All language subtitles for Zapped s03e01 Circus.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,888 --> 00:00:12,421 My name's Brian Weaver. 2 00:00:13,505 --> 00:00:17,190 I come from the city of London. Well, just outside. 3 00:00:17,215 --> 00:00:21,832 Isleworth. If you get the fast train from Waterloo, it's only about 30 minutes, tops. 4 00:00:23,301 --> 00:00:27,818 Anyway, I've ended up in a parallel world thanks to some stupid amulet. 5 00:00:29,045 --> 00:00:31,528 [SHRIEKS IN PAIN] Ow! 6 00:00:31,553 --> 00:00:32,553 I made some friends, 7 00:00:33,818 --> 00:00:35,203 and met some fairies. 8 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:41,184 and a wizard called Howell said he could get me home, but he messed up. 9 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,629 I'm standing in the wrong triangle! 10 00:00:43,654 --> 00:00:45,269 Now I don't know where he is. 11 00:00:45,294 --> 00:00:47,761 Have you come to fix the photocopier? 12 00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:49,458 Yes. 13 00:00:50,872 --> 00:00:54,950 Then some weird assassin turned up, and started giving it the big I Am. 14 00:00:54,966 --> 00:00:56,660 We meet at last, 15 00:00:56,685 --> 00:00:58,094 Breenan Whifter. 16 00:00:58,119 --> 00:00:59,319 Weaver... 17 00:01:00,205 --> 00:01:01,205 Brian Weaver? 18 00:01:02,084 --> 00:01:04,192 But, I managed to escape. 19 00:01:04,217 --> 00:01:07,284 I ran and ran until I couldn't go on any more. 20 00:01:07,307 --> 00:01:09,861 [PUFFS AND PANTS] 21 00:01:10,523 --> 00:01:11,723 Then I carried on. 22 00:01:20,672 --> 00:01:22,739 And that's when you rescued me. 23 00:01:23,461 --> 00:01:24,861 It's good to be safe. 24 00:01:28,477 --> 00:01:29,677 Bollocks. 25 00:01:51,359 --> 00:01:56,272 Upsie-daisy. Wakey wakey. Rise and shine. 26 00:01:59,030 --> 00:02:00,297 What time is it? 27 00:02:00,304 --> 00:02:01,504 Bath-time! 28 00:02:11,996 --> 00:02:13,596 [FLYING INSECTS BUZZ] 29 00:02:19,552 --> 00:02:20,752 They're mine! 30 00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:23,940 [SOUND OF CUTTING METAL] 31 00:02:24,615 --> 00:02:27,015 - Herman! - It's a bloody metal moth! 32 00:02:34,199 --> 00:02:35,886 - Herman! - Aw, I nearly had it! 33 00:02:35,911 --> 00:02:37,911 I just got a glimpse of Brian. 34 00:02:38,364 --> 00:02:40,630 But... he was bright orange. 35 00:02:40,655 --> 00:02:41,655 Orange? 36 00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:43,386 Maybe it wasn't Brian. 37 00:02:43,858 --> 00:02:44,858 Maybe it was... 38 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:46,865 What's orange? 39 00:02:47,212 --> 00:02:48,745 - An orange... - Yeah! 40 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,970 - [SIGHS] - Any sign of Howell in there? 41 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:56,726 ["LOADED" BY PRIMAL SCREAM PLAYING] 42 00:02:59,406 --> 00:03:04,123 [LAUGHS] I can't believe you ran the marathon in under 4 hours. 43 00:03:04,148 --> 00:03:06,156 - Yeah! - In a suit of armour. 44 00:03:06,181 --> 00:03:08,436 Well, it's not about me, Greg. 45 00:03:08,461 --> 00:03:11,261 It's all about those poor Spanish donkeys. 46 00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:14,746 The link to the charity website didn't work, so here's 200 cash. 47 00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:16,429 Lovely. Much appreciated. 48 00:03:18,005 --> 00:03:19,405 [CHEERING] 49 00:03:23,098 --> 00:03:25,105 Mr. Marathon! 50 00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:26,796 Here he is, Mr. Mo Farah. 51 00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:29,509 It's not about me, Caz. It's about the orphanage. 52 00:03:29,534 --> 00:03:34,150 - Thought it was donkeys. - Yeah, it's actually a donkey orphanage. 53 00:03:34,175 --> 00:03:36,245 Those poor little donkeys without a mummy and daddy. 54 00:03:36,270 --> 00:03:39,244 It breaks my heart, Greg. I felt I had to do something. 55 00:03:39,269 --> 00:03:42,165 Hmm. It's very sad. When is it you're swimming the channel? 56 00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:45,540 Just waiting for the goose fat. I'll let you know. 57 00:03:45,565 --> 00:03:46,579 Well done, man. 58 00:03:46,604 --> 00:03:47,604 Amaze-balls. 59 00:03:47,612 --> 00:03:49,945 - Can I have a quick word? - Sure. 60 00:03:49,987 --> 00:03:52,274 - Congratulations! - Cheers Carol. 61 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,009 Amazing. Well done. 62 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,946 Thank you. 63 00:03:55,971 --> 00:03:58,681 I don't suppose you'd care to make a donation, would you Caz? 64 00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:02,329 To buy wheelchairs for the sick baby donkey orphans? 65 00:04:02,354 --> 00:04:05,897 The link to the website was down, so I thought I would give you... 66 00:04:07,018 --> 00:04:08,018 Oh. Charming. 67 00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:14,185 Well... I can't believe it. 68 00:04:15,308 --> 00:04:17,064 Well, you'll never guess who's in town. 69 00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:18,183 - Brian? - Howell? 70 00:04:18,207 --> 00:04:20,088 No! The circus! 71 00:04:20,113 --> 00:04:23,129 Circus? That's brilliant. It's got performing animals. 72 00:04:23,154 --> 00:04:25,715 Kept in cages. It's so cruel! 73 00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:27,497 It's got an orc that does tricks. 74 00:04:27,522 --> 00:04:30,023 - Yeah, and you know what I call that? - Fun for all the family? 75 00:04:30,048 --> 00:04:31,601 Exploitation. 76 00:04:31,626 --> 00:04:33,538 We should do something about it. 77 00:04:33,552 --> 00:04:35,644 Too right. We should organise a protest. 78 00:04:35,669 --> 00:04:37,691 - Let's do it together. - Absolutely. 79 00:04:37,716 --> 00:04:39,519 Side by side. 80 00:04:39,544 --> 00:04:41,066 Only with me in a... 81 00:04:41,091 --> 00:04:43,024 slightly more executive role. 82 00:04:43,054 --> 00:04:44,483 Agh! Got it! 83 00:04:45,929 --> 00:04:47,325 Finally. 84 00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:48,950 All my metal-ware's safe. 85 00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,678 How to kill these things? 86 00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:53,295 What? You can't kill it! 87 00:04:53,304 --> 00:04:55,246 I'll release it into the wild. 88 00:04:55,255 --> 00:04:56,721 It's much more humane. 89 00:04:58,075 --> 00:05:00,207 Crunt. There's 2 of them. 90 00:05:01,346 --> 00:05:03,096 [METALLIC SAWING SOUND] 91 00:05:05,034 --> 00:05:05,837 [GLASS BALL SMASHES] 92 00:05:05,862 --> 00:05:06,995 Oh, double-crunt! 93 00:05:09,345 --> 00:05:12,398 Come on, lovely. We've got a show to do tonight. 94 00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:14,101 Last one of the tour. 95 00:05:14,126 --> 00:05:15,383 - Is it? - No. 96 00:05:17,714 --> 00:05:18,714 Are you tired? 97 00:05:19,417 --> 00:05:22,164 Would you like a night off? Nice comfy bed? 98 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,349 Yeah, I'd like that. 99 00:05:23,383 --> 00:05:26,983 And I'd love to give it to you, Brian, I really would, but, you see, I can't because 100 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,249 you're nothing. 101 00:05:28,274 --> 00:05:31,561 You're less than scum, so you see, I've got to make you carry on. 102 00:05:31,586 --> 00:05:34,030 You see the difficult position you've put me in? 103 00:05:34,055 --> 00:05:35,346 But you said you'd let me go. 104 00:05:35,362 --> 00:05:39,259 I know I did Brian, but I was lying! 105 00:05:39,284 --> 00:05:41,784 That's what makes it all so difficult for me. 106 00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:44,212 But we've just got to make the best of it, haven't we? 107 00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:46,148 Yes, please. Thank you. 108 00:05:46,173 --> 00:05:47,373 Do you need a hug? 109 00:05:48,577 --> 00:05:51,921 I can't touch you though, Brian, because you're almost certainly riddled with lice, 110 00:05:51,946 --> 00:05:54,121 but what I can do is give you a little treat. 111 00:05:54,929 --> 00:05:55,929 Double slops. 112 00:05:59,997 --> 00:06:01,863 It's not as bad as it looks. 113 00:06:02,614 --> 00:06:04,014 That was another lie. 114 00:06:05,601 --> 00:06:07,718 So, I've been looking at the purchase ledger, 115 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:10,562 and someone signed off on this, but I don't recognise the signature. 116 00:06:10,594 --> 00:06:14,861 They've ordered a 2nd-hand microwave, an oscillating desk fan, 117 00:06:14,891 --> 00:06:18,758 17 car batteries. and a drum of industrial copper cabling. 118 00:06:19,859 --> 00:06:21,147 Could it be IT? 119 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,195 What? No, look, here's another one. 120 00:06:23,219 --> 00:06:27,281 6 boxes of wine - Australian red - and 24 packets of cereal. 121 00:06:29,051 --> 00:06:30,651 Could it be... catering? 122 00:06:30,668 --> 00:06:32,933 And the key to the store room's gone missing. 123 00:06:32,942 --> 00:06:35,519 Oh. Leave it with me. 124 00:06:37,406 --> 00:06:40,889 So, shall I come over tonight? Say, 7 o'clock? 125 00:06:40,914 --> 00:06:42,714 I can say I'm working late. 126 00:06:43,805 --> 00:06:44,805 We'll see. 127 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,080 Free drink to anyone who gets the moth. 128 00:06:58,729 --> 00:07:00,157 Behind you! 129 00:07:00,182 --> 00:07:01,477 Got it! 130 00:07:03,768 --> 00:07:04,768 What? 131 00:07:05,807 --> 00:07:06,993 Isn't that... 132 00:07:07,018 --> 00:07:08,018 a fairy? 133 00:07:08,049 --> 00:07:09,127 Oh... crunt. 134 00:07:10,112 --> 00:07:12,074 - What should I do? Should I let it out? - No no no, it's angry. 135 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,499 Wail 'til it's calmed down. 136 00:07:14,724 --> 00:07:16,258 I'll just put it there. 137 00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:19,845 How long should I leave it, guys? 138 00:07:21,463 --> 00:07:22,730 Guys? [DOOR SLAMS] 139 00:07:24,674 --> 00:07:26,860 So, I'm sure you know why we've called you in. 140 00:07:26,885 --> 00:07:31,273 Yeah. Can I just say that I would never, ever, under any circumstances, 141 00:07:31,298 --> 00:07:33,234 defecate into a pot plant. 142 00:07:33,259 --> 00:07:34,570 It's not... 143 00:07:34,595 --> 00:07:36,482 - Sorry, what was that? - Nothing. 144 00:07:36,507 --> 00:07:37,724 Right. Erm... 145 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:42,248 Well, we know how committed you are. Caz says you're always first in, last out. 146 00:07:42,273 --> 00:07:45,623 - Well... - A valued member of the darts team. 147 00:07:45,648 --> 00:07:48,511 Yeah. But, there have been some issues. 148 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:52,664 Erm, your IT skills, your accountancy skills, and... 149 00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:56,320 of course all the negative publicity following the whole Stone Henge incident. 150 00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,024 I did give that stone back. 151 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:02,141 So, Greg and I have come to a very difficult decision. 152 00:08:03,259 --> 00:08:06,526 And I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. 153 00:08:08,144 --> 00:08:10,544 Can I just ask one question, please? 154 00:08:10,566 --> 00:08:15,191 What is company policy regarding having extra-marital relations with your... 155 00:08:15,199 --> 00:08:16,399 line manager? 156 00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:22,822 Actually, I was thinking we could give you one last chance. 157 00:08:22,847 --> 00:08:24,136 Great! [THUMPS TABLE] 158 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:26,234 See you down the pub! [LAUGHS] 159 00:08:29,144 --> 00:08:31,471 The show is starting... 160 00:08:31,496 --> 00:08:34,029 and there are still tickets available. 161 00:08:49,145 --> 00:08:50,145 Not again! 162 00:08:51,044 --> 00:08:52,506 Come on, Barbara. 163 00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:54,670 Well how come I have to make the placards? 164 00:08:54,695 --> 00:08:57,983 Because I'm the advance party scoping out the best place for us to demonstrate. 165 00:08:58,008 --> 00:08:59,008 and? 166 00:09:01,016 --> 00:09:04,155 - Here's fine. - I've never done a protest before! 167 00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:05,913 Look... 168 00:09:05,938 --> 00:09:06,938 and learn. 169 00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:10,592 Cheap tickets mean low standards of welfare. 170 00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,361 Cheap tickets? Sounds great! 171 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,971 They have a captive orc. 172 00:09:13,979 --> 00:09:16,110 - Captive orc? - We love orcs. 173 00:09:16,135 --> 00:09:21,080 And, there is a degrading exotic dance act. They get pelted with rotten fruit. 174 00:09:23,464 --> 00:09:24,664 [SIGHS] 175 00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:27,667 These placards, Barbara. Your wording's all wrong. 176 00:09:27,691 --> 00:09:30,627 Herman! What are you doing here? 177 00:09:30,652 --> 00:09:32,328 - Nothing. - Is that rotten fruit? 178 00:09:32,336 --> 00:09:34,117 What? As if. 179 00:09:35,453 --> 00:09:37,014 FEFFENHOFFER: That's it, sold out. 180 00:09:37,039 --> 00:09:38,374 Oh. 181 00:09:38,399 --> 00:09:39,999 Well that's embarrassing. 182 00:09:43,245 --> 00:09:44,445 [SIGHS] 183 00:09:44,456 --> 00:09:45,923 [CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING] 184 00:09:49,151 --> 00:09:55,435 Welcome to Feffenhoffer's Magical Travelling Amazementarium. 185 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:59,297 of wondrous curiosiations. 186 00:10:05,974 --> 00:10:09,644 And we start with our daredevil orc, 187 00:10:09,669 --> 00:10:13,714 who will dive from an impossible height into water. 188 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:16,542 and emerge completely unscathed. 189 00:10:16,567 --> 00:10:18,660 [APPLAUSE] 190 00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:27,652 [DRUM ROLL] 191 00:10:29,936 --> 00:10:32,264 [AUDIENCE GASPS] 192 00:10:35,152 --> 00:10:36,652 [CRASH, SPLASH] 193 00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:37,734 [AUDIENCE GASPS] 194 00:10:38,152 --> 00:10:39,783 [WEAKLY] Ta-da! 195 00:10:39,808 --> 00:10:41,342 Completely unscathed... 196 00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:47,824 And now, an act which is the talk of the Western Marches. 197 00:10:48,130 --> 00:10:51,684 Mr. Fluffy, our musical throth. 198 00:10:51,709 --> 00:10:53,842 [AUDIENCE CHEERS] 199 00:10:56,749 --> 00:10:59,349 [PLAYS MUSIC ON GLOCKENSPIEL AND DRUMS] 200 00:11:10,663 --> 00:11:12,655 [AUDIENCE CHEERS] 201 00:11:15,678 --> 00:11:17,756 And now, a man... 202 00:11:19,077 --> 00:11:20,543 from another world, 203 00:11:22,486 --> 00:11:24,019 and, his exotic dances. 204 00:11:29,049 --> 00:11:31,281 It was 2015. 205 00:11:31,306 --> 00:11:34,723 I'd reached the final of Strictly Come Dancing, 206 00:11:34,748 --> 00:11:38,364 the world's greatest dance competition. 207 00:11:38,389 --> 00:11:40,254 My partner, 208 00:11:40,279 --> 00:11:41,754 Orla and I, 209 00:11:41,779 --> 00:11:42,779 started... 210 00:11:44,357 --> 00:11:45,357 with a rumba. 211 00:11:48,043 --> 00:11:49,941 [CROWD JEERS] 212 00:11:51,261 --> 00:11:55,129 Come on, Orla. We have to at least get a 7 from Craig Revel Horwood. 213 00:11:55,145 --> 00:11:56,121 [AUDIENCE BOOS] 214 00:11:56,145 --> 00:12:01,723 or we'll end up in the dance-off against Dave, from The Hairy Bikers. 215 00:12:06,002 --> 00:12:07,002 Brian? 216 00:12:08,174 --> 00:12:09,174 Herman! 217 00:12:10,815 --> 00:12:12,861 Herman! You've got to get me out of here! 218 00:12:12,869 --> 00:12:16,719 I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen. We appear to be experiencing some technical issues. 219 00:12:16,744 --> 00:12:19,001 Herman! Tell the others! Send help! 220 00:12:19,026 --> 00:12:22,017 - There'll now be a short intermission. - I thought that was quite good. 221 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,200 Ban the circus. 222 00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:27,925 Big rally tomorrow. 223 00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:31,215 Speech by me, Steg Stegson, campaign leader. 224 00:12:31,239 --> 00:12:32,387 Hey! I just saw Brian. 225 00:12:32,412 --> 00:12:33,644 - What? - Who? 226 00:12:33,646 --> 00:12:36,161 Yeah. He was one of the acts. His face was all orange. 227 00:12:36,193 --> 00:12:38,964 [GASPS] That's just like I saw in the crystal ball! 228 00:12:38,989 --> 00:12:42,335 He started shouting "Please help me!", then got dragged off stage. 229 00:12:42,343 --> 00:12:43,543 Very modern. 230 00:12:44,101 --> 00:12:46,865 - Not really my cup of tea, though. - What are we going to do? 231 00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:49,861 Well, we need to finish leafleting the square, then I'm going to lie down for a bit. 232 00:12:49,886 --> 00:12:53,322 About Brian! We've got to free him. 233 00:12:53,347 --> 00:12:55,693 We have to free all oppressed workers, Barbara. 234 00:12:55,718 --> 00:12:58,185 Now, I'm happy to set up a working party... 235 00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:00,877 I am rescuing Brian. Are you helping me? 236 00:13:01,896 --> 00:13:03,527 - Hmm? - Yes. 237 00:13:03,552 --> 00:13:05,106 Great plan, guys. 238 00:13:05,131 --> 00:13:08,747 Maybe I should go and check on the... the old you-know-what. 239 00:13:08,763 --> 00:13:11,020 He will have calmed down by now, wouldn't he? 240 00:13:11,045 --> 00:13:12,005 BOTH: Yeah... 241 00:13:20,405 --> 00:13:22,404 Ohhh... Brian. 242 00:13:23,288 --> 00:13:25,821 What have you got to say for yourself? 243 00:13:26,853 --> 00:13:28,556 Have I put you in a difficult position? 244 00:13:28,572 --> 00:13:31,324 You have, Brian. You have! 245 00:13:31,349 --> 00:13:33,400 What does it say in your contract? Clause 38. 246 00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:37,946 38... At no point during any performance or part thereof, 247 00:13:37,971 --> 00:13:43,831 shall the aforementioned performer make such remarks as can be construed as 248 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:49,739 making contact with the audience for the purpose of securing their release. 249 00:13:50,498 --> 00:13:52,418 Or.... 250 00:13:52,443 --> 00:13:53,950 Or you can hit me with a stick. 251 00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:57,457 Exactly Brian. That's why we have this contract. It's to protect you. 252 00:13:57,482 --> 00:14:00,942 Now we have an extra show tomorrow. It's a new double-act. 253 00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:03,912 It's you, and... Molly. 254 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,731 Molly, the sabre-toothed bear? 255 00:14:08,756 --> 00:14:09,922 That's right, Brian. Yes. 256 00:14:09,946 --> 00:14:13,311 And, err... what will I be doing, exactly? 257 00:14:13,336 --> 00:14:18,422 A few seconds of running around, screaming, and that pretty much takes you to the end, 258 00:14:20,787 --> 00:14:21,787 Oh! The stick. 259 00:14:24,584 --> 00:14:28,739 ? Hands... ? 260 00:14:28,764 --> 00:14:31,801 ? Touching hands ? 261 00:14:31,826 --> 00:14:35,035 ? Reaching out ? 262 00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:38,181 ? Touching me ? 263 00:14:38,206 --> 00:14:41,292 ? Touching you ? 264 00:14:41,324 --> 00:14:43,002 Altogether now! 265 00:14:43,027 --> 00:14:46,105 ? Sweet Caroline ? 266 00:14:48,183 --> 00:14:52,008 ? Good times never seemed so good ? 267 00:14:54,630 --> 00:14:57,538 ? I'd be inclined ? 268 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,421 ? Da da da ? 269 00:14:59,446 --> 00:15:02,305 ? To believe they never would ? 270 00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:05,688 [AUDIENCE CHEERS] 271 00:15:06,496 --> 00:15:07,696 [WINDOW OPENS] 272 00:15:11,762 --> 00:15:12,962 [CLOSES WINDOW] 273 00:15:27,241 --> 00:15:29,107 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 274 00:16:08,824 --> 00:16:12,535 Right. You distract the Ring Master, and I'll go round the back and release everyone. 275 00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:13,617 Hang on Barbara. 276 00:16:14,498 --> 00:16:17,646 All decisions need to go through the Chair. 277 00:16:17,671 --> 00:16:19,098 Right. 278 00:16:19,123 --> 00:16:21,943 I'll distract the Ring Master, and you go round the back and free everyone. 279 00:16:21,966 --> 00:16:22,766 Seconded? 280 00:16:23,028 --> 00:16:24,028 Seconded? 281 00:16:25,247 --> 00:16:27,686 Right. You keep him talking. I won't be more than an hour. 282 00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:28,710 An hour?! 283 00:16:30,272 --> 00:16:31,272 Ohhh... 284 00:16:35,666 --> 00:16:38,000 Hi. Steg Stegson, Community Leader. 285 00:16:38,869 --> 00:16:41,003 Mr. FEFFENHOFFER. Circus Master. 286 00:16:42,221 --> 00:16:44,947 Running a circus? Gah, that must be pretty interesting. 287 00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,327 It is. 288 00:16:46,352 --> 00:16:47,552 Tell me everything! 289 00:16:58,242 --> 00:16:59,242 Brian? 290 00:17:00,383 --> 00:17:02,233 - Brian! - Barbara! 291 00:17:02,258 --> 00:17:03,258 Oh, Brian! 292 00:17:04,844 --> 00:17:06,741 I can't believe it. 293 00:17:06,766 --> 00:17:10,604 I thought about you every day, for 3 months. 294 00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,095 Yeah, ditto. 295 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,854 Oh, what happened to your trousers? 296 00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:18,978 Doesn't matter. Listen, Barbara, I really need to get out of here, okay? 297 00:17:19,003 --> 00:17:21,128 There is a spare key in the wagon. 298 00:17:21,144 --> 00:17:23,477 We don't need a key. I've got this. 299 00:17:26,308 --> 00:17:28,150 - What is it? - A metal moth. 300 00:17:28,175 --> 00:17:30,955 It can eat through metal. It'll go through the bars in no time. 301 00:17:30,972 --> 00:17:32,963 Amazing! Thanks, Barbara! 302 00:17:34,366 --> 00:17:36,899 Let's get you out of here. Stand back. 303 00:17:40,964 --> 00:17:43,161 [MOTH EATS BARS OF OTHER CAGE] 304 00:17:43,186 --> 00:17:47,216 ORC: I'm free! I'm off to join the circus! 305 00:17:47,951 --> 00:17:49,085 Another circus... 306 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,036 The moth'll be back in a minute. 307 00:17:58,177 --> 00:18:00,582 - So how have you been? - Busy, yeah. 308 00:18:00,598 --> 00:18:05,143 Yeah, got captured, escaped, ran through a forest 'til I couldn't run anymore, 309 00:18:05,159 --> 00:18:06,471 then I ran some more, 310 00:18:06,495 --> 00:18:09,697 then this guy caught me, chucked me in a circus, and it's not coming back, is it? 311 00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:12,313 No... Where's that spare key? 312 00:18:12,338 --> 00:18:14,126 - In the wagon. - Okay. 313 00:18:15,488 --> 00:18:18,339 Oh... beard suits you, by the way. 314 00:18:22,688 --> 00:18:26,483 So, Mr. Stegson, or Steg if that's not too familiar. 315 00:18:26,508 --> 00:18:31,430 It's a very exciting life. No two days the same, lots of travel, tight-knit team, 316 00:18:31,446 --> 00:18:34,912 and of course the perks and the money are fantastic. 317 00:18:34,934 --> 00:18:37,315 Aw... and you think I'd make a good act? 318 00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:39,301 Absolutely! Naturally good-looking... 319 00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:40,325 Naturally good-looking. 320 00:18:40,965 --> 00:18:42,456 - Funny, - I am funny... 321 00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:44,276 I'm seeing a headline act. 322 00:18:47,369 --> 00:18:49,064 But aren't all your acts kept in cages? 323 00:18:49,089 --> 00:18:52,705 - Of course they are! To protect them. - Aw... 324 00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:57,003 ...from the fans. Some of the women in the crowd get very carried away. 325 00:18:57,027 --> 00:18:58,327 Carried away... 326 00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:04,126 - And I'd be one of the main attractions? - Top of the bill! 327 00:19:04,051 --> 00:19:06,166 Now, just so we're both happy, what I suggest is that 328 00:19:06,191 --> 00:19:10,696 you sign this legally-binding framework, just so that you are protected. 329 00:19:10,721 --> 00:19:13,088 Just out of interest, how long have we been talking for? 330 00:19:13,096 --> 00:19:14,896 - About 4 minutes. - Futt! 331 00:19:22,651 --> 00:19:26,291 Star dressing room he said. I think there's been a mix-up. 332 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:29,811 I suppose he told you you can come and go as you please. 333 00:19:29,819 --> 00:19:33,193 - What happened to your trousers? - It doesn't matter, okay? Stop! 334 00:19:33,218 --> 00:19:35,005 Barbara's gone to get the key. She'll get us out. 335 00:19:35,030 --> 00:19:37,381 Thing is, he was right about my natural good looks. 336 00:19:38,499 --> 00:19:42,366 - Steg! Weren't you supposed to be... - Just undo the lock. 337 00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,370 - I can't get it. - There's a knack to it, okay? 338 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:51,528 You have to lift it up, pull it towards you, and give the keys a little jiggle. 339 00:19:51,553 --> 00:19:54,735 Wait. Nah nah nah, what you're doing is, you're pulling towards and then jiggling. 340 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,430 - You need to to jiggle it at the same... - What has happened to my hawk? 341 00:19:58,455 --> 00:19:59,655 Hide the key! 342 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,211 Who the crunt are you? 343 00:20:06,085 --> 00:20:07,452 [MUFFLED NOISES] 344 00:20:08,757 --> 00:20:09,957 What? 345 00:20:11,382 --> 00:20:13,396 I'm the Circus Inspector. 346 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,421 Oh! 347 00:20:17,851 --> 00:20:20,310 I hope you understand what a... 348 00:20:20,335 --> 00:20:23,002 difficult position you've all put me in. 349 00:20:27,583 --> 00:20:28,783 I will return. 350 00:20:30,567 --> 00:20:31,967 Okay Barbara. Now! 351 00:20:34,896 --> 00:20:38,114 The key! Come on! Let's go! Let's get out of here. 352 00:20:38,130 --> 00:20:40,396 There's a slight delay on the key. 353 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:43,807 Bright purple... 354 00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:46,870 That's not a good sign, is it? 355 00:20:51,175 --> 00:20:54,390 ? Who's a bad fairy, go to sleep ? 356 00:21:00,113 --> 00:21:04,417 I'd like to report a stolen credit card. Yeah, my name's Jess Evans. 357 00:21:04,433 --> 00:21:11,649 Yes, it's Jess Evans, security number 324, and that's 10 boxes of Shiraz. Thank you. 358 00:21:12,227 --> 00:21:15,507 Howell, this arrived for you. I think it's your goose fat. 359 00:21:15,532 --> 00:21:16,532 Finally! 360 00:21:20,754 --> 00:21:22,948 Is that to cheer up the donkeys? 361 00:21:22,973 --> 00:21:26,027 Oh, some weirdo is at reception asking for you. 362 00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:28,113 He owes me 5 grand! 363 00:21:29,381 --> 00:21:33,716 Can you tell him that I died last night, please? 364 00:21:33,741 --> 00:21:36,139 No, no. Tell him I died this morning. 365 00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:38,881 No, no... last night. Yeah. 366 00:21:39,864 --> 00:21:41,998 - Cheers Caz. - You're welcome. 367 00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:50,677 Maybe if someone had some prunes... 368 00:21:50,693 --> 00:21:52,972 You'd think this situation would speed up your metabolism. 369 00:21:52,997 --> 00:21:55,934 You've been here months. You must've tried something. 370 00:21:55,951 --> 00:21:58,106 - Of course I've tried. - Well, tried what? 371 00:21:58,131 --> 00:21:59,919 - I tried to dig a tunnel. - Let's see it. 372 00:22:01,201 --> 00:22:02,777 It doesn't matter. I didn't finish it. 373 00:22:02,802 --> 00:22:04,701 No, come on. It'll be better than nothing. 374 00:22:12,486 --> 00:22:15,946 - That's it, is it? - Well I only had a spoon! 375 00:22:15,971 --> 00:22:17,258 Hang on... 376 00:22:17,283 --> 00:22:19,557 I think I can get through these bars. 377 00:22:19,566 --> 00:22:21,003 You can't. I've tried. 378 00:22:21,011 --> 00:22:25,278 Brian, I'm a lot thinner than you, and my skin has natural oils. 379 00:22:26,519 --> 00:22:28,581 What about Howell? Did he ever turn up? 380 00:22:28,589 --> 00:22:30,722 No. No-one's seen him for months. 381 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,097 Who knows where he is? 382 00:22:33,122 --> 00:22:36,035 Probably off savouring the pleasures of another wondrous world. 383 00:22:36,041 --> 00:22:39,641 [PLAYING "NOWHERE TO RUN" BY MARTHA AND THE VANDELLAS] 384 00:22:50,431 --> 00:22:52,668 [ARGUING AMONGST EACH OTHER] 385 00:22:52,693 --> 00:22:53,993 That's him! 386 00:23:04,193 --> 00:23:06,126 You need to come out, Howell. 387 00:23:07,451 --> 00:23:11,646 If there's a problem, we can all sit down and talk about it with HR. 388 00:23:11,654 --> 00:23:13,616 He owes me 5 grand. 389 00:23:13,641 --> 00:23:15,039 You lent Howell 5 grand? 390 00:23:15,055 --> 00:23:16,531 He said he'd find my cat. 391 00:23:16,547 --> 00:23:19,328 He said to me, this was the leg bone of Pope Leo the 3rd. 392 00:23:21,649 --> 00:23:24,349 [RAMBLES] 393 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,866 What are you doing in there? 394 00:23:34,589 --> 00:23:35,789 Right, Howell, 395 00:23:36,425 --> 00:23:38,625 Stand back everybody. Stand back! 396 00:23:43,229 --> 00:23:46,163 If this doesn't work, I am completely... fu- 397 00:23:51,381 --> 00:23:52,381 -cked! 398 00:23:55,724 --> 00:23:57,658 I'm pretty pleased with that. 399 00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,739 I'm just keeping a lookout. 400 00:24:02,518 --> 00:24:04,440 I can pull my head in at any time. 401 00:24:05,338 --> 00:24:09,671 Now my lovelies, we have a sell-out show, and a very hungry bear. 402 00:24:10,329 --> 00:24:14,335 But, with half our acts having escaped, you've put me in rather a difficult position. 403 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:17,741 So, do you know what I'm going to do? 404 00:24:17,766 --> 00:24:18,983 Cancel the show? 405 00:24:19,008 --> 00:24:21,787 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, etc.. 406 00:24:21,812 --> 00:24:25,779 No. I am going to let all 3 of you play with the bear. 407 00:24:25,804 --> 00:24:31,348 So if you'd like to take these steaks, and strap them to each of your heads. 408 00:24:31,373 --> 00:24:33,536 Give us one good reason why we should. 409 00:24:33,561 --> 00:24:34,561 This! 410 00:24:36,116 --> 00:24:37,583 That is a good reason. 411 00:24:38,288 --> 00:24:39,288 [LOUD SQUAWK] 412 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,267 All right, Trebor. 413 00:24:42,292 --> 00:24:44,364 You haven't seen any fairies outside, have you? 414 00:24:44,372 --> 00:24:45,980 [TREBOR SQUAWKS] 415 00:24:46,005 --> 00:24:48,309 Brian, Barbara, and Steg are all in the circus? 416 00:24:48,325 --> 00:24:50,261 [TREBOR SQUAWKS] 417 00:24:50,286 --> 00:24:51,669 And your son's learning trumpet? 418 00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:53,724 [TREBOR SQUAWKS] 419 00:24:53,749 --> 00:24:56,545 They're all going to fight a bear with steaks strapped to their heads? 420 00:24:56,570 --> 00:24:57,636 [TREBOR SQUAWKS] 421 00:24:58,343 --> 00:24:59,543 Hang on - wait! 422 00:25:02,723 --> 00:25:03,923 Greetings, Herman. 423 00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:07,925 Howell! My best customer! 424 00:25:07,950 --> 00:25:10,161 A Rhubarb Seizure, please, if I may. 425 00:25:10,186 --> 00:25:12,319 Actually Howell, I'm gonna need your help. 426 00:25:12,327 --> 00:25:14,663 Oh... I've just come straight from the office. 427 00:25:14,686 --> 00:25:16,052 The day I've had! 428 00:25:16,077 --> 00:25:18,973 All the others are going to be eaten. By a bear. 429 00:25:18,998 --> 00:25:20,235 Really? 430 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,647 Well if I've gotta fight a bear, you'd better make it a large one! 431 00:25:24,663 --> 00:25:26,201 [LAUGHS] 432 00:25:26,226 --> 00:25:29,632 Look... If you won't help them now, then you're barred. 433 00:25:29,657 --> 00:25:30,657 Sure, home. 434 00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:32,512 I've got a plan. 435 00:25:38,456 --> 00:25:39,756 I've got another plan. 436 00:25:41,308 --> 00:25:44,744 So what I'm proposing you to, Mr. Feffenfoffer, 437 00:25:44,769 --> 00:25:50,281 A fair exchange... 3 of your utterly worthless performers, 438 00:25:50,306 --> 00:25:55,065 for 3 rare and exotic items, 439 00:25:55,090 --> 00:25:56,957 from a distant world. 440 00:25:58,527 --> 00:25:59,722 This... 441 00:25:59,731 --> 00:26:01,252 city... 442 00:26:01,277 --> 00:26:02,854 frozen... 443 00:26:02,879 --> 00:26:04,425 in a glass orb. 444 00:26:07,221 --> 00:26:08,978 With floaty white bits. 445 00:26:09,003 --> 00:26:10,003 [LAUGHS] 446 00:26:11,696 --> 00:26:12,696 This... 447 00:26:12,721 --> 00:26:14,142 delicious... 448 00:26:14,167 --> 00:26:15,924 cream liqueur. 449 00:26:17,435 --> 00:26:21,800 And finally, this game-changing paper toner, 450 00:26:21,825 --> 00:26:25,958 with 25% off your next purchase at.. Wah.. Hah... Smiths. 451 00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:31,938 Thanks for coming to my rescue, guys. It really was a 1st class effort. 452 00:26:31,946 --> 00:26:35,212 - Something happen to your trousers? - Leave it! 453 00:26:36,069 --> 00:26:37,069 Futt! 454 00:26:37,803 --> 00:26:39,427 You wanna get some goose fat on that. 455 00:26:39,452 --> 00:26:40,852 Don't give up, Brian. 456 00:26:41,561 --> 00:26:42,894 There's always hope. 457 00:26:42,916 --> 00:26:46,352 It's showtime! 458 00:26:46,377 --> 00:26:47,511 And hope is gone. 459 00:26:48,612 --> 00:26:50,307 Excuse me, Mr. Fefffenhoffer? 460 00:26:50,315 --> 00:26:53,682 If you're spelling it F.E.F.F.E.N.H.O.F.F.E.R., yes? 461 00:26:53,706 --> 00:26:58,239 I just wondered if you'd be interested in a new act for your circus. 462 00:27:00,447 --> 00:27:03,618 What is it? Some sort of aired elementum? 463 00:27:03,643 --> 00:27:04,843 Have a look. 464 00:27:08,755 --> 00:27:10,555 Did you put me in that jar? 465 00:27:11,841 --> 00:27:13,041 Oh. 466 00:27:16,812 --> 00:27:20,345 ...seen it, a huge blast of powerful earth-magic, 467 00:27:20,370 --> 00:27:23,370 known... as electrisisisisis. 468 00:27:24,116 --> 00:27:26,180 and then... BOOM. 469 00:27:26,205 --> 00:27:27,805 I was back in the Henge. 470 00:27:30,517 --> 00:27:32,984 You sing along to music on a machine? 471 00:27:34,830 --> 00:27:36,125 Incredible. 472 00:27:36,150 --> 00:27:37,230 They have wine... 473 00:27:37,255 --> 00:27:38,255 in a box. 474 00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:40,461 How do they get the floaty white bits inside? 475 00:27:40,477 --> 00:27:42,006 Yeah, but... 476 00:27:42,031 --> 00:27:43,285 Jess and Greg? 477 00:27:44,762 --> 00:27:46,595 I just don't... get it. I mean... 478 00:27:47,543 --> 00:27:48,610 Greg?! 479 00:27:48,629 --> 00:27:51,698 I'm sorry, Brian. This must be hard for you. 480 00:27:51,723 --> 00:27:54,796 Here! This'll cheer you up, Brian. I got you some new earth-clothes. 481 00:27:54,821 --> 00:27:57,273 Oh, brilliant. I'm sick of this shirt. 482 00:27:57,298 --> 00:27:59,406 Eh-hey! Barely worn. 483 00:27:59,431 --> 00:28:01,070 [SNIFFS] Cor, dear... 484 00:28:01,095 --> 00:28:02,395 10 sovs, 485 00:28:03,220 --> 00:28:04,890 Good luck, mate. 486 00:28:04,915 --> 00:28:06,667 You finished with that? 487 00:28:06,692 --> 00:28:09,965 Well... now that I've got all my best customers back, 488 00:28:09,989 --> 00:28:11,926 I've got a feeling this pub's going places. 489 00:28:11,950 --> 00:28:13,629 Well, I'm certainly going nowhere. 490 00:28:13,645 --> 00:28:15,989 - You're a Muntian. - Muntonian. 491 00:28:16,005 --> 00:28:19,119 - A Muntyite. - A complete... Munt! 492 00:28:19,127 --> 00:28:21,194 [METAL MOTH BUZZES] 493 00:28:21,213 --> 00:28:23,013 [METAL MOTH EATS SOMETHING] 494 00:28:25,205 --> 00:28:26,738 Hmm... That's bad luck. 495 00:28:27,197 --> 00:28:28,764 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 496 00:28:31,791 --> 00:28:33,858 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES AND POPS] 497 00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:45,806 Howell... 498 00:28:46,803 --> 00:28:50,737 ["BAD MOON RISING" BY CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL PLAYING] 499 00:28:50,787 --> 00:28:55,337 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36509

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