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1
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? We are the Crystal Gems ?
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? we'll always save the day ?
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? and if you think we can't ?
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? we'll always find a way ?
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- that's why the people
- of this world
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- believe in...
- Garnet
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- Amethyst
- and Pearl
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? And Steven! ?
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S01xE21 - "Joking Victim"
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
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Hey, Steven! Do you
want to try some special,
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- new french fries?
- Do I?!
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- Hooooot!
- They're "special"
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because they're seasoned with fire salt!
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Steven, what are you ...
Ow!
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Sowwy, Lars.
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Ugh. Steven, who do you think
has to clean up this mess?
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- Sadie, clean up this mess.
- No way! It's your turn!
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- I cleaned the last five Stevens!
- Aw, come on!
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That fall messed up my back!
It hurts really bad.
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Fine. Move aside. I'll take care of this.
Can you grab the soap?
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Ohh! It hurts so much!
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Maybe you should take the day off.
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- Okay! You gonna be fine on your own?
- Well, I guess so, but...
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- You're the best, player 2!
- Aww.
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- Uh, I can't run this place by myself!
- I could help!
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This place has given me
so many delicious donuts.
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- It's time I gave back.
- I hereby deputize you as "Lars for the day."
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- Now, it's time I showed you the employee room.
- Whoa.
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This is the most magical
place I've ever seen!
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Let me give you the tour.
These are the extra supplies,
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cups, plastic silverware.
Sometimes I sleep on the napkins
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- when I get tired.
- Is that why they're called nap-kins?
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Not really, no. Good joke, though.
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On breaks, we chill out
here. We can even watch tv!
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Sometimes, Lars will cover for
me so I can watch "canine court."
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And now, most important of
all, this is where we store the donuts.
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They're mailed in from some
corporate bake-station.
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- You mean you don't make them here?
- No, not since... the accident.
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Now, Steven, this job is a big
responsibility, so you're gonna
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- have to watch this videotape.
- What is it?
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It's like a dvd shaped
like a box, and it'll tell you
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everything you need to know.
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Mr. Smiley used to work here?
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No, but he used to
be an actor/R&B singer.
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? Donuts at the big donut ?
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? they make the world go round, ?
? A treat when you are down ?
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? Donuts ... Wow! ...
at the big donut ... Bam! ?
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? dunk them in coffee or tea,
napkins are always free ?
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? now, if a customer chokes on a donut ?
51
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? that ain't right. ?
? state law requires that you assist them ?
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? help 'em out, now. ?
53
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? take both hands, push
below the diaphragm ?
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00:03:15,598 --> 00:03:19,578
? get them happy and
breathing as fast as you can ?
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? That's the law. ?
? in the event of a fire ?
56
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? don't panic. Stay calm. ?
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? there is a fire extinguisher
against the back wall ?
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? there is a 6% sales
tax on edible goods ?
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? 'cause tax exemption is
for non-prepared foods ?
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? ...in coffee or tea,
napkins are always free ?
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? free, free ?
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That was great! Are
all videotapes that informative?
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In my experience, yeah.
It started out as just a summer
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job, but that was two summers ago.
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Hmm. I'll have a...
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- Donuts, at the big donut
- Hey!
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? they make the world go round ?
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Wow. I can't believe you used
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00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:07,322
- to be a real actor/R&B singer.
- "Used to be"?
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- Kids, they don't know anything.
- Wow, I'm impressed!
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Last time
someone mentioned that
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song, we couldn't get
Mr. Smiley to go home.
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? to perk up, you gotta percolate ?
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00:04:16,415 --> 00:04:19,567
? a hot cup of coffee
makes the perfect date ?
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Aww, thanks!
Maybe I should phone up Lars,
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tell him he can stay home 'cause
I found his replacement!
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- Really?!
- Oh. No, th-that was a joke.
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I know we both love Lars...
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but this job is the best
thing that's ever happened to
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- me, and we should fire Lars.
- We can't "fire Lars."
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- Why not?
- Well, you know, I mean, he
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may do things like come
in late and leave all the
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really hard work for me,
but ... look, I like Lars!
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He ... he's a nice guy...
Once you get to know him.
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There was this one time ... the new
"army of war" game was coming out.
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But Lars was banned from the
only place selling it.
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He wanted it so bad!
88
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So who does he beg to stand
in line for seven hours?
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Me!
I didn't think much of it.
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When I got to his house, I
saw he cleaned up his room
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a little, and he got a
big box of oyster crackers.
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They're my favorite.
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He let me be his "player 2," and
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- we spent the whole night together.
- That really is nice.
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- Must've been one great video game!
- Yeah, it was.
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Maybe we could do
something nice for Lars.
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? Donuts, d-d-donuts ?
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? donuts, donuts, donuts,
donuts, donuts, donuts ?
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I-I thought you wanted
this to be a surprise!
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He would hear us a mile away!
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But the donut
fever's fried my soul! Huh?
102
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Aw, he already ordered pizza!
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Huh?
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- Do a flip!
- Oh, yeah!
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Hey, Lars, thanks for inviting us over.
106
00:06:05,186 --> 00:06:07,809
It's no problem...
'cause I got the whole day off
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00:06:07,877 --> 00:06:11,746
by faking a severe back injury!
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Ugh! He was
faking this whole ...
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Uh, don't worry!
We can handle the big donut!
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Who needs crummy, old Lars?
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Steven, he's made a fool of me!
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Idiot!
He's burned me before.
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Just once, I'd like to burn him back!
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I know how to burn people!
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Wait right here. Actually,
this might take a while.
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You'd better go home.
See you tomorrow at wo-o-o-rk!
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- Fire salt!
- Huh?
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Burn! Burn people!
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You know we can't add
anything to the donuts!
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It's just a little fire salt.
I was going to prank Lars.
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00:07:01,764 --> 00:07:05,667
He did really hurt my
feelings... a little.
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00:07:05,734 --> 00:07:07,590
But what kind of person does that
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make you if you try to hurt him back?
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A... hero?
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My back! Sadie, I
finally got out of bed,
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but I don't think I
can work today either.
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Sadie, don't make me walk
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all the way to the break room!
129
00:07:28,023 --> 00:07:32,326
Sadie...
This is gonna be so funny!
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00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:36,868
Yo, Sadie, where you at?
Are you slacking off?
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00:07:36,869 --> 00:07:39,300
- Lars.
- Hi, Lars!
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00:07:39,368 --> 00:07:42,870
- Why is Steven in a donut suit?
- Don't worry about that.
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00:07:42,938 --> 00:07:46,040
- How's your back?
- Uh, actually, it still hurts like ...
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- Really.
- No, no, it's cool. I know I can
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- count on you to help, "P" 2.
- Sure. Just relax. In fact...
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- Why don't you have a donut?
- Yeah, all right.
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Careful. It's a little hot.
138
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:06,094
Hey, this is pretty good.
139
00:08:06,095 --> 00:08:08,947
This a new flavor or something?
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00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:14,073
She said ... she said it's hot!
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00:08:20,075 --> 00:08:25,546
- Steven, help Lars!
- Uh, Lars, drink this!
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00:08:28,614 --> 00:08:30,251
No! Lars, come back!
143
00:08:32,371 --> 00:08:36,507
- Steven, I didn't want this!
- I know how to fix this!
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00:08:36,592 --> 00:08:38,843
We just need to get Lars to calm down.
145
00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:42,633
How are we gonna find him?!
146
00:08:42,668 --> 00:08:44,638
I think he went this way!
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And of the many
treasures in our wonderful
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city, this is certainly
one of the sweetest.
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00:08:50,609 --> 00:08:52,919
As mayor, I'm proud to unveil this ...
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the largest bowl of ice
cream in Beach County!
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00:08:56,421 --> 00:09:01,816
Yes, let's all scream... for ice cream.
152
00:09:07,857 --> 00:09:10,258
Yeah. It melted, Gary!
153
00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:14,929
Well, you should have said
that at the meeting!
154
00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:18,918
- Amethyst!
- Hey, why's donut guy breathing fire?
155
00:09:18,953 --> 00:09:21,636
I tried to prank Lars,
but I used too much fire salt!
156
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:26,057
Steven...
That's hilarious.
157
00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:32,248
You... did... this... to me?
158
00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:37,684
It wasn't Steven!
159
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:42,240
- It was me.
- Oh, now it's gettin' good!
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00:09:42,324 --> 00:09:44,789
After all I do for you,
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you lie to me so you can sneak off
162
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:53,155
- with some other girl?!
- And other boys!
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00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:56,432
That night we played
video games, I don't know what it
164
00:09:56,433 --> 00:10:00,498
meant to you, but ever since
then, I can't get the thought out
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00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:03,903
of my head that you're a good person.
166
00:10:05,642 --> 00:10:08,121
That night I really thought ...
167
00:10:08,122 --> 00:10:12,737
"player 2" ... is that just your
way of saying I could
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00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:15,857
- have been anyone?
- Sadi...
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00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:19,079
? if a customer chokes on a donut ?
170
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,105
? state law requires
that you assist them ?
171
00:10:22,106 --> 00:10:27,094
? take both hands, push
below the diaphragm ?
172
00:10:31,373 --> 00:10:35,318
Another day saved
by Steven Universe, with the
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00:10:35,319 --> 00:10:39,263
bonus musical stylings of
Harold Smiley. You're welcome!
174
00:10:45,053 --> 00:10:50,641
- I'm not apologizing.
- Uh, no! I want to help!
175
00:10:50,726 --> 00:10:55,490
- But I get it if you want to be alone.
- Oh, no, no, no! Stay.
176
00:10:55,525 --> 00:10:59,192
I-I mean, you can help. But
first, let's get you some
177
00:10:59,193 --> 00:11:02,588
water, and maybe get you
out of those burnt shirts.
178
00:11:03,126 --> 00:11:06,724
Hey, we make a pretty great team.
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00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:09,577
You were absolutely
no help whatsoever.
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Eh.
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
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