Original subtitles

FN P90, personal defense weapon,

ideal for close-quarter combat,

capable of penetrating body armour.

Yeah, all right pal. You're not on the Shopping Channel.

I know the spec.

Back a pace. I need a wider visual.

So, I guess you know what this is?

- Shit. - Well, I know it's not loaded.

Are you sure?

Pretty sure.

Shall we find out?

Jesus mate! Have you got a death-wish?

I never carry guns and ammo together.

It's like taking a fox and a chicken across a river.

- What? - It's a brain teaser.

You've got a fox, a chicken, and a bag of grain.

- You've got to transport the chicken ...

Yeah, I don't give a shit about foxes and chickens.

What else you got?

Wait there.

What's happening? Did he ID you?

He couldn't ID his own arse in a hall of mirrors.

But thanks for looking out for me...

"Mate!"

John, listen, about earlier,

back at your house, what you think you saw...

Shut it, he's coming back.

Mossberg 500 12-gauge pump-action shotgun.

This is your All-American classic.

Keep your cool, John.

If we crack this we're one step closer to the top.

14-inch barrel, six pounds in weight

Effective firing range of up to forty meters.

Since I like you, I can throw in a freebie.

Tactical red-dot light...[indistinct]

Oh. And cheese.

- Did you say cheese? - Yeah, I said cheese.

For your camera Detective Inspector Major.

Carver, cover's blown, it's a setup!

Shit, Major, move. John, move!

I ain't leaving without answers! Who set me up?

I don't know!

Major, they're coming! Get out of there!

- Gimme a name! - Enough, move!

[inaudible]

I'm sorry, DI Carver.

Your partner was an excellent officer.

You two were the best team on the Force.

In a way it's like you've both died.

Yes, boss.

We'll name something after him. Something important...

Like a helicopter or a canteen...

A bird bath, whatever.

Kelly.

- John! - I'm sorry, Mrs Major.

Your husband was an excellent officer.

I think she just wants to be left alone, boss.

Of course.

Can someone get rid of this corpse?

- What are the stats? - 84% suitability.

Do it!

All right mate?

From Judy in the office.

She was too upset to bring 'em, so asked me to.

I mean, I paid for 'em, so technically they're from me.

Sorry John.

I should have come sooner.

But I just felt so guilty about ...

- Fuckin' hell! - Hello, Roy.

What the fuck?

Oh! I thought you'd say Jesus!

So I could go: "No! But we both came back from the dead! "

- Jesus! - Nah, the moment's gone now.

But I saw you die, John. I gave you CPR.

I felt your blood runnin' through me fingers

when I tried to get your heart goin'

I'm the best cop in the unit, mate.

They had to bring me back.

"They"? Who are "they"?

The geeks. The...Techie bods.

Oh my God!

No, not him you tool.

He's flyin' a plane.

Her!

They rebuilt me. With computers.

Err, she'll explain all the science bit.

So are you like...a robot?

I'm the same DI Major who's been

savin' your arse for the last 10 years.

- I've just been augmented. - What does that mean?

What - "augmented"? I dunno.

They all keep usin' it, I should probably check.

Does your wife know?

What "augmented" means?

No! That you're back from the dead, you dickhead!

I thought you could help me tell her.

You two always got along.

Anyway! The boss wants to see us.

Fuckin' hell!

I'm only kidding.

- So, why do you feel guilty? - Eh?

Well, back there you said you felt guilty.

What for?

Oh, nothing.

You feel guilty about nothing?

It's a normal psychological reaction,

isn't it?...when someone dies.

Is it?

Yeah, yeah.

What's with the bird bath?

Appreciate the flowers, Judy. But I'm not dead.

I'm not Judy.

John Major! It's good to have you back.

- Thank you, boss. - This place was nothing without you.

You're the best cop in the unit.

Compared to you,

the rest of the people in here are worse than shit.

Boss, I still don’t get any of this. I saw this man die.

I was chief pallbearer at his funeral.

We had to stage a funeral for cover.

It was Gracie in the coffin.

- What, I buried a sniffer dog? - Full police honours.

It's what she would've wanted, Roy.

Why didn't you tell me this was happening?

You must have at least needed permission from his wife.

The only permission we need is this guy's.

- Do we have your permission, John? - Hell, yeah!

Hell, yeah!

Look, it's the first time this procedure's been tried.

We had to keep it under wraps in case it went tit-shaped.

"Procedure"? What procedure? What did you do?

Dr. Parfit will explain.

She's an American.

The subject sustained

irreparable damage to several organs.

These we transplanted with replacements grown from stem cells.

Now, for the higher cortical areas, we pioneered a technique

of fusing artificial intelligence modules

with the subject's pre-existing neural networks.

- Mmm! - You put computers in his head.

So he is a robot.

- No! - Yes!

So is he like, what? Part-robot?

He is 90% human, 10% non-organic matter.

Let’s just say I'm 150% human.

- Let's not say that. - So, does that mean he...

can't get hurt? He can't die? - Damn right it does!

No, it does not mean that.

Argh, argh!

Yeah. Thanks for clearing all that up!

Look, it's simple: he was dead, she brought him back, now he's better.

- It's not brain surgery. - Well, technically it is brain...

Blah blah blah. Listen, I've got unfinished business out there.

So let's find the guy who shot me and nail his head to his arse.

Easy, tiger.

That investigation's in the capable hands of

DIs Gilbert and Ryle.

And we need to check you're in full working order

before we let you loose on the streets.

A trial period.

Besides, you've got other things to deal with.

Mm?

Your wife?

Kelly knows I'm alive. They sent an officer.

So she knows she attended the funeral of an English springer spaniel?

Yeah.

Yeah you're right then not to worry about it.

She probably baked you a cake!

You look more nervous than me. What's up?

Nothing.

Here.

Ah mate, it's really good to have you back.

Losing you was hard.

Well I'm back now, so everything's fine!

Yeah, but it must be weird for you,

y'know, dying and then,

coming back part AI. I mean, how does it feel?

It's like, you know when you go to sleep,

and then you wake up,

and you're awake again. - Yeah.

It's kind of like that.

So, listen, what happened to the case we were working on?

Operation Blue Finch?

It got closed down after you got shot.

It's the reason I got shot!

Find my killer and we crack Blue Finch.

Just before it happened, Kristof, that dealer, he said something to you.

The wire went down and I couldn't catch it,

do you remember what he said?

I remember a name.

I don't know exactly where it came from,

but it's very clear in my mind.

OK that's good, go on.

Blumenthal.

Heston Blumenthal.

- Nah, that's a TV chef. - Is it? Oh, maybe it's not him then.

Do you remember anything else from that night?

The last thing I remember was earlier on.

You came round to our place, we had Chinese.

- It's not relevant. - I had that blazing row with Kelly,

stormed off to the pub.

- That's not important. - I didn't come home for hours,

and when I did, your car was still in the driveway

and I remember thinking, "I mean,

that's weird, what's he still doing here? "

John, John, John, John, you're focusing on the wrong thing.

Focus on the shooting.

Rick Stein!

- Also a TV chef. - Gino D'Acampo? - A chef.

Ken Hom!

Maybe we should leave this for now, eh?

Yeah.

"I mean, that's weird! What's he still doing here?"

John, John ...

Hi Honey.

I'm home.

You look fantastic, considering...

- Considering what? - The grief.

The grief ... the grief. Well it's,

it's been a difficult year, so...

Wahay! Hello, you!

Well, I'm back now.

- I should go. - No, God, Roy!

You've got a lot to talk about.

No, no, please stay! I'll get some more wine.

Yeah.

I'll go and give her a hand, yeah.

- What the fuck are we gonna do? - I don't know, Roy. I don't know.

Does he know about us? Does he remember that night...the night!?

I think we'd know if he remembered.

Is he the same as before?

Yeah, yeah, but it's like he's a bit of a knob.

And?

Yeah, did you manage to hide all my stuff?

Oh God yes it's all bagged up. It's in the shed.

Oh my God!

What?

Something's been going on here.

You've extended the kitchen.

Yes. Yes Yes Yes Yes. there was a payout after you got sh ... So I...

...there was... I did that ... And I,

I, I also converted the loft, as well, so ...

Oh, you have been keeping busy. Where's the wine then?

"You're running low on butter and hummus."

Oh, Pinot Grigio. Got the same wine Roy always buys.

You see! Augmented. Nothing gets past me.

- "Thank you, Roy, enjoy your wine." - You take this through.

I'll grab my bag from the car. - Your Bag?

Yeah, it's just a few bits.

We'll have to do a proper clothes shop on the weekend.

I lost a little bit of weight getting shot.

No, no, no, no, no, John.

You didn't think you were gonna move straight back in, did you?

- Well, this is my house! - I know it is, sweetheart,

I think, I think I n-.., we just need a little bit more time.

Time? I've been dead a year, how much more time do you need?

I know. Exactly! You've been dead a year,

y'know, it ripped my life apart

and then today they tell me that you're alive but you're part computer,

it's just a lot to take in. - I understand.

- How about tomorrow? - No! - Day after?

No, John. We just need to get to know each other again.

We don't! I'm still me, the same man that you married,

just with new wiring.

Improvements, really.

Think of me as like...

Oscar Pistorius.

That's probably not the reference I would have gone for, personally.

No?

- What went wrong? - Kelly doesn't want me back!

She didn’t say that, John. What d'you mean "what went wrong"?

You’re the Silicon Valley genius, he's meant to be perfect.

But he's a work in progress,

a prototype. I need you to monitor him,

for abnormal behavior.

Subtle things, that only you would notice.

Are you sure you didn't have any bits left over

when you finished rewiring him?

Balls to this, Carver! I got no home, no wife.

Let's go and find the bastard who shot me!

Is he going to be OK?

He better be.

We don’t want this project shut down.

What do you mean, "shut down"?

Just, don't overstress him. And watch out for any unusual responses.

And try not to get him wet!

Got him.

Look, this fella's a small-time drug dealer.

He doesn’t know nothing about the shooting.

He was at the deal. He's connected somehow,

whether he knows it or not.

He was questioned a year ago.

Yeah, by Gilbert and Ryle, not by me.

All right, but look, this is unofficial. So tread softly.

Roger that.

Open up, Cleasby! It's judgement day!

Get out of my flat! Get out immediately!

- Oh oh sorry. - I call the police! - Wrong door.

Yeah, it's that one.

Cleasby!

Jesus!

No!

But we both came back from the dead!

But ... You're dead. You got shot and you died.

Don't believe everything you see on the news, Cleasby.

It wasn't on the news.

Oh, wasn't it? Well, in the papers then.

We got some questions for you, Cleasby.

Or online! And let's face it, that's where

most people are getting their news these days.

I answered your questions already. I shouldn't have been there.

I'm drugs, not guns.

Look, it's all connected, and you know it is.

Just tell us who's supplying the product these days.

Amazon Prime.

Answer the question, Cleasby. Or live to regret it.

Is that a threat?

Oh, no, my friend, that's not a threat.

That is a promise.

Except, a promise to do harm is a threat...

that's what the word, threat, means. so technically it's ...

Yeah, I suppose... Then yes! It's a threat!

Oi, oi, oi.

We know that you're just a low-level little scrote.

We want someone important.

- Take us to the supplier. - Sorry, I’m fully stocked,

I don't need to... HO! What the fuck ?!

Major, what are you doing?

I'm simply disposing of the drugs.

Well why didn't you put them down the sink then, for Christ's sake?

Good one! I was gonna do that anyway.

What?

Looks like you're out of stock, Cleasby.

Time for a trip to the wholesaler.

Are you all right?

Yeah. You're forgetting that

narcotics don't affect me any... more...

- Are you sure? - I'm pretty sure, yeah.

"Pretty sure"?

99.9 percent

which is 999, which is the number of the police,

which is the upside-down of 666, which is the number of the beast,

which is the bad guys!

OK.

I don’t like this. This is bad.

OK, Cleasby, when the supplier turns up,

just act natural.

And stop touching your ear.

This is a nice par cark.

Haa haa haa. I said par cark.

I meant to say parkcark.

So why did I say par cark?

- Because you're very high on drugs. - I am not ...high ...on drugs!

OK. Then something's been lost in all this AI digital bullshit,

and you've come back a really crap copper.

Okay, It's the drugs. But I got us a result!

Cleasby's meeting his supplier and we... we gonna nail him!

OK. He's here. Can you hear me? He's coming.

"We" are nailing no one. You...

- ...are staying in the car. - I’ll be sad in the car.

And don't touch anything! I fuckin' mean it!

Roy!

Sick!

Hey, schoff lad.

Yes! Get him! Go Roy!

Listen! I don't want to arrest you.

I'm working my way up the food chain here. OK?

Why is he letting him go?

My God ...

Carver, it's you ...

You've been in on this from the start! That's why you felt guilty!

You set me up! It all makes sense!

Security mode activated.

Someone shot my partner. You're gonna help me find him.

- Roy !!! I know it was you! - Is this guy with you?

Don’t worry about him, he's just confused.

Go on, mate. Talk to me. What do you know?

Bastard!

Don't worry, I won't let him lay a finger on you...

What did you do that for?

I know it was you that got me shot.

You set it up, the whole thing.

That's why you left me in the car just now.

That's why you let the suspect go!

I left you in the car because you're off your head!

And I didn’t let the suspect go!

You did!

Now can you let me go? Please!

You bell-end!

Fuckin' hell! Aargh!

Are you all right, Roy?

From Judy. In the office.

She was too upset to come.

How are you doing? Okay?

No, I died, but luckily enough they brought me back to life

and replaced my brain with a ZX-Spectrum.

Was that a dig at me? All right, fair enough.

I feel bad about what's happened.

It looks worse than what it is. There's no internal damage ...

I'm gonna stop you there, Roy. That's not the thing I feel bad about.

The thing I feel bad about, is the thing I haven’t told you yet.

Clearly, we acted without authorisation,

and caused a public disturbance. - "We" did that?!

Dennett wanted answers, and um,

I blamed you.

What?

Yeah. I said you took a load of drugs,

let the suspect go, and jumped off the car park.

- Why would you do that? - You heard what Dennett said.

This is a trial period. I'm on probation, Roy.

I can’t tell her I screwed up.

- So you told her I screwed up? - No! Well, yes, but I explained it.

You should have heard me. I really defended you.

- Oh, thanks for that! - You're welcome.

Yeah, well just so you know, when I file my own report,

I'll be giving a truthful account of exactly what happened!

You can't!

- Watch me! - Carver, I'm serious.

They'll switch me off. If they think I've failed I'll be ...

- What? "Terminated"? - Don't take the piss. I'm desperate.

This is your chance to make it up to me.

Make what up?

At the bird bath, you said you felt guilty.

Do you remember when I got shot? You tried to save my life.

You did CPR and felt my blood on your fingers, well,

here's your second chance, and this time, you can save my life.

Would you say it was you?

Just this once. But never again.

Thank you ... Ooh, ooh.

- I'll love you and leave you. - Just leave me is fine.

A couple more quick things.

I broke your car trying to hot-wire it,

and I was also sick on the seat.

And you should probably get it out of that car park

'cos it's like thirty quid a day in there.

Oh, and Carver? It's good to be back!

Jesus.

He's leaving the hospital now.

I played dumb, just like you said.

No, he never even mentioned your name, boss.

I don't think he remembers.

No,

if anything, he's come back a bit shit.

I'll keep tabs.

Let you know if we need to finish him,

again.

You said you wanted to get back on serious crimes!

Not by committing one!

Have you tried switching yourself off and on again?

Like a computer!

Oh shit!

I thought you had your own place.

I do have my own place, Kelly. You just won't let me live in it.

Holy shit, a foot!