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1
00:00:10,888 --> 00:00:12,421
My name's Brian Weaver.
2
00:00:13,505 --> 00:00:17,190
I come from the city of London.
Well, just outside.
3
00:00:17,215 --> 00:00:21,832
Isleworth. If you get the fast train from
Waterloo, it's only about 30 minutes, tops.
4
00:00:23,301 --> 00:00:27,818
Anyway, I've ended up in a parallel
world thanks to some stupid amulet.
5
00:00:29,045 --> 00:00:31,528
[SHRIEKS IN PAIN]
Ow!
6
00:00:31,553 --> 00:00:32,553
I made some friends,
7
00:00:33,818 --> 00:00:35,203
and met some fairies.
8
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:41,184
and a wizard called Howell said he
could get me home, but he messed up.
9
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,629
I'm standing in the wrong triangle!
10
00:00:43,654 --> 00:00:45,269
Now I don't know where he is.
11
00:00:45,294 --> 00:00:47,761
Have you come to fix the photocopier?
12
00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:49,458
Yes.
13
00:00:50,872 --> 00:00:54,950
Then some weird assassin turned up,
and started giving it the big I Am.
14
00:00:54,966 --> 00:00:56,660
We meet at last,
15
00:00:56,685 --> 00:00:58,094
Breenan Whifter.
16
00:00:58,119 --> 00:00:59,319
Weaver...
17
00:01:00,205 --> 00:01:01,205
Brian Weaver?
18
00:01:02,084 --> 00:01:04,192
But, I managed to escape.
19
00:01:04,217 --> 00:01:07,284
I ran and ran until I
couldn't go on any more.
20
00:01:07,307 --> 00:01:09,861
[PUFFS AND PANTS]
21
00:01:10,523 --> 00:01:11,723
Then I carried on.
22
00:01:20,672 --> 00:01:22,739
And that's when you rescued me.
23
00:01:23,461 --> 00:01:24,861
It's good to be safe.
24
00:01:28,477 --> 00:01:29,677
Bollocks.
25
00:01:51,359 --> 00:01:56,272
Upsie-daisy. Wakey
wakey. Rise and shine.
26
00:01:59,030 --> 00:02:00,297
What time is it?
27
00:02:00,304 --> 00:02:01,504
Bath-time!
28
00:02:11,996 --> 00:02:13,596
[FLYING INSECTS BUZZ]
29
00:02:19,552 --> 00:02:20,752
They're mine!
30
00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:23,940
[SOUND OF CUTTING METAL]
31
00:02:24,615 --> 00:02:27,015
- Herman!
- It's a bloody metal moth!
32
00:02:34,199 --> 00:02:35,886
- Herman!
- Aw, I nearly had it!
33
00:02:35,911 --> 00:02:37,911
I just got a glimpse of Brian.
34
00:02:38,364 --> 00:02:40,630
But... he was bright orange.
35
00:02:40,655 --> 00:02:41,655
Orange?
36
00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:43,386
Maybe it wasn't Brian.
37
00:02:43,858 --> 00:02:44,858
Maybe it was...
38
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:46,865
What's orange?
39
00:02:47,212 --> 00:02:48,745
- An orange...
- Yeah!
40
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,970
- [SIGHS]
- Any sign of Howell in there?
41
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:56,726
["LOADED" BY PRIMAL SCREAM PLAYING]
42
00:02:59,406 --> 00:03:04,123
[LAUGHS] I can't believe you
ran the marathon in under 4 hours.
43
00:03:04,148 --> 00:03:06,156
- Yeah!
- In a suit of armour.
44
00:03:06,181 --> 00:03:08,436
Well, it's not about me, Greg.
45
00:03:08,461 --> 00:03:11,261
It's all about those
poor Spanish donkeys.
46
00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:14,746
The link to the charity website
didn't work, so here's 200 cash.
47
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:16,429
Lovely. Much appreciated.
48
00:03:18,005 --> 00:03:19,405
[CHEERING]
49
00:03:23,098 --> 00:03:25,105
Mr. Marathon!
50
00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:26,796
Here he is, Mr. Mo Farah.
51
00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:29,509
It's not about me,
Caz. It's about the orphanage.
52
00:03:29,534 --> 00:03:34,150
- Thought it was donkeys.
- Yeah, it's actually a donkey orphanage.
53
00:03:34,175 --> 00:03:36,245
Those poor little donkeys
without a mummy and daddy.
54
00:03:36,270 --> 00:03:39,244
It breaks my heart,
Greg. I felt I had to do something.
55
00:03:39,269 --> 00:03:42,165
Hmm. It's very sad. When is it
you're swimming the channel?
56
00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:45,540
Just waiting for the
goose fat. I'll let you know.
57
00:03:45,565 --> 00:03:46,579
Well done, man.
58
00:03:46,604 --> 00:03:47,604
Amaze-balls.
59
00:03:47,612 --> 00:03:49,945
- Can I have a quick word?
- Sure.
60
00:03:49,987 --> 00:03:52,274
- Congratulations!
- Cheers Carol.
61
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,009
Amazing. Well done.
62
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,946
Thank you.
63
00:03:55,971 --> 00:03:58,681
I don't suppose you'd care to
make a donation, would you Caz?
64
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:02,329
To buy wheelchairs for the
sick baby donkey orphans?
65
00:04:02,354 --> 00:04:05,897
The link to the website was down,
so I thought I would give you...
66
00:04:07,018 --> 00:04:08,018
Oh. Charming.
67
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:14,185
Well... I can't believe it.
68
00:04:15,308 --> 00:04:17,064
Well, you'll never guess who's in town.
69
00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:18,183
- Brian?
- Howell?
70
00:04:18,207 --> 00:04:20,088
No! The circus!
71
00:04:20,113 --> 00:04:23,129
Circus? That's brilliant.
It's got performing animals.
72
00:04:23,154 --> 00:04:25,715
Kept in cages. It's so cruel!
73
00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:27,497
It's got an orc that does tricks.
74
00:04:27,522 --> 00:04:30,023
- Yeah, and you know what I call that?
- Fun for all the family?
75
00:04:30,048 --> 00:04:31,601
Exploitation.
76
00:04:31,626 --> 00:04:33,538
We should do something about it.
77
00:04:33,552 --> 00:04:35,644
Too right. We should organise a protest.
78
00:04:35,669 --> 00:04:37,691
- Let's do it together.
- Absolutely.
79
00:04:37,716 --> 00:04:39,519
Side by side.
80
00:04:39,544 --> 00:04:41,066
Only with me in a...
81
00:04:41,091 --> 00:04:43,024
slightly more executive role.
82
00:04:43,054 --> 00:04:44,483
Agh! Got it!
83
00:04:45,929 --> 00:04:47,325
Finally.
84
00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:48,950
All my metal-ware's safe.
85
00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,678
How to kill these things?
86
00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:53,295
What? You can't kill it!
87
00:04:53,304 --> 00:04:55,246
I'll release it into the wild.
88
00:04:55,255 --> 00:04:56,721
It's much more humane.
89
00:04:58,075 --> 00:05:00,207
Crunt. There's 2 of them.
90
00:05:01,346 --> 00:05:03,096
[METALLIC SAWING SOUND]
91
00:05:05,034 --> 00:05:05,837
[GLASS BALL SMASHES]
92
00:05:05,862 --> 00:05:06,995
Oh, double-crunt!
93
00:05:09,345 --> 00:05:12,398
Come on, lovely. We've
got a show to do tonight.
94
00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:14,101
Last one of the tour.
95
00:05:14,126 --> 00:05:15,383
- Is it?
- No.
96
00:05:17,714 --> 00:05:18,714
Are you tired?
97
00:05:19,417 --> 00:05:22,164
Would you like a night
off? Nice comfy bed?
98
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,349
Yeah, I'd like that.
99
00:05:23,383 --> 00:05:26,983
And I'd love to give it to you, Brian, I
really would, but, you see, I can't because
100
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,249
you're nothing.
101
00:05:28,274 --> 00:05:31,561
You're less than scum, so you see,
I've got to make you carry on.
102
00:05:31,586 --> 00:05:34,030
You see the difficult
position you've put me in?
103
00:05:34,055 --> 00:05:35,346
But you said you'd let me go.
104
00:05:35,362 --> 00:05:39,259
I know I did Brian, but I was lying!
105
00:05:39,284 --> 00:05:41,784
That's what makes it
all so difficult for me.
106
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:44,212
But we've just got to make
the best of it, haven't we?
107
00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:46,148
Yes, please. Thank you.
108
00:05:46,173 --> 00:05:47,373
Do you need a hug?
109
00:05:48,577 --> 00:05:51,921
I can't touch you though, Brian, because
you're almost certainly riddled with lice,
110
00:05:51,946 --> 00:05:54,121
but what I can do is
give you a little treat.
111
00:05:54,929 --> 00:05:55,929
Double slops.
112
00:05:59,997 --> 00:06:01,863
It's not as bad as it looks.
113
00:06:02,614 --> 00:06:04,014
That was another lie.
114
00:06:05,601 --> 00:06:07,718
So, I've been looking
at the purchase ledger,
115
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:10,562
and someone signed off on this,
but I don't recognise the signature.
116
00:06:10,594 --> 00:06:14,861
They've ordered a 2nd-hand microwave,
an oscillating desk fan,
117
00:06:14,891 --> 00:06:18,758
17 car batteries. and a drum
of industrial copper cabling.
118
00:06:19,859 --> 00:06:21,147
Could it be IT?
119
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,195
What? No, look, here's another one.
120
00:06:23,219 --> 00:06:27,281
6 boxes of wine - Australian
red - and 24 packets of cereal.
121
00:06:29,051 --> 00:06:30,651
Could it be... catering?
122
00:06:30,668 --> 00:06:32,933
And the key to the store
room's gone missing.
123
00:06:32,942 --> 00:06:35,519
Oh. Leave it with me.
124
00:06:37,406 --> 00:06:40,889
So, shall I come over tonight?
Say, 7 o'clock?
125
00:06:40,914 --> 00:06:42,714
I can say I'm working late.
126
00:06:43,805 --> 00:06:44,805
We'll see.
127
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,080
Free drink to anyone who gets the moth.
128
00:06:58,729 --> 00:07:00,157
Behind you!
129
00:07:00,182 --> 00:07:01,477
Got it!
130
00:07:03,768 --> 00:07:04,768
What?
131
00:07:05,807 --> 00:07:06,993
Isn't that...
132
00:07:07,018 --> 00:07:08,018
a fairy?
133
00:07:08,049 --> 00:07:09,127
Oh... crunt.
134
00:07:10,112 --> 00:07:12,074
- What should I do? Should I let it out?
- No no no, it's angry.
135
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,499
Wail 'til it's calmed down.
136
00:07:14,724 --> 00:07:16,258
I'll just put it there.
137
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:19,845
How long should I leave it, guys?
138
00:07:21,463 --> 00:07:22,730
Guys?
[DOOR SLAMS]
139
00:07:24,674 --> 00:07:26,860
So, I'm sure you know
why we've called you in.
140
00:07:26,885 --> 00:07:31,273
Yeah. Can I just say that I would never,
ever, under any circumstances,
141
00:07:31,298 --> 00:07:33,234
defecate into a pot plant.
142
00:07:33,259 --> 00:07:34,570
It's not...
143
00:07:34,595 --> 00:07:36,482
- Sorry, what was that?
- Nothing.
144
00:07:36,507 --> 00:07:37,724
Right. Erm...
145
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:42,248
Well, we know how committed you are.
Caz says you're always first in, last out.
146
00:07:42,273 --> 00:07:45,623
- Well...
- A valued member of the darts team.
147
00:07:45,648 --> 00:07:48,511
Yeah. But, there have been some issues.
148
00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:52,664
Erm, your IT skills,
your accountancy skills, and...
149
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:56,320
of course all the negative publicity
following the whole Stone Henge incident.
150
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,024
I did give that stone back.
151
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:02,141
So, Greg and I have come
to a very difficult decision.
152
00:08:03,259 --> 00:08:06,526
And I'm afraid we're
going to have to let you go.
153
00:08:08,144 --> 00:08:10,544
Can I just ask one question, please?
154
00:08:10,566 --> 00:08:15,191
What is company policy regarding
having extra-marital relations with your...
155
00:08:15,199 --> 00:08:16,399
line manager?
156
00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:22,822
Actually, I was thinking we
could give you one last chance.
157
00:08:22,847 --> 00:08:24,136
Great!
[THUMPS TABLE]
158
00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:26,234
See you down the pub!
[LAUGHS]
159
00:08:29,144 --> 00:08:31,471
The show is starting...
160
00:08:31,496 --> 00:08:34,029
and there are still tickets available.
161
00:08:49,145 --> 00:08:50,145
Not again!
162
00:08:51,044 --> 00:08:52,506
Come on, Barbara.
163
00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:54,670
Well how come I have
to make the placards?
164
00:08:54,695 --> 00:08:57,983
Because I'm the advance party scoping
out the best place for us to demonstrate.
165
00:08:58,008 --> 00:08:59,008
and?
166
00:09:01,016 --> 00:09:04,155
- Here's fine.
- I've never done a protest before!
167
00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:05,913
Look...
168
00:09:05,938 --> 00:09:06,938
and learn.
169
00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:10,592
Cheap tickets mean
low standards of welfare.
170
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,361
Cheap tickets? Sounds great!
171
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,971
They have a captive orc.
172
00:09:13,979 --> 00:09:16,110
- Captive orc?
- We love orcs.
173
00:09:16,135 --> 00:09:21,080
And, there is a degrading exotic dance act.
They get pelted with rotten fruit.
174
00:09:23,464 --> 00:09:24,664
[SIGHS]
175
00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:27,667
These placards,
Barbara. Your wording's all wrong.
176
00:09:27,691 --> 00:09:30,627
Herman! What are you doing here?
177
00:09:30,652 --> 00:09:32,328
- Nothing.
- Is that rotten fruit?
178
00:09:32,336 --> 00:09:34,117
What? As if.
179
00:09:35,453 --> 00:09:37,014
FEFFENHOFFER: That's it, sold out.
180
00:09:37,039 --> 00:09:38,374
Oh.
181
00:09:38,399 --> 00:09:39,999
Well that's embarrassing.
182
00:09:43,245 --> 00:09:44,445
[SIGHS]
183
00:09:44,456 --> 00:09:45,923
[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING]
184
00:09:49,151 --> 00:09:55,435
Welcome to Feffenhoffer's
Magical Travelling Amazementarium.
185
00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:59,297
of wondrous curiosiations.
186
00:10:05,974 --> 00:10:09,644
And we start with our daredevil orc,
187
00:10:09,669 --> 00:10:13,714
who will dive from an
impossible height into water.
188
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:16,542
and emerge completely unscathed.
189
00:10:16,567 --> 00:10:18,660
[APPLAUSE]
190
00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:27,652
[DRUM ROLL]
191
00:10:29,936 --> 00:10:32,264
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
192
00:10:35,152 --> 00:10:36,652
[CRASH, SPLASH]
193
00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:37,734
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
194
00:10:38,152 --> 00:10:39,783
[WEAKLY] Ta-da!
195
00:10:39,808 --> 00:10:41,342
Completely unscathed...
196
00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:47,824
And now, an act which is the talk of the Western Marches.
197
00:10:48,130 --> 00:10:51,684
Mr. Fluffy, our musical throth.
198
00:10:51,709 --> 00:10:53,842
[AUDIENCE CHEERS]
199
00:10:56,749 --> 00:10:59,349
[PLAYS MUSIC ON GLOCKENSPIEL AND DRUMS]
200
00:11:10,663 --> 00:11:12,655
[AUDIENCE CHEERS]
201
00:11:15,678 --> 00:11:17,756
And now, a man...
202
00:11:19,077 --> 00:11:20,543
from another world,
203
00:11:22,486 --> 00:11:24,019
and, his exotic dances.
204
00:11:29,049 --> 00:11:31,281
It was 2015.
205
00:11:31,306 --> 00:11:34,723
I'd reached the final of
Strictly Come Dancing,
206
00:11:34,748 --> 00:11:38,364
the world's greatest dance competition.
207
00:11:38,389 --> 00:11:40,254
My partner,
208
00:11:40,279 --> 00:11:41,754
Orla and I,
209
00:11:41,779 --> 00:11:42,779
started...
210
00:11:44,357 --> 00:11:45,357
with a rumba.
211
00:11:48,043 --> 00:11:49,941
[CROWD JEERS]
212
00:11:51,261 --> 00:11:55,129
Come on, Orla. We have to at least
get a 7 from Craig Revel Horwood.
213
00:11:55,145 --> 00:11:56,121
[AUDIENCE BOOS]
214
00:11:56,145 --> 00:12:01,723
or we'll end up in the dance-off
against Dave, from The Hairy Bikers.
215
00:12:06,002 --> 00:12:07,002
Brian?
216
00:12:08,174 --> 00:12:09,174
Herman!
217
00:12:10,815 --> 00:12:12,861
Herman! You've got
to get me out of here!
218
00:12:12,869 --> 00:12:16,719
I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen. We appear
to be experiencing some technical issues.
219
00:12:16,744 --> 00:12:19,001
Herman! Tell the others! Send help!
220
00:12:19,026 --> 00:12:22,017
- There'll now be a short intermission.
- I thought that was quite good.
221
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,200
Ban the circus.
222
00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:27,925
Big rally tomorrow.
223
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:31,215
Speech by me, Steg Stegson,
campaign leader.
224
00:12:31,239 --> 00:12:32,387
Hey! I just saw Brian.
225
00:12:32,412 --> 00:12:33,644
- What?
- Who?
226
00:12:33,646 --> 00:12:36,161
Yeah. He was one of the acts.
His face was all orange.
227
00:12:36,193 --> 00:12:38,964
[GASPS] That's just like
I saw in the crystal ball!
228
00:12:38,989 --> 00:12:42,335
He started shouting "Please help me!",
then got dragged off stage.
229
00:12:42,343 --> 00:12:43,543
Very modern.
230
00:12:44,101 --> 00:12:46,865
- Not really my cup of tea, though.
- What are we going to do?
231
00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:49,861
Well, we need to finish leafleting the
square, then I'm going to lie down for a bit.
232
00:12:49,886 --> 00:12:53,322
About Brian! We've got to free him.
233
00:12:53,347 --> 00:12:55,693
We have to free all oppressed
workers, Barbara.
234
00:12:55,718 --> 00:12:58,185
Now, I'm happy to set
up a working party...
235
00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:00,877
I am rescuing Brian. Are you helping me?
236
00:13:01,896 --> 00:13:03,527
- Hmm?
- Yes.
237
00:13:03,552 --> 00:13:05,106
Great plan, guys.
238
00:13:05,131 --> 00:13:08,747
Maybe I should go and check
on the... the old you-know-what.
239
00:13:08,763 --> 00:13:11,020
He will have calmed down by now, wouldn't he?
240
00:13:11,045 --> 00:13:12,005
BOTH: Yeah...
241
00:13:20,405 --> 00:13:22,404
Ohhh... Brian.
242
00:13:23,288 --> 00:13:25,821
What have you got to say for yourself?
243
00:13:26,853 --> 00:13:28,556
Have I put you in a difficult position?
244
00:13:28,572 --> 00:13:31,324
You have, Brian. You have!
245
00:13:31,349 --> 00:13:33,400
What does it say in
your contract? Clause 38.
246
00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:37,946
38... At no point during any
performance or part thereof,
247
00:13:37,971 --> 00:13:43,831
shall the aforementioned performer make
such remarks as can be construed as
248
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:49,739
making contact with the audience for
the purpose of securing their release.
249
00:13:50,498 --> 00:13:52,418
Or....
250
00:13:52,443 --> 00:13:53,950
Or you can hit me with a stick.
251
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:57,457
Exactly Brian. That's why we
have this contract. It's to protect you.
252
00:13:57,482 --> 00:14:00,942
Now we have an extra show
tomorrow. It's a new double-act.
253
00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:03,912
It's you, and... Molly.
254
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,731
Molly, the sabre-toothed bear?
255
00:14:08,756 --> 00:14:09,922
That's right, Brian. Yes.
256
00:14:09,946 --> 00:14:13,311
And, err... what will I be doing, exactly?
257
00:14:13,336 --> 00:14:18,422
A few seconds of running around, screaming,
and that pretty much takes you to the end,
258
00:14:20,787 --> 00:14:21,787
Oh! The stick.
259
00:14:24,584 --> 00:14:28,739
? Hands... ?
260
00:14:28,764 --> 00:14:31,801
? Touching hands ?
261
00:14:31,826 --> 00:14:35,035
? Reaching out ?
262
00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:38,181
? Touching me ?
263
00:14:38,206 --> 00:14:41,292
? Touching you ?
264
00:14:41,324 --> 00:14:43,002
Altogether now!
265
00:14:43,027 --> 00:14:46,105
? Sweet Caroline ?
266
00:14:48,183 --> 00:14:52,008
? Good times never seemed so good ?
267
00:14:54,630 --> 00:14:57,538
? I'd be inclined ?
268
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,421
? Da da da ?
269
00:14:59,446 --> 00:15:02,305
? To believe they never would ?
270
00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:05,688
[AUDIENCE CHEERS]
271
00:15:06,496 --> 00:15:07,696
[WINDOW OPENS]
272
00:15:11,762 --> 00:15:12,962
[CLOSES WINDOW]
273
00:15:27,241 --> 00:15:29,107
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
274
00:16:08,824 --> 00:16:12,535
Right. You distract the Ring Master, and
I'll go round the back and release everyone.
275
00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:13,617
Hang on Barbara.
276
00:16:14,498 --> 00:16:17,646
All decisions need to
go through the Chair.
277
00:16:17,671 --> 00:16:19,098
Right.
278
00:16:19,123 --> 00:16:21,943
I'll distract the Ring Master, and you
go round the back and free everyone.
279
00:16:21,966 --> 00:16:22,766
Seconded?
280
00:16:23,028 --> 00:16:24,028
Seconded?
281
00:16:25,247 --> 00:16:27,686
Right. You keep him talking.
I won't be more than an hour.
282
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:28,710
An hour?!
283
00:16:30,272 --> 00:16:31,272
Ohhh...
284
00:16:35,666 --> 00:16:38,000
Hi. Steg Stegson, Community Leader.
285
00:16:38,869 --> 00:16:41,003
Mr. FEFFENHOFFER. Circus Master.
286
00:16:42,221 --> 00:16:44,947
Running a circus? Gah,
that must be pretty interesting.
287
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,327
It is.
288
00:16:46,352 --> 00:16:47,552
Tell me everything!
289
00:16:58,242 --> 00:16:59,242
Brian?
290
00:17:00,383 --> 00:17:02,233
- Brian!
- Barbara!
291
00:17:02,258 --> 00:17:03,258
Oh, Brian!
292
00:17:04,844 --> 00:17:06,741
I can't believe it.
293
00:17:06,766 --> 00:17:10,604
I thought about you every day,
for 3 months.
294
00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,095
Yeah, ditto.
295
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,854
Oh, what happened to your trousers?
296
00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:18,978
Doesn't matter. Listen, Barbara,
I really need to get out of here, okay?
297
00:17:19,003 --> 00:17:21,128
There is a spare key in the wagon.
298
00:17:21,144 --> 00:17:23,477
We don't need a key. I've got this.
299
00:17:26,308 --> 00:17:28,150
- What is it?
- A metal moth.
300
00:17:28,175 --> 00:17:30,955
It can eat through metal. It'll
go through the bars in no time.
301
00:17:30,972 --> 00:17:32,963
Amazing! Thanks, Barbara!
302
00:17:34,366 --> 00:17:36,899
Let's get you out of here. Stand back.
303
00:17:40,964 --> 00:17:43,161
[MOTH EATS BARS OF OTHER CAGE]
304
00:17:43,186 --> 00:17:47,216
ORC: I'm free! I'm
off to join the circus!
305
00:17:47,951 --> 00:17:49,085
Another circus...
306
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,036
The moth'll be back in a minute.
307
00:17:58,177 --> 00:18:00,582
- So how have you been?
- Busy, yeah.
308
00:18:00,598 --> 00:18:05,143
Yeah, got captured, escaped, ran through
a forest 'til I couldn't run anymore,
309
00:18:05,159 --> 00:18:06,471
then I ran some more,
310
00:18:06,495 --> 00:18:09,697
then this guy caught me, chucked me in
a circus, and it's not coming back, is it?
311
00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:12,313
No... Where's that spare key?
312
00:18:12,338 --> 00:18:14,126
- In the wagon.
- Okay.
313
00:18:15,488 --> 00:18:18,339
Oh... beard suits you, by the way.
314
00:18:22,688 --> 00:18:26,483
So, Mr. Stegson,
or Steg if that's not too familiar.
315
00:18:26,508 --> 00:18:31,430
It's a very exciting life. No two days
the same, lots of travel, tight-knit team,
316
00:18:31,446 --> 00:18:34,912
and of course the perks
and the money are fantastic.
317
00:18:34,934 --> 00:18:37,315
Aw... and you think I'd make a good act?
318
00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:39,301
Absolutely! Naturally good-looking...
319
00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:40,325
Naturally good-looking.
320
00:18:40,965 --> 00:18:42,456
- Funny,
- I am funny...
321
00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:44,276
I'm seeing a headline act.
322
00:18:47,369 --> 00:18:49,064
But aren't all your acts kept in cages?
323
00:18:49,089 --> 00:18:52,705
- Of course they are! To protect them.
- Aw...
324
00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:57,003
...from the fans. Some of the women
in the crowd get very carried away.
325
00:18:57,027 --> 00:18:58,327
Carried away...
326
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:04,126
- And I'd be one of the main attractions?
- Top of the bill!
327
00:19:04,051 --> 00:19:06,166
Now, just so we're both happy,
what I suggest is that
328
00:19:06,191 --> 00:19:10,696
you sign this legally-binding framework,
just so that you are protected.
329
00:19:10,721 --> 00:19:13,088
Just out of interest,
how long have we been talking for?
330
00:19:13,096 --> 00:19:14,896
- About 4 minutes.
- Futt!
331
00:19:22,651 --> 00:19:26,291
Star dressing room he said.
I think there's been a mix-up.
332
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:29,811
I suppose he told you you
can come and go as you please.
333
00:19:29,819 --> 00:19:33,193
- What happened to your trousers?
- It doesn't matter, okay? Stop!
334
00:19:33,218 --> 00:19:35,005
Barbara's gone to get
the key. She'll get us out.
335
00:19:35,030 --> 00:19:37,381
Thing is, he was right
about my natural good looks.
336
00:19:38,499 --> 00:19:42,366
- Steg! Weren't you supposed to be...
- Just undo the lock.
337
00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,370
- I can't get it.
- There's a knack to it, okay?
338
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:51,528
You have to lift it up, pull it towards
you, and give the keys a little jiggle.
339
00:19:51,553 --> 00:19:54,735
Wait. Nah nah nah, what you're doing is,
you're pulling towards and then jiggling.
340
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,430
- You need to to jiggle it at the same...
- What has happened to my hawk?
341
00:19:58,455 --> 00:19:59,655
Hide the key!
342
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,211
Who the crunt are you?
343
00:20:06,085 --> 00:20:07,452
[MUFFLED NOISES]
344
00:20:08,757 --> 00:20:09,957
What?
345
00:20:11,382 --> 00:20:13,396
I'm the Circus Inspector.
346
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,421
Oh!
347
00:20:17,851 --> 00:20:20,310
I hope you understand what a...
348
00:20:20,335 --> 00:20:23,002
difficult position you've all put me in.
349
00:20:27,583 --> 00:20:28,783
I will return.
350
00:20:30,567 --> 00:20:31,967
Okay Barbara. Now!
351
00:20:34,896 --> 00:20:38,114
The key! Come on! Let's
go! Let's get out of here.
352
00:20:38,130 --> 00:20:40,396
There's a slight delay on the key.
353
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:43,807
Bright purple...
354
00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:46,870
That's not a good sign, is it?
355
00:20:51,175 --> 00:20:54,390
? Who's a bad fairy, go to sleep ?
356
00:21:00,113 --> 00:21:04,417
I'd like to report a stolen credit
card. Yeah, my name's Jess Evans.
357
00:21:04,433 --> 00:21:11,649
Yes, it's Jess Evans, security number 324,
and that's 10 boxes of Shiraz. Thank you.
358
00:21:12,227 --> 00:21:15,507
Howell, this arrived for
you. I think it's your goose fat.
359
00:21:15,532 --> 00:21:16,532
Finally!
360
00:21:20,754 --> 00:21:22,948
Is that to cheer up the donkeys?
361
00:21:22,973 --> 00:21:26,027
Oh, some weirdo is at
reception asking for you.
362
00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:28,113
He owes me 5 grand!
363
00:21:29,381 --> 00:21:33,716
Can you tell him that I died last night,
please?
364
00:21:33,741 --> 00:21:36,139
No, no. Tell him I died this morning.
365
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:38,881
No, no... last night. Yeah.
366
00:21:39,864 --> 00:21:41,998
- Cheers Caz.
- You're welcome.
367
00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:50,677
Maybe if someone had some prunes...
368
00:21:50,693 --> 00:21:52,972
You'd think this situation
would speed up your metabolism.
369
00:21:52,997 --> 00:21:55,934
You've been here months. You must've tried something.
370
00:21:55,951 --> 00:21:58,106
- Of course I've tried.
- Well, tried what?
371
00:21:58,131 --> 00:21:59,919
- I tried to dig a tunnel.
- Let's see it.
372
00:22:01,201 --> 00:22:02,777
It doesn't matter. I didn't finish it.
373
00:22:02,802 --> 00:22:04,701
No, come on. It'll be
better than nothing.
374
00:22:12,486 --> 00:22:15,946
- That's it, is it?
- Well I only had a spoon!
375
00:22:15,971 --> 00:22:17,258
Hang on...
376
00:22:17,283 --> 00:22:19,557
I think I can get through these bars.
377
00:22:19,566 --> 00:22:21,003
You can't. I've tried.
378
00:22:21,011 --> 00:22:25,278
Brian, I'm a lot thinner than you,
and my skin has natural oils.
379
00:22:26,519 --> 00:22:28,581
What about Howell? Did he ever turn up?
380
00:22:28,589 --> 00:22:30,722
No. No-one's seen him for months.
381
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,097
Who knows where he is?
382
00:22:33,122 --> 00:22:36,035
Probably off savouring the
pleasures of another wondrous world.
383
00:22:36,041 --> 00:22:39,641
[PLAYING "NOWHERE TO RUN"
BY MARTHA AND THE VANDELLAS]
384
00:22:50,431 --> 00:22:52,668
[ARGUING AMONGST EACH OTHER]
385
00:22:52,693 --> 00:22:53,993
That's him!
386
00:23:04,193 --> 00:23:06,126
You need to come out, Howell.
387
00:23:07,451 --> 00:23:11,646
If there's a problem, we can all
sit down and talk about it with HR.
388
00:23:11,654 --> 00:23:13,616
He owes me 5 grand.
389
00:23:13,641 --> 00:23:15,039
You lent Howell 5 grand?
390
00:23:15,055 --> 00:23:16,531
He said he'd find my cat.
391
00:23:16,547 --> 00:23:19,328
He said to me, this was the
leg bone of Pope Leo the 3rd.
392
00:23:21,649 --> 00:23:24,349
[RAMBLES]
393
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,866
What are you doing in there?
394
00:23:34,589 --> 00:23:35,789
Right, Howell,
395
00:23:36,425 --> 00:23:38,625
Stand back everybody. Stand back!
396
00:23:43,229 --> 00:23:46,163
If this doesn't work,
I am completely... fu-
397
00:23:51,381 --> 00:23:52,381
-cked!
398
00:23:55,724 --> 00:23:57,658
I'm pretty pleased with that.
399
00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,739
I'm just keeping a lookout.
400
00:24:02,518 --> 00:24:04,440
I can pull my head in at any time.
401
00:24:05,338 --> 00:24:09,671
Now my lovelies, we have a sell-out show,
and a very hungry bear.
402
00:24:10,329 --> 00:24:14,335
But, with half our acts having escaped,
you've put me in rather a difficult position.
403
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:17,741
So, do you know what I'm going to do?
404
00:24:17,766 --> 00:24:18,983
Cancel the show?
405
00:24:19,008 --> 00:24:21,787
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, etc..
406
00:24:21,812 --> 00:24:25,779
No. I am going to let all 3
of you play with the bear.
407
00:24:25,804 --> 00:24:31,348
So if you'd like to take these steaks,
and strap them to each of your heads.
408
00:24:31,373 --> 00:24:33,536
Give us one good reason why we should.
409
00:24:33,561 --> 00:24:34,561
This!
410
00:24:36,116 --> 00:24:37,583
That is a good reason.
411
00:24:38,288 --> 00:24:39,288
[LOUD SQUAWK]
412
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,267
All right, Trebor.
413
00:24:42,292 --> 00:24:44,364
You haven't seen any
fairies outside, have you?
414
00:24:44,372 --> 00:24:45,980
[TREBOR SQUAWKS]
415
00:24:46,005 --> 00:24:48,309
Brian, Barbara,
and Steg are all in the circus?
416
00:24:48,325 --> 00:24:50,261
[TREBOR SQUAWKS]
417
00:24:50,286 --> 00:24:51,669
And your son's learning trumpet?
418
00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:53,724
[TREBOR SQUAWKS]
419
00:24:53,749 --> 00:24:56,545
They're all going to fight a bear
with steaks strapped to their heads?
420
00:24:56,570 --> 00:24:57,636
[TREBOR SQUAWKS]
421
00:24:58,343 --> 00:24:59,543
Hang on - wait!
422
00:25:02,723 --> 00:25:03,923
Greetings, Herman.
423
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:07,925
Howell! My best customer!
424
00:25:07,950 --> 00:25:10,161
A Rhubarb Seizure, please, if I may.
425
00:25:10,186 --> 00:25:12,319
Actually Howell, I'm gonna need your help.
426
00:25:12,327 --> 00:25:14,663
Oh... I've just come
straight from the office.
427
00:25:14,686 --> 00:25:16,052
The day I've had!
428
00:25:16,077 --> 00:25:18,973
All the others are going
to be eaten. By a bear.
429
00:25:18,998 --> 00:25:20,235
Really?
430
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,647
Well if I've gotta fight a bear,
you'd better make it a large one!
431
00:25:24,663 --> 00:25:26,201
[LAUGHS]
432
00:25:26,226 --> 00:25:29,632
Look... If you won't help them now,
then you're barred.
433
00:25:29,657 --> 00:25:30,657
Sure, home.
434
00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:32,512
I've got a plan.
435
00:25:38,456 --> 00:25:39,756
I've got another plan.
436
00:25:41,308 --> 00:25:44,744
So what I'm proposing you to,
Mr. Feffenfoffer,
437
00:25:44,769 --> 00:25:50,281
A fair exchange...
3 of your utterly worthless performers,
438
00:25:50,306 --> 00:25:55,065
for 3 rare and exotic items,
439
00:25:55,090 --> 00:25:56,957
from a distant world.
440
00:25:58,527 --> 00:25:59,722
This...
441
00:25:59,731 --> 00:26:01,252
city...
442
00:26:01,277 --> 00:26:02,854
frozen...
443
00:26:02,879 --> 00:26:04,425
in a glass orb.
444
00:26:07,221 --> 00:26:08,978
With floaty white bits.
445
00:26:09,003 --> 00:26:10,003
[LAUGHS]
446
00:26:11,696 --> 00:26:12,696
This...
447
00:26:12,721 --> 00:26:14,142
delicious...
448
00:26:14,167 --> 00:26:15,924
cream liqueur.
449
00:26:17,435 --> 00:26:21,800
And finally, this
game-changing paper toner,
450
00:26:21,825 --> 00:26:25,958
with 25% off your next purchase at..
Wah.. Hah... Smiths.
451
00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:31,938
Thanks for coming to my rescue, guys.
It really was a 1st class effort.
452
00:26:31,946 --> 00:26:35,212
- Something happen to your trousers?
- Leave it!
453
00:26:36,069 --> 00:26:37,069
Futt!
454
00:26:37,803 --> 00:26:39,427
You wanna get some goose fat on that.
455
00:26:39,452 --> 00:26:40,852
Don't give up, Brian.
456
00:26:41,561 --> 00:26:42,894
There's always hope.
457
00:26:42,916 --> 00:26:46,352
It's showtime!
458
00:26:46,377 --> 00:26:47,511
And hope is gone.
459
00:26:48,612 --> 00:26:50,307
Excuse me, Mr. Fefffenhoffer?
460
00:26:50,315 --> 00:26:53,682
If you're spelling it
F.E.F.F.E.N.H.O.F.F.E.R., yes?
461
00:26:53,706 --> 00:26:58,239
I just wondered if you'd be
interested in a new act for your circus.
462
00:27:00,447 --> 00:27:03,618
What is it? Some sort
of aired elementum?
463
00:27:03,643 --> 00:27:04,843
Have a look.
464
00:27:08,755 --> 00:27:10,555
Did you put me in that jar?
465
00:27:11,841 --> 00:27:13,041
Oh.
466
00:27:16,812 --> 00:27:20,345
...seen it, a huge blast
of powerful earth-magic,
467
00:27:20,370 --> 00:27:23,370
known... as electrisisisisis.
468
00:27:24,116 --> 00:27:26,180
and then... BOOM.
469
00:27:26,205 --> 00:27:27,805
I was back in the Henge.
470
00:27:30,517 --> 00:27:32,984
You sing along to music on a machine?
471
00:27:34,830 --> 00:27:36,125
Incredible.
472
00:27:36,150 --> 00:27:37,230
They have wine...
473
00:27:37,255 --> 00:27:38,255
in a box.
474
00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:40,461
How do they get the
floaty white bits inside?
475
00:27:40,477 --> 00:27:42,006
Yeah, but...
476
00:27:42,031 --> 00:27:43,285
Jess and Greg?
477
00:27:44,762 --> 00:27:46,595
I just don't... get it. I mean...
478
00:27:47,543 --> 00:27:48,610
Greg?!
479
00:27:48,629 --> 00:27:51,698
I'm sorry, Brian. This
must be hard for you.
480
00:27:51,723 --> 00:27:54,796
Here! This'll cheer you up, Brian.
I got you some new earth-clothes.
481
00:27:54,821 --> 00:27:57,273
Oh, brilliant. I'm sick of this shirt.
482
00:27:57,298 --> 00:27:59,406
Eh-hey! Barely worn.
483
00:27:59,431 --> 00:28:01,070
[SNIFFS]
Cor, dear...
484
00:28:01,095 --> 00:28:02,395
10 sovs,
485
00:28:03,220 --> 00:28:04,890
Good luck, mate.
486
00:28:04,915 --> 00:28:06,667
You finished with that?
487
00:28:06,692 --> 00:28:09,965
Well... now that I've got
all my best customers back,
488
00:28:09,989 --> 00:28:11,926
I've got a feeling this
pub's going places.
489
00:28:11,950 --> 00:28:13,629
Well, I'm certainly going nowhere.
490
00:28:13,645 --> 00:28:15,989
- You're a Muntian.
- Muntonian.
491
00:28:16,005 --> 00:28:19,119
- A Muntyite.
- A complete... Munt!
492
00:28:19,127 --> 00:28:21,194
[METAL MOTH BUZZES]
493
00:28:21,213 --> 00:28:23,013
[METAL MOTH EATS SOMETHING]
494
00:28:25,205 --> 00:28:26,738
Hmm... That's bad luck.
495
00:28:27,197 --> 00:28:28,764
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
496
00:28:31,791 --> 00:28:33,858
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES AND POPS]
497
00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:45,806
Howell...
498
00:28:46,803 --> 00:28:50,737
["BAD MOON RISING" BY CREEDENCE
CLEARWATER REVIVAL PLAYING]
499
00:28:50,787 --> 00:28:55,337
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