All language subtitles for Why.Me.2020.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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[upbeat rock music]

♪ Woke up in the morning ♪

♪ With the same old
song, same old song ♪

♪ I'm losing my money ♪

♪ 'Cause I know I'm
not, know I'm not ♪

♪ But I don't really care ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm not here
and you're not there ♪

♪ And I can't really tell ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm outta
here, I'm outta here ♪

♪ And oh ♪

♪ I won't miss you ♪

♪ Everybody knows that I
can't take, I can't take ♪

♪ The pain that comes with
having love, having love ♪

♪ But I don't really care ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm not here
and you're not there ♪

♪ And I can't really tell
'cause I'm not here ♪

♪ I'm outta here ♪

♪ And oh ♪

♪ I won't miss you ♪

[water splashing]

♪ Maybe it was
because of the lies ♪

♪ Maybe it was because
I'm in disguise ♪

♪ Jesus, you're the one
who's always really here ♪

♪ But any really fail
when I can't ever hear ♪

[hairdryer whirring]

[door clicks]

- Good morning.

- Hey.

- There's my handsome Slater.

- Oh, Lana.

- You smell so good too.
[phone rings]

- It's organic tea tree extract.

- Oh, lovely.

Oh hey, Mom.

♪ Prove me wrong,
prove me wrong ♪

♪ But I don't really care ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm outta
sight, outta mind ♪

♪ And I don't really know ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm outta
here, I'm outta here ♪

♪ And oh ♪

♪ I won't miss you ♪

[door clicks]

[Slater yells]

[siren blares]

[classical string music]

[can pops]

[bells ringing]

[helicopter buzzes]

[phone rings]

- Hey, Dad.

Is everything okay?

So you're here right now?

Yeah, no, that's fine. [laughs]

Come on in.

Here.

[door slams]

So you're here?

Okay, okay.

Baby, baby, who is this?

- It's my mom!

- Forget your mother right now!

- What's going on?
- Baby, we gotta go!

We got a code red!

- Why?
- My dad is on his way!

You can't be here. Let's go.
- But I wanna meet your dad!

My phone!

My mom's gonna be so-

[elevator dings]

[classical string music]

- Don't make any noise!

Just shush, please!
[door slams]

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

[Slater groans]

[dishwasher clatters]

[Slater panting]

[Slater groans]

[Slater panting]

[Slater groans]
[hand knocks on door]

[door clicks]

Hey, Dad. [panting]

Come on in. [panting]

[door clicks]

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- You look sweaty.

- Oh, I just got out of the
shower, so it's just water.

- Well, you smell good.

- Yeah, it's organic
tea tree extract.

It's so nice of you to
stop by unannounced.

- You just don't look right.

- I just need, I
just need my coffee.

You know how I am in the
morning without my coffee.

Would you like some?

- Yeah, that'd be great.

- That sounds perfect, yes.

[cupboards clicking]

Oh no.

We're all out of our
organic Irish roast.

- Just come have a seat, son.

[Slater sighs]

Look, look.

Settle down.

I need your full and undivided
attention, all right?

- Dad, you always have my
full undivided attention.

[phone buzzes]
Come on.

- Yeah, I know, I know.

Hang on.

Okay, yeah.

Look, your mom and I are
extremely proud of you.

You know that.

You graduated.

You got your education.

Hey, you stayed away
from the crazy women

that I warned you about, right?

- Yes I did, yes.

- Good, good.

[fist thuds]

- So now...

What was that?

Is there someone here?

- No, that's the
neighbor's dryer.

I hear it all the time.

- Oh, okay.

Well, listen, it's time
for you to start thinking

about your future, steps
forward, getting a job,

and maybe coming and
working for me, huh?

Hey, listen, you can be
running the company someday.

- I've actually been hustling

and sending out my
resume everywhere,

and I finally got an
interview in California.

Silicon Valley!

- Okay.

- You should be proud.

- When?

- It's this Monday.

It's gonna revolutionize
organic beet farms

around the world.

- What?

- It's gonna revolutionize
organic beet farms

around the world.

- [sighs] Okay, just listen.

Your mom and I, we're gonna
go and see Uncle Shawn.

- Is everything okay?

- We don't know yet.

So, I'm gonna need
you to come in

and look after your
sisters and your brother

for a couple of weeks, okay?

- Dad, why me?

Can't you find somebody?

Why can't you hire somebody?

- Hire somebody?

- You have the money!

- I have the money.

You know why I have the money?

Because I just don't
give it away for free.

Hire somebody.

You know what?

Look around.

Look how you live.

This is the best
development in South Texas,

and you want me
to hire somebody?

You know what, buddy?

It would be something,
wouldn't it,

if all of a sudden this
just sort of went away, huh?

If this just sort of wasn't
your lifestyle anymore.

Oh, oh, and there's the matter

of that little tiny
itsy-bitsy trust fund, huh?

- Dad, I would, I would
love to be there on Monday,

and I will, okay?

I just gotta make some calls

and move some
things around, okay?

[pillow thuds]
- That's right.

Okay, what was that?

- That's the neighbor's
Irish setter,

and it's just so
loud and obnoxious!

[Dad stutters]
It just doesn't know-

- Son, son, geez, geez Louise.

- Did he just call me a dog?

Are you serious?

- Listen, you know, you really
should maybe see Dr. Figgis

about those anger
issues that you have.

I mean, my goodness.
- Yes, sir.

[phone buzzes]
Yes, sir.

- Hold on one second.

[Dad stutters]

What?

No!

Maternity leave?

Are you kidding me?

I gotta go.

Hold on.

Monday.
- Yes, sir.

- All right.

No!

No, absolutely not.

Not a chance.

No way.

No way, Jose.

[melancholy music]

[children murmuring]

- Guys, we are only gonna be
gone for a couple of weeks,

and we will be home
soon, I promise.

- Okay, but we do not
need a babysitter,

especially not if it's Slater.

He's a horrible babysitter.

- He sleeps with a
stuffed flamingo.

- Thank you.
- Hey, hey, guys,

can we get some
quiet in the morning?

You know I'm not
usually up till 12.

The chi in here is
all off, all right?

There's something in here-

- It's going to be okay.

[car horn honks]

Okay?

- Okay, okay, okay, car is here.

We need to go now.

- Okay.

- Bye, love you.
- Love you.

Love you.
[family chatting indistinctly]

[Slater sighs]

I gotta get back to that
football high school shape.

You know, the glory days.

- Wait a minute. I was the
one that was playing football.

You were the mascot.

- Yeah, but I was
still part of the team.

You can't take
that away from me.

I was key to some
of those victories.

I moralized the team,
moralized the crowd.

- Yeah.
- I got people moving.

- Yeah, you were
a great flamingo.

- You know, the girls
used to flock to me.

- Really?
- Girls love a man in pink.

That's how I got Lana.

- Speaking of Lana, don't
you have plans tonight?

- Well, I did, until
[growls] these kids.

- What is this, one of
your therapy sessions?

It's gains time.

Drop and give me 10.

Come on.

- I'm sorry.

You're right.

- Come on.

- Time to get serious. [grunts]

- Yeah, get it.

Oh, don't lock eyes with me
when you're doing pushups.

- I'm sorry.
- Come on.

Come on.

- I'm sorry, it helps me focus.

- You're doing
'em on your knees.

Come on.
[Slater grunts]

Oh yeah.

You're deep in there.

- I gotta get back

in flamingo shape.
- Mind-body connection.

- Yeah, baby.

I'm here.

They'll be back in one week.

Then we can do whatever we want.

They'll be back, okay?
[gunfire bangs]

Yeah, I promise.
[man yells]

- Transitioning!
- Warthog inbound.

- Yes, we can go
shopping, all right?

Hey!

- Hi, Lana!
- Hi, Lana!

[girls laughing]
- Reloading.

- Yeah, no, I know.

I know.
[gunfire bangs]

It's what I live with.

- Watch out.
- I got it.

[gunfire bangs]

Yeah, baby, hold on one second.

[gunfire bangs]

- [Man] Reloading.

- Hello?

- [Woman] I need to speak with
Mr. Slater McArthur, please.

- Yeah, it's him.

- [Anne] This is Anne with the
Texas State Highway Patrol.

I'm calling to report
a fatality accident.

- Wait, what?
[gunfire bangs]

- [Anne] Mr. McArthur,
you're listed

as the emergency contact

for both Edward and
Angela McArthur.

I'm sorry to tell you that
both Edward and Angela McArthur

were in a multiple-vehicle
accident on I-10 and-

- You can't be serious.

- [Anne] I'm so very sorry
to tell you that both Edward

and Angela McArthur
passed away at the scene.

[melancholy music]

[Slater sighs]

- When?

- [Anne] About two hours ago.

- I can only imagine.

Sorry for your loss, man.

- I appreciate it.

- No problem, no problem.

- Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

[footsteps crunching]

[Slater sighs]

I'm so sorry.

It's all right, Mom and Dad.

I'll take care of them.

April, May, and Archer

will be fine.

I just don't know how good
I'd be at running a business.

- Your dad thought
you'd be great.

You can do this.

- You're a terrible
cook, Slater.

[pancake plops]
- We do not want your food.

- Listen, guys.

Like it or not, with
Mom and Dad gone,

[children coughing]

I'm your legal
guardian, all right?

And in this house, there
are gonna be rules.

Rule number one, you eat
what I tell you to eat.

You got that?

Hey, baby.

Yes, I'm on my way.

No, nothing will come
up, I promise, all right?

I know how important
quality time is.

Hold on, I'm getting
another call.

Okay, okay. [laughs]

Hello?

- Mr. McArthur?

- Yes, this is him.

- This is Principal Branson.

I really need you to
come in for a meeting

to discuss your siblings today.

- Mm-hmm.

Right.

Okay.

[upbeat music]

[Slater laughs]

Hey, beautiful. [laughs]

- Well, I know
it's been difficult

with the situation
and everything,

but I really am concerned
about them even making it

out of high school.

The situation is
getting to the point

I'm going to have to
contact social services.

- Social services?

That would tear
this family apart.

You can't do that.

I'm all they have left.

Please.

- Well, would you
like some advice?

- Sure.

- I think you should
hire a live-in nanny.

- A nanny, huh?

[bright music]

Lafonda.

Okay.

[keyboard clacking]
Starting immediately.

[gunfire bangs]

- [April] H4.

- [May] Miss.

[gunfire bangs]

- H5.

[doorbell rings]

- [Man] Friendly
orbital VSAT online.

[gunfire bangs]

- [Announcer] Friendly
Warthog inbound.

[indistinct radio chatter]

[door clicks]

- Yes?

- Hello.

I have an interview today
with Slater McArthur.

- Who are you?

- My name is Lafonda.

I have an interview
with Slater McArthur.

- Kids, bring me a kombucha.

[gunfire bangs]

- [Man] Check your timeline.

- Kids?

- [Man] UAV inbound.

- Kids?

[gunfire bangs]

- Yeah, nobody
here has that name.

- Oh, if-
[door clicks]

- Really? [sighs]

Oh, it must be the new nanny.

Would y'all back up?

Hi.

- [Lafonda] Hello.
- You must be here for Slater.

- [Lafonda] Yes.

- Yeah, he's running behind.

He's gonna be here in a moment,

so if you wanna
come in meanwhile.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, come on in.

- It was an honest mistake.

Such beautiful
children. [laughs]

- [Ray] Such beautiful children!

Lies.

- I thought she said Sleeter.

- [Slater] Sorry I'm late.

- It's okay.

- I had a hair emergency.

- Oh!

It looks nice.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, yes.

Reach for the stars.

- Thank you. [laughs]

So, Wanda?

- Lafonda Wanda.

- I haven't really done this
before, interviewing anyone.

I don't really know what to ask.

- Oh, okay.

You could ask me
about my experience.

- Yeah.

Perfect.

[cap pops]

[both laugh]

So what is your
experience with children?

- Oh, I've worked with
children for many years.

I've been a live-in nanny
for a lot of families.

- And I couldn't help but notice

the British accent.

Where are you from exactly?

- Oh, I am from Nigeria.

It's a country in Africa.

- Right, I knew that.

[pen scratching]

How do you spell that?

- Africa?

A-F-R-I-C-A.

Very good.

[both laugh]

[pen scratching]

[Slater laughs]

- I knew that. [laughs]

- Of course, of course.

- Just for research purposes.

- Absolutely.

- So you know, I like you.

I think the kids will like you.

I think you'll be a good fit.

- Thank you, thank you. [laughs]

- Thank you. [laughs]
- Yes, yes.

[African music]

- It smells wonderful.

- Oh, thank you, thank you.

Well, dig in.

- I don't see any spoons.

- God gave you your spoons.

These are the only
spoons you need.

- Okay.

- But make sure you
use the right hand.

Right is for fufu.

Left is for doo-doo.

[man singing in
foreign language]

- Wonderful, okay.

Let's eat, guys.

- Right hand.

[food squelches]

- You just soak it in
there, huh? [laughs]

Hey, hold up, hold up.

Did you wash your hands?

- Yeah.

[Archer sniffs]

[man singing in
foreign language]

[Lafonda laughs]

- [sighs] I'm so happy
that we finally got

some time to each other,

now that you got
a nanny and all.

- I know.

I told you things would
get better, right?

[African music]

- Are you sure about this?

- [May] Yeah, yeah, no,
it's fine. It's fine.

[food squelches]

- Ew!

[water splashes]

- [May] Gross!

- I got her shoes.
- Let's put the fufu on it.

- Yes!
- Yes!

- This is awesome. [laughs]

[water splashes]
Oh.

- Yes.

[toilet flushes]

Okay, let's go.

- You know what?

We should go to the
beach next week.

- That sounds fantastic.

- It does, doesn't it?

- Let me just call Ray and
make sure that he's free too.

- What?

Why does he have to be included?

- Because he's fun.

- I'm not fun to hang out with?

- Oh!

Oh, it's my fufu!

Oh, they soaked those...

The disrespect!

[gasps] Are those my shoes?

Oh, those children.

- You're very fun.

It's just more fun with Ray,

and I look tougher when
I walk around with him

'cause he's got big muscles.

- No, I disagree.

It's not happening.
[phone buzzes]

You better not answer that.

- It could be important.
- Stop it.

- We don't know.

- No, don't you dare.

Don't you dare.

- Hello?
[Lana sighs]

- Wow.

- No.

They did what?

All of it?
- What's going on?

- Okay, okay, okay,
I'll be right there.

- What's going on?

- I gotta go.

- What do you mean
you have to go?

- Take care of the bill, okay?

- No, I'm the lady!

That's so messed up!
- Baby, you got this.

You're the lady.

Baby, equality!

[tray crashes]
Ow!

This is your fault!

- Excuse me?

- You better help her!

- You're the one that's
running out on me like a jerk!

[Lana huffs]

- Those terrible children.

I cannot stay here.

Evil children.

[African music]

I know what you need.

I know exactly what you need.

Just cleanse this house!

Evil, evil children,
just cleanse it!

- [Slater] Wanda, Wanda!

Lafonda, please, there's
gotta be something we can do.

- It's Lafonda!

Evil, evil!

- [Slater] Please don't go!

We need you!

We need you!

Please!

Kids!

Kids!

April!

May!

Archer!

One day?

Not one day?

Things were supposed
to be different!

[Slater yells]

Evil!

[Slater yells]

[bright music]

- Yes!
[hands slap]

- Nice work, guys.

- And this isn't
where I left my hat.

You guys know no
one touches my hat!

Evil!

Can you believe this?

- Yeah.

I believe it.

- [laughs] You gotta do
something to help me, Doc.

I'm about to lose it, like
for real lose it this time.

- Just gotta relax,
Slater, okay?

They're more like
you than you realize.

- What?

I'm nothing like them.

- They are your family.

- [laughs] You're saying
that I'm arrogant?

Self-obsessed? [laughs]

Lazy?

Degenerate?

- No.

You do.

- Can't believe I
pay you for this.

- I'm an excellent cook, and
I give the best back massages.

I can demonstrate.

- No, I'm good.

I'd rather know how
you are with kids.

- I'm excellent with kids.

Kids love me, and I love them,

and I just felt I was
called to be your nanny.

- And also it's just your rates.

As a one-star nanny, it's a
little high in my opinion,

unless this was pesos,
of course. [laughs]

- For you, it could be.

- Well, you can't
beat that. [laughs]

I'm gonna hold you to that.

You're hired.
- Awesome.

You won't regret this.

- All right.
- Here, let me show you.

- Show me what?

- Let me show you.

I give the best back massages

in the world.
- Your hands are massive.

Wow, they're like bear's paws!

[Slater yelps]

How tall are you again?

- I'm six-one.

[Slater yelps]

[joints popping]
- Do you hear that?

My spine is cracking. [yelps]

- Let me get it.

[Slater yelps]

No, no, Carlos.

I can't go out with
you this weekend.

I already told you, I got a job,

and it's beautiful here.

Yes, me.

Carlos, stop asking me out.

It's completely awkward.

You're my cousin's
sister's best friend.

I know I'm beautiful.

Plus, my boss here, I think
he's giving me googly eyes.

I just need you to check
up on little Juanito

and Chacho for me, okay?

Thank you.

I could get used to this.

[door creaks]

[bright guitar and drum music]

- Nice.

[hands slap]

- Aw, you guys sound wonderful.

I got y'all a gift.

Here you go.

- Yay.

- Just to add a little
culture in your life.

What do you think?

[Mexican guitar music]

- What is it?

- It's a blanket.

My grandmother made it.

From the Holy
Mountain of Guadalupe.

- What's around your neck?

- It's a rosary.

It was my mother's.

It's my most prized possession.

- If it's hers, why
isn't she wearing it?

- Well, my mother's in heaven.

- So she's dead?

[nanny huffs]

[footsteps tapping]

[crickets chirping]

[door creaks]

[mischievous music]

[bell dings]

- Go, go, go, go.

[snack crunching]

[Slater grunts]

[nanny screaming]
[Slater yelps]

- I know you took it!

I know you took it!

Give me my rosary!

Give me my rosary!

- Hey, whoa!

- Give it to me!

- What'd you do?

- This little brat
stole my rosary.

- How do you know it was her?

- Look into her
beady little eyes.

She's a thief.

They all are.

- Listen, we're
gonna find it, okay?

And if we don't, I'll
buy you another one.

It's just a silly
little necklace.

I think I saw it
at Walmart once.

- Silly little necklace?

You think you saw it at Walmart?

My mom looked me right into
the eyes on her deathbed

and said, "Alicia
Venegas Robledo,

"guard this with your life.

"I love..."

And then she died.

- Listen, I didn't
know it was like that.

I promise you, we're
all gonna double up

and we're gonna
find it right now.

- It's too late.

They probably
already destroyed it.

- That's impossible,
I promise you.

- No.

We could have been
great together.

- Live-in nanny for hire.
[keyboard clacking]

[man yells]
[sword clangs]

- Whoa!
- Oh my God!

- Pack of pickled peppers.

Where's the pack of pickled...

[bright music]

[markers scratching]

- Thank you.

- Let me just show you
around, okay? [laughs]

[crickets chirping]

Archer, stop.

What are you doing?

Archer.

[Slater screams]

What are you doing in here?

- I want your children.

- No, you're crazy!

Get outta here!

I will never have
a child with you!

- Please?

- You're fired!

You're fired!

- Why am I fired?

- Because you're insane!

Go!

[nanny whines]

[bright music]

[lighter clicks]

[fire crackling]

- I smell cookies.

[nanny screams]

[hands slapping]

Oh Jesus!

Oh Lord!

They just set me on fire!

- [May] Hi there.

- Is Slater here?

- Slater, it's for you.

- That's it, I'm done. [laughs]

I've tried everything.

- Now you're just gonna give up?

- I don't see any other choice.

I can't beat the stress.

- Okay, what's
really going on here?

What's the matter?

- It's my sisters
and my brother.

They're just giving me
a hard time, you know?

They're chasing
away everybody I get

to help out with
the house, you know?

All these nannies, and
it's getting to the point,

if I don't find a good
one, that's it for me.

- What do you mean?

- I'm done.

- What do you mean you're done?

- I mean you might as well
just write up my will now.

- I can do that.

What do you want?

- Just leave everything I have
to global warming prevention

and wildlife preserves in
South Africa and South America

and wherever else flamingos
are indigenous to.

They're very important to me.

- Flamingos.

- Yeah.

Yes!

Woo! [laughs]

Five stars.

Ooh, I knew one of you
would reply finally.

Yes.

[nanny speaks in
foreign language]

Howdy.

- I'm Young Ah.

- Young Ah.

Truly,

you were the first five-star
nanny to reply to us,

and it's like my prayers
have been answered.

Thank you.

How do you say thank
you in your language?

[Young Ah speaks in
foreign language]

- What?
- I don't know.

It's just all a little much.

I don't think I'm ready still.

- Slater, all the board
of directors wants

is to meet the new
CEO, which is you.

- CEO, it sounds a lot like GMO.

I don't want anything

to do with that.
- No.

CEO, chief executive officer.

That's you.

- That's a lot of big words.

[utensils clattering]

It's really good.
- Good food.

- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you, guys.

- [May] Yeah.

[doorbell rings]

- I'll get it.
- Are you sure? Thank you.

[doorbell rings]

- [Young Ah] Hi, come on in.

- Oh, hey!

You must be the new nanny.
- [Young Ah] Nice meeting you.

- Nice meeting you too.

- Come on in.
- Okay.

All right.
[door clicks]

Brochacho!

- What's up, man?

- What's up, brother?

[both grunt]

- Dude, what's new?

- Dude, adulting.

That's pretty much
it, goals and gains.

Check 'em out.

You see that?

- Actually, those tris do
look bigger than last time.

- I've been juicing
for two weeks.

- Good, man.
- Oh yeah.

Cousin, Aisha.

- Oh yeah.

- Hi.
- Hi, I'm sleazy.

[children laugh]

- Slater.
- I'm Slooter, Slater.

- Slater. [laughs]
- Slater.

- I've actually heard
a lot about you.

- Hope they were good things.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

[children laugh]

- Shh.

- You're gonna sleep here?

- Mm-hmm.

- Come on in.

Your spot.

Your pillow, Korean pillow.

Your blanket.

Sleep good.

[Young Ah sings in
foreign language]

[phone chimes]

Wow.

Oh, wow.

[man speaking in
foreign language]

[audience laughs]

[snack crunches]

- This movie sucks.

You can't even
read the subtitles.

They're too small.

[audience laughs]

- Is Young Ah ever coming back?

[Slater sniffs]

- I wish, but probably not.

[man singing in
foreign language]

Life never goes the
way you want it to.

I mean, look at Ms. Kim here.

All she wanted to do
was be with Mr. Park.

- Have a gluten-free
veggie straw.

[snack crunches]

[Slater sobs]

- Hey.

Oh, you're looking
at nannies, huh?

- Yeah, I'm just
trying to find one

they can't scare off so easily.

- Ooh, perfect.

- This Juliette K. looks good.

Her profile picture,

she's throwing a gang
sign it looks like.

- [laughs] You know what?

She could really
whip them into shape.

- Yeah, she looks tough.

- Mm, I like it.

- Says she's been
booked four times.

- We don't need a nanny.

- Dude, get outta here
and take that costume off.

You look stupid.

- I said we don't need a nanny.

- Hey, what are you
doing with that?

At this close range, do
you know what that can do?

Those things hurt, man.

Put it down.

Hey, what is this?

Put...

No.

- We're serious.

- Oh, you're serious. You
think you can come in here

and lay down the law
and strong-arm me?

[Slater and Lana
screaming indistinctly]

- Get the one he loves!

- No, please, no!

No, guys, no!

- Stop it, you monsters!

They're brats!
[Slater screaming]

[bright music]

[Aisha gasps]

[leash clatters]

[Slater yelps]

[Slater yells]

- I'm allergic!

Get it outta here!
- Come here! Come here!

Whoa.

I don't think it's that bad.
- Stay still.

- I'm highly allergic.

[Slater yells]
[children laughing]

- [April] Shh.

It's gonna be okay.

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

- Is that really necessary?

- Yes!
- Okay!

- Call 911!

- Okay, I don't have a phone!

- No, no, no!

Aisha, Aisha, I'm good.

This isn't the first time
April's got me. [yelps]

- [April] Shh, yeah.

- You really need help up?

- Yes, please.

[Slater groans]

- All right.

[grunts] Okay, you
gotta help a little.

[Slater yelps]

[Slater yelps]

Are you sure you're okay?

- [sighs] I don't know.

I'm in a lot of pain.

Kids!

They know I'm allergic.

They're animals.

- They're cute though.

- Are they? [panting]

I feel like I have a
fever. Can you check?

[Slater sighs]

- It doesn't feel
like you have a fever.

- It feels hot.

I feel like fire.

- I think you just
need a good cup of tea.

- I don't know.

I just drink coffee exclusively.

Black, organic.

I don't know.

I'll try it.

I don't know if we
have anything organic.

Maybe you can check for us?

- Yeah, yeah.

Sure, I can go look.

- Thank you.

Can you help me?

- [Aisha] Okay.
- My body is a temple,

and I can only put the
finest ingredients in here.

- Right.

Yeah, yeah, this is
definitely organic.

- Thank you.

[Slater yells]

- So hot!

- What, it's not that hot!

Okay, it's a little hot,

but it's gotta be hot, you know,

for the tannins to

move around your body.

- Well, I guess I
can respect that.

- Okay.

- [panting] Now my
tongue's on fire.

My leg's in pain.

My sinuses, my
allergies are just, ooh.

I'm imploding, and I
don't have any Mucinex D!

- I really think that you
just need to calm down.

You just need to relax.

Wow, you have a lot of
tension in your shoulders,

right here specifically, here.
[Slater groans]

[Slater yelps]

Hey, hold on!

- What is going on here?

- What are you doing here?

- You forgot?

You were supposed
to take me shopping.

- Well, there was a
dog, and my sinus-

- Who is this?

- I'm-

- This is the new nanny.

You know we've been
going through nannies

like toilet paper, okay?

So like I really had to buckle
down and find a good one.

- When did she start?

- Well, I-

- She started today.

That's why she's here, Lana.

- Hmm.

- I'm Aisha.

- Lana, his future wife.

- Nice to meet you.

- I'll be waiting
in the car for you.

[door slams]

- You do know I
need a job, right?

[Slater slurping]

- Shopping really does
take it out of me.

I am so tired.

- But I deserved it.

- At least I have my
organic energy drink.

It really helps me
get my chi in order.

- So, I have been
thinking we could get

married.

- [Archer] Your reign of
terror has come to an end.

- Fight for me.

[swords clashing]

- [Archer] My own sisters!

Betrayal!
[Lana laughs]

- Enough!

[electricity crackles]
[Archer grunts]

[Lana laughs]

It's done.

[electricity crackles]

It'd be so amazing
and beautiful,

and we could have our own
home with our own kids.

- Marriage, huh?

That's a big thing.

That's a big step and
transition into adulthood.

I-

- Sweetheart, my parents think
I'm getting a little old.

I mean, come on.

We would be amazing parents,

and you've seen my
parental skills.

They are on point. [laughs]

- I feel like I really
need to be there

for my brother and
my sisters right now.

- It's always been about them.

- Yeah, I need to
be there for them.

- Okay, but [sighs]

this is where we find a
solution to that problem.

I know you may be worried,

but we can send them
to boarding school.

- Lana, I don't know how a
school for surfing would help.

Wait, are you talking
about that thing

where we send 'em out to
another part of the world

all year round,

away from their home?
- No, no, no.

We see them during holidays,

and you know, they get
structure in their lives.

They need that.

- [Slater] I agree, but
that's not the answer.

That's not gonna happen.

They need to be here
with family, Lana.

- They can be a little
annoying, you know, Slater.

- They need to be here
with their family,

and I'm the only
one they have left,

and I'm going to be there.

That's out of the question.

- I'll let you think
about it, okay?

All right.

I'm gonna go now.

I'll see you later, okay?

[Lana screams]
[Lana thuds on floor]

- [Slater] Lana!

Hey!

- [Lana] See what I'm talking
about? This is ridiculous!

- [Slater] No, no, no, no, no.

- This is why I said boarding
school, and they deserve it.

- Lana, Lana, listen.

[Lana huffs]

Lana.

- You know what?

You need to get your
priorities straight. [huffs]

- Lana! [sighs]

[door slams]

- Actually.
- Lana, thank God.

- No, no.
[Slater stutters]

- Lana.
- I'm not talking to you.

This is not happening.

I forgot this.

That's all.

[bags crunching]

[door slams]

[phone rings]

- Hey.

No, the offer was legitimate.

Yeah, we would, we
would love to have you.

[bright music]

[zipper zips]

- What's up?

- So I actually have
plans for tonight.

I was wondering if you could

start watching the
kids immediately.

- Oh yeah, absolutely.

- And I don't know how
to say this exactly.

The kids, they
can be a little...

A handful.

- Okay.

- And I don't know
where they got it from,

but they're animals,

so just I'm looking out
for your safety here, okay?

So just be safe.

- Thanks.

It's probably nothing
I can't handle.

- Okay, I hope so.

I just, I can't afford
another lawsuit. [laughs]

Good luck.

Thank you, Aisha.

I appreciate it.

- Yeah, have a good night.

[upbeat music]

- Lana.

Lana, please, Lana, listen.

Listen, Lana.

Lana.

Lana.

Lana.

I'm sorry.

Lana, I'm sorry.

Listen, Lana.

How many times do I have
to say it? I'm sorry, Lana!

Please.

- Maybe until you
actually mean it,

and when you get
rid of those kids

and stop putting them before me.

- Well, unfortunately,
I'm all they got,

so I'm not going anywhere.

- Well, you know what?

They can go to boarding school.

- That's not gonna happen.

- Yes it is.

- No it's not.

[May yells]

[children laughing]

- Oh gosh.

Die!
[Archer yelling]

Die, molester!

Die!

- Okay, okay, okay,
guys, it's time for bed.

- We don't wanna go to bed.

- [May and April] Yeah,
we don't need a nanny.

- Okay.

Well, you got one,
so it's bedtime.

Come on, march.

[May and April sigh]

And you, you need
to brush your teeth.

[Aisha grunts]

Hey, let me see those teeth.

Hand me that toothbrush.

There is nothing
on this toothbrush.

Hand me that toothpaste.

- I don't want toothpaste.

- It's organic toothpaste.

[toothbrush brushing]

You are just like your brother.

- Can I brush your hair?

- Sure.

[mischievous music]

[toothpaste squelching]

[May laughing]

- [May] Ooh, busted.

[toothpaste squelching]
[Archer and May laugh]

[April spits]

[all laugh]

That's mine.
- Give me the banana, May.

- [May] No.

- May.
- Give me, give me that.

- I want the banana!

- It's already mine.

I claimed it.
- Hey, cool it

with the banana.

There you go.

Okay.

Pancakes.

Oh, hey, your shirt's
all messed up.

Let me fix that for you.
- No, it's fine.

He's my brother.
- I got this. I got this.

- You're not gonna
fix your shirt?

You are?

Oh, okay.

That's cool.

I bet all the girls at school
dig a sloppy dresser, right?

- [May] Can we eat now?

- Yeah.

Sure, here, let me
get you your pancake.

Yeah, those are good.

- What are you doing?

- I'm praying over our food.

- Why?

- Because that's
what Christians do.

- Weirdo.

[bright music]

- Yeah, get as high
as you can get it.

- [May] I'm not tall.

- Nice, that's good.

That's perfect.

Just hold it up
so it doesn't fall

by the time I get over here.
- I switched the spot.

Yep, it's folding.

- Is that the same height?

- Eh, maybe.

- Oh.

- Okay.

Nice.

[hands slap]
- Guys, this looks great.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, I thought so.

- Except, you know, I don't
think Slater would like this.

It's tacky being in the middle

and right in his face
when he walks in.

Wouldn't he want
to see, hmm, me?

- I'll put it over there.

He's the birthday boy.

We'll do one more.

- Thank you.

- Hi, Lana.

You look so pretty tonight.

I wanna be like
you when I grow up.

- Thank you, April.

You're so sweet.

- Your face is so symmetrical

and your nose is just
my favorite part.

- [laughs] You're adorable.

Well, looks like things
are coming together.

Slater's gonna love this.

And the fact that I made
it perfect. [laughs]

[doorbell rings]

[door clicks]

- Lana.

- Ray.

- I didn't know this
was a costume party.

- What do you mean by that?

- Nothing.

Guess we're all just
clowning around.

[door clicks]

- Slater has the
stupidest friends.

- Okay guys, shh, shh.

He's here.

He's here.

[door clicks]

[door clicks]

- Hello?

Anybody here on this day
of no particular event?

- [Group] Surprise!

[Slater yells]

- You guys got me!

I was so surprised!

- To my number one man.

Happy birthday.

- You don't want me getting
a big head or anything.

[April laughs]

- Oh.

[Ray laughs]

- Were you just waiting
to do that all day?

- Happy birthday, old man.

[Ray and Slater grunt]

- What's new?

- Hey man, gains.

That's it, brother.

- Gains, there we go.

Hey, baby?

What's...

- What?

What is that?

Ew.

[Lana huffs]

Oh my

God.

Anyways, I just want
to make a little toast

to my future husband

and birthday man.

- Guys?

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

[Archer blows kazoo]

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

[Archer blows kazoo]

- I'm looking at
the cake, not Aisha!

♪ Happy birthday dear Sleazer ♪

[Archer blows kazoo]

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ And many more ♪
[Archer blows kazoo]

- Happy birthday.

Make a wish for us.

[Slater inhales]

[egg crunches]

[batter splashes]

[egg sizzles]

[Slater singing]

- Oh, good morning.

- Morning, Aisha.

How are you doing?

- I'm great, how are you?

- You look really nice.

You going on a
date or something?

- It's Sunday.

I always go to church on Sunday.

You wanna come with me?

- To church. [laughs]

Not really my scene.

Me and the big man, we kinda
got something worked out.

- Gotcha, okay.

- Sure you don't wanna
stay for breakfast?

- Looks great, but I don't
wanna be late for church.

Have a good day.

- It's not like I
slaved all morning

for this or nothing, so...

- Uno.

- You're mean.
[Aisha laughs]

- [April] Can we
get a new nanny?

- Uno!

Wait, I didn't say uno.

[May and April laugh]

- At least nobody's
catching you.

- Whose turn is it?
- Aisha,

so what did you do
at church today?

- Well, we learned about Jesus.

- You really believe
in all that stuff?

- Yeah, I do.

Jesus is my savior.

- Such a intelligent, beautiful
woman such as yourself

really needs a savior?

- We all do.

- Well, not all intelligent,

beautiful people
such as myself do.

[April giggles]

Is that the time?

Lana's gonna kill me.

Okay guys, I will see you.

You're in good hands, okay?

- Slater.

Slater.

Slater!

Hello?

- Yeah baby, I'm here.

- Doesn't seem like it.

Where's your mind tonight?

- I'm fine, baby.

What is it?

- Well, as I was saying,

my parents think
I'm getting old,

and they wanna see grandkids.

Okay?

- This again.
- What do you think?

- Baby, I just, I told you I
just don't think I'm ready.

[Lana sighs]

[door clicks]

- Hey.

I'm glad you're home.

I fixed you a plate.

- I am not really hungry.

Lost my appetite.

- Oh, I'm sorry about that.

I also made some cheesecake.

I bet you have an
appetite for that.

- Grandkids.

- What?

- Nothing.

- Here.

It's gluten-free.

- No. [sighs]

- Slater!
[Slater yells]

What is going on here?

- Lana, what are you doing here?

- [sighs] You left
your phone, you jerk!

So I wanted to bring
it to you, but I guess,

you know, you're having
a lot of fun here.

- No, no, no.

- You know I don't
have AppleCare, Lana.

- I really do not care,

and I have had enough
of whatever this is.

So if you really love her
little homemade cheesecake,

then you can just have it!

[Aisha gasps]

Enjoy it!

[footsteps tapping]

- Lana!

[door slams]

I might be in trouble here.

Lana still hasn't
got back to me,

and she isn't answering
any of my calls.

- Maybe she's jealous.

- Jealous?

Why would she be jealous?

- About Aisha.

- Aisha? [laughs]

What about her?

She's just the nanny.

- Well, you've had
other nannies, Slater,

but you actually talk about
this one like she's special.

- Special.

[man speaking in
foreign language]

[ominous music]

[man speaking in
foreign language]

[Aisha laughs]

- Who are you?

- What was that?

[man and April
yelling indistinctly]

[April yelling]

- Oh no, what's going on?

And I heard no one
was supposed to home!

[man yells]

- Are you okay?

[April sobbing]

Are you okay?

Okay.

You're okay.

You're okay.

- [May] What's going on?

- Hey, hey, come here.

I need you to take
April into my room.

- No, don't leave.

- I'm gonna be right
there, I promise.

Take April into my
room and lock the door.

Don't open the door for
anybody but me, okay?

Go, go, run, now.

- [Slater] Hey guys,
what's going on?

- Oh, I'm so glad you're home.

- Excuse me,

why are you hugging my man?
- 12 times,

and you didn't
answer your phone.

- Get off of him.

- Kids, are you guys okay?

I'm sorry, guys.

That's terrible.

- You smell awful.

- Yeah, I had a few
cold ones, guys,

but don't let my good
night ruin your sadness.

- Okay, kids, y'all
need to stop judging

because that is an aroma
of a good time, okay?

- Lana.
- Okay.

- Seriously, how
did they come in?

- They broke in the
window in your room.

- In my room?
- Yeah.

- In my safe space.

- You're perfect.

- Lana?
[Lana sighs]

Hey.

- What?

- What's wrong with you?

They're scared.

Someone just broke in the house.

Don't you understand that?

- Why does everything have
to be about those kids?

I am sick and tired of them.

Everything should be
more about us, okay?

This never would've happened

if they had gone to
boarding school already!

- Boarding school?

Again?

- Do you think Slater could
actually send us away?

- No.

I really, really don't
think that that will happen.

- Why aren't you scared?

- Well, I was.

I was scared.

But then I remembered that
Jesus is taking care of us.

I mean, look at us.

We're all fine.

All we really have to do now
is just reinforce the windows.

- Who's Jesus?

- Here.

Let me read this.

I think this will actually
explain better than I can.

[gentle music]

For God so loved the world

that he gave his one
and only begotten Son,

that whoever believes in
him should not perish,

but have everlasting life.

And God's son is Jesus.

- Jesus died for people?

- Yeah, He did.

He died for you, and
He died for you, May,

and Archer, and me,
and Slater, even Lana.

And then He came back to life.

- I knew zombies were real.

- She's been pressuring me
to get married. [laughs]

I got a lot going on.

I don't know.

[sniffs] Why do I smell tamales?

[broom brushing]

[door clicks]

[footsteps tapping]

- Oh, wow, you
guys look so great.

What's the occasion?

- Oh, we're just celebrating.

- Great!

What are you celebrating?

- Slater, why
don't you tell her?

Tell her!

- [laughs] Lana and...

We've decided that I
am, I suppose, and...

- You're gonna suppose?

- Speak up.

Speak up!

- I'm going to propose to
my beautiful girlfriend

and make her my fiance and
live happily ever after.

[Lana giggles]

- Wow!
- Is that amazing?

- Congratulations!

That's fantastic.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

- We're so happy.

- Good.

- We really are.
- Me too.

Fabulous, well...

- Okay, well, bye.

- Okay.

Bye.

- I had such a great time
ring shopping with you today.

- Yeah, I thought it was
something the guy does

and he surprises the girl, but
I guess everyone's different.

- Well, you know, it has
to live up to my standards,

and the design
has to be perfect.

So, thank you for
understanding, honey.

- Yes, ma'am.
- So sweet of you.

[giggles] Well,

cheers.

[glasses clink]

I'm gonna make you so happy.

- I know you will.

[tense music]

- Mm.

Drink some more.

- Actually a little
tired, so I'm good.

- Oh?

Well, I have a surprise for you.

Close your eyes.

All right, open them.

Ta-da! [giggles]

- What's this?

- It's just the top 10 boarding
schools in North America.

The kids would be on the same
continent as us. [giggles]

- Boarding schools again, huh?

I thought-

- I'm thinking about
our future, Slater.

- I thought that
we'd been over this.

It's not gonna happen.

That's never going
to happen, Lana.

Please.

I think you should leave.

[Archer grunts]
[electricity crackles]

- [sighs] Good riddance.

- What have you done
to my little brother?

[Lana laughs]

The only good one
left in my family!

- He was a nuisance!

And he was mildly annoying.

- You're pure evil.

You must be stopped!
[Lana laughs]

I will stop you!

- You have never been
able to defeat me.

[electricity crackles]

- No, I'm a man!

- [Lana] You're whipped!

You're whipped!
[Slater yells]

- No, I'm in control!

I am-
[Lana laughs]

[Slater yells]

- But what about me?

[heroic music]
- Easily.

[Aisha grunts]

[Lana laughs]

[Aisha yells]

[Lana yells]

You'll kill me!

- Yes!

The evil has been defeated!

The galaxy is safe!

- Yes!

- And it's all thanks
to you and Jesus!

- I'm leaving because
I wanna leave, okay?

- Okay.

[footsteps tapping]

[tense music]

- [Lana] Slater, this is
still mine, and so is this.

[footsteps tapping]

- Teach me to do your
will, for you are my God.

Your spirit is good.

Lead me in the land of-

[phone rings]

Oh.

[laughs] Hello?

Hi, Barry.

Oh my gosh.

What's up?

Really?

Well, what are you doing here?

For me?

Wow, I...

Okay.

You know, I've been
praying for you.

Yeah.

Tonight?

Yeah, I would love to.

[Archer gags]

Hold on.

[hand slapping]
Hold on one second.

Here, I'm gonna
call you back, okay?

- I'm okay.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

- Are you really okay?

Oh, hey, Slater.

- Hey, what's up?

- I was wondering,

are you gonna be home kind
of early-ish tonight or...

- Actually, I do
think I do have plans.

- Okay, okay.

I have a friend in town, so...

- Okay, a friend, all right.

- Yeah.

I wanted you to meet him.

- Him.

Yeah, well, that sounds...

Yeah, sounds good.

- [Dr. Figgis]
What's wrong, Slater?

- She's out tonight with
some Missionary Barry.

- Does that bother you?

- Bother me?

No. [laughs]

Why would it bother me?

- Since we've been here,
all you've done is complain.

- I mean, how much do we really
know about Missionary Barry?

- Sounds like you
could be jealous.

- Jealous? [laughs]

Me?

No.

No.

- [Aisha] No way.

- I did.
[door clicks]

- You did?

Barry. [laughs]

You are still the same.

- [Barry] I really had
a great time tonight.

- [Aisha] Me too.

- I gotta be honest.

The last time I was out
in the mission field,

there were some really
dangerous times,

and I guess I just wanna say
it's been great being back.

- I'm really glad you're safe.

- I guess I'll talk to you soon.

- Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[door clicks]

Drive safe.
- Okay.

[door clicks]

[footsteps thud]

- Hello?

Is somebody there?

[sheepish music]

What are you doing in the dark?

- Hey.

Just getting a
gluten-free bagel.

What's with the third degree?

It's my house.

- Oh, yep.

Okay.

- You're the new CEO, Slater.

You gotta show your face.

- I mean, this is
my dad's company.

He earned it.

I didn't earn it.

I didn't-
- Listen, it doesn't matter.

You're the one in charge now.

Step up

and do your job.

[phone ringing]

- Yeah, I'll try to
make the next meeting.

- Great.

Great.

- [Latonia] But seek ye
first the kingdom of God

and His righteousness,
and all these things

shall be added to you.

Therefore, do not worry-

- Hey, Slater.

Sorry, Latonia.

Would you like to join us?

- What's this?

- We're having our Bible study.

- So that's what you
meant when you... [laughs]

No, thank you.

Looks like fun though.

You guys look like good people.

Wouldn't steal anything
from a family home.

Children who just lost
the parents, you know.

Just remember

whenever those carnal
instincts rise up, just,

what would Jesus do?

Right, have a good time, guys.

- Aisha, I thought you said
this was gonna be okay.

- It's fine, really.

He's just...

He gets...

He's quirky.

- Okay.

- Hope so.
- Alrighty, verse 34.

[bowling balls thud]

- [Aisha] Hey, how's Lana?

[bowling pins clatter]

- Well, she's all
right, I guess.

- You planning on
proposing anytime soon?

- I haven't even
met her parents.

- Oh.

- The whole thing is scary.

I don't know.

- Okay, well, I'll
be praying for you.

- Pray for me?

Why would you pray for me?

It's 'cause you're
a good person.

You know, Aisha, I
never thought about it.

You really do care
about other people.

You're gonna make some
guy really happy one day.

- [Aisha] Thank you.

- Sir, your order.

[Slater screams]

[Aisha laughs]

- [Slater] Thank you.

- That looks amazing.

- Would you like
some cotton candy?

- Yes, please.

- For the lady.

Hey, hey!

Kids, this is mine!

What?

[upbeat music]

- Hey, you gotta share, May.

[juice splashing]

- Aisha, would you like
some pineapple juice?

Maybe a little wine later?

Wine turns into-

- [Aisha] Wine?

[glass clatters]

[Slater laughs]

- Pineapple juice
is what I said.

- Oh.

[phone rings]

- How long have you been there?

- Hello?

Oh, hi, Barry.

Fine.

Yeah, yeah, I'm on
my way out right now.

Okay.

Okay, I'll see you in a bit.

Okay, bye.

- Where are you going?

- Church.

It's Sunday.

- You have to go every Sunday?

- Well, I don't have
to, but I want to.

Do you wanna come?

- Maybe next time.

- Okay.

- Hey, Aisha.

- [Aisha] Yeah.

- You look really nice.

- Thank you.

- Barry.

[sighs] Missionary Barry.

- Judge not, that
you be not judged,

for with what
judgment you judge-

[door clicks]
- Gosh.

So difficult.

- I'm fine, by the way.

- [Latonia] It will be
measured back to you.

- Aren't you worried
what they're wearing?

[scoffs] Okay, I've had enough.

She's taking over your house.

You need to fire her.

[Aisha sighs]

- Just...

- Fire her.

Fire Aisha.

[Slater stutters]

- No, no, no, no.

Stop it.
- Shh.

- Stop it.
- Shh.

Shh.
- No, this is embarrassing!

Quit it!

You know what, Slater?

It's either her or me, okay?

You can have your little
goody-goody church girl,

or your gorgeous, loving,
kind, and intelligent fiance.

Hmm?

- Maybe I choose her.

- Are you crazy?

[tense music]

- Maybe I am just a
little crazy. [laughs]

- What is wrong with you?

We are done!

We are over, Slater!

[Lana huffs]

- Please, Lana, don't go!

I'm so sad!

Please, I'm sorry!

Oh, what, you all enjoy
the show at my house?

Here, move over.

I probably need some of this.

Excuse me, sir, that's my seat.

Sir, I always sit there!

Thank you.

And my sugar-free bonbons there.

[Slater's head thuds]

[gentle chiming music]

[shades flutter]
[Slater hisses]

- Whew, you need to
change the air in here.

Good morning.

How are you feeling?

[Slater groans]

Yeah.

- Is Lana here?

- No, no.

She actually...

You probably wanna call her.

- Oh no.

Oh yeah, mm-mm.

Okay. [sighs]

- I went ahead and
I made you some tea.

- No thank you.

I think I'd be better
with some coffee, black.

Extra black, if you can.

- Yeah, tea's gonna be better.

[Slater sighs]

[Slater slurps]

- I was, I wanted to ask you.

I wanted to know if it was okay

if I invited a friend
over for dinner tonight.

- Barry.

- Guys?

Would you listen to that?

This house is so quiet
without the kids.

- I'm so happy.

One of their friends decided
to let them sleep over.

- Wow.

- I need to step in more often.

- Kids can be a handful.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, they

need prayer.

- We all do.

- So,

Barry, tell me about yourself.

- I'm just a missionary.

- You're just a
Missionary Barry.

- He's not just a missionary.

Barry, you're a
great missionary.

- Well, I've been in Indonesia
the past five years working

in a children's orphanage.

- Do they have social
media out there?

- Fresh farmer's markets or-

- Local coffee shops.

- Yes.
- Must.

That's a must.

- We don't really have those,

those kinds of
luxuries actually.

- So why do you do it?

- You know, honestly, when
you see what God is doing

in the hearts of those
children day in and day out,

there's really nothing
that's more rewarding.

[utensil clatters]

- Well, you know,

I've always wanted to
be a missionary myself.

It's just I haven't gotten
around to it because there's,

you know, I got, I
got things to do.

- Oh, that's great.

Where have you been called?

- Yeah, Missionary Slater,
where have you felt called?

[Slater slurps]

- DQ.

- I've never heard of DQ.

Where's that?

- It's near Afghanistan,
and you know,

the kids there are
very impoverished.

Well, the thing is, the Lord's
still moving on my heart

on where He wants to place me.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

[bright music]

[doors click]

[bell dings]

[hands whoosh]

[Slater sniffs]

You guys ready?

- [May] For what?

- For church, of course.

- You're coming with us?

- It's Sunday, right, kids?

We always go to
church on Sundays.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Well, in that case,

I actually had something
made for you a while ago.

[drawer slams]

- A Bible.

- That's right.
- Yay!

- I think every missionary
needs his own Bible.

- With their name on it.

That's what you made for me.

Cool.

Now everyone can know
this is Slater's Bible.

- Yay.
- Cool.

All right, all right,
I'll lead the way, guys.

I've been there many times.

Oh yeah, this way.

This way, sorry.
- One question.

- [Slater] What's that?
- [Aisha] He'll lead the way.

- [May] Why that shirt?

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

- Why does everyone have their
hands up like this again?

- Well, in the Bible, this
is how we surrender to God.

- I knew that.

- Actually, it's a
little more like that.

Yeah.

- I knew that.

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

- It is the presence
of the Holy Spirit

that makes the word
of God alive, makes
it come alive to us.

And this was what happened

in a conversation recorded
in John, chapter three.

Nicodemus said to him,

"It's evident that
God is with you

"because you're
doing this stuff."

But he came to ask Jesus

about the subject
of being born again,

which is what I want to talk
briefly to you today about

is being born again.

- What does he
mean by born again?

I've already been born.

That doesn't make sense.

- Well...

I'll explain it all afterwards.

Maybe we should just listen.

- I am listening.

I just want him to explain it.

- [Pastor] Can he
enter a second time

into his mother's
womb and be born?

- I'm listening.

- Jesus said to Nicodemus,
"That which is born of flesh-"

- I didn't know
church was so scary.

- It's not always.

- But that which is born
of spirit is spirit.

What he was speaking
to Nicodemus about

is not natural birth,
but is spiritual birth.

- Hi.

I'm Ava.

- Hey, I'm Missionary Slater.

- Wow, missionary.

Where have you been?

Africa?

[bright music]

[door slams]

- Hey, guys.

- Slater, we don't
wanna go tonight.

- Why?

I thought you guys loved
going to Colleen's house.

- Last time we went,
Kyle jumped off a cliff,

and then we had to go to the ER

and sit in the
car for two hours.

It was 80 degrees outside.

- Well, the chances of
that happening again

are very small, I promise.

- You don't know Kyle.

- Listen, tonight's
a big night for me.

I need you guys to take one
for the team, all right?

Go have fun with Colleen.

Now how do I look?

- Snazzy.

- Terrible.

- Eh.

- [sighs] Well, Ray's in the
car waiting for you guys.

Best behavior, all right?

Come here.

- But his car
smells like IcyHot.

- And fruit.

- [May] Yeah.

- He has been on
that juice cleanse,

but just ask him to
roll the window down.

It'll be all right, I promise.

[bright piano music]

Hey, what are you doing?

You gotta get outta here.

She just came down the stairs.

Go.

[fingers snap]

Okay, okay.

[Slater groans]

Go, go, get outta here.

Go, go, go.

Hey, Aisha!

- [Aisha] Hey!

- [Slater] Hey,
hey, hey, hold on.

I'm gonna put this on you.

- [Aisha] Oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh. [laughs]

Okay, okay, okay.

- [Slater] Right
here, right here.

- [Aisha] Don't bump
me into anything.

- Yeah.

[Aisha laughs]

I wouldn't hurt you.

Don't worry.

[both laugh]

- Oh, oh, okay.
- Just take seat right there.

- Okay, oh, okay.

Oh!

Okay.

- All right.

And...

- Oh.

Okay.

[Aisha gasps]

Oh my gosh!

This looks amazing.

Did you make all of this?

- Yeah. [laughs]

- Wow.

- Would you like
something to drink?

- [Aisha] Um...

- It's just juice.

It's a sparkling grape juice.

- Oh. [laughs]

No, thank you.

I'm fine with...

Is this tea?

- Sweet tea.
- Yes.

That's good.

This looks fantastic.

- This is crazy.

- Why are you looking
at me like that?

- You're not redheaded and loud,

and you're just not Lana.

[Aisha laughs]

It's crazy.

- What an interesting
choice of compliment.

- Well, let's dig in.

I really...

You know, I don't get to
have a lot of fancy dinners,

but everyone knows that I'm
the epitome of class, you know?

So any chance I get to show
off my skills of class,

I appreciate it.

- Undoubtedly.

- This is my great-grandmother's
secret recipe.

- Wow.

- Yeah, she would serenade it
her special sauce for two days

and roast it slowly
over a blue flame.

- Well, this is delicious.

[Slater's jaw clicking]

What's that noise?

- I think my jaw is clicking.

It's weird.

It only happens
when I'm nervous,

but I'm clearly not
nervous or anything.

[utensils clatter]

[Slater's jaw clicking]

So Aisha, I know you don't mind

if I get down to the real
nitty-gritty things and-

- Yeah.

- I ask you a little
something personal?

- Okay.

- This missionary Barry,
what's all that about?

- What do you mean?

- Who is he to you?

- Barry is a very good friend.

- [sighs] Does he know that?

- Yeah, absolutely.

Why?

- Nothing.

I was asking for a friend.

- Of course.

- You know,

I wrote you a song.

- Did you really?

- Yeah, but you probably
wouldn't wanna hear it.

- What?

No, of course I do.

- You sure?

- What did you write?

I mean, I'm not really
prepared, but this is.

- How did you do
that? [guitar music]

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Your eyes are so beautiful
and green tonight ♪

♪ They make me want to do
the right thing in my life ♪

[Aisha laughs]

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

♪ Aisha ♪

[clears throat] I mean, it's
just, it's a work in progress.

I only wrote a little
bit last night, you know.

- That was beautiful.

You know what really-
- No, it was bad.

I'm embarrassed.

- You know what really made it?

Your facial expressions.

- Really? [laughs]

Would you like to dance
awkwardly in the moonlight?

- Slater, I would
love nothing more

than to dance awkwardly
in the moonlight.

[chair squeaks]

We're off to a good start
with the awkwardness. [grunts]

- I mean, I thought
it was the table,

but now I know it was you.

- Thanks for that.
- Yes ma'am.

[smooth jazz music]

- Nice.

I'll put my hands here.

A little higher.

Too high.

Right there.

Now close.

All the way.

There you go.

- So...

I've been known to
be very spontaneous

and just getting up
doing magic things.

- Oh really?

- Yeah.

This is one of my
special tricks.

[fingers snap]

[Aisha laughs]

[bright piano music]

[Slater and Aisha laugh]

Isn't this perfect, Aisha?

Isn't this everything
you've ever wanted?

- No.

- Well, then why
are we doing this?

We look stupid.

- Thank you.

- This food looks good.

I can't wait to eat.

- Hey guys, hey guys.

Settle down, settle down.

We don't eat till we pray, okay?

- Since when?

- Since I became a
Christian, right?

- I'm a Christian too.

- Right on, brother.

Let's all close our
eyes and bow our heads.

Come on.

- Can I pray?

- Yeah.

- Thank you for this food.

Amen.

- Amen.

- I'll take it.

Amen.
- Amen.

I'm really proud of you guys.

- Things are looking up.

[Archer slurps]

Where did he learn
this type of behavior?

- It's a mystery.

- Let not your
heart be troubled.

You believe in God.

Believe also in me.

In my Father's house,
there are many mansions.

If it were not so, I
would have told you.

I go to prepare a place for you.

- I miss Mom and Dad.

- Me too.

- You know, we'll see
'em again one day.

- In heaven?

- Yeah, in heaven.

I love you guys.

- Love you too.

- Love you.

[wine splashing]

- So I don't know
if I told you this,

but I'm a Christian now.

- A what?

- A born-again Christian.

- Oh, that's great.

That calls for a toast.

My best chardonnay.

- Actually, no thank you.

I'm a real Christian.

Apparently we don't drink.

- A real Christian.

What is that?

- Let me show you.

You should come to
our church on Sunday.

- Church, yeah, uh-huh.

Let me think about it.

- I also wanted you
to set up a meeting

with the board of directors.

There's a couple
things I wanna go over.

I'd like to see some changes.

- Son of a gun.

It took becoming a Christian
for you to decide that?

- Well, there's just a
lot in my life going on,

and trying to get everything
organized and in order.

I think that's right.

[glass clinks]

- So,

what time does church start?

[engine whirring]

- You know, I'm really proud

of the changes that you've made.

I always knew you
had a good heart.

- Really?

- Yeah.

God showed me this
potential that you had,

and, well, He obviously
wouldn't let me give up on you.

- Well, thank you for
being patient with me.

- You're welcome.

[bright music]

- Lana.

What are you doing here?

- I really just
wanna say goodbye.

I do still love you, but

I know you don't want me back,

and I've accepted that.

So I just need some closure.

[gentle guitar music]

- [sighs] Bye, Slater.

- Hey, Aisha!

You gotta look at a
picture of this ocelot.

It's so cute.

It's a baby.

I thought you'd changed.

[Slater yells]

[foot stamping]

[foot stamping]

[feet stamping]

[woman speaking in
foreign language]

- Slater?

- What are you guys doing?

- Can we go to church
tomorrow with Aisha?

- Please?

- Aisha?

Is that her on the phone?

- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, of course.

That's fine.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Yeah.

All right, go on.

Read some books.

- [May] You're the best.

- Indeed, the trials of
our life are real trials,

but thankfully we
serve a real God.

So let's bow our heads

for a moment together
in silent prayer.

[gentle organ music]

[door clicks]

- Excuse me, sir.

May I sit there?

Sir, can I please sit down?

It's important.

[woman clears throat]

Thank you.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm here to pray, Aisha.

I tried calling.

- I know.

You know, it's
really inappropriate

that you're here right now.

- I just, I just wanted
to give you this.

- No.

- Please.

Open it.

- No.

- Open.

Open the box.

- No, I'm not going to open it.

- Just open it, please!
- I'm not gonna open it!

- Please!

- Just open it so he shuts up!

- Come on, open it.

- It's okay.

- [Congregation] Open it.

Open it!

Open it!

Open it!

- [Woman] Open the box.

- Okay, okay, okay.

[bright music]

Oh.

- I just want you
to know how I feel.

See, I've always had a
hard time expressing.

I feel like all these
other women I've been with,

they've always brought
out the worst in me,

but everything changed
when I met you.

There's something
different about you,

and I didn't know what it was,

but now I know it's because

the God that you believe in,

the God that we
believe in, He's real.

And I know I love you.

[Aisha laughs]

- Slater, you know, I knew
from the minute that I saw you

that you were the one.

You were going to be
a project, [laughs]

but you were the one.

- Well, thank you.

- I love you too.

Yes.

- All right, all
right, all right.

Let's get our eyes
back on the Lord.

- Welcome our new creed!

- [Group] Huzzah!

- You know, Aisha?

Things are really starting-

- Shh.

[relaxed music]

- April.

It's yours.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Looks really good on you.

- Thank you.

Ow.

Hey!

- [May] Hey!

Ow!

- Can we give May away?

- [May] You hit me in the face!

- You'll be fine.

It's not the first time.

Ow!

- [May] That does not
make it better, okay?

- Shh.

No one asked you to speak.

[dramatic music]

It was a game.

Can we give May away?

- [May] They like
me best anyway.

[bright music]

I don't think anyone
likes you the best.

[engine whirring]

[upbeat music]

[energetic music]