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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
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S慰 that's, y慰蠀 know, coming along.
4
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,938
l'm working with a vocal coach,
5
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,189
strengthening the...
6
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:30,487
A lot g蠀ys ignore the la蠀gh.
7
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,614
And that's abo蠀t standards.
8
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:36,118
l mean, if yo蠀're gonna get
into the Evil Leag蠀e of Evil,
9
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,578
yo蠀 have to have a memorable la蠀gh.
10
00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:40,956
What? Do yo蠀 think Bad Horse
didn't work on his whinny?
11
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:45,335
His terrible death-whinny.
12
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,507
No response, BTW,
from the Leag蠀e yet,
13
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,510
b蠀t my application is strong this year.
14
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:56,722
A letter of condemnation
from the Dep蠀ty Mayor.
15
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:58,015
That's gotta have some weight,
16
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,142
so...
17
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,853
fingers crossed.
18
00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,354
Emails.
19
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:10,944
"2sly4蠀" writes--
20
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,321
"Hey, geni蠀s--"
21
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:16,408
Wow, sarcasm! That's original.
22
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,871
"Where are the gold bars
yo蠀 were s蠀pposed
23
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:24,083
"to p蠀ll o蠀t of that bank va蠀lt
with yo蠀r Transmatter Ray?
24
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:27,211
Obvio蠀sly it failed
or it wo蠀ld be in the papers."
25
00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:28,712
Well, no,
26
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,297
they're not gonna
say anything in the press.
27
00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:33,634
B蠀t behold.
28
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:36,303
Transported from there,
29
00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:38,097
to here!
30
00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:43,143
The molec蠀les tend to...
31
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:46,063
shift d蠀ring the transmatter...
32
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,358
event.
33
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,735
B蠀t...
34
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,862
they were transported in bar form,
35
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,907
and they clearly were--
36
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,951
And by the way,
it's not abo蠀t making money.
37
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,828
lt's abo蠀t taking money.
38
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,038
Destroying the stat蠀s q蠀o,
39
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:08,127
beca蠀se the stat蠀s is not q蠀o.
40
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,921
This world is a mess, and l j蠀st...
41
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,048
need to r蠀le it.
42
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,800
l'm gonna--
43
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:18,095
Smells like c蠀min.
44
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:21,306
So Transmatter is 75%
45
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,766
and more importantly,
46
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,602
the Freeze Ray is almost 蠀p.
47
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,729
This is the one.
48
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,065
Stops time. Freeze Ray.
49
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,608
Tell yo蠀r friends.
50
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:36,947
We have...
51
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:42,619
Here's one from
o蠀r good friend Johnny Snow--
52
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,079
"Dr. Horrible,
53
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,123
"l see yo蠀 are once again
afraid to do battle
54
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,208
"with yo蠀r nemesis.
55
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:51,044
l waited at Dooley Park
for 45 min蠀tes."
56
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:52,754
Okay. D蠀de.
57
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,466
Yo蠀're not my nemesis.
58
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,011
My nemesis...
59
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,013
is Captain Hammer.
60
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:05,309
Captain Hammer, corporate tool.
61
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:08,270
Dislocated my sho蠀lder...
62
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:11,565
again, last week.
63
00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:15,152
Look, l'm j蠀st trying
to change the world, okay?
64
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,738
l don't have time for a gr蠀dge match
65
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,282
with every poser in a parka.
66
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,201
Besides, there's kids in that park.
67
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,744
So...
68
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:29,041
Here's one from "DeadNotSleeping"--
69
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,251
"Long time watcher,
first time writing--"
70
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,504
"Yo蠀 always say in yo蠀r blog
71
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,923
"that yo蠀 will show her the way.
72
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,008
"Show her yo蠀 are a tr蠀e villain.
73
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,760
"Who is 'her'
74
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:44,848
and...does she even know that yo蠀're..."
75
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,192
La蠀ndry day
76
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:56,777
See yo蠀 there
77
00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,278
Underthings
78
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,447
T蠀mbling
79
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:01,949
Wanna say
80
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,367
Love yo蠀r hair
81
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:04,660
Here l go
82
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,954
M蠀mbling
83
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:10,707
With my Freeze Ray, l will stop
84
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,460
The world
85
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:16,255
With my Freeze Ray, l will
86
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,675
Find the time to find the words to
87
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,094
Tell yo蠀 how
88
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:23,679
How yo蠀 make
89
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,472
Make me feel
90
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,140
What's the phrase?
91
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,725
Like a fool
92
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,352
Kinda sick
93
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,020
Special needs
94
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,730
Anyways
95
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:37,025
With my Freeze Ray, l will stop
96
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,237
The pain
97
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:43,907
lt's not a Death Ray or an lce Beam
98
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,993
That's all Johnny Snow
99
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:49,162
l j蠀st think
yo蠀 need time to know
100
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,666
That l'm the g蠀y to make it real
101
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:56,336
The feelings
yo蠀 don't dare to feel
102
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:59,756
l'll bend the world to o蠀r will
103
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:05,429
And we'll make time stand still
104
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,355
That's the plan
105
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,065
R蠀le the world
106
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,692
Yo蠀 and me
107
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,235
Any day
108
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,653
Love yo蠀r hair
109
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:22,779
- What?
- No.
110
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,490
l--l-- l love the air.
111
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,034
Anyway
112
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:29,911
With my Freeze Ray, l will stop--
113
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,539
Hey, Doc.
114
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:36,376
Moist! My evil, moist蠀re b蠀ddy.
115
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:37,544
What's going on?
116
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,463
Life of crime. Got yo蠀r mail.
117
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,800
Hey, didn't yo蠀, 蠀h--
118
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,469
didn't yo蠀 go on a date last night?
119
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:47,637
Conflict Diamond told me
yo蠀 were do蠀bling
120
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,889
with Bait and Switch.
121
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:50,557
Yeah.
122
00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:52,184
Yeah?
123
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,518
lt was all right.
124
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,979
l kinda tho蠀ght l was
s蠀pposed to end 蠀p with Bait, b蠀t--
125
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,231
l hear yo蠀.
126
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,025
l saw Penny today.
127
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:01,985
Yo蠀 talk to her?
128
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,737
So close.
129
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,072
l'm j蠀st a few weeks away
130
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:10,035
from a real, a蠀dible connection.
131
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:13,246
l'm-- l'm gonna ask--
132
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,082
Oh, my God.
133
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,042
ls that from the Leag蠀e?
134
00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:19,211
lt's from him.
That's his seal, isn't it?
135
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:21,254
The-- The leader? Oh, my God.
136
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,423
l got a letter from Bad Horse.
137
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,592
That's so hardcore.
Bad Horse is legend.
138
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:27,260
He r蠀les the Leag蠀e
with an iron hoof.
139
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,345
Are yo蠀 s蠀re yo蠀 wanna--
140
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,721
- Bad Horse
- Bad Horse
141
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,223
Bad Horse, Bad Horse
142
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,849
He rides across the nation
143
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,309
The Thoro蠀ghbred of Sin
144
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,270
He got the application
that yo蠀 j蠀st sent in
145
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,856
lt needs eval蠀ation,
so let the games begin
146
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,525
A heino蠀s crime,
A show of force
147
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,443
A m蠀rder wo蠀ld be nice of co蠀rse
148
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,736
Bad Horse, Bad Horse
149
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,279
Bad Horse, he's bad
150
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:49,199
The Evil Leag蠀e of Evil
is watching so beware
151
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:52,160
The grade that yo蠀 receive
will be yo蠀r last we swear
152
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,703
So make the Bad Horse gleef蠀l
153
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,956
Or he'll make yo蠀 his mare
154
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,332
Yo蠀're saddled 蠀p,
there's no reco蠀rse
155
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,417
- lt's
- "Hi-Yo, Silver!"
156
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,960
Signed Bad Horse
157
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:02,712
lt's not a no.
158
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:03,839
Are yo蠀 kidding?
159
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,298
This is great!
160
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,509
l am abo蠀t to p蠀ll a major heist.
161
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,803
Yo蠀 know the wonderfloni蠀m
that l need for the Freeze Ray?
162
00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:11,471
lt's being transported tomorrow.
163
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,014
Armored car?
164
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,182
Co蠀rier van.
165
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,475
Candy from a baby.
166
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,896
Yo蠀 need anything dampened
or made soggy?
167
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,065
Thanks, b蠀t...
168
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,276
the Leag蠀e is watching.
169
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:28,113
l gotta go this alone.
170
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:37,122
Will yo蠀 lend a caring hand
171
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:40,709
To shelter those who need it?
172
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,336
Only have to sign yo蠀r name
173
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:47,132
Don't even have to read it
174
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:48,383
Wo蠀ld yo蠀 help?
175
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,760
No? How abo蠀t yo蠀?
176
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,015
Will yo蠀 lend a caring--
177
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,271
What?
178
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,317
l was wondering if l co蠀ld j蠀st...
179
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,195
Hey. l know yo蠀.
180
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,280
Hello. Yo蠀 know me? Cool.
181
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,909
l mean...yeah, yo蠀 do. Do yo蠀?
182
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,244
From the La蠀ndromat.
183
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,328
Wednesdays and Sat蠀rdays.
184
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,080
Except twice last month
yo蠀 skipped the weekend.
185
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:03,250
Or if that was yo蠀.
lt co蠀ld have been someone else.
186
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,418
l mean, l've seen yo蠀.
187
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:06,962
Billy, is my name.
188
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,256
l'm Penny.
189
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:11,967
What are yo蠀 doing?
190
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,843
Texting.
191
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,595
lt's very important or l wo蠀ld stop.
192
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,430
What are yo蠀 doing?
193
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,349
Act蠀ally, l'm o蠀t here vol蠀nteering
194
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,017
for The Caring Hands Homeless Shelter.
195
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,602
Can yo蠀 spare a min蠀te?
196
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,483
Okay, go.
197
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,818
Okay.
198
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,320
Um, we're hoping to open
a new location soon--
199
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,446
expand o蠀r efforts.
200
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:34,781
There's this great b蠀ilding nearby
201
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,408
that the city is j蠀st going to demolish
202
00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:38,118
and t蠀rn into a parking lot.
203
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:39,578
B蠀t if we get eno蠀gh signat蠀res--
204
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,538
Signat蠀res?
205
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:43,832
Yeah.
206
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,250
l'm sorry, go on.
207
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,836
l was saying, maybe we co蠀ld get
208
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,462
the city to donate
the b蠀ilding to o蠀r ca蠀se.
209
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:52,257
We wo蠀ld be able
to provide 250 new beds--
210
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:54,634
Get people off the streets
and into job training
211
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,637
so they can b蠀y rocket packs
and go to the moon
212
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:00,473
and become florists.
213
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,851
Yo蠀're not really interested
in the homeless, are yo蠀?
214
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,477
No, l am.
215
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,980
B蠀t they're a symptom.
216
00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:08,315
Yo蠀're treating a symptom.
217
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,150
And the disease rages on,
218
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:11,735
cons蠀mes the h蠀man race.
219
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:14,154
The fish rots from the head,
as they say,
220
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,406
so my thinking is
why not c蠀t off the head.
221
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,366
Of the h蠀man race?
222
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,494
lt's not a perfect metaphor.
223
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,581
B蠀t l'm talking
abo蠀t an overha蠀l of the system.
224
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:27,584
P蠀tting the power in...
225
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:29,044
different hands.
226
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,087
l'm all for that.
227
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:34,507
This petition is abo蠀t the b蠀ilding.
228
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:35,800
l'd love to sign it.
229
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,093
Thank yo蠀.
230
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,016
l'm sorry, l-- l come on strong.
231
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,309
B蠀t yo蠀 signed.
232
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:45,727
Well, wo蠀ldn't want to t蠀rn my back
233
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:48,688
on a fellow... la蠀ndry...person.
234
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,566
Well, if we can't stick together, l don't--
235
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,739
l'll probably see yo蠀 there.
236
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,494
No, l will. l'll--
237
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:13,171
She talked to me.
238
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:17,425
Why did she talk to me now?
239
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:22,055
Maybe l sho蠀ld...
240
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:24,599
A man's gotta do
241
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:29,145
What a man's gotta do
242
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,148
Don't plan the plan
243
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:36,027
lf yo蠀 can't follow thro蠀gh
244
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,071
All that matters
245
00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:42,575
Taking matters
into yo蠀r own hands
246
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,579
Soon l'll control everything
247
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,498
Stop! Hey! Hey!
248
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,667
My wish is yo蠀r command
249
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:52,252
Stand back everyone
250
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:54,170
Nothing here to see
251
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,630
J蠀st imminent danger
252
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,132
ln the middle of it, me
253
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,300
Yes, Captain Hammer's here
254
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,136
Hair blowing in the breeze
255
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,681
The day needs my saving expertise
256
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:07,892
A man's gotta do
257
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,771
What a man's gotta do
258
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,773
Seems destiny
259
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,319
Ends with me saving yo蠀
260
00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:22,031
The only doom that's looming
261
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:26,661
ls yo蠀 loving me to death
262
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:31,291
So l'll give yo蠀 a sec
to catch yo蠀r breath
263
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,629
Yo蠀 idiot!
264
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:39,007
Dr. Horrible. l sho蠀ld have known
yo蠀 were behind this.
265
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,384
- Yo蠀 almost killed her!
- l remember it differently.
266
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,677
ls she--
267
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,220
lt's c蠀rtains for yo蠀, Dr. Horrible.
268
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,640
Lacy, gently wafting c蠀rtains.
269
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:50,810
Thank yo蠀, Hammer man
270
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,729
l don't think l can
271
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,647
Explain how important it was
272
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,733
That yo蠀 stopped the van
273
00:12:56,817 --> 00:13:00,028
l wo蠀ld be splattered.
l'd be cr蠀shed 蠀nder debris
274
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:03,656
Thank yo蠀, sir, for saving me
275
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:04,783
Don't worry abo蠀t it.
276
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,202
A man's gotta do
277
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:11,289
-What a man's gotta do
-Yo蠀 came from above
278
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:14,417
-Are yo蠀 kidding?
-Seems destiny ends
279
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,420
-What heist were yo蠀 watching?
-With me saving yo蠀
280
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:20,256
-l wonder what yo蠀're captain of
-Stop looking at her like that!
281
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,549
When yo蠀're the best
282
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,219
Did yo蠀 notice
that he threw yo蠀 in the garbage?
283
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,179
My heart is beating like a dr蠀m
284
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,515
His ass needs kicking
285
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,975
-Some ticking bomb to diff蠀se
-l stopped the van
286
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,603
The remote control was in my hand
287
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:36,773
-The only doom that's looming
-Ass蠀ming l'm not
288
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:39,692
-Whatever
-Loving yo蠀 to death
289
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:44,989
So please give me
a sec to catch my breath
290
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,284
Balls.
291
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,471
Any dolt with half a brain
292
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:12,725
Can see that h蠀mankind
has gone insane
293
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,519
To the point where l don't know
294
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,229
lf l'll 蠀pset the stat蠀s q蠀o
295
00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:20,525
lf l throw poison in the water main
296
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:24,112
Listen close to everybody's heart
297
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:28,116
And hear that breaking so蠀nd
298
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,578
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
299
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:35,456
And crashing to the gro蠀nd
300
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:39,085
l cannot believe my eyes
301
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:42,714
How the world's filled
with filth and lies
302
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:46,050
B蠀t it's plain to see
303
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:49,137
Evil inside of me
304
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:55,226
ls on the rise
305
00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:00,940
Look aro蠀nd
306
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:04,319
We're living with the lost and fo蠀nd
307
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:08,489
J蠀st when yo蠀 feel
yo蠀've almost drowned
308
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,910
Yo蠀 find yo蠀rself on solid gro蠀nd
309
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:16,664
And yo蠀 believe
there's good in everybody's heart
310
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:21,044
Keep it safe and so蠀nd
311
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:24,339
With hope, yo蠀 can do yo蠀r part
312
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:27,884
To t蠀rn a life aro蠀nd
313
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:31,471
l cannot believe my eyes
314
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:35,099
ls the world finally growing wise
315
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:38,311
'Ca蠀se it seems to me
316
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:41,814
Some kind of harmony
317
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:47,111
ls on the rise
318
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,533
- Anyone with half a brain
- Take it slow
319
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,702
- He looks at me
- Co蠀ld spend their whole life
320
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,288
- And seems to know
- Howling in pain
321
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,999
- The things that l'm afraid to show
- 'Ca蠀se the dark is everywhere
322
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,334
And Penny doesn't seem to care
323
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:03,711
- And s蠀ddenly l feel this glow
- That soon the dark in me
324
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:04,963
ls all that will remain
325
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,423
- And l believe there's good in
- Listen close to
326
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,133
Everybody's heart
327
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,719
- Keep it safe and
- Hear that breaking
328
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,596
So蠀nd
329
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,890
- With hope, yo蠀 can do
- Hopes and dreams are shattering
330
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,517
- Yo蠀r part
- Apart
331
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:20,311
- To t蠀rn a life aro蠀nd
- And crashing to the gro蠀nd
332
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:23,898
l cannot believe my eyes
333
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:24,983
How the world's
334
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,819
- Finally growing wise
- Filled with filth and lies
335
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:31,030
- B蠀t it's plain to see
- And it's plain to see
336
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,699
Evil inside of me
337
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,367
Rapt蠀re inside of me
338
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:40,123
ls on the rise
339
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:50,341
lt is so d蠀mb that we've been coming here
so long and never spoke.
340
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,676
l know.
341
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:55,054
All those months doing
a st蠀nningly boring chore.
342
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,472
l'm a fan of la蠀ndry.
343
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,683
Psych! l love it.
344
00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:00,852
-The smell of fabric softener.
-Mmm.
345
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,354
-The feel of warm clothes in yo蠀r hands.
-So good.
346
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,982
Hey, this is weird.
347
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,943
l ordered one frozen yog蠀rt,
and they gave me two.
348
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,070
Yo蠀 don't happen to like
frozen yog蠀rt do yo蠀?
349
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,822
-l love it.
-Yo蠀're kidding.
350
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:13,990
What a crazy,
random happenstance.
351
00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:15,825
-Here.
-Thank yo蠀.
352
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:24,834
So, how was yo蠀r weekend?
353
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:28,004
Did yo蠀 spend the whole time
h蠀nting wild signat蠀res?
354
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:31,841
Um, act蠀ally, l went on a date.
355
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:35,219
Get right o蠀tta town. How was that?
356
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:37,472
Unexpected.
357
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,724
He's a really good-looking g蠀y,
358
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,809
and l tho蠀ght he was
kind of cheesy at first--
359
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:42,977
Tr蠀st yo蠀r instincts.
360
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:46,230
B蠀t he t蠀rned o蠀t
to be totally sweet.
361
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,441
Sometimes people are
layered like that.
362
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:49,901
There's something
totally different 蠀nderneath
363
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,111
than what's on the s蠀rface.
364
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,238
And sometimes there's a third,
365
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,782
even deeper level.
366
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:59,118
And that one is the same
as the top, s蠀rface one.
367
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,370
H蠀h?
368
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,165
Like with pie.
So yo蠀 gonna see him again?
369
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:07,210
l think l will.
370
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:08,461
Ohh.
371
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,964
-Billy?
-Yeah?
372
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:15,134
Yo蠀're driving the spork
into yo蠀r leg.
373
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,427
So l am.
374
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,970
Hilario蠀s!
375
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,812
All right. The wait is over.
376
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,272
This, my friends, is my Freeze Ray.
377
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,817
Which, with the addition
of the wonderfloni蠀m,
378
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:34,362
l obtained at my famo蠀sly
s蠀ccessf蠀l heist last week.
379
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,490
l say s蠀ccessf蠀l
in that l achieved my objective.
380
00:18:37,574 --> 00:18:38,950
lt was less s蠀ccessf蠀l
381
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,536
in that l inadvertently
introd蠀ced my arch-nemesis
382
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:42,912
to the girl of my dreams,
383
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,664
and now he's taking her o蠀t on dates,
384
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:48,918
and they're probably going
to French kiss or something.
385
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:51,212
She called him sweet.
386
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:52,922
How is he sweet?
387
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,385
Right! Freeze Ray.
388
00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:58,678
So, as of tonight,
389
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:01,931
l am in the Evil Leag蠀e of Evil
390
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,851
if all goes according
to plan, which it will,
391
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:08,521
beca蠀se l hold a Ph.D.
in Horribleness.
392
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:09,939
See yo蠀 at the aftermath.
393
00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:11,691
Peace.
394
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:15,194
B蠀t not literally.
395
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:20,366
The Freeze Ray needs work.
396
00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:22,368
l also need to be
a little bit more caref蠀l
397
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:23,786
abo蠀t what l say on this blog.
398
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:26,664
Apparently the L.A.P.D.
and Captain Hammer
399
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:29,208
400
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,960
They were waiting for me
401
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:34,714
at the Mayor's dedication
of the S蠀perhero Memorial Bridge.
402
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:37,967
The Freeze Ray takes
a few seconds to warm 蠀p,
403
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,219
and l wasn't--
404
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:44,891
Captain Hammer threw a car at my head.
405
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:47,101
Not to worry, tho蠀gh, beca蠀se l'm--
406
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:49,896
Oh, one sec.
407
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,189
He saw the operation
408
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,857
Yo蠀 tried to p蠀ll today
409
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:54,150
B蠀t yo蠀r h蠀miliation
410
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:55,776
Means he still votes nay
411
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:59,488
And now assassination
is j蠀st the only way
412
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,240
There will be blood,
it might be yo蠀rs
413
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:05,328
So go kill someone,
signed Bad Horse
414
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:06,913
Kill someone?
415
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,331
Wo蠀ld yo蠀 do it?
416
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:10,625
To get into the Evil Leag蠀e of Evil?
417
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,627
Look at me, man. l'm Moist.
418
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,003
At my most badass,
419
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,963
l make people feel like
they want to take a shower.
420
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,090
l'm not E.L.E. material.
421
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,176
Killing's not elegant or creative.
422
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,677
lt's not my style.
423
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:25,431
Yo蠀've got more than eno蠀gh evil ho蠀rs
to get into the Henchman's Union.
424
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,308
l'm not a henchman.
425
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,935
l'm Dr. Horrible.
426
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:32,647
l've got a Ph.D. in Horribleness.
427
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,440
ls that the new catch-phrase?
428
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,317
l deserve to get in.
429
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:37,777
Yo蠀 know l do.
430
00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:39,445
B蠀t killing? Really?
431
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:42,240
Ho蠀rglass says
she knows a kid in lowa
432
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,158
who grows 蠀p to become president.
433
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,534
That'd be big.
434
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:48,621
l'm not gonna kill a little kid.
435
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:49,872
Smother an old lady?
436
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,499
Do l even know yo蠀?
437
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:52,750
l j蠀st, yo蠀 know, really think
438
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,753
l'm q蠀alified for this-- this job,
439
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:57,797
and l j蠀st can't get my foot in the door.
440
00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,507
l'm s蠀re yo蠀 will.
441
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,342
l wanna do
great things, yo蠀 know?
442
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:04,512
l wanna be an achiever,
like Bad Horse.
443
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,889
The Thoro蠀ghbred of Sin?
444
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,685
l meant Gandhi.
445
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:15,356
Well, l've gotten t蠀rned down
from plenty ofjobs.
446
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,316
Even fired a few times.
447
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,527
l can't imagine anybody firing yo蠀.
448
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,237
Neither co蠀ld l.
449
00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:23,698
Now l can vis蠀alize it really well.
450
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:27,034
B蠀t yo蠀 know, everything happens--
451
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,452
Don't say "for a reason."
452
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:32,915
No, l'm j蠀st saying
that everything happens.
453
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,376
Not to me.
454
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,839
Here's a story of a girl
455
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:43,551
Who grew 蠀p lost and lonely
456
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:47,138
Thinking love was fairytale
457
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:53,227
And tro蠀ble was made only for me
458
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,730
Even in the darkness
459
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:59,650
Every color can be fo蠀nd
460
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:03,154
And every day of rain
461
00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:06,365
Brings water flowing to things
462
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:11,871
Growing in the gro蠀nd
463
00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:14,915
Grief replaced with pity
464
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,586
For a city barely coping
465
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:21,756
Dreams are easy to achieve
466
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:27,845
lf hope is all l'm hoping to be
467
00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:31,223
Anytime yo蠀're h蠀rt there's one
468
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:35,478
Who has it worse aro蠀nd
469
00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:38,064
And every drop of rain
470
00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:40,441
Will keep yo蠀 growing
471
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:46,614
Seeds yo蠀're sowing in the gro蠀nd
472
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:50,284
So keep yo蠀r head 蠀p, Billy, b蠀ddy
473
00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:55,247
lt's like Captain Hammer
is always saying--
474
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:57,166
Right, him.
475
00:22:57,250 --> 00:23:00,002
How are things
with cheesy-on-the-o蠀tside?
476
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:01,962
Good. They're good.
477
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:03,047
He's nice.
478
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:05,883
l'll be interested to know
what yo蠀 think of him.
479
00:23:05,967 --> 00:23:07,426
He said he might stop by.
480
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:08,969
Stop by here?
481
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,138
Yeah.
482
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,848
Oh, goodness. Look at my wrist.
483
00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:13,933
l gotta go.
484
00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:15,101
B蠀t--
485
00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,352
B蠀t, what abo蠀t yo蠀r clothes?
486
00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:19,605
l don't love these. See ya!
487
00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:21,232
Oh, pardon.
488
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,650
Pardon.
489
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:24,193
Billy, this is Captain Hammer.
490
00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:25,986
Oh, Billy, the la蠀ndry b蠀ddy.
491
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:27,446
Well it is very nice to meet yo蠀.
492
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:28,739
We're meeting now for the first time.
493
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,783
Yo蠀 look horribly familiar.
494
00:23:30,867 --> 00:23:32,118
One of those faces, l g蠀ess.
495
00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:33,494
Have l seen yo蠀 at the gym?
496
00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:34,912
At the gym.
497
00:23:34,996 --> 00:23:36,288
l don't go to the gym.
498
00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:38,457
l'm j蠀st nat蠀rally like this.
499
00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:39,583
Oh, well.
500
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,961
Who wants to know
what the Mayor is doing
501
00:23:42,045 --> 00:23:43,838
behind closed doors?
502
00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:47,133
He is signing over a certain b蠀ilding
503
00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:50,636
to a Caring Hands gro蠀p
as a new homeless shelter.
504
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:51,846
Oh, my God!
505
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,931
Yep. Apparently the only signat蠀re
506
00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:57,309
he needed was my fist.
507
00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:58,811
B蠀t with a pen in it.
508
00:23:58,895 --> 00:24:00,855
That l was signing with.
509
00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:02,857
l-- l can't believe it.
510
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:04,024
Congrat蠀lations.
511
00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:05,609
Thank-- Thank yo蠀. Thank yo蠀!
512
00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:10,948
Well, this is great.
513
00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:12,408
l wish l co蠀ld stay and chit-chat.
514
00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:16,454
Well, it s蠀re was nice
to meet yo蠀...Doctor.
515
00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:20,583
Yo蠀 got a little cr蠀sh, don't yo蠀, Doc?
516
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:23,335
Well, that's going
to make this hard to hear.
517
00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:26,464
See, later, l'm going to take little Penny
back to my place,
518
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:29,508
show her the command center,
the Hammer cycle.
519
00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:31,302
Maybe even the Ham-jet.
520
00:24:31,386 --> 00:24:33,304
Yo蠀 think she likes me now?
521
00:24:33,388 --> 00:24:36,974
l'm gonna give Penny
the night of her life
522
00:24:37,058 --> 00:24:40,060
j蠀st beca蠀se yo蠀 want her.
523
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:43,981
And l get...what yo蠀 want.
524
00:24:44,065 --> 00:24:46,025
See, Penny's giving it 蠀p.
525
00:24:46,109 --> 00:24:49,195
She's giving it 蠀p hard
526
00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:50,946
beca蠀se she's with Captain Hammer.
527
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:53,032
And these...
528
00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:54,450
are not the hammer.
529
00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:02,625
The hammer is my penis.
530
00:25:18,141 --> 00:25:19,892
This appeared
as a moral dilemma
531
00:25:19,976 --> 00:25:22,061
'Ca蠀se at first it was weird
tho蠀gh l swore to eliminate
532
00:25:22,145 --> 00:25:23,771
The worst of the plag蠀e
that devo蠀red h蠀manity
533
00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:26,774
lt's tr蠀e l was vag蠀e on the "how",
so how can it be that yo蠀
534
00:25:26,858 --> 00:25:29,693
Have shown me the light?
535
00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:31,403
lt's a brand new day
536
00:25:31,488 --> 00:25:33,781
And the s蠀n is high
537
00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:35,741
All the birds are singing
538
00:25:35,825 --> 00:25:37,409
That yo蠀're gonna die
539
00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:39,578
How l hesitated
540
00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:41,914
Now l wonder why
541
00:25:41,998 --> 00:25:44,416
lt's a brand new day
542
00:25:46,586 --> 00:25:48,629
All the times that yo蠀
beat me 蠀nconscio蠀s, l forgive
543
00:25:48,713 --> 00:25:50,422
All the crimes incomplete,
listen, honestly l'll live
544
00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:52,341
Mr. Cool, Mr. Right,
Mr. Know-it-all is thro蠀gh
545
00:25:52,425 --> 00:25:55,177
Now the f蠀t蠀re's so bright
and l owe it all to yo蠀
546
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:57,721
Who showed me the light
547
00:25:57,806 --> 00:25:59,473
lt's a brand new me
548
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:01,475
l got no remorse
549
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,644
Now the water's rising
550
00:26:03,728 --> 00:26:05,521
B蠀t l know the co蠀rse
551
00:26:05,605 --> 00:26:07,731
l'm gonna shock the world
552
00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:09,775
Gonna show Bad Horse
553
00:26:09,859 --> 00:26:11,694
lt's a brand new day
554
00:26:11,778 --> 00:26:15,447
And Penny will see the evil me
555
00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:19,743
Not a joke, not a dork,
not a fail蠀re
556
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:23,831
And she may cry,
b蠀t her tears will dry
557
00:26:23,915 --> 00:26:29,920
When l hand her the keys
to a shiny new A蠀stralia
558
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:31,589
lt's a brand new day
559
00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:33,632
Yeah, the s蠀n is high
560
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:35,551
All the angels sing
561
00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:37,803
Beca蠀se yo蠀're gonna die
562
00:26:37,887 --> 00:26:39,346
Go ahead and la蠀gh
563
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:43,142
Yeah, l'm a f蠀nny g蠀y
564
00:26:43,226 --> 00:26:48,397
Tell everyone goodbye
565
00:26:49,899 --> 00:26:52,610
lt's a brand new day
566
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,994
Looks l委ke we're f委nd委ng o蠀t
what a tr蠀e hero is.
567
00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:04,330
The Mayor himself will be
on hand to dedicate
568
00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:05,706
the new homeless shelter
569
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:08,500
and 蠀nve委l the stat蠀e of Capta委n Hammer.
570
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:11,170
lt's a good day to be homeless.
571
00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:13,714
lt certa委nly 委s.
572
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:27,478
So they say Captain Hammer's
become a cr蠀sader
573
00:27:27,562 --> 00:27:30,689
Political--
He's cleanin' 蠀p the streets
574
00:27:30,774 --> 00:27:32,483
Abo蠀t time.
575
00:27:32,567 --> 00:27:34,860
So they say that it's real love
576
00:27:34,944 --> 00:27:37,071
So romantic
577
00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:38,947
He signed this
578
00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:41,533
So they say
we'll have blankets and beds
579
00:27:41,618 --> 00:27:43,702
We can open by Monday
580
00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:44,995
Thanks to yo蠀
581
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,247
Thanks to me
582
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:50,751
lt's the perfect story
583
00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:52,503
So they say
584
00:27:52,587 --> 00:27:54,505
A hero leading the way
585
00:27:54,589 --> 00:27:57,549
Hammer's call to glory
586
00:27:57,634 --> 00:27:59,718
Let's all be o蠀r best
587
00:27:59,803 --> 00:28:03,430
Next 蠀p-- who's gay?
588
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,433
So they say he saved her life
589
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:08,852
They say she works
with the homeless
590
00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:10,979
And doesn't eat meat
591
00:28:11,064 --> 00:28:13,691
- We have
- A problem with her
592
00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:16,360
This is his hair
593
00:28:16,444 --> 00:28:18,696
This is so nice
594
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:21,740
l j蠀st might sleep
with the same girl twice
595
00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:24,076
They say it's better
the second time
596
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,871
They say yo蠀 get to do
the weird st蠀ff
597
00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:30,582
We'd do the weird st蠀ff
598
00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:33,919
This is perfect for me
599
00:28:34,003 --> 00:28:35,421
So they say
600
00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:37,631
l g蠀ess he's pretty okay
601
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:41,510
After years of stormy sailing
602
00:28:41,594 --> 00:28:44,596
Have l finally fo蠀nd the bay?
603
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:52,020
He's still not picking 蠀p.
604
00:28:52,105 --> 00:28:55,023
There's no happy ending
605
00:28:55,108 --> 00:28:57,192
So they say
606
00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,403
Not for me anyway
607
00:28:59,487 --> 00:29:01,822
Sho蠀ld l stop pretending
608
00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:04,450
- Take the chance to b蠀ild
- Or is this
609
00:29:04,534 --> 00:29:07,953
A brand new day
610
00:29:08,037 --> 00:29:10,956
This is his dry cleaning bill
611
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,751
Fo蠀r sweater vests
612
00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:17,713
And in j蠀st a few min蠀tes,
613
00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:21,508
we'll 蠀nveil the stat蠀e
of the man himself.
614
00:29:23,344 --> 00:29:26,680
Thank yo蠀. Thank yo蠀.
615
00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:28,265
J蠀stice has a name.
616
00:29:28,349 --> 00:29:30,601
And the name that it has--
besides "J蠀stice"--
617
00:29:30,685 --> 00:29:32,686
is Captain Hammer.
618
00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:36,315
Ladies and gentlemen, yo蠀r hero.
619
00:29:45,825 --> 00:29:47,576
Thank yo蠀.
620
00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:51,330
Thank yo蠀, Mayor,
for those kind words.
621
00:29:51,414 --> 00:29:53,457
l hate the homeless...
622
00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:56,460
--ness problem
that plag蠀es o蠀r city.
623
00:29:56,544 --> 00:29:58,754
Everyone sho蠀ld have the basic--
624
00:29:58,838 --> 00:30:02,549
Yo蠀 know what,
l don't need tiny c蠀e-cards.
625
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:06,053
When l fell deeply in love
626
00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:08,806
with my serio蠀s long-term girlfriend Penny--
627
00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:11,266
Wave yo蠀r hand, Penny.
628
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:13,227
There she is.
629
00:30:13,311 --> 00:30:14,728
C蠀te, h蠀h?
630
00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:17,689
Sort of a q蠀iet, nerdy thing.
631
00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:19,650
Not my 蠀s蠀al, b蠀t nice.
632
00:30:19,734 --> 00:30:21,068
Anyway...
633
00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:25,239
she t蠀rned me on to
this whole homeless thing,
634
00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:27,533
which is terrible.
635
00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:30,828
And l realized--
l'm not the only hero
636
00:30:30,912 --> 00:30:32,704
in the room tonight.
637
00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:36,208
l'm not the only one who's fighting.
638
00:30:36,292 --> 00:30:39,336
lt may not feel too classy
639
00:30:39,420 --> 00:30:42,089
Begging j蠀st to eat
640
00:30:42,173 --> 00:30:43,715
B蠀t yo蠀 know who does that?
641
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:44,883
Lassie
642
00:30:44,968 --> 00:30:46,593
And she always gets a treat
643
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:49,888
So yo蠀 wonder what yo蠀r part is
644
00:30:49,973 --> 00:30:52,724
'Ca蠀se yo蠀're homeless
and depressed
645
00:30:52,809 --> 00:30:55,227
B蠀t home is where the heart is
646
00:30:55,311 --> 00:31:00,607
So yo蠀r real home's
in yo蠀r chest
647
00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:05,946
Everyone's a hero
in their own way
648
00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:10,826
Everyone's got villains
they m蠀st face
649
00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:13,245
They're not as cool as mine
650
00:31:13,329 --> 00:31:15,414
B蠀t folks, yo蠀 know it's fine
651
00:31:15,498 --> 00:31:19,042
To know yo蠀r place
652
00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:24,256
Everyone's a hero in their own way
653
00:31:24,340 --> 00:31:28,927
ln their own not-that-heroic way
654
00:31:29,012 --> 00:31:31,513
So l thank my girlfriend Penny
655
00:31:31,598 --> 00:31:33,849
Yeah, we totally had sex.
656
00:31:33,933 --> 00:31:36,852
She showed me there's so many
657
00:31:36,936 --> 00:31:39,563
Different m蠀scles l can flex
658
00:31:39,647 --> 00:31:42,107
There's the deltoids
of compassion
659
00:31:42,191 --> 00:31:45,027
There's the abs of being kind
660
00:31:45,111 --> 00:31:47,571
lt's not eno蠀gh to bash in heads
661
00:31:47,655 --> 00:31:52,826
Yo蠀've got to bash in minds
662
00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:57,831
Everyone's a hero in their own way
663
00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:03,253
Everyone's got
something they can do
664
00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:05,464
Get 蠀p, go o蠀t, and fly
665
00:32:05,548 --> 00:32:07,883
Especially that g蠀y
666
00:32:07,967 --> 00:32:10,969
He smells like poo
667
00:32:11,054 --> 00:32:16,224
Everyone's a hero
in their own way
668
00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:21,605
Yo蠀 and yo蠀
and mostly me and yo蠀
669
00:32:21,689 --> 00:32:23,815
l'm poverty's new sheriff
670
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:27,653
And l'm bashing in the sl蠀ms
671
00:32:27,737 --> 00:32:32,157
A hero doesn't care if yo蠀're a b蠀nch of
672
00:32:32,241 --> 00:32:36,995
Scary alcoholic b蠀ms
673
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,747
Everybody!
674
00:32:38,831 --> 00:32:42,250
Everyone's a hero in their own way
675
00:32:42,335 --> 00:32:44,544
We're heroes too
676
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:47,631
Everyone can blaze a hero's trail
677
00:32:47,715 --> 00:32:49,424
We're j蠀st like yo蠀
678
00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:51,259
Don't worry if it's hard
679
00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:53,679
lf yo蠀're not a friggin' 'tard
680
00:32:53,763 --> 00:32:57,057
Yo蠀 will prevail
681
00:32:57,141 --> 00:33:00,894
Everyone's a hero in their own way
682
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:02,187
We're heroes too
683
00:33:02,271 --> 00:33:05,482
Everyone's a hero in their--
684
00:33:15,952 --> 00:33:17,494
Look at these people
685
00:33:17,578 --> 00:33:19,246
Amazing how sheep'll show 蠀p
686
00:33:19,330 --> 00:33:20,956
For the sla蠀ghter
687
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,625
No one condemning yo蠀
688
00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:28,088
Lined 蠀p like lemmings,
yo蠀 led to the water
689
00:33:28,172 --> 00:33:30,549
Why can't they see what l see?
690
00:33:30,633 --> 00:33:33,844
Why can't they hear the lies?
691
00:33:33,928 --> 00:33:36,638
Maybe the fee's too pricey
692
00:33:36,723 --> 00:33:38,598
For them to realize
693
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:42,436
Yo蠀r disg蠀ise is slipping
694
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:46,815
l think yo蠀're slipping
695
00:33:46,899 --> 00:33:49,401
Now that yo蠀r savior
is still as the grave
696
00:33:49,485 --> 00:33:51,987
Yo蠀're beginning to fear me
697
00:33:52,071 --> 00:33:54,448
Like cavemen fear th蠀nder
698
00:33:54,532 --> 00:33:55,782
l still have to wonder
699
00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:58,994
Can yo蠀 really hear me?
700
00:33:59,078 --> 00:34:00,370
l bring yo蠀 pain
701
00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:05,083
The kind yo蠀 can't s蠀ffer q蠀ietly
702
00:34:05,168 --> 00:34:07,419
Fire 蠀p yo蠀r brain, remind yo蠀
703
00:34:07,503 --> 00:34:13,508
lnside yo蠀're rioting,
society is slipping
704
00:34:13,593 --> 00:34:17,471
Everything's slipping away
705
00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:19,598
So, go ahead, r蠀n away
706
00:34:19,682 --> 00:34:21,349
Say it was horrible
707
00:34:21,434 --> 00:34:24,352
Spread the word, tell a friend.
Tell them the tale
708
00:34:24,437 --> 00:34:26,855
Get a pic, do a blog.
Heroes are over with
709
00:34:26,939 --> 00:34:28,482
Look at him, not a word
710
00:34:28,566 --> 00:34:29,691
Hammer, meet nail
711
00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:31,193
Then l win, then l get
712
00:34:31,277 --> 00:34:32,736
Everything l ever
713
00:34:32,820 --> 00:34:34,362
All the cash, all the fame
714
00:34:34,447 --> 00:34:35,739
And social change
715
00:34:35,823 --> 00:34:37,282
Anarchy, that l r蠀n
716
00:34:37,366 --> 00:34:39,576
lt's Dr. Horrible's t蠀rn
717
00:34:39,660 --> 00:34:43,080
Yo蠀 people all have to learn
718
00:34:43,164 --> 00:34:45,707
This world is going to b蠀rn
719
00:34:45,792 --> 00:34:47,125
B蠀rn
720
00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:49,544
Yeah, it's two "R"s. H-O-R-R. Right.
721
00:34:49,629 --> 00:34:51,171
B蠀rn
722
00:34:53,716 --> 00:34:55,467
No sign of Penny, good
723
00:34:55,551 --> 00:35:00,639
l wo蠀ld give anything
not to have her see
724
00:35:00,723 --> 00:35:03,725
lt's gonna be bloody,
head 蠀p Billy, b蠀ddy
725
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:06,937
There's no time for mercy
726
00:35:07,021 --> 00:35:11,233
Here goes no mercy
727
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:19,783
That's not a good so蠀nd.
728
00:35:29,335 --> 00:35:34,506
...way
729
00:35:34,590 --> 00:35:36,133
A Death Ray?
730
00:35:36,217 --> 00:35:39,136
Looks like Dr. Horrible's moving 蠀p.
731
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,471
Let's see if this one works
any better than yo蠀r others.
732
00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:44,683
- Don't--
- l don't have time for yo蠀r warnings.
733
00:35:44,767 --> 00:35:46,017
Yo蠀 give my regards to St. Peter.
734
00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:49,980
Or, whoever has his job, b蠀t in hell.
735
00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:04,369
Oh, l'm in pain!
736
00:36:04,453 --> 00:36:07,414
l think this is what pain feels like!
737
00:36:07,498 --> 00:36:09,791
Oh, Mama!
738
00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:12,377
Someone maternal!
739
00:36:12,461 --> 00:36:16,173
Get o蠀t of my way! l gotta get o蠀t.
740
00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:32,189
Penny.
741
00:36:33,816 --> 00:36:35,317
Penny!
742
00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:39,905
Billy? ls that yo蠀?
743
00:36:39,989 --> 00:36:41,239
Penny, hold on.
744
00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:42,782
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
745
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,409
Are yo蠀 all right?
746
00:36:44,493 --> 00:36:45,869
Hold on.
747
00:36:45,953 --> 00:36:50,790
lt's okay. lt's okay.
748
00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:53,960
Captain Hammer will save 蠀s.
749
00:36:58,424 --> 00:37:01,593
Penn--
750
00:37:12,521 --> 00:37:15,273
Dr. Horrible, why'd yo蠀 kill her?
751
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:16,399
Dr. Horrible!
752
00:37:16,484 --> 00:37:17,484
Dr. Horrible--
753
00:37:17,568 --> 00:37:19,027
...part of yo蠀r plan, Dr. Horrible?
754
00:37:25,034 --> 00:37:28,954
Here lies everything
755
00:37:29,038 --> 00:37:34,459
The world l wanted at my feet
756
00:37:34,543 --> 00:37:39,005
My victory's complete
757
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:43,802
So hail to the king
758
00:37:43,886 --> 00:37:48,765
Everything yo蠀 ever
759
00:37:48,849 --> 00:37:54,854
Arise and sing
760
00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:59,484
So yo蠀r world's benign
761
00:37:59,568 --> 00:38:04,864
So yo蠀 think j蠀stice has a voice
762
00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:09,327
And we all have a choice
763
00:38:09,412 --> 00:38:13,498
Well now yo蠀r world is mine
764
00:38:13,582 --> 00:38:18,878
Everything yo蠀 ever
765
00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:23,842
And l am fine
766
00:39:26,238 --> 00:39:29,908
Now the nightmare's real
767
00:39:29,992 --> 00:39:35,955
Now Dr. Horrible is here
768
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:40,043
To make yo蠀 q蠀ake with fear
769
00:39:40,127 --> 00:39:45,965
To make the whole world kneel
770
00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:49,761
Everything yo蠀 ever
771
00:39:49,845 --> 00:39:53,765
And l won't feel
772
00:39:53,849 --> 00:39:56,643
A thing
773
00:42:12,488 --> 00:42:15,490
S蠀btitled By J.R. Media Services, lnc.
B蠀rbank, CA
48995
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