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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,055 --> 00:00:02,914 BOW: My parents did everything normal parents did. 2 00:00:02,968 --> 00:00:04,835 And when the prince finally climbed the tower, 3 00:00:04,906 --> 00:00:06,765 the princess said, "Thanks, buddy, 4 00:00:06,820 --> 00:00:07,851 but I don't need your help." 5 00:00:07,914 --> 00:00:11,043 "And from that day on, they shared responsibilities 6 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:14,271 and lived happily and equally ever after." 7 00:00:14,366 --> 00:00:15,568 Psych! 8 00:00:15,661 --> 00:00:19,936 My parents always had to be as progressive as possible. 9 00:00:21,099 --> 00:00:22,819 - Hey, guys. - Hi! 10 00:00:22,905 --> 00:00:25,835 Guess what. We were approached at the mall by a stranger. 11 00:00:25,937 --> 00:00:28,359 - What? - At first, I thought it was a kidnapping, 12 00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:30,273 because... look at me. 13 00:00:30,375 --> 00:00:32,488 It was a recruiter for a beauty pageant, 14 00:00:32,535 --> 00:00:34,777 and they want us to be in it. 15 00:00:34,848 --> 00:00:37,682 Which also makes sense, because look at me. 16 00:00:37,784 --> 00:00:39,651 DENISE: So clear your schedule, sis. 17 00:00:39,753 --> 00:00:40,985 - The prize is $40. - ALICIA: Mm. 18 00:00:41,087 --> 00:00:42,420 I'm-a need my cut. 19 00:00:42,522 --> 00:00:45,390 [Scoffs] Why would you assume Alicia would take them? 20 00:00:45,492 --> 00:00:46,891 Yeah, just because I'm a woman, 21 00:00:46,993 --> 00:00:49,594 I'm the only one who can take girls to a pageant? 22 00:00:49,696 --> 00:00:51,562 What is this, 1983? 23 00:00:51,665 --> 00:00:53,865 This may be new to you, but we don't make decisions 24 00:00:53,967 --> 00:00:55,266 - based on gender. - Mm-hmm. 25 00:00:55,368 --> 00:00:57,268 You know, back on the commune, it was a gender-neutral... 26 00:00:57,370 --> 00:00:59,337 - So you not coming? - No. 27 00:00:59,439 --> 00:01:02,373 I'm taking Johan to test for his white belt in karate. 28 00:01:02,475 --> 00:01:06,261 You guys are letting a woman take him to a dojo? 29 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,222 [Sighs] 30 00:01:07,247 --> 00:01:08,840 Which one of you did the breastfeeding? 31 00:01:08,925 --> 00:01:10,248 Depends on which kid. 32 00:01:11,217 --> 00:01:12,216 [Exhales sharply] 33 00:01:12,318 --> 00:01:13,317 ♪ In the mix ♪ 34 00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:15,720 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying ♪ 35 00:01:15,822 --> 00:01:18,022 ♪ But they can't stop us ♪ 36 00:01:18,124 --> 00:01:20,391 ♪ 'Cause we got a love ♪ 37 00:01:20,493 --> 00:01:22,727 ♪ That keeps rising up ♪ 38 00:01:22,829 --> 00:01:23,961 ♪ In the mix ♪ 39 00:01:24,064 --> 00:01:25,663 ♪ Life turns around ♪ 40 00:01:25,765 --> 00:01:27,231 ♪ 'Round and 'round it goes ♪ 41 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:30,057 ♪ Ooh, it's a mixed-up world ♪ ♪ Ooh, it's a mixed-up ♪ 42 00:01:30,119 --> 00:01:31,602 ♪ And that's for sure ♪ ♪ Mixed-up ♪ 43 00:01:31,705 --> 00:01:33,337 ♪ In the mix ♪ ♪ Baby ♪ 44 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:34,976 ♪ We're gonna get by ♪ 45 00:01:35,047 --> 00:01:37,453 ♪ We're gonna ♪ ♪ On our own, side by side ♪ 46 00:01:37,523 --> 00:01:40,078 ♪ Love's all we need to be free ♪ ♪ Lo-o-o-ve is all ♪ 47 00:01:40,211 --> 00:01:42,404 ♪ I got you, you got me ♪ 48 00:01:42,482 --> 00:01:44,779 ♪ Yaaaaay us! ♪ 49 00:01:44,852 --> 00:01:46,833 ♪ I-I-In the mix ♪ 50 00:01:46,904 --> 00:01:49,466 ♪ Yaaaaay us! ♪ 51 00:01:49,521 --> 00:01:52,123 ♪ I-I-In the mix-ish ♪ 52 00:01:52,225 --> 00:01:55,754 So, she's taking your son to the dojo 53 00:01:55,832 --> 00:01:59,564 and you're taking the girls to the pageant? 54 00:01:59,666 --> 00:02:01,799 You don't see gender, we know you don't see race, 55 00:02:01,901 --> 00:02:05,020 and, uh, based on that shirt, you obviously don't see fashion. 56 00:02:05,105 --> 00:02:06,604 [Chuckles] 57 00:02:06,706 --> 00:02:08,005 We see humanity. 58 00:02:08,108 --> 00:02:10,174 We see the good in everyone. Even you. 59 00:02:10,276 --> 00:02:11,895 Then I'm sending the wrong signals. 60 00:02:11,973 --> 00:02:13,911 Look, you can't ignore gender. 61 00:02:14,013 --> 00:02:16,114 There's a boys' bathroom and a girls' bathroom. 62 00:02:16,216 --> 00:02:18,916 And as long as there is breath in my lungs, 63 00:02:19,018 --> 00:02:20,451 there will never be a third option. 64 00:02:20,553 --> 00:02:22,487 In his defense, Granddad died 65 00:02:22,589 --> 00:02:24,155 before there was a third option. 66 00:02:24,257 --> 00:02:27,191 At least you're finally letting the girls do something girly! 67 00:02:27,293 --> 00:02:29,127 This is gonna be so fun, sis! 68 00:02:29,229 --> 00:02:31,129 Again, Paul's taking them. 69 00:02:31,231 --> 00:02:32,597 But I don't like Paul. 70 00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:34,899 Look, sometimes girls need their moms 71 00:02:35,001 --> 00:02:36,601 instead of their dads. 72 00:02:36,703 --> 00:02:38,569 Why would we listen to either of you? 73 00:02:38,671 --> 00:02:40,171 - Mm. - You don't even have kids. 74 00:02:40,273 --> 00:02:41,506 - That I know of. - Mm. 75 00:02:41,608 --> 00:02:45,348 And do you really think you did a good job raising Paul? 76 00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:48,513 ♪♪ 77 00:02:48,615 --> 00:02:50,448 I'm sorry. Just... 78 00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:52,150 I was trying to hurt Harrison. 79 00:02:53,186 --> 00:02:54,352 Did I hurt you? 80 00:02:54,454 --> 00:02:57,021 Can't hurt me. I'm woman-proof. 81 00:02:57,123 --> 00:02:59,557 - She hurt you. - Mm-hmm. 82 00:03:00,794 --> 00:03:03,494 I can't believe we're going to be in a beauty pageant. 83 00:03:03,596 --> 00:03:05,897 Are you sure that lady wasn't just talking to me? 84 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,900 If you're wondering why this pageant thing 85 00:03:09,002 --> 00:03:10,501 was so exciting to me, 86 00:03:10,603 --> 00:03:12,103 it's because my progressive parents 87 00:03:12,205 --> 00:03:15,439 didn't want us girls to be raised to only value our looks. 88 00:03:16,676 --> 00:03:17,975 - Aww! - ALICIA: Ohh! 89 00:03:18,077 --> 00:03:19,710 Don't you look smart. 90 00:03:19,813 --> 00:03:23,447 Like a woman who knows how to balance her own checkbook. 91 00:03:23,550 --> 00:03:25,616 I understand where they were coming from now, 92 00:03:25,718 --> 00:03:29,921 but when I was 12, I just wanted to feel pretty. 93 00:03:30,023 --> 00:03:31,322 What if I win? 94 00:03:31,424 --> 00:03:33,257 Against me? 95 00:03:33,359 --> 00:03:35,593 [Laughing] 96 00:03:38,665 --> 00:03:41,342 And people wonder why we aren't close. 97 00:03:41,428 --> 00:03:43,534 [Laughing continues] 98 00:03:43,636 --> 00:03:45,369 [Indistinct conversations] 99 00:03:45,471 --> 00:03:47,505 ♪♪ 100 00:03:47,607 --> 00:03:48,606 RAINBOW: Wow. 101 00:03:48,708 --> 00:03:51,475 Everyone's so... glamorous. 102 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,781 If I ever run away from home to come here, 103 00:03:56,883 --> 00:03:58,516 don't try and find me. 104 00:04:00,019 --> 00:04:01,652 Hold on. Wait a second. 105 00:04:01,754 --> 00:04:03,688 Aren't all these girls a little young to be wearing makeup? 106 00:04:03,790 --> 00:04:05,690 Paul, it's a beauty pageant. 107 00:04:05,792 --> 00:04:07,959 Yeah, but what about natural beauty? Or inner beauty? 108 00:04:08,061 --> 00:04:09,727 Right, 'cause men buy the Swimsuit Issue 109 00:04:09,829 --> 00:04:10,995 for the natural beauty. 110 00:04:11,097 --> 00:04:13,364 I'm just saying, you'd never catch Eleanor Roosevelt 111 00:04:13,466 --> 00:04:15,967 or Susan B. Anthony prancing around in a swimsuit. 112 00:04:16,069 --> 00:04:18,803 Imagine where their careers would've gone if they had. 113 00:04:18,905 --> 00:04:20,638 I just don't want to teach my daughters 114 00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:23,040 that beauty defines their self-worth. 115 00:04:23,142 --> 00:04:24,742 Pageants are a good thing. 116 00:04:24,844 --> 00:04:26,677 I did a few myself back in high school. 117 00:04:26,779 --> 00:04:29,614 I even won Miss Black Awareness 1960. 118 00:04:29,716 --> 00:04:31,616 - [Camera shutter clicks] - It helped me break out of my shell. 119 00:04:31,718 --> 00:04:34,652 I learned poise, confidence, and presence. 120 00:04:34,754 --> 00:04:37,822 It was a springboard to my career in aerospace. 121 00:04:37,924 --> 00:04:39,824 - Aerospace? - Mm-hmm. 122 00:04:39,926 --> 00:04:41,859 - You're a baggage handler. - Mm-hmm. 123 00:04:43,329 --> 00:04:44,662 All right, I'll just keep my mouth shut, 124 00:04:44,764 --> 00:04:46,697 but this just doesn't feel like the kind of thing 125 00:04:46,799 --> 00:04:48,566 my daughters should be doing. 126 00:04:48,668 --> 00:04:50,368 Pageants are for pretty people. 127 00:04:50,470 --> 00:04:51,802 You wouldn't understand. 128 00:04:51,905 --> 00:04:52,870 Well... 129 00:04:52,972 --> 00:05:00,678 ♪♪ 130 00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:02,280 Wow, with a name like Bob Lee, 131 00:05:02,382 --> 00:05:05,416 I was expecting him to be a... [Vocalizing Asian music] 132 00:05:05,518 --> 00:05:07,118 Harrison, you can't say that. 133 00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,754 The proper term is "Oriental." 134 00:05:09,856 --> 00:05:13,324 Saying "Oriental" in 1985 was actually "woke." 135 00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:16,360 [Yells] 136 00:05:16,462 --> 00:05:19,931 Honestly, the hardest part of karate 137 00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:21,851 is staying humble. 138 00:05:21,944 --> 00:05:26,552 It is a constant struggle not to let it go to your head 139 00:05:26,639 --> 00:05:30,508 that you are the baddest man in every room. 140 00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:32,743 For example... 141 00:05:32,845 --> 00:05:36,414 I could destroy that man right there... easily. 142 00:05:36,516 --> 00:05:38,049 I wouldn't even break a sweat. 143 00:05:38,151 --> 00:05:41,452 And I would take parts of him home in my pocket. 144 00:05:41,554 --> 00:05:44,555 - Do you know if they offer adult classes? - Mm. 145 00:05:44,657 --> 00:05:47,200 When I am done training you boys, 146 00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:50,995 you will have to clean your rooms out of respect, 147 00:05:51,097 --> 00:05:54,749 because your fathers won't be strong enough to make you. 148 00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:57,234 [Laughs] 149 00:05:57,337 --> 00:05:59,070 Hyah! 150 00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:01,105 Now, who's ready to break some boards?! 151 00:06:01,207 --> 00:06:02,573 Johan, you're up. Here we go. 152 00:06:02,675 --> 00:06:04,308 Sir, yes, sir! 153 00:06:05,712 --> 00:06:06,978 [Exhales sharply] 154 00:06:08,414 --> 00:06:09,547 [Grunts] 155 00:06:09,649 --> 00:06:10,881 Again! 156 00:06:12,585 --> 00:06:13,584 [Grunts] 157 00:06:13,686 --> 00:06:14,919 Is your hand broken? 158 00:06:15,021 --> 00:06:16,053 I hope not. 159 00:06:16,155 --> 00:06:17,788 Then again! 160 00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:18,990 [Grunts] 161 00:06:19,058 --> 00:06:19,991 [Crying] 162 00:06:20,093 --> 00:06:21,125 [Sighs] 163 00:06:22,495 --> 00:06:24,028 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 164 00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:25,129 What are you doing? 165 00:06:25,231 --> 00:06:27,031 You can't cry in the dojo. 166 00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:28,833 Of course he can. He can cry wherever he wants. 167 00:06:28,935 --> 00:06:30,401 It's okay. Let it out. 168 00:06:30,503 --> 00:06:32,069 No. Leave it in. 169 00:06:32,171 --> 00:06:34,839 Don't you make him feel bad about expressing himself. 170 00:06:34,941 --> 00:06:35,973 No, no, trust me. 171 00:06:36,075 --> 00:06:37,508 I'm not gonna make him feel bad. 172 00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:39,043 They are. 173 00:06:39,145 --> 00:06:40,511 [Laughter] 174 00:06:40,613 --> 00:06:42,747 [Sniffles] 175 00:06:42,849 --> 00:06:45,916 [Duran Duran's "Girls on Film" plays] 176 00:06:47,954 --> 00:06:49,186 DENISE: Isn't this exciting? 177 00:06:49,288 --> 00:06:52,556 Santamonica just learned to put Vaseline on her teeth. 178 00:06:52,658 --> 00:06:54,425 What... What does that do? 179 00:06:54,527 --> 00:06:55,926 So you don't get stick-lip. 180 00:06:56,963 --> 00:06:58,696 You know... when your lips stick to your teeth 181 00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:00,598 from smiling so much. 182 00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,233 Do you even hear yourself? 183 00:07:02,335 --> 00:07:05,036 Woman complain about getting body complexes 184 00:07:05,138 --> 00:07:06,904 and eating disorders from beauty magazines. 185 00:07:07,006 --> 00:07:08,372 Where do you think all that starts? 186 00:07:08,474 --> 00:07:11,242 I don't know, but you should get a better attitude. 187 00:07:11,344 --> 00:07:14,045 One of these girls is gonna grow up to be your stepmom. 188 00:07:14,147 --> 00:07:16,080 ♪ Girls on film ♪ 189 00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,583 ♪ Girls on film ♪ 190 00:07:21,421 --> 00:07:23,154 ♪ Girls on film ♪ 191 00:07:23,256 --> 00:07:24,555 My dad might have hated it, 192 00:07:24,657 --> 00:07:28,025 but I was so excited to be part of this new world... 193 00:07:28,127 --> 00:07:30,094 even though I didn't know what I was doing. 194 00:07:30,196 --> 00:07:32,430 She gets it from her auntie. 195 00:07:32,532 --> 00:07:35,199 I was Miss Black Awareness 1960. 196 00:07:35,301 --> 00:07:36,600 But you knew that already. 197 00:07:36,702 --> 00:07:38,135 [Sighs] 198 00:07:38,237 --> 00:07:39,804 Hey, look. 199 00:07:39,906 --> 00:07:41,172 DENISE: Oh, good job, baby. 200 00:07:41,274 --> 00:07:43,007 Ooh! Look at her walk! 201 00:07:43,109 --> 00:07:46,777 Wait, wait. T-That's an accomplishment in this place? 202 00:07:46,879 --> 00:07:48,245 Walking? 203 00:07:48,347 --> 00:07:49,713 Great job, honey! 204 00:07:49,816 --> 00:07:52,917 Walk on those stick shoes that some man invented 205 00:07:53,019 --> 00:07:55,486 to keep women from running away! 206 00:07:55,588 --> 00:07:56,987 Sir, is there a problem? 207 00:07:57,090 --> 00:07:59,256 You know what? There is. 208 00:07:59,358 --> 00:08:00,991 What are you teaching these girls? 209 00:08:01,094 --> 00:08:03,194 Um, to love themselves and their community? 210 00:08:03,296 --> 00:08:04,995 Ah, a community that glorifies 211 00:08:05,098 --> 00:08:08,265 unrealistic beauty standards and superficial talents? 212 00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:11,202 Let me guess, you think dancing with a ribbon is a talent 213 00:08:11,304 --> 00:08:13,537 but science isn't a talent. 214 00:08:13,639 --> 00:08:15,072 Because it's not a talent. 215 00:08:15,174 --> 00:08:16,367 You can't watch science. 216 00:08:16,421 --> 00:08:17,554 - [Scoffs] - Exactly! 217 00:08:17,609 --> 00:08:19,977 "Ooh! Science just went on tour. 218 00:08:20,079 --> 00:08:22,580 Can you get me backstage to meet science?" 219 00:08:22,682 --> 00:08:25,916 How am I the only person here who cares about women? 220 00:08:27,987 --> 00:08:29,887 You know, my daughters don't belong here. 221 00:08:29,949 --> 00:08:31,971 Santi, Rainbow, we're leaving. 222 00:08:33,392 --> 00:08:35,392 Uh, okay... 223 00:08:35,495 --> 00:08:38,963 I did not want to go, but maybe my Dad was right. 224 00:08:39,041 --> 00:08:40,567 Maybe this wasn't for me. 225 00:08:41,601 --> 00:08:43,134 If you want me to leave, 226 00:08:43,236 --> 00:08:45,636 you're gonna have to drag me out kicking and screaming. 227 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,873 No! No! No! No! No! 228 00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:51,208 Hey, this isn't my dad! 229 00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:53,511 [Grunting] 230 00:08:53,613 --> 00:08:55,312 I don't know who this man is! 231 00:08:55,414 --> 00:08:56,313 [Laughs] 232 00:08:56,415 --> 00:08:58,428 [Grunting] Put me down! 233 00:09:00,202 --> 00:09:03,420 I parented my butt off today. 234 00:09:03,498 --> 00:09:05,668 Baby, you married a triple threat... 235 00:09:05,769 --> 00:09:07,707 father, husband, white. 236 00:09:07,801 --> 00:09:10,222 You don't tell Denise these things, do you? 237 00:09:10,285 --> 00:09:12,179 Actually, I got that from her. Yeah. 238 00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:13,450 How did karate go? 239 00:09:13,517 --> 00:09:17,385 I don't know if I should be the one taking Johan. 240 00:09:17,487 --> 00:09:19,020 What do you think about swapping out? 241 00:09:19,122 --> 00:09:20,488 I don't understand. Where's this coming from? 242 00:09:20,591 --> 00:09:22,457 I already have to deal with your dad at work. 243 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:25,060 I don't know if I can handle him on the weekends, too. 244 00:09:25,162 --> 00:09:26,795 Oh, baby, don't let him get to you 245 00:09:26,897 --> 00:09:29,397 with his "boys-only tree house" garbage. 246 00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:30,765 We know what we're doing. 247 00:09:30,867 --> 00:09:32,734 Raising our kids the commune way 248 00:09:32,836 --> 00:09:34,502 is just as good as any other way. 249 00:09:34,605 --> 00:09:36,538 Honestly, probably a little better. 250 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,373 Mm. Yeah. 251 00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:39,608 - Maybe you're right. - Yeah. 252 00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:41,409 And they still don't know what they're talking about. 253 00:09:41,511 --> 00:09:43,612 I mean, did Denise have a kid in the last few hours? 254 00:09:43,714 --> 00:09:44,746 Yeah. 255 00:09:44,848 --> 00:09:47,349 Did your dad go back in time and raise you right? 256 00:09:47,451 --> 00:09:49,451 - Yeah, see, that's... - Oh, God. I'm sorry. 257 00:09:49,553 --> 00:09:52,621 I have to find a better way to make fun of your father. 258 00:09:52,723 --> 00:09:53,788 Yeah. 259 00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:57,559 Okay, everyone saw you cry, so bullies are coming. 260 00:09:57,661 --> 00:09:59,294 You know what a bully is? 261 00:09:59,396 --> 00:10:01,196 Assume I don't know what anything is. 262 00:10:01,298 --> 00:10:03,264 A bully is someone who's going to punch you 263 00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:04,499 for being different. 264 00:10:04,601 --> 00:10:07,602 Like, you know, with the glasses or having that... hair. 265 00:10:07,704 --> 00:10:09,004 But don't worry. 266 00:10:09,106 --> 00:10:10,705 It sounds like I should worry. 267 00:10:10,807 --> 00:10:11,740 No. 268 00:10:11,842 --> 00:10:13,642 The good news is, getting bullied 269 00:10:13,744 --> 00:10:15,343 will give you the drive to be rich. 270 00:10:15,445 --> 00:10:17,345 So, while he's kicking you, cover up 271 00:10:17,447 --> 00:10:20,015 and then think about what you're going to invent. 272 00:10:20,117 --> 00:10:21,783 A car made of cheese. 273 00:10:21,885 --> 00:10:24,452 So you can eat on long trips. 274 00:10:25,422 --> 00:10:27,188 You're gonna need a really big bully. 275 00:10:27,290 --> 00:10:29,424 [Chuckles] Whoa, whoa, whoa. 276 00:10:29,526 --> 00:10:30,925 Don't tell him that. 277 00:10:31,028 --> 00:10:33,028 Relax. You won't be bullied. 278 00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:35,430 But just in case, if anything happens, 279 00:10:35,532 --> 00:10:37,932 you need to fight back with the one thing 280 00:10:38,035 --> 00:10:39,834 that is stronger than your fists. 281 00:10:39,936 --> 00:10:40,902 A sword? 282 00:10:41,004 --> 00:10:42,604 No, your love. 283 00:10:42,706 --> 00:10:46,341 If they bully you, fight their hate by loving them. 284 00:10:46,443 --> 00:10:49,477 Just like Dr. King or Gandhi would have. 285 00:10:49,579 --> 00:10:52,514 Yeah, because everything worked out so well for them. 286 00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:55,150 [Sighs] 287 00:10:55,252 --> 00:10:57,118 All right, I know you two are really into 288 00:10:57,220 --> 00:10:58,420 that whole pageant thing, 289 00:10:58,522 --> 00:11:00,955 but I found something so much better... 290 00:11:01,058 --> 00:11:03,058 Rover Girls! 291 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:04,946 What year was this from? 292 00:11:04,993 --> 00:11:06,009 Oh, Santi, come on. 293 00:11:06,063 --> 00:11:07,996 Those pageant types, they're not our kind of people. 294 00:11:08,098 --> 00:11:09,631 They're shallow and superficial. 295 00:11:09,733 --> 00:11:10,832 But Rover Girls? 296 00:11:10,934 --> 00:11:13,868 These girls are smart, like you. 297 00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:15,403 Are you talking to the both of us? 298 00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:17,539 Yes. Both of you will love it. 299 00:11:17,641 --> 00:11:19,607 Rover girls do science and community service, 300 00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:23,211 and they prepare you to be upstanding young women. 301 00:11:23,313 --> 00:11:25,513 Didn't you say uniforms were fascist? 302 00:11:25,615 --> 00:11:28,583 Yeah, but... these are cute. 303 00:11:28,785 --> 00:11:31,019 [Grunts] 304 00:11:31,121 --> 00:11:33,354 Ohhh. So much anger. Okay. 305 00:11:33,457 --> 00:11:34,956 [Indistinct conversations] 306 00:11:35,158 --> 00:11:37,959 ♪♪ 307 00:11:38,061 --> 00:11:40,829 A husband who looks like you and pours you wine? 308 00:11:40,931 --> 00:11:42,097 How do I make a trade? 309 00:11:42,199 --> 00:11:44,099 [Laughter] 310 00:11:44,201 --> 00:11:46,835 Hold on. You all actually find him attractive? 311 00:11:46,937 --> 00:11:48,903 Uh, ladies, I want to welcome all of you 312 00:11:49,005 --> 00:11:51,973 and your strong, independent daughters to our home. 313 00:11:52,075 --> 00:11:53,942 Now, today, the girls can earn all sorts of badges 314 00:11:54,044 --> 00:11:56,177 to help them become well-rounded women. 315 00:11:56,279 --> 00:12:00,519 So, girls, let's start building your futures! 316 00:12:00,565 --> 00:12:01,493 [Girls laugh] 317 00:12:01,518 --> 00:12:03,985 Come on. It's gonna be amazing! 318 00:12:04,087 --> 00:12:06,488 I can see myself building a future with him. 319 00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:07,622 Ohh. 320 00:12:07,724 --> 00:12:08,990 I'm sorry. 321 00:12:09,092 --> 00:12:11,526 Can you point to what part of his face does it for you? 322 00:12:11,551 --> 00:12:13,217 Because I really don't see it. 323 00:12:13,286 --> 00:12:15,587 Mm. There's the beef. 324 00:12:15,705 --> 00:12:17,238 Y'all are nasty. 325 00:12:17,305 --> 00:12:19,768 [T La Rock's "He's Incredible!" plays] 326 00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:21,936 [Rapping] ♪ Passion fills the air ♪ 327 00:12:22,038 --> 00:12:24,126 These were totally the kind of smart girls 328 00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:25,704 I felt comfortable around. 329 00:12:25,790 --> 00:12:27,188 It felt like Dad was right. 330 00:12:27,266 --> 00:12:29,310 ♪ His cuts are quick to the bass drum kick ♪ 331 00:12:29,412 --> 00:12:32,080 [Record scratching] 332 00:12:32,182 --> 00:12:34,015 ♪ He's just incredible ♪ 333 00:12:34,117 --> 00:12:36,284 ♪ Kick it, kick it ♪ 334 00:12:36,386 --> 00:12:37,585 ♪ Kick it ♪ 335 00:12:39,222 --> 00:12:41,156 [Gasps] I see a blue jay! 336 00:12:41,258 --> 00:12:42,223 [Gasps] 337 00:12:42,325 --> 00:12:44,259 I see a family I'd rather live with! 338 00:12:44,361 --> 00:12:46,961 ♪ Fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh ♪ 339 00:12:47,063 --> 00:12:48,115 Hey, sweetheart. 340 00:12:48,180 --> 00:12:49,379 What's got you down? 341 00:12:49,466 --> 00:12:51,213 I wish I were kidnapped. 342 00:12:51,284 --> 00:12:53,057 Okay, you know what? That's enough. 343 00:12:53,135 --> 00:12:54,877 Maybe it's time you go to your room and not come out 344 00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:55,940 until you find a better attitude. 345 00:12:56,006 --> 00:12:58,072 Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you! 346 00:12:58,175 --> 00:13:01,709 Apparently, these moms think you're a "hot dad." 347 00:13:01,812 --> 00:13:02,911 I don't get it, 348 00:13:03,013 --> 00:13:05,113 but they have been drinking a lot of wine. 349 00:13:05,215 --> 00:13:07,949 What can I say? Triple threat. 350 00:13:08,051 --> 00:13:09,517 Go home somewhere. 351 00:13:09,619 --> 00:13:11,886 [Dramatic music plays] 352 00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:15,957 If it isn't the cry of the tiger. 353 00:13:16,059 --> 00:13:18,159 [Laughter] 354 00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:21,663 ♪♪ 355 00:13:21,765 --> 00:13:25,762 ALICIA: If they bully you, fight their hate by loving them. 356 00:13:25,825 --> 00:13:28,770 ♪♪ 357 00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:29,771 [Grunts] 358 00:13:29,873 --> 00:13:31,039 What are you doing?! 359 00:13:31,141 --> 00:13:32,173 I'm fighting your hurtful words 360 00:13:32,275 --> 00:13:34,275 with the strongest weapon of all... 361 00:13:34,377 --> 00:13:35,543 love. 362 00:13:35,645 --> 00:13:37,931 See? I told you love conquers all. 363 00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,614 Keep watching. 364 00:13:39,716 --> 00:13:41,749 Get off me, weirdo! 365 00:13:41,852 --> 00:13:43,484 No! Let me love you! 366 00:13:43,587 --> 00:13:45,361 [Spectators murmuring] 367 00:13:47,424 --> 00:13:49,457 Brody! What are you doing?! 368 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,060 Keep those elbows in. 369 00:13:52,162 --> 00:13:53,628 Turn those punches over! 370 00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:54,796 Oh! 371 00:13:54,898 --> 00:13:56,497 Hell no! 372 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:57,699 Ahh! 373 00:13:57,801 --> 00:13:59,701 Yeah, I'm not sure this is how 374 00:13:59,803 --> 00:14:02,437 Dr. King or Gandhi would've handled it. 375 00:14:02,539 --> 00:14:05,039 Let me know if I can get you any more wine. 376 00:14:05,141 --> 00:14:06,941 Okay. 377 00:14:07,043 --> 00:14:09,644 Look, Dad. My sash is almost full. 378 00:14:09,746 --> 00:14:11,446 I wonder if there's a badge for badges. 379 00:14:11,548 --> 00:14:13,948 I'm so proud of you, Bow! 380 00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:15,950 I just wish your sister could appreciate all this 381 00:14:16,052 --> 00:14:17,085 - [Door opens, closes] - as much as you. 382 00:14:17,187 --> 00:14:18,219 SANTAMONICA: You win, Dad. 383 00:14:18,321 --> 00:14:20,388 I found a badge I want to earn. 384 00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:21,789 Theater. 385 00:14:21,892 --> 00:14:24,826 I'm so proud of you! 386 00:14:24,894 --> 00:14:25,837 Hello. 387 00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:27,662 Let's use this table. Come on. 388 00:14:27,764 --> 00:14:29,697 All right, everyone, if I could get your attention. 389 00:14:29,799 --> 00:14:33,401 Santamonica has decided to earn her theater badge 390 00:14:33,503 --> 00:14:35,670 by doing a sock-puppet show. 391 00:14:35,772 --> 00:14:38,072 Mm! Those are some big socks. 392 00:14:38,174 --> 00:14:39,674 Are they yours? 393 00:14:39,776 --> 00:14:41,242 Ma'am, I'm cutting you off. 394 00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:42,877 [Clears throat] 395 00:14:42,979 --> 00:14:46,881 Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess 396 00:14:46,983 --> 00:14:49,017 who lived with her father. 397 00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:51,219 Your daughter is so cute. 398 00:14:52,188 --> 00:14:53,821 "Don't say 'cute'! That's patriarchy!" 399 00:14:53,924 --> 00:14:57,258 "But please, Father! I don't want to do Rover Girls! 400 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,826 I want to be cute." 401 00:14:58,929 --> 00:15:01,563 "Who cares what you want? I have a beard!" 402 00:15:02,666 --> 00:15:04,599 I can't believe this. Santi, stop. 403 00:15:04,701 --> 00:15:06,534 No! There's an hour and a half left. 404 00:15:06,636 --> 00:15:08,002 You two, let's go. 405 00:15:08,104 --> 00:15:09,871 "You two, let's go." 406 00:15:09,973 --> 00:15:12,009 [Whimpering] "Save me!" 407 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,942 That's enough. Okay. 408 00:15:14,044 --> 00:15:15,209 Mm. 409 00:15:15,312 --> 00:15:17,245 I'm watching you. 410 00:15:17,347 --> 00:15:20,481 [Indistinct arguing] 411 00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:21,816 Hi, guys. 412 00:15:21,918 --> 00:15:22,884 - Oh, hi. - Mom! 413 00:15:22,986 --> 00:15:24,452 Daddy won't let me be great! 414 00:15:24,554 --> 00:15:25,512 Stop it! 415 00:15:25,555 --> 00:15:26,715 Dad already said you're too young 416 00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,129 to know why you shouldn't do pageants. 417 00:15:28,213 --> 00:15:29,546 - PAUL: Exactly. - Wait. Why shouldn't she? 418 00:15:29,626 --> 00:15:31,025 Well, I pulled them out 419 00:15:31,127 --> 00:15:33,861 because all those people care about is being dumb and pretty. 420 00:15:33,964 --> 00:15:35,863 You would've done the same thing. 421 00:15:35,966 --> 00:15:37,365 No. I wouldn't have. 422 00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:39,267 Paul, you can't just make them quit stuff 423 00:15:39,369 --> 00:15:41,235 because you don't agree with it. 424 00:15:41,338 --> 00:15:43,471 H-Hold on. I thought we were on the same page... 425 00:15:43,573 --> 00:15:45,106 Gender-free parenting, 426 00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:48,176 not raising our daughters to be airheaded arm candy. 427 00:15:48,378 --> 00:15:50,244 I can't believe you. 428 00:15:50,347 --> 00:15:51,546 Honestly, I'm shocked. 429 00:15:51,648 --> 00:15:53,781 As a so-called feminist, you should know 430 00:15:53,883 --> 00:15:56,651 it's not your place to say what makes a good woman. 431 00:15:56,753 --> 00:15:57,785 Welcome to the club. 432 00:15:57,887 --> 00:16:00,021 All day, he's been trying to school me on that. 433 00:16:00,123 --> 00:16:02,357 Well, this one told my grandson 434 00:16:02,459 --> 00:16:05,026 that it's okay to cry at a dojo. 435 00:16:05,128 --> 00:16:06,294 No. 436 00:16:06,396 --> 00:16:08,830 You let Johan cry in karate? 437 00:16:08,932 --> 00:16:10,298 - What happened? - What do you think happened? 438 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,066 He got the brakes beaten off him. 439 00:16:12,168 --> 00:16:13,601 I did. 440 00:16:13,703 --> 00:16:15,169 I really did. 441 00:16:15,271 --> 00:16:16,571 Sis, you know better! 442 00:16:16,673 --> 00:16:19,073 You can't let this boy cry and let him be light-skinned. 443 00:16:19,175 --> 00:16:21,342 How would I not let him be light-skinned? 444 00:16:21,444 --> 00:16:22,510 I can't believe you. 445 00:16:22,612 --> 00:16:24,912 You should know there are basic man rules. 446 00:16:25,015 --> 00:16:26,414 We don't cry in public, 447 00:16:26,516 --> 00:16:28,483 we always leave a space between urinals. 448 00:16:28,585 --> 00:16:31,619 And when we buy you dinner, then we expect... 449 00:16:31,721 --> 00:16:32,887 dessert. 450 00:16:32,989 --> 00:16:34,989 I'm supposed to leave a space between the urinals? 451 00:16:35,091 --> 00:16:37,825 I always stand next to someone because I get lonely. 452 00:16:37,927 --> 00:16:39,460 I can't believe he turned this against me. 453 00:16:39,562 --> 00:16:41,295 I can't believe there's women besides you 454 00:16:41,398 --> 00:16:42,830 who find him attractive. 455 00:16:42,932 --> 00:16:44,465 PAUL: This is basic stuff. 456 00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:46,100 You don't let boys cry in karate, 457 00:16:46,202 --> 00:16:48,102 and I'm sorry if it makes me a hypocrite, 458 00:16:48,204 --> 00:16:50,271 but our daughters are better than pageants. 459 00:16:50,373 --> 00:16:51,939 I don't know who you think you raised. 460 00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,374 Santi, enough. 461 00:16:53,476 --> 00:16:54,809 Smart girls do Rover Girls. 462 00:16:54,911 --> 00:16:56,677 Dumb, pretty girls do pageants. 463 00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:58,112 Hold up. 464 00:16:58,214 --> 00:17:00,415 You don't think you're pretty? 465 00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:01,682 ♪♪ 466 00:17:01,735 --> 00:17:02,694 No. 467 00:17:02,719 --> 00:17:04,685 I'm smart, not pretty. 468 00:17:06,156 --> 00:17:07,722 Right, Dad? 469 00:17:07,824 --> 00:17:09,257 [Sighs] 470 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:12,693 ♪♪ 471 00:17:12,796 --> 00:17:14,929 Your maid took my wine. 472 00:17:15,899 --> 00:17:17,235 Hold up. 473 00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:21,367 BOW: My parents gave each other the silent treatment... 474 00:17:21,437 --> 00:17:23,194 for 35 minutes. 475 00:17:23,274 --> 00:17:25,374 Then they did what people who love each other do... 476 00:17:25,476 --> 00:17:27,643 pick a fight just to start talking again. 477 00:17:27,712 --> 00:17:30,186 - Where's our toothbrush? - How should I know? 478 00:17:32,194 --> 00:17:34,027 Hm. 479 00:17:34,129 --> 00:17:35,358 [Exhales sharply] 480 00:17:35,397 --> 00:17:37,250 - I screwed up. - No, we screwed up. 481 00:17:37,305 --> 00:17:38,327 I'm sorry. 482 00:17:38,383 --> 00:17:40,133 I thought we were good parents. 483 00:17:40,172 --> 00:17:42,500 Me too! But our son got beat up, 484 00:17:42,537 --> 00:17:44,170 our oldest daughter thinks she's ugly, 485 00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:46,005 and our youngest daughter hates us. 486 00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:47,927 I know! I was tucking her in, and she tried to bite me. 487 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:50,543 Are we doing it wrong? 488 00:17:50,646 --> 00:17:51,811 No. No! 489 00:17:51,913 --> 00:17:52,979 We're not wrong. 490 00:17:53,081 --> 00:17:55,649 Bullying is wrong. Misogyny is wrong. 491 00:17:57,085 --> 00:17:58,852 But pretending they don't exist 492 00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:01,588 isn't doing our kids any favors, either. 493 00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:03,723 Yeah, you're right. 494 00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:05,792 We can't teach them to be above it 495 00:18:05,894 --> 00:18:07,861 if we haven't taught them how to deal with it. 496 00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,462 Yeah. 497 00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:11,298 But you know what this means, though. 498 00:18:11,366 --> 00:18:15,101 If you say that Denise and Harrison were right, 499 00:18:15,203 --> 00:18:16,636 I'll bite you myself. 500 00:18:16,738 --> 00:18:18,538 - Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm. 501 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,474 Yeah, we... we really need to find that toothbrush. 502 00:18:21,576 --> 00:18:22,769 - [Clears throat] - Yeah. 503 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:23,731 - Yep. - Mm. 504 00:18:23,779 --> 00:18:24,711 Yep. 505 00:18:24,754 --> 00:18:25,712 - Uh-huh. - Yep. 506 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,747 I'm sorry if I made you feel like 507 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:30,016 women can't be smart and pretty. 508 00:18:30,118 --> 00:18:33,386 Women can be anything they want to be. 509 00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:35,399 Granddad said they can't be funny. 510 00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:37,757 [Sighs] Yeah. 511 00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:39,726 Granddad's not perfect. 512 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:42,996 And if I'm being honest, neither am I. 513 00:18:43,098 --> 00:18:45,231 I'm very sorry about how I acted. 514 00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:47,934 [Modern English's "I Melt With You" plays] 515 00:18:48,036 --> 00:18:50,704 That day, I learned that being a progressive parent 516 00:18:50,806 --> 00:18:53,202 means being honest about what you don't know. 517 00:18:53,241 --> 00:18:59,713 ♪ 518 00:18:59,815 --> 00:19:01,514 [Laughs] 519 00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:04,682 Everyone has ideas about how to raise the perfect child. 520 00:19:04,753 --> 00:19:06,853 ♪ ...using all my breath ♪ 521 00:19:06,955 --> 00:19:08,388 Hyah! 522 00:19:08,490 --> 00:19:09,756 [Applause] 523 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:11,891 But when those ideas become reality, 524 00:19:11,993 --> 00:19:13,426 things get more complicated. 525 00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,694 That's my boy! 526 00:19:14,796 --> 00:19:16,996 ♪ I saw the world... ♪ 527 00:19:17,099 --> 00:19:18,398 Oh, that type of crying is okay. 528 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,866 - Ah. - It's for sports. 529 00:19:19,968 --> 00:19:21,601 ♪ 530 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:22,857 Hey, honey. 531 00:19:22,926 --> 00:19:24,344 You look very sensible. 532 00:19:24,439 --> 00:19:26,506 ♪ ...always mesh and lace ♪ 533 00:19:26,608 --> 00:19:27,741 And pretty. 534 00:19:27,843 --> 00:19:29,008 ♪ I'll stop the world ♪ 535 00:19:29,091 --> 00:19:30,161 Thanks, Dad. 536 00:19:30,232 --> 00:19:32,045 ♪ And melt with you ♪ 537 00:19:32,147 --> 00:19:35,682 For such a difficult task, my parents did a great job. 538 00:19:35,784 --> 00:19:38,340 My brother turned out to be caring and sensitive. 539 00:19:38,434 --> 00:19:40,854 You guys, you guys! My baby birds hatched. 540 00:19:40,956 --> 00:19:42,722 My sister became a confident woman 541 00:19:42,824 --> 00:19:45,325 with her... own brand of feminism. 542 00:19:45,427 --> 00:19:47,740 "Rich Wives," season 4, August 20th. Watch. 543 00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:48,717 [Smooches] Bye! 544 00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:52,311 And I grew up to be a smart, accomplished, 545 00:19:52,389 --> 00:19:56,006 charismatic, vibrant, sexy, 546 00:19:56,092 --> 00:19:57,704 humble doctor. 547 00:19:57,806 --> 00:19:59,863 And that's all because my parents gave us 548 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,378 everything they could and just let us be us. 549 00:20:03,978 --> 00:20:05,548 - [Doorbell rings] - Coming! 550 00:20:07,532 --> 00:20:09,799 Oh! Um... 551 00:20:09,894 --> 00:20:11,235 I-I'm sorry. I-I... 552 00:20:11,295 --> 00:20:13,009 I thought this was where, uh, Paul lived. 553 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,587 You were here the other day, right? 554 00:20:14,669 --> 00:20:15,946 Mm-hmm. 555 00:20:16,017 --> 00:20:17,316 I'm his wife. 556 00:20:17,418 --> 00:20:18,479 - Ohhhh! - [Laughs] 557 00:20:18,542 --> 00:20:19,482 Yeah. 558 00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:20,986 - Oh. Okay. - Uh-huh. 559 00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:22,021 - Oh. - Yeah. 560 00:20:22,123 --> 00:20:23,389 - Okay. - Mm-hmm. 561 00:20:23,491 --> 00:20:25,324 - Ohh! - Mm! 562 00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:27,560 Gandhi would like me to hug you. 563 00:20:27,630 --> 00:20:29,334 But you need to leave. 564 00:20:29,389 --> 00:20:30,639 [Grunts] Okay. 565 00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,101 - [Grunts] - Now. 566 00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:33,176 Got it? 567 00:20:33,256 --> 00:20:34,604 Yep. Yep. 568 00:20:34,656 --> 00:20:35,955 Mm-ah! 569 00:20:36,048 --> 00:20:37,830 Oh! Wonderful. 570 00:20:38,762 --> 00:20:40,023 - Thank you! - Um... 571 00:20:40,077 --> 00:20:41,176 Good night. 572 00:20:41,254 --> 00:20:43,734 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 573 00:20:43,781 --> 00:20:45,935 She seems nice.40406

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