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1
00:00:02,750 --> 00:00:04,776
[Sighs] We're not gonna find any change.
2
00:00:04,828 --> 00:00:06,895
We haven't had anybody over in months.
3
00:00:06,945 --> 00:00:07,978
If we do find something,
4
00:00:08,012 --> 00:00:09,713
we're just taking it from each other.
5
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:12,382
That's like robbing Peter to pay Peter.
6
00:00:12,417 --> 00:00:14,418
We all know Peter's broke.
7
00:00:14,510 --> 00:00:16,678
Why do these things have zippers?
8
00:00:16,703 --> 00:00:18,137
I guess you're supposed to
take the pillow out
9
00:00:18,172 --> 00:00:19,405
and wash the cover.
10
00:00:19,439 --> 00:00:22,608
- Oh!
- Oh!
11
00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:25,044
Well, we haven't done it in 32 years.
12
00:00:25,078 --> 00:00:28,080
If we wash them now, all that'll
be left is the zipper.
13
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,583
Hey, guys. We can't stay long.
14
00:00:30,617 --> 00:00:33,019
We just got our test results in.
We're COVID-negative.
15
00:00:33,053 --> 00:00:35,054
Just came back.
Got to clean up a little,
16
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:36,689
charge our phones,
and get back to the protest.
17
00:00:36,723 --> 00:00:38,958
I thought you couldn't go
because you had to go to work.
18
00:00:38,992 --> 00:00:40,193
I'm only going on my days off.
19
00:00:40,227 --> 00:00:41,394
Hey, all. I'm Josh.
20
00:00:41,428 --> 00:00:43,563
No, no. Don't make a speech.
21
00:00:43,597 --> 00:00:45,097
Hey! Don't rush off.
22
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,767
Let your guest sit on the couch.
23
00:00:47,835 --> 00:00:50,036
Who's that guy?
24
00:00:50,070 --> 00:00:51,971
I think I saw him when I went
down there to talk to Harris,
25
00:00:52,005 --> 00:00:54,240
but I'm not sure what's going on.
26
00:00:54,274 --> 00:00:56,976
Something must be going on,
'cause if I'm not mistaken,
27
00:00:57,010 --> 00:00:59,178
he's the first guy
she's brought home, right?
28
00:00:59,213 --> 00:01:01,047
Well, I'm sure it's just a friend.
29
00:01:01,081 --> 00:01:02,715
You don't bring a boyfriend over here
30
00:01:02,749 --> 00:01:05,017
unless it's a ritual sacrifice
of some kind.
31
00:01:07,754 --> 00:01:08,821
Oh, hey.
32
00:01:08,856 --> 00:01:10,623
Do you know anything about this Josh guy
33
00:01:10,657 --> 00:01:11,991
that Harris brought home?
34
00:01:12,025 --> 00:01:13,693
I've seen him on her Instagram.
35
00:01:13,727 --> 00:01:15,728
She was spray painting
something on a building,
36
00:01:15,762 --> 00:01:17,230
and he was holding her cans.
37
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:21,801
I love you 'cause you don't know
what that means.
38
00:01:21,835 --> 00:01:23,002
[Liquid gurgling]
39
00:01:23,036 --> 00:01:24,871
[Gasps] The sink is backing up.
40
00:01:24,905 --> 00:01:27,173
That means they're taking
a shower together.
41
00:01:27,207 --> 00:01:29,175
DARLENE: Oh, I doubt that.
42
00:01:29,209 --> 00:01:31,477
She's only known him for a couple days.
43
00:01:31,511 --> 00:01:33,646
At their age, a couple days
is all you need
44
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,481
to start soaping each other up.
45
00:01:36,850 --> 00:01:38,351
Uh, Mark, can you give us a minute?
46
00:01:38,385 --> 00:01:41,187
Yeah, good idea.
Otherwise I might figure out
47
00:01:41,255 --> 00:01:44,624
what "soaping each other up" means.
48
00:01:44,658 --> 00:01:45,958
JACKIE: Grow up, Nana.
49
00:01:45,993 --> 00:01:47,493
Josh is a boyfriend.
50
00:01:47,527 --> 00:01:50,463
Well, all right, well, if he is,
I need to know way more about him.
51
00:01:50,497 --> 00:01:52,531
Oh, I know all about Josh's type.
52
00:01:52,599 --> 00:01:55,501
Lots of hair, lots of lies.
53
00:01:55,535 --> 00:01:57,036
Not necessarily.
54
00:01:57,070 --> 00:01:59,438
I've dated a lot of bald liars.
55
00:01:59,473 --> 00:02:02,008
Some of them lied about having hair.
56
00:02:02,075 --> 00:02:05,278
I'm just saying there is
a right way to do this.
57
00:02:05,312 --> 00:02:08,047
First you tell the mom
how young she looks.
58
00:02:08,072 --> 00:02:10,173
Then you wait until
everybody goes to sleep,
59
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:11,884
then you sneak to the backyard
60
00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:13,552
and have sex behind the chicken coop.
61
00:02:13,587 --> 00:02:16,756
A little respect...
that's all I'm asking for here.
62
00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:18,624
She's 18, Darlene.
63
00:02:18,659 --> 00:02:21,294
It's not the end of the world
if Harris has shower sex.
64
00:02:21,361 --> 00:02:23,562
You better hope that's all
they're doing up there.
65
00:02:23,597 --> 00:02:25,464
What do you think they're doing
that's worse than sex?
66
00:02:25,499 --> 00:02:29,135
I'm not getting into it
with you squares.
67
00:02:31,638 --> 00:02:33,806
Hey. I'm Darlene, Harris' mom.
68
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,409
Oh, you're Harris' mom?
You look so young.
69
00:02:36,476 --> 00:02:40,746
Oh. I'm not the type that needs
that kind of thing, but thanks.
70
00:02:40,814 --> 00:02:43,382
Okay if I grab a couple sodas, Darlene?
71
00:02:43,417 --> 00:02:46,185
Oh, sure, Josh. I just
put some in the fridge.
72
00:02:46,219 --> 00:02:47,720
And, you know, while you're in there,
73
00:02:47,754 --> 00:02:49,956
why don't you hang out
with Harris' aunts?
74
00:02:49,990 --> 00:02:52,091
They're super curious
and fun to talk to.
75
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:54,327
Sure.
76
00:02:54,394 --> 00:02:56,128
Hey.
77
00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:01,133
So, uh, sit down a minute, Josh.
78
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,407
That was a quick shower.
79
00:03:08,475 --> 00:03:10,009
Yeah, Harris wanted to take hers,
80
00:03:10,077 --> 00:03:11,377
and I'm just grabbing her a soda.
81
00:03:11,411 --> 00:03:13,512
Separate showers... noted.
82
00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:15,781
Squares.
83
00:03:15,816 --> 00:03:17,883
Oh, you may want to fix your
water pressure, by the way.
84
00:03:17,918 --> 00:03:19,652
It's somewhere in between
a trickle and a leak.
85
00:03:19,686 --> 00:03:21,721
So we're to take from that
that at your house,
86
00:03:21,788 --> 00:03:23,255
you have great water pressure?
87
00:03:23,323 --> 00:03:25,524
Good to know.
88
00:03:25,559 --> 00:03:28,361
So, your house with good water pressure,
89
00:03:28,428 --> 00:03:32,732
uh, you live there alone,
with a roommate, or...
90
00:03:32,766 --> 00:03:35,034
[Scoffs] maybe a wife?
91
00:03:35,068 --> 00:03:36,135
Yeah, I'm not married.
92
00:03:36,203 --> 00:03:37,903
So you're living with your girlfriend.
93
00:03:37,938 --> 00:03:40,139
I'm sorry... boyfriend.
94
00:03:40,173 --> 00:03:43,309
Uh, I live with my folks,
and it's strictly platonic.
95
00:03:43,377 --> 00:03:46,212
Good. So... you and Harris.
96
00:03:46,246 --> 00:03:49,615
Camping out at the protest together.
97
00:03:49,683 --> 00:03:51,150
Are you together-together,
98
00:03:51,218 --> 00:03:53,419
or is this one of these, uh,
99
00:03:53,453 --> 00:03:56,589
"everybody's lovin' everybody" deals?
100
00:03:57,858 --> 00:03:59,492
And that's not a judgment.
101
00:03:59,526 --> 00:04:01,660
She's a freak.
102
00:04:01,695 --> 00:04:03,329
You know, we're really not into labels.
103
00:04:03,363 --> 00:04:05,297
We're just hanging.
I think Harris is great.
104
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,933
And she's got this aura of
positivity and light around her.
105
00:04:07,968 --> 00:04:09,135
BECKY: Yeah.
106
00:04:09,169 --> 00:04:12,238
After a couple weed gummies.
107
00:04:12,305 --> 00:04:16,142
That's not a judgment, either.
She's an alcoholic.
108
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:19,612
Harris really wanted her soda.
109
00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:25,084
What'd you guys find out?
110
00:04:25,152 --> 00:04:26,919
Did you just walk around the house?
111
00:04:26,953 --> 00:04:29,355
He's not married, he and Harris
are definitely a thing,
112
00:04:29,389 --> 00:04:31,190
although they're not labeling it,
113
00:04:31,224 --> 00:04:34,160
and he and his folks have
great water pressure at home.
114
00:04:34,227 --> 00:04:36,796
Oh, my God. And they're a thing?
115
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:37,930
This is it.
116
00:04:37,964 --> 00:04:40,266
This is Harris' first real boyfriend.
117
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,001
What are you so worried about?
118
00:04:42,035 --> 00:04:44,537
- Let's see where this goes.
- We know where this goes.
119
00:04:44,571 --> 00:04:47,273
You Conner girls always marry
the first guys you bring home.
120
00:04:47,307 --> 00:04:49,508
Roseanne did, you did, and so did you.
121
00:04:49,543 --> 00:04:51,210
No, that was a little different.
122
00:04:51,244 --> 00:04:52,678
We didn't have a lot of options.
123
00:04:52,746 --> 00:04:54,947
We were living in a run-down,
crowded house
124
00:04:54,981 --> 00:04:56,415
and we were trying desperately
125
00:04:56,450 --> 00:04:59,218
to get the hell away from our family.
126
00:04:59,252 --> 00:05:01,620
Okay, we really got to
find out about this guy.
127
00:05:03,657 --> 00:05:10,420
3x08
Young Love, Old Lions and Middle-Aged Hyenas
128
00:05:10,486 --> 00:05:19,805
?
129
00:05:19,873 --> 00:05:27,847
?
130
00:05:27,881 --> 00:05:35,921
?
131
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,128
Hey. What, you gonna build something?
132
00:05:43,153 --> 00:05:46,555
Yeah, I really need a closet
in the basement.
133
00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:49,401
Uh, you know a closet is
basically a square, right?
134
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:52,338
'Cause that looks like an
optical illusion of some sort.
135
00:05:52,372 --> 00:05:55,274
[Scoffs] Clearly
I breastfed so long today,
136
00:05:55,308 --> 00:05:57,009
the baby sucked out all my brains.
137
00:05:57,043 --> 00:05:58,711
[Chuckles]
138
00:05:58,745 --> 00:06:02,281
Well, hey, I'd love a project.
139
00:06:02,315 --> 00:06:03,916
Shopping for other people's groceries
140
00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:06,252
- isn't as fulfilling as it sounds.
- [Chuckles]
141
00:06:06,286 --> 00:06:08,420
Why don't you let me
help you build the thing?
142
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:09,788
Oh, that's sweet, Ben,
143
00:06:09,823 --> 00:06:12,892
but these aren't
the hands of a carpenter.
144
00:06:12,959 --> 00:06:14,560
These are the baby-soft hands
145
00:06:14,594 --> 00:06:17,062
of a man who picks out
other people's toilet paper.
146
00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:20,132
Oh-kay. I grew up in
my dad's hardware store, okay?
147
00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:21,433
I can do something simple like a closet.
148
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,935
Come on. Let's go down to the basement,
149
00:06:22,969 --> 00:06:24,603
and we'll get the right measurements.
150
00:06:24,638 --> 00:06:26,639
Okay, but don't tell my dad.
151
00:06:26,673 --> 00:06:29,408
The poor guy feels like he has
to do everything around here,
152
00:06:29,442 --> 00:06:32,311
so I wanted to surprise him
by having it done already.
153
00:06:32,345 --> 00:06:34,313
[Sighs]
154
00:06:34,381 --> 00:06:36,248
I've always felt bad that he wanted sons
155
00:06:36,283 --> 00:06:38,384
and he had me, Darlene, and DJ.
156
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,720
How are we gonna keep your dad
from seeing it?
157
00:06:41,755 --> 00:06:43,422
Doesn't he go down there
once in a while?
158
00:06:43,456 --> 00:06:45,591
Oh, nah. His knees are shot.
159
00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:48,494
Uh, the stairs are like a vertical moat.
160
00:06:48,528 --> 00:06:51,530
?
161
00:06:51,565 --> 00:06:52,831
I'm so sorry, guys.
162
00:06:52,899 --> 00:06:54,300
I got caught up at work.
163
00:06:54,334 --> 00:06:56,402
Wow. This looks great, Dad.
164
00:06:56,469 --> 00:06:58,337
So, Josh, love your mother,
hate your mother?
165
00:06:58,371 --> 00:07:00,139
That is so funny.
166
00:07:00,173 --> 00:07:03,142
Josh's parents wanted to know
the exact same thing about me.
167
00:07:03,176 --> 00:07:05,444
Boy, that was a tough moment. [Chuckles]
168
00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:09,448
Wow. So you, uh... you met
Josh's parents already?
169
00:07:09,482 --> 00:07:10,649
Oh, yeah, just on the phone.
170
00:07:10,684 --> 00:07:13,118
Josh was telling me all about
their protest plans.
171
00:07:13,153 --> 00:07:16,188
Yeah, we are ready to occupy
major financial institutions
172
00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:17,456
in order to make a point
173
00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:19,325
about the uneven distribution of wealth.
174
00:07:19,359 --> 00:07:22,094
Interesting, because if you
start breaking into banks,
175
00:07:22,162 --> 00:07:24,296
I think the police will
enjoy the opportunity
176
00:07:24,331 --> 00:07:25,998
to debate your political beliefs
177
00:07:26,032 --> 00:07:27,900
with repeated nightsticks to the head.
178
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,503
That's a chance we're willing to take.
179
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,038
You guys have no idea how bad
180
00:07:33,073 --> 00:07:35,507
the income inequality is
in this country.
181
00:07:38,745 --> 00:07:41,013
I have some idea.
182
00:07:41,047 --> 00:07:44,516
Would you like a jelly glass
for your generic cola?
183
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:47,353
Look, I understand that you're willing
184
00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:48,988
to take a chance with your own head,
185
00:07:49,022 --> 00:07:50,990
but now you're talking about
my daughter's head.
186
00:07:51,024 --> 00:07:53,559
Mom, that's the only way
to get social-media coverage.
187
00:07:53,593 --> 00:07:55,027
I mean, Josh knows what he's doing.
188
00:07:55,095 --> 00:07:56,562
He's gone to a million protests.
189
00:07:56,630 --> 00:07:58,097
He's kind of a genius at this stuff.
190
00:07:58,131 --> 00:07:59,531
JOSH: Mm-hmm. If they come at us,
191
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:00,733
we're just gonna live-stream it.
192
00:08:00,767 --> 00:08:02,167
I have a video of me getting hit
193
00:08:02,202 --> 00:08:03,869
with a tear-gas canister in Philly.
194
00:08:03,903 --> 00:08:06,672
There was blood everywhere.
30,000 views.
195
00:08:09,643 --> 00:08:10,976
That's insane.
196
00:08:11,011 --> 00:08:13,112
Mom, I know you're kind of
nervous about this,
197
00:08:13,146 --> 00:08:14,380
but don't worry.
198
00:08:14,414 --> 00:08:16,181
We know what we're doing.
199
00:08:16,216 --> 00:08:18,417
Should probably get going.
200
00:08:18,451 --> 00:08:20,386
Gonna need this for the tear gas.
201
00:08:20,453 --> 00:08:21,420
That...
202
00:08:21,454 --> 00:08:23,889
That's almond milk!
203
00:08:26,626 --> 00:08:27,860
This is bad.
204
00:08:27,894 --> 00:08:29,428
Harris is listening to this kid,
205
00:08:29,462 --> 00:08:30,896
and the only thing we know about him
206
00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,765
is that he can't wait
to get into it with the cops.
207
00:08:32,799 --> 00:08:35,501
You got to go online and see if
this kid's got a death wish
208
00:08:35,535 --> 00:08:39,138
or is just talking like that
to impress Harris.
209
00:08:39,172 --> 00:08:40,506
With you and your sisters,
210
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:42,207
the only way I could get information
211
00:08:42,242 --> 00:08:44,576
was by giving your boyfriends
a friendly squeeze
212
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,645
right where the spine
meets the brain stem.
213
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:49,014
[Pops lips]
214
00:08:49,049 --> 00:08:50,585
But times change.
215
00:08:57,619 --> 00:09:00,361
Okay, where do you want
the shelf for your shoes?
216
00:09:00,622 --> 00:09:03,119
One shelf? I'm not Darlene.
217
00:09:04,591 --> 00:09:06,025
What the hell's going on here?
218
00:09:06,063 --> 00:09:08,598
[Softly] He made it across the moat.
219
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,075
- Hey, Dad.
- What's that supposed to be?
220
00:09:11,109 --> 00:09:14,078
Uh, a closet. It's almost done.
221
00:09:14,146 --> 00:09:16,981
All it needs is a coat of paint
and a door.
222
00:09:17,049 --> 00:09:19,217
I asked Ben to help me.
223
00:09:19,251 --> 00:09:20,585
I grew up in a hardware store.
224
00:09:20,619 --> 00:09:23,020
Well, if you'd grown up in
a house and gone to school,
225
00:09:23,055 --> 00:09:25,089
you would've known
you need masonry anchors.
226
00:09:25,157 --> 00:09:27,491
There's cinderblock behind that.
227
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,694
You can't just join it
together like this.
228
00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:31,462
Well, that's one opinion,
229
00:09:31,496 --> 00:09:33,431
but the way I was taught,
those screws will work.
230
00:09:33,465 --> 00:09:35,433
You just have to use
the right-sized drill bit.
231
00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:37,268
You know what? You're probably right.
232
00:09:37,302 --> 00:09:40,004
I've only got 45 years
in the construction business.
233
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,740
What do I know about building
things in my own house?
234
00:09:42,808 --> 00:09:45,743
It looks like you've done a great job.
235
00:09:45,811 --> 00:09:48,012
What are you doing?!
236
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,880
That took hours!
237
00:09:49,915 --> 00:09:51,782
You're so tired
when you get home from work,
238
00:09:51,817 --> 00:09:53,517
I thought you'd be happy
you didn't have to do it.
239
00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:56,120
Well, I'm not happy
'cause now I got to redo it.
240
00:09:56,154 --> 00:09:59,890
Nobody does anything in this
house without asking me first.
241
00:09:59,925 --> 00:10:02,760
[Dan sighs]
242
00:10:02,794 --> 00:10:04,695
[Dan groaning]
243
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,530
You know, that doesn't prove anything.
244
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,967
You know? You could do that
to any closet.
245
00:10:10,035 --> 00:10:11,736
?
246
00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:14,472
Josh is full of bull.
I can't even find that
247
00:10:14,506 --> 00:10:17,108
"Philadelphia blood everywhere"
thing he was talking about.
248
00:10:17,142 --> 00:10:20,611
And, by the way, never Google that.
249
00:10:20,646 --> 00:10:21,912
Keep looking.
250
00:10:21,980 --> 00:10:24,315
I want to be sure that
Harris is safe with him.
251
00:10:24,383 --> 00:10:25,716
We checked all the records,
252
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,485
every one of his socialmedia accounts.
253
00:10:27,519 --> 00:10:29,754
We didn't find anything weird.
Give it up.
254
00:10:29,788 --> 00:10:32,556
[Sighs] Oh, you stupid old women.
255
00:10:34,059 --> 00:10:35,726
If you want to know about someone,
256
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:37,595
you don't look at what they post.
257
00:10:37,629 --> 00:10:38,963
Everybody lies.
258
00:10:38,997 --> 00:10:40,498
You got to look at their parents
259
00:10:40,532 --> 00:10:42,633
or at their idiot friends
who drunk-post.
260
00:10:42,668 --> 00:10:44,602
That's where you'll get the truth.
261
00:10:44,636 --> 00:10:46,304
Here's his dad.
262
00:10:46,338 --> 00:10:49,473
Ohh. Whoa. Look.
263
00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:51,509
T-That's his house.
264
00:10:51,543 --> 00:10:54,612
Doesn't look very big,
but it's really nice.
265
00:10:54,646 --> 00:10:57,048
That's not a house. That's a yacht.
266
00:10:57,082 --> 00:10:59,283
They have a yacht!
267
00:10:59,318 --> 00:11:01,652
Any idea what crawled up Dad's butt?
268
00:11:01,687 --> 00:11:03,120
He just went off on me.
269
00:11:03,155 --> 00:11:05,923
Who cares? Look at this yacht.
270
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,658
Are we looking at buying one?
271
00:11:07,726 --> 00:11:10,127
Because things changed a lot
in the past hour.
272
00:11:10,195 --> 00:11:12,697
He isn't a psychopath! He's rich!
273
00:11:12,764 --> 00:11:15,499
- Who's rich?
- Josh and his family.
274
00:11:15,567 --> 00:11:17,134
Look.
275
00:11:17,202 --> 00:11:19,003
Oh, his dad's pretty good-looking.
276
00:11:19,071 --> 00:11:21,839
And his mom's got "first wife"
written all over her.
277
00:11:21,873 --> 00:11:23,541
I bet he's looking to trade up.
278
00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:25,476
He's too old for you, Becky.
279
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:28,612
Besides, I'd actually
kill that woman for him.
280
00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:31,282
Let's check out his drunk friends.
281
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,317
Wow.
282
00:11:33,352 --> 00:11:35,720
Looks like Josh didn't lie
about doing a lot of protests,
283
00:11:35,754 --> 00:11:38,556
but he's also been doing
a lot of ladies.
284
00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:40,057
Oh, yeah, look.
285
00:11:40,092 --> 00:11:41,859
Here's a picture of him
blocking bulldozers
286
00:11:41,893 --> 00:11:44,756
in the Amazon rainforest
with a hot Brazilian girl.
287
00:11:44,818 --> 00:11:46,873
And here's another one three months ago
288
00:11:46,898 --> 00:11:49,467
where he's protesting
the Keystone Pipeline
289
00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:52,561
with his arm around a girl
from the Sioux Nation.
290
00:11:52,604 --> 00:11:55,439
Oh, my God! This is ridiculous!
291
00:11:55,474 --> 00:11:57,808
He has a girl for every cause.
292
00:11:57,843 --> 00:12:01,178
This guy is just using Harris
as his poverty poster girl,
293
00:12:01,246 --> 00:12:02,813
and when he's done with this protest,
294
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:05,282
he's gonna dump her,
and it's gonna destroy her.
295
00:12:05,317 --> 00:12:06,484
I got to go down there.
296
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,586
Oh, poor Harris.
297
00:12:08,653 --> 00:12:10,888
Making a bad choice can ruin your life.
298
00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:15,359
Hey, check out if, uh,
Josh's dad is an activist, too.
299
00:12:15,393 --> 00:12:18,028
Yeah, see if he's into
300
00:12:18,063 --> 00:12:20,865
rescuing single broke mothers
from their basements
301
00:12:20,899 --> 00:12:24,268
and releasing them to run free
in sprawling mansions.
302
00:12:31,732 --> 00:12:34,214
Dad, take a break.
303
00:12:34,312 --> 00:12:36,813
You can't build my closet in one day.
304
00:12:36,847 --> 00:12:38,882
If I leave this half-finished,
you and the beard farmer
305
00:12:38,916 --> 00:12:40,250
are just gonna go back down there
306
00:12:40,284 --> 00:12:42,155
and screw things up even worse.
307
00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:44,610
We were just trying to take
something off your plate.
308
00:12:44,635 --> 00:12:45,702
Think you know what happens
309
00:12:45,727 --> 00:12:48,862
when somebody tries to
take something off my plate.
310
00:12:48,896 --> 00:12:52,132
I don't get it.
Why did you get so angry?
311
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:54,201
Because I don't want Ben
doing stuff for me
312
00:12:54,235 --> 00:12:56,603
'cause you think I'm too old
to do it myself.
313
00:12:56,671 --> 00:12:59,372
I didn't say old. I said "tired."
314
00:12:59,407 --> 00:13:01,274
I know what you meant.
315
00:13:01,342 --> 00:13:03,410
[Sighs] I don't like seeing you
316
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:06,146
working yourself to death
to prove a point!
317
00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:07,647
Instead of being out here,
318
00:13:07,682 --> 00:13:10,317
you should be on the couch
with Louise having a beer
319
00:13:10,384 --> 00:13:13,487
or... or working on your bike
having a beer or...
320
00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:16,690
having a beer
and planning your next beer.
321
00:13:16,724 --> 00:13:18,258
Or having a bunch of beers
322
00:13:18,326 --> 00:13:21,428
and building a closet
to see how it turns out.
323
00:13:21,462 --> 00:13:23,597
Oh. Beer.
324
00:13:23,664 --> 00:13:27,768
?
325
00:13:27,802 --> 00:13:30,704
Harris?
326
00:13:30,772 --> 00:13:33,673
Harris?
327
00:13:35,376 --> 00:13:38,712
Mom. What do you want?
328
00:13:38,746 --> 00:13:42,716
Listen, I found some stuff out
about Josh on the Internet
329
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,351
that I think you need to know.
330
00:13:44,385 --> 00:13:46,386
You looked him up?
That is really creepy.
331
00:13:46,420 --> 00:13:49,222
No, it wasn't me.
It was Jackie and Becky.
332
00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:51,424
With a technical assist from Mark.
333
00:13:51,459 --> 00:13:53,827
- [Scoffs]
- Did you know that Josh is rich?
334
00:13:53,861 --> 00:13:54,995
Shh!
335
00:13:56,364 --> 00:13:58,498
Yes, I know that his parents have money.
336
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:00,901
So what? He's more committed
than anyone here.
337
00:14:00,935 --> 00:14:03,970
Yeah, of course he is,
because if he gets arrested,
338
00:14:04,005 --> 00:14:08,408
then Daddy, accompanied by his
new girlfriend, Jackie or Becky,
339
00:14:08,442 --> 00:14:10,877
bails him out
and wipes his record clean.
340
00:14:10,912 --> 00:14:13,013
If you get arrested, you're on your own.
341
00:14:13,047 --> 00:14:15,248
What are you talking about?
Of course he would help me.
342
00:14:15,316 --> 00:14:16,850
I'm his girlfriend.
343
00:14:16,884 --> 00:14:18,752
[Sighs]
344
00:14:18,786 --> 00:14:21,188
All right.
345
00:14:21,222 --> 00:14:23,023
[Sighs]
346
00:14:26,194 --> 00:14:29,396
Here's the thing.
347
00:14:29,430 --> 00:14:33,066
Josh has a different girl
for every cause, all right?
348
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:35,368
So this is about class struggle,
349
00:14:35,403 --> 00:14:38,939
so you're the poor white girl
that gives him street cred.
350
00:14:38,973 --> 00:14:41,174
Wow. You are so messed up.
351
00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:43,009
I don't care that
he had other girlfriends.
352
00:14:43,044 --> 00:14:44,678
You're just trying to dig stuff up
353
00:14:44,745 --> 00:14:47,314
because you don't think a guy
like Josh could like me for me.
354
00:14:47,348 --> 00:14:49,883
No, I just want you to know
who Josh really is.
355
00:14:49,917 --> 00:14:51,885
I don't want you to get
your heart broken.
356
00:14:51,919 --> 00:14:53,553
Well, how do you know
he's gonna break my heart?
357
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:54,921
Maybe I'll break his heart.
358
00:14:54,956 --> 00:14:57,057
Yeah, that doesn't happen for us.
359
00:14:57,091 --> 00:14:59,025
We're done talking.
360
00:14:59,093 --> 00:15:00,727
Wait. Harris.
361
00:15:00,761 --> 00:15:04,130
You have no idea how bad this can hurt.
362
00:15:04,165 --> 00:15:05,866
Yeah, you're right.
363
00:15:05,933 --> 00:15:07,968
I have no idea about a lot of things
364
00:15:08,002 --> 00:15:10,437
because you're always hovering
around me trying to protect me.
365
00:15:10,471 --> 00:15:12,939
Just leave me alone
and let me feel things.
366
00:15:13,007 --> 00:15:14,608
You don't have anything to teach me.
367
00:15:14,642 --> 00:15:16,443
I mean, you screwed up your entire life.
368
00:15:16,510 --> 00:15:18,378
I don't want to be anything like you.
369
00:15:18,412 --> 00:15:20,714
So just go home, smother Mark,
370
00:15:20,781 --> 00:15:22,649
and know that I don't need you anymore.
371
00:15:22,683 --> 00:15:25,218
Wow.
372
00:15:25,253 --> 00:15:27,554
Uh, okay.
373
00:15:27,588 --> 00:15:31,191
You know what? I hope you have
a wonderful life with Josh.
374
00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:32,893
I hope that you guys get married,
375
00:15:32,927 --> 00:15:34,461
and I hope you have a beautiful baby
376
00:15:34,495 --> 00:15:36,897
that kicks you in the heart
just like you just did to me.
377
00:15:36,931 --> 00:15:38,899
And you know what?
If you don't get married,
378
00:15:38,933 --> 00:15:40,834
at least let Richie Rich knock you up.
379
00:15:40,868 --> 00:15:42,802
You think of your family for once!
380
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,342
BECKY: Okay, I know what's
going on with my dad.
381
00:15:49,377 --> 00:15:53,813
Oh, yeah? Oh, so what's buggin'
"Old man wall anchors"?
382
00:15:53,881 --> 00:15:56,349
He's getting older and he
doesn't want to be replaced.
383
00:15:56,384 --> 00:15:57,717
Ah.
384
00:15:57,752 --> 00:16:00,287
And then you come in here
with your hardware store
385
00:16:00,321 --> 00:16:02,656
and your marshmallowy hands...
386
00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:05,525
- [Chuckles]
- ...and you're a threat.
387
00:16:05,559 --> 00:16:07,961
But I know how to fix it.
388
00:16:07,995 --> 00:16:11,798
Just go tell him
you suck at building things.
389
00:16:11,832 --> 00:16:14,034
But I don't suck at building things.
390
00:16:14,101 --> 00:16:15,936
I know that.
391
00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:17,938
You just need to admit
you need his help.
392
00:16:17,972 --> 00:16:19,606
But I don't need his help.
393
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,875
I know that!
394
00:16:21,909 --> 00:16:24,945
You and I both know that's not true.
395
00:16:24,979 --> 00:16:28,548
I mean, you're great at
pretty much everything.
396
00:16:28,616 --> 00:16:29,849
Oh.
397
00:16:29,884 --> 00:16:31,017
You're amazing.
398
00:16:31,085 --> 00:16:32,285
Stop.
399
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,754
But you know the male ego.
400
00:16:34,789 --> 00:16:36,890
You got to tell 'em
what they want to hear,
401
00:16:36,924 --> 00:16:38,625
and they'll do whatever you want.
402
00:16:38,659 --> 00:16:40,327
[Chuckling] Right.
403
00:16:40,394 --> 00:16:41,695
- [Laughs]
- I know.
404
00:16:41,762 --> 00:16:43,029
Some guys, right?
405
00:16:43,064 --> 00:16:44,130
Yeah.
406
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,968
- [Clears throat]
- [Grunts]
407
00:16:48,002 --> 00:16:49,869
[Hammering]
408
00:16:52,106 --> 00:16:53,873
I just thought I'd tighten that up
409
00:16:53,908 --> 00:16:56,042
before I got back to the closet.
410
00:16:56,077 --> 00:16:59,245
Wow! Well, this is fantastic.
411
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,314
Okay, now that I see
what you've done here,
412
00:17:01,382 --> 00:17:02,816
I think you were right about
413
00:17:02,883 --> 00:17:04,284
how to connect the frame to the wall.
414
00:17:04,318 --> 00:17:06,186
It's not just about
connecting the walls, Junior.
415
00:17:06,253 --> 00:17:08,888
I-It's about the kind of
materials you're using,
416
00:17:08,923 --> 00:17:11,191
- the hardware.
- Right.
417
00:17:11,225 --> 00:17:14,094
Although, I-I think that is the
hardware that many people use,
418
00:17:14,128 --> 00:17:15,929
and there's nothing wrong
with the materials I chose,
419
00:17:15,963 --> 00:17:17,263
but that's not the point.
420
00:17:17,331 --> 00:17:20,100
The point is that... [Sighs]
421
00:17:20,134 --> 00:17:23,003
...I really should've realized
with all of your experience
422
00:17:23,037 --> 00:17:24,838
that I should've consulted you on this.
423
00:17:24,905 --> 00:17:26,639
Damn right. If you'd have come to me,
424
00:17:26,674 --> 00:17:28,441
you wouldn't have made so many mistakes.
425
00:17:28,509 --> 00:17:29,876
Eh, well, again,
426
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,845
I don't know if I'd call 'em
mistakes so much as choices,
427
00:17:31,912 --> 00:17:34,948
but, look, I'd really like
to work with you,
428
00:17:34,982 --> 00:17:37,050
you know, maybe even learn at your feet.
429
00:17:37,084 --> 00:17:38,752
- Don't patronize me.
- No.
430
00:17:38,786 --> 00:17:40,587
- I'm not an idiot.
- Come on.
431
00:17:40,621 --> 00:17:44,057
Look, I'm... I'm not trying
to replace you, man.
432
00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:45,959
I couldn't possibly.
433
00:17:45,993 --> 00:17:49,696
You know a hundred times more
than I ever could.
434
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:51,765
And, look, this is your house,
435
00:17:51,799 --> 00:17:54,734
so if you want to keep
doing everything around here
436
00:17:54,802 --> 00:17:57,804
after a hard day's work,
then that's your call.
437
00:17:57,872 --> 00:18:00,106
You're damn right it is.
438
00:18:01,242 --> 00:18:04,110
You know what? Maybe I did overreact.
439
00:18:04,178 --> 00:18:05,412
It's just I've always been
440
00:18:05,446 --> 00:18:09,049
the lion at the head
of the pride around here.
441
00:18:09,083 --> 00:18:11,618
And you start doing stuff
I'm supposed to be doing,
442
00:18:11,652 --> 00:18:14,587
and suddenly there's
a hyena in the pack.
443
00:18:14,622 --> 00:18:18,124
Wait. Wouldn't I just be
the... the young lion
444
00:18:18,159 --> 00:18:19,225
if you're the old lion?
445
00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:22,095
Why do I have to be the hyena?
446
00:18:22,129 --> 00:18:24,664
You just are.
447
00:18:24,698 --> 00:18:27,067
Here's what we're gonna do.
448
00:18:27,134 --> 00:18:31,905
From now on, I'm gonna try
to let you do most of the work,
449
00:18:31,972 --> 00:18:33,239
and I'll supervise.
450
00:18:33,274 --> 00:18:36,676
I'll be the old lion laying out
in the sun eating the antelope.
451
00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:38,812
[Chuckles] Well, that's a way.
452
00:18:38,846 --> 00:18:41,081
But I was thinking that
we could work together,
453
00:18:41,115 --> 00:18:42,348
and, that way, we both win.
454
00:18:42,416 --> 00:18:44,617
No. I'm gonna let you win.
455
00:18:44,652 --> 00:18:46,619
I'm gonna go ahead
and finish the closet,
456
00:18:46,687 --> 00:18:48,488
and I'm gonna let you do
457
00:18:48,556 --> 00:18:51,524
the thing I don't trust
anybody else to do.
458
00:18:51,559 --> 00:18:53,259
The roof.
459
00:18:53,294 --> 00:18:57,297
It's kind of bitter cold
and the roof is slippery.
460
00:18:57,331 --> 00:19:00,767
[Chuckling] You don't have to
say that to make me feel better.
461
00:19:00,801 --> 00:19:03,336
I've made my peace with this.
462
00:19:03,404 --> 00:19:04,637
Ah, let's see.
463
00:19:04,672 --> 00:19:07,073
Grab yourself a ladder,
bucket of sealer,
464
00:19:07,108 --> 00:19:09,976
and a rope to tie yourself
around the chimney.
465
00:19:11,245 --> 00:19:13,480
And fix the roof.
466
00:19:13,514 --> 00:19:15,849
It's pitch black. You want me
to go and do it right now?
467
00:19:15,883 --> 00:19:17,550
Oh, gosh, no!
468
00:19:17,585 --> 00:19:19,052
Make yourself a sandwich first.
469
00:19:19,086 --> 00:19:21,454
You could take it up there with you.
470
00:19:21,489 --> 00:19:24,157
?
471
00:19:24,225 --> 00:19:27,060
How'd it go? Is she gonna
get rid of that guy?
472
00:19:27,128 --> 00:19:29,496
[Sighs] Nope. Total fail.
473
00:19:29,530 --> 00:19:31,998
She's gonna hand him
her heart on a platter
474
00:19:32,032 --> 00:19:34,200
and let him eat it
with his silver spoon.
475
00:19:37,204 --> 00:19:40,273
And she basically told me that
she's got no use for me anymore.
476
00:19:40,307 --> 00:19:42,142
I'm keeping her from living her life,
477
00:19:42,176 --> 00:19:44,177
and she wants to feel her feelings.
478
00:19:44,211 --> 00:19:47,213
Oh, God. I remember that conversation.
479
00:19:47,248 --> 00:19:49,983
We never had that conversation.
480
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:51,351
No. We had it with Becky.
481
00:19:51,385 --> 00:19:53,219
You never wanted to feel anything,
482
00:19:53,254 --> 00:19:54,687
and we were good with that.
483
00:19:57,424 --> 00:20:00,426
God. This is so brutal, Dad.
484
00:20:00,494 --> 00:20:02,295
How do I just stand by
485
00:20:02,329 --> 00:20:04,831
and watch my kid walk into traffic?
486
00:20:04,865 --> 00:20:08,334
She's a strong kid. She'll be okay.
487
00:20:08,369 --> 00:20:10,203
Well, you know, if she thinks
488
00:20:10,237 --> 00:20:13,373
she's gonna come running
back to me heartbroken
489
00:20:13,407 --> 00:20:15,275
so I can love her up
490
00:20:15,342 --> 00:20:17,310
and tell her that
everything's gonna be okay,
491
00:20:17,344 --> 00:20:19,212
she's got another thing coming.
492
00:20:19,246 --> 00:20:22,015
Oh, she'll definitely come running back.
493
00:20:23,317 --> 00:20:24,551
You promise?
494
00:20:24,585 --> 00:20:26,219
Oh, yeah.
495
00:20:26,253 --> 00:20:27,120
Thanks.
496
00:20:27,154 --> 00:20:29,088
[Cellphone chimes]
497
00:20:32,593 --> 00:20:35,461
Did you call Ben a hyena?
498
00:20:35,496 --> 00:20:37,697
I thought he should know.
499
00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:42,444
So, how are your parents?
500
00:20:42,493 --> 00:20:45,362
I saw they're vacationing separately.
501
00:20:46,149 --> 00:20:49,093
Stop. Can't you see
you're embarrassing Josh?
502
00:20:49,118 --> 00:20:50,828
He didn't come here to be grilled.
503
00:20:50,853 --> 00:20:53,955
He came here to keep it real
with some po' folk, right, Josh?
504
00:20:54,031 --> 00:20:56,499
Hey, Harris, go grab me
a little moonshine
505
00:20:56,534 --> 00:20:58,902
outta the garage for your peepaw.
506
00:20:59,169 --> 00:21:02,304
Sure. Don't take any crap from them.
507
00:21:02,372 --> 00:21:03,773
[Dan chuckling]
508
00:21:03,841 --> 00:21:06,843
You have a nice smile, son.
509
00:21:06,911 --> 00:21:09,746
Hard to do that without a head.
510
00:21:09,814 --> 00:21:12,782
If the time comes when you
and my granddaughter break up,
511
00:21:13,144 --> 00:21:15,418
you better treat her right.
512
00:21:15,878 --> 00:21:18,121
To show you I'm not
just a vengeful old guy,
513
00:21:18,155 --> 00:21:19,889
I'll give you a piece of advice.
514
00:21:19,924 --> 00:21:21,424
Keep those two out of your house.
515
00:21:21,482 --> 00:21:23,783
They're after your father.
[Clicks tongue]
516
00:21:23,833 --> 00:21:28,383
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