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BOW: My parents did everything
normal parents did.
2
00:00:02,968 --> 00:00:04,835
And when the prince
finally climbed the tower,
3
00:00:04,906 --> 00:00:06,765
the princess said, "Thanks, buddy,
4
00:00:06,820 --> 00:00:07,851
but I don't need your help."
5
00:00:07,914 --> 00:00:11,043
"And from that day on,
they shared responsibilities
6
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:14,271
and lived happily and equally
ever after."
7
00:00:14,366 --> 00:00:15,568
Psych!
8
00:00:15,661 --> 00:00:19,936
My parents always had to be
as progressive as possible.
9
00:00:21,099 --> 00:00:22,819
- Hey, guys.
- Hi!
10
00:00:22,905 --> 00:00:25,835
Guess what. We were approached
at the mall by a stranger.
11
00:00:25,937 --> 00:00:28,359
- What?
- At first, I thought it was a kidnapping,
12
00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:30,273
because... look at me.
13
00:00:30,375 --> 00:00:32,488
It was a recruiter for a beauty pageant,
14
00:00:32,535 --> 00:00:34,777
and they want us to be in it.
15
00:00:34,848 --> 00:00:37,682
Which also makes sense,
because look at me.
16
00:00:37,784 --> 00:00:39,651
DENISE: So clear your schedule, sis.
17
00:00:39,753 --> 00:00:40,985
- The prize is $40.
- ALICIA: Mm.
18
00:00:41,087 --> 00:00:42,420
I'm-a need my cut.
19
00:00:42,522 --> 00:00:45,390
[Scoffs] Why would you assume
Alicia would take them?
20
00:00:45,492 --> 00:00:46,891
Yeah, just because I'm a woman,
21
00:00:46,993 --> 00:00:49,594
I'm the only one
who can take girls to a pageant?
22
00:00:49,696 --> 00:00:51,562
What is this, 1983?
23
00:00:51,665 --> 00:00:53,865
This may be new to you,
but we don't make decisions
24
00:00:53,967 --> 00:00:55,266
- based on gender.
- Mm-hmm.
25
00:00:55,368 --> 00:00:57,268
You know, back on the commune,
it was a gender-neutral...
26
00:00:57,370 --> 00:00:59,337
- So you not coming?
- No.
27
00:00:59,439 --> 00:01:02,373
I'm taking Johan to test
for his white belt in karate.
28
00:01:02,475 --> 00:01:06,261
You guys are letting a woman
take him to a dojo?
29
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,222
[Sighs]
30
00:01:07,247 --> 00:01:08,840
Which one of you did the breastfeeding?
31
00:01:08,925 --> 00:01:10,248
Depends on which kid.
32
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[Exhales sharply]
33
00:01:12,318 --> 00:01:13,317
♪ In the mix ♪
34
00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:15,720
♪ Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying ♪
35
00:01:15,822 --> 00:01:18,022
♪ But they can't stop us ♪
36
00:01:18,124 --> 00:01:20,391
♪ 'Cause we got a love ♪
37
00:01:20,493 --> 00:01:22,727
♪ That keeps rising up ♪
38
00:01:22,829 --> 00:01:23,961
♪ In the mix ♪
39
00:01:24,064 --> 00:01:25,663
♪ Life turns around ♪
40
00:01:25,765 --> 00:01:27,231
♪ 'Round and 'round it goes ♪
41
00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:30,057
♪ Ooh, it's a mixed-up world ♪
♪ Ooh, it's a mixed-up ♪
42
00:01:30,119 --> 00:01:31,602
♪ And that's for sure ♪
♪ Mixed-up ♪
43
00:01:31,705 --> 00:01:33,337
♪ In the mix ♪
♪ Baby ♪
44
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:34,976
♪ We're gonna get by ♪
45
00:01:35,047 --> 00:01:37,453
♪ We're gonna ♪
♪ On our own, side by side ♪
46
00:01:37,523 --> 00:01:40,078
♪ Love's all we need to be free ♪
♪ Lo-o-o-ve is all ♪
47
00:01:40,211 --> 00:01:42,404
♪ I got you, you got me ♪
48
00:01:42,482 --> 00:01:44,779
♪ Yaaaaay us! ♪
49
00:01:44,852 --> 00:01:46,833
♪ I-I-In the mix ♪
50
00:01:46,904 --> 00:01:49,466
♪ Yaaaaay us! ♪
51
00:01:49,521 --> 00:01:52,123
♪ I-I-In the mix-ish ♪
52
00:01:52,225 --> 00:01:55,754
So, she's taking your son to the dojo
53
00:01:55,832 --> 00:01:59,564
and you're taking the girls
to the pageant?
54
00:01:59,666 --> 00:02:01,799
You don't see gender,
we know you don't see race,
55
00:02:01,901 --> 00:02:05,020
and, uh, based on that shirt,
you obviously don't see fashion.
56
00:02:05,105 --> 00:02:06,604
[Chuckles]
57
00:02:06,706 --> 00:02:08,005
We see humanity.
58
00:02:08,108 --> 00:02:10,174
We see the good in everyone. Even you.
59
00:02:10,276 --> 00:02:11,895
Then I'm sending the wrong signals.
60
00:02:11,973 --> 00:02:13,911
Look, you can't ignore gender.
61
00:02:14,013 --> 00:02:16,114
There's a boys' bathroom
and a girls' bathroom.
62
00:02:16,216 --> 00:02:18,916
And as long as there is breath
in my lungs,
63
00:02:19,018 --> 00:02:20,451
there will never be a third option.
64
00:02:20,553 --> 00:02:22,487
In his defense, Granddad died
65
00:02:22,589 --> 00:02:24,155
before there was a third option.
66
00:02:24,257 --> 00:02:27,191
At least you're finally letting
the girls do something girly!
67
00:02:27,293 --> 00:02:29,127
This is gonna be so fun, sis!
68
00:02:29,229 --> 00:02:31,129
Again, Paul's taking them.
69
00:02:31,231 --> 00:02:32,597
But I don't like Paul.
70
00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:34,899
Look, sometimes girls need their moms
71
00:02:35,001 --> 00:02:36,601
instead of their dads.
72
00:02:36,703 --> 00:02:38,569
Why would we listen to either of you?
73
00:02:38,671 --> 00:02:40,171
- Mm.
- You don't even have kids.
74
00:02:40,273 --> 00:02:41,506
- That I know of.
- Mm.
75
00:02:41,608 --> 00:02:45,348
And do you really think
you did a good job raising Paul?
76
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:48,513
♪♪
77
00:02:48,615 --> 00:02:50,448
I'm sorry. Just...
78
00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:52,150
I was trying to hurt Harrison.
79
00:02:53,186 --> 00:02:54,352
Did I hurt you?
80
00:02:54,454 --> 00:02:57,021
Can't hurt me. I'm woman-proof.
81
00:02:57,123 --> 00:02:59,557
- She hurt you.
- Mm-hmm.
82
00:03:00,794 --> 00:03:03,494
I can't believe we're going to
be in a beauty pageant.
83
00:03:03,596 --> 00:03:05,897
Are you sure that lady
wasn't just talking to me?
84
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,900
If you're wondering
why this pageant thing
85
00:03:09,002 --> 00:03:10,501
was so exciting to me,
86
00:03:10,603 --> 00:03:12,103
it's because my progressive parents
87
00:03:12,205 --> 00:03:15,439
didn't want us girls to be
raised to only value our looks.
88
00:03:16,676 --> 00:03:17,975
- Aww!
- ALICIA: Ohh!
89
00:03:18,077 --> 00:03:19,710
Don't you look smart.
90
00:03:19,813 --> 00:03:23,447
Like a woman who knows how
to balance her own checkbook.
91
00:03:23,550 --> 00:03:25,616
I understand where
they were coming from now,
92
00:03:25,718 --> 00:03:29,921
but when I was 12,
I just wanted to feel pretty.
93
00:03:30,023 --> 00:03:31,322
What if I win?
94
00:03:31,424 --> 00:03:33,257
Against me?
95
00:03:33,359 --> 00:03:35,593
[Laughing]
96
00:03:38,665 --> 00:03:41,342
And people wonder why we aren't close.
97
00:03:41,428 --> 00:03:43,534
[Laughing continues]
98
00:03:43,636 --> 00:03:45,369
[Indistinct conversations]
99
00:03:45,471 --> 00:03:47,505
♪♪
100
00:03:47,607 --> 00:03:48,606
RAINBOW: Wow.
101
00:03:48,708 --> 00:03:51,475
Everyone's so... glamorous.
102
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,781
If I ever run away from home
to come here,
103
00:03:56,883 --> 00:03:58,516
don't try and find me.
104
00:04:00,019 --> 00:04:01,652
Hold on. Wait a second.
105
00:04:01,754 --> 00:04:03,688
Aren't all these girls a little
young to be wearing makeup?
106
00:04:03,790 --> 00:04:05,690
Paul, it's a beauty pageant.
107
00:04:05,792 --> 00:04:07,959
Yeah, but what about
natural beauty? Or inner beauty?
108
00:04:08,061 --> 00:04:09,727
Right, 'cause men buy the Swimsuit Issue
109
00:04:09,829 --> 00:04:10,995
for the natural beauty.
110
00:04:11,097 --> 00:04:13,364
I'm just saying, you'd never
catch Eleanor Roosevelt
111
00:04:13,466 --> 00:04:15,967
or Susan B. Anthony
prancing around in a swimsuit.
112
00:04:16,069 --> 00:04:18,803
Imagine where their careers
would've gone if they had.
113
00:04:18,905 --> 00:04:20,638
I just don't want to teach my daughters
114
00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:23,040
that beauty defines their self-worth.
115
00:04:23,142 --> 00:04:24,742
Pageants are a good thing.
116
00:04:24,844 --> 00:04:26,677
I did a few myself back in high school.
117
00:04:26,779 --> 00:04:29,614
I even won Miss Black Awareness 1960.
118
00:04:29,716 --> 00:04:31,616
- [Camera shutter clicks]
- It helped me break out of my shell.
119
00:04:31,718 --> 00:04:34,652
I learned poise, confidence,
and presence.
120
00:04:34,754 --> 00:04:37,822
It was a springboard
to my career in aerospace.
121
00:04:37,924 --> 00:04:39,824
- Aerospace?
- Mm-hmm.
122
00:04:39,926 --> 00:04:41,859
- You're a baggage handler.
- Mm-hmm.
123
00:04:43,329 --> 00:04:44,662
All right, I'll just keep my mouth shut,
124
00:04:44,764 --> 00:04:46,697
but this just doesn't feel
like the kind of thing
125
00:04:46,799 --> 00:04:48,566
my daughters should be doing.
126
00:04:48,668 --> 00:04:50,368
Pageants are for pretty people.
127
00:04:50,470 --> 00:04:51,802
You wouldn't understand.
128
00:04:51,905 --> 00:04:52,870
Well...
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00:04:52,972 --> 00:05:00,678
♪♪
130
00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:02,280
Wow, with a name like Bob Lee,
131
00:05:02,382 --> 00:05:05,416
I was expecting him to be a...
[Vocalizing Asian music]
132
00:05:05,518 --> 00:05:07,118
Harrison, you can't say that.
133
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,754
The proper term is "Oriental."
134
00:05:09,856 --> 00:05:13,324
Saying "Oriental" in 1985
was actually "woke."
135
00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:16,360
[Yells]
136
00:05:16,462 --> 00:05:19,931
Honestly, the hardest part of karate
137
00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:21,851
is staying humble.
138
00:05:21,944 --> 00:05:26,552
It is a constant struggle
not to let it go to your head
139
00:05:26,639 --> 00:05:30,508
that you are the baddest man
in every room.
140
00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:32,743
For example...
141
00:05:32,845 --> 00:05:36,414
I could destroy that man
right there... easily.
142
00:05:36,516 --> 00:05:38,049
I wouldn't even break a sweat.
143
00:05:38,151 --> 00:05:41,452
And I would take parts of him
home in my pocket.
144
00:05:41,554 --> 00:05:44,555
- Do you know if they offer adult classes?
- Mm.
145
00:05:44,657 --> 00:05:47,200
When I am done training you boys,
146
00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:50,995
you will have to clean
your rooms out of respect,
147
00:05:51,097 --> 00:05:54,749
because your fathers won't be
strong enough to make you.
148
00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:57,234
[Laughs]
149
00:05:57,337 --> 00:05:59,070
Hyah!
150
00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:01,105
Now, who's ready to break some boards?!
151
00:06:01,207 --> 00:06:02,573
Johan, you're up. Here we go.
152
00:06:02,675 --> 00:06:04,308
Sir, yes, sir!
153
00:06:05,712 --> 00:06:06,978
[Exhales sharply]
154
00:06:08,414 --> 00:06:09,547
[Grunts]
155
00:06:09,649 --> 00:06:10,881
Again!
156
00:06:12,585 --> 00:06:13,584
[Grunts]
157
00:06:13,686 --> 00:06:14,919
Is your hand broken?
158
00:06:15,021 --> 00:06:16,053
I hope not.
159
00:06:16,155 --> 00:06:17,788
Then again!
160
00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:18,990
[Grunts]
161
00:06:19,058 --> 00:06:19,991
[Crying]
162
00:06:20,093 --> 00:06:21,125
[Sighs]
163
00:06:22,495 --> 00:06:24,028
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
164
00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:25,129
What are you doing?
165
00:06:25,231 --> 00:06:27,031
You can't cry in the dojo.
166
00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:28,833
Of course he can.
He can cry wherever he wants.
167
00:06:28,935 --> 00:06:30,401
It's okay. Let it out.
168
00:06:30,503 --> 00:06:32,069
No. Leave it in.
169
00:06:32,171 --> 00:06:34,839
Don't you make him feel bad
about expressing himself.
170
00:06:34,941 --> 00:06:35,973
No, no, trust me.
171
00:06:36,075 --> 00:06:37,508
I'm not gonna make him feel bad.
172
00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:39,043
They are.
173
00:06:39,145 --> 00:06:40,511
[Laughter]
174
00:06:40,613 --> 00:06:42,747
[Sniffles]
175
00:06:42,849 --> 00:06:45,916
[Duran Duran's "Girls on Film" plays]
176
00:06:47,954 --> 00:06:49,186
DENISE: Isn't this exciting?
177
00:06:49,288 --> 00:06:52,556
Santamonica just learned
to put Vaseline on her teeth.
178
00:06:52,658 --> 00:06:54,425
What... What does that do?
179
00:06:54,527 --> 00:06:55,926
So you don't get stick-lip.
180
00:06:56,963 --> 00:06:58,696
You know... when your lips
stick to your teeth
181
00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:00,598
from smiling so much.
182
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,233
Do you even hear yourself?
183
00:07:02,335 --> 00:07:05,036
Woman complain
about getting body complexes
184
00:07:05,138 --> 00:07:06,904
and eating disorders
from beauty magazines.
185
00:07:07,006 --> 00:07:08,372
Where do you think all that starts?
186
00:07:08,474 --> 00:07:11,242
I don't know, but you should get
a better attitude.
187
00:07:11,344 --> 00:07:14,045
One of these girls is gonna
grow up to be your stepmom.
188
00:07:14,147 --> 00:07:16,080
♪ Girls on film ♪
189
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,583
♪ Girls on film ♪
190
00:07:21,421 --> 00:07:23,154
♪ Girls on film ♪
191
00:07:23,256 --> 00:07:24,555
My dad might have hated it,
192
00:07:24,657 --> 00:07:28,025
but I was so excited to be part
of this new world...
193
00:07:28,127 --> 00:07:30,094
even though I didn't know
what I was doing.
194
00:07:30,196 --> 00:07:32,430
She gets it from her auntie.
195
00:07:32,532 --> 00:07:35,199
I was Miss Black Awareness 1960.
196
00:07:35,301 --> 00:07:36,600
But you knew that already.
197
00:07:36,702 --> 00:07:38,135
[Sighs]
198
00:07:38,237 --> 00:07:39,804
Hey, look.
199
00:07:39,906 --> 00:07:41,172
DENISE: Oh, good job, baby.
200
00:07:41,274 --> 00:07:43,007
Ooh! Look at her walk!
201
00:07:43,109 --> 00:07:46,777
Wait, wait. T-That's
an accomplishment in this place?
202
00:07:46,879 --> 00:07:48,245
Walking?
203
00:07:48,347 --> 00:07:49,713
Great job, honey!
204
00:07:49,816 --> 00:07:52,917
Walk on those stick shoes
that some man invented
205
00:07:53,019 --> 00:07:55,486
to keep women from running away!
206
00:07:55,588 --> 00:07:56,987
Sir, is there a problem?
207
00:07:57,090 --> 00:07:59,256
You know what? There is.
208
00:07:59,358 --> 00:08:00,991
What are you teaching these girls?
209
00:08:01,094 --> 00:08:03,194
Um, to love themselves
and their community?
210
00:08:03,296 --> 00:08:04,995
Ah, a community that glorifies
211
00:08:05,098 --> 00:08:08,265
unrealistic beauty standards
and superficial talents?
212
00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:11,202
Let me guess, you think dancing
with a ribbon is a talent
213
00:08:11,304 --> 00:08:13,537
but science isn't a talent.
214
00:08:13,639 --> 00:08:15,072
Because it's not a talent.
215
00:08:15,174 --> 00:08:16,367
You can't watch science.
216
00:08:16,421 --> 00:08:17,554
- [Scoffs]
- Exactly!
217
00:08:17,609 --> 00:08:19,977
"Ooh! Science just went on tour.
218
00:08:20,079 --> 00:08:22,580
Can you get me backstage
to meet science?"
219
00:08:22,682 --> 00:08:25,916
How am I the only person here
who cares about women?
220
00:08:27,987 --> 00:08:29,887
You know, my daughters
don't belong here.
221
00:08:29,949 --> 00:08:31,971
Santi, Rainbow, we're leaving.
222
00:08:33,392 --> 00:08:35,392
Uh, okay...
223
00:08:35,495 --> 00:08:38,963
I did not want to go,
but maybe my Dad was right.
224
00:08:39,041 --> 00:08:40,567
Maybe this wasn't for me.
225
00:08:41,601 --> 00:08:43,134
If you want me to leave,
226
00:08:43,236 --> 00:08:45,636
you're gonna have to drag me out
kicking and screaming.
227
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,873
No! No! No! No! No!
228
00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:51,208
Hey, this isn't my dad!
229
00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:53,511
[Grunting]
230
00:08:53,613 --> 00:08:55,312
I don't know who this man is!
231
00:08:55,414 --> 00:08:56,313
[Laughs]
232
00:08:56,415 --> 00:08:58,428
[Grunting] Put me down!
233
00:09:00,202 --> 00:09:03,420
I parented my butt off today.
234
00:09:03,498 --> 00:09:05,668
Baby, you married a triple threat...
235
00:09:05,769 --> 00:09:07,707
father, husband, white.
236
00:09:07,801 --> 00:09:10,222
You don't tell Denise
these things, do you?
237
00:09:10,285 --> 00:09:12,179
Actually, I got that from her. Yeah.
238
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:13,450
How did karate go?
239
00:09:13,517 --> 00:09:17,385
I don't know if I should be
the one taking Johan.
240
00:09:17,487 --> 00:09:19,020
What do you think about swapping out?
241
00:09:19,122 --> 00:09:20,488
I don't understand.
Where's this coming from?
242
00:09:20,591 --> 00:09:22,457
I already have to deal
with your dad at work.
243
00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:25,060
I don't know if I can handle him
on the weekends, too.
244
00:09:25,162 --> 00:09:26,795
Oh, baby, don't let him get to you
245
00:09:26,897 --> 00:09:29,397
with his "boys-only tree house" garbage.
246
00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:30,765
We know what we're doing.
247
00:09:30,867 --> 00:09:32,734
Raising our kids the commune way
248
00:09:32,836 --> 00:09:34,502
is just as good as any other way.
249
00:09:34,605 --> 00:09:36,538
Honestly, probably a little better.
250
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,373
Mm. Yeah.
251
00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:39,608
- Maybe you're right.
- Yeah.
252
00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:41,409
And they still don't know
what they're talking about.
253
00:09:41,511 --> 00:09:43,612
I mean, did Denise have a kid
in the last few hours?
254
00:09:43,714 --> 00:09:44,746
Yeah.
255
00:09:44,848 --> 00:09:47,349
Did your dad go back in time
and raise you right?
256
00:09:47,451 --> 00:09:49,451
- Yeah, see, that's...
- Oh, God. I'm sorry.
257
00:09:49,553 --> 00:09:52,621
I have to find a better way
to make fun of your father.
258
00:09:52,723 --> 00:09:53,788
Yeah.
259
00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:57,559
Okay, everyone saw you cry,
so bullies are coming.
260
00:09:57,661 --> 00:09:59,294
You know what a bully is?
261
00:09:59,396 --> 00:10:01,196
Assume I don't know what anything is.
262
00:10:01,298 --> 00:10:03,264
A bully is someone
who's going to punch you
263
00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:04,499
for being different.
264
00:10:04,601 --> 00:10:07,602
Like, you know, with the glasses
or having that... hair.
265
00:10:07,704 --> 00:10:09,004
But don't worry.
266
00:10:09,106 --> 00:10:10,705
It sounds like I should worry.
267
00:10:10,807 --> 00:10:11,740
No.
268
00:10:11,842 --> 00:10:13,642
The good news is, getting bullied
269
00:10:13,744 --> 00:10:15,343
will give you the drive to be rich.
270
00:10:15,445 --> 00:10:17,345
So, while he's kicking you, cover up
271
00:10:17,447 --> 00:10:20,015
and then think about
what you're going to invent.
272
00:10:20,117 --> 00:10:21,783
A car made of cheese.
273
00:10:21,885 --> 00:10:24,452
So you can eat on long trips.
274
00:10:25,422 --> 00:10:27,188
You're gonna need a really big bully.
275
00:10:27,290 --> 00:10:29,424
[Chuckles] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
276
00:10:29,526 --> 00:10:30,925
Don't tell him that.
277
00:10:31,028 --> 00:10:33,028
Relax. You won't be bullied.
278
00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:35,430
But just in case, if anything happens,
279
00:10:35,532 --> 00:10:37,932
you need to fight back
with the one thing
280
00:10:38,035 --> 00:10:39,834
that is stronger than your fists.
281
00:10:39,936 --> 00:10:40,902
A sword?
282
00:10:41,004 --> 00:10:42,604
No, your love.
283
00:10:42,706 --> 00:10:46,341
If they bully you,
fight their hate by loving them.
284
00:10:46,443 --> 00:10:49,477
Just like Dr. King or Gandhi would have.
285
00:10:49,579 --> 00:10:52,514
Yeah, because everything
worked out so well for them.
286
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:55,150
[Sighs]
287
00:10:55,252 --> 00:10:57,118
All right, I know
you two are really into
288
00:10:57,220 --> 00:10:58,420
that whole pageant thing,
289
00:10:58,522 --> 00:11:00,955
but I found something so much better...
290
00:11:01,058 --> 00:11:03,058
Rover Girls!
291
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:04,946
What year was this from?
292
00:11:04,993 --> 00:11:06,009
Oh, Santi, come on.
293
00:11:06,063 --> 00:11:07,996
Those pageant types,
they're not our kind of people.
294
00:11:08,098 --> 00:11:09,631
They're shallow and superficial.
295
00:11:09,733 --> 00:11:10,832
But Rover Girls?
296
00:11:10,934 --> 00:11:13,868
These girls are smart, like you.
297
00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:15,403
Are you talking to the both of us?
298
00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:17,539
Yes. Both of you will love it.
299
00:11:17,641 --> 00:11:19,607
Rover girls do science
and community service,
300
00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:23,211
and they prepare you
to be upstanding young women.
301
00:11:23,313 --> 00:11:25,513
Didn't you say uniforms were fascist?
302
00:11:25,615 --> 00:11:28,583
Yeah, but... these are cute.
303
00:11:28,785 --> 00:11:31,019
[Grunts]
304
00:11:31,121 --> 00:11:33,354
Ohhh. So much anger. Okay.
305
00:11:33,457 --> 00:11:34,956
[Indistinct conversations]
306
00:11:35,158 --> 00:11:37,959
♪♪
307
00:11:38,061 --> 00:11:40,829
A husband who looks like you
and pours you wine?
308
00:11:40,931 --> 00:11:42,097
How do I make a trade?
309
00:11:42,199 --> 00:11:44,099
[Laughter]
310
00:11:44,201 --> 00:11:46,835
Hold on. You all actually
find him attractive?
311
00:11:46,937 --> 00:11:48,903
Uh, ladies, I want to welcome all of you
312
00:11:49,005 --> 00:11:51,973
and your strong, independent
daughters to our home.
313
00:11:52,075 --> 00:11:53,942
Now, today, the girls can earn
all sorts of badges
314
00:11:54,044 --> 00:11:56,177
to help them become well-rounded women.
315
00:11:56,279 --> 00:12:00,519
So, girls, let's start
building your futures!
316
00:12:00,565 --> 00:12:01,493
[Girls laugh]
317
00:12:01,518 --> 00:12:03,985
Come on. It's gonna be amazing!
318
00:12:04,087 --> 00:12:06,488
I can see myself
building a future with him.
319
00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:07,622
Ohh.
320
00:12:07,724 --> 00:12:08,990
I'm sorry.
321
00:12:09,092 --> 00:12:11,526
Can you point to what part
of his face does it for you?
322
00:12:11,551 --> 00:12:13,217
Because I really don't see it.
323
00:12:13,286 --> 00:12:15,587
Mm. There's the beef.
324
00:12:15,705 --> 00:12:17,238
Y'all are nasty.
325
00:12:17,305 --> 00:12:19,768
[T La Rock's "He's Incredible!" plays]
326
00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:21,936
[Rapping] ♪ Passion fills the air ♪
327
00:12:22,038 --> 00:12:24,126
These were totally
the kind of smart girls
328
00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:25,704
I felt comfortable around.
329
00:12:25,790 --> 00:12:27,188
It felt like Dad was right.
330
00:12:27,266 --> 00:12:29,310
♪ His cuts are quick
to the bass drum kick ♪
331
00:12:29,412 --> 00:12:32,080
[Record scratching]
332
00:12:32,182 --> 00:12:34,015
♪ He's just incredible ♪
333
00:12:34,117 --> 00:12:36,284
♪ Kick it, kick it ♪
334
00:12:36,386 --> 00:12:37,585
♪ Kick it ♪
335
00:12:39,222 --> 00:12:41,156
[Gasps] I see a blue jay!
336
00:12:41,258 --> 00:12:42,223
[Gasps]
337
00:12:42,325 --> 00:12:44,259
I see a family I'd rather live with!
338
00:12:44,361 --> 00:12:46,961
♪ Fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh ♪
339
00:12:47,063 --> 00:12:48,115
Hey, sweetheart.
340
00:12:48,180 --> 00:12:49,379
What's got you down?
341
00:12:49,466 --> 00:12:51,213
I wish I were kidnapped.
342
00:12:51,284 --> 00:12:53,057
Okay, you know what? That's enough.
343
00:12:53,135 --> 00:12:54,877
Maybe it's time you go
to your room and not come out
344
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:55,940
until you find a better attitude.
345
00:12:56,006 --> 00:12:58,072
Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
346
00:12:58,175 --> 00:13:01,709
Apparently, these moms think
you're a "hot dad."
347
00:13:01,812 --> 00:13:02,911
I don't get it,
348
00:13:03,013 --> 00:13:05,113
but they have been drinking
a lot of wine.
349
00:13:05,215 --> 00:13:07,949
What can I say? Triple threat.
350
00:13:08,051 --> 00:13:09,517
Go home somewhere.
351
00:13:09,619 --> 00:13:11,886
[Dramatic music plays]
352
00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:15,957
If it isn't the cry of the tiger.
353
00:13:16,059 --> 00:13:18,159
[Laughter]
354
00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:21,663
♪♪
355
00:13:21,765 --> 00:13:25,762
ALICIA: If they bully you, fight
their hate by loving them.
356
00:13:25,825 --> 00:13:28,770
♪♪
357
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:29,771
[Grunts]
358
00:13:29,873 --> 00:13:31,039
What are you doing?!
359
00:13:31,141 --> 00:13:32,173
I'm fighting your hurtful words
360
00:13:32,275 --> 00:13:34,275
with the strongest weapon of all...
361
00:13:34,377 --> 00:13:35,543
love.
362
00:13:35,645 --> 00:13:37,931
See? I told you love conquers all.
363
00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,614
Keep watching.
364
00:13:39,716 --> 00:13:41,749
Get off me, weirdo!
365
00:13:41,852 --> 00:13:43,484
No! Let me love you!
366
00:13:43,587 --> 00:13:45,361
[Spectators murmuring]
367
00:13:47,424 --> 00:13:49,457
Brody! What are you doing?!
368
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,060
Keep those elbows in.
369
00:13:52,162 --> 00:13:53,628
Turn those punches over!
370
00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:54,796
Oh!
371
00:13:54,898 --> 00:13:56,497
Hell no!
372
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:57,699
Ahh!
373
00:13:57,801 --> 00:13:59,701
Yeah, I'm not sure this is how
374
00:13:59,803 --> 00:14:02,437
Dr. King or Gandhi would've handled it.
375
00:14:02,539 --> 00:14:05,039
Let me know if I can get you
any more wine.
376
00:14:05,141 --> 00:14:06,941
Okay.
377
00:14:07,043 --> 00:14:09,644
Look, Dad. My sash is almost full.
378
00:14:09,746 --> 00:14:11,446
I wonder if there's a badge for badges.
379
00:14:11,548 --> 00:14:13,948
I'm so proud of you, Bow!
380
00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:15,950
I just wish your sister
could appreciate all this
381
00:14:16,052 --> 00:14:17,085
- [Door opens, closes]
- as much as you.
382
00:14:17,187 --> 00:14:18,219
SANTAMONICA: You win, Dad.
383
00:14:18,321 --> 00:14:20,388
I found a badge I want to earn.
384
00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:21,789
Theater.
385
00:14:21,892 --> 00:14:24,826
I'm so proud of you!
386
00:14:24,894 --> 00:14:25,837
Hello.
387
00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:27,662
Let's use this table. Come on.
388
00:14:27,764 --> 00:14:29,697
All right, everyone,
if I could get your attention.
389
00:14:29,799 --> 00:14:33,401
Santamonica has decided
to earn her theater badge
390
00:14:33,503 --> 00:14:35,670
by doing a sock-puppet show.
391
00:14:35,772 --> 00:14:38,072
Mm! Those are some big socks.
392
00:14:38,174 --> 00:14:39,674
Are they yours?
393
00:14:39,776 --> 00:14:41,242
Ma'am, I'm cutting you off.
394
00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:42,877
[Clears throat]
395
00:14:42,979 --> 00:14:46,881
Once upon a time,
there was a beautiful princess
396
00:14:46,983 --> 00:14:49,017
who lived with her father.
397
00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:51,219
Your daughter is so cute.
398
00:14:52,188 --> 00:14:53,821
"Don't say 'cute'! That's patriarchy!"
399
00:14:53,924 --> 00:14:57,258
"But please, Father!
I don't want to do Rover Girls!
400
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,826
I want to be cute."
401
00:14:58,929 --> 00:15:01,563
"Who cares what you want?
I have a beard!"
402
00:15:02,666 --> 00:15:04,599
I can't believe this. Santi, stop.
403
00:15:04,701 --> 00:15:06,534
No! There's an hour and a half left.
404
00:15:06,636 --> 00:15:08,002
You two, let's go.
405
00:15:08,104 --> 00:15:09,871
"You two, let's go."
406
00:15:09,973 --> 00:15:12,009
[Whimpering] "Save me!"
407
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,942
That's enough. Okay.
408
00:15:14,044 --> 00:15:15,209
Mm.
409
00:15:15,312 --> 00:15:17,245
I'm watching you.
410
00:15:17,347 --> 00:15:20,481
[Indistinct arguing]
411
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:21,816
Hi, guys.
412
00:15:21,918 --> 00:15:22,884
- Oh, hi.
- Mom!
413
00:15:22,986 --> 00:15:24,452
Daddy won't let me be great!
414
00:15:24,554 --> 00:15:25,512
Stop it!
415
00:15:25,555 --> 00:15:26,715
Dad already said you're too young
416
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,129
to know why you shouldn't do pageants.
417
00:15:28,213 --> 00:15:29,546
- PAUL: Exactly.
- Wait. Why shouldn't she?
418
00:15:29,626 --> 00:15:31,025
Well, I pulled them out
419
00:15:31,127 --> 00:15:33,861
because all those people care
about is being dumb and pretty.
420
00:15:33,964 --> 00:15:35,863
You would've done the same thing.
421
00:15:35,966 --> 00:15:37,365
No. I wouldn't have.
422
00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:39,267
Paul, you can't just
make them quit stuff
423
00:15:39,369 --> 00:15:41,235
because you don't agree with it.
424
00:15:41,338 --> 00:15:43,471
H-Hold on. I thought
we were on the same page...
425
00:15:43,573 --> 00:15:45,106
Gender-free parenting,
426
00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:48,176
not raising our daughters
to be airheaded arm candy.
427
00:15:48,378 --> 00:15:50,244
I can't believe you.
428
00:15:50,347 --> 00:15:51,546
Honestly, I'm shocked.
429
00:15:51,648 --> 00:15:53,781
As a so-called feminist, you should know
430
00:15:53,883 --> 00:15:56,651
it's not your place
to say what makes a good woman.
431
00:15:56,753 --> 00:15:57,785
Welcome to the club.
432
00:15:57,887 --> 00:16:00,021
All day, he's been trying
to school me on that.
433
00:16:00,123 --> 00:16:02,357
Well, this one told my grandson
434
00:16:02,459 --> 00:16:05,026
that it's okay to cry at a dojo.
435
00:16:05,128 --> 00:16:06,294
No.
436
00:16:06,396 --> 00:16:08,830
You let Johan cry in karate?
437
00:16:08,932 --> 00:16:10,298
- What happened?
- What do you think happened?
438
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,066
He got the brakes beaten off him.
439
00:16:12,168 --> 00:16:13,601
I did.
440
00:16:13,703 --> 00:16:15,169
I really did.
441
00:16:15,271 --> 00:16:16,571
Sis, you know better!
442
00:16:16,673 --> 00:16:19,073
You can't let this boy cry
and let him be light-skinned.
443
00:16:19,175 --> 00:16:21,342
How would I not
let him be light-skinned?
444
00:16:21,444 --> 00:16:22,510
I can't believe you.
445
00:16:22,612 --> 00:16:24,912
You should know
there are basic man rules.
446
00:16:25,015 --> 00:16:26,414
We don't cry in public,
447
00:16:26,516 --> 00:16:28,483
we always leave a space between urinals.
448
00:16:28,585 --> 00:16:31,619
And when we buy you dinner,
then we expect...
449
00:16:31,721 --> 00:16:32,887
dessert.
450
00:16:32,989 --> 00:16:34,989
I'm supposed to leave a space
between the urinals?
451
00:16:35,091 --> 00:16:37,825
I always stand next to someone
because I get lonely.
452
00:16:37,927 --> 00:16:39,460
I can't believe
he turned this against me.
453
00:16:39,562 --> 00:16:41,295
I can't believe
there's women besides you
454
00:16:41,398 --> 00:16:42,830
who find him attractive.
455
00:16:42,932 --> 00:16:44,465
PAUL: This is basic stuff.
456
00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:46,100
You don't let boys cry in karate,
457
00:16:46,202 --> 00:16:48,102
and I'm sorry
if it makes me a hypocrite,
458
00:16:48,204 --> 00:16:50,271
but our daughters
are better than pageants.
459
00:16:50,373 --> 00:16:51,939
I don't know who you think you raised.
460
00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,374
Santi, enough.
461
00:16:53,476 --> 00:16:54,809
Smart girls do Rover Girls.
462
00:16:54,911 --> 00:16:56,677
Dumb, pretty girls do pageants.
463
00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:58,112
Hold up.
464
00:16:58,214 --> 00:17:00,415
You don't think you're pretty?
465
00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:01,682
♪♪
466
00:17:01,735 --> 00:17:02,694
No.
467
00:17:02,719 --> 00:17:04,685
I'm smart, not pretty.
468
00:17:06,156 --> 00:17:07,722
Right, Dad?
469
00:17:07,824 --> 00:17:09,257
[Sighs]
470
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:12,693
♪♪
471
00:17:12,796 --> 00:17:14,929
Your maid took my wine.
472
00:17:15,899 --> 00:17:17,235
Hold up.
473
00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:21,367
BOW: My parents gave each other
the silent treatment...
474
00:17:21,437 --> 00:17:23,194
for 35 minutes.
475
00:17:23,274 --> 00:17:25,374
Then they did what people
who love each other do...
476
00:17:25,476 --> 00:17:27,643
pick a fight
just to start talking again.
477
00:17:27,712 --> 00:17:30,186
- Where's our toothbrush?
- How should I know?
478
00:17:32,194 --> 00:17:34,027
Hm.
479
00:17:34,129 --> 00:17:35,358
[Exhales sharply]
480
00:17:35,397 --> 00:17:37,250
- I screwed up.
- No, we screwed up.
481
00:17:37,305 --> 00:17:38,327
I'm sorry.
482
00:17:38,383 --> 00:17:40,133
I thought we were good parents.
483
00:17:40,172 --> 00:17:42,500
Me too! But our son got beat up,
484
00:17:42,537 --> 00:17:44,170
our oldest daughter thinks she's ugly,
485
00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:46,005
and our youngest daughter hates us.
486
00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:47,927
I know! I was tucking her in,
and she tried to bite me.
487
00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:50,543
Are we doing it wrong?
488
00:17:50,646 --> 00:17:51,811
No. No!
489
00:17:51,913 --> 00:17:52,979
We're not wrong.
490
00:17:53,081 --> 00:17:55,649
Bullying is wrong. Misogyny is wrong.
491
00:17:57,085 --> 00:17:58,852
But pretending they don't exist
492
00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:01,588
isn't doing our kids any favors, either.
493
00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:03,723
Yeah, you're right.
494
00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:05,792
We can't teach them to be above it
495
00:18:05,894 --> 00:18:07,861
if we haven't taught them
how to deal with it.
496
00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,462
Yeah.
497
00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:11,298
But you know what this means, though.
498
00:18:11,366 --> 00:18:15,101
If you say that Denise
and Harrison were right,
499
00:18:15,203 --> 00:18:16,636
I'll bite you myself.
500
00:18:16,738 --> 00:18:18,538
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
501
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,474
Yeah, we... we really need
to find that toothbrush.
502
00:18:21,576 --> 00:18:22,769
- [Clears throat]
- Yeah.
503
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:23,731
- Yep.
- Mm.
504
00:18:23,779 --> 00:18:24,711
Yep.
505
00:18:24,754 --> 00:18:25,712
- Uh-huh.
- Yep.
506
00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,747
I'm sorry if I made you feel like
507
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:30,016
women can't be smart and pretty.
508
00:18:30,118 --> 00:18:33,386
Women can be anything they want to be.
509
00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:35,399
Granddad said they can't be funny.
510
00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:37,757
[Sighs] Yeah.
511
00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:39,726
Granddad's not perfect.
512
00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:42,996
And if I'm being honest, neither am I.
513
00:18:43,098 --> 00:18:45,231
I'm very sorry about how I acted.
514
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:47,934
[Modern English's
"I Melt With You" plays]
515
00:18:48,036 --> 00:18:50,704
That day, I learned
that being a progressive parent
516
00:18:50,806 --> 00:18:53,202
means being honest
about what you don't know.
517
00:18:53,241 --> 00:18:59,713
♪
518
00:18:59,815 --> 00:19:01,514
[Laughs]
519
00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:04,682
Everyone has ideas about
how to raise the perfect child.
520
00:19:04,753 --> 00:19:06,853
♪ ...using all my breath ♪
521
00:19:06,955 --> 00:19:08,388
Hyah!
522
00:19:08,490 --> 00:19:09,756
[Applause]
523
00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:11,891
But when those ideas become reality,
524
00:19:11,993 --> 00:19:13,426
things get more complicated.
525
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,694
That's my boy!
526
00:19:14,796 --> 00:19:16,996
♪ I saw the world... ♪
527
00:19:17,099 --> 00:19:18,398
Oh, that type of crying is okay.
528
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,866
- Ah.
- It's for sports.
529
00:19:19,968 --> 00:19:21,601
♪
530
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:22,857
Hey, honey.
531
00:19:22,926 --> 00:19:24,344
You look very sensible.
532
00:19:24,439 --> 00:19:26,506
♪ ...always mesh and lace ♪
533
00:19:26,608 --> 00:19:27,741
And pretty.
534
00:19:27,843 --> 00:19:29,008
♪ I'll stop the world ♪
535
00:19:29,091 --> 00:19:30,161
Thanks, Dad.
536
00:19:30,232 --> 00:19:32,045
♪ And melt with you ♪
537
00:19:32,147 --> 00:19:35,682
For such a difficult task,
my parents did a great job.
538
00:19:35,784 --> 00:19:38,340
My brother turned out
to be caring and sensitive.
539
00:19:38,434 --> 00:19:40,854
You guys, you guys!
My baby birds hatched.
540
00:19:40,956 --> 00:19:42,722
My sister became a confident woman
541
00:19:42,824 --> 00:19:45,325
with her... own brand of feminism.
542
00:19:45,427 --> 00:19:47,740
"Rich Wives," season 4,
August 20th. Watch.
543
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:48,717
[Smooches] Bye!
544
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:52,311
And I grew up to be
a smart, accomplished,
545
00:19:52,389 --> 00:19:56,006
charismatic, vibrant, sexy,
546
00:19:56,092 --> 00:19:57,704
humble doctor.
547
00:19:57,806 --> 00:19:59,863
And that's all
because my parents gave us
548
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,378
everything they could
and just let us be us.
549
00:20:03,978 --> 00:20:05,548
- [Doorbell rings]
- Coming!
550
00:20:07,532 --> 00:20:09,799
Oh! Um...
551
00:20:09,894 --> 00:20:11,235
I-I'm sorry. I-I...
552
00:20:11,295 --> 00:20:13,009
I thought this was
where, uh, Paul lived.
553
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,587
You were here the other day, right?
554
00:20:14,669 --> 00:20:15,946
Mm-hmm.
555
00:20:16,017 --> 00:20:17,316
I'm his wife.
556
00:20:17,418 --> 00:20:18,479
- Ohhhh!
- [Laughs]
557
00:20:18,542 --> 00:20:19,482
Yeah.
558
00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:20,986
- Oh. Okay.
- Uh-huh.
559
00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:22,021
- Oh.
- Yeah.
560
00:20:22,123 --> 00:20:23,389
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
561
00:20:23,491 --> 00:20:25,324
- Ohh!
- Mm!
562
00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:27,560
Gandhi would like me to hug you.
563
00:20:27,630 --> 00:20:29,334
But you need to leave.
564
00:20:29,389 --> 00:20:30,639
[Grunts] Okay.
565
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,101
- [Grunts]
- Now.
566
00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:33,176
Got it?
567
00:20:33,256 --> 00:20:34,604
Yep. Yep.
568
00:20:34,656 --> 00:20:35,955
Mm-ah!
569
00:20:36,048 --> 00:20:37,830
Oh! Wonderful.
570
00:20:38,762 --> 00:20:40,023
- Thank you!
- Um...
571
00:20:40,077 --> 00:20:41,176
Good night.
572
00:20:41,254 --> 00:20:43,734
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
573
00:20:43,781 --> 00:20:45,935
She seems nice.40406
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