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LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay, so we ended onquite a cliffhanger.
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00:00:03,571 --> 00:00:05,038
I know you all can't wait
3
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:06,539
to find outhow Jane's novel is coming.
4
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:07,959
JANE:
It's a love a story
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00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,376
loosely based on
my grandparents.
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00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:10,637
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
She had to throw her energy
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00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,082
into something,because she and Michael
8
00:00:12,083 --> 00:00:13,479
weren't allowedto have sex yet.
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00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,781
See, after these lovebirdstied the knot,
10
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,053
that very night,Michael got shot.
11
00:00:18,054 --> 00:00:19,219
Somebody, help!
12
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:20,388
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know!
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00:00:20,389 --> 00:00:21,547
These two havebeen through a lot.
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00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,785
It was my partner...
Susanna Barnett.
15
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,192
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, and Susanna was Rose,to thicken the plot.
16
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,264
I'm giddy! I'm rhymingbecause it's about to get hot!
17
00:00:29,265 --> 00:00:31,631
What's going on?
18
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:34,132
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know. Straight outof a telenovela, right?
19
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,295
Well, imagine this.Jane's father had dreams
20
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:39,272
of bringing his telenovelasto America.
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00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:40,513
And that's enough foreplay,people.
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00:00:40,514 --> 00:00:42,638
Let's get down to business.
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00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,811
(Michael and Jane moaning)
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00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:46,412
JANE:
A little lower.
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00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:47,614
MICHAEL:
(grunts) There?
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00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:49,615
JANE:
No. Uh, there.
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00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,477
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, yes. Couldn't have youmiss this moment.
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00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,285
MICHAEL: Uh, it's too big!It won't fit!
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00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:55,086
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
They were doing it!It was happening!
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00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,119
JANE:
Come on, be gentle with my box.
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00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:58,594
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Jane and Michael were
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00:00:58,595 --> 00:01:00,162
finally movinginto their own home!
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00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:02,661
And you have dirty minds,all of you.
34
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,533
Seriously, do you really
need all this stuff?
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00:01:04,534 --> 00:01:08,368
It's me, my history,
who I am.
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00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:09,839
We are not
putting this up.
37
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,367
I know,
but I can't throw it away.
38
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:15,673
Face it, you married a girl
with a lot of baggage.
39
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:18,136
I love you...
and your baggage.
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ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
www.PSArips.com
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00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,423
MICHAEL:
Stop, stop.
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00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:33,126
Two more weeks
the doctor said.
Ooh!
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00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:36,257
Easier to do when we were
living at home with my grandma.
44
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:39,263
Talking about your grandmother
helps. Keep doing that.
45
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,166
We'll just... keep busy.
46
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:42,598
There's so much
to do around here.
47
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,873
Carpet installation,
furniture delivery.
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00:01:44,874 --> 00:01:47,440
We'll whip the house
into shape.
49
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,571
What?
50
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,206
We're finally
living together.
51
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,181
Oh. We're finally
living together.
52
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,822
I am interviewing my grandma
for my thesis.
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00:01:58,823 --> 00:02:00,449
We'll do the interviews here.
54
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,723
Yes, good,
we're gonna need
55
00:02:01,724 --> 00:02:03,692
your grandmother around
as much as possible.
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00:02:03,693 --> 00:02:05,658
Don't worry.
We won't have a moment alone.
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00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:08,459
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which seemed likea good enough plan until...
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00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,862
JANE:
We can have sex?
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00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:12,232
You can wait
if you'd prefer.
60
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,373
No! No, thank you.
No! We're good.
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00:02:13,374 --> 00:02:15,297
JANE:
Okay, cancel the phone company,
62
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,342
furniture's not for another
hour, Internet's after.
63
00:02:17,343 --> 00:02:18,838
Trust me, it's not
gonna take long.
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00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,909
Run! Run!
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00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:32,675
MICHAEL:
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
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00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,546
I just can't believe
this is actually happening.
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00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,215
I know. Me, either.
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00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:37,723
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR
Me, neither. What?
69
00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,855
Oh, come on!
70
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,430
Dad, you weren't supposed
to be here until 2:00.
No.
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00:02:42,431 --> 00:02:43,829
The movers are coming at 2:00.
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00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,401
My Tiago team needs
to measure and prep first.
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00:02:45,402 --> 00:02:46,829
Go! Go! Go!
Whoa!
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00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,734
Oh.
This is gonna be
a big job.
75
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:52,598
The shed?
I am not having sex
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00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,206
for the first
time in a shed.
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00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:57,208
Hey, our neighbor, two doors
down, Airbnbs his place.
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00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,841
75 bucks.
Worth every penny.
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00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,276
They'll be done in 45 minutes,
I'm canceling the Internet,
80
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,582
and there'll be a window
before your physical therapy
81
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,483
and my interview
with my grandma.
Mm.
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00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,915
Where do you want this?
Aah! I don't.
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00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:09,956
Please. Put it back
in the truck.
84
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:12,287
Okay, Mr. De La Vega,
that's the last of it.
85
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,363
ROGELIO:
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
86
00:03:13,364 --> 00:03:14,660
Thank you so much
for coming.
87
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,629
Thank you, sir.
(sighs)
88
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,330
Surprise! We're here!
Oh.
89
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:19,972
Oh, you didn't have to.
Oh. Wow.
90
00:03:19,973 --> 00:03:22,267
Of course we did!
You moved in!
91
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,969
Also, I need
you to help me
92
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,671
pick a dress for my Voice
audition. I'm freaking out!
93
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:28,243
Mom, right now
isn't actually the...
(phone vibrating)
94
00:03:28,244 --> 00:03:29,472
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
95
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:30,876
My agent is calling.
96
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,808
A major network
has my television formats.
97
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,813
They might make Tiago
in English.
98
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,275
Give me good
news, Barry.
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00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:37,883
Oh.
100
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,445
I see. We'll keep trying.
101
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,986
Apparently, they said
it sounds like Quantum Leap...
102
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:48,361
only it makes less sense.
103
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,529
Hey, it's okay.
104
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,630
They just didn't get it.
I know.
105
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:55,368
It's just,
rejection is so hard.
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00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,469
And I'm not equipped
to deal with it
107
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,501
since it happens
so infrequently.
108
00:04:03,978 --> 00:04:06,878
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And friends, that's whenMichael and Jane officially
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00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,980
saw their windowof opportunity shut.
110
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:11,951
So drafty.
111
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,459
Jane. When am I getting
your chapter?
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00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:26,365
Sorry! Uh, tonight, I promise.
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00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,827
I just want to wait until
after I interview my grandma
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00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:30,335
so I can layer in
a few more details.
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00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,397
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
You'll recall, she was basingher thesis novel on her abuela.
116
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,966
Well, just send it, okay?
I need to see where you're at.
117
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,775
Okay.
118
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,507
(Xiomara singing in Spanish)
119
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,312
(sighs)
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00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,814
(Xiomara continues singing
in Spanish)
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00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,915
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And where are we at?
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00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:47,517
Ah. This must beXo's Voice audition.
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00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:51,761
¶ Amor. ¶
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00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,927
Nice. Perfect.
125
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,458
So it says here
you're a grandmother?
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00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,802
Yup. Bet you don't see
a lot of grannies.
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00:04:59,803 --> 00:05:00,970
Seven this morning.
128
00:05:00,971 --> 00:05:02,598
Now, tell me, Xo,
129
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,903
if you weren't a singer,
what would you be?
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00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:30,430
JANE:
Oh, wait.
131
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:31,861
Abuela, stay in frame.
Huh?
132
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,474
Posterity.
133
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,471
Don't be so morbid.
134
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,406
Whoa.
135
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:42,467
Cecilia? As in
your sister Cecilia?
136
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,076
Hey, hey, hey,
is this really her?
137
00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:46,446
Oh, my God.
138
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:47,547
(sighs)
Um...
139
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,478
Why didn't you ever tell me
140
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,383
she looks exactly like me?
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00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,387
Oh!
142
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,956
Abuela,
143
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,117
whatever happened
between you two?
Jane...
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00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:02,486
Come on. I'm a married lady.
You can tell me.
145
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:05,756
What could be so bad that you
haven't spoken in 40 years? Hmm?
146
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:14,566
Why would she do that?
147
00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:35,434
No! No, I'm not saying
this stuff!
148
00:06:35,435 --> 00:06:38,398
Stop writing.
I've had it!
149
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:41,567
Nobody does things
just to be a bitch!
150
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:44,798
Your grandma... your grandma
is the one being a bitch!
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00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,837
(door opens)
152
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,842
MICHAEL:
I'm home. Where are you?
In here!
153
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:53,044
Wait. What are you doing?
Don't shut me down, bitch!
154
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,676
You have a deadline!
155
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:58,017
I'm sending Donaldson
the chapter I already have.
156
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,518
Ay!
157
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,086
No one here?
158
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,164
No one's here.
159
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,766
(moaning)
160
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,767
Oh! (laughs)
161
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,769
(moaning)
162
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,972
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, man,
I'm prematurely excited!
163
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,642
I love you so much.
164
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,610
I love you so much.
165
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,711
(moaning)
166
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,682
Are you ready?
167
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,217
Yes.
168
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,986
Are you nervous?
169
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,517
A little.
170
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,056
Are you?
171
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,517
A little.
172
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,955
I want it to be
good for you.
173
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:44,101
It's gonna be perfect
because it's you.
174
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:46,799
I love you.
I love you.
175
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,730
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And, friends,
176
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:51,065
I can't show you what happenednext, but let's just say...
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00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,741
¶ ¶
178
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,591
Wow.
179
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,655
You and me finishing
at the same time.
180
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,229
About a good a first time
as I could've wanted.
181
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:17,960
How do you feel?
182
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,655
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
A little different, honestly.
183
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:23,596
Good. I feel good.
184
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:24,904
Thirsty, though.
185
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:27,535
Do you want some water?
Mm.
186
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,836
(sighs)
187
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,847
Okay.
188
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,218
I've had sex.
189
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,819
I am now a person
who has had sex.
190
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:49,262
(sighs) Thank God.
191
00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:51,963
Okay, know what? I feel like
we should mark the occasion with
192
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,625
a glass of... wine.
193
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,574
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Or sleep.
194
00:08:55,575 --> 00:08:57,639
(sighs)
195
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,778
Maybe talk to someone?
196
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:17,693
(phone chimes)
197
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,188
Really? Now?!
198
00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:30,572
(sighs)
199
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:46,216
Why is it taking so longto load?
200
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,619
(Jane and Michael kissing,
moaning over speakers)
201
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,622
Oh, no. No.
202
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:51,724
No, no, no, no, no, no.
203
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,585
No!
What? What happened?
204
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,828
JANE:
Oh. (laughs)
205
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,629
(panting, moaning)
206
00:09:58,632 --> 00:09:59,662
We made a sex tape!
207
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,996
What?
And I sent it to my advisor!
208
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,970
What?!
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And, unfortunately, friends,
209
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,201
it wasn't the cartoon version.
210
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,778
Hey. Hi there.
211
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,751
If you want to know
if I got your e-mail
212
00:10:16,752 --> 00:10:18,780
asking me not to read your file
in time,
213
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,715
the answer,
unfortunately, is no.
214
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,788
Oh, my God. I am so sorry.
215
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,658
I-I had saved my grandmother's
interview as "Abuela Story"
216
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,729
and attached it...
That was not Abuela.
217
00:10:27,730 --> 00:10:29,658
I know. I accidentally
taped over it,
218
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,933
and I saved the
document as...
The details are not important.
219
00:10:31,934 --> 00:10:33,632
Agreed. Thank you.
220
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,768
Onto my work.
221
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,799
(sighs) Unfortunately,
I didn't love your chapter.
222
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,005
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Hey, compared tothe sex tape debacle,
223
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,808
this was music to Jane's ears.
224
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,809
I get it. I was actually
in the middle of a rewrite,
225
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,651
and I was gonna add
the main character's sister...
226
00:10:46,652 --> 00:10:48,377
I'm sorry,
can I just say one thing
227
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,650
about the tape?
Why do you kids
228
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,818
have to record everything?
I mean, every snack,
229
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,349
selfie,
sexual encounter...
No, I wasn't.
230
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,294
Obviously, you were.
And why?
It just happened.
231
00:10:56,295 --> 00:10:59,989
I mean, I get the urge
to spice things up...
It was actually my first time.
232
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,861
Really?
233
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,132
Uh-huh.
234
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,866
Oh.
235
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,367
Well, that...
that explains things.
236
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,237
What things?
237
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,738
That's what's been missing
from your writing.
238
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,040
You're writing romance,
239
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:19,783
but romance without sex, it's
just, you know, fantasy stuff.
240
00:11:19,784 --> 00:11:24,817
So use this, okay?
In your... in your writing.
241
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,148
JANE: She couldn't evenlook me in the eye.
242
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:27,823
Who cares? How was the sex?
243
00:11:27,824 --> 00:11:29,889
Good. It was good.
244
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,920
Oh, no. What happened?
245
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:34,325
(breathes deeply) Okay,
I'm gonna tell you something,
246
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,857
but you cannot
tell anyone.
247
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,062
Obviously. Go.
248
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,899
I faked my orgasm.
249
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,330
(quietly): What?!
Why would you do that?
I don't know.
250
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:45,295
I panicked. I-I could tell
that he was about to...
251
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:48,705
finish, and he was
trying not to,
252
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,179
and I knew it was gonna
take me a while...
253
00:11:51,180 --> 00:11:52,338
Oh, this is bad.
254
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,045
I know.
Faking orgasms
are for nights
255
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,247
when you need to get some rando
out of your apartment.
256
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,079
I know.
Not for the guy
who you're supposed
257
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,345
to have sex with
for the rest of your life.
I know!
258
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:03,253
I just... I-I'm gonna tell him
what happened, explain...
259
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,356
No, no, no.
260
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,417
Stop. You cannot tell.
261
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,786
RAFAEL:
Michael.
262
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,364
You're back to work
already?
263
00:12:09,365 --> 00:12:11,297
Not officially.
Just, um...
264
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,828
you know, stopping by, trying
to get back up to speed.
265
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,301
(chuckles)
266
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:18,471
Um... yeah, you, uh, you
here about your family?
267
00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:20,872
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, yes. His family.
268
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,876
To remind you:his mother, Elena Di Nola,
269
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,507
aka the Crime Lord Mutter,currently in jail;
270
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,180
his brother Derek,
271
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,981
currently in the wind;
(wind whooshes)
272
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,953
and, of course,his sister Luisa,
273
00:12:31,954 --> 00:12:34,487
still MIA.
274
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:37,488
Ah. Here's Luisa.
275
00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:41,391
So, yeah, I definitely needto catch you up on these two.
276
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:46,356
LUISA:
So Susanna didn't exist?
277
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:50,236
It was you the whole time?
Exactly.
278
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,997
I left some stuff in Miami
that I needed to pick up...
279
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:55,136
A record of the criminals'faces she changed,
280
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:57,076
and a cool $200 million.
281
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,277
...and I realized
282
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,208
you wouldn't give me
a second chance,
283
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,113
not if you knew
it was me...
284
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,975
Because you killed my father.
285
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:07,153
Yes. And I regret that.
286
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:10,189
But I love you, Luisa.
287
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:13,190
(whispers): I've
always... loved you.
288
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,463
Why are you talking
in that creepy voice?
289
00:13:15,464 --> 00:13:17,000
It... wasn't supposed
to be creepy,
290
00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:18,497
it was supposed
to be sexy.
291
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,366
See, I don't even know how
to talk to you anymore.
292
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:21,367
You make me so nervous.
293
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,028
Oh, I make you nervous?
294
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:25,196
Yes! You're the
only person that
295
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:27,235
I have ever felt
this way about.
296
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,182
And you fell in love
with me twice.
297
00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:33,478
Let's build a
life together.
298
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,151
Please.
299
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,588
Say yes.
300
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,057
(gasps)
301
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,958
If I have sex with you once,
302
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,960
it doesn't mean
that I'm saying yes.
303
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,932
¶ ¶
304
00:13:58,104 --> 00:13:59,371
What's wrong?
305
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,407
Can we ascend?
306
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,338
Just to see
if my brother
307
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,183
e-mailed me on my birthday.
308
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:16,856
See? He's written
you off.
309
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,257
I'm the one that's here.
310
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,159
I know.
311
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:24,196
It's just that
you killed my father.
We're going around
312
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,127
in circles here.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which is true, by the way.
313
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:28,032
They'd been circlingthe Great Barrier Reef
314
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,134
for the last month.
315
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:31,595
You need to make
a decision.
316
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:33,365
I want to get
off the sub,
317
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,141
go to my island,
start our life.
318
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:39,278
What will it take
for you to say yes?
319
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,347
I need to see your list.
320
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:44,148
The people I've slept with?
It's long.
321
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,080
Of the people you've killed.
322
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:47,646
Even longer.
BITCHY CECILIA: I told you.
323
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,388
I am not a villain!
324
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,089
And I won't be written
like one! Ah?!
325
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,226
Access my sexuality,
326
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,027
like your writing teacher said.
327
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,396
I mean...
328
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,466
I have orgasms,
unlike some people.
329
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,167
Oh, sorry.
330
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:04,198
Was that too bitchy?
331
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,172
(phone vibrates)
Oh.
332
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,173
(gasps) Mom! Hey, finally.
I've been calling.
333
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,375
XIOMARA:
I know. Sorry.
334
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,208
I didn't get a callback
for The Voice.
335
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:16,916
Oh, no. I'm sorry.
336
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:18,947
It's all part of the hustle,
though, right?
337
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:20,019
Maybe.
338
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,250
Maybe I'm done with the hustle.
339
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,255
What?
340
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,157
The producer asked me
this question:
341
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,959
If I wasn't a singer,
what would I be?
342
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,162
And...
343
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,163
I don't know,
it got me thinking.
344
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:35,195
I haven't really, seriously
considered anything else
345
00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:37,136
since I was, like, 19.
346
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:40,306
Because you love to sing.
347
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,207
Yeah, well...
348
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,338
maybe it's time to move on.
349
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,947
What does she
mean, "move on"?
350
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,208
JANE:
She goes through these phases
351
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,645
of self-doubt;
she just needs a boost.
352
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:53,180
Like, um,
another Paulina Rubio moment.
353
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:56,046
No, no, no, no. I cannot ask
Paulina for another favor.
354
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,316
Not enough time has passed.
What?
355
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:01,055
Celebrity friendships need to
be very carefully calibrated.
356
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,231
Someone like Paulina,
you ask a favor every...
357
00:16:03,232 --> 00:16:04,496
seven years.
358
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,297
Someone like Gloria,
every 20 years.
359
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,730
Now, Oprah--
you just don't ask favors.
360
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,736
Your best bet is to ask Gayle.
361
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,038
Gotcha.
362
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:14,305
Okay.
363
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,566
Canadian celebs,
well, you can ask anytime.
364
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,575
Michael Bublé
has washed my car twice.
365
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,277
But he's traveling now.
366
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,209
Dad, okay, what about someone
not famous?
367
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,452
Like a music executive who can
368
00:16:22,453 --> 00:16:24,079
get her singing backup maybe?
369
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,417
Let me work on it.
370
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,286
Now, I have to run.
371
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:30,047
The CW is interested
in doing an American adaptation
372
00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:32,186
of The Passions of Santos.
373
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,562
What's The CW? Like a...
like a streaming thing?
374
00:16:34,563 --> 00:16:36,128
No, no.
375
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,199
It's a huge network!
376
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,057
Look it up. Amazing shows.
377
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:40,565
Fabulous lineups!
378
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,727
Anyway, if everything goes well,
379
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:45,096
I'm gonna be on a plane
to Los Angeles tonight.
380
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,435
Well, good luck.
381
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,709
Let me know
how things go.
382
00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:49,237
Ooh. (chuckles)
383
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,380
Uh, where's Mateo?
He's napping.
384
00:16:51,381 --> 00:16:53,008
Perfect. How much time
do we have?
385
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,713
He'll be awake in,
like, 20 minutes.
386
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,714
Sweet. I'll just do
the same exact thing
387
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,116
I did last time,
okay? Mwah.
388
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,449
Wait.
389
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,223
(moaning)
390
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,024
Hey, so, maybe we don't do
391
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,486
exactly the same thing
as last time.
392
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,625
What do you mean? Why?
Well, we can try
something different
393
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,260
for variety.
There's no time.
394
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,465
There's 20 minutes.
Got to be efficient.
Michael, wait.
395
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,197
Uh, but I faked it.
396
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,070
What?
397
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,638
My orgasm.
398
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,107
Why-why... why
would you do that?
399
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:25,038
I got nervous.
A-And I wanted it to be perfect,
400
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,505
and I saw that
you were finishing.
401
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,550
Wow.
402
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,051
I know. I'm sorry.
(sighs)
403
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,394
Have you faked it before
when we did other things?
404
00:17:36,395 --> 00:17:37,789
No. Definitely not.
405
00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:41,060
Okay. We'll just start
with the other things, then.
406
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,791
Thank you.
407
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,737
You know what? I just...
I don't think it's happening.
408
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,811
I'm too much in my head now.
409
00:17:58,812 --> 00:18:00,142
(exhales)
410
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:02,206
ROGELIO:
Boo!
411
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,475
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And speaking of a buzz kill...
412
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,552
Don't boo me, Rogelio.
413
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,387
But you're going
to love The CW.
414
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:10,418
I don't even know what channel
that is, and I own 50%
415
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,423
of the show, and I don't want
to do business with you again.
416
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:17,456
Look... I get that you're
upset about our breakup.
417
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,102
This has nothing to do
with that.
418
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:21,269
I've already been approached
to do other shows.
419
00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:23,327
I'm in talks with...
420
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:25,395
But conquering the American
market was your dream, too.
421
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,605
It was our favorite
pillow talk topic.
422
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,507
Well, that... and my erotic
423
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,280
(whispers):
shadow puppets.
424
00:18:32,281 --> 00:18:33,408
Come on.
425
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,113
Put your ego aside.
426
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,245
It's good business.
427
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,418
Fine.
428
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,520
Separate rooms.
429
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,351
I get the better view.
430
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,116
Done. So...
431
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,615
we're going to Hollywood?
432
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,356
We're going to Hollywood.
433
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:49,891
We're going to Hollywood!
434
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,135
Major news. That's what
they say here in L.A.
435
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,537
Everything's major,
and gluten-free.
436
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,369
Anyway, major music producer
friend of mine,
437
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:04,843
Hector, is free to go
see your mom on Thursday.
438
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,582
That's great!
She sings at the Blue Penny.
439
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:08,910
Hard pass. That place a dump.
440
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:10,085
Somewhere fancier.
441
00:19:10,093 --> 00:19:11,270
The Marbella, perhaps?
442
00:19:11,271 --> 00:19:12,451
I could ask Rafael.
ROGELIO: Perfect.
443
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,687
(gasps)
Oh, my God, that's a Kardashian!
444
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,658
JANE:
And I know it's late notice,
445
00:19:17,659 --> 00:19:20,217
but Rafael said yes.
And since you're in good
446
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:22,386
with Diego, can you ask him
to trade nights?
447
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,555
I don't know, hon.
448
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,303
This is all so much trouble.
449
00:19:25,304 --> 00:19:26,528
What do you mean?
450
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:27,633
It's already organized.
451
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,534
Come on. I know you're down,
452
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,866
but this is a big shot.
453
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:34,210
Don't lose sight
of what you want, who you are.
454
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,709
And who are you, Jane?
455
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:42,548
Not a virgin. Finally.
(chuckles quietly)
456
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:45,579
So, what, are you going to use
your sexual experiences
457
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,385
to write me? Okay.
458
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,687
Hmm?
459
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,902
Mmm, now
you're talking.
460
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:02,395
You want to know why
I told the world that Alba
461
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:03,969
wasn't a virgin?
462
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:07,270
Because sex...
should be celebrated.
463
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,308
(giggles)
464
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,279
And I was tired
of your hypocritical abuela
465
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,637
calling me a slut!
466
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,305
Oh.
You're in a bit
467
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,981
of a sexual crisis, no?
468
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:18,317
So, what is your plan
469
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:21,218
about your failure to launch
470
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,388
with el guapo Michael?
471
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:26,319
Let me give you
some advice, honey.
472
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,626
Turn up the seduction.
473
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,758
Kick it up a notch.
474
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:38,268
Now, remember, Dina,
when we go in there,
475
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:41,406
don't fawn all over
the executives.
476
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,507
A superhero for
every weekday!
477
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,809
You guys are
programming masterminds!
478
00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:47,246
Rogelio.
479
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:48,647
I'm sure these are
very busy people.
480
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:51,318
Maybe we should get
to The Passions of Santos.
481
00:20:51,319 --> 00:20:53,447
Yes, yes, of course.
482
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,253
We love it.
It's major.
483
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,355
And we absolutely
want to adapt it.
484
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:58,487
Wow!
485
00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,991
That's such
great news.
486
00:20:59,993 --> 00:21:02,293
You have such great taste!
487
00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:04,425
Right? So here's
what we're thinking.
488
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,600
Two words.
489
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,301
No, four.
490
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:12,002
"Rob Lowe as Santos."
491
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:14,810
ROGELIO:
Rob Lowe?!
492
00:21:14,811 --> 00:21:16,267
Maybe as Santos's father!
493
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,706
Rogelio, come on.
494
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,780
Who cares? No one's even
heard of this network anyway.
495
00:21:19,781 --> 00:21:21,448
It's the armpit
of American television.
496
00:21:21,449 --> 00:21:23,307
I think we should
take the deal.
497
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:24,646
What?!
Look, I don't
like it either,
498
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,651
but the truth is Rob Lowe
can launch a series,
499
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:28,753
and you're just not famous
enough in America yet.
500
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,415
Come on.
501
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:32,357
Put your ego aside.
502
00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:34,458
It's good business.
503
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,760
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And speaking of getting downto business...
504
00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,297
JANE:
Hi there.
505
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,565
Oh, wow.
506
00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:42,826
Yeah, so I thought we could
spice things up a bit.
507
00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:46,972
(giggles)
508
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:50,609
I actually went
to the store.
509
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:53,340
Sexy 'N' Wild Gel
510
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:56,306
with extra stimulation tinglers
to enhance pleasure?
511
00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:58,076
JANE:
Ooh.
512
00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:01,320
How's it feel?
513
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:03,021
Oh.
514
00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:04,856
Oh, my God.
515
00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:06,717
It burns.
516
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,586
It... burns.
517
00:22:08,594 --> 00:22:10,932
Like a good burn?
No, not a... good burn.
518
00:22:10,933 --> 00:22:12,460
It feels like wasabi down there.
519
00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:13,525
Oh, my God!
520
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,100
Ow, oh, my God!
521
00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:17,601
Ow, my...
I got to get it off of me!
Honey...
522
00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:20,539
Oh, ow. (whimpering)
523
00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:22,007
(water running)
524
00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:24,538
Oh, my God,
the water's making it worse!
525
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:32,950
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
526
00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:35,492
I was just trying to sex it up
and get out of my head.
527
00:22:35,493 --> 00:22:36,748
No, it's okay.
528
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:39,486
It was a good idea.
529
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:40,759
Yeah?
530
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,030
Yeah.
531
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,760
Ow. Uh, sorry.
It still burns.
532
00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:47,425
Right.
533
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:49,768
Gotcha.
Ooh.
534
00:22:49,769 --> 00:22:51,899
Maybe just...
535
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:53,839
keep this between us.
536
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,809
I mean, I know it
goes without saying.
537
00:22:55,810 --> 00:22:57,738
But I just... I just
wanted to say it anyway.
538
00:22:57,744 --> 00:23:00,784
I mean, you can tell people
we had sex, but just...
539
00:23:00,785 --> 00:23:02,610
no details, right?
540
00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:05,045
We should work this...
541
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:08,651
glitch out privately.
542
00:23:08,654 --> 00:23:10,122
Yes. Right.
543
00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:11,763
Yeah.
544
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:17,627
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here, now.
545
00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:20,631
Oh.
546
00:23:35,815 --> 00:23:36,905
I can't.
547
00:23:40,686 --> 00:23:42,416
XIOMARA:
Jane?
548
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:47,526
So what do you think
of this one for the show?
549
00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:49,857
So beautiful.
550
00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:54,199
You look beautiful.
551
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,930
Wow.
(chuckles softly)
552
00:23:56,936 --> 00:24:00,196
So, I feel like I haven't
seen you alone in forever.
553
00:24:00,206 --> 00:24:01,836
How's newlywed life?
554
00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:04,776
It's...
555
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:06,177
going well-- really well.
556
00:24:06,179 --> 00:24:07,846
Everything's great.
557
00:24:07,847 --> 00:24:10,917
And Michael and I actually...
558
00:24:12,819 --> 00:24:14,186
We had sex.
559
00:24:14,187 --> 00:24:16,447
(gasps) What?!
560
00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:18,016
A couple of days ago,
the doctor cleared him.
561
00:24:18,024 --> 00:24:19,624
Yeah.
562
00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:20,825
I can't believe it.
563
00:24:20,827 --> 00:24:22,157
Why didn't you call me?
564
00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:23,861
Oh, my God.
565
00:24:23,863 --> 00:24:25,203
How do you feel?
566
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,166
Good. I feel good.
567
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:31,798
And how was it?
568
00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:34,174
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Remember, Jane,don't talk about the glitch.
569
00:24:34,175 --> 00:24:35,873
So great.
570
00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:37,875
(doorbell rings)
That must be your dad.
571
00:24:37,877 --> 00:24:39,207
He's back from Hollywood.
572
00:24:39,212 --> 00:24:42,012
Okay, I need details later.
573
00:24:42,014 --> 00:24:43,814
(squeals)
574
00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:45,576
(Mateo babbles)
No, Mateo!
575
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,961
ROGELIO:
I'm devastated!
576
00:24:55,962 --> 00:24:58,000
Either I compromise
the integrity of Santos
577
00:24:58,001 --> 00:24:59,497
by aging him up significantly,
578
00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:01,729
or I don't get
to do the show at all.
579
00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:03,204
But, Dad, you are Santos.
580
00:25:08,774 --> 00:25:10,842
Abuela.
Ma.
581
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:11,983
No, see,
that attitude right there,
582
00:25:11,984 --> 00:25:13,578
that's what I'm up against!
583
00:25:13,579 --> 00:25:15,249
At the same time,
I have to think as a producer.
584
00:25:15,250 --> 00:25:16,848
So if this is the only way
585
00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:19,749
the series gets made,
maybe it's worth it.
586
00:25:19,752 --> 00:25:20,892
No. There's got
to be another way.
587
00:25:20,893 --> 00:25:22,887
Is this the moment
you cash in
588
00:25:22,889 --> 00:25:25,159
on one of your
biggest favors?
589
00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:30,996
Two words. No, four words.
590
00:25:30,997 --> 00:25:35,527
"Gloria Estefan and Emilio...
591
00:25:35,535 --> 00:25:36,825
Estefan."
592
00:25:36,836 --> 00:25:39,636
Okay five words.
They deserve five.
593
00:25:39,639 --> 00:25:41,839
I will get Gloria to play a part
in the American version
594
00:25:41,841 --> 00:25:44,881
of Santos, and Emilio
can produce all the music.
595
00:25:44,882 --> 00:25:47,946
I may not be as big a star
as Rob Lowe,
596
00:25:47,947 --> 00:25:49,947
but add Gloria and Emilio...
597
00:25:49,949 --> 00:25:52,617
Boom! Basic celebrity math.
598
00:25:52,618 --> 00:25:54,918
Can you really
get them attached?
599
00:25:54,921 --> 00:25:58,189
I'm cashing in a favor
20 years in the making.
600
00:25:58,190 --> 00:25:59,890
HORNDOG CECILIA:
Do me a favor,
601
00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:03,562
and write me some
hot sexity-sex-sex.
602
00:26:10,202 --> 00:26:11,572
Agreed.
603
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,666
You had your burning bush
moment; it was a sign.
604
00:26:16,676 --> 00:26:19,306
Sex is all about intimacy
between two married people,
605
00:26:19,312 --> 00:26:21,652
which is why
I told on your grandmother.
606
00:26:21,653 --> 00:26:24,747
Don't lose your way now.
607
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:27,020
Sexual pleasure is not
the most important thing.
608
00:26:27,021 --> 00:26:29,119
That's why they call it
le petit mort--
609
00:26:29,121 --> 00:26:30,121
"a little death."
610
00:26:30,122 --> 00:26:32,057
It's small.
611
00:26:32,058 --> 00:26:35,658
What's big is the connection
between two souls.
612
00:26:35,661 --> 00:26:37,896
Mm?
613
00:26:37,897 --> 00:26:40,027
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here, now.
614
00:26:40,032 --> 00:26:43,232
So... I just...
615
00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:45,765
I don't want you
to worry tonight.
616
00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:47,741
This is about our love,
you know?
617
00:26:47,742 --> 00:26:48,970
Who cares about the rest?
618
00:26:50,343 --> 00:26:51,676
Mm.
619
00:26:51,677 --> 00:26:53,307
What... what do you mean?
620
00:26:53,312 --> 00:26:55,847
Just that
the most important thing
621
00:26:55,848 --> 00:26:58,848
is our connection and intimacy
622
00:26:58,851 --> 00:27:00,151
and...
623
00:27:00,152 --> 00:27:01,920
What's wrong?
(sighs)
624
00:27:01,921 --> 00:27:06,021
I'm just bummed that you think
having sex with me is so bad
625
00:27:06,025 --> 00:27:08,255
that you've given up any
hope of having an orgasm.
626
00:27:08,260 --> 00:27:11,997
No, no, no, no,
that is not what I meant.
627
00:27:11,998 --> 00:27:14,028
I just didn't
want to pressure you.
628
00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:17,133
I want us to get
out of our heads.
629
00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:18,766
Mm.
630
00:27:22,274 --> 00:27:25,010
Well, I...
Now I'm in my head.
631
00:27:25,011 --> 00:27:27,381
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
632
00:27:29,248 --> 00:27:32,717
I can talk dirty instead.
633
00:27:32,718 --> 00:27:34,148
Hmm?
Maybe let's just...
634
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:35,953
r-relax.
635
00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:38,785
We'll just relax.
636
00:27:38,791 --> 00:27:40,791
LINA: You guys should justbite the bullet
637
00:27:40,793 --> 00:27:42,993
and try porn.
Oh, forget I told you.
638
00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:45,425
The sex is good,
and I've had orgasms since.
639
00:27:45,431 --> 00:27:46,861
You're lying.
640
00:27:46,866 --> 00:27:48,026
No, I'm not.
(phone vibrates)
641
00:27:48,034 --> 00:27:50,101
Hey, Dad.
ROGELIO: Bad news.
642
00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:52,702
Hector's schedule changed;
he can't come now.
643
00:27:52,705 --> 00:27:54,935
What? Oh, Mom canceled her gig
at the Blue Penny.
644
00:27:54,940 --> 00:27:56,110
What-what can I do?
645
00:27:56,111 --> 00:27:57,268
I don't know.
646
00:27:57,276 --> 00:28:00,306
But, Dad... I found a list.
647
00:28:00,312 --> 00:28:02,312
Of alternate careers.
648
00:28:02,314 --> 00:28:04,314
I've never found a list before.
649
00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:06,946
I'll get someone there.
650
00:28:06,952 --> 00:28:08,852
Can we get back
to the telenovela?
651
00:28:08,854 --> 00:28:11,324
Yes, of course.
652
00:28:13,092 --> 00:28:15,762
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And we should get back to ours.
653
00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:22,467
(gasps)
654
00:28:29,075 --> 00:28:31,035
I was just coming to
bring you an e-mail.
655
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:33,411
It's from your brother.
656
00:28:33,412 --> 00:28:35,150
When we ascended
today, I checked,
657
00:28:35,151 --> 00:28:36,707
and he didn't
forget your birthday;
658
00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:39,816
we were just a day ahead.
659
00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:41,889
Thank you.
660
00:28:43,756 --> 00:28:45,716
You jumped.
661
00:28:45,725 --> 00:28:47,955
When I came in, you jumped.
662
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,860
Uh-uh.
663
00:28:55,468 --> 00:28:57,798
RAFAEL:
Hey, Luisa.
664
00:28:57,803 --> 00:28:59,473
I don't knowif you'll read this,
665
00:28:59,474 --> 00:29:01,172
if you're alive, even.
666
00:29:01,173 --> 00:29:05,143
But if you are,know that I love you.
667
00:29:05,144 --> 00:29:07,344
And happy birthday.
668
00:29:07,346 --> 00:29:09,506
And I miss you, okay?
669
00:29:09,515 --> 00:29:11,315
I really miss you.
670
00:29:11,317 --> 00:29:13,147
No reply?
671
00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:16,794
Not yet.
672
00:29:17,923 --> 00:29:19,858
Have you seen my dad?
673
00:29:19,859 --> 00:29:22,359
Um, is that him
over there with...
674
00:29:22,361 --> 00:29:24,091
Is that...
675
00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:25,426
Oh, my God.
676
00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:26,961
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, my God!
677
00:29:28,868 --> 00:29:30,228
Oh, my God.
678
00:29:30,236 --> 00:29:31,936
Jane! I want you to meet
679
00:29:31,937 --> 00:29:32,997
my dear friends,
680
00:29:33,005 --> 00:29:34,865
Gloria and Emilio Estefan.
681
00:29:34,874 --> 00:29:36,274
Yes, thank you for coming.
682
00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:37,805
We've been friends
with your father
683
00:29:37,810 --> 00:29:39,540
for over 20 years,
684
00:29:39,544 --> 00:29:41,284
and he's never asked us
for a favor before.
685
00:29:41,285 --> 00:29:43,180
I just don't think that way.
686
00:29:43,182 --> 00:29:44,982
So, we knew
this must be major.
687
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:50,946
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Wow! Just look at her.
688
00:29:51,857 --> 00:29:53,887
Hey, I'm sorry.
That fan is making me cold.
689
00:29:53,893 --> 00:29:55,193
Should we sit?
690
00:29:56,796 --> 00:29:59,526
Good evening!
691
00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:03,130
Thank you all
for coming.
692
00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:05,365
Oh, wow, I see some guys
693
00:30:05,371 --> 00:30:07,811
who usually come out
to the Blue Penny. Hi, guys!
694
00:30:07,812 --> 00:30:09,007
(crowd cheering)
695
00:30:10,242 --> 00:30:11,842
Love that.
696
00:30:11,844 --> 00:30:13,214
It helps with the nerves.
697
00:30:13,215 --> 00:30:14,912
(chuckles)
698
00:30:14,914 --> 00:30:17,824
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, that doesn't.
699
00:30:25,090 --> 00:30:26,390
Uh...
700
00:30:26,392 --> 00:30:29,032
I'll just sing, then.
701
00:30:30,329 --> 00:30:34,829
¶ Amor, amor ¶
702
00:30:34,834 --> 00:30:38,336
¶ Amor ¶
703
00:30:38,337 --> 00:30:40,437
¶ Nació de ti ¶
704
00:30:40,439 --> 00:30:43,308
¶ Nació de mí ¶
705
00:30:43,309 --> 00:30:47,139
¶ De la esperanza ¶
706
00:30:47,146 --> 00:30:49,146
¶ Amor... ¶
707
00:30:49,148 --> 00:30:52,218
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Transportive, isn't it?
708
00:30:55,154 --> 00:30:56,854
So...
709
00:30:56,856 --> 00:31:00,016
thank you for giving me
the e-mail.
710
00:31:00,025 --> 00:31:01,015
You didn't have to.
711
00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:02,456
I want you to be happy.
712
00:31:02,461 --> 00:31:04,261
I know.
713
00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:06,933
That's why I can't
say good-bye to my brother.
714
00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:09,167
Not forever.
715
00:31:09,168 --> 00:31:10,968
What if you don't have to?
716
00:31:12,238 --> 00:31:15,607
You go back to Miami,
tell the cops everything.
717
00:31:15,608 --> 00:31:17,038
When I'm around
your family,
718
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:18,942
I'll have a different face...
719
00:31:18,944 --> 00:31:20,111
That's the thing.
720
00:31:20,112 --> 00:31:23,047
You... around my family.
721
00:31:23,048 --> 00:31:24,878
I've changed.
722
00:31:24,884 --> 00:31:26,584
I'm done with crime.
723
00:31:26,585 --> 00:31:28,615
You have to trust that.
724
00:31:28,621 --> 00:31:30,621
And if you can't--
725
00:31:30,623 --> 00:31:32,623
if you're going to jump
726
00:31:32,625 --> 00:31:34,885
whenever I enter a room,
727
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:36,934
then I'll drop you off
at Port Kembla, you can fly home
728
00:31:36,935 --> 00:31:38,529
and never hear from me again.
729
00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:40,200
So?
730
00:31:42,167 --> 00:31:43,627
What's it going to be?
731
00:31:43,636 --> 00:31:46,496
LINA:
So, what's the word?
732
00:31:46,505 --> 00:31:48,165
What?
733
00:31:48,173 --> 00:31:52,911
Everything good
with you and Jane?
734
00:31:52,912 --> 00:31:54,912
She told you.
735
00:31:54,914 --> 00:31:56,914
Look, I'm here to help.
736
00:31:56,916 --> 00:31:59,946
But I really can't diagnose a
problem without a play-by-play.
737
00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:09,092
GLORIA:
So, tell us, Xiomara,
738
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,034
what are your goals
as a singer?
739
00:32:12,965 --> 00:32:14,965
(exhales)
740
00:32:14,967 --> 00:32:16,627
I don't know.
741
00:32:16,635 --> 00:32:17,965
What?
742
00:32:17,970 --> 00:32:19,000
She wants to be one.
743
00:32:19,004 --> 00:32:20,444
I am one.
744
00:32:21,607 --> 00:32:23,707
But right now, career-wise,
745
00:32:23,709 --> 00:32:26,678
I-I feel like I'm at
a bit of a crossroads.
746
00:32:26,679 --> 00:32:28,279
Interesante.
747
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,649
Well, what's more interesting
748
00:32:29,650 --> 00:32:32,016
is how much she loves singing.
Agreed.
749
00:32:32,017 --> 00:32:34,117
Yeah, tell them about that, Mom,
how you've been at it forever,
750
00:32:34,119 --> 00:32:35,349
and she just needs
her break.
751
00:32:35,354 --> 00:32:36,994
XIOMARA:
Or maybe I don't.
752
00:32:36,995 --> 00:32:38,989
I-I have my weekly gig.
753
00:32:38,991 --> 00:32:40,021
Maybe that's enough.
754
00:32:40,025 --> 00:32:42,025
With no fame component?
755
00:32:42,027 --> 00:32:44,527
Maybe I just
have to accept that
756
00:32:44,530 --> 00:32:46,297
that's not
gonna happen.
757
00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:47,398
Huh. Interesting.
758
00:32:47,399 --> 00:32:49,067
I'd still sing.
759
00:32:49,068 --> 00:32:51,568
I'd just pursue
other things professionally.
760
00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:53,000
Mom, come on, you're
really gonna regret it
761
00:32:53,005 --> 00:32:54,735
if you don't talk music
with the Estefans.
762
00:32:54,740 --> 00:32:56,140
I mean, that is their thing.
763
00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:57,541
EMILIO: Actually,
we have different, uh,
764
00:32:57,543 --> 00:32:59,043
dentures.
He means "ventures."
765
00:32:59,044 --> 00:33:00,684
EMILIO:
That's what I said, baby.
It's true.
766
00:33:00,685 --> 00:33:03,009
We have several restaurants;
767
00:33:03,015 --> 00:33:04,645
we have a show on
Broadway, On Your Feet;
768
00:33:04,650 --> 00:33:06,480
and I also write
children's books.
769
00:33:06,485 --> 00:33:08,485
That's great! (chuckles)
That's great.
770
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:10,687
You know, but that's just not
really what you're known for.
771
00:33:10,689 --> 00:33:12,419
Well, it depends on the
circle we're traveling in.
772
00:33:12,424 --> 00:33:14,726
Yeah, I'm pretty sure, like,
in the circle of Earth...
773
00:33:14,727 --> 00:33:15,987
ROGELIO: Jane.
I'm just saying,
774
00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:17,055
right now's not the time!
775
00:33:17,062 --> 00:33:18,462
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, no.
776
00:33:18,464 --> 00:33:20,104
She can't control herselfany longer.
777
00:33:20,105 --> 00:33:21,599
It could be the time.
778
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,030
Okay, you know what,
I just need you
779
00:33:23,035 --> 00:33:23,995
to stay out of this,
Gloria Estefan!
780
00:33:27,740 --> 00:33:30,340
I'm so sorry, Gloria Estefan.
781
00:33:35,714 --> 00:33:39,317
Okay, what the hell?
782
00:33:39,318 --> 00:33:42,118
I'm sorry.
783
00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:44,288
I don't know what happened.
784
00:33:44,289 --> 00:33:46,459
But it just feels like
you're giving up
785
00:33:46,460 --> 00:33:49,588
on this huge thing that was
so important to you for so long.
786
00:33:49,595 --> 00:33:52,225
Ah.
787
00:33:52,231 --> 00:33:53,631
What?
788
00:33:55,300 --> 00:33:57,200
Just that...
789
00:33:57,202 --> 00:34:00,302
I'm realizing that this
isn't totally about me.
790
00:34:00,305 --> 00:34:02,305
What do you mean?
791
00:34:02,307 --> 00:34:04,707
You gave up something
pretty big lately.
792
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:07,178
My virginity?
793
00:34:07,179 --> 00:34:08,709
No.
794
00:34:08,714 --> 00:34:10,448
I'm happy it's gone.
795
00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:14,249
I-I'm married. I have a kid.
796
00:34:14,253 --> 00:34:17,288
It's been, like, this weight.
797
00:34:17,289 --> 00:34:20,158
I've been dying to get
rid of this for so long.
798
00:34:20,159 --> 00:34:22,159
Oh, honey...
799
00:34:22,161 --> 00:34:25,229
This is so stupid! I'm married.
800
00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:27,130
(sniffles)
801
00:34:27,132 --> 00:34:30,301
I wanted it to be gone.
802
00:34:30,302 --> 00:34:32,402
I don't know. I just...
803
00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:34,172
I feel weird.
804
00:34:34,173 --> 00:34:36,573
Like...
805
00:34:38,510 --> 00:34:40,340
...I lost something,
806
00:34:40,345 --> 00:34:42,775
like a part of my identity.
807
00:34:42,781 --> 00:34:44,311
(sniffles)
808
00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:45,316
Yeah.
809
00:34:45,317 --> 00:34:47,747
I get that.
810
00:34:47,753 --> 00:34:49,653
And I blame the flower.
811
00:34:49,655 --> 00:34:50,745
What?
812
00:34:50,756 --> 00:34:52,416
"It's perfect untouched.
813
00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:54,624
Then crumple it up,
now it's ruined."
814
00:34:54,626 --> 00:34:57,486
I know I'm not ruined.
815
00:34:57,496 --> 00:35:00,696
But you feel like you lost
something, and you didn't.
816
00:35:00,699 --> 00:35:03,167
You just gained
something.
817
00:35:03,168 --> 00:35:05,868
A whole new dimension
of your life,
818
00:35:05,871 --> 00:35:08,371
your relationship.
819
00:35:10,375 --> 00:35:12,735
What if we're not compatible?
820
00:35:12,744 --> 00:35:15,379
It hasn't been great?
821
00:35:15,380 --> 00:35:18,520
We're not really talking
about it with other people.
822
00:35:18,521 --> 00:35:22,447
Ah. Got it.
823
00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:26,257
Okay, so you know, this has
nothing to do with you.
824
00:35:26,258 --> 00:35:27,718
But...
825
00:35:27,726 --> 00:35:31,896
with sex, it can take
time to find your groove
826
00:35:31,897 --> 00:35:34,297
and figure out what you like,
827
00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:36,629
what you need.
828
00:35:36,635 --> 00:35:38,465
You're just
starting out.
829
00:35:38,470 --> 00:35:40,400
You'll get there.
830
00:35:40,405 --> 00:35:41,805
(phone chimes)
(groans softly)
831
00:35:47,546 --> 00:35:49,206
(scoffs)
832
00:35:51,150 --> 00:35:54,280
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here, now to...
833
00:35:54,286 --> 00:35:57,186
(moaning, kissing)
834
00:35:57,189 --> 00:35:58,619
Oh. Wow.
835
00:35:58,624 --> 00:36:01,324
(moaning, panting continues)
836
00:36:07,166 --> 00:36:08,526
(phone chimes)
837
00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:20,675
Okay, I'm down
to give porn a chance...
838
00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:23,749
That's not porn.
It's us.
839
00:36:25,417 --> 00:36:28,517
Yeah. Lina asked
for a play-by-play.
840
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,420
I wasn't gonna
give her that,
841
00:36:30,422 --> 00:36:33,662
but I realized maybe it could
help me figure out
842
00:36:33,663 --> 00:36:35,826
where it went wrong.
843
00:36:35,827 --> 00:36:38,497
So, um...
844
00:36:40,365 --> 00:36:42,395
There.
845
00:36:42,401 --> 00:36:44,601
That was good, right?
846
00:36:44,603 --> 00:36:47,541
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
I really liked that.
(Jane moans)
847
00:36:47,542 --> 00:36:49,409
Was that moan real?
Definitely.
848
00:36:49,410 --> 00:36:50,438
(exhales)
849
00:36:50,442 --> 00:36:52,877
And I liked that.
850
00:36:52,878 --> 00:36:55,378
That?
Mmm, yeah.
851
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:57,710
This sex tape's really
turning me on right now.
852
00:36:57,716 --> 00:37:00,446
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And again, friends,
853
00:37:00,452 --> 00:37:01,722
I can't show youwhat happened next.
854
00:37:01,723 --> 00:37:03,620
But let me just say...
855
00:37:03,622 --> 00:37:06,422
¶ ¶
856
00:37:08,460 --> 00:37:10,760
(Jackie Wilson's
"Higher & Higher" playing)
857
00:37:18,470 --> 00:37:21,570
¶ Your love, lifting me higher ¶
858
00:37:23,475 --> 00:37:26,435
¶ Than I've ever been lifted
before ¶
859
00:37:27,879 --> 00:37:30,409
¶ So keep it up ¶
860
00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:33,015
¶ Quench my desire ¶
861
00:37:33,018 --> 00:37:37,948
¶ And I'll be at your side
forevermore ¶
862
00:37:37,956 --> 00:37:39,886
¶ You know your love ¶
¶ Your love keeps lifting me ¶
863
00:37:39,891 --> 00:37:42,391
¶ Keep on lifting ¶
¶ Love keeps lifting me ¶
864
00:37:42,394 --> 00:37:44,694
¶ Higher... ¶
865
00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:47,896
¶ Higher and higher ¶
¶ Higher ¶
866
00:37:47,899 --> 00:37:50,529
¶ I said your love ¶
¶ Your love keeps lifting me ¶
867
00:37:50,535 --> 00:37:52,395
¶ Keep on ¶
¶ Love keeps lifting me ¶
868
00:37:52,404 --> 00:37:54,374
¶ Lifting me ¶
¶ Lifting me ¶
869
00:37:54,375 --> 00:37:57,541
¶ Higher and higher ¶
¶ Higher ¶
870
00:37:57,542 --> 00:38:00,411
¶ All right ¶
871
00:38:00,412 --> 00:38:02,882
¶ ¶
872
00:38:05,050 --> 00:38:08,419
¶ Mmm... ¶
873
00:38:08,420 --> 00:38:10,450
¶ Let me tell ya, your love ¶
¶ Your love keeps lifting me ¶
874
00:38:10,455 --> 00:38:13,815
¶ Keep on lifting ¶
¶ Love keeps lifting me ¶
875
00:38:13,825 --> 00:38:15,755
¶ Higher ¶
¶ Lifting me ¶
876
00:38:15,761 --> 00:38:18,631
¶ Higher and higher,
and I said ¶
¶ Higher ¶
877
00:38:18,632 --> 00:38:20,630
¶ Sock it to me, all right ¶
878
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:22,802
¶ Lift me up, woman ¶
¶ Love keeps lifting me... ¶
879
00:38:22,803 --> 00:38:25,571
By the way,
I'm throwing out that flower,
880
00:38:25,572 --> 00:38:27,500
make room in the closet.
881
00:38:27,506 --> 00:38:29,566
Yes. Throw it out!
882
00:38:29,574 --> 00:38:31,809
(whoops) Whew.
883
00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:34,440
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And that, my friends,is how Jane and Michael
884
00:38:34,446 --> 00:38:36,446
got their groove back.
885
00:38:36,448 --> 00:38:37,478
And as forher writing groove...
886
00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:39,682
BITCHY CECILIA:
Now, can we
887
00:38:39,685 --> 00:38:42,685
finally stop obsessing over
that virgin whore nonsense?
888
00:38:45,624 --> 00:38:47,864
Your bracelet,
where'd you get it from?
889
00:38:47,865 --> 00:38:48,929
Oh.
890
00:38:50,929 --> 00:38:52,629
Ay.
891
00:38:55,367 --> 00:38:56,467
(chuckles)
892
00:38:58,670 --> 00:38:59,770
(sighing):
Ay.
893
00:38:59,771 --> 00:39:01,571
Ay.
894
00:39:06,111 --> 00:39:07,711
Shh!
895
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:16,920
(indistinct chatter)
896
00:39:16,922 --> 00:39:19,692
Eh! (laughing)
897
00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:21,959
(sighs)
898
00:39:40,412 --> 00:39:42,582
What do you mean?
I made it up.
899
00:39:50,122 --> 00:39:52,092
What letters?
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Her closet. Go!
900
00:39:52,093 --> 00:39:53,758
Go!
901
00:39:53,759 --> 00:39:54,819
No!
902
00:39:56,428 --> 00:39:58,996
I'm out.
Santos is a no-go.
903
00:39:58,997 --> 00:40:00,357
What happened?
904
00:40:00,364 --> 00:40:01,734
I know you spent your
Estefavor on Xiomara,
905
00:40:01,735 --> 00:40:02,973
not on our
Santos remake!
906
00:40:02,974 --> 00:40:05,898
And I am done being dumped
for Xo.
907
00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:07,744
I thought you said
it wasn't about that.
908
00:40:07,745 --> 00:40:10,139
Look...
909
00:40:10,142 --> 00:40:12,142
I didn't want to date you.
910
00:40:12,144 --> 00:40:14,111
You pursued me.
911
00:40:14,112 --> 00:40:15,952
And as soon as I realized
I still had feelings for Xo,
912
00:40:15,953 --> 00:40:17,007
I tweeted...
913
00:40:19,651 --> 00:40:22,151
And I should have called.
914
00:40:22,154 --> 00:40:24,021
I'm sorry.
915
00:40:24,022 --> 00:40:27,191
But I just didn't want
to lead you on, romantically.
916
00:40:27,192 --> 00:40:31,996
But you and I,
we are soul mates, you know.
917
00:40:31,997 --> 00:40:34,657
Okay, now what are
you talking about?
918
00:40:34,666 --> 00:40:37,866
Artistic soul mates.
Think about it.
919
00:40:37,869 --> 00:40:39,499
We keep coming back
to each other,
920
00:40:39,504 --> 00:40:41,906
because we're such a good team.
921
00:40:41,907 --> 00:40:44,867
I want 51% of the show.
922
00:40:44,876 --> 00:40:45,906
Deal.
And you have
923
00:40:45,911 --> 00:40:47,541
six months to get famous enough
924
00:40:47,546 --> 00:40:49,076
to star in
the American version,
925
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:52,080
or you have to go beg Rob Lowe
to come back.
926
00:40:57,155 --> 00:40:59,155
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And speaking of coming back...
927
00:41:05,063 --> 00:41:07,698
Tell him
what you told me.
928
00:41:07,699 --> 00:41:08,929
All of it.
929
00:41:08,934 --> 00:41:10,604
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And so she did.
930
00:41:10,605 --> 00:41:13,537
The sex, the submarine.
931
00:41:13,538 --> 00:41:15,068
She told me
to come here...
932
00:41:15,072 --> 00:41:16,612
Which you did.
...tell you everything...
933
00:41:16,613 --> 00:41:18,238
Which you did.
934
00:41:18,243 --> 00:41:19,783
...say that we broke up.
935
00:41:19,784 --> 00:41:21,238
Which we did.
936
00:41:21,246 --> 00:41:24,046
Although if they didn't,she'd be saying the same thing.
937
00:41:24,049 --> 00:41:26,919
And Derek?
What happened to him?
938
00:41:29,721 --> 00:41:31,021
He's dead.
939
00:41:31,022 --> 00:41:34,022
He was on her list.
940
00:41:34,025 --> 00:41:35,625
Along with your mom.
941
00:41:35,627 --> 00:41:37,157
I'm so sorry, Raf.
942
00:41:37,162 --> 00:41:38,829
Wait, my mom's not dead.
943
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:40,747
What?
944
00:41:40,748 --> 00:41:42,668
We need eyes on Elena Di Nola.
945
00:41:42,669 --> 00:41:44,867
Now. Hurry! Now.
946
00:41:44,870 --> 00:41:46,800
(coughs)
947
00:41:46,805 --> 00:41:49,905
(strained):
My son.
948
00:41:49,908 --> 00:41:52,276
My son...
949
00:41:52,277 --> 00:41:54,107
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know, I know!
950
00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:56,912
Now, that's what we calla big death.
67003
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