All language subtitles for Jane.the.Virgin.S03E17.720p.WEB-DL.2CH.x265.HEVC-PSA

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay, people, you recall
we last left our Jane

crushing on Fabian,
and, guess what,

the feeling was mutual.

Yeah, quite a kiss.

The kind of kiss
you can't wait

to tell your best friend about.

In Jane's case,
that would be Lina,

although we haven't
seen her lately. Hmm.

Anyway, also feeling
lovey-dovey-- Ro and Xo,

because they recently
got back together.

And they weren't
the only ones.

Remember Rafael and Petra's
night of passion?

Well, after,

Rafael started
having feelings for her.

(knock on door)

Unfortunately, Petra was dating
Chuck Chesser,

the owner of the hotel
next door.

And trust me, there was
a lot of drama there,

because a body was found
right between their properties.

Yep, it was Scott.

You remember Scott, right?

Sort of annoying,
kept a burn book,

always blackmailing people.

Married to Petra's
twin sister, Anezka.

Anyway, fast-forward
three years.

He's dead, and Anezka was
arrested for his murder.

And Petra was freaking out
because...

You better fix this,

or I will tell them
all that I know,

and then you, sister, will be
in orange jumpsuit with me.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know, straight out of

a telenovela, right?

Which this is, after all.

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva

was 14 years old,

she went on
her very first date.

Well, double date.

Kiss him.

(whispering):
I don't think he likes me.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
See?

People can surprise you.

I never said it was going
to be a good surprise.

Nope.

No way this was going to be
Jane's first kiss--

the one she dreamed about
forever.

JANE:
It's gonna be my first fling.

Fabian is perfect
fling material.

I'm definitely not
into dating him,

but, oh, he is the hottest guy
I have ever seen.

Yeah, it's kind of hard
to say no to that body.

Are they shooting
the tighty-whities scene?

How did you know that?

I saw it on Dad's script

and made a mental note
in my sex brain.

Wow, you are really ready
for this.

Totally ready.
He's perfect.

DIRECTOR:
Cut!
Okay, I got to go.

Your dad and I are
gonna grab lunch.

Wait. I miss you.

Maybe we can have dinner
tonight.

But tonight is
Fabian fling night.

Exactly.

I'm meeting him at 9:00

to Netflix and chill,

so that means...
XIOMARA: Sex.

I know.
I'm not your abuela.

I'll come over for dinner.

See you tonight.

Lina?

Jane!

Uh... I didn't know
you were in town.

Yeah, it was
a last-minute trip.

Two days to do
some wedding stuff.

Right. Yeah.

I was literally
about to text you.

Oh.
Ju... Yeah.

Well, here I am.

Surprise!

(chuckles weakly)

So let's see the ring.
Yeah.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I should explain.

These two haven't seen
each other in quite a while.

Almost two years,
to be exact.

And in that time,
a lot has changed for Lina.

Yeah, that's been their
main source of communication

ever since Lina moved away.

Oh, wow,

it's even better in person.
Thank you.

I was literally
about to text you.

Yeah, you said that already.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
So sad, right?

These two were like sisters.

No, sister, I didn't kill Scott!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Like regular sisters, I meant,

not like these two.

I loved him.
You know that.

So you better fix this,
or I will tell everyone

that you were in his
apartment that night,

and you stole his burn book.

I was only in his apartment
to get your clothes,

because you asked me to.

I didn't know he was dead.

Maybe you did this.

Maybe you killed him.

You always hated him.

That's ridiculous.
Stop it.

Did you do it?

Of course not.
I-I loved him.

Then why did you
threaten him?

The police say
they have a video.

Apparently a guest
sent it to them.

What?
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, I've seen the video.

It's pretty bad.

No. I hate you!

I wish you were dead.
Never come near me again!

Did you kill him?

No!

No, I couldn't have...

I don't think.

Okay, we have
to go over everything

that happened that day--
everything you can remember.

You guys were in a fight?

Yes, yes, he was flirting
with a waitress.

I got very jealous.
Scott was mad.

He hated when I
would get jealous,

but I can't help it.

In the orphanage,
you always have to

look out for your bread
and your boyfriend.

That night, Anezka...

Yes, I...
I got a text.

He was breaking up with me.

I texted him back...

...but he said no.

And that's when you found me.

PETRA:
Oh, no,

you poor thing.
(crying)

Let me help you.

I could get you out
on the first flight tomorrow.

I'll pack up your things.

That way you don't have
to see Scott again.
No...

No, no, really, it's...
it's not a problem.

You should just go.

ANEZKA: And then we be going
back to your penthouse,

and I be drinking
my sorrows away.

And that's all I remember.

I fall asleep on couch.

Well, you're on a video,

so you must have
gone back out

after I went back to work.

I was so drunk,
I can't remember.

But no, I couldn't
have killed him.

No, I loved him.

Oh, you know how
much I loved him.

Please, beautiful sister,
you have to fix this.

JANE:
I want to fix it, of course,

but I just can't believe
Lina came back to Miami

and didn't call me.

Yeah, Oprah and Gayle went
through something like this.

A few years ago,
Oprah was super busy

launching the Oxygen
network, and Gayle

was really feeling it,
so I suggested

they spend some
quality time together

at Colonial House.

One night was
all they needed

to get their friendship
back on track.

Would you and Lina be open
to something like that?

Thanks, Dad, but I think
I'll just talk to her.

MATEO:
Can somebody wipe me?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Pass.

Fine.

I'm sorry, I know it was just
supposed to be the two of us.

Oh, no need to apologize.

I'm just glad you two
are so happy.

We are.

But do you think
we're moving too fast?

Do you?

I-I don't know.
Maybe.

So talk to Dad about it.

I want to, but
every time I try,

we just end up
having sex.

Yeah-- oh, didn't need
to know that.

And just try again.

I mean, you can
wait five minutes.

Ha. Speaking of sex,

I have to go get dressed.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
So she can get undressed.

That's right, it's almost time
to Netflix and chill.

You know that this was
based on a true story.

There really was
a Queen Elizabeth.

Is. There still is one.

Hmm?

Doesn't matter.

You know, I actually
was hoping that

maybe tonight we could do
a little less Netflixing

and a little more chilling.

♪ ♪

(both moaning)

Mm, stop.
We should stop.

Why?

Well, I'm, um,
sort of saving myself.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Surprise.

You're a virgin?

No, no.
I've had sex.

Oh.
Lots of sex.
All kinds of sex.

Monogamous sex,
freaky sex,

kinky sex, hate sex,

love/hate sex,
ex sex, fan sex,

cougar sex,
Halloween sex...

Okay, I get it.
(chuckles)

But after a while,
it just became meaningless.

So I decided no more.

I'm gonna wait.

Mm... until it's...?

A meaningful commitment.

Maybe even marriage.

(wind blowing)

Got it. That's so cool.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Brr. Is it me, or did it get

pretty Netflix and chilly
in here?

Seriously, how did I find
the one telenovela sex symbol

that doesn't want a fling?

(sighs) It's not funny, Mom.
(door opens)

Good morning.

Mom, I got to go.

Abuela, you know the rules.

Only 15 minutes
of newspapers a day,

and never alone in your room.

Yes, things are bad, I know.

You should march with me.

Oh, I know something
that'll cheer you up.

Fabian won't
have sex with me

because he's
re-virginized himself.

I-I don't know, we
didn't get that far.

I was so surprised.

Anyway, I'm gonna end it.

What?

(clears throat)
No.

It's because we have
nothing in common.

And where did you
learn that term?

Me?

We just want different things.

(Mateo laughing)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Aw, just look at him, Jane.

If you don't give him a chance,
I will.

Hey.

Oh, hey. Mateo was
just teaching me

the proper way
to ride an ant.

You have to hold on
to his antenna.

Like this.
Ah.

Oh, well, I hate to
break up the party,

but it's time
to go home.

So go say bye
to Papa.
(grunts)

(chuckles)
Mwah.

Don't worry, I introduced myself
as Rogelio's friend, not yours.

I know how important it is
to have boundaries with kids.

I have a
little niece,

and she's my
very best friend.

See?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Geez, Jane, puppies.

What else does
the guy need to do?

He's perfect.

So when are we getting
together again?

I'm-I'm glad you asked.

Uh, sometimes when women hear
that I don't want to have sex,

they don't want to see me again.

You're kidding.
Ugh, people are the worst.

(chuckles)

Fabian, we're ready for you
in the dining room set.

Okay. Well, I'll text you
after I'm finished

climbing the giant candelabra.

Okay.
(both chuckle)

(sighs)

(sensual music plays)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Eyes up, Jane.

I know that look.

(sighs)

And I know that look, too.

It's piney Rafael.

I haven't seen him in years.

I'll see you soon.

Take care.
Bye.

Who was that?

Mm, the lawyer I hired
to represent Anezka.

You're helping your sister?

The same woman who paralyzed you

and tried to steal your life?

Okay, yes,
Anezka did some horrible things,

but she's no murderer.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oof,
that's a pretty low bar there.

Besides, she would have
never killed Scott.

She loved him for...

whatever reason.

That might be true.

But that's not why
you're helping her.

Fine.

Also...

it might be me in that video

threatening to kill Scott.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Some of
you might find this surprising.

I knew it as soon as I saw it.

I have a lot of experience
with twins.

Petra and Anezka
look nothing alike to me.

I just wanted them to end
their ridiculous relationship

and get Anezka to leave.

Tell me what happened.

Everything.

I'd had enough, so I fired him.

Effective immediately.

Are you forgetting
I have Emilio's will?

(scoffs) Rafael told his sister,
you idiot, it's meaningless.

Now hand over your
work phone and get out of here.

Then I texted Anezka
from his phone

and ended their relationship.

Later that night, I slipped
a little something

in Anezka's drink
just to help her sleep.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Also known as drugging her.

And then I made it
clear to Scott

that Anezka didn't want
to be with him anymore.

ANEZKA:
No! I hate you!

I wish you were dead!
Never come near me again!

My plan would've
worked perfectly.

Except then Scott had to go die
and ruin everything.

May he rest in peace.

So you've been lying
to the police this whole time?

I mean... high-level, yes,

but it only became relevant
when they ruled it a murder.

Look, I kept the truth from you

because I didn't want to
ask you to lie for me,

not when you're on probation.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay,

wipe that dopey look
off your face.

She said she doesn't want
you to go back to jail,

not have another baby with you.

I just need them to stop
focusing on my sister.

She couldn't have killed him,
she was drugged in my penthouse.

It must've been someone else.

I have a P.I.
I'll put him on it.

(door opens)
CHUCK:
Hey, babe.

Ready for lunch?

Yes, great.

CHUCK:
I'm telling you,

that pretty boy wants
to get in them shorts.

Oh, stop. You're
being ridiculous.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
He's not. I know the look.

Yup. There it is again.

Come on, Jane, you can do this.

Remember,
sex is off the table.
WAITER: All righty, mateys!

Something to nibble
as your night begins.

That pirate reminds me
of the time

(voice fades):
that my sister convinced me...

(sensual music plays)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, come on, Jane,

that's so not sexy.

And I love nachos.

Well, you're a mom,
what do you think?

Hmm? What? Yeah.

Um... I completely agree.

You agree that I'm going
to Mexico next month?

Maybe.

(chuckles)

Come, Jane. What's on your mind?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Think
of something, quick, Jane!

Lina. My best friend Lina
is in town...

and things are awkward.

(sneezes)

(sensual music plays)

(blows nose)
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay, this is just ridiculous.

Wiping your nose is never cute.

Oh.

Perhaps I spoke too soon.

Oh, right on time.

And I pushed back our dinner
so we can make love first.

Well, can we
actually just...

talk?

And I love you
and want to be with you,

but I just don't want to
make the same mistakes again.

I don't either, trust me.

And we've always moved so fast.

I mean, we said "I love you"
on Beach Day

in high school
after dating for a week.

And it was true, I did love you.

And I love you now.

And I've spent

the last three years adjusting
to life without you.

And it wasn't as good.

So we can slow down

if that's what you want.

But for my part,

we're not moving fast enough.

Is that all?
Mm-hmm.

This is America.

You should learn
how to speak English.

Ay.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
We all are, Alba.

We all are.

We, the people of
the United States,

in order to form a
more perfect union,

establish justice,

insure domestic tranquility.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Dang,
Alba's getting all P.C. on us.

Probably none.

Ay.

You should do something.

You clearly want to.

You should march.

Why not?

It won't.

Ay.

(doorbell rings)

That must be Lina.

Hola.
Ah!

You can look at my reflection
in the ring,

so you don't have to pick.

(Alba and Lina chuckle)

So... where's Danny?
(both chuckle)

Oh, he couldn't come.
That's too bad.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hmm.
If this is like riding a bike,

the bike is missing
its handlebars.

And both wheels.

Hi, Mr. Sweetface!
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

Hi, Mateo! Oh, my gosh,

you are so
grown up.

Look, I brought you a present.

Oh.

I don't know you,

and Mommy says not to take gifts
from strangers.

(both chuckle nervously)

Hey, Lina's not a stranger,
she's your godmother.

Then why don't I know her?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Awkward.

Let's get out of here, Jane.

Okay! Why are we still
standing here?
Yeah.

Let's-- come on in.

Have you set
a date yet?

No, not yet.
Oh.

But definitely
in the fall.
Mm.

I'm not doing bridesmaids
or anything like that.

No, I mean-- I wasn't...
(chuckles)

But, yeah. Fall is fun.

So tell me all about Danny.

You met online?

An app actually.

Bumble.
Hmm.

Oh, it's pretty cool.

The girls contact the guys,

so it weeds out any
weirdos stalking you.

You should try it.

When you're ready to date.

Oh. I am, actually. Dating.

Oh, wow.

Yay!
I mean--

but, I mean, no one seriously.

Okay.
Yeah.

Well, here, l-let me show you.

I-I still have it on my phone.

I just pooped

and you don't even have
to check my wipe.

Oh! Yes, I do.
(phone chimes)

Timmy says checking
is just for babies.

Well, Timmy is...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
A dick.

...wrong.

So let's go.

Wait, Jane.

Danny just texted.
It's terrible timing,

but this date just opened up
at this wedding venue

that was supposedly booked,

and his mom just got us
a last-minute appointment.

You're leaving?
I don't want to.

I'd beg them to move it,
but there's just no other time,

and we have a cake tasting

at 8:00, and I leave
tomorrow morning, so...

No, of course, I get it. Go.

I have a tush to wipe anyway.

Okay. I'm so, so sorry.

I'll text you.

Mm-hmm.

(softly):
Okay.

Whatever, I'm not waiting
by the phone.
(phone chimes)

It's Fabian.

(laughs) So, how's that,
how's that going?

Honestly, I'm like this
weird horndog around him.

It's all I think about.

Yeah.

It's hard dating someone
who doesn't put out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, how'd you do it?

Well, I gave myself
carpal tunnel, for one thing.

Oh, my God.
I can give you a list
of the Web sites I used.

Be serious!
I am being serious.

But I loved you, right?

So, I always knew
you were worth waiting for.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Aw.

(chuckles)

Well, I don't love Fabian.

(Petra talking indistinctly)

Raf?

Hmm?
(mocking):
Huh?

Oh, sor-- yeah, so just, uh,

find a way to take
Fabian's looks off the table.

What's with the piney look?

You were just staring at Petra
with this piney look.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Hate to say I told you so.

What's going on?

And I just had this moment,
when I was looking at her,

and I don't know.

It was like,
everything changed.

And, suddenly, I thought, maybe
what I've been looking for

has been right in front
of me this whole time.

I mean, maybe we just went
on this whole crazy journey

just to find our way
back to each other.

Sorry, I'm, I'm... I'm just...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Shocked?

Jealous?

A little of both?

Surprised, that's all.

I know.

I was surprised, too.

But I think I really want
to be with her.

What is it?

Nothing.

Just say it.

Drop some judgment on me.

Come on, I'm asking for it.

You think you want
to be with her, or you know?

Because it took her
a long time to get over you.

And as someone
who cares about Petra--

but do not tell her that
unless it's Saturday brunch...

I don't want to see her
get hurt... again.

So just be sure.

Before you open
everything up again.

That's all.

I know it's just something
you say when you're a kid,

but I honestly thought Lina and
I would be best friends forever.

Hmm?

(inhales)

Okay. How do I look?

That was a trick question.

It doesn't matter.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Good
point? Where are they going?

JANE:
This is fun, right?

FABIAN:
Uh, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Is it weird?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Very weird.

Where are we?

No, it's great.

I've always wanted to try this.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Try what?

Seriously? What's going on?

Ow.
Are you okay?

I just banged
my tooth with my spoon.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, I know.

They are...

Yup. It's the perfect place

for Jane to get to know
the real Fabian.

So, have you read
anything good lately?

Oh, yeah. I love magazines.

Plus, my scripts.

Hey, I bet you're a real reader.

You like books
and stuff, right?

Yeah. I like...
books and stuff.

Ow. I poked myself with my fork.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
All right,
I've had enough of this.

We need to see.

Uh, so are you
reading anything now?

Uh, well, because of everything
that's going on, Orwell.

The popcorn guy?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
It's okay, Jane.

You can roll your eyes.

He can't see.

(phone chimes)

MAN:
Hey! Turn that off.

WOMAN:
No phones in here.

Hey, I couldn't help
but notice your, your face

in your phone glow.

You seem sad. What's wrong?

It's my friend Lina.

I just have to accept that
things have changed with us.

It's like my abuela says,

in times of crisis,

you... learn
who your real friends are.

No! A real friendship
is worth fighting for.

Look, I haven't known
you for that long,

but you talk about Lina a lot.

You should talk to her.

She's leaving tomorrow.

That means you still got
tonight. Go to her!

Don't let her leave town
without telling her

how you really feel.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Spoken like a true
telenovela star.

(phone rings)
And speaking
of telenovela stars...

Okay, I hope you're excited,

because I can't wait
to show you this house.

It's perfect.

XIOMARA:
I'm sorry, but I have to cancel.

I've come down with something

and I'm home in bed, sick.

Oh. So, you are home,
in bed, sick right now?

Yep. I'm just lying under
the covers, feeling terrible.

Oh, well, I'll just, uh,
call the Realtor

and ask if we can reschedule.

Feel better.

PETRA:
Wait, what?

ELVIS: I said, I reviewed
all their evidence,

and I also analyzed
the graphic residue

on the missing page of the
burn book through a light box.

Got it.

Sorry, I'm just so used
to seeing you

as an incompetent
maintenance man,

this whole P.I. thing
is just a little much

to wrap my mind around.

Just tell her what you told me.

There was some writing
in the corner that Scott erased.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Wait, J.P.?

As in the elusive
mystery person

the cops have been looking for?

Shake him down?
Yeah.

Definitely doesn't sound good.

Bar's in Pensacola.

I'll head over this weekend
to check it out.

We identify J.P.,
then we drop an anonymous tip

to the cops,
let them do the rest.

Perfect. Thank you.

This is good. Right?

A way to get your sister off
and not implicate you.

This J.P. could be our answer.

What?

And in that moment, friends,

she was reminded
of what Chuck said.

I'm telling you, that pretty boy
wants to get in them shorts.

(sighs)

Uh, I'm sure this
is a stupid question,

but... do you have
feelings for me?

Like...

romantic feelings.

And in that moment, friends,

he was reminded
of what Jane said.

Just be sure.

What? No.

Of course not.
Oh, oh. Phew.
Okay, good.

(laughs)
Good.

(both laugh)

Mmm. That's so good.

WAITER: I'm sorry, we're closed
for a private event.

Oh, she just wants to speak
to her very best friend Lina.

Jane?

Surprise.

What are you doing here?

Uh...
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Well,

this really hot telenovela star
said to run to you.

Well, I knew you were
leaving town tomorrow,

and I just wanted to meet
Danny before you left.

Hi, Danny, I'm Jane.

Hi. I've heard so
much about you.
Oh.

Would you like to stay?
Yes!
Oh, no, no, no.

This is your cake testing.
Yes, we'd love to, I love cake.

We shouldn't have
come. No, no, no.

No, we should go.
Ay, don't be ridiculous.

There's no way
they could eat this much cake.

No, stay, for sure.

(sighs)

FABIAN:
Danny, let's let

the ladies catch up.
Where are you from?

Who are your enemies?

Uh, no one?

And I'm from New York.

I'm sorry for all of this.

I... I just felt like
it was really weird earlier.

I know, it was.
DANNY:
I had a great meeting
with our Miami office

when Lina and I were
in town last June.

Wait.

Wait, you were here in June?

Just for a couple days.

You didn't call me then, either?

FABIAN:
W-Well, at least she called you

th-this time, right? Right?

Oh, I feel like such an idiot.

No, no.
I've been chasing after you,

and you obviously don't
want to be friends.

Of course I do.

You disappeared.
That's not fair, I moved.

That's not what I'm talking
about and you know it.

Yes. Now we're getting
somewhere.

Who is this guy?

Oh, uh, Fabian.
And we're dating.

No, we are just getting
to know each other.

Can we talk about this
in the bathroom?

Fine.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay, so where were we?

I did not abandon you. I saw
you every week that first year.

The second year was even harder.

You could've tried
to stay in touch.

I did try.
No, you didn't.

After you met Danny,
you stopped calling.

That's not what happened.

Okay, so?

I called you at first.

And then Danny and I
had our first fight,

about a month in,
about something stupid.

He, he was in touch
with his ex-girlfriend,

and I remember,
I called you then, too.

And you said...

It's all insignificant
in the big picture.

I mean, I'd give anything

to have one more fight
with Michael.

Yeah.

That, that's a good point.

Oh, my God.

I didn't really say that.

I mean, I get it.
In the scheme of things...

No, no. You were,
you were falling in love,

you were living.

I just, I really didn't know

how to be upset around you
in a regular way.

Or happy around you.

And I really wanted to be happy.

I'd waited so long
for my life to click together,

and finally it was.

No.

I get it.

(sniffles)
I'm sorry.

No, you shouldn't be sorry.

I'm just so glad you're happy,

and I want to share
that with you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Aw.

How sweet.

Sisterhood.

Shut your mouth,
beautiful sister.

They want information,

I'm giving them you
in his apartment.

Stop, just calm down, okay?

I've hired a P.I.,
he's following a lead,

I-I just need some time.
Sister!

I have hearing Monday
on plea deal.

I need to get out of here.

And you will.
I-I just, I need until then.

Okay? I'll call you tomorrow
with an update.

Oh, I have to call Rafael,

get the P.I. to head out now.

Ah, screw Rafael.

Let's not wait on him.

Let's you and me drive

to Pensacola,
find this J.P. guy ourselves.

But why?
Rafael has a professional.

Oh, Solano, don't make me
spell it out for you.

You never need help, woman.

And now you do.

And I want to be the guy
that helps you.

Uh, l-let's do it.

JANE: I can't believe
that was your first kiss.

I know.

(both laugh)

Okay.

Can we talk about Fabian now?

Oh, my God,
so not a match.

I'm gonna need you to
show me Bumble again.

Find some real options.

Wait, why isn't he
a real option?

He's waiting to have sex
and I just want a fling.

Okay. I find both shocking.

(giggles)

Waiting how long?

Oh, until things are
serious, and trust me,

it's not going
to get serious.

How do you know?

He's too...

Hot? Sweet? Happy?

No, we're just
really different.

He doesn't read.

Neither do I.

(laughs)

I mean, I'm just saying,

on paper, you and I
don't have much in common.

So don't write him off just
because you two are different.

People surprise you.
(laughs)

And I like happy for you.

I'm just--
that's all I'm saying.

I like it for you, too.

Okay, why do we always end up
on the bathroom floor?

Oh, I don't know.
I don't...

But I'm glad that
we always do.

I don't want to say it to you.

Okay.

It's hard sometimes.

This is America.

You should learn how
to speak English.

¿Sí?

So, Daddy called because he said
you're upset about something.

Yeah.

Why do some people not want
Bisa in this country?

Well, that's actually
a really good question

and a really hard question

because this country
was founded by people

who came from all over,
like your great-grandma,

because they dreamed of a better
life with more opportunity.

But some people, well,
they can't see that,

and that's just
a stinky, old fact.

That is stinky.

But no one is taking Bisa away,

so you don't have to worry
about that at all, okay?

Okay. Come on, Mr. Sweetface,

let's go change you before bed.

(grunts)
Kiss.

(phone beeps)

(Jane chuckles)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
"Chuck and I"? Ouch.

Hmm?

Rogelio.

I'm sorry for canceling
on you and lying to you.

I just realized

that I wanted to do things
differently this time.

Oh, my God, oh, my God,
I'm going to faint.

Who knew when we first said
"I love you" on Beach Day...

I love you, Xiomara.

I love you, too, Rogelio.

...that we'd end up here.

(sighs)

We've been through
so much together

and so much without each other.

And life is beautiful and hard,

and the only thing
I know for sure

is that I want to go
through it all with you.

I had Botox this morning,

so the tears
are struggling to fall,

but I feel them.

It belonged to my father.

Rogelio de la Vega,

will you marry me?

(chuckles)

Yes, yes, of course I will.

(cries)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Aw, what can I say?

Every single time these two
get engaged, it gets me.

All right, let's keep
this romance train rolling.

Jane.

I'm so happy you're here.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Come on, give him a try, Jane.

Try to get to know him.

Well, our date
was interrupted, so...

I'm just really glad that you
made up with your friend Lina.

Friendship is
everything to me.

That's a really great quality.

(chuckles)

I thought you said
you never read 1984.

I hadn't, but after
our conversation I bought it.

I'm almost finished.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Like I said,
people can surprise you.

How do you not have a corkscrew?

Well, I had it.

I just lost it when I was drunk.

Your album?

You can't just throw
that out there.

You sing? Are you good?

No, I'm terrible,

but that doesn't matter
when you're famous.

It's all sound engineers,
I swear.

Sing this next verse.

(off-key):
♪ Mi corazón en fuego ♪

♪ Tus labios deseo. ♪

Yes!

Victory.
Wow.

You really are amazing
at checkers.

So, yeah, I waited
until marriage

and I'm glad that
I did, but now...

Things are different.

I understand.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Is it just me,

or does this sort of feel
like one of those nights?

So, have you ever been in love?

Once...

but then I got famous

and people became different.

That's why I decided to put sex
on the back burner for a while

to prioritize what
I really want... love.

Plus, I wanted to get in
better with the big guy.

Jesus.

(laughs)

I love your laugh.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You know,
the kind that goes on forever.

Well, who knows?

But it certainly was
a night of possibilities...

...for some people.

Hi, you've reached Petra Solano.
Please leave a message.

(voice mail beeps)

Hey, um...

look, I know when you
asked me before, I denied it,

but the truth is...

I do have feelings for you.

And I know you are with Chuck...

but I don't know,
I guess I'm calling

because I wanted to say,
before it's too late,

that you shouldn't be.

You should be with me.

I loved Scott.

Like I be telling you,
I wouldn't kill him.

I would want to kill
whoever killed him.

Rip them to pieces.

Ooh, that's enough.

So, there's nothing
you're not telling us?

Scott's burn book
mentioned someone named J.P.

Do those initials
mean anything to you?

Oh, you mean Jerky Pants?

What?

J.P. is short for Jerky Pants.

It's what we used
to call the horrible man

who wanted to buy
hotel next door

because he was always eating
jerky of the gators.

Wait.

Chuck Chesser is J.P.?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, no, but Chuck is with...

Like I said,
people can surprise you.