
Herman. Can I have a word, please?
279
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:58,751
Not now. This is Quincy Peacock.
280
00:14:00,165 --> 00:14:01,665
The famous critic.
281
00:14:03,439 --> 00:14:06,351
Oh! Oh yeah, here.
There you go.
282
00:14:06,376 --> 00:14:10,625
The boy just seemed as
confused as a troll reading a book.
283
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,509
- Get back to the kitchen!
- Bring me the specials.
284
00:14:13,517 --> 00:14:16,064
I hardly need remind you.
One bad review from me,
285
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:19,441
and the restaurant could close
faster than a troll leaving a bookshop.
286
00:14:23,528 --> 00:14:24,528
Oh, please.
287
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,000
Drink while you're waiting?
288
00:14:27,731 --> 00:14:31,440
Right Kevlar. All your
Song Toad essentials.
289
00:14:31,465 --> 00:14:36,076
Some voice enhancing nostrum.
Should bring out a lovely vibrato.
290
00:14:36,101 --> 00:14:39,334
Some throat lozenges, and how about
291
00:14:39,359 --> 00:14:43,413
some fast-acting wart
cream for extra warts?
292
00:14:43,438 --> 00:14:45,554
Yeah? I'll go get some!
293
00:14:45,579 --> 00:14:48,445
Thank you Howell.
We're all very grateful.
294
00:14:49,141 --> 00:14:50,808
Especially my ex-wife.
295
00:14:53,915 --> 00:14:55,358
Kevlar...
296
00:14:55,383 --> 00:14:56,383
Slasher...
297
00:14:56,985 --> 00:14:59,030
One pot of fast-acting...
298
00:14:59,055 --> 00:15:00,389
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
299
00:15:02,672 --> 00:15:05,070
Fast-acting..?
300
00:15:06,766 --> 00:15:08,375
Pile... cream.
301
00:15:11,148 --> 00:15:13,882
It's not for me. It's
for my Uncle Derek.
302
00:15:14,704 --> 00:15:17,304
- What brings you here, Slasher?
- Me?
303
00:15:18,837 --> 00:15:20,641
I... came... for...
304
00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:23,540
Your...
305
00:15:24,236 --> 00:15:25,807
- Cream?
- Cream.
306
00:15:25,832 --> 00:15:30,198
Ointment, tonic, and cheesy treats,
307
00:15:30,223 --> 00:15:31,588
For...
308
00:15:31,613 --> 00:15:32,913
your...
309
00:15:33,937 --> 00:15:34,937
piles.
310
00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:38,804
We're throwing everything at it!
311
00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:44,122
So. Everyone's got all
the pile products they need.
312
00:15:44,147 --> 00:15:47,137
I would avoid spicy food,
313
00:15:47,162 --> 00:15:50,833
and try not to sit on cold,
hard surfaces.
314
00:15:50,858 --> 00:15:54,401
If it's still there on 2 days time,
I would seek proper...
315
00:15:54,409 --> 00:15:56,205
medical...
316
00:15:56,230 --> 00:15:57,230
advice.
317
00:16:02,805 --> 00:16:04,138
I hate the Pet Show.
318
00:16:04,719 --> 00:16:05,719
[DOOR SLAMS]
319
00:16:09,188 --> 00:16:10,521
[WHISPERS] Hurry up.
320
00:16:24,897 --> 00:16:26,197
All right?
321
00:16:27,744 --> 00:16:28,877
It's a bit salty.
322
00:16:30,759 --> 00:16:32,596
Whoops. Oh dear.
323
00:16:34,799 --> 00:16:36,099
Here..
324
00:16:36,846 --> 00:16:38,046
Cor.
325
00:16:38,534 --> 00:16:40,334
I've been looking for that!
326
00:16:42,573 --> 00:16:45,439
There ya go, mate.
Get ya chops round that.
327
00:16:48,638 --> 00:16:52,192
Howell. We need to have a
rather uncomfortable conversation.
328
00:16:52,201 --> 00:16:55,083
Oh Barbara. I always
knew this day would come.
329
00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:58,623
When a mummy frog loves a daddy
frog very, very much indeed.
330
00:16:58,632 --> 00:17:01,708
she bites its head off,
and lays an egg in his throat.
331
00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:03,015
- No, not that.
- Oh.
332
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,911
Certain people that I know,
333
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:07,874
are trying to influence the
results of the Munty Pet Show.
334
00:17:07,899 --> 00:17:10,570
- I can explain....
- Slasher, and Kevlar.
335
00:17:12,102 --> 00:17:14,280
That is appalling.
336
00:17:14,305 --> 00:17:16,588
I am appalled,
337
00:17:16,613 --> 00:17:21,408
at how appalling that is. The sheer
appalination of that news...
338
00:17:21,433 --> 00:17:23,230
It's appalatory.
339
00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:26,175
- It's bad
- I just want to make sure
340
00:17:26,191 --> 00:17:29,940
that the competition this year is totally,
completely, utterly fair.
341
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,089
Good for you, Barbara.
Well, thanks for popping in.
342
00:17:32,097 --> 00:17:34,742
- No, Howell, I need your help.
- Oh. Really?
343
00:17:34,766 --> 00:17:35,966
Do you have ideas?
344
00:17:36,703 --> 00:17:37,772
Hover gloves.
345
00:17:37,797 --> 00:17:39,538
No. About the pet show.
346
00:17:39,563 --> 00:17:40,857
Two questions for you, Barbara.
347
00:17:40,882 --> 00:17:44,374
Question 1: Will the result
of the Munts Pet Show
348
00:17:44,399 --> 00:17:47,350
be on your shoulders
and your shoulders alone?
349
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,780
- Yes.
- Question 2: Is this paid work?
350
00:17:49,804 --> 00:17:51,392
- I have this.
- Oh ho ho...
351
00:17:51,401 --> 00:17:53,306
I'd have done it for nothing,
but I don't want to insult you
352
00:17:53,331 --> 00:17:54,721
and throw it back in your face.
353
00:17:54,729 --> 00:17:57,116
Howell! You are a loyal friend.
354
00:18:03,765 --> 00:18:05,698
You wanted to see me, Kevlar?
355
00:18:05,707 --> 00:18:09,909
Aunty Susan just wanted to make
sure Wilson's still on for 1st place.
356
00:18:09,918 --> 00:18:13,425
- She's a bit of a worrier.
- Let me reassure you, Kevlar.
357
00:18:13,449 --> 00:18:18,226
I have certainly done everything
that is humanly possible, but...
358
00:18:18,251 --> 00:18:22,390
from here on in, it's now
down to Wilson himself, and...
359
00:18:22,415 --> 00:18:24,461
- Good old Lady Luck.
- Luck?
360
00:18:24,486 --> 00:18:27,518
Yes, because the final decision, Kevlar,
361
00:18:27,543 --> 00:18:30,481
is taken by the Head Judge. Barbara.
362
00:18:30,506 --> 00:18:33,897
And let's not forget that
the real fun of the pet show...
363
00:18:34,718 --> 00:18:36,585
is the taking part.
364
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:41,468
No, Howell. The real fun
of the pet show is winning.
365
00:18:41,493 --> 00:18:43,934
And we will win.
366
00:18:45,153 --> 00:18:46,153
Crunk!
367
00:18:47,403 --> 00:18:49,003
This is the chef, is it?
368
00:18:49,637 --> 00:18:54,015
May I say? I have never
had a meal like this in my life.
369
00:18:55,086 --> 00:18:56,086
It was...
370
00:18:58,156 --> 00:19:00,890
Brilliant. Quite brilliant.
371
00:19:02,078 --> 00:19:05,411
Bold use of seasoning.
Subtle hint of smoked beef.
372
00:19:05,429 --> 00:19:09,272
The bouquet garni being
removed at the last minute,
373
00:19:09,297 --> 00:19:13,615
added a... wonderful cheesy piquancy.
374
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:17,993
I particularly enjoyed the
unpretentious, no-frills service.
375
00:19:18,018 --> 00:19:19,313
Oh... nice one!
376
00:19:19,338 --> 00:19:21,649
I will be telling the whole of Munty.
377
00:19:21,674 --> 00:19:24,980
The critic was as happy
as a troll burning a book.
378
00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:27,573
[LAUGHS]
Congratulations!
379
00:19:27,598 --> 00:19:29,065
Ah... nice one, Svedd!
380
00:19:29,090 --> 00:19:33,024
- You know, it reminds me of the time..
- Not now, Herman.
381
00:19:40,819 --> 00:19:43,935
Ah! Svedd. I was just... erm...
382
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:49,512
- ch-ch-checking these doors.
- No-one escapes the Shadow of Death.
383
00:19:51,872 --> 00:19:56,426
In the end, the decision is the
judge's. Hers and hers alone.
384
00:19:56,451 --> 00:19:58,082
I want 1st prize!
385
00:19:58,107 --> 00:20:03,606
1st prize, joint-1st prize, highly
commended runner-up. Let's not split hairs.
386
00:20:03,631 --> 00:20:06,664
I think I'll stick with
Best Pet. Don't you?
387
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:07,689
Absolutely.
388
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:11,117
Is it hot in here?
389
00:20:11,142 --> 00:20:13,759
And you can drop your
pet off in the warehouse.
390
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:18,241
- Not too late, am I?
- Ah yes. The pear.
391
00:20:18,266 --> 00:20:20,258
You are in 2F.
392
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:22,974
[BAG OF COINS DROPS ON THE TABLE]
Oh! I...
393
00:20:22,983 --> 00:20:25,855
dropped this money!
394
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:30,310
No, I do not accept gifts
or bribes of any description.
395
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:34,895
Whatever. Waste of time.
396
00:20:36,786 --> 00:20:37,786
Stay!
397
00:20:40,302 --> 00:20:42,046
See? Like that.
398
00:20:47,422 --> 00:20:48,422
No.
399
00:20:53,178 --> 00:20:54,178
No.
400
00:20:57,178 --> 00:20:58,178
No.
401
00:21:01,912 --> 00:21:05,246
- No.
- Come on mate, I've only had 2 hours sleep
402
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:11,250
No.
403
00:21:13,617 --> 00:21:14,617
No.
404
00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:18,193
- No.
- [WHIMPERS]
405
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:25,960
No.
406
00:21:26,656 --> 00:21:29,615
Hey guys. That review's paying off.
407
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:33,455
Got our first VIP booking.
Slasher Morgan, plus guest.
408
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:34,480
[CHUCKLES]
409
00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:36,407
Victory's in sight.
410
00:21:36,836 --> 00:21:41,484
I, the Shadow of Death,
will track, will kill, and will cook..
411
00:21:43,891 --> 00:21:46,529
the thing I have tracked and killed.
412
00:21:48,990 --> 00:21:51,201
For glory!
413
00:21:57,867 --> 00:21:58,867
No.
414
00:22:04,445 --> 00:22:05,795
- [SIGHS]
- Steg!
415
00:22:05,820 --> 00:22:07,120
Sally!
416
00:22:10,060 --> 00:22:12,793
- So. We gonna go to the pub?
- Absolutely.
417
00:22:12,814 --> 00:22:16,347
- Meet your little gang?
- Yeah, yeah. First, erm...
418
00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:20,715
Oh!
419
00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:24,025
I have a little present for
you. It's a token of my love.
420
00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:25,184
Ooh, that's nice.
421
00:22:26,197 --> 00:22:29,079
- Ooh!
- It's perfume. Luxury perfume.
422
00:22:29,104 --> 00:22:31,047
Oh. You're a keeper.
423
00:22:31,072 --> 00:22:32,525
- Try it.
- I'll save it for later.
424
00:22:32,533 --> 00:22:35,000
No. Try it now. Just a little squirt.
425
00:22:35,910 --> 00:22:37,386
Oh, it's... quite strong.
426
00:22:37,410 --> 00:22:39,354
- Nice though, isn't it?
- Yeah.
427
00:22:39,370 --> 00:22:41,806
That's it. And round the back.
428
00:22:41,831 --> 00:22:43,736
[COUGHS AND CHOKES]
429
00:22:43,761 --> 00:22:45,494
There. And one for luck...
430
00:22:48,861 --> 00:22:50,351
Ooh, wow.
431
00:22:50,376 --> 00:22:52,976
- Let's eat!
- [COUGHS]
432
00:22:53,001 --> 00:22:57,976
In your honour, the chef is gonna
prepare something really amazing.
433
00:22:58,001 --> 00:22:59,001
Enjoy.
434
00:23:01,932 --> 00:23:05,977
Well, Slasher. Very nice of
you to invite us all for dinner.
435
00:23:06,002 --> 00:23:10,102
My please, Kevlar. Just wanted to say,
no hard feelings.
436
00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:13,469
Don't get too distressed when
Kimberly makes it 8 wins in a row.
437
00:23:13,494 --> 00:23:16,221
You mean when Wilson takes 1st prize.
438
00:23:16,237 --> 00:23:20,447
[EVIL LAUGH]
439
00:23:20,472 --> 00:23:21,549
I don't think so.
440
00:23:21,565 --> 00:23:25,064
[STRANGLED LAUGH]
441
00:23:25,089 --> 00:23:26,221
Think so.
442
00:23:26,246 --> 00:23:29,987
[BOTH LAUGH]
443
00:23:30,012 --> 00:23:33,987
Oh right,
I'll just get this out to table 6.
444
00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:36,143
What's that in the duck?
445
00:23:36,168 --> 00:23:40,834
Er, it's err, it's just stuff...
stuffing. It's stuffed with stuffing.
446
00:23:45,394 --> 00:23:51,043
"Please help me. I'm being kept
prisoner in the kitchen by a mentalist."
447
00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:55,471
Oh... I don't know
how that got in there.
448
00:23:55,496 --> 00:23:59,258
It looks like... Herman's
handwriting. It's a bit disrespectful.
449
00:23:59,283 --> 00:24:02,033
Anyway I'll get these
peas out to table 2.
450
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:04,041
Table 2 didn't order any peas.
451
00:24:04,924 --> 00:24:05,924
Didn't they?
452
00:24:06,723 --> 00:24:09,323
Could've sworn they did,
I just... Oh.
453
00:24:11,629 --> 00:24:12,829
[CRACK OF THUNDER]
454
00:24:14,441 --> 00:24:15,641
Herman?
455
00:24:16,988 --> 00:24:19,807
- Howell, where have you been?
- Barbara, I've got a late entrant.
456
00:24:19,831 --> 00:24:21,893
No, I'm sorry Howell, rules are rules.
457
00:24:21,917 --> 00:24:25,727
The thing is, due to a
slight misunderstanding,
458
00:24:25,752 --> 00:24:29,288
I sort of promised... well,
more like guaranteed,
459
00:24:29,313 --> 00:24:31,923
that slasher's pig would
win the competition.
460
00:24:31,940 --> 00:24:33,516
- What?
- And also,
461
00:24:33,541 --> 00:24:37,110
there was a surprisingly
similar misunderstanding,
462
00:24:37,135 --> 00:24:40,344
where I sort of promised...
more like guaranteed
463
00:24:40,369 --> 00:24:43,571
that Kevlar's toad
would win in as well.
464
00:24:43,596 --> 00:24:46,063
- Howell!
- They forced me, Barbara.
465
00:24:46,530 --> 00:24:49,396
With money. I'm the true victim here.
466
00:24:49,421 --> 00:24:51,240
They can't both win the competition.
467
00:24:51,265 --> 00:24:54,646
That's where Fergus comes into it.
468
00:24:54,671 --> 00:24:59,278
- Meet the protector's hedgehog.
- How did you get him?
469
00:24:59,303 --> 00:25:03,343
That's not important. What is
important is that if Fergus wins,
470
00:25:03,368 --> 00:25:07,289
nobody will question the
decision. It's genius! [LAUGHS]
471
00:25:07,314 --> 00:25:09,107
No, Howell. No.
472
00:25:09,132 --> 00:25:12,091
It's got to be a totally,
completely fair competition
473
00:25:12,116 --> 00:25:14,333
Please, Barbara. Please. I'm begging you.
474
00:25:14,358 --> 00:25:15,358
No.
475
00:25:16,379 --> 00:25:18,246
Eyes, cry.
[MAGICAL WHOOSH]
476
00:25:19,090 --> 00:25:21,395
[CRIES]
477
00:25:23,686 --> 00:25:29,636
[STUTTERS] I've got...
myself... in this... terrible situation.
478
00:25:29,661 --> 00:25:33,989
I need your help.
You're my oldest friend.
479
00:25:35,622 --> 00:25:37,902
I suppose I could do something.
480
00:25:37,927 --> 00:25:39,370
Eyes, dry.
481
00:25:39,395 --> 00:25:42,195
Great! I'll stick Fergus
in the warehouse.
482
00:25:42,859 --> 00:25:43,859
Oh.
483
00:25:44,406 --> 00:25:45,406
HOWELL: Crunt!
484
00:25:47,445 --> 00:25:49,593
- Slasher's pig's escaped.
- [GASPS]
485
00:25:49,617 --> 00:25:51,536
But doesn't that mean...?
486
00:25:51,561 --> 00:25:53,241
[BOTH SCREAM]
487
00:25:53,266 --> 00:25:57,553
It was basically pouring out of this
tube. Honestly, massive big piles of it.
488
00:25:57,578 --> 00:26:00,756
Never seen such an overspill. [LAUGHS]
489
00:26:00,781 --> 00:26:02,476
This is delicious. Do
you wanna try some?
490
00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:07,080
- Are you still wearing gloves at work?
- Yeah. Really thick. Totally waterproof.
491
00:26:07,088 --> 00:26:11,222
So you can imagine how cross I
was when I lost them. Shocker!
492
00:26:13,588 --> 00:26:16,748
- Look, Sally, I really like you, but...
- Me too.
493
00:26:16,764 --> 00:26:18,513
- Sure.
- Such a great evening.
494
00:26:18,522 --> 00:26:20,950
- Yeah, I know...
- I was thinking. Why don't we go...
495
00:26:20,975 --> 00:26:23,584
to the Lake of Serenity?
Have a midnight swim.
496
00:26:24,318 --> 00:26:28,332
Swim? As in, water? Like a big bath?
497
00:26:28,340 --> 00:26:30,607
Yeah, come on, let's do it. Naked.
498
00:26:32,801 --> 00:26:33,949
Bill please, Herman.
499
00:26:33,957 --> 00:26:36,654
Incredibly acute sense
of smell, hedgehogs.
500
00:26:36,662 --> 00:26:38,919
- He's picked up the scent!
- There ya go.
501
00:26:38,928 --> 00:26:39,928
Yes!
502
00:26:40,865 --> 00:26:42,700
Hedgehog... up!
503
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:48,840
Hunt.. pig.
504
00:26:50,254 --> 00:26:51,254
Fast.
505
00:26:58,331 --> 00:26:59,398
It's in the pub!
506
00:27:00,487 --> 00:27:04,017
Look under the tables.
I'll check behind the bar.
507
00:27:04,042 --> 00:27:06,375
Can't be hard to
spot a silver pig.
508
00:27:06,401 --> 00:27:10,170
- Woah!
- ? La la la la la la la ?
509
00:27:10,195 --> 00:27:12,288
What are you doing? Can you
get out of the way, please?
510
00:27:12,304 --> 00:27:14,062
- Er, no, no I can't.
- Silver pig?
511
00:27:14,070 --> 00:27:16,920
- Yes. I know.
- Slasher's silver pig.
512
00:27:16,945 --> 00:27:21,245
- I know. I'm trying to take it over.
- It's slasher's pet, Kimberly.
513
00:27:21,253 --> 00:27:23,964
What's the hold-up?
Where's Slasher's foo...
514
00:27:23,972 --> 00:27:25,947
Oh God. What are we gonna do?
515
00:27:25,972 --> 00:27:28,525
Howell. Can't we do a
bit of the old alakazam?
516
00:27:28,550 --> 00:27:31,550
It's cooked, Brian.
Just like we will be.
517
00:27:32,845 --> 00:27:34,579
I'll get this back
in the kitchen.
518
00:27:35,657 --> 00:27:37,524
Take that across to table 4.
519
00:27:38,931 --> 00:27:40,131
Now.
520
00:27:46,989 --> 00:27:49,723
You know what? I
shouldn't be doing this.
521
00:27:50,482 --> 00:27:53,044
You should. For glory.
522
00:27:54,803 --> 00:27:56,403
For glory! You're right.
523
00:27:57,615 --> 00:28:00,255
Victory... will be mine.
524
00:28:01,060 --> 00:28:03,599
Behold! Slow roast...
525
00:28:04,896 --> 00:28:10,557
silver pig. Sourced, slaughtered,
and butchered by my own hand.
526
00:28:11,847 --> 00:28:13,190
[LAUGHS]
527
00:28:15,276 --> 00:28:16,876
And for the gentleman...
528
00:28:19,558 --> 00:28:20,891
Toad in the hole.
529
00:28:20,932 --> 00:28:23,455
[SHOUTS] Wilson!
530
00:28:25,143 --> 00:28:26,618
Come on.
531
00:28:26,643 --> 00:28:30,094
- Ah. Well, last one in is a wuss.
- Yes!
532
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:34,400
- Oh no. I missed one.
- What?
533
00:28:36,244 --> 00:28:39,080
I spent all afternoon
clearing that sewage spill
534
00:28:39,088 --> 00:28:41,088
I don't know how I
missed that. It's ginormous!
535
00:28:41,713 --> 00:28:44,913
There's one of my gloves.
Right, come here, you.
536
00:28:47,535 --> 00:28:48,735
[SIGHS]
537
00:28:50,277 --> 00:28:52,722
[MOANS]
538
00:28:58,957 --> 00:29:02,681
Leesh? You won't believe this.
539
00:29:02,706 --> 00:29:05,253
You know that guy I was telling
you about with the crazy eyes?
540
00:29:05,269 --> 00:29:08,808
Yeah, Howell. Turns out he's
been living in the store cupboard.
541
00:29:08,816 --> 00:29:11,442
There's a microwave in here,
there's wine, there's cereal.
542
00:29:11,466 --> 00:29:13,399
I'm gonna send you a picture.
543
00:29:14,661 --> 00:29:15,661
[LIGHT BUZZES]
544
00:29:18,497 --> 00:29:20,064
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
545
00:29:21,012 --> 00:29:22,512
[SCREAMS]
546
00:29:25,290 --> 00:29:28,109
? There's something happening here ?
547
00:29:29,533 --> 00:29:32,874
? But what it is ain't exactly clear ?
548
00:29:34,454 --> 00:29:37,774
? There's a man with a gun over there ?
549
00:29:39,182 --> 00:29:42,626
? Telling me I got to beware ?
550
00:29:43,667 --> 00:29:45,345
? I think it's time we stop ?
551
00:29:45,370 --> 00:29:47,189
? Children, what's that sound? ?
552
00:29:47,214 --> 00:29:50,522
? Everybody look - what's going down? ?
553
00:29:50,572 --> 00:29:55,122
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