Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull

♪♪

beard trimmer buzzing

♪♪

customer service representatives indistinct

woman Give me a second, Ill send it over.

Okay, is this everybody?

Just leave the door open.

All right, gentlemen...

and... lady.

My name is Bob Glasser.

Ive been sent from corporate in Akron

to boost your productivity.

Now we found the best way to do that

is in boosting the fun quotient of your employees.

So Im going to tell you a joke.

Cissy Strut by The Meters playing

By the by, any joke told in the confines of this office

must be within OSHA regulations

and not create any discomfort, sexual or otherwise

to the audience listening to said joke.

Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.

All right, a priest, a minister, and a gay rabbi walk into a brothel.

♪♪

- What is that? - woman Uh...

Thats G-Money. He works here.

- G-Money? - G-Money is his nickname.

- He works here? - Yes.

Well, thats unacceptable.

Just looking at this man,

you can tell that hes breaking about eight different dress code policies.

Yes, but G-Money is actually a special case.

Special? Oh, like special?

So we get a little tax credit or something?

No, no, not that kind of special.

He is the companys top sales performer for three straight years.

- That? That is top sales? - woman Morning, G-Money!

- man G-Money! - woman 2 Good morning, G!

- For three years? - Three years.

- The peacock? - Mm-hmm.

All right. Id like to see him in my office.

- Okay. - The rest of you can F-O.

- Ill tell you the joke later. - Okay.

- Oh... - Is this... is this my office?

First in overall sales.

First in ancillary sales. Well...

This is impressive.

- Thank you, sir. - I just dont understand

how is it that youre outperforming

my entire sales staff by...

364%?!

The truth?

I love my job.

Thats good. Very good.

- Bob, Ive got to ask. - What?

Is that... and gosh darn it if it is...

Im frizzle-frazzled and pardon my French, all of it...

Is that a Blues Travelers harmonica?

- You have a good eye. - Shut the front door!

- Are you kidding me? - No, Im not kidding you!

- What? You? - Yes!

Come on, are you a fan of the Traveler?

- Yes, Im a Traveler fan. - Okay, heres what happened.

When the Traveler came to town I got backstage, BS.

After he signs this harmonica,

he lets me put on his harmonica belt.

- Okay, well, mines not that, but 2014... - Uh-huh.

- Popper, Red Rocks. - Ooh.

- A little high. You know? - Yeah.

You know what we do at the Traveler.

- What happens at the Traveler... - ...stays there.

Im in the audience,

- harmonica solo with his nose. - Shut up!

- Nasal solo. - Thats amazing.

- Yes! 14 minutes. - What?

- Yeah. - We should jam sometime.

Oh, my God. Id jam right now.

- You play? - Yeah. You got some peanut butter?

- Because I got the jam, baby. - laughing

You dont think I carry a harmonica with me everywhere I go?

Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?

- Yeah! I do. - What? No!

harmonicas playing

♪♪

What do you want?

Excuse me?

Oh. Yeah. Can I get a wine spritzer, please?

Actually, no, make that a lemon drop martini.

Kely Speaking as a literary agent,

not everyone has to be dead at the end of a childrens story.

I just think its a part of life, right?

The sooner, the better for them to learn it.

- Right. - Yeah.

mouthing Come here.

No.

mouthing You. Them. Both.

Absolutely not! You come here.

Ill be right back. Excuse me.

sighs

What the fuck, Sara?

- Shh. Just check out this guy. - ...tell you what colors are.

The disjunctive perturbation of the spatial relationship

brings within its realm of discourse

a distinct juxtaposition.

Hes the reason people hate art.

Really? Then whyd you bring me here?

Because you write romance novels,

and you need to get laid.

One circles small,

down in the bottom, its big. Why?

Okay, can we talk about something other than men?

Youre a lit agent. You should know about the Bechdel test.

Okay. Shall we discuss your deadline?

No! Anything but that. God, I wish I could return that stupid advance.

First of all, I negotiated that advance for you,

so its not stupid, its amazing.

Especially considering the fact that nobody reads anymore!

- man yelps - Damn it, Sara.

I pulled you out of your sad girl cave to inspire you.

Pop quiz, when was the last time you even had sex?

- Ugh, I dont know. - No, wrong answer.

The answer is 367 days ago.

What, are you tracking my sex life on an app?

Um, its not an app. Its a text.

Thats actually a really good idea for an app.

No. Im enjoying my celibacy, all right?

Its me time.

Doesnt me time mean masturbating?

What? No, it definitely does not.

Really? Well, Ive been using it wrong.

Sara, listen,

you owe Axi a book in three months.

Three months. Okay?

So just get those unmanicured fingers

tap, tap, tapping before you lose this contract

and your career is over.

Huh? You are almost 30.

This is my last chance to sell you as a prodigy.

- I am 31. - Dont say that out loud!

This is a kids world. My biggest deal last year

was for a seven-year-old YouTube stars memoir.

You could just die. I mean, honestly.

So sorry. Im so sorry.

Oh, my God, I just thought of something funny.

- Heres what I believe. - shutter clicks

The selfie has become this religious fervor

and its just become insatiable.

Its not cool. Its not a selfie.

Hey, its that guy from the other room.

Im going to assume your names Jeff.

What is he doing?

And what about right now?

What about right now? What if we just lived right now?

chuckling

Okay, and if we can take the time and stop,

and be ourselves in the moment, right, in this moment right now...

- Hes so weird. - We are we.

You are you. He is he.

If we could live in this moment in a Buddhist-like bliss...

Come on. Come on, theres someone I want you to meet.

- Okay, just dont be obvious. I just... Who is this guy? - Come on.

How about I before me, except after you?

I think this world would be a much better place.

And, to be honest, thats what this painting is about.

- I painted it. - Mm.

And shit, sure.

I know you dont smoke, but now you do.

I dont know, he looks like Austin Powers fucked a chimney sweep.

- Come on. Come on, lets go. - coughing

Yeah.

♪♪

instrumental music playing over headphones

Vince Hey, G, what up, what up?

- Living. - I hear that.

Hey, G. Feel this.

G Nice.

Karma by J. Rae playing throughout

♪♪

Ugh!

phone ringing

Hi!

Sara, I am expecting

to see some pages by the end of the week.

Where is this? Okay?

-You hear me? - Yeah. I know, I know.

I am just working here.

Are you fake typing?

giggling No.

Really? What did you just type?

Oh, whatd I type?

Lets see here. Stefan puts his hand on Zelnas neck.

Zelna? Im sorry, did you say Zelna?

Yeah, Zelna. Zelna Pinks-tin-ton-ton...

- is the name of my protagonist. -Honestly, Sara,

this self-indulgent, narcissistic phase of yours...

This is disgusting!

Has gone on for too long.

Your Simon breakup is messing with my money.

Simon sold his soul and became obsessed

with his 401K and his stock options.

-So, no. - Ooh! Ooh! What an asshole.

He grew up and did something responsible.

Just like every fucking woman in this world wants!

You need to move on, so you have a date tomorrow. His name is Ben.

He is an artist, a real one, who actually makes money.

Ive made you a reservation at that place you like

where all the food tastes the same.

No, no, Im not going.

Whatd you say?

No, Im not going.

Oh, youre going to do it. And do you know why?

Because if you dont, I will expose you

and everyones going to see how you live. Is that something you want?

People to see the squalor that is your studio apartment?

Sweatpants strewn about? Moldy, discarded,

expensive meal plan containers everywhere?

That pathetic vision board?

I will bring your mother to your apartment,

I swear to God I will.

And do you want her to see that?

Okay, fine, who is this guy anyway?

Mm. Ben. This is disgusting.

This is terrible. Get this out of my face.

He came highly recommended.

Makes musical steampunk instruments.

You know, balalaikas, accordions.

Wheres my coffee?

Some neo-Victorian shit.

What?

And most importantly, hes a potential clients son,

so dont be gross.

Im sorry. Dont be late.

Well, I dont even know what he looks like.

I showed him your book jacket photo,

so try and resemble it.

Thank you so much. I dont know what Id do without him.

And so after working in soul-killing jobs,

I decided to just chuck it all and do something practical.

Hmm. Like designing steampunk instruments?

I love creating something with my own hands, you know?

Like, when you make something,

you put it out there in the world... sighs

Theres this feeling that you actually, I dont know...

Matter?

Yeah.

Yeah.

- So Kelly tells me youre a writer. - Yeah.

Its actually been kind of crazy.

Right after college, I started this blog,Sara Syndrome.

And it was sort of like a satiric look

at feminism and sexuality in the age of social media.

And now I write these softcore romance novels

for dumb millennials. Like, blergh!

- Now Im working on my third. - Oh, wow.

Like a series or something?

Would I know it? Whats it called?

The debut is calledSext.

But it came out when the word was new,

- so it was cool at the time. - Got it.

Actually, the whole thing was written entirely in emojis.

I cant tell if youre kidding.

Guess youll have to read it to find out.

- chuckles - The critics were okay with it,

but almost everyone hated the ending.

Why? What happens?

Well, the protagonist, Sara,

she flies into this passionate fit of jealous rage

and castrates her boyfriend, Ben, with a paring knife.

Yeah! laughs Gotcha!

Oh, Im kidding. laughs

That was a joke.

laughs Whew.

Obviously, theyre not called Ben and Sara, that would be crazy.

But she does castrate him at the end.

I guess Ill just have to read the next one.

What is the next one called?

Chastity.

Times have changed, huh?

No, but seriously, and dont tell Kelly this,

but I havent actually written a single word in like two months.

Am I too young to be washed up?

Well, maybe youre abstaining from writing

to learn about abstinence.

Yeah. Maybe I am doing that.

Thats what Im doing.

♪♪

man Growing up a little dog

Feeling insecure

Why cant we all get along in this doggone world?

Get along, little doggies

Little doggies, get along

Growing up a big dog in this big dog world

Why cant we all get along and stop being so insecure?

guitar playing

Im Cowboy Cody.

You guys might remember me from right now.

Maybe next week too.

You can maybe remember me from next week.

Ill be back.

Take care of yourselves. Drink water.

Excuse me.

Dont I know you from somewhere?

Well, you might, maam. Names Cowboy Cody.

- Play down here all the time. - Tuesday night.

Werent you at the Wenke Gallery in Fremont?

chuckles

Cowboy Cody at an art gallery? Now thats a knee-slapper.

I saw you talking like a stuck-up art critic.

And then later, you were like this stoner professor.

And now, what are you, like, some kind of Southern guy?

Do I look like a college professor to you, maam?

Im just a simple cowboy.

I write songs. Sometimes I sing them.

Have a good day, maam.

- Wait, so youre a cowboy? - Yes, maam.

Is this some kind of reality show or...?

Maam, I truly think you have me mistaken for somebody else.

- Have a nice day now. - No, no, it was you.

Youre hard to miss in a crowd.

Come on, let me buy you a coffee or something.

Bless your heart, but I got to skedaddle out of here

and giddy on up onto my pony.

You need to learn some better cowboy words.

Come on, Im really curious.

All right, well, if youre itching to see me,

Im going to be in Fremont, Wednesday at 8:00.

- Who the hell are you? - Im Cowboy Cody.

phone ringing

- Hello. -Hi, its Ben. How are you?

Uh, good, you know?

Just doing my thing, you know, getting some productive writing done.

How about you? Hows the flugelhorn coming?

Are you blowing it? chuckles

That was an attempt at flugelhorn humor. chuckles

Please say something else.

Oh, I was wondering if you wanted to go out

-Wednesday night with some friends of mine. - Ooh.

What were your friends thinking?

Im not really sure yet.

Just maybe some drinks or maybe a show?

You know what? Maybe we could start off at Venue.

Some performers are doing something there.

I love performers doing something, so sure.

Great. So Ill see you then.

See you then.

woman crying

- wailing - discordant music playing

woman screaming and wailing

What am I watching?

I think its a satirical piece

on the entanglements created by the modern social construct.

I like the body positive aspect to the work.

Its so much a part of whats missing in post-modern art.

wailing continues

Bet by the end they give birth to a sweater.

laughing

Thats impossible. Sweaters arent humans.

Chloe here is a musician.

Yeah? What do you play?

Chloe isnt talking right now.

Oh. Why?

Shes practicing meditative silence for 24 hours.

Cool.

screaming and moaning

Give it up for Yarna Sutra, everybody.

man Whoo!

Excellent! Excellent!

Dont let my cat near those guys.

Up next, lets have a big round of applause

for Allie Cornbush!

scattered cheers

cheering increases

My names Allie Cornbush.

Im from Iowa City, Iowa. Go, Hawkeyes!

- cheering - laughs

I just got in town yesterday and I got off the Greyhound,

and there were two of the nicest fellas waiting for me.

One of them offered to help me with my luggage

and the other one offered to get married.

- Ooh! laughs - Tomorrow.

Im going to put it off until tomorrow.

Were going to do it tomorrow.

laughs Oh, my God.

The reason that I came down here is because of my grandma.

- God bless her soul. - Aw...

So tonight, Id like to perform for you a song that I wrote.

Its called How To Be Alone.

Its for anyone whos ever felt lost.

Wish I knew how to be alone

Wish I knew how to do it

Wish I knew how to be in the room by myself

Without thinking about you and

The times that we had

The people we saw

The places we saw together

Wish I knew how to be alone by myself

I just dont know how to do it

Wish I knew how to build a boat

I wish I knew how to do it

Guess I could grab a book off a shelf

And start rifling through it

But, oh, I forgot, I dont know how to sail

I dont have a sea leg to do it

I guess Im landlocked

With a boat in my driveway

Oops

Because

I blew it.

guitar playing

Thank you guys so much. Im Allie Cornbush.

- whooping Yeah! - Give it up for Allie Cornbush!

Yo, Allie Cornbush!

- Hey, darling. How are you? - That was amazing.

I mean, surprising, but amazing.

Thank you so much. Youre so sweet.

chuckles

Oh, this is Ben and, uh...

Bens friends.

That was an interesting performance.

Thank you so much. You know, sometimes the Lord and the Holy Spirit

just come down into me, and I dont know what Im gonna do.

- Oh! - Ooh, ooh, ooh!

- laughing - Ooh, ooh!

Youve got to join us.

I wish I could, but Ive got to go. Nice meeting yall.

- Toodle-oo! - Wait, where are you going?

What do you mean? I got places to go and people to see.

Well, can I come?

How about a raincheck?

Well, we could, but Im free now.

I mean, I am kind of on a date, but...

Yeah, he seems happy with the farmer and his girlfriend,

so how about it?

Look, truthfully, I dont really find people

that interesting or worth getting to know.

But Im obviously very intrigued by you, so...

All right. Youre persistent.

Ballard Avenue and Montlake Boulevard at midnight.

Midnight?

Names Sara, by the way, in case you wanted to know.

- Toodle-oo! - Okay.

indistinct chatter

distant siren wailing

glass bottle breaks

Oh, hey.

Lets go.

Oh. Okay.

♪♪

Um... um...

What-what is this? No, seriously.

Okay, wait for me. Wait for me, wait for me.

- pipe rattling - glass breaks

- Sara yelps - laughter

Did you hear that?

Is anybody there?

No? Okay.

Wait, what?

Where did you... go?

Hello?!

Hello?!

Hello?!

Oh, my God!

You are in the middle of nowhere

at 1:00 in the morning with some guy whose name you dont even know.

And now youre in the middle of a horror movie.

Not your best idea, Sara. Not your best idea.

- screams - Surprise!

high-pitched voice Its me, DJ Katamine.

Okay. First of all, do not scare me!

And secondly, why are you wearing that?

Put it on. Lets find out.

- Wait, seriously? - Put it on.

Put it on, come on, put it on, put it on.

♪♪

Well, if it aint the OG!

Whats good, man?

Hey, yo, we cant wait to see you spin tonight.

- Wait, youre a DJ? - Something like that.

Doesnt Deadmaus have this whole angle covered?

Yeah, where do you think he got the idea from?

What?

Hey, man, whats with the chick?

- Shes all right. - Im all right.

What are you, a DJ wannabe?

Yeah, thats right. Im a DJ wannabe.

- Man, I aint working with no toy. - Toy?

How long you been in the game for?

Youre still just hitting play on Spotify.

Is she in the decks?

No, I got something else planned for her.

You do?

Just keep the toy away from me.

Youre the boss.

Glow by Liqwyd playing

Whats up, you sexy mofos!

cheering

All right, our headliners coming to the stage.

Give it up for the one,

the only, DJ Katamine!

cheering continues

Yo, yo, yo! Whats up?

Make some noise!

Lets give it up for the hottest feline hype person in town!

Give it up for DJ Meow-na Lisa!

Hell no! Im not going out there. Im not a performer.

Youre wearing a mask.

You can be anybody you want to be, just take it.

You go out there, not me.

Look, I brought you here for a reason.

I got a feeling about you.

Glow by Liqwyd playing

Whos ready to lap up some milk?!

cheering

♪♪

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

That was...

That was so much fun! Oh, my God!

You got me to perform in front of people, and I actually liked it.

Yo, yo, yo. Im out, G.

Meow-na!

- Girl, you killed it tonight. - Thank you.

Hey, you can hype up any of my gigs.

- All right? Deuces! - Oh, thank you! Bye!

Yo.

Im out.

Hey, I havent been up this late since college

and I am still ready to go. So where do you want to go?

What do you want to do? Lets do it.

Oh, dont shake your head no.

Next time.

Admit it.

You like me.

- Give me your number. - Ill see you around.

Oh, let me hit you on your celly-welly, DJ Katamine!

Whats good?

All right, fine. Ill give you my number.

206-855-3152!

All right, text me!

♪♪

Southern manYou sound like a fine young man.

-Whatd you say your name was? - Names George, sir.

Now dont tell me youre from Alabama yourself.

Yep! Born in the great city of Selma, sir.

Well, heck, I knew I liked you.

I love the films of Shammi Kapoor, too.

Indian man Oh, he was wonderful.

If you ever saw me, youd say that I look just like Shammi.

Especially the way he looked inMama Bhanja.

So youre a private investigator?

I was actually looking into hiring a private investigator.

Yeah, I just want to see what Im up to.

I found that when Im in Ardha Chandrasana,

I channel more Shiva energy if I wrap my standing leg around my head.

- Do you hear that? - playing chords

Im just saying that stop, drop, and roll,

you got to add another stop to that.

Theres no such thing as scented Wi-Fi. No, theres not.

Yeah, hi, just one piece of pizza delivered.

You guys just deliver pieces?

Your total is $321.

No. No.

You.

You Namaste.

snoring

snoring continues

phone ringing

What?

Hello?

You left your date in the middle of a club last night.

- You humiliated him. -Yeah, uh...

It wasnt really going well.

Okay, so you say youve got to walk your dog

or you have explosive diarrhea or something.

You dont just leave like an animal.

Plus, his mom? I was on the brink of signing her.

And she has more number one bestsellers

than all of my clients combined. That includes you.

All you had to do was be normal,

but you couldnt, could you? No.

But once again, it was all about you

with no thought of how it was going to affect me.

Im sorry, I was wearing a cat head at a rave.

Be honest with me.

-Are you on drugs? - Please, I wish I was on drugs.

Im too paranoid to be on drugs.

No, look, Im sorry, I just...

I bumped into the most interesting person last night.

scoffs Please dont tell me you found another lost soul to save. Rub them!

I did not find another lost soul to save.

It was that eccentric guy from the gallery.

I think this guy can really inspire a good book.

What? No. No. No book.

Axi wantsChastity. That is what they paid for.

I think I can makeChastity about identity

and how were all trying to be something were not.

-Im already writing it. - Its a book to diddle to!

What are you talking about? What? No, stop.

Chastity is a book about a girl

trying to track down her kidnapped dog

and hopefully banging a bunch of hot dudes along the way.

This isnt Tolstoy.

Whats this guys name anyway?

You know what? I dont know.

Okay, so youre going to write a boring novel

about a nameless guy you just met? Is that the plan?

Hes not one person. Hes, like, many different people.

Hes a mystery, and I need to unravel him.

Oh, honey, no. Sara, the streets of Seattle

are littered with guys like this.

Youre mistaking crazy for interesting.

No, hes not crazy.

Hes a complete original, like...

one day, hes this pretentious, stuck-up art critic

and on the next, hes a female singer.

And then the day after that, hes like a rave DJ.

Okay, so fully schizophrenic,

cause thats exactly what you just described.

- Please tell me youre not sleeping with him. -No!

I do feel happy around him, though, and inspired.

Still, you should get tested anyway.

This is not about dating, and its not about me.

Its about the book, I promise.

And last night, the dam broke,

and I couldnt stop writing.

And its the best stuff Ive ever written.

You know what?

I am going to be late for my guitar lesson.

- I got to go. -Youre taking guitar lessons?

Yeah, I got to fill up my creative gas tank.

No, Sara, guitaring is not writing.

Hello! Hello! Damn it!

sighs Its like youre my only friend.

♪♪

baby crying

Well, its about time you came to visit.

Well?

Thats not enough. Thats not enough!

After all weve done for you and those kids,

this is all we get?

Why dont you go back to your fancy apartment

and get us some more money?

- man Give me my half. - woman No, youre not getting half.

- Give me the money! - You asshole! No!

- Youre just gonna drink it or youre gonna throw it away! - little girl giggling

- The money! - All I know is, all his friends

and everybody coming over here and...

argument becomes muffled

Excuse me.

Oh, hey! Youre from last night.

What do you want with him?

What do you mean, what do I want?

I mean, why are you hanging with him?

What? Who are you? I dont even know you.

How the hell do you know where I live?

- I followed you home last night. - Okay, wow.

If you stalk me, I will call the cops.

Jeez!

- Just leave Godfrey alone. - Oh, thats his name? Godfrey?

Yeah, Godfrey doesnt have no friends.

Oh, yeah? Then who the hell are you?

Im his brother.

Wait, youre his brother?

Yeah, so I know everything that goes on in his life.

Trust me, you aint going to be a part of it.

Oh. Well, are you his brother or his father?

Because whoever he is, hes a grown-ass man.

He doesnt have to answer to you. And neither do I.

Yo, leave him alone!

He doesnt need you screwing up his life!

- bell rings - children screaming

Youre no good. The kids wont like you.

Yes, they will, you stupid.

You stay down, and you just be a stupid puppet.

Okay. Sorry, Boss.

Our favorite volunteer, Mr. G, is back with us today.

- What? - kids cheer

teacher Isnt that great?

- cheering continues - music playing

goofy voice Hello, kids!

I think its time for me to get a haircut.

kids giggle

different voice Oh, did I hear a haircut?

Im a magician. I can do it without scissors.

Okay, now watch carefully.

Abracadabra. Alakazam!

laughing

What do you think of your new look?

growly laugh

Give me my hair back or I will eat you!

growling

Okay, okay, dont eat me, Lion.

Okay, children, do you remember the magic words?

Abracadabra! Alakazam!

Ooh, I cant see my hat. I cannot see the top of my head!

cheers and applause

Thank you. Thank you.

♪♪

Simon Sara?

Oh, my God. Nope, nope, nope, nope.

- No, no, nope. - Sara?

- Simon! - light chuckle

Hi!

Is that your bike?

This bike?

No.

No. No. Uh-uh.

- Come here, bring it in. - Okay!

Hi. Oh, were hugging.

- Oh, okay. - Yep. Good to see you.

- How are you? - Good. Good.

God, its been a minute. What are you doing?

I am taking guitar lessons.

See? I have a guitar.

Hey. Your hair, its longer.

It is! Thank you for noticing. It grew, so...

- Every day, it grows. - Yeah.

And, yeah. How are the suburbs?

Not as bad as you think.

Theres actually some cool people in the boonies.

Oh, great! Im sure.

Thats so wonderful.

- Nice Dockers, by the way. - Oh, how dare you?

These are Banana Republic.

laughing

This is my wife, Allegra.

- gasps Allegra! Hi! - Hi!

- Look at that! Congratulations to you. - Oh, thank you.

Yeah, okay. Im just going to say it.

Simon told me all about you

- and I loved your book. - Oh!

-Sext. - What?

Yeah, I mean, I know Im not exactly the target audience,

but there are some serious feminist undertones in there

and it reminded me of, like, Louisa May Alcott.

Thank you.

Oh, that is so nice. Thank you.

- Well, Allegras a writer too. - What?

Oh, my God, but nowhere near as good as what you do.

I mean, I just write biographies.

- I dont invent things. - Yeah, but you were just nominated for a PEN.

Well, Im not going to win, so we dont have to talk about that.

- PEN?! - Dont say that.

Everyones freaking out for it!

Look, she just wrote Alexandria Ocasio-Cortezs bio.

- What?! - Amazing.

- Guilty! - Simon chuckles

Guilty?

- Hmm. - Are you okay?

Yeah.

So when are you due?

Two weeks to go.

I dont know how I could get any bigger.

- Youre huge, by the way. - I know!

Im like a beluga!

forced laughter

Yeah, but I mean, Simons been so attentive.

Aw, look at that!

Thats so great. Really, thats so amazing.

I didnt know you wanted kids! So, thats news.

Whatever happened to...

I cant in good conscience bring a child into this world?

- coughing - What happened to that guy?

- Water. - Where is he?

Oh, I mean, it just happened so fast.

I mean, we were dating for like, what, four months?

- Five? - Thats fast!

I think it was four months, then we got married.

- Wow! - nervous laughter

And then, I mean, this just happened.

And, I mean, I dont even know this guy. fake yell

Me either! fake yell

- Uh, honey, we dont want to be late. - Oh! No, we dont.

- Were taking maternity photos. - Okay.

Well, it was really great seeing you.

Okay. Yeah, really good to see you.

- Yeah, great meeting you. - To meet you.

See you, and thank you.

- Okay. Yep. Yep, yep. - All right. Okay.

- Okay, bye. I love her. - Okay.

- I do want kids. - Oh. Well talk about it in the car.

- Okay, but I... - phone ringing

- Well talk about it in the car. - Okay.

- Speak. - manHello, is this Sara?

- sighs Who is this? -It is Mateo.

My good friend DJ Katamine suggested I call you.

Oh! DJ Katamine. Right.

Hi, Mateo. Buenas noches.

-¿Cómo está? - No, I dont actually speak Spanish.

So, it was suggested by my friend

that you might want to try some ballroom dancing.

Really? Well, uh, did your friend happen to mention

that I havent ballroom-danced in, I dont know,

- like, never? -Its okay.

He told me you have the body of a dancer

and the finesse of a mongoose.

Oh, well, thats very... flattering?

Then I will pick you up tonight at sbet w thlathwn.

- What? -Thats Arabic for 7:30.

Oh, right. Mateo, I will see you then.

Oh, wait. You dont actually know

- where I... live. - call disconnects

birds chirping

breathes deeply, clears throat

Mi Amor Eterno by Michael Tate playing

song continues playing

Waltz no. 2 from Suite No. 2 by Dmitri Shostakovich playing

Mateo, I dont have any experience with this kind of dancing.

I dont think anyone has in, like, 60 years.

Follow me

and I will lead you to the path of beauty.

Oh, okay. giggles

Howd you learn to dance like this?

- It is in my blood. - Right.

And where exactly are you from?

fake accent The entire planet is my home.

I was a young boy, I was a goat herder in Argentina,

and I dream of dancing the waltz after I sawThe Sound of Music.

- I love that movie. - Me too.

And so I searched the country for Maria, and I cant find her.

And so I ended up dancing with my goat, Sofia.

- Okay. - Yeah.

So you learned to dance with your goat.

That sounds normal, right?

Very popular.

-Wunderbar! - What is that, German?

Sí. Oui, oui.

- Follow me. - Okay.

♪♪

Ooh! Okay...

♪♪

-Magnifique. - Thanks.

Sara Hey.

So last night wasnt a dream.

You are welcome.

I just realized I havent had a guy in my apartment

in, like, a year.

So thank you for being such a gentleman.

It is who I am.

You know, yesterday I ran into my ex,

and he was with his wife. And she was pregnant.

Im sorry, I dont know why Im telling you this.

Oh, no! Uh, well...

I guess it just kind of upset me,

because it made me sad that hes not living his truth.

- But theres nothing I can do about that. - stammersSí.

Im so glad you called,

because I feel like our night together

reminded me of who I really am.

sniffs, laughs

Im sorry. Blah, blah, blah.

Why dont you tell me something about you?

Well...

I am but a poor, young goat herder...

- From Argentina. Yeah, I know. - Argentina.

But see, I just spilled my guts,

so maybe you can tell me something honest, something true.

Okay. Well...

I come to the US... Im a stowaway.

Wait, is this a real story?

Cause I know youre not really from Argentina.

stammers I am!

Cause I just assumed last night we were messing around,

so whats... Whats your deal?

I first move here to Miami, I have no job.

And so I start as a dishwasher,

and I do some things I am not proud of.

- Im not judging, so... - Okay, so my friend, Manny,

he tells me about a job we can do for money, you know?

We sellze yayo. Ze cocaine.

And we get a job.

We go down to South Beach, we have a kilo,

and this man and wife, they take the kilo,

they dont give us money, and they take Manny.

And they beat him. And they put him in the shower,

and they chain him up and they get a chainsaw.

imitates chainsaw revving

And theyre going to kill him. And I say, No!

Wait. Are you fucking with me? What is this?

No, Im not fucking.

Thats the plot ofScarface, dude.

I have... never seen such movies.

No. No. Seriously?

What is this? Whats happening right now?

- Are you pranking me? - No! I am telling you a story.

No, youre not. Youre not telling a story.

Youre making a joke about everything, and Im believing you.

God, I dont know what this is.

I dont know what happened last night.

Maybe its because I actually like you.

Maybe its because I saw my ex, but either way,

I spent the night with you, okay?

And Im-Im dressed, but I feel completely naked right now.

I need to know who Im with.

♪♪

Nothing?

Okay, so now I have to ask you to leave.

I want you to leave.

You have to go! Now!

♪♪

Who are you?

Nobody.

♪♪

KellySo Im downstairs, and I hear this noise.

I push open the bathroom door, and theres Dan,

- and he is standing there wiping off makeup. - Right.

Makeup! It was my makeup!

And I get it, its modern times right now,

and were all supposed to be, like, gender fluid or whatever.

But you would think, after eight years of marriage,

my husband would tell me if he was thinking

- about crossdressing or whatever. - Maybe.

Yeah. I guess it doesnt matter.

It would have been nice if you listened to my story

about my husband using all of my foundation.

- I slept with him. - Who, Dan?

- No, with the guy. - Nutty? You slept with Nutty?

- I sleptwith him. - Oh, God!

I didntsleep with him. We just cuddled all night, but...

And dont call him Nutty. His names Godfrey,

or Mateo, or, like, whatever.

- His name is Godfrey? - Yeah.

Some parent named their kid Godfrey,

and then you slept with that guy.

- You slept with a Godfrey. - I was feeling vulnerable.

And he was charming. He was very charming.

He took us out dancing! We danced!

Like, we really danced. And then next thing you know,

- were just, like, spooning in my bed. - Is that fun?

It might have something to do with the fact that I bumped into Simon earlier.

What? Oh, dear!

Hes married.

And his PEN Award-nominated wife is pregnant.

Ugh, shit! I hate it when men upgrade. No offense.

Do you think she needs an agent?

Im kidding! Im kidding.

Come here. Look, its okay. Im here.

Did you get any good material from this?

- Are you serious? - Im just...

Hey! Hey, you! Yeah, you!

- Youre the crazy lady. - Yeah, you know what?

I am crazed. Fucking crazed for someFromage Madeleine,

which you dont have for the third week in a row, by the way.

Who do I have to blow

to get some decent cheese around here? Is it you?

Is that what you want? You want me to embarrass you

in front of all your clerk friends?

No. I will go check with my manager.

Yeah. Do that, because this threat extends to him, too!

- Its fine. - Im just...

Im so confused. Like,

who have I been hanging out with this whole time?

- Why is he doing this? - Um, hes crazy, so just stay away.

Hes not crazy. Hes choosing his personalities.

Trust me. I did some Googling.

Oh, boy. Um... Ahem, Sara?

- What? - Ahem.

- I was wrong. Okay? - Whoa.

I was wrong, I said it, to ask you to come out of your shell.

All right? So just stuff yourself back in there and finish your book,

because so far, the material is pretty good

and all you need is some distance and objectivity, right?

- Do not shit where you eat. - Okay.

You dont think I have plenty of clients that I would love to bang,

but I dont, and you know why?

- Uh-uh. - Commission.

- You thought I was going to say morals. - I did.

Its commission.

teacherClass, guess whos back?

Its our volunteer, Mr. G!

Yay!

Whoa!

You guys look so much older.

- How are you? - kids Good.

Are you good? Good.

- You guys want to read a book? - Yeah!

- Yeah? - You will read the book.

You know what? Ill read a book for you.

How to Be a Friend. That sounds like a good book, doesnt it?

- Yeah! - Yeah.

There are times when it feels good to be by yourself

and enjoying your own company.

But there are also times when you may feel lonely or bored,

when you want to have someone to play with...

Anyone who is nice to you

and who likes to play with you

can become your friend.

♪♪

The best thing about having a friend

is... sharing.

Do you need to go to the potty, Mr. G?

kids laughing

Im fine. Im fine. Thank you. Um...

We want somebody to share with.

Mr. Frog wants to share.

Who wants to share with Mr. Frog?

Broke my heart, woe my soul

You got a lovers rock and roll

The next day, a man, he lived next door

He kept me up all night, made trouble, boy...

- Hey, what up? - yelps

What, are you stalking me again?

Hell, no. This is my office.

- Your office? - Yeah.

What is that, weed? I thought weed was legal.

People still like the drama of buying it on the street.

Okay, what do you want?

- Hes sorry. - Oh, you talked to him.

Look, I dont know what he did, but he feels bad about it.

All right, sit down. Lets talk.

Here. Take that. You can have it.

- What the hell is this? - Its tofu.

- Tofu? I thought it was turkey. - Yeah.

You dont just hand someone a tofu sandwich

and not say anything. Whats wrong with you?

Im sorry, man. Jeez.

Dash groans

So whats up with your brother?

- Its complicated. - Yeah, no shit.

I mean, is he ever himself?

Have I actually even met the guy?

Yeah, but...

its all versions of him. You know what I mean?

No, I dont.

Well, all the hims, theyre still him,

but he doesnt want to be completely himself.

You dont want to know.

I do want to know.

I care about your brother.

I know I dont know him, clearly,

but... I feel like...

inside, theres a special, sweet person.

Man, the only reason Im telling you this

is because Godfrey likes you, okay?

Because you need to understand where hes coming from.

Godfreys parents were worthless.

Okay? They took in foster kids to make money.

When we were growing up, Godfrey was more than a brother

to me and my sister, Didi.

He was like our dad.

He took care of us.

Cooked, cleaned, made us go to school.

My sister...

she wasnt but five years old at the time,

and one day while Godfrey was getting me ready for school,

Di was playing by the window in the living room.

And my fosters was in there, but they was drunk,

passed out or some shit.

Next thing you know...

she fell out.

And we ran downstairs, and, um...

Godfrey took her in his arms, but...

she was gone.

Oh, my God.

My fosters blamed it all on Godfrey.

- Oh, come on! Thats not fair. - It doesnt matter.

Since then, hes just been blocking out the world.

Thats why he does them characters.

He dont like being himself cause of the guilt.

I havent really seen the real Godfrey since she died.

Im so sorry.

Is he getting any help?

Hes working and making a living

and functioning, so thats all I care about.

What can I do?

Well, best thing you couldve done was leave him be,

but now that you messed that up, just...

I dont know, be a good friend to him.

I mean, I would like to,

but I cant even get ahold of him.

Hes going to be at this tonight.

What is this? Like stand-up comedy?

No clue. Hes always doing something

to keep his mind focused on anything but himself.

Does he even enjoy it?

He kind of relaxes around kids.

Thats the only time he feels really calm.

- Where are you going? - Ive got to pick up a new mixer.

Im just short on a little paper right now.

Oh. Well, do you want some money?

- I have some. - Hey, dont try buying me off.

You just be you.

♪♪

Just be me. Okay.

female poet I am ready on my own.

As the Earth readies my surroundings,

I sit deep in silence as I meditate on my opulence.

- Thank you. - cheering and whooping

MC Give it up once again there for Lesa Koitsioe.

Coming up next, we have a guy

that says hes going to do something.

Please welcome to the stage, for the very first time,

- Tim Dimmitt. - applause

Thanks.

I wrote... um...

I wrote something.

She.

soft piano playing throughout

She... she flutters through the house,

a splash of sunshine,

sprinkling her magic in the air with laughter.

Each syllable of sound echoes in my soul.

But as I walk in a space of a world left behind,

I see the ghost of her

and I search and search, but all in vain.

And I hear...

an echo of nothing.

exhales sharply

So upon these streets, I wa...

Im sorry.

So upon these streets, I walk alone.

But now a new sound fills the air...

The laughter of a woman who has walked beside me.

Shes helped fill the void through music,

through words, art and rhyme...

and eases the pain of the simple sound

of a child whos long gone.

♪♪

audience whispering

So, Tim Dimmitt.

You always wear your sunglasses at night?

- My eyes are sensitive to light. - Oh.

So I use my other senses, like my hands,

nose, and ears in low-light situations.

And I can tell that youre wearing a moisturizer

that has a strong scent of gardenia,

a hint of jasmine...

and a refined honeysuckle finish.

- Thats amazing. - Heard that.

Sara chuckles

I can tell youre a very sensitive man.

The poem you recited was very moving.

It must have taken a lot of courage

to say it out loud like that.

Oh, Im just trying to sort things out.

The world is a messy place.

Hey, how are you doing?

Im all right, you know?

Just killing time.

Before we met,

I was kind of in a funk.

I was depressed, to be honest.

I couldnt access my creativity,

and then... I met you,

and that all went away. So...

I guess thats the opposite of killing time.

Hey, why dont you tell me something

about the girl in the poem?

I dont like talking about it, its...

Its too hard.

I understand. It is hard.

Its hard to talk about the most painful things in our lives,

but sometimes...

when we look inside and deal with those most painful things,

it can turn into something really beautiful.

So... if you want to talk about her...

Im here.

sighs Its been a long time since I let someone in.

♪♪

Her name was Didi.

She had a beautiful soul.

She loved country music,

so Id sing Achy-Breaky Heart to her every morning.

- Her laugh was magic. - little girl giggles

- Oh, my God! Oh! - I am so sorry!

- Ew. Oh, its soaked. Oh, my God. - Oh...

- Yeah, can I get a napkin, please? - Yeah.

groans Oh, my dress.

You know what? Im going to go to the bathroom.

Im sorry. Excuse me.

muttering God!

♪♪

phone chimes

toilet flushes

phone chimes

phone chimes

music playing throughout

♪♪

Shit.

♪♪

pages thudding together

distant honking

elevator dings

sighs Okay, weve got to stop meeting like this.

So, this was all about a book?

Yeah, I was right about you.

Thats not fair. I care about your brother.

No, you dont care about shit.

Youre just one more person with their hand out,

taking what you want from him.

Youre just like our fosters.

I have been looking for him. Where is he?

No, I told you not to get involved with him, okay?

Now hes got to put his pieces back together cause of you.

What do you expect me to do? I cant help someone

who wont even admit that they have a problem.

A problem? No, youre the one with a problem.

Now stay the fuck away from us.

- I wont ask again. - Where is he?

Well, whats his address? Ill find him myself.

A last name, maybe?

Gee, thanks, Shad. Very helpful.

♪♪

- Its finished? - Yeah.

Oh, that was fast.

Im actually excited to see how this thing ends.

So whats up with you and Godfrey?

I still havent seen him.

Sara, you need to find him and make things right.

If he was pissed about your personal diary,

hes going to be even more upset

when your book is a huge best-seller,

knock on wood.

Well, his brother told me to stay away.

- So what? Who cares? - So, Im staying away.

I love you, but this, like, manic pixie dream girl,

I dont know whats going on thing

is really starting to piss me off.

You forced your way into that mans life,

and you made a mess of it, and now that it doesnt suit your needs anymore,

youre just going to walk away.

You were the one who told me to keep hanging out with him.

Yeah, for inspiration, not to ruin his life.

And honestly, the truth is, like,

this is your M.O. This is what you do.

You bail when things get hard.

That... that is not true.

No? You didnt bail on Simon?

He broke up with me!

You pushed him away because he didnt fit

your version of what an artist should be,

whatever that means, after you made him become an artist.

That is such bullshit, Kelly.

Yeah, and theres more, Sara, okay?

You think everyone is a phony.

Simons a phony, Ben and his friends are phony.

Somehow no one but you is living their authentic life,

yet you are writing a book that you think is beneath you.

- Because you wanted me to! - scoffs

I was perfectly happy representing you

when you were writing feminist allegories

about the mermaid myth that sold five copies,

but when I told you that you could make money writing garbage,

you jumped at the chance.

I am telling you this because Im your friend.

Well, it doesnt feel like youre my friend.

Well, friendship doesnt always feel good

and I know you think Im an asshole,

but you know I am a good friend, and I am a loyal friend,

and friends tell each other the truth, even when it sucks.

Yeah, well, this lunch sucks!

- The food is very good... - The food is very good.

This sucks.

Sara, do you see the guy over my shoulder?

- Who, the bartender? - No. The Buddha.

Yeah. What about him?

Do you know what he would say

if he were to join this conversation?

No, I do not.

He would say, You need to follow the Eightfold Path.

It is the path that teaches us

the importance of actively helping others

to free them from their suffering.

Okay. What do you know about Buddhism?

A lot, because I am a Buddhist, so...

Youre a Buddhist?

Youre a Buddhist? This whole time?

You... laughing

Youre a Buddhist!

Youre a Buddhist? laughing

Shes a Buddhist!

laughing continues

Youve got to be the worst Buddhist Ive ever seen!

If you reduce the world down to atoms and molecules,

you see that were all just one big organism,

and that what we do as individuals has an effect on others.

You have an obligation to help that man

because in a way, you are that man.

Okay, I... laughs

I didnt come here to get confused and lectured at.

Who would go anywhere to be confused?

Like, why would you pay for that?

You know what? You have my book,

so just leave me alone.

- banging table - silverware rattles

Ow.

You should make sure theres more space between the tables.

Two of Us on the Run by Cleopatra Coleman begins

There are two of us on the run

Going so fast, every doubt we had

Is coming undone and

Falling behind with everything we left there

We held on

For far too long

And now we

Pass so many people on the road

They could come along

I wish theyd been told

They may call it a shot in the dark

From what we know

Its not unheard of

And well one day

Tell our

Story

Of how

We made

Something

Of ourselves now

Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Oh, my God. Hey! Hey! I know you!

Hey! Hi! I know you!

Can I... No, please. Can I just ask you a question?

Please? Please? Please? Please?

Well, if it isnt the DJ wannabe.

DJ Meow-na Lisa, right?

Uh, no, Sara. But, yeah. Hi.

Im not really a DJ hype cat.

gasps No shit?

What do you want?

I havent been able to find Godfrey. DJ Katamine.

- Have you guys seen him? - Not for a few weeks.

Its like he dropped off the face of the planet or something.

- What about Shad? - Shads in jail.

- Got caught boosting mixers. - Shit! Seriously?

Hes going to be in there for a minute.

Theres got to be something I can do to help.

buzzer rings

- gate opening - indistinct chatter

You shouldve taken the money.

What are you doing down here?

Bailing your ass out of jail.

Oh, yeah, right.

If you take me to him.

Ill take you up on that.

Just to get away from that crazy mofo.

Hes a baby-faced serial killer.

But he looks so normal.

♪♪

phone ringing

Maintain the integrity of the pitch.

- But put it in your own words. What? - Mr. Glasser?

I think theres something wrong with G-Money.

snoring

He looks fine to me.

Hes in his bathrobe, sir.

- Does it turn you on? - Sir?

Chicken Little? The sky is falling.

- gobbling sounds - Okay, then. Yup.

What a dick!

To begin again, press eight after you hear the beep.

- Beep! - manId like to change my order, please.

Is this a real person Im talking to?

I am a new beta version

of an automated voice system called Cray-bot.

My name is John.

Yes, Id like to cancel my web-builder package, please.

Your credit card has been charged

- $125.60. -No!

As I just said, Id like to cancel that order.

Your credit card has been charged $125.60.

chuckles

That man is a goddamn genius.

teacherHey, everyone, guess whos here?

Mr. Gs back, and hes going to play

some really fun music for you all.

kids laughing

Two volunteers, I guess.

- Okay, you heard Mr. G. Two volunteers. - sighs

Great. You guys are doing great.

All right. Great job. Here you go.

little girl giggling

giggling

♪♪

Hey, Mr. G, you all right?

♪♪

cooing

Its weird.

Hes here every day, but he aint no character.

Just like some sort of robot, talking all monotone and shit.

- Its bad. - Sara sighs

I really messed up, Im going to go talk to him.

Hey, Godfrey.

I know youre mad at me, and I dont blame you,

but Im really worried about you.

sighs

Do you need anything?

robotic I have to go.

Well, do you want to, like, DJ tonight or...

I mean, Shads back.

Me and him are going to break out his new mixer.

DJ Meow-na Lisa in the house. You know?

Look, I know what happened to your sister,

and Im so sorry.

Those fosters, they were supposed to protect all of you.

You have to forgive yourself.

violin playing

phone ringing

- KellyAre you sitting down? -No.

Doesnt matter, because I am.

Guess what? Axi loves the book. Yeah.

They want to get together right away.

They want to talk film rights.

I cant right now, Kelly.

What do you mean, not now?

You are such a bummer sometimes.

Meet me at Axi tomorrow at 11:00.

You sell this movie, the rest of them will follow,

I promise you.

- I got to go. -What the hell, Sara?

♪♪

Fantastic stuff, Sara, really.

So original, and-and oof! Compelling.

So you guys might want to buckle up here

because were so excited.

We want to do an initial run of...

imitates drumroll

One hundred thousand copies.

Kelly screeches

And were going to up your advance to $350,000.

quiet screaming

Dollars.

Thats dollars. Fuck, yeah!

laughing Also,

multiple studios are already calling on the film rights.

Youre going to make some serious cash money on this.

Fuck, yeah!

That is what gets me hard in the fucking morning!

Whoo! Boners! Everyone has boners.

Oh, my God! I represent so many shitty writers.

- Yeah! Whoo! - I needed this win!

Oh, Im so unhappy in my marriage.

This is the only thing I am living for.

Arent you fucking pumped?! Arent you excited?!

- Shes excited. - I, uh...

- She is, we are... - Its truly...

- truly needing more money. - ...unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

You guys, if that got your cocks racing,

get your seatbelts, clickity-clack them back in,

because guess what?

Weve mocked up some covers to show you.

If you look on the... Where are they?

Youve got one job. forced laugh

One thing that you do. There it is. Wow.

Slowly but surely.

Weve even come up with some alternative titles.

Check it out. Okay, were going real retro kitschy.

- phone ringing - Im sorry. Thats...

- Oh, she took it. She took the phone call. - Hello?

- Regarding other... - Shad? Im sorry. I cant right now.

Lets stay focused here, and blonde to blonde.

- Whats going on? - What type of contingencies

- are we looking at? - Okay.

I have to go. I have to go. I have to go.

Where did she go? Is she still behind me?

My friends in trouble. Im sorry.

Excuse me?

- Do you think shes coming back? - I-I dont know.

- Okay. I dont... - Okay. Oh.

bell ringing

Kelly Because we are not negotiating right now.

I will call you when she is ready.

Okay.

- Thank you for being here. - Of course.

Why is everyone so tiny in this office building?

There he is.

- Hey, Shad. - Thanks for coming.

You know, shits just getting way over my head.

- Whos she? - Oh, thats my friend, Kelly.

All right.

So Im afraid were in kind of a bind here.

So whats the issue?

sighs Some parents noticed

some odd things about Mr. G.

Many of them are wondering if he might be schizophrenic.

Hes not schizophrenic, and I will tell you why.

One, he does not suffer from visual hallucinations.

Two, he does not suffer from auditory hallucinations

and three, he does not exhibit signs of delusional behavior,

so theres that.

- Is she a doctor? - She repped Dr. Phil.

Look, what do I tell a concerned parent

who said that she saw him performing as a cowboy on the street

and then, less than an hour later, dressed as a matador?

What, he cant perform now?

If a person is found mentally unstable,

obviously theyre not going to be allowed to work

with any children in Washington State.

No, no. Godfrey is not mentally unstable.

He is a man dealing with grief in a profound way.

He doesnt need a psych evaluation.

He needs support,

and time to process what hes going through.

Look...

I appreciate everything that has been said here today.

But if Mr. G doesnt grade out with his evaluations next week,

hes done here.

♪♪

sighs

Sara Hey, yall! My name is Cowgirl Cassie.

Now Im not really a performer,

but today I decided to sing some songs for yall

and for a friend Im hoping to see.

singing Achy-Breaky Heart

Achy-Breaky Heart continues

Hey there, young man.

Why dont you come on up here and join me on the stage?

Help me sing this song. Come on now. Dont be shy!

Come on up here. I see you. Come on.

Get on up here!

Where you belong. Thats right.

Oop, whats that? Thats for you.

Sara singing Achy Breaky Heart

joins in singing

both continue singing

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

Cowboy Cody, everybody! Give him a round of applause.

cheering and whooping

Thank you.

Well, you got a smile on your face.

- Thats a good thing. - You think so?

Hell, I know so.

So, we friends again?

You got retty good for someone who doesnt perform there, young lady.

- Maybe we should make a duo. - Sara giggles

Yeah, like Faith Hill and Tim McGraw.

You could be Faith.

So if were going to be a duo,

then were friends now, right?

Cause friends are there for each other.

And... I want to help you.

Like you helped me.

And I know I havent met the real you yet...

but the truth is, Im the one thats the phony.

I wrote books I dont care about.

I was in a five-year relationship

that I only pretended was great.

I... stammers

Ive been a phony... to friends,

to everyone in my life.

Im sorry I wasnt honest with you about the book,

but I learned so much about you and myself writing it.

It changed me.

Look... youre going to lose your gig at the school.

If you dont show them the real you...

theyre going to cut you from the program.

But the school is willing to work with you

if you can pull it together.

They have counselors there to help you through this,

and I could help you.

You just have to be yourself.

So what do you say?

Lets start over.

For real this time.

music playing throughout

Hi. Im Sara.

Okay.

Well, then I guess thats goodbye.

breathing hard

Wait, Sara?

Dont leave.

Its me.

Godfrey.

I know who I am when Im with you.

♪♪

sighs

exhales sharply

♪♪

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull