All language subtitles for The.Happys.2016

♪cheery rumba music plays

Downloaded from
YTS.MX

TRACY:
Ever since I was a little girl,

I knew exactly what my life
would look like.

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

I d meet the man of my dreams.

And we d have
everything in common.

And in ninth grade,
I met Mark Lewis.

He was perfect.

MARK:
Is it dead?

You're so weird.

I dream that one day
you'll eat a burger medium rare.

It s so bloody, it...

Get out of here.

TRACY:
I d do whatever it takes

to keep my man happy.
I d make us a wonderful home

and cook for him,
and everything would be just so.

And when Mark got cast as a
lead in a big Hollywood movie,

well, I left the Midwest
and moved out to Los Angeles,

And I love it here.
L.A. is always so sunny,

and Los Feliz is like
a small town in a big city.

Everyone is so nice.

Do you have any
cheddar from Wisconsin?

CLERK: Nope.

I m not even twenty-two,
and I ve got everything

I ve ever wanted.

Now all I have to do
is live happily ever after.

[moaning heard in background]

♪impending doom music begins

♪doom music builds

♪deep instrumental music begins

♪deep instrumental
music continues♪

MARK: Trace.

♪guitar strums underneath

MARK:
I thought you
had a job interview.

Where are you going?

Back to Wisconsin.

MARK: Trace!

MARK:
Just stay.
Let s talk about this.

MARK:
Aw, Trace.
I love you, Tracy.

MARK:
I love you.

[Traffic sounds]

[Cell phone rings]

ALICIA:
Hi, sis, how s Los Angeles?
Ready to come back yet?

TRACY:
What? Well, actually...

ALICIA:
Don't make me lose my bet.

ALICIA:
Mom said you
wouldn t last a month.

I ve got you
there at least six.

You guys made bets?

ALICIA:
Oh yeah, a whole pool.

Dad s down for three months.

ALICIA:
And Sharon, you know that bitch
from the party store,

ALICIA:
she thinks you're
gonna die in an earthquake.

You didn t think me
and Mark would last?

ALICIA:
You know, Hollywood.

We've been together
for almost six years.

ALICIA:
Whatever. It doesn t
matter what we think.

ALICIA:
So, how s it going?

Great.

♪piano music plays

It s going great.

KRISTA:
You say you're too
sick to go to a rehearsal?

You're not famous
enough yet to pull that shit,

and if you have so much as a
sniffle, I m the first to know.

Got it?

Don't tell me you
ate a whole pizza.

MARK:
Uh, stop.

KRISTA:
What? Did you have a
fight with your girlfriend?

Shit happens, but I worked
too hard to get you this role.

Where is your script?

Seriously?

Fine. Uh...

♪piano music plays

[traffic sounds]

[mosquito sounds]

KRISTA:
Come on, do
you want it or not?

MARK:
Oh, I want it. I want it bad.

KRISTA:
This is playful. You're
supposed to be flirting.

Come on, show me some
of that Mark Lewis charm.

I m tired. I know the lines.

You really don't
think she s coming back?

MARK:
What, Tracy?

[knocking on door]

PATRICK:
Hey lover.

Hey Patrick.

Patrick Waddell?

Krista Daly?!?

MARK:
I m working with Krista,

so I don't need to rehearse that
scene with you after all.

PATRICK:
That s so good because
I m not even here to rehearse.

Oh. Then what the
hell are you doing here?

PATRICK:
I just came to say hi.
Is that like, a crime?

MARK: Thanks.

I thought maybe
he was feeling lonely.

MARK: I m fine.

PATRICK:
Krista Daly. How come
you're not my manager?

♪deep music plays with chimes

[mosquito sounds]

[ocean and wind sounds]

[birds and traffic sounds]

[birds and traffic sounds]

[squawking bird sounds]

♪cymbals

[running sounds]

[his breathing, labored]

[ocean sounds with
music underneath]

[door opening sound in distance]

[bird chirping sounds]

TRACY:
Are you alone?

MARK: Yeah.

Is that guy...

It was a mistake.

Right.

I'm so sorry, Trace.

Let me tell you what I
want, and you tell me if you

you can live with it.
I wanna be your wife.

For the past six years I've
wanted to be your wife. I -

I want to have your children,
and I-I wanna cook for you,

and I-I want to be good to you,
and, and I want to love you, and

I want you to love me, and I
want you to provide for me,

and I want
you to treat me with respect.

I do love you.

TRACY:
I don't know
what that was, but

you have to
promise me...never again.

Definitely not.

MARK:
The look on your face...

So we have a deal?

♪slow piano music plays

I promise.

You're gonna be
late for rehearsal.

I ll make
you some breakfast.

♪hopeful piano music plays

[door creaking]

TRACY:
Welcome home.

MARK:
This looks great.

Sit down. Give me a sec.

MARK: Trace.

I just want to say...

Don't.

In honor of our
new commitment...

Mark.

MARK:
The rock s on the way.

You really want this?

I do.

MARK:
It's too big.

No, it's perfect.

[bird chirping sounds]

ALICIA:
Trace, I don't know if five
months is enough time. I mean...

ALICIA:
the VFW and the Italian-
American club are all booked up

ALICIA:
for every weekend in September.

TRACY:
There's gotta be someplace.

MARK:
What are you doing up?

TRACY:
Let s just have it...outdoors.

TRACY:
We ll have a beautiful
outdoor wedding in September.

ALICIA:
Uh, I got one
word for you... rain.

Well maybe it won't rain.

ALICIA:
Well If it hadn t rained
at my wedding, maybe I

wouldn t be divorced right now.

TRACY:
Just call me...
when you find something,

okay? I don't want to
go any later than September.

Fine. Bye.

You've got a six-thirty
call, I m up with you.

My man s got to
have his breakfast.

You're so good, but I don't
think I can eat this early.

I ll make it to-go.

MARK:
You do know we have
catering trucks, right?

I mean, there's more food
on the set than I ve ever seen

in my life.

I don't like the idea of
you eating your meals

off of a truck.

TRACY:
I m your fiancé,
I should feed you.

[phone ding and buzzing sounds]

Ride s here. I m sorry
about the crazy long hours,

hon. I feel like
I never see you.

Break a leg.

♪fun rumba music plays

[indistinct voices]

2ND AD:
Hey, Mark,
Tracy's here.

MARK:
Come on in.

MAGGIE:
Hey Tracy, what
did you bring today?

TRACY:
It s uh, duck sausage on
pretzel buns with Dijon mustard.

MAGGIE:
Where do you come
up with these recipes?

TRACY:
Just down-home Wisconsin
cooking. Can he have a bite?

MAGGIE: Uh...

Oh, just put it
down for now, hon.

MAGGIE:
Not there! Sorry.

TRACY: Okay.
There is fine.

Oh, no problem. Sorry.

So how s it going today?

Well, I m still in
makeup so, so far, so good.

Right.

What are you up to now?

TRACY: Uh...

♪music stops

I don't know.

FEMALE CREW MEMBER:
Props!

♪slower latin music plays

LUANN: Thank you.

FEMALE TENANT:
Have a great day, Luann.

LUANN: Okay!

FEMALE TENANT:
I mean it. Bye.
LUANN:
Yes. Yes, you too.

TRACY:
Hi Luann.

LUANN:
Hi Tracy. Whatcha doing?

TRACY:
Walking.
What about you?

Collecting rent
checks. What about you?

Taking a walk.

LUANN:
Oh yeah, so you said.

So you own this house too?

Oh, yes, I do. I bought a bevy
of houses in the Happy's

when the market was down.

The Happy's?

LUANN:
Our neighborhood. Los Feliz, the
Happy's, translated strictly.

Right.

LUANN:
Thank God for residuals.

You still make
money from that show?

Hell yeah. Thank God for cable
TV, they're still running that

at least twice a day.

[metal and glass sounds]

TRACY:
That was weird.

LUANN:
Oh, oh, did you see him?

TRACY:
Who?
LUANN:
Did you see him? Sebastian.

Did you see him?

TRACY:
I saw his hand.

LUANN:
That counts as a sighting. He
moved in maybe seven years ago.

I swear to you he has
not left that place since.

Is he an invalid? Is he old?

LUANN:
Nope and nope. Sebastian
is the quintessence of an

enigma. One who is
inscrutable, ambiguous,

puzzling.
Sebastian is an enigma.

Hmm.

♪thought provoking music plays

GO FUSION VENDOR:
What can I get for you?

TRACY:
I don't know.
This food is so weird.

What's like, the
best thing you've got?

The teriyakos
are pretty awesome.

TRACY:
So, they re like, tacos?

GO FUSION VENDOR:
Teriyaki. Tacos. Teriyakos.

Oh. Can I have one?

[door latch clicking sound]
[dog barking and door slam]

TRACK COACH:
Let s go, let s go. High knees,
boys, high knees. Looking good.

What are you doing
here? Your trial is right now.

You're not gonna make the team.

MARK:
I can't go anywhere until
you tell me you'll accept this.

GRETCHEN: Whoa.

TRACK COACH:
I told you, I can't marry you.

GRETCHEN:
Look at that rock!

I m too messed
up I need therapy.

Girl, stop talking.

I need a lobotomy.

Look, you want
to get a lobotomy,

we ll get you a lobotomy.

You want therapy, acupuncture,
a massage, a vasectomy,

tendinitis, appendectomy,
you want to be hypnotized,

whatever. You
name it, it s yours.

You want to go kill your father,
that s fine. We ll do it.

[crashing sound]

PAULA:
Cut! What now?

PAULA:
Who the hell are you?

MARK: Sorry.

TRACK COACH:
Makeup.

TRACY:
Somebody bumped
into me. It wasn t my fault.

I told you we were
shooting my big scene today.

I know, I really
wanted to see it.

MARK:
Can we get a minute here?

[indistinct voices]

I brought teriyaki burritos.

What?

It s fusion.

I m sorry, but do you
think you could chill out on the

coming-here-every-fucking-day
thing? I didn t mean fucking,

I don't know. Maybe you should
get a job or something.

I m sorry,
I just, I thought...

[indistinct voices]

♪ music plays

LUANN:
Hello. Do you like the new
feeder? Those industrious

hummingbirds just
devour my homemade nectar.

TRACY:
Do you want a teriyaki burrito?

Yes, I do.

Did you make this?

Yeah.

It smells so good.

Mm-hmm.

Mm, par excellence. That
is one fine teriyaki burrito.

Looks like the avocado
turned a little brown.

Speaking of a little brown,
did I tell you about Sebastian?

Yeah, the other day, the enigma.

Did I tell you I ve
been spying on him?

Do you spy on
all of your tenants?

No, just the brown one.

Is he...black?

LUANN:
Not by birth.
Every day from ten until three,

he lays out and
roasts in the sun.

I ve climbed up his
fence, and watched him.

He looks so irenical.

TRACY:
Hm.

[mosquito sounds]

TRACY:
Oh my God. Oh my
God, these are awesome.

I would kill to have a
set of real professional knives.

Tracy, I m really sorry
about this afternoon, really.

I do think it would be better if
you didn t come by every day,

but the way I handled
it was totally out of line.

And I m sorry.

♪slow romantic music plays

♪latin music plays

RICKY: [Spanish]
Precious jewel.

RICKY: [Spanish]
Yes, yes, you.

RICKY:
You hungry for the best
chow north of Cancun, or what?

♪latin music plays

I don't know.

What, you don't know?

I have some friends
who went to Cancun,

but all they had were
burgers and hot wings.

Well, your friends are stupid.

RICKY: Megan!

[Spanish]
It's a burrito of
conhinita pibil, extra spicy.

MEGAN:
Pibil extra spicy.
TRACY:
You're very bossy.

Do you like that?

Not really.

I think you do.

♪latin music plays

♪chime bells

♪inquisitive piano music begins

[exaggerated metal clangs]

TRACY: Ow.

SEBASTIAN:
What are you doing here?

SEBASTIAN:
Get out. Get out!

I m sorry. I m so sorry.

SEBASTIAN:
Get out of my house!

How? Where do I go?

No, stop. Get away. Get away.
Get away! Uh...Uh...

Follow me.

TRACY:
Okay.

TRACY:
Ooh, I think I hit my head.

SEBASTIAN:
No, don't, don't do that.

Oh man, I have a bump.
Would you feel this bump?

SEBASTIAN: Mm.

TRACY: Ooh.

[freezer door
opening and closing sounds]

TRACY: Thanks.

Don't get water on the rug.

The door is right there.
Don't come back here again.

Okay.

[deep frantic breaths]

♪slow music plays

[timer ticking]

[timer dinging]

TRACY:
Hi.

You're still here?

I have nowhere else to go.

What, you're homeless?

I just don't want to be
alone right now.

You know what I mean?

♪light pop music plays

[door creaking sounds]
[dog barking sounds]

Oh my God, you're
okay. Where have you been?

Out.

Your car was in the driveway.
I sent you like, twenty texts.

I m really tired. I ll tell
you about it in the morning.

Are you drunk?
Where have you been?

♪strong piano music plays

LUANN:
Hey, Tracy, this is
Wilma. Wilma, Tracy.

LUANN:
We are late for a long-
standing date at Fancy Nails.

WILMA:
I was in Some Like it Hot.

Really?

LUANN:
Yes, indeed.
TRACY:
Wow.

LUANN:
Wilma is a
master of the piccolo.

Ooh, sorry.
Nice to meet you.

[pounding on door sounds]

[pounding on door sounds]

Sebastian, it s
Tracy. Let me in.

[dog barking sounds]
[pounding on door sounds]

I know you're in there.

Ugh.

What do you want?

TRACY:
Come on, let me in.

Look, I, I got some bread.
I made some cheese curds.

Cheese curds.

I even brought some wine to
replace what we drank yesterday.

What do you say?

[chewing noises]

Cheese curds. Who knew?

Well...you can't live on
wine and hoagies alone.

Sure you can. I m living proof.

So what did Mark say to you
when you came home last night?

Was he mad?

Nah. Ooh.

TRACY:
The bridesmaid dresses
I was telling you about.

Mm.

Um...personally, I mean, I
would go with something simple,

...light.

Should we get
some light in here?

No!

Don't touch that.

Sorry.

[dog barking sounds]

Have you ever thought
about painting for real?

Like on a canvas?

I m a graphic designer. It s
nice, I get to work from home.

More.
More, more, more, more.

[bottle knock sounds]

You left your ring
on my patio last night.

TRACY:
Oh man. Thanks...Hm.

♪grab me up and throw
me down, skin to skin...♪

KATHERINE PORTER:
Does anyone else think my hair
is too brunette for this role?

KATHERINE PORTER:
In the book, it s
definitely auburn.

PAULA:
The book. Your character
isn't even gay in the book.

PATRICK:
Do you need me to like, butch up
my acting a little bit tomorrow?

PAULA:
As if you could. Oh
here's a true fact, okay.

The studio made us
turn your character gay

because young adult movies
that feature a gay best friend

gross up to twenty-
five percent more.

PATRICK:
That figures, 'cause if
you're like, a commodity,

Hollywood exploits you. And that
is why I am going to be stuck in

these roles for the
rest of my gay life.

ASIAN CHICK:
Try being Asian and
booking a lead role

if you're not Lucy Liu.
At least you can play straight.

KATHERINE PORTER:
Uh, have you seen The Wedding
Party? He can't play straight.

PATRICK:
Oh!

PATRICK:
Yes I can.

PATRICK:
First off, fuck you, and
second off, fuck you again.

Stuff like that is what
forces actors into the closet

in the first place, so it s not
a good thing to perpetuate.

PAULA:
You know, that s
true, that s really true.

TRACY:
What's wrong with you?
You don't have any...any...

TRACY:
ugh...anything in here.

I don't need anything. I can
get whatever I want delivered.

Okay.
Come on, let s get serious.

When is the last
time you left the house?

1932.

SEBASTIAN:
Don't touch me.
Don't ever do that again.

Okay, I hear you. I won't.

TRACY:
Oh hey, raisins.
How old are these?

SEBASTIAN:
I don't know.

TRACY:
Hmm.

You know, I did travel
across the country for a year.

TRACY:
Oh yeah?

TRACY: Hm.
SEBASTIAN: Mm-hm.

I was living in Florida.

Quit my job and just
took off for a year.

When was that?

I mean, it was mostly just
aimlessly wandering really.

No ties, no places to
be, no one to answer to.

God, that sounds so great. Mm.

You'd think.

It wasn t fun?

I mean, this
country s pretty depressing.

Oh.

Yeah. So, I ended up in L.A.,

which as you can see, the
good times just keep on rolling.

You need more wine.
You need a lot more wine.

♪jazz music plays
[laughter can be heard]

PATRICK:
No, that s what I m
talking about. There are two...

PATRICK:
kinds of gay guys
in Hollywood, okay.

There are guys like me who
wear it like a badge of honor,

and then there are
these closet cases,

who are so afraid that if
they're ever found out--

they're never going to get
another part. And it s sick.

KATHERINE PORTER:
I licked a vagina.

KATHERINE PORTER:
Seriously. I said it.

PATRICK:
What about you, Mulan?

Exclusively dick.

ASIAN CHICK:
But if Katherine Porter asked...

PATRICK:
What about our
esteemed cinematographer?

CINEMATOGRAPHER:
Well, I was gay for pay a
couple times in the 90s.

PATRICK:
No you fucking weren't.

MARK:
Give me that joint.
I m way too sober.

PAULA:
Hey, you should listen
up. You're exactly that type

of pretty boy, sexy stud that
people start gossiping about.

KATHERINE PORTER:
Mm-hmm.

MARK:
I m not worried.

PATRICK:
You're not worried, Mark?

PATRICK:
I guess Mark doesn t
have to worry, huh?

Mark s as straight as they come.
You getting married soon, right?

CINEMATOGRAPHER:
That little cutie that always
brings you food to the set.

KATHERINE PORTER:
Has she seen the craft service
table, she knows that we get,

we eat food.

PATRICK:
Have you had
anything to drink, Katherine?

PATRICK:
Do you want me to
get you another refill?

PAULA:
Oh, vagina
flavored would be good.

[door unlocking sounds]
♪slow piano music plays

TRACY: Mark!

[key rattling sounds,
then door closing]

[thud and splat sounds]

♪tinkling, echoing music plays

♪energetic drum music plays

[splat sound]

[series of splat sounds]

♪echoing music plays

[traffic sounds]

[car lock beep sound]
[footstep sounds]

PATRICK:
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

MARK:
What the fuck were
you doing in there?

You think this is
a fucking game?

PATRICK:
No! I...hey.

Don't fuck with me.

I m...I m drunk, okay.
I just want to go home.

Is that what you want?

PATRICK:
Yes.

Yes.

[yelling sounds]
[belt buckle and zipper sounds]

♪deep salsa drums start

[door hits and rustling sounds]

♪music builds

♪music climax and fall

[hollow thud sound]

♪music reverbs and echoes

[DVD case rustling sound]

♪deep beat music plays

[plastic thud sound]

[plastic knocking sounds]

[creaking sounds]

[mosquito sounds]
[dog barking sounds]

[door opening sound]

♪music intensifies

Do me, Mark. Just do me.

♪music further intensifies

[thud sound]

♪music stops abruptly

Four days in a
row. Twice yesterday.

Wow.

I really think
we ve turned a corner.

So. I mean, this is someone
that you...I mean, this is,

this is more than usual?

He s been really busy.

This whole move to L.A.
has been hard for both of us.

What about before?

I mean, in the first
couple years, sure,

but we were teenagers.

Then he went away
to college, and...

I don't know, it s
been more about the

relationship part
than the sex part.

Oh you're not going to get any
color with that forty-five SPF.

What about you?

I don't use forty-five.

No, I mean, sex.

What about it?

When s the last
time you had any?

Is this an offer?

Ha, ha, ha, ha. No.

Come on, tell me.

Seven years.

That s a long time.

It s fine,
I don't really miss it.

Yeah, I didn t
think I did either.

Well, it s
different situations.

So, what is it?

What?

Lay off!
Your situation.

Oh come on. I have told
you my entire life story in the

last week and a half.

What do I know about you? That
you use baby oil and enjoy the

occasional glass of wine.

Tell me something.

Have you heard of the
brown recluse spider?

Well, did you know
that if you're bit by one,

they have to remove a two-
inch diameter section of flesh?

And if you're bitten
on the testicle...

I m so sorry.

Yeah. So was Sherri.

Who s...

She said I was
disgusting. I guess I am.

No. You're not.

SEBASTIAN:
Drink up. It s time to go.

♪high energy latin music plays

[in the distance]
Tacos, tacos,
we ve got tacos.

RICKY:
Come on, tacos.
Anybody, I got tacos.

RICKY:
Yucatan-tastic tacos.

The best tacos in Mexico.
The best tacos from Mexico,

I got em for you, come on.

Hey, Señorita, get some chicken
from Yucatan, it s beautiful.

ANGRY VEGAN:
I m a vegan. Meat is murder.

RICKY:
But...it tastes good.

RICKY:
Come on, I brought the
chicken myself from Yucatan.

Hey, hey, hey, Hot Wings,
you passing me by or what?

Oh hey.

Yeah. You didn t
like my burrito?

It was great. Hey, how
come nobody s in line here?

Ah, this Eastside
crowd, they only want

novelty foods now,
Mexican-Korean, bacon ice cream,

spaghetti sandwich.

Spaghetti in a sandwich?

Okay, I made that one
up, but you get the point.

Hipsters are stupid.

Is everybody stupid to you?

Not you, Hot Wings.

You and me
are purists, right?

Come on, what can I get you?

Actually, I was going to
try the Viet-Cajun truck.

Oh.

I read about it online.

Traitor.

Sorry.

Hot Wings,
Yucatan-tastic too.

♪music stops abruptly

[creaking door sound]
[paper bag rustling sounds]

Mark! Wow, what
are you doing home?

I got cut early and got
takeout from Providence.

I know you've
been dying to go there.

♪romantic music starts

TRACY:
You're the best boy.

MARK:
Mm, you're the grip.

You're the gaffer.

You're the...prop master.

You're the prop.

We could have
dessert before dinner.

MARK:
Yes we could.

I gotta pee. I ll see
you in the bedroom?

Yes, you will.

[door opening
and closing sounds]

TOMAS:
Okay, remember in the
second season when Mitzi

got stuck in the
sofa bed? Didn t that hurt?

Well, I had a stunt
double, but she hated me.

JONATHAN:
Oh come on,
give us the dirt.

TOMAS:
You do realize this man is a

reporter for
People magazine, right?

JONATHAN:
Okay, it s off the
record. I promise.

I slept with her father.

[gasps]
Oh my God.

I know. I know. Take no
pleasure in telling you that.

I m not judging.

LUANN: Hey!

How you doing?

I m doing good.
I have not seen you...

since you signed that lease.

Ah, yeah, I ve been working.

LUANN:
Indeed you have.
Indeed you have...

Being a movie star is a very
time-consuming endeavor.

LUANN:
Take it from me.

I m not a movie...

JONATHAN:
Ignore her.

LUANN:
Often a fine idea.

Hi, I m Jonathan.
This is Tomas.

Ah. I m sorry,
I m a little...sweaty.

That s totally fine.

Oh God, you're so bad.

I can't believe you
guys haven t met before.

That is nut-burgers.

The Happy's is going
to hell in a hand basket.

The Happy's?

LUANN:
Yeah, it s the-
Don t, just- call it that.

LUANN:
No? I can't? Okay.
I see Tracy around a lot.

I feel bad. I m not the
world s greatest boyfriend.

TOMAS:
Oh yeah, what does he do?

MARK: Who?

TOMAS: Tracy.

SHE...doesn t have
a job right now.

Oh. Oh.

JONATHAN:
Uh, we re going
to go to the gym, so...

we re going to pretend to work
out. Uh, we ll see you later.

Nice meeting you.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

I thought you were absolutely
incandescent as that paraplegic

boy by the way.

Thanks.
[car door closing sounds]

LUANN:
Really, it takes a very...

[car engine starting sounds]

true talent to be that
honest and that...raw on screen.

LUANN:
Just save some of
that for real life, too.

Please, take it from Luann.

Okay.
Better get in the shower.

LUANN:
Okay.

Nice talking to you.

It s always a pleasure, Mark.

[bean bag rustling sounds]

It looks like you're
doing something dirty.

I m breaking it in.

SEBASTIAN:
Okay, got a few options.

Take a look.

Ooh. These are great. Oh,
I don't know which to choose.

What do you think?

Uh, take em home to
Mark and you two decide.

SEBASTIAN:
It s your wedding.

Will you come?

To your wedding?

Mm-hm.

Hmm, that s what videos are for.

Come on, what's for dinner?

I ve been marinating
some shredded pork.

Have you ever
tried cochinita pibil?

Once in Cancun.

Really?

Really.

You don't have to say that.

Yes, really. The dinner was
amazing. I mean, you could,

you could open a
restaurant, easily.

Like you'd know.

Ah! It s not fair,
I can't touch you.

SEBASTIAN:
Ha ha.

So how are things with Mark?

Great. Yeah, we re...

doing it all the time these
days, and it s, it's really...

SEBASTIAN:
What is it?

Thank you.

For?

I don't know.
Listening, caring, being real.

Real weird.

Yeah, that too.
But it s more than that.

It feels good being around you.

Quit being so mushy.

You love it.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

I didn t touch you.
The water did.

[heavy breathing and creaking]

Mark.

Ow, Mark!

Ow, Mark. Stop it, it hurts.

Stop. Stop!

Mark! You're hurting me!

Fuck!

MARK:
I can't fucking do this.
I can't fucking do this.

This whole fucking
thing is so pathetic.

Mark.

MARK:
Do you have any idea?

♪somber music fades in

What? What is it?

How unhappy I am.

Don't. Don't comfort me.

What am I supposed to do?

Nothing. We re just nothing.

What are you talking about?

Can't you see? Look at us.

We ll get through this.

TRACY:
Whatever it is,
we ll get through it.

You're so fucking delusional.

We will not get through
this because this is over.

I m just done. Do you get it?

♪music ends with guitar strum

[pounding sounds on door]

[persistent pounding sounds]

TRACY:
Sebastian!
Sebastian! Please open up!

[loud sobbing and gasping]

Well, if you need
anything else, I ll be working.

Just get some rest.

SEBASTIAN:
Okay?

He s gay.

SEBASTIAN: What?

Mark. He s gay.
I walked on him with a guy.

SEBASTIAN:
What, today?

No. A couple of months ago.

SEBASTIAN:
You mean, all this time...

It just feels so stupid.

♪somber music fades in

SEBASTIAN:
But it s not your fault.

I ve known.
I guess I ve always known.

I just thought that
if he loved me enough...

SEBASTIAN: Tracy.

Stay with me.
I don't want to me alone.

Can you...lay down with me?

[indistinct voices]

2ND AD:
We need him on
set in five minutes.

Well I need four of em.

2ND AD:
He hasn t finished make-up.

All right, three. I m
trying to help the movie.

MARK:
What's going on?

KRISTA:
You tell me.

MARK: Uh...

KRISTA:
I m not hearing good things
Mark. Everything was swell.

And now I m getting
reports that you are

distracted, tired, grumpy.

Are you still
fighting with that girl?

Tracy.

Whatever.

No. Things are great.

If she fucks this movie up,
I m going to go over there

and dump her ass for you.

KRISTA:
Are you an artist?

What?

Artists don't compromise, and
they don't let themselves get

bogged down in petty bullshit.

They focus on their
job, and they create.

Make-up!

Does my body turn you on?

It just feels so weird to have
been with someone for so long

and, and to not...feel wanted.

Aren't you
supposed to feel wanted?

Yes.

What does that feel
like? Have you felt it?

Yes.

Was it nice?

SEBASTIAN:
It was...inspiring.

What did it inspire you to do?

Everything. Anything.

Sherri?

Why would she do that?
It just, it makes no sense.

You're so wonderful, and
it just so doesn t matter.

It s life. You'll learn.

The older you get, the
less people make sense.

That s bull.
What do you know?

Who was the last person
that you talked to besides me?

Maybe you should
put some clothes on.

Why? Do I threaten you?
Do you not like a woman s body?

I m going to get changed.

Tracy, I have no explanation
for the way people love,

or who they love or
why they love them.

And I m sorry that
your boyfriend is gay,

but don't take it out on me.
I know how much it hurts.

Look at me.
Don't you think I know?

[mosquito and cricket sounds]

♪light piano music plays

SEBASTIAN:
Uh...Nnn...

SEBASTIAN:
No, stop. This, this,
this isn't what you want.

TRACY:
Yes. Yes, I do want you.

TRACY:
Don't go.
I want this. You need this.

SEBASTIAN: Stop.

Don't you see? I don't
care. I think you're beautiful.

SEBASTIAN: Stop!

Just get out of my
house! Just get out!

[dog barking sounds]

[footstep sounds moving away]

[bird chirping sounds]

MARK:
Oh, Tracy. Tracy. Tracy.

Oh God, are you okay?

TRACY:
I had nowhere else to go.

What happened?

I didn t have anything.
I need my phone, my keys.

Where have you been?

I need my stuff.

Where have
you been, Tracy?
None of
your business.

TRACY:
And that s pretty
much it. I m coming home.

Sorry to make you
lose your bet, Leesh.

ALICIA:
I can't believe it.

ALICIA:
Stop that, honey, not now.

ALICIA:
I just wish I could
hug you right now.

Well, give me two
days and you can.

[louder clanging sounds]

ALICIA:
Oliver! Stop it.
Oliv...Stop it.

Listen to me. Don't come back.
[clanging sounds]

ALICIA:
Give mommy that pot.

You want to come back
here and end up like me?

I don't think so.

OLIVER: Roar!

Look, maybe you've got nothing,
but I, I d rather have nothing

in Los Angeles
than nothing here.

Yeah, I guess. I ll, I ll
figure it out. Thanks, Leesh.

♪uplifting music plays

LUANN:
Ooh, that trouser
snake. What did he do?

TRACY: Nothing.

LUANN:
This is my area of expertise.

TRACY:
I m, I m sorry. I, I just can't.

I just really
need a place to live.

It s not about where you live.

It s about what
you do in this life.

Do no harm. Do listen
to your innermost self.

Do whatever strikes
your fancy. Just do, Tracy.

Yeah, thanks. Um, I really
just need a place to live.

I don't have
anywhere else to go.

I slept on the patio last night.

The patio?

Mm-hm.

Make him move.

Yeah. He thought I was
staying someplace else, and...

The last few days
have just been really weird.

LUANN:
Oh you sly foxess. Who is he?

No, no, no. It s not like that.

Come on, you
can tell Luann. Come on.

I wasn t cheating.
We re just friends, but um,

I ve been spending a little
bit of time at Sebastian s.

What?
My Sebastian?

Yeah.

[dog barking sounds]

[knocking sounds]

Don't shut the door.

Hey. Are you going
back to Wisconsin?

No.

MARK:
Moving in with
your new boyfriend?

I don't have a boyfriend.

Well you've certainly been...

I don't have anyone.

Trace...I m really
sorry about the other day.

I just lost it.

MARK:
Where s all my stuff?

Packed.

LUANN:
There is no way you're
getting your deposit back.

LUANN:
Have you seen any
good movies lately?

No.

Oh that s a shame
'cause there are some

very, very good
ones out there.

You look really familiar.

I met you seven years
ago when you moved in.

No, I mean, besides that.

Are you from Miami?

Not again Pooch.

You're Mitzi.

From My Pal Pooch.

That s right, baby, I am.

Wow. I loved that show.

Yeah?

I think that s everything.

Tracy, you mean more to me
than anyone in the whole world.

You're family. And I m going to
do whatever it takes to make

sure we stay close for
the rest of our lives.

You're so full of it.

This is how you treat your
family? For six, six years...

You let me believe...

I gave you
everything that I had,

and all you gave me was lies.

I don't know anything about you.
I m just so embarrassed.

I don't think that
I ll ever get over it.

Do you need any money til
you get a job or something?

Fuck you, Mark.

[footstep sounds moving away]
[door opening and closing sound]

Give me a word, any word.

LUANN:
Just play along.

SEBASTIAN:
Revolting.

Perfect, revolting.
One word. Many shadings.

One. Verb. To renounce
allegiance. Two, also verb.

To be offensive to the taste or
sensibilities of. Because you

Are a revolting
person, you revolt me.

Therefore, I shall
revolt against you.

Tada.

That s impressive. I
think it s time you left.

Have I revolted you?

No. I just think that I ve
reached my quota for human

interaction for the day.

Understood. Has anybody
signed up for tomorrow s slot?

What are you doing here?

Do you want the truth or a lie?

Lie.

The truth is you fascinate me.

I gotta dash.
I ll see you tomorrow?

[landline phone ringing sounds]
[voicemail clicking sounds]

TRACY:
Hi, this is Tracy.
If you want to reach Mark,

TRACY:
you can call his cell.

TRACY:
Or just leave a message for me
at the beep.

[beeping sound]

TRACY S DAD:
Tracy, it s dad again.

TRACY S DAD:
Why aren't you calling me back?
What is going on out there?

TRACY S DAD:
We watched that video of Mark
on the Internet. Is that real?

TRACY S DAD:
Your mom hasn t stopped
crying since she saw it.

TRACY S DAD:
Call me back the
minute you get this.

[beeping sound]

♪dark dramatic music plays

NEWSCASTER:
Celebrity Stalker exclusive.

Actor Mark Lewis in a
leaked gay sex video.

Warning, this is explicit.

[moaning sounds can be heard]

[indistinct voices]

KRISTA:
Can we talk?

What s up?

KRISTA:
I need to know, was this a one
time, I m drunk, it s college,

let s experiment kind of
thing? Or are you whole-hog gay?

Ah, shit. Uh, it was college.

I had no idea he was taping
it. I was just experimenting.

It looks like you knew exactly
what the fuck you were doing,

and it looked like you were
having a good time doing it.

I was on ecstasy.

You can't lie to me.

If we have any hope of
salvaging any kind of career

for you, I need to know
exactly what I m dealing with.

No more surprises.

I m on your side.
I just need to know the truth.

I m gay.

Fuck.

I ve never said
it out loud before.

Well bully for you. Uh,
are there any other tapes?

I don't think so.

Shit. You sound
entirely unconvincing.

Okay, so we re just going to

spin this as a
phase you went through.

You were experimenting after
seeing all sorts of new things

in college, but ultimately,
all it did was help to reaffirm

your complete and
total straightness.

Is that why you
broke up with the girl?

Well, you need
to patch things up.

Yeah, that s not gonna happen.

Do it. I don't care what
you have to do. Do it.

No. I, I can't do that.

What is more
important to you?

Do you want a career as an
actor? Then you're going to have

to patch things up.

What if I just come clean?

I mean, what are they gonna
do, kick me off the movie?

They'd have to start
over. I m gay, so what?

We can just tell the truth.

No, we can't.

Yes, they will fire you.

Why throw good money after bad?

If you're gay, this
movie s dead in the water.

So don't be gay, got it?
Go make up with Tracy.

♪upbeat jazz music plays

Oh my God.

Oh come on. It s still wine.

Okay. But only
because you want me to.

Thank you.

Still don't like this stuff.

Ugh, I don't know.

Stupendous.
Tomorrow, we try beer.

Don't push it.

I m pushing every day, baby.

Stupendous.

I m sorry. Is that
against the rules?

Oh well.

♪upbeat jazz music continues

RICKY:
Hey, hey, Hot
Wings. Long time no see.

Can I get a chicken burrito?

That s it? Where's
the adventurous spirit?

Right.

Um, Megan,
chicken burrito please?

MEGAN:
Chicken burrito, coming up.

[traffic sounds can be heard]

RICKY:
Well, I m glad you came by.

It s nice to say goodbye
to my prettiest customer.

We re shutting the
truck down next week.

What?

You've seen the lines.

Nobody wants our food. We re
losing money hand over fist.

I have tried every food
truck in L.A. Yours is the best.

Well, hipsters have spoken.

That s ridiculous.

MEGAN:
Chicken burrito.

RICKY:
No, Tracy, please.
This one's on me.

[soft crying sounds]

RICKY:
Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, we ll...It s
okay, we ll be fine.

PAULA:
So, you excited about today?
Yeah? I tell you something,

that workout scene
is going to be epic.

You know you're
killing it out there, right?

You know that, right?

Yeah.

Okay, all right, great. Great
work, great work. We ll uh,

see you in a bit.

PATRICK: This sucks.

KRISTA:
Hey, you, hands
off the merchandise.

Are you kidding me?

KRISTA:
I think it s better if you
two weren't seen together,

don't you?

PATRICK:
I think we re on set.

KRISTA:
I don't care. This is how
it has to be. Right Mark?

♪low piano music plays

[traffic sounds
heard in distance]

♪upbeat music fades in

♪upbeat music intensifies

RICKY: Tracy!

RICKY:
You made it to our last day.

TRACY:
Maybe. Maybe not.

I have a business
proposal for you. Can I come in?

♪latin music plays

TRACY:
Yucatan Wisconsin.

Check this out.

Jicama slaw with
dried cranberries. Try it.

Beer-battered brat poc chuc.

Are you kidding me?

Holy. Shit.

TRACY:
Don't close the truck.

Let s rebrand it and
sell really good hybrid food.

We ll call it...

Yucatan-consin.

MEGAN:
That s a terrible fucking name.

Okay, but still.
What do you say?

SEBASTIAN:
I'll see you tomorrow.

LUANN:
Right on.

SEBASTIAN:
Good.

Oh, I almost forgot.
Okay, can I open this?

No.

Right, okay. I finally,
finally found this for you.

What is it?

About fifteen years ago, there
was a movie shooting all around

this neighborhood, and I
was the locations manager.

And what I wanted to do was
give you a taste of the outside,

so, this is sort of like
Google Maps but homemade.

It s beautiful.

There's your house.

LUANN:
You are here.

♪heartwarming music fades in

LUANN:
You are here.

I m afraid.

I know. We re here together.

I m not going
anywhere. It s okay.

♪latin music plays

RICKY:
Here, here, here. Try it. Huh?

TRACY:
Wow, that s amazing.

RICKY: Mm-hmm.

Can we work that into
a mac-and-cheddar dish?

Yeah. Yeah, why don't we
throw in some pork shoulder

and some ancho chiles?

Are they hot? I think a
smoky flavor would be best.

Try it.

♪latin music plays

RICKY: Oh my God.

Your knives are
the worst, seriously.

I know. Working on it.

Mmmmm.

Ew. Ew. Oh, ew.
Yuck. It s bitter.

Yeah, you're
supposed to cook them first.

You're evil.

They're only slightly
bitter after you cook them.

I think they accentuate the
sharpness of the cheddar nicely.

Let s give it a try.

♪latin music plays

If these all work that s seven
mains. That s about right, yeah?

That s perfect.

♪low guitar music plays

[indistinct voices]
[bird chirping sounds]

[cell phone ding and buzz]

♪soft positive music plays

[fast knocking sounds]

SEBASTIAN:
One second. Okay,
it s all clear. Come in.

[door opening sound]

[door closing sound]

Hi.

Hi.

Glad I caught you at home.

How long have you
been working on that line?

About three weeks.

I am the biggest A-hole.

Go on.

I was so selfish.
I should ve never...

No, no you shouldn t have.

So. What can we do
to fix things? Anything?

I pretend it never happened.

Okay. I ll get the wine.

Ha, ha. Okay.

TRACY:
Hey, where d you
put all the empties?

You want to see my painting?

TRACY: Okay...

TRACY:
Wow. It s so realistic.

SEBASTIAN:
Yeah, it s this whole new
technique I m trying out.

What is it?

It s the view from
Luann s bay window.

My Luann?
No. My Luann.

Your Luann?

Yes. Yes indeed.

Oh, you dirty dog.

SEBASTIAN:
I am.

That s great.

SEBASTIAN: Ow.

♪high energy latin music plays

[indistinct voices]

RICKY:
Alright, what s
your name, darling?

MICAH: Micah.

RICKY:
Micah, lovely
name. What do you want?

MEGAN:
Order up for Tiffany.
Tiffany, there you go.

Thank you,
have a good day.

Oh my God. She was so hot.

RICKY:
One Pork Mac, one Poc Chuc!

TRACY:
Pork Mac, Poc Chuc.

RICKY:
Yeah. For Lisa, huh.

TRACY:
For Lisa.
Okay, next.

Are you gay?

MEGAN:
Yeah, that I am.

RICKY:
What do you want?
What's your name my friend?

CONNOR: Connor.

How did you know?

Seriously? Look, anyone who
hits puberty and doesn t know

who they're attracted to is
lying, at least to themselves.

RICKY:
Another Poc Chuc, three all day.

TRACY:
Poc Chuc.

MEGAN:
Adam. I personally
have always known that...

I like women. I don't
like dick. Adam, order up.

Yeah, but dick is so...

MEGAN:
It happens.

♪slow tempo music plays

TRACY: So...

TRACY:
I was thinking of having a
little birthday barbecue for

myself and my friend Sebastian.

It s his birthday too?

No, it s, it s kind of
his coming out party.

He s not gay, he just,
he just doesn t get out much.

Are you sure you want
to cook on your day off?

Yeah. For him. And for you.

♪soft jazz music plays

RICKY:
Two hundred and forty
dollars more than last night.

RICKY:
And we owe it all
to you...Hot Wings.

Am I ever going
to live that down?

To Tracy.

RICKY: You okay?

I m great.

♪soft jazz music plays

TRACY:
To Mexi-Consin. Who knew
they'd go together so well?

You did.

♪soft jazz music plays

RICKY:
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
We should clean up first. Wait.

It s clean enough.

♪soft jazz music plays

[glass clinking sound]

♪soft jazz music plays

RICKY:
Are you going to
be able to walk...

[glass sounds]

♪upbeat music plays

[traffic sounds]
[bird chirping sounds]

LUANN:
Are you going to be
sufficiently able to do this?

SEBASTIAN:
It s time already?

Yes. I m gonna be
tardy, and so will you.

If you want, I can always swing
by here on my way to Tracy s.

Lu, I ll meet you there.

Okay.

I mapped it, and it s
close, so I m going to print off

directions and walk and then...

Mm-hm.
You're sure?

I can do this.

You can do this. You can do this
because you're a stalwart man.

I m a scared man.

I know. But it s gonna be okay.

Trust me.

Mm-hmm.

TRACY:
I swear, every year, no matter
where I am, my birthday s always

the hottest day of the year.

RICKY: Mmm.

MEGAN:
You okay?

Yeah. I m good, I m
great. How s the grill?

It s clean, it s
hot, it s ready to go.

Awesome.
Yeah.

MARK: Uh, hi.

I m sorry. I didn t
realize. This is a bad time?

RICKY:
No, no, no. Sebastian, it s
Ricky. It s nice to meet you.

What are you doing here?

I wanted to see you.

Why?

It s your birthday. I uh...

RICKY:
Uh, should we...

TRACY: No.

Do you mind,
just like, five minutes?

I mind.

Come on, Trace.
Just give me a chance.

You got something
to say? Say it.

Talk to me. For once.

This is stupid.

I m leaving.

See ya.

[hollow metal clang sound]

MARK:
Fuck. Fine.

MARK:
I get it. I m gay, I...and
I really didn t want that.

But it s just true.

We both knew it.

Makes me sick
how I treated you.

I just uh,

I don't know, um...
I'm really sorry about it.

That s all.

Mark, wait.

I loved you.

I made a lot of really bad
decisions because of that.

RICKY:
Hey Megan, let s go.

That was
embarrassing. Is he uh...

Oh you know...I don't know.

He s really good-looking.

I know, right.

TRACY:
Can I open it?

[paper ripping sounds]

Mark...you broke my heart.

I...I...
I...um...

I can't hold who
you are against you.

At least not forever.

Maybe for a little while.

Well, will you call me
when you're getting close?

Yeah, totally.

Thanks Tracy.

TOMAS:
Hey. What's up, movie star?

MARK:
Hi. Is Jonathan home?

JONATHAN:
You sure you want to do this?

Cause up til this point, the
public will believe whatever you

tell them.
But if you do the interview...

cross that line, you
cannot come back from it.

You'll be fair?

JONATHAN:
Whatever it s worth, I do
believe the closer you get

to your true self,
the happier you are.

I remember in second grade,

I couldn t stop
staring at Will Hauser,

and I reme...I remember
thinking, I bet this is a crush.

But...
but that doesn t make sense.

[mosquito sounds]
♪soft string music plays

RICKY:
It was really a
good experience.

LUANN:
Hi! Happy birthday,
you gorgeous girl.

Thank you.

I m sorry I m so tardy.

LUANN:
That s for you.

Thank you.
Where s Sebastian?

He s not here?

Hm-mm.

Fudge.

[faint knocking sound]

[mosquito sounds]

Hi.

LUANN:
Next time.
We ll do it next time.

This is the
worst birthday ever.

You've got me.

I can't.

What s up?

Oh Ricky, I mean, you're
just like, the best guy, but...

I know.

But...

I just can't do this.

You're going to
swallow me up.

Well, that sounds like...

I m serious.

I can feel it happening
already, what can I do for him?

How can I make him happy?

Aw, come on.

I like you a lot.

But we re in
business together.

♪soft music plays

That truck is the most
important thing to me.

I can't do both, not right now.

Can we be...colleagues?

Colleagues?

How about friends?

Friends sounds good.

But no slipping.

I promise.

Thank you.

Bye Hot Wings.

Bye.

♪soft happy music

[knocking sounds]

Hey. It s not hoagies,
but I think you'll like it.

Happy birthday.

LUANN: Okay.

Break it up and get your
ass down here. I m famished.

SEBASTIAN:
So what d you bring?

TRACY:
You're going to love this.

SEBASTIAN:
Yeah?

TRACY:
I made um, I made a
German potato salad...

TRACY:
I thought I knew exactly what
my life was going to look like.

Man, was I wrong.

I m twenty-two years old,
and I don't have anything

I ever wanted. But I ve
got me, and I ve got friends,

and that s a pretty good start.

LUANN:
This is so great.

TRACY:
I put, it s a
lemon-basil dressing.

LUANN:
What the...

TRACY:
I know, right.

♪ up tempo music out