Original subtitles

- I am not going to say,

- I am not going to say, "Yes, I did something,"

if I didn't do it. I am a woman with integrity

that stands up for what's right.

- Yeah, I am too, just like I'm not gonna say--

- I could have thrown her under the bus!

- I'm also not gonna say, "Lisa would never do this."

- No, I'm done.

I'm done with you too. Kyle, I'm done.

- And it feels like that you're talking to Radar.

You guys are not going to believe

what happened to me yesterday.

- What? - What happened?

- What happened? - I went to Lisa's house.

- And how'd that go?

- I felt bad that as her friend--that

I couldn't sit there and say, "No, I'm sorry.

She would never do this." I couldn't say that.

She always wants me to swoop in and defend her, and I often do.

- But you've always been in that position. For years.

- But when it comes to not being honest

and not telling the truth, I'm not willing to do that.

After Denise's wedding we all thought

that Lisa Vanderpump's issues with everyone were over,

until Dorit found an article online.

- "Lisa Vanderpump feels betrayed

"by her longtime pal Dorit Kemsley,

"who adopted a dog from Vanderpump

"only to drop the animal off

at a local animal shelter shortly thereafter."

- Immediately, all of the women

assumed Lisa was behind the story.

- I'm not gonna let her bully me

into being ashamed for anything.

- I feel sorry for this woman. - And then I think to myself,

"Maybe she's going through a hard time right now."

- Well, of course she is.

- When you go through hard times,

do you try to hurt every other person in your life?

- As Lisa's friend,

I felt awful about this conversation

happening behind her back. She's not here,

and we all have very strong opinions about this, so it's...

- I understand, but she chose not to be here.

- But--I know.

- Maybe you're the only person that can say to her,

"You know what? Like, what the (BLEEP) are you doing?"

- I want to tell her the truth

and lay everything out on the table.

- She should have walked away. When TMZ walked up to her,

she said, "Excuse me, I can't talk."

- Well, that wasn't part of the plan.

- No.

- You think I'm gonna give a story to Radar Online

and then I'm gonna go to TMZ

and refute a story I've given to Radar Online?

- That's what everybody thinks, yes.

They were both so angry and hostile,

and Ken said, "Well, I hope you told her that's not true

and Lisa would never do that," and I said, "No, I didn't."

- He was yelling at you?

- He said to me...

"You're a ----ing liar,"

and Ken said, "You're not my ----ing friend!

You're not Lisa's ----ing friend! Get out of our house!"

- Wow. - I also have to be honest.

- You're not her friend!

You cannot be her friend when you say something like that.

She would never say that about you.

- I have to be honest about how I feel.

- You're a ----ing liar. You're a ----ing liar,

and you're not my friend or her friend, so you get out.

- Then she said, "You think that I did this on purpose?!

Then there's nothing left to say."

- I'm done with you too.

- Maybe you care more about your image

than your friendships at times. At times.

- Okay, good. Bye. Bye. Bye, Kyle.

Show yourself out, darling.

- She could have just said,

"I'm sorry that you feel like that."

Anything but this.

- That's not friendship. That's bullsh--.

[upbeat music]

- In the game of life, it's Rinna take all.

♪ ♪

- Most people talk about their fantasies.

I'm living mine.

- In business and in life,

I wear many hats and hairstyles.

- You can stab me in the back,

but whilst you're there, kiss my ass.

- I'm not afraid of hard work,

but I'll never do your dirty work.

- My problem with the tabloids?

My real life is so much juicier.

- In Beverly Hills, the truth always

has a way of rising to the top.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Puppy! Puppy, come on.

- Want a drinky?

- Hi.

- What happened with Kyle the other day?

I don't think I've ever lost it like that in my life before.

- She absolutely knows it doesn't make sense.

She was after you. - Okay, you know what?

Steven's coming now.

- Right. - Why do you look so worried?

- I'm not worried. - Is it the thought of having

this all smashed to smithereens

and living without any cooking facilities?

- It doesn't help, does it? It's a lot of money.

- It's a little bit more expensive.

It's just, like, 30% more than what I told you.

Okay, forget it.

- Don't worry, I knew it would be.

- Oh, Steven. Come on, puppy.

Hello.

- Hi, Lisa. - Are you on your own?

- So nice to see you. - Are you on your own?

Or is Giselle coming?

- I am today. - So what's all this?

- I've got some good stuff to show you.

- Oh, you have?

- I'm excited. - You remember Ken.

- Hi, Ken. - Hey, buddy. How's it going?

- Good, how are you doing? - Would you like a cup of tea?

- Certainly. - Do you want any tea, darling?

- No, I just had a cup. Thanks.

- You know what my children gave me for my birthday?

It was my birthday.

Well, we were having a little bit of a celebration.

- Happy birthday. - Yeah.

I didn't feel that it felt right for us to have

a big celebration of my birthday this year

since losing my brother,

but Pandora and Ken have taken it upon themselves

to surprise me and hold some kind of fabulous party,

and I'm just gonna go along with it.

My children gave me this beautiful little locket.

It's got you, Pandy, and Max, and it's got Nanny K.

- That's beautiful, yeah.

- I think I've taken quite

a lot of crap from Kyle Richards.

Even last year with Nanny K.

And, you know, Nanny K was staying with me then,

and that's all.

- Who is Nanny K?

- Nanny K, my grandmother.

- No, I know, but for a second I was thinking

it was a character from a movie.

- Even saying little things like that,

you know, that hurts.

When are we supposed to be starting, Steven?

- This will be a transformed space.

The majority of the kitchen-- - Is going to be white.

That's exactly what I want.

I want it fresh and bright and positive in here.

Binks, you like it? You like it? He likes it.

- We still need to hit the stone yards.

We need to look at some options, but I brought a few.

- And this is the quartz that won't stain,

won't mark, nothing? - Yeah.

- I quite like the grays in there.

And it's gonna be a lot of white.

I quite like that.

- What do you think of this?

- Yeah.

- This will definitely feel

a little bit lighter, happier kitchen here.

- I haven't had a good time in this kitchen as of late,

and to have Kyle just be so aggressive towards me,

I want a new beginning,

and I want to create something absolutely gorgeous.

- I'll see you soon. Bye. - Thank you.

You know what, Ken?

This kitchen has this kind of negative vibe to me,

and also with Kyle standing there,

I feel like taking a sledgehammer

not to her head-- well, to her--no,

but to this kitchen and just the whole thing.

I want it gone.

[relaxed techno music]

♪ ♪

- Thank you, Francisco. - Hi, honey.

- Hi, honey. - How are you? What's up?

[inaudible]. How are you?

- I'm good. How are you? - I'm good.

- So you had one of those happy, good days, honey?

- Yeah.

- Good. Our date nights over, you know,

25 years of being together have changed a lot.

God only knows what it was like when we were dating.

- Gil the maestro. What's up, man?

- Hello.

And then it was about the kids, and then it was like,

"We shouldn't talk about the kids,"

and then it was business.

Now it's like, "Where do you see ourselves in 10 years?"

"Where do we want to live?" "What do we want to be doing?"

- Let's do Italian. A little pinot grigio.

- Pinot grigio.

- Two pinot grigios. - Perfecto.

- Sweet. - Okay, thank you.

- How was your day today? - You know me.

I like to have a lot of balls in the air.

- Yes.

Grazie mille.

- I'm going to have halibut.

- Sure. Fresh halibut.

- Yeah, just the halibut.

- And [inaudible] with truffle and the wheel.

- Si. Perfecto. Grazie mille. - How was your day?

- My day was great. I had a great day today.

I had an amazing meeting in downtown LA

with some really amazing developer guys I really like.

All right.

- You got the fish. - Wait, what?

- Nino had to make it all the way.

- Italian way.

- Holy guacamole. Is this cheese?

- Yes. That's a big wheel.

- Okay, now I do need some of that. Forget my diet.

- Wow.

- Oh, wow. How much are these truffles again?

- $3,000 a pound. - $3,000 a pound?

- Enjoy, huh?

- Grazie mille. - Grazie mille.

- Wow. - Oh, God.

This looks really good, doesn't it?

- Wow. - Anyway, I woke up today

thinking about,

like, a few weeks ago, everything felt so different.

It's weird. It's like there was, like, a shift in energy.

- You cannot just have everything perfect

all of the time. It doesn't work that way.

- Listen. I mean, Lisa used to say to me,

"You're bound to have some problems here and there.

You have to accept that."

She's right. I still haven't spoken to her, by the way.

- Nothing? - It really makes me feel sad.

- We've had so many experiences with her.

You're such good friends. It's horrible.

- I mean, I have had issues in the past,

and there have been things that happened.

If we're gonna be honest, we've already had this issue,

but I still love her.

- I don't want love like that. - That's not love.

- And I wouldn't love somebody that I would say preys

on the weak, is manipulative, is a liar.

Why would you love somebody like that?

I would detest them actually, frankly.

The only ways that I'm even in an issue with her

is because I didn't stand up and say,

"Lisa would never do this."

- I'm shocked at the way that Ken spoke to you.

That's totally unacceptable.

- I think you were a bit strong with Kyle the other day.

- I must admit I was a bit strong,

but when she started speaking on you

like that I just saw red.

- I'm here as your friend, okay?

I'm the only one who has a legitimate--

- You're not her friend.

You're not her friend. You're not her friend.

- Yeah, I am, Ken. - You're not her friend.

- Yes, I am. - You are not her friend.

- Ken, stop it. - Yes, I ----ing am.

- You need to stand up for your friends,

but at the end of the day,

you need to be true to yourself.

- I honestly thought that we had come

to a place in our relationship

where we were never gonna fight again, and then this happened.

Even if they did me wrong, I just hate having bad feelings

between someone that I care about.

She just makes it so hard to ever repair things,

because she shuts down.

She holds her friendship as ransom.

- She's always been like that though.

- I'm sad. I feel sad.

- I can say I'm hurt, I can say I don't like anything

that she did,

but I'm not going to stand here and say,

"What a ----ing bitch she was." Ah, just said it.

- Coming up...

- Does this hurt our Botox in any way?

- Well, it depends on when you got it done.

- Like, what about yesterday? - Yeah.

- Yeah.

- We might want to rethink the inversion.

[dynamic techno music]

♪ ♪

- Tell me what you want to put in the smoothie.

- Banana, almond milk,

maybe some chia seeds and strawberries.

- Sadie, I love it. I love it, I love it.

- And I think we implement it really subtly with PK.

We can just start putting it into his diet

so maybe he doesn't notice it in the beginning.

- PK was diagnosed with diabetes before I met him,

and I remember the first breakfast I ever had with him.

He ordered white toast with butter,

two fried eggs, potatoes, French fries, bacon, sausage,

and probably a side of Coca-Cola.

From that moment on, it has been a daily struggle.

Diabetes is something that if you don't treat it,

if you don't attend to it,

if you don't change your lifestyle,

he'll never be able to reverse it.

This poor man cannot wrap his head around the fact

that it's a very serious illness.

- Vodka Red Bull? - Yeah, that's fine.

♪ ♪

- And I've said to him time and time again,

"I want you to be able to enjoy the things that you enjoy,

and you can at this point, as long as there's a balance."

- I've never used one of these before.

- Okay, can I just tell you something?

- This is scary. - No word of a lie.

I'm surprised we even have that.

Which one do you think goes where?

- Oh, my God.

This is gonna be like the blind leading the blind.

- Let's go. Click on there, and then I think this goes--

- Well done. Let me get some ice.

[blender whirring]

- [screams]

- What is it doing?!

Ahhhh!

[blender stops]

Oh, my God. Wait, let's just rest it.

Be careful. Okay, just leave it--

- I've unplugged it now. - I think we need some greens.

It should be healthy.

- Yeah.

- Like, definitely get some greens.

I think you need a little bit more spinach.

- Now, that's on, right?

Sadie, be careful.

And then this comes off like that.

- We just threw everything in there,

so we have no idea whether or not it's gonna be

even--I think I'll just take a little bit to start.

- You be--you be the guinea pig.

- Oh. Thanks, Sadie.

I would do anything to trick PK into eating healthier.

- Mmm. [laughing]

- But this is the most disgusting smoothie

I've ever tasted.

I mean, there's no way I'm getting PK to drink it.

If I can't swallow it,

there's no way this man is gonna drink it.

I feel like I'm just drinking, like--

- Compost?

♪ ♪

- Hi.

- Hi. - I've never done this.

I'm super excited.

- Hi, honey. - Hi. It's good to see you.

- It's nice to see you. - Nice to see you.

Where's Denise?

- She went to the bathroom. - Oh, okay. Cool.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi. - This is gonna be fun.

- This is hard. - It's fun before it's hard.

- Hey, baby. How are you?

- How are you?

- You look great. - You too.

- How's it going? - Good, thank you.

- Have you ever done this? - I have not. Have you?

- No. - It's gonna be so much fun.

- I'm game to try and do just about anything.

Maybe I am going through a midlife yoga crisis.

- Drop the navel. Lift the gaze for your cow.

- Denise and Erika are the perfect partners

for such a weird form of yoga

because they don't give a (BLEEP).

Those are my people.

- So we're gonna come up on our tip-toes.

You're gonna push down with those hands

and you're gonna lift your sit bones inside.

- Oh. Oh! - Yes.

- Hold onto your fabric and then lay back.

If it is too deep of a bend in the back--

- It's really deep.

- Does this hurt our Botox in any way?

- It depends on when you got it done.

- Like, what about yesterday?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- We might want to rethink the inversion.

- Don't make me smile.

- All right, you're hitched in your fabric.

The wider the leg the better. - Oh, (BLEEP) me.

- Beautiful. - [laughing] Oh, my God.

It's absurd. We are upside down with our legs spread wide.

Not like I haven't been before, but maybe never upside down.

Oh, my God. I cannot believe we're doing this.

I cannot even believe it.

- Nice. - Beautiful.

- Push that right leg away as you pull yourself up, up.

Keep pushing away. Yes, Denise.

- Yes, yes, yes. - Holy ----ing sh--.

- Grab this front side fabric.

So the left side fabric with both hands.

- This is not--who invented this?

- I am up for trying any type of exercise,

but I don't get it. I don't know what it does,

but it's one of those weird LA classes.

- To plow out, feet come to the floor,

and then you open up

nice and wide to release from the fabric.

- Oh! - Yes.

- Oh, my gosh. - Beautiful.

So congratulations. That was your first inversion.

- What is this? Wait. What am I doing now?

- Just keep bringing those feet all the way to the floor,

and then open those arms nice and wide.

Beautiful.

- I definitely suck at flying yoga.

Totally depressing.

I will not be incorporating aerial work into my show.

- You have to fill me in on drinks.

- I'm sad that I couldn't be there.

- It was good.

- It was good, yeah. - It was great.

We had a great time, and then Kyle told us about going over

to Lisa Vanderpump's, and--

- Oh, she went? - She did. It did not go well.

- What? - It got heated with Lisa

and heated with Ken,

and then they threw her out of the house.

- What? They threw her out of the house?

No. No.

- They threw her out of the house.

- I've seen Kyle and Lisa fight,

come back together, disagree, come back together,

squabble, come back together.

It must be devastating for Kyle actually.

- She seemed pretty upset about it.

- Wow.

To kick Kyle out of the house,

that's pretty major. This is a whole 'nother level.

Anyway, I want to have a little get-together for you

for your wedding, since we didn't really

to get spend much time, like, celebrating you.

- Oh, thank you. That would be fun.

- So next Friday, if you guys can all do it.

- Okay. - Oh, I can't come.

I have to go to rehearsal.

- Oh! - Oh, you won't be here?

- Yeah, you're going on tour.

- I'm super excited it sold out.

I'm really ready.

When you find out that you've sold out,

that people are hungry for you...

- You guys, we're going on tour, as you already know.

- I'm really excited.

Chicago is sold out, so that's super good.

- Yes, congrats. - To selling out.

- To selling out.

- You want to go everywhere you possibly can.

Like, "We need to extend this. Where else is the demand?

Christmas is canceled." Like, "Forget your families,

'cause you're on the road with me. So Merry Christmas."

- I can't wait to see your show.

- You're gonna love it.

- I'm gonna see it tomorrow. - It's a good time.

It's a good time.

- I know. - I have my vision.

- Oh!

- You're welcome to jump on the tour.

- Coming up... - Lisa appears to be nice.

- I don't want to get on her ----ing bad side.

If she did this, she played ----ing dirty.

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

[drill buzzing]

Oh, I thought I heard drilling.

- You did.

- So you're putting the cameras up?

- Yeah. So this covers this whole area here.

If anybody opens that door, we'll see it.

- So we'll be able to see people sneak out or sneak in.

Sami's getting into high school,

and new school, new boys.

That's when kids usually start sneaking out.

You can't date until you're 16 years old.

- You guys are so freaking strict.

Oh, my God.

- I started sneaking out when I was 15 years old,

so I know my kid's gonna sneak out,

so I'm putting cameras up so I can catch her.

She's so mad about this.

- I know. - Whatever.

At least we're honest. We could have hid these.

- I know. It's true. Right? - I'm kind of getting hungry.

Can we barbecue or something since we're...

- Yeah, yeah. We can. - We're solo tonight?

♪ ♪

Oh, it's so nice out.

- Isn't it? It's beautiful.

- Oh, this is a nice evening to decompress after a week.

- I love it.

- Oh, I like hanging out with you.

- Oh, it's so nice here.

- I'm glad I went the other night.

- Me too. I had fun. I felt really bad for Kyle.

- Was it weird to you that women fight about this sh--?

- Yes, it is. I mean, guys will just--

- Men are very different. - Yeah.

They'll just go, you know, outside, and fisticuffs, or...

- Women go on and on and on and on.

Aaron's a great sounding board with the girl talk.

I always tell him anything,

and he will actually really listen and give some input.

Do you think I should talk to Lisa Vanderpump?

- What do you want to achieve by getting in the middle of it?

- You know, my experience with her and moments

that I've had with her have been really lovely.

She's been so kind to Eloise.

- Eloise, do I have a funny accent?

- Don't you love the way she talks?

- You do think I sound funny, don't you? A little bit, yeah.

- It's tough to be in your position,

'cause you--you know, you just met her. She's...

she appears to be nice, and--

- And it's--you know what? - What?

- I don't want to get on her ----ing bad side.

She plays dirty.

- That's all right.

- If she did this, she played ----ing dirty.

Have I ever encountered anyone to play dirty?

Yes, I have. At the time I shut my mouth,

but in hindsight, you fight fire with fire.

- She'll probably call you

because you guys do have a connection,

and if the opportunity presents itself, then yeah.

- Comes up then do it? Okay.

- And whatever happens, just speak your truth.

That's it. - Okay.

- That's all you can do.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I'm starving!

- You're hungry, my baby? Okay.

You just need to put your shoes on before we get lunch,

'cause we're gonna have lunch outside today.

- We'll have lunch, and then I'll put my shoes on.

- Honey, you never reminded me to take my pills.

- No, and I want to check your blood.

- Oh, do we have to?

- Can we check it very quickly before lunch?

- I can check it now if you want.

- PK is Type 2 diabetic, and he's on the cusp right now

of potentially, God forbid, going into Type 1 diabetes,

which is far more serious and irreversible.

- All right, let's do this. - Okay, honey. Listen.

- I haven't done it in ages.

- I try desperately to get him to eat healthier,

but it's virtually impossible to get my husband

to eat vegetables.

His mother doesn't eat vegetables.

So now I've got to try and undo his lifestyle

for a healthier lifestyle. Baby, 318.

- That's bad. - 318.

- That's, like, close to diabetic coma.

- Honey, I don't know why you're laughing.

- Because I think it's a one-off reading.

- 318! - I could eat this morning.

- PK.

- That's a little bit of an issue.

- I know, but baby, it's the same thing

as you think that you're, like, dieting and losing weight

and living healthy. I can't get through to you, PK.

- Well, Phoenix, help Daddy.

- I'm playing with my toy.

- PK is an impossible patient. He brushes it off.

It's just like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah.

"You're right. Yep, I'm gonna do it.

Yep, Monday. Yep, next week. Yep, tomorrow."

That's very frustrating.

At least if I saw it was registering I'd feel some hope.

We sit outside, and we have lots of food on the table.

Chicken and a little bit of pasta.

Oh, boy, Jaggy. You're getting big.

- What's this?

- Oh, that's a little bit of dill,

but if you don't like it you can take it off,

although I don't think it will do any harm.

- Can you take it off? - Sure, with pleasure.

- I hate dill.

This is a nice sauce. What's this, ranch?

- I'm not surprised that you love that, my love.

So I've had no communication with Lisa.

PK, I sent her a birthday message.

- What, did she blank it? - Totally blanked it.

- I'm not aware that you've actually fallen out.

- PK, I'm not even aware that we've fallen out.

I have no idea where her head is.

- But she didn't ask me to her birthday.

I know why she didn't invite Kyle,

'cause she told me she had a fallout with her,

but why does that mean she doesn't invite anybody?

- I don't know, my love.

It's the first birthday that we haven't been invited,

but I can't answer for Lisa.

I'm the one who should be upset here.

I haven't done anything wrong. Lisa should be calling me.

- When she's ready to tell me

what her problem is, she'll tell me.

- I guess that's like-- you know what, PK?

That's the way I feel. I feel like--you know what,

Lisa, I know there will be a point

where she wants to talk about it,

and when she does I'm ready and available,

but until then, I'm just getting on with life.

- Coming up... - I don't even remember being

in bed with the man for God's sakes.

I mean, it's been that long,

not that it was ever that hot and heavy.

[dynamic techno music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, hi.

- Hi. - How cute.

- It's a jumpsuit kind of day. - I know.

It felt a little jumpsuit.

- Didn't it? - It's 'cause the weather

can't really decide what it's doing.

- I love it though, 'cause it's kind of fallish,

it's kind of summery. - I know.

- Never a dull moment.

Oh, it's pretty. - I know. I like this.

- Aww.

- So how's things with you? - Things are great. Super busy.

What's been happening is I go home

and then I get in bed with Slate.

She's like, "Just give me a kiss,"

and then I'll fall asleep in bed with her.

- Oh, yeah. I miss those days. - I know.

- They go fast. - They're so sweet.

- And then they're like, "Get out."

- Yeah, soon. I'm just waiting. I'm waiting.

- Just wait. - Hi, ladies.

- Hi. - Welcome to Beauty & Essex.

Can I start you with something to drink?

- Do you have an Aperol Spritz? - We do.

- Let's have an Aperol Spritz. Two please.

- Thanks.

- We're just waiting on I guess Dorit and Kyle and Camille.

- Denise? Is Camille coming tonight?

- Camille's coming,

and Erika's rehearsing tonight for her tour.

How exciting is that?

- I know, but she's coming to LA.

I'm excited for that. - I cannot wait.

Denise is having drinks with Vanderpump before she comes.

- Oh, she is? - Yes.

She called me and she said, "I'm running late.

I'm gonna go have a drink with Vanderpump,"

and I said, "Good."

♪ ♪

- Hey, how are you? - Good, how are you?

- Good. Are you on your way?

- I am, but I'm gonna be a little late.

I'm going to meet LVP for a drink beforehand.

- Oh, are you going to her house or a restaurant?

- No, meeting her at Tom Tom.

- Oh, okay. This is for Lisa's birthday, huh?

- Just like Aaron said would happen,

I heard from Lisa Vanderpump,

and she asked me to stop by her birthday celebration.

- It's my birthday.

Pandy is literally arranging something for tomorrow night.

- Wait, tomorrow's your birthday?

- It was Saturday. She's arranging something for me.

- Oh. I don't know if I can help smooth things

over between Lisa Vanderpump and the other ladies.

All I know is I'm willing to give it a shot.

- I checked with her,

but I don't think I'm gonna get a response,

so you can just tell her I sent her a birthday message.

- You still haven't heard from her?

- No, no.

Maybe you can bridge the gap a little.

- Yeah.

- Okay, I'll talk to you later.

- All righty. All right, I'll see you in a little bit.

- Bye. - Okay, bye-bye.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, what's up, dude? What's going on?

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- All right, I'll see you in a little bit.

- Okay. - Thank you.

My experience with her has been really lovely.

I want to be there for her, and I'm not confronting her.

I want to listen to her.

- And then still or sparkling? - Still. Thank you.

- Have you talked to her at all?

- To Denise?

- Lisa Vanderpump. - No.

We had a little text back and forth.

- Oh, you did? - We did.

I tweeted a tweet for her birthday.

- I saw that. That was so funny.

Like, you post stories about your pill bag, like--

- It's my schtick now. - Yeah.

- It has become a running joke, not only for me but my family.

This is my-- - [gasps] [laughing]

- Wait, wait. I bet you I could call--

I bet you I could name a bunch of those.

- It really started with Vanderpump and Dorit

and my pill bag.

Lisa, that anti-nausea pill, did it help?

- Yeah, it did. She's like a traveling pharmacist.

God, all that sh--

I talked about you, and then you came in useful.

- All that sh-- that went down over my pill bag.

Everybody thinks it's funny because I'm not a pill popper,

and if I was I would never have made fun of it

in the first place.

I got the sense that maybe it would be taken another way,

so I sent her a text, and I was very clear

that it was for fun and we joke,

and I just got a text back from her

saying that she was very glad that it was not intended

another way because of her brother.

- What? - I didn't know

that her brother had died the way he did.

I had no idea.

People started to say

this was in poor taste due to Lisa's brother,

and I thought, [gasps] "Oh, no."

I would never in a million--

- That is never--I would never think--

- Horrible. Never, ever, ever.

- Never, never, and I think she knows that too.

- I hope so.

My sister died of a drug overdose.

I would never make a joke out of that.

She's very sensitive right now, and, you know,

understandably so. I get it. I understand.

It is very difficult what she's going through.

- I know. I agree. - Coming up...

- Hello, girl. - Wow. My God, wow.

- Holy sh--, Dorit. - It's like, "Boobs!" Boobs.

[light techno music]

- So who have we invited? - Well, most of our friends.

Well, some of our friends. Some of them are out of town.

One thing I decided, not to invite anybody

that might make you cry and upset your birthday.

- That's a sad situation, isn't it?

That you even have to say that.

- I know, I know. - Kyle should be coming.

We've celebrated every birthday.

- Tell the truth. She totally knows we're here.

- Oh, here they come. Here they come.

- Where's the birthday girl? - Oh.

- What, make out? - But you know what?

I'm not gonna let anything ruin my birthday tonight.

I couldn't possibly include Kyle and Dorit.

I'm happy without them.

- Are you excited for your birthday?

- Yes.

♪ ♪

- Hi, how are you? - Good, and yourself?

- Good, thanks. - Hi.

- Hi. You made it quicker than everybody else.

- I don't know how. There's so much traffic.

- I love your necklace. You look so good.

- I do? Thank you. - Yeah, you look great.

- That's a pretty necklace. - Oh, thank you.

- So pretty.

♪ ♪

- Hi.

- Hello. - Wow. My God, wow.

- Holy sh--, Dorit.

- You've been looking so good, Rinna.

I had to bring it out.

- Oh, honey. - That's gorgeous.

- You have shamed me and put me in my place forever.

It's like, "Boobs!" And those boobs are good boobs.

Come on, those boobs look good. It's like, "Boobs." Boobs.

- Wait, who else are we waiting for?

Camille and Denise? Is that who else is coming?

- Camille and Denise. - Hello.

- Hi. - Oh, hi.

- Speak of the gorgeous devils. - [overlapping chatter]

- You look gorgeous. Hi. It's so nice to see you.

- It's so great to see you. - Hi.

- Hi. - This looks very bride-to-be.

- So pretty. - So cute.

- No one stood up for me by the way,

but that's quite all right.

[laughter]

[indistinct chatter]

- Lisa Vanderpump's not here.

We're meeting for a drink before she celebrates.

Guests are arriving, and I feel so awkward.

- Have you been here before? - I haven't.

It's really--I love it.

It's really beautiful. I love it.

- It is. It's really something. This is my third time.

- I have no idea who the guy is talking to me.

I'll talk to anyone in a bar. At least he's nice to me.

- I might have to get

a little appetizer. - Oh, yeah.

We should order a little something.

- Hi, ladies.

Have we had a chance to look at the menu?

- What do you recommend as options?

- Our yellowtail sashimi is a lovely option.

- That sounds really good.

- [inaudible]. I like that.

- Can you just bring a bunch of fun stuff for us to nibble on?

- Sure. - Just bring a whole of nibble.

- And I know what I want to drink.

- Yeah? - Is it the cucumber?

Or was it the Green Envy? Was that it?

- The Green With Envy? - Green With Envy,

there you go.

- Tell us about your wedding. - Tell us about the wedding.

- Okay. It's gonna be amazing, and I'm so glad

that you all-- you ladies are joining me.

- Yes.

I don't think I invited anyone to my wedding who made the hair

on the back of my neck stand up.

- There's something about Dorit that just gets me.

- Jeez, Camille. Tell me.

- There's a little bit of phoniness,

and I don't know where she's at.

Like, I don't know if she has all the money she has,

or is it a show? The fake accent, all of it.

She makes the back of the little hairs

on your neck just stand up. Just wondering what is real.

- "Hey, let's invite that person

"that, like, gets my goat.

Let's invite her to my destination wedding."

Who the (BLEEP) does that?

- Have you talked to Lisa Vanderpump by the way?

- No, I haven't.

- Denise is having drinks with her right now.

That's why she's not here. - Oh, okay.

- How is it that Denise got an invitation

to Lisa Vanderpump's birthday party

but none of us did?

- You know, I think it's great

that she's there talking to her.

- Well, maybe she made some progress. Hopefully.

- Denise she's known for 10 seconds.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

- Hello, hello, hello. - Hi. Happy birthday.

- Oh, it's so good to see all of you.

I love you. - Hi.

- Thank you for my present. How are you, darling?

- Good, how are you? - Good to see you.

- I love you, gorgeous. You look amazing.

- I feel sad for Lisa Vanderpump,

putting on a happy face knowing the other women

aren't here to celebrate her birthday,

and I know this is really hard for her.

- Hey. - Hello, darling.

I came to drop off a gift for your birthday,

so I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.

- Oh, you're so sweet. Oh, you're so sweet.

I've still got your wedding gift.

- Oh, stop. I don't need a wedding gift.

- Do you want to stay?

- I thought we were just meeting for a drink.

You know what, I have another dinner to run to.

I would love to otherwise,

but maybe we can have lunch next week?

"Maybe you forgot."

That's okay, I know she has a lot on her mind.

I feel bad that there's so much discord

with everything, and I don't--

- Oh, it's devastated me.

- It's to this point, you know what I mean?

- Yeah. Well, I feel even worse.

- I know.

- I don't even want to drag you into all of this nonsense.

I really don't, you know?

- I don't want you to feel like you're--

- Under attack? Anyway, thank you for coming.

- Enjoy your evening. Of course.

- Thank you, really. I really, really appreciate it.

- You have a wonderful birthday dinner.

- Thank you, darling. I'll see you soon.

- All right, bye. Thank you.

[dramatic music]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, girls.

- Hi! - Hi.

- Oh, careful. - Hi.

- You look beautiful. - So do you.

- Nice to see you. [overlapping chatter]

- Congratulations again.

- Well, I'm fashionably late then.

Thank you.

- Come sit down. - Hi, girls.

- Hi. - First of all, how are you?

How is married life?

- Well, so far, two weeks in, it's good.

- Yay!

- Thank you for putting this together.

- I know. We need to-- - I'm sorry that I was late.

- Congratulations.

- Okay, so married life is good.

- Married life is good. - Everything is good?

- Yeah. - Your kids are good?

- The kids are good. - How was Lisa?

- She seemed happy

that she had her family and her friends there.

- Oh, that's nice. - I just, you know, told her

that I wanted to meet with her and see

if we could get together for lunch or something,

because I don't know her that well,

and I don't have a lot of--any history with her,

and so I think that there's been a lot of discord

with everything.

- The group? - Yeah, and I think

that there's a way for you to mend it or not or whatever.

- It's Lisa's birthday. We're not speaking.

We're not gonna spend her birthday together.

This is weird. We're always together.

- I just don't understand why she's upset with any of us.

- I don't have any beef with her.

I don't even know why she would be upset with me.

- I mean, the truth is you guys were all talking to her

until I went to her house,

and then all of a sudden everyone got cut off.

- If Lisa's feelings are hurt,

her immediate defense is she pushes you away,

and when she's ready she'll speak to you,

but only when she feels like you've been punished.

- Did anything come up about the situation tonight?

- No. I didn't feel it was

appropriate for me to bring anything up.

- Did she say anything about anything?

- No, I think she was a little hesitant.

I mean, literally we were standing

with--her guests were right there too.

- Oh.

- She seemed like she was doing okay.

- That's nice.

- Hey, love.

- Hey, darling. Thank you for my flowers.

- Of course, my love.

- They look gorgeous. You're the best.

Thank you so much. Thank you. - Aren't they beautiful?

Just for you, baby. Isn't this fantastic?

- Beautiful. I love that. - Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

How are you, darling?

- You look beautiful tonight.

- Thanks. - Another year.

- I know.

Do you know how long we've known each other?

- A long time. Let's not count.

- No.

- Hey, Mom. - Yes, my children?

- You okay? Are you okay? - Yes, I'm good.

- Yeah?

I thought you've been having trouble with your friends.

- Oh, my God.

Who told you that? - Pandy did.

- Just in general. I--

- I don't even want to talk about that now.

- You okay? - Yeah, I'm okay.

- If you need anything I'm here for you, Mom.

- You can count on us.

- I love you. Thank you. - I love you too, Mom.

Of course.

- Hey, shouldn't you be at work tonight?

- I got off for your birthday.

- [laughing]

You must know the owner. I love you.

- I love you too, Mom.

- Thank you, sweetie. - Yeah.

- John, what is going on? - I think that we might have

a little something prepared for you.

- What is it, like, shirtless men coming in?

- I don't know, maybe. A little stripper or something.

- Oh, no!

- It must be my birthday.

all: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Lisa ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- Well, thank God you have your...

[cheering]

I just want to say thank God you have your trousers on,

and thank you so much, all of you, for coming.

It's been a really, really tough year,

and this next year hopefully is gonna be better.

But I love all of you,

and your friendship means everything to me,

and thank you just for being here. I love you.

[cheering]

- Okay, now let's party.

- I'd love to cheers to Denise. Let's do a cheers

to Denise and Aaron and many, many happy years together.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- Cheers. - And you're next.

- Cheers!

- And to the next bride-to-be, Camille.

- And cheers to the next bride-to-be, Camille!

- Thank you, girls. - Yay! Hawaii, here we come.

- And my shower coming up.

- I planned her shower not knowing it was where Kelsey

and her got married. Can you imagine?

- That's, like, ancient history.

- It looks good.

- Congratulations, and good luck tonight.

- Thank you.

- I love you. - Thank you.

- You're gonna do great. - I love you too.

- I don't even remember, like, being in bed with the man,

for God's sakes. - Oh, my God.

- I mean, it's been that long,

not that it was ever that hot and heavy.

And listen, I have so much,

because I've learned a lot because of him.

I was deeply, madly in love with him during our marriage,

and in the end it just petered out.

Somebody's in the apartment as Mrs. Grammer; it's just not me.

Whoever this is--I mean,

I do in my heart believe it's a woman.

I mean, does she not know that she's destroying a family?

It wasn't forever. It just--

- That's a nice way of putting it.

I'm actually gonna use that if mine peters out too.

- Dorit's never seen me like this.

- Oh, my God. No, never.

- You never spend enough time. Kyle knows it.

- I love this Camille.

- We had her in Colorado.

- If he's a bad kisser, forget it.

- Oh, my God. - Forget it.

My ex was a terrible kisser.

[laughter]

- Here we go!

- I'm not gonna lie that I'm very entertained

when Camille gets on a roll like this.

You just don't know

what is gonna come out of Camille's mouth

when she's talking about Kelsey,

or anyone if she's pissed off at them for that matter.

- I think Camille needs another drink.

- I need another drink. See what happens every...

- Yeah, one drink in.

Camille, what else can we talk about?

- Did you ever male-groom PK? - I don't do it.

- I like to see my men male-groomed. Like, male--

- But thank God PK is very, very well-groomed.

He is so clean.

- And I'm an ex-dental assistant.

It's hard for me because I was a dental assistant.

- [inaudible]? - I was a dental assistant.

- You were a dental assistant? - Yes, I was.

I'm really funny about teeth, for real.

God, before Lisa Vanderpump got her teeth redone,

I had an issue with the...

[laughter]

I had such an issue with the gums.

I was like, honey, you need new caps.

Your gum line is receding.

And that was...

- I'm done. I'm very dehydrated.

- I didn't know she had her teeth done.

[laughter]

- Oh, my God, Camille.

You need to zip it.

You're going just a bit too far.

- I can't breathe.

- I think I'm getting hives.

- I know, I'm so hot.

I know that I have my issues with Lisa Vanderpump,

but this kind of talk out of Camille--

I mean, that is next level.

No going back from that.

- And now they look great.

Well, at least you can stand her breath.

I'm going down. I'm going down.

Just bring my casket to my wedding and after...

I'll bring the 9-inch nails next to it.

We'll just put me in it. God help me.

- Next time on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills":

- It's the bride.

- Hi! - I love a bridal shower.

- What happened to Vanderpump? She's not here.

She's not coming?

- The last time I stood here, it was with a friend of mine.

Bitch!

- It's so good to see you. - I know, Lois!

Lois is in town!

- Guess who's here right now. - Who?

- She just sent me a text saying, "I'm watching you."

- What?

- Are you kidding me? Is this a coincidence?

- We don't know if for sure it happened or not.

- Camille, he's gonna be a judge on our court

for the rest of his ----ing life,

and that is a very big ----ing thing.

- I know what it feels like to be wrongfully accused.

- To learn more about the Housewives,

go to bravotv.com.