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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay, here we go. Let's start with our Jane.
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00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,239
As a child her grandmother
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00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,041
taught her to protect her flower.
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00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,743
And so Jane waited to have sex
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00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:12,578
until she married Michael.
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And then, well... you know.
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Yeah. I still miss him, too.
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00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,717
But it's been three years, and since then,
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Jane wrote a novel about their love story.
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And she recently decided she was ready to date again.
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Also ready to date, Alba.
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00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,361
See, she was crushing on her coworker Jorge,
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00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,063
and guess what. He asked her out.
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00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:33,632
And as for Rafael, well, he'd recently gotten closer
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00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,567
to his ex-wife Petra.
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00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:39,238
In fact, he was downrightinto her, lately. Only problem,
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00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,141
Petra was dating Chuck, the owner of the hotel next door.
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Plus, Petra had other problems.
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See, her former employee, Scott,
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00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,147
died on the grounds of the Marbella.
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And Scott used to be married
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00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,784
to her twin sister Anezka.
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00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:53,485
But Anezka was long gone,
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00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,754
and according to Petra, they were no longer in touch.
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But here's the thing-- Petra was lying.
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And the cops were on to her.
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Oh, and speaking of crime,
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00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,729
you'll recall Rafael's sister Luisa
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00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,831
was dating Eileen, but Eileen
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00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:08,233
is really her old girlfriend, Rose,
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00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,152
aka the crime lord Sin Rostro.
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I know, straight out of a telenovela, right?
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And speaking of telenovelas,
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Rogelio got a huge new part
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playing someone very tiny.
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Unfortunately, he felt chilly about his new costar Fabian.
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But Jane was positively hot for him.
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I know, right? I'm getting the tingles, too.
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So let's get busy, people.
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Ah, lust!
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Jane Gloriana Villanueva
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would never forget the first time she felt it.
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MAN (on TV):
Magdalena.
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(woman moaning)
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Unfortunately, she was sitting between her mother
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and grandmother at the time.
(woman moans)
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Más!
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Más! Más!
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, I'm uncomfortable, too.
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I'm gonna do some homework.
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
So, yeah,
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00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:08,260
they clearly didn't want to talk about it.
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00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,696
But, oh, how times have changed.
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Tell me everything.
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About what?
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00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,668
Come on, you're clearly
crushing on Fabian.
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I am not.
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00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,139
I am reading an article...
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about how underboob
is the new side boob.
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00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:24,643
Oh, please. You've been finding
the most ridiculous excuses
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to go see your father on set.
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
True, for the record.
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You forgot
your sides at home.
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♪ ♪
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We shot this yesterday.
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(sexy music plays)
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JANE:
Más...
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Más... Más...
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Fine. I may have
a small crush
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in that he may excite me
in a superficial way.
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So make a move.
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Mom, he dated Miss Universe,
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Shakira's backup dancer,
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and Gisele Bundchen's twin.
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00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,179
For someone
who's not interested,
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00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,580
you sure know a lot about him.
I'm just saying
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that I'm not his type.
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00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:03,949
And-and he's not my type.
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00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,184
Maybe not to date.
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00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:06,585
But what about a fling?
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00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:07,719
You ever open to that?
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With him?
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Oh, yeah.
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(laughs)
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(woman moans)
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So, just casual sex?
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No strings.
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Why not, right?
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I mean, I waited.
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00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,684
I did it.
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00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:41,620
But now, like,
everything's changed,
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00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,422
and, you know, what...
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00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,990
Oh.
(clears throat)
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She says with
an extra helping
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of guilt.
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00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,466
Not everyone wants
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to be celibate, Mom.
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00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,836
Hey, how did Jorge
take it?
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Hmm?
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00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,306
When you told him you
weren't gonna have sex.
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00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:05,477
Oh, my God,
you didn't tell him.
Ma.
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00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,550
JANE:
No kidding.
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Would you like me to give you
the advice you gave me?
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No.
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00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:20,525
Need a flower to destroy
in your angry fist?
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00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:21,893
Oh.
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00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,962
(phone ringing)
Oh.
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00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:28,367
Hey, Jeremy, what's up?
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00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,402
Wait, what?
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00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:33,005
So... that's it?
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00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:35,741
A big part of writing is knowing
when to put the pen down.
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Pen down.
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I love it.
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The plot really moves,
the emotional payoff is huge...
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and it's romantic as all hell.
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Ah.
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ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
www.PSArips.com
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I can't believe I'm done.
Well, not done.
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Writing's only
the half of it, right?
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Now the fun part begins.
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We gotta drop it like it's hot.
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I'll bring the pot holder.
Great.
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00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,371
I set up a meeting with the
marketing and PR departments...
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00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:07,806
So they can figure out
how to market it
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00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,808
to booksellers and audiences.
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00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,376
That's amazing.
I know.
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00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:12,944
Anyway, what's up?
Why'd you call?
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00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,080
Ah, it's terrible timing.
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00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:18,317
What is?
Luisa's coming in tomorrow.
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00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:21,353
And we're pushing up
our annual shareholder meeting.
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Yeah, no problem.
I'll keep Mateo till she's gone.
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Can't blame them for being a little skittish
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around the ex-girlfriend of the woman who kidnapped their son.
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00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,995
I'm sorry for messing up
the schedule.
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00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,030
I just wish she would give us
notice for once.
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00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,399
It's fine.
(knocking on door)
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00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,701
I'll talk to you later.
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00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,803
Thank you, Jane. Bye.
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00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,407
So we set?
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know what you're thinking.
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Are we finally going to find out
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00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,811
what this shady dude is up to?
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00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:48,480
Yup, Luisa's suite is bugged.
And she won't find anything?
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00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,649
No way. I went in through
Petra's vent.
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00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,050
But trust me, if Rose tries
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to get in touch with your
sister, we'll know.
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00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,854
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yup. Elvis isn't an ex-con
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00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,123
or a maintenance man; he's Raf's private eye.
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That explains a lot.
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00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,060
Or rather, I just explained it.
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00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,963
Good. My family will never feel
completely safe
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00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,065
until Rose is locked up
for good.
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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know,
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00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,469
straight out of a telenovela, right?
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Also known as a scientist.
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00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,836
Again, scientist.
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DIRECTOR:
And cut!
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Fantastic.
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00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:03,121
It must be nice not to have to
worry about your body anymore.
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00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,123
Sometimes I feel
like a sex object.
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00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,060
It must be very
hard for you.
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00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,929
Not really, no.
So listen, Ro,
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00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,898
do you want a stunt double for
when you swing from her hair?
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00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,433
Well, I-I-I'd be
happy to do it.
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00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:15,867
I was an award-winning
stunt double
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before I discovered my talent
and passion for acting.
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00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:19,938
Rogelio de la Vega
does his own stunts,
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00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,640
thank you very much.
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00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,941
You're very welcome.
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00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,477
Selfie? Yeah?
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ELLIE:
No more pictures.
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We're just taking a test.
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For the Gifted and Talented
program. That's a big deal!
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Critters.
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I see critters.
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00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,188
(laughing):
Oh.
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Oh, now, why are
my legs so heavy?
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00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,826
Did I step in something?
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00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,628
I didn't know the girls
were hanging out with Chuck.
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00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,164
What happened
to our six-month rule?
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00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,200
You waited six months
to tell them about Abbey
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00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:50,235
and then broke up
with her anyway.
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00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,604
Besides, they only know
Chuck as Mommy's friend.
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00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:53,905
Hmm.
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00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:57,008
Hey, girls,
who's this guy?
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Mommy's boyfriend.
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00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:02,180
Smoochie, smoochie.
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00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,182
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Well, they are gifted and talented.
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00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,153
Not again.
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00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,055
I already told you guys
everything I know.
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00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,590
DANA:
Yeah, well,
unfortunately,
191
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:14,092
there are a couple of
holes in your story.
192
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,861
JANE:
My story.
193
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:18,663
Me, 90 seconds. That's all
they need for the PR meeting.
194
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,932
A snapshot to help
sell the book.
195
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,901
Well, you can start
practicing now with Fabian.
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00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,670
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, yes. Jane and her wing mom.
197
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,839
Don't worry.
I have a plan.
198
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,274
What are those?
199
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,609
FABIAN:
Oh, my God.
200
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,577
Goji berries!
I love those so much!
201
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,746
Are you serious? They're, like,
my favorite snack.
202
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,182
No way. What
a coincidence.
203
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,050
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Or the result of a deep dive
204
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,653
Internet search.
Have one, please.
205
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,766
Look at this. My hair is a mess,
my forehead is shiny,
206
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,903
I'm holding a doughnut,
and he didn't even use a filter.
207
00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,538
You look fine.
Exactly.
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00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,573
"Fine."
209
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,042
Fabian is clearly sabotaging me.
210
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,710
What?
He's trying
to get in my head.
211
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,212
First he comments on my weight,
212
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,147
then on my ability
to do my own stunts.
213
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,950
I am telling you, this is
an All About Eve situation.
214
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,219
Are you sure you're not
overreacting?
215
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,820
This is exactly what happened
in my telenovela,
216
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,822
No Eres Tú, Yo Soy Yo, Somos Nosotros.
217
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,158
One character tries to
sabotage another character?
218
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,192
What?
219
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,128
No, I did it in real life.
220
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,263
Have you ever heard
of Eduardo Espinosa?
221
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,132
No.
Exactly.
222
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,267
What?
223
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,137
Wh-Wh-Wh... ?
224
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,139
Why is Jane
giggling like that?
225
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,640
Take a deep breath.
226
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,576
She might have
a little crush.
227
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,344
That's ridiculous. Jane
would never be interested
228
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,279
in that throw pillow.
Why do you think
229
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,949
she's been making excuses
to come see you all week?
230
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,319
First he goes after my stunt,
231
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:49,287
and now my daughter?
232
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,089
Fasten your seat belt,
233
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,659
it's going to be
a bumpy afternoon.
234
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,027
FABIAN:
So I massage my kale
235
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,196
for half an hour
with olive oil.
Wow.
236
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,981
That's amazing.
237
00:09:59,982 --> 00:10:01,765
I think super foods
are just so... super.
238
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,234
(laughs)
239
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:06,605
Excuse me, may I talk to my
daughter privately?
240
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,206
Dad, where are we... what?
241
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,241
Dad, what are you...?
242
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,344
Dad, what is your problem?
243
00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:15,246
My problem is that you've been
pretending to come visit me
244
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,049
to ogle Fabian's bee-stung lips.
245
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,852
That's right.
Your mother told me
246
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,388
all about your unholy
mega-crush on Fabian.
247
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,257
And I forbid it.
248
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,859
(gasps)
249
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:39,304
See, Dad, look around.
Actual walls for privacy!
250
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,207
I am sorry, Jane. I didn't
mean for Fabian to overhear.
251
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:45,076
I'm just concerned. The
guy's a total playboy.
252
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,245
I just don't want you
to get your heart broken!
253
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,647
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I don't think
254
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,081
Jane's thinking about her heart.
255
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,384
I know.... but I'm an adult.
256
00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:54,786
I can handle myself.
257
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:57,756
Fine. I'll talk to Fabian
and make things better.
258
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:03,028
No! Dad, you need to stay out
of it and let me handle it.
259
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,301
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, I bet you'll handle it, Jane.
260
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,736
Jane!
(laughs)
261
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,204
Oh, uh, sorry.
Forgot something.
262
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,939
So embarrassed.
263
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:18,176
(sighs)
264
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,378
Ay. Better.
265
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,447
What's up?
266
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,049
I just wanted to clear that up.
267
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,750
I do not have a crush on you.
268
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,185
My dad is a little
overprotective.
269
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,387
Well, don't worry.
I totally understand.
270
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,855
You're his little daughter.
271
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,390
Not little.
272
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,693
Well, then again,
I'm tiny on the show.
273
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,929
We need you
in your fitting.
Well, bye, Jane.
274
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,698
I'm bringing you those
chia seeds tomorrow, eh?
275
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,199
You're gonna die.
Oh.
276
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,201
Right. Cool!
277
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,402
Actually, the opposite of die.
278
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,870
You're gonna live
super extra long!
279
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,405
Oh.
280
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,407
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Stop leering, Jane.
281
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:52,343
You, too, Alba.
282
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,351
(groans)
283
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,158
Ay.
284
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,794
(whipping)
285
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,331
Stop it,
both of you!
286
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,333
I am so, so sorry.
Let's go.
287
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,740
Hmm.
288
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,375
Hmm.
289
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:28,146
(gasping)
290
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,415
Jorge.
291
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,790
(chuckles)
292
00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:57,108
(sighs)
293
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,821
DANA:
No. We're not done.
294
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,256
Your client's
story isn't true.
295
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,258
We tapped
her computer.
296
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,426
Is that legal?
With a subpoena, yes.
297
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,562
Which we got after finding out
that you had just scooched
298
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,497
Mr. Archuletta's bones over
to Mr. Chesser's property.
299
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,466
DENNIS:
You said you didn't know
where your sister was,
300
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,402
and you lied.
You've been e-mailing her.
301
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,905
You don't have to say anything.
It's fine.
302
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,573
I've been sending her money.
303
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:31,109
Yes, but it's just
to keep her away.
304
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,478
It has nothing
to do with Scott.
305
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,446
And I didn't
tell you earlier
306
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:39,517
because, well, it's a personal
family drama between us.
307
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,322
DENNIS:
Well, we need
to question Anezka.
308
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,591
So you need to convince her
to return to Miami.
309
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,159
I'd really prefer not to.
310
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,527
Oh.
311
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,162
Well, it's your choice.
312
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,565
Of course, if you don't,
we'll charge you
313
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,500
with obstructing
a police investigation.
314
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,368
On account of lying to us.
315
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,537
Oh, and the bones.
316
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,607
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And speaking of criminal enterprises...
317
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,443
You remember Luisa, right?
318
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,582
And of course, her girlfriend, Eileen,
319
00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:12,851
who, you'll recall, is actually...
320
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,421
Which makes Luisa...
321
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,590
EILEEN:
Do you like them?
322
00:14:18,592 --> 00:14:20,592
Yes, thank you.
323
00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:22,427
Well, you look
so good in linen.
324
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,494
LUISA:
And...
325
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,196
(rolling her tongue)
326
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,065
These are for Mateo.
327
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,200
Mm.
I want my nephew
to know that
328
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,869
he has an auntie
that loves him,
329
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,570
even if I'm not
allowed to see him.
330
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,506
Even though he wouldn't exist
if it wasn't for me.
331
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,575
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, I wouldn't brag about that, Dr. Alver.
332
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,611
I'm just going
through some personal problems.
333
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:42,947
And these are
for the twins.
334
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:45,583
Mm.
Who I also hope
to meet very soon.
335
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:48,119
Yes. Great.
We'll see.
336
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,588
So, Raf, we saw a bunch
of cops around outside.
337
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,323
What's that about?
338
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,558
They're investigating
Scott's death.
339
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,895
I thought it was an accident.
340
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:59,464
Yeah, well,
now they're not so sure.
341
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:00,665
Did you...?
342
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:01,633
(mouths)
343
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,203
You know how hard it is
for me to fall asleep
344
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,671
when I'm not in my own bed,
345
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,239
so I got this contraption
that makes wave sounds.
346
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,608
(loud wave sounds playing)
347
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,677
(whispering):
Of course I did
not kill Scott.
348
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:14,545
(quietly):
Oh, we were here
right around then.
349
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,314
Are you saying
it was just a coincidence?
350
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,416
Yes, because we were
together that whole trip.
351
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,385
We sent away the real Eileen,
and then we made love.
352
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,220
There was no time for me
to have murdered him.
353
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,522
But you did leave
the room once. Remember?
354
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:27,492
I had to stop having sex
and then take a shower
355
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,594
'cause the lotion
we were using gave me a rash?
356
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,996
And then we figured we might
as well get some Chinese?
357
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:35,033
And then, while I showered,
you went to get the food.
358
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,435
No, I was going to go
pick up the Chinese food,
359
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,636
but we ended up
having it delivered,
360
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,505
and the concierge
brought it up to us.
361
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:42,106
Because at that point,
362
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,442
the oil was starting to
bother me, too, remember?
363
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,111
(sighs)
364
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,580
And this is why I hate
coming to the Marbella,
365
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,517
because we always
start fighting.
366
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,285
I know.
367
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,120
You're right.
368
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,723
We need to switch
rooms, just in case.
369
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,725
In case what?
370
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:03,161
In case the cops are
here because of us...
371
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,330
and your room is wired.
372
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,598
You're being paranoid.
373
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,667
So, yes,
I was strongly influenced
374
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,970
by the telenovelas
I grew up watching.
375
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,706
But also by the romance novels
I grew up reading.
376
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:18,142
And I think you feel
both influences in my book.
377
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,610
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Relax, Jane.
378
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,612
You have a whole two seconds of wiggle room.
379
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,182
You're gonna crush this meeting.
380
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,651
So, you probably want
to hear a little about me.
381
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,219
Where to start?
382
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,654
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
You're spiraling, Jane.
383
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,356
You've practiced enough.
384
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:33,124
Play chapter three.
385
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,692
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Good, yes.
386
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,694
A nice, juicy novel will help you relax.
387
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,696
MAN:
Chapter three: selling yourself.
388
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,198
Let's start with posture.
389
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,000
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oy.
390
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,468
Imagine a string
391
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:46,637
attached to the crown
of your head, pulling upward.
392
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,374
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here... now.
393
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,410
So, you probably want
to hear a little about me.
394
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,178
Oh, stop. We know
all about you.
395
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,414
The artificial insemination,
the virgin birth,
396
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:59,050
the kidnapping,
your husband's tragic death.
397
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:01,419
Oh, wow.
398
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,788
Well, it's an amazing
backstory, and the fact
399
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:06,724
that it's all
thinly veiled in there--
400
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:10,161
well, it gives us
a real angle to market.
401
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,096
Right. Yes.
402
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:13,631
Uh, here's the thing.
403
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,334
I know it's a wild story,
but I actually think
404
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:19,404
that if it's out there,
it would kind of take over.
405
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,239
And it was
pretty traumatic,
406
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,742
so I don't really want to talk
about any of that publicly.
407
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:27,412
What?
I just want
to stick to the book.
408
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,813
Answering questions like
409
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,782
process, influences.
410
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,750
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Remember the string, Jane.
411
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:36,287
Uh, it's sort of a combination
of the telenovelas
412
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,256
that I watched growing up,
plus the American...
413
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:41,492
But if you talk about your life,
we can get you interviews.
414
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,795
Print, radio.
415
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:45,763
The Miami book fair's
this weekend.
416
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,332
Maria Semple is moderating.
417
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:49,767
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, my God!
418
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,436
One of her favorite authors!
419
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,371
And mine. Okay, freaking out a little.
420
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:54,839
Come on, Jane.
421
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,075
I'm sorry.
422
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,143
I really want the work
to stand on its own.
423
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:03,181
Okay, well, uh, I think
we have all the info we need.
424
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,783
We'll confer
and then get back to you
425
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,685
about the size
of the initial print run.
426
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,288
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Wow. All in under 90 seconds.
427
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,831
I know everyone's upset.
428
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,466
But we hadn't talked
about that past stuff.
429
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,167
I didn't think
it was a secret.
430
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:27,238
I mean, is that why you
wanted to publish my book?
431
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,307
No. I liked your writing.
432
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,709
And I realized the marketing
team could sell you.
433
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:34,612
It's all connected.
434
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,482
Listen, it is what it is.
435
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,750
I still love your writing, and
I think people are gonna buy it.
436
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:43,321
It's just, the print run
is not as big as I had hoped.
437
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,822
What's the number?
438
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,290
10,000 copies.
439
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,692
Oh.
440
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,127
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Not great, FYI.
441
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,561
How are my chances
of getting into that book fair?
442
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,497
What's your social media
presence?
443
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,599
Snapchat, Instagram,
Twitter followers?
444
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:58,669
You know... not as
many as I'd like.
445
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,309
(sighs)
Too bad.
446
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,345
A big social media
following makes them think
447
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,780
you'll draw attendees, which is
what the organizers are after.
448
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,716
How many followers do I need
to get into the fair?
449
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,485
20K, minimum,
but there's no way in hell
450
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,220
you're gonna get that many
followers that quickly.
451
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:22,560
I happen to have a social
media expert in my family.
452
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,695
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Now that's a Twitter feed!
453
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,597
Jane, hi!
454
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,833
Don't worry. I assure you
I am not here to see you.
455
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,701
I just came to get
help from my dad.
456
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,503
Oh, he pulled a muscle
doing a stunt.
457
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,872
No, he's fine. He's just
having an emergency massage.
458
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:36,541
Oh. (clears throat)
459
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:39,544
Is everything okay?
Yeah. I just need his help
460
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,245
getting Twitter followers
for this book fair.
461
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,581
A book fair? Oh, does that mean
that you're an author?
462
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,383
I am.
How did I not know that?
463
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,718
I have a book coming out, too.
You wrote a book?
464
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,421
Every word of it.
Wow.
465
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,723
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow.
Hey, since
you have a little time
466
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,725
while your dad's
getting a massage,
467
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,861
maybe you'd like
to go grab a cup of coffee?
468
00:19:56,863 --> 00:20:00,731
I would love to find out
more about you... and your book.
469
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,634
Sure. I'd like that.
470
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:07,305
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Hmm. Perhaps he's interested after all.
471
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,774
Oh. Hi.
472
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:10,841
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
He sure is.
473
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,276
Hey.
474
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:13,744
Just came by to check on you
475
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:14,979
and drop off some backpacks.
476
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,782
Hey, how'd your call
with Anezka go?
477
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,784
Fine.
478
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,385
I, uh, bought her a ticket,
479
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,820
promised I'd buy her
an electric bike.
480
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:23,754
She's on her way.
481
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:25,790
You okay?
482
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,825
Yeah. It'll be fine.
483
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,327
She'll answer some
questions, then leave.
484
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,861
Oh, come on.
It's got to be traumatic
485
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,663
to see her again.
486
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:33,864
Did you call
your therapist?
487
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,833
CHUCK:
She don't need to call her.
488
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,502
We talked about it a bunch.
She's fine.
489
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:39,704
Appreciate the input, Chuck.
490
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:40,805
But, you know,
you weren't around
491
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,340
when Anezka was here.
492
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,808
Well, Petra told me
all about her.
493
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:44,775
Yeah, that's...
that's not really
494
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,477
the same as actually being here.
495
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:47,812
No.
496
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,880
It's better.
You know, you're not
497
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:50,798
living in the past.
498
00:20:50,799 --> 00:20:51,715
Look, I'm...
499
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,985
I'm not living in the past.
500
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:56,287
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Huh. Well, this feels familiar,
37462
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