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S01xE32 - "Fusion Cuisine"
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
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Doctor, it's my son.
There was an accident. I ...
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- I know what we have to do. Nurse!
- Yes, doctor?
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Prep the patient for emergency
surgery. We're gonna go...
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- under the knife.
- Ugh! This show is so good!
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Thank you so much for letting me
watch "Under the knife" here, Steven.
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- How come you can't watch the show at home?
- My mom says this doesn't
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represent a real emergency room.
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How did his legs...
get into... his brain?!
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She just doesn't
understand that it's satire.
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- Is that your phone?
- It's probably my mom. Called it.
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Hi, mother. It's Connie.
Mm-hmm. Yes, ma'am.
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I'm at the home of
Steven Universe. Mm-hmm.
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Yes, ma'am. We're ...
we're just hanging out.
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Oh. Steven's parents.
They're, uh ...
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they're in the other room.
You would like to talk to
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Steven's mom?
Oh, okay. Hold on a moment.
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That's gonna be
pretty hard since my mom
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gave up her physical form to make me.
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I can't tell her that.
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Garnet, quick ... you have to pretend
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- to be my mom to Connie's mom.
- Hello.
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This... is mom Universe.
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Yes. The children are playing swords.
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Sorry ... playing with
swords. They're bleeding.
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Oh, no. They are dead.
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Don't call again.
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Sorry. I panicked.
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What do you mean,
your mom won't let you come over?
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It's the midseason pre-finale
of "Under the knife"!
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Steven, my parents are really upset.
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They say the will not let me
see you again until they meet
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- both of your parents in person.
- But that's impossible!
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I know, but they want both
of our families to go out
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- together for dinner.
- It sounds so... adult.
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I wonder if Fish Stew pizza
will take reservations for ...
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- Pearl, Garnet, dad, Amethyst ... all eight of us.
- You can't bring everybody!
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- Why not?
- Because ... because... I told my parents
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- you have a nuclear family.
- Nuclear?! Sure, they make stuff blow up
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sometimes, but that's because
they're magic, not radioactive!
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Steven, "nuclear" means two adults
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and their child and/or children.
My parents think you live with
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- your mother and father.
- But none of that is true.
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You never told your mom and
dad about the Crystal Gems?
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No, and it has to stay that way.
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If they find out I lied to them,
they'll never let me
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hang out with you again.
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How am I supposed to choose
just one of you to bring to dinner?
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- You're all so... cool!
- Why does it have to be dinner?
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We get all the energy
we need from our gems,
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and while our human constructs
are capable of eating,
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- I find it very uncomfortable.
- I love eating!
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Feels weird.
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Okay, okay, okay. Let's focus.
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Which of you would make the
best and most nuclear mom?
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Garnet, you keep us safe by
scaring off the bad guys,
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just like a mom would.
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But you're not the
best conversationalist.
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Amethyst, you would be a
superfun mom!
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- Can moms be gross?
- Why not?
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Pearl! You're
always worried about me, you
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teach me lots of stuff, you're
approachable, and you're,
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- like, totally not gross.
- Uh...
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But you can't eat dinner.
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Man, why did Connie
have to say I have one
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- mother instead of zero... or three?
- We'll figure this thing out.
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We just have to put our heads together.
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Why didn't I
think of this before?
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It's so obvious! You can
all come to dinner ...
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- all three of you, fused into one!
- What?!
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- Whoa!
- What?
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Steven, you know we
only fuse in deadly situations!
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It'd be like ... like I'm
actually bringing my whole family!
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- That's insane.
- Fusion is serious magic,
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- not a trick for dinner parties.
- I know.
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Then I guess this is it.
I'll never get to see Connie again.
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Oh, Connie! I'll never know a
star that shines as bright as you.
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We have no choice.
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We've been waiting for nearly
20 minutes.
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- Uh... oh.
- Hi, Connie!
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Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Maheswaran!
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- Thanks... honeybuns.
- You're welcome... Greg.
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I'm Greg Universe.
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And this massive drink of
water is my wife, Alexandrite.
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Hi-i-i-i-i-i.
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I hope this place has
unlimited breadsticks.
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Don't be rude.
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Bleh.
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Isn't my wife a riot?
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So, tell me ... how did you two meet?
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- Huh? How did we meet? Well, we, um ...
- They met on a roller coaster!
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- She was too tall to ride!
- Uh...
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I remember it like it was
yesterday. Right, honey?
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- Eh... sorry.
- Have some more breadsticks... dear.
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What is it that you two do
for a living, Mr. and Mrs. Universe?
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Well, you see, I own a local car
wash, and my sweet, dear wife here ...
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My mom works on an apple farm!
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- What did we say about heads on the table?
- She uses all her arms
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to pick apples out of huge trees.
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Well, you know what they say ...
an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
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- Yes. I hate doctors.
- Well, I'm a doctor.
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Steven, help me find the restroom!
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Things are going
pretty good so far, huh?
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Steven, are you kidding me?!
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What is this thing that
you brought to dinner?!
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It ... it's my family.
It's all the gems
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fused together into a
six-armed, giant woman.
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- Why couldn't you just bring one of the gems?
- 'Cause that would
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- be a lie. Your glasses.
- What about them?
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I healed your eyes. You
don't even need to wear those anymore.
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- What are you talking about?
- All that stuff you told your parents
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- about my family ... you're just ashamed of me!
- Oh, whatever, Steven.
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Let's just focus on
getting through the evening.
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So, Steven was telling
me that on his mom's apple
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farm, they're bioengineering
a gala-fuji hybrid.
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- Definitely true.
- Isn't that right, Mrs. Universe?
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Ugh! What are you doing?
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- I'm hungry!
- I don't think so. Cut it out, you two.
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Stop! You don't have to eat it!
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Steven!
Ohh. Thank you so much.
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You don't know how horrified
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it was when that dreck
nearly fell into our mouths.
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Eating food is so
disgusting! You chew it into
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nasty mush, swallow
that goop, and it comes
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out of you? What a
completely horrid experience!
127
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:04,803
Uh, speak for yourself.
Ha! I love it when mush
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- passes through my body.
- It doesn't matter what you two think.
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We're doing this for Steven!
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What is going on here?
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- Who are they?!
- I knew I should have trusted
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my bad feelings about
this new friend of yours, but
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I never thought I wouldn't be
able to trust my own daughter.
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Connie!
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Connie.
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Steven, I'm so sorry.
It's not that I'm ashamed of you.
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I was so worried that my parents would
think all this magic stuff is weird.
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What if they don't let me hang
out with you anymore?
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I-I'm sorry I messed everything up.
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I wish there was a way we could
just hang out without
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- having to worry about stuff.
- Steven, let's just hop on a bus
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- and live somewhere else without telling anyone!
- That's a great idea!
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- Where's this bus taking us?
- Wherever we end up.
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00:09:02,785 --> 00:09:05,838
We'll find a way to survive. I've
been reading about sustainable living.
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00:09:05,930 --> 00:09:09,957
- Maybe it'll take us to a real apple farm!
- What's up with you
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- and apples today?
- Huh?
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Steve-e-e-n!
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You two, come
out of that bus, this instant!
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Okay!
J-just put the bus down first.
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I don't even know where to begin
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- with you, young la...
- What were you thinking,
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running off with Connie like that?
You could have gotten
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- yourselves hurt!
- Or gotten mangled in traffic.
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- Or thrown in prison.
- Steven, you are in very big trouble,
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- and we have no choice but to punish you.
- But...
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- No dinner for 1,000 years.
- 1,000?
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We would never starve you,
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00:09:52,686 --> 00:09:56,864
but you will lose your TV
privileges... for 1,000 years.
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00:09:56,942 --> 00:10:01,176
No! The midseason
pre-finale of "Under the knife"!
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00:10:01,222 --> 00:10:04,273
How can you do this to me?!
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Because we love you, Steven.
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Wow. That was a masterful use of
the "because we love you" shutdown.
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00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:15,796
I'm quite partial to the
"it's for your own good" myself.
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00:10:15,797 --> 00:10:20,552
That "1,000 years of no dinner" bit...
was pretty funny.
165
00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:24,242
All comedy is derived from fear.
166
00:10:24,450 --> 00:10:27,892
- You are too much.
- I did not know what to make
167
00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:30,188
of the two of ...
excuse me ... four of you,
168
00:10:30,256 --> 00:10:33,631
but I see that you are
responsible parents ...
169
00:10:33,696 --> 00:10:35,963
uh, caregivers? Guardians.
170
00:10:35,964 --> 00:10:39,364
So, I can still hang out with Steven?
171
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- Sure.
- All right!
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00:10:44,270 --> 00:10:47,091
Uh...
173
00:10:47,532 --> 00:10:50,541
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
174
00:10:50,591 --> 00:10:55,141
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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