All language subtitles for StoryOfAJunkie[ING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

JOHN: Everybody has some kind
of jones here in New York City.

Everybody has something that
they need to do in order

To get through the today.

And if you're like me, you
don't want to hurt anybody,

But I sure would like somebody
to come by who I could

Hustle out of a few bucks.

Then you're sitting
here, you're sick,

You don't know where the
fuck to get some drag.

It's like a chill
you can't shake.

Like an ache you don't
know where it comes from.

It's like a good love affair...
It's nice when it starts,

Then it becomes fucked
just like everything else.

[WATER DRIPPING]

[FOOTSTEPS]

[GASP]

You know, you could stop.

I don't want... it's
just the best part.

Let me enjoy it.

It'll only last
another minute, K?

[SIRENS]

[HONKING]

[YELLING IN SPANISH]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Executive brand.

[YELLING]

[DOOR CREAKING]

[DOG BARKING]

[RUNNING WATER]

Works, works works,
works, works, works.

You need someone works?

Works, works, works,
works, works, works, works.

Man, that stuff must be good.

You guys copping?

Yeah.

Why don't you throw
me over the bag, bro?

No, man.
Are you crazy, man?

I just copped so bad.

I'm shaking like a
motherfucker, bro.

Hey, if I could do
it, I will do it.

I just copped two bags.
Don't hold me, man.

Yo, man.

Look, you know me, right?

If I could do it,
I would do it, man.

Yo, man.
Bag, man.

Bag ain't going to do
nothing to you, bro.

[INAUDIBLE], bro.

[DOG BARKING]

- Hey.
- Hey.

What do you want?

[INAUDIBLE].

I ain't gonna step on you.

What do you want?

Two dimes.

Two dimes?

Only 10 dimes or more.

Cool.

Cool.

[RUNNING WATER]

[SIRENS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC - CHUCK KENTIS, "CHILDREN
OF PARADISE"]

[CHATTER IN SPANISH AND ENGLISH]

Can you speak nicely
or whatever, man?

Get the fuck away.

You going to the
fucking battery, man.

What?

[INAUDIBLE] expect
[INAUDIBLE] shop, bro?

You watch my fucking back.

You make sure the
motherfucker don't leave, man.

Hey, wait.

And one of these fudge bars.

Hey, listen.

Get... get over there.

Come on.
All-

Come on.

All right.
All right.

All right.

Get your hands in your pocket,
and get it right in my eyes.

What?

[INAUDIBLE]

- No.
- Can I get one beer?

Shut up.

You see that?

Keep walking.
All right.

Now turn around
and [INAUDIBLE].

OK.

I'm... I'm gonna hurt you.

All right.

Get the hell out of here.

[FOOTSTEPS RUNNING]

Yeah, everybody was bragging.

Remember, he was bragging?

Oh, yeah.

Look, he had a fight today.

Not him, man. [INAUDIBLE].

And it was about this guy that...

He had his...

He had a pit bull.

It was a pit bull.

Hey, Cisco.

Hey.

What's up, Gringo?

How you been, man?

Oh, fuck all that Gringo shit.

What's going on
with you, brother?

Ah, yeah.

This guy taking off
with everything I had.

Yeah?

That's bad.

Ah, gee, he got ripped of.

Oh, fuck you.

What is it with you guys?

When you people get ripped off,
you don't go back and kick ass?

I mean, what the fuck
is wrong with you guys?

JOHN: When you gonna
go back and kick ass?

CISCO: What's wrong with you?

Even though I don't
believe in fighting,

I don't understand you.

JOHN: What do you mean, "I
don't believe in fighting"?

I got a seven-inch knife
wound on my stomach,

I lost this eye, I've had
two sides of my jaw broken...

But didn't die.

From fighting 15 dudes.

And, you know, I bit one
motherfucker's ear off

And spit it in his face,
because four of them

Were jumping on me.

If I'm right there
and I'm fighting,

I don't mind fighting.

But going back for...
Yeah, the cops were there, too?

The cops were there.
The cops were there.

Fucking $20, $30, you know.

Well, you know,
you say "you" and

"They" and "you guys" and "you
Whiteys can't even fight back."

Shit.

I mean, you know.

You got to show your man...
He's playing with your manhood.

He take your shit away you you
going to just stay there and go

And your not coming back?

He sees you the next day,
he's going to do it again.

What are you guys?

Fucking Dear Abby or something.

Oh, come on.

Get the fuck our of here, man.

Dear, Chico, what should I do?

I'm not giving you a buys, man.

- What?
- Go, man.

- What?
- No buys, man.

No buys.
What?

All right.
All right.

All right.
Go.

Go with somebody,
man, because, yo, man.

I usually do.

You know that, Jimbo.

What am I going to do?

Fight that?

It's easy to do, but
today you didn't do it.

- Yeah, right.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

[INAUDIBLE] fucking guy, man.

I don't understand you.
What's wrong with yous, man?

If you wouldn't be getting
high, none of this shit

Would be happening.
It's stupid, man.

I don't understand.
These people are dumb, man.

And by "people" he thought
I meant just white people,

But I don't mean
just white people,

I'm talking about people
that get high and that shit.

It's not fucking good, man.

Look at him.

[MUSIC - CHUCK KENTIS, "CHILDREN
OF PARADISE"]

Oh, you fucker.

Got a cigarette you could spare?

Could you spare a cigarette?

Sure can.

Thanks.

[TRAFFIC AND STREET NOISES]

All right, you know, it's... I
can always get $10 together,

Panhandle a few bucks, hit up
a friend, collect on a debt.

You know, there's always some
way of getting $10 together.

We got the punk rock
special joints here.

(SINGING) I was a lonely soul,
I had no nobody till I met you.

But you keep me...

Maybe sometimes you
sell your clothes out

On the street or everything.

You know, anything you
can get your hands on,

You sell it or you help a
friend sell something he's got

And he gives you some
of the money from it.

But, I mean, you know, you don't
have to hurt nobody to keep

A drug habit in this city.

[INAUDIBLE] and this is Chelsea.

Yeah, right here.

What do you want?

I got nickels.

I mean, shit, we all do
something we wouldn't

Do to keep our habit together.

Hey, Jose, man, don't
kill my business.

Come here, I got joints.
You got joints?

Yeah, I got joints.

Come here, I got joints.

Come here.

Get me a paper, Jose.

That's all you're
going to smoke?

Yeah.

But can I have a
paper for this guy?

Come on.

[INAUDIBLE].

Jose, come on.

Jose, give me two papers,
one for you and me... hey.

[EXASPERATED NOISE]

Assholes.

You know what's up, too, they'll
find somebody that's clean,

You know, they ain't
got high yet that day,

And they'll have
them test the dope.

[SNAPPING]

Mm.

Sometimes that's
real nice, you know,

Because they don't
know it's really strong

And you get real fucked up.

So how you been?

I been doing all right now.

You know, can't complain really.

Start complaining, nobody
don't want to hear about it.

I ain't seen you at the Y.
You still living down there?

JOHN: I'm sure more than
one dope tester's wound up

On the roof top with the
rats eating at his balls

Because someone sort
of didn't cut it right.

They don't like it.

Oh.

How'd it go?

Well, we'll find out
in a minute, ladies.

It's hot as hell, though.

It don't look like
it's coming too fast.

No, not really, because it's
getting cold now, you know?

Summertime is all
right, you know?

But now it's getting
kind of cold,

It's gonna be kind of hard.

Mm-hm.

[BAGS CRINKLING]

Not too full?

[INAUDIBLE].

Just bag.

No, just bag.

No.

No.

Here, you just bag this.

Just bag those.

OK.

Get one more boot and come
on out of this joint here.

OK.

This ain't what you
call a midnight snack.

Nine, ten.

That's a bundle.

JOHN: In this one apartment,
there's $100,000 worth of drugs

Going down, and they
got these chicks

Bagging up dope and running
it up to the corners.

That's really, like, you
know, a quality control.

[HUMMING]

I got nice [INAUDIBLE]
so far so good, man.

Dope tastes really nice.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Nice [INAUDIBLE]
here, too, you know?

He said it's all right.

Enjoy.

OK.

I appreciate that, man.

LADY BAGGER: You want
to be paid in cash

Or just take a
couple of lines, man?

[SNIFFING]

Yeah.

LADY BAGGER: Yeah, well,
this is good stuff,

So it can hold, you
know, like a decent cut.

[CHATTER]

You put a 1 or a 2 on it?

Oh, no.

You can put more than that
on this side right here.

No, on this side right
here, you can put more.

Three or four.

Yeah, definitely.

You know, like,
it took me an hour.

First of all, I had to wait
an hour in line to cop.

There was, like,
a million people.

What?
An hour?

Well, come on.
I mean, it was, like, you know...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was a long time.

I finally cop, and all of a
sudden, [INAUDIBLE], red light,

You know?

So they make us... they make
us sit there, you know?

They say, everybody crouch down.

Don't say a word.

So we're sitting there.

Well, I'm glad I didn't go.

Well, I know.

That's why I never
want you to go, baby.

You know that.

You know I always
go cop for you.

But anyway, so then so
we're all crouched down

Waiting in this spot, running,
seriously, like, at least 15

Minutes waiting while they said
the police are right out front,

Don't nobody move.

And so we're sitting here.

And then I said fine.

Fuck it, you know.

I'm going to try
to get out of here,

Because, like, I already
have the dope on me

Stashed in my pants.

So there's this guy up
on the second floor,

And, like, there's
no steps going up.

So, like, he had to
pull me up, you know.

And, like, there was,
like, a hole going down

To the basement and
all these broken glass

And tin cans and rats.

Right.

So he's pulling me up.

I'm scared of heights,
as you know, anyway.

So, like, he pulls me up,
I ran through the... run

Through the building,
go out a window,

Have to hop over an air shaft
right through another abandoned

Building, down a fire escape,
over three fucking barbed wire

Fences, and on the third
fence, these dogs were chasing

Me and biting at my legs, man.

I fucking hop over, right?

Go around through, come out the
other end, like, I don't know.

Totally fucking destroyed
my body, you know.

Like, all banged
and scratched up.

I come out and the
police are gone.

The police are gone and people
are going back in the place

Again.
Already?

- Right.
- Two seconds later.

Right.
Right.

Right.
In, like, two minutes.

That figures.
It figures.

Like, if I had waited
two more minutes,

I wouldn't have had
to go through all

This fucking bullshit.

[MUSIC - CHUCK KENTIS, "CHILDREN
OF PARADISE"]

[INAUDIBLE] true blue.

[INAUDIBLE] works.

Works.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Works, works.

I need works.

Excuse me.
You can't hand out here.

I'm waiting for
somebody, sweetheart.

I'm sorry, but
you got to hang out

Across the street somewhere.

- Across the street?
- Yeah.

I'm standing right here.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry.

You know, we're
conducting business here.

You got to hand out down...

Your business is
inside, and I'm waiting

For my man to come out...

I'm sorry.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

Excuse me?

Go ahead.

You cannot hang out here, babe.

Go ahead.

Give me some of that, man.

It wasn't all... it wasn't
all that hot [INAUDIBLE].

It wasn't all that hot.
No.

No hanging out here.

Excuse me?

No hanging out.

You're going to get sick, man.

No, where we going?

Where we going?

Hey, hey, there's
your line, brother.

You know...

None of that bullshit, OK?

Take your time.
You're getting it.

That's all.

Everybody's waiting
in fucking line.

- Hey, who's breaking the line?
- Yo, man.

We ain't going no place.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

Yeah, right.

Everybody straight out.

You can go in.

[KNOCKING]

Money straight out
if you want to cop.

C and D. Coke and Dope.

I just got two...
Three bags, man.

OK.

[INAUDIBLE].

Come on, man, you got
to move faster than that.

Yo.
Yo.

Yo.

Move the line up.

Move the line up.

Yeah.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

Three and one.

Three and one.

DRUG DEALER: Sometimes I
think, like, what would it

Be like if we didn't have dope?

I don't think there would
be a Lower East Side.

I don't think, you know,
that we would survive,

Because they would be...
Everybody would be on welfare,

You know?

The city would go
down the drain.

The dope money has a lot to do
with the economy of the city,

Because it does bring in a lot
of money from different states.

You know, a lot of people
come up from Connecticut,

Pennsylvania, Jersey, all heavy
and they leave a lot of money

Down here.

OK?

It's a hot night out here,
and I ain't feeling that good.

Come on, next.

Make that snappy.

Yo, man, I got people waiting.

Move.
Go ahead.

Come on, let's go.
Come on.

All right.

I've got two people
in line, man.

Hey, yo, hold it
right there man.

Stay right there.

Yo, have your
money straight out.

DRUG DEALER: A lot of kids who
go on and try to get a job,

There's too many kids
and too little jobs.

So if a guy come along
offering a job in a dope

Spot making $200, $300
a week at a young age.

You know, as you get
older, salary goes up.

They start wearing nice
clothes, you know, jewelry.

They see that they can
get just about anything

They want in the neighborhood.

Maybe they'll shoot a
guy, get a little respect.

Then for them, that's it.

Some kids, if they're
smart, they'll

Work they way from
watching to bodyguard

Where they bodyguard the
person selling, and to manager.

Once they become a manager,
they could branch off

And boss'll open up another spot
and they'll receive a percent,

Like, maybe 50%, 75%.

Someone lives out in
the suburbs will never

See the money that we see.

You could sell 20 bundles,
a hundred bags in a bundle,

That's, like, $20,000 a day.

Yeah.

What you want?

I need two coke.

Next.

Can I get two and one?

Yo.

Puerto Rico.

DRUG DEALER: You have people
come in here with $400, $500

Every day, the same people.

Ten dope.

DRUG DEALER: That
means that they're

Spending, like, $3,000 a week.

Some kids start
off as early as 20

Thinking about retiring by
the time they're 29, 30.

I know a few guys that have
gone to Puerto Rico with half

To million, a million dollars.

A lot of them don't make it.

A lot of them get hooked, spend
most of the money they save.

And they don't
have anyone that'll

Back them up or care for them.

They'll just wind
up in the gutter.

Get these bags together.

Some of them have
been millionaires

Twice, three times, and lost it
all till they got to the point

Where they don't care anymore.

You know, like they lost it all.

So they'll just resort to
shooting drugs and shooting

Drugs and shooting drugs.

Hey.

[WHISTLING]

[HONKING]

JOHN: You know, the
brand names are funny.

They'll usually from hip
movies at the time, like "Black"

Sunday" and "ET" and Mr. T.,
a dope brand and say, Paco,

Or Flaco, or wherever, you
know, the head dope guy for such

And such a label.

You know, he buys it at the
same place as the other guys,

And they all may go
to the same factory

And say, put my stamp on this,
and put a one and a half step

On it.

And that means that for,
like, every gram of heroin,

There's a gram
and a half of cut,

And that's how you get
the different grade

Of dope on the street.

And then all of a sudden, boom,
they'll say, put a three on it.

And then they'll put it out
on the street and sell it.

It ain't beat, but
it takes you three

Bags to get straight instead
of, you know, one and a half

Or two.
Move, move, move.

Cindy.

Let's go.

Move on.

Come on.

God dammit, let's go.

Move it, move it, move it.

Cindy.

You want some, homeboy?

I got some [INAUDIBLE].

C and D.

All right, let's go.

Green light, green
light, green light.

Let's go.

Come on, move it, boys.

Come on, let's go.

Yo, buddy.

- What's happening, man?
- Yo.

Yo.
What's happening, man?

Ain't you the one that stuck
up the First National Bank, man?

No?
No?

Yeah.

C and D.

I ought to turn you in for
the reward money, buddy.

- What's up?
- C and D.

Hey, old boy.

Right.

All right.

What's up, man?

What's happening?

C and D. C and D.
C and D. C and D.

What's up, Cool?

Yeah, why not.

C and D.

They good, right?

Take care of them, boy.
What's happening, man?

What's happening?

What's happening?

What's up, Jesus Christ?

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Yellow Mellow, Yellow
Mellow, Yellow Mellow.

[HORN HONKING]

Hey, que paso?

What's happening?

Listen, man, you and Jesus gave
me some shit about you selling

To some dummies out here.
Yo, man-

And beating customers.

I don't play that shit, man.

I don't play that.

Yo, I didn't do that.

Yo, yo, what about
putting your shit out

On the street instead of ours?

Man, you're talking out
of your fucking face, man.

I don't fuck with
nobody's product.

Hey, fuck you, fatty.

Hey, fuck you, too, man.

What the fuck does he
have to do with us, man?

- Watch your mouth.
- Listen, man...

He's... he's getting
greedy is what it is, man.

You're a motherfucker.

You're the one who's
getting greedy.

I ain't getting greedy, man.

He don't got nothing
to do with us, man.

He's just coming
out of his face.

We don't want you here, we
don't want you in this spot.

We don't want you at all.

[GUNSHOTS]

Come on, come on.

Shit.

You got a cigarette?

Sure.

Thanks, man.

[DOGS BARKING]

[KNOCKING]

JOHN: Suzanne.

Suzanne.

JOHN: Hey, Suzanne, it's me.

It's John.

Shit.

JOHN: Open the door.

It's 4 o'clock in the morning.

JOHN: [INAUDIBLE].

I got time to [INAUDIBLE].

Just come in for a bit.

Shut up.

You're waking everybody up.

JOHN: I need to hold
on to a few bucks.

I already lent you money.

You never paid me back.

JOHN: Come on, I've
done you plenty.

Dammit, go take a walk.

Check this out, [INAUDIBLE].

[INAUDIBLE] motherfucker.

Man, check this out.

The other day I came here,
man, I bought some dope,

And the shit was cut
with meat tenderizer man.

That's your business.

Hey, I bought it
right here, man.

I don't want no money
back or nothing.

[INAUDIBLE]
fucker, [INAUDIBLE].

Oh.

[GASPING]

Oh, shit.

[GASPING]

[SIRENS]

[POLICE RADIO]

POLICE DISPATCH: Here
we go, 4 George 6 Adam

Larry 5784 David Eddy 840986.

OK.

He is my brother, then.

No.

And I... he's
involved with drugs.

We will find out about
it, but we would like

To know who the fuck did it.

Now, excuse my
language there, ma'am,

But, like, that's what it is.

You know, when you live
in the Lower East Side,

That's the way it is.

Eventually you find out.

Everybody out here
fucks up with everything,

You know what I'm saying?

The best thing to do is,
you know, you gotta be cool.

But when it comes
to brothers, man,

You know, and they know
that these guys are

My brother-in-laws, they
know, you know, who we are,

You know, we don't
fuck with nobody,

They shouldn't be
messing with us.

Now, whatever he did is,
you know, between him.

But we would like the
find out who did it.

Now, if it's for drugs,
then we'd like to know.

You know, now, the
best thing I did

Was to get in touch with
the family, you know?

And once the family so, yo, we
gotta do this, we got to do it.

You know?

I wish I knew who did it.

But, like they say, drugs
lead you to your death,

You know what I'm saying?

Sometimes you got it,
sometimes you don't.

You don't have it, you
find a way of getting it.

JOHN: Heroin is
a cruel mistress.

A voodoo overseer, man.

It wakes you up early in the
morning, it takes you out,

It makes you do things
you would never do.

And, well, you just
don't have time

To worry about
other things, things

That maybe you should
be worrying about.

Facing reality, sometimes,
is a hard thing to do.

What's really sad is, like,
the kids that come down to cop.

You know, they got nothing.

Shaking their
lives up, you know.

You know that now, but...

The cops get...

JOHN: But it's
amazing, you know.

These young white
chicks, you know,

They go into this building
with $100 and they're straight,

You know.

They don't want to go out
on the street and cop.

You know, you can get your
throat slit out there.

They'll come down, buy the
guy so dope for himself

And some dope for them
and send them out.

And then they'll sit there
and they'll get high,

You know, the guys will have
the works and everything.

Oh, yeah.

Up it, puppet.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[INAUDIBLE] been
on your string.

Not OK.

I'll tell you, you
always get loose when

There's girls around you, girl.

Huh?

I know.

JOHN: So the kids wind up
using these shitty works,

You know, that who knows
who's used these things.

And that's how these diseases
get transferred, you know.

I've been going in this
vein too much lately.

You know, this is
really [INAUDIBLE].

That's coming up slow.

Now that you can
smoke a Marlboro, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, man, what am I doing?

I got a vein right here.

What's going [INAUDIBLE] that
vein's got you [INAUDIBLE].

I'm having a hard time
hitting myself [INAUDIBLE].

You think you can get me off?

Mm-hm.

Yeah, you think
you can handle it?

That's not... my
veins... my veins are...

Huh?

I have shallow veins.

All right, just tie your...

I used to get off an awful lot.

I was looking for...

Man, this is really...

Susan, you got any...

And now I just get high,
like, once or twice a week.

And I'm having a
lot of hard times.

As you can see, I've been
making a lot of whole.

So you're going to
have to take a ride down

There, because his
boss doesn't usually

Put phone calls through.

I was just had... I seen,
you know, like one thing.

A girlfriend and
this... a girlfriend

Of mines and her old man,
they were arguing over drugs.

- It's crazy.
- But it's stupid.

It's not worth it.

Yeah.

Who's doing more and all that.

And... right.

And who's holding this
and who's holding that.

You know what I mean? [SPANISH],
in other words, let go.

[SPANISH], I love it.

And I, you know, really
getting sick of it, you know?

You can't fool with...

Even when my old man says...
You know, he gets... he hates.

You know, sometimes you'll
be arguing over stupid shit,

You know?

It's really,
really shitty, man.

I know.
It's a drag.

It's no good, man.

Just want to just clean up
this shit, start working...

- Hey, like I said...
- I used to fight with my lover.

We used to do the same thing.

It's like, you know,
we used to fight over

Who was going to get off first.

Yeah, but it's...

You're always saying, I'm
right, I'm right, I'm right,

And you're going to stop
and you're going to stop.

That's good.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

The first thing you think if
when you get up in the mornings

Is where you're going
to get your first shot.

No, not really.

But I feel this way
about having my...

You wake up sick every morning.

Well, that's true.

You get to the bathroom,
10, 20 minutes, half an hour.

And then you got to
cut that shit out.

You get jobs, you know.

Hey.

Hey, it's better than
doing what you're doing.

It's a start, you know.

Put a gun in my hands...

It's a start.

No, no.

Everybody's got
to start somewhere.

That's bullshit.

That's bullshit.

No.

The first... the first
step, man, if you want...

Every day you get up,
you gotta say, where

Am I going to eat today, right?

Where am I going to
get the money to eat?

You know how many days
we've gone hungry, right?

All we've worried
about is getting off?

Getting our fix.

Because we were sick.

How many times do I say
to her, fuck the dope?

Buy a pack of cigarettes.

Miss perfect.

Oh, far from it.

Oh, Miss Perfect.

Far from it, that's for sure.

OK, baby.

But at least I'll by
cigarettes and shit.

OK.

At least I buy cigarettes,
too And I'll eat, too, OK?

When I have it.

When I have it.

You might don't be here.

How much money do you
have on you right now?

You understand?
How much money I got on me?

Weren't you ever at
the point she's at now?

He has money.

What he has, I got.

No.
No.

No?
Ever in your life?

No.

Cigarettes are very
important to me.

No.

You never got to the
point where you'd leave

Yourself short cigarettes...

No.
No.

To go get some dope?

Well, I'm happy for you.

No.

No.

Give me... let me
get two dopes, man.

You got tracks?

Yeah.

Yeah, I've got tracks.

You want to see my tracks?
Yeah.

Let me wee your tracks.
You want to see them?

Yeah.

All right.

Give me one.

It's good, huh?

Tell me it's good.
Yeah.

That's the toilet.

That's the best.

I've seen both real nice, huh?

Oh, yeah.

You'll like that.
All right.

Thanks a lot.
OK.

Don't OD now.

I won't.

Got that D. Got
that D. Hold it.

You know we got something.

What you want?

What you want?

What you want?

Some of both.

Some of both?

Only got D.

- Only got some D left.
- Only got D?

Let me see some tracks.

You got some tracks, man?

I got tracks all over
the fucking place.

What the fuck is with you?

All right.

You see me around.

What the hell is with you?

All right.

I seen you around.

How many you want to get?

Give me two D.

Two Ds.

You got it.

Thank you, [INAUDIBLE].

All right.

Don't OD now, all right?

Shit.

Yeah, I couldn't OD
on this cheap fucking

Dope you got for all the
fucking rice in China.

Oh, watch that guy, Eddie.

He don't look right.

[SPITTING]

JOHN: Heroin is like...
Well, first of all,

It's a treasure hunt.

You know, you got
to find the money.

You know, and then
it's the adventure,

Going through the
jungle or the war zone.

And, you know, then
it's finding the drugs

And finding good drugs.

[SIRENS]

You know, it's dodging the cops
and the thrill of the chase

And the thrill of the
hunt for the dope.

It's the satisfaction and relief
once you get something good,

You know.

That's always the
end result, natch.

Then it's the satisfaction and
the relief of getting high.

[STREET NOISES]

DRUG USER: Everybody need drugs.

Everybody live on drugs.

Main... main... main base of the
thing, everybody... everybody

Can't stop messing with drugs.

I like drugs.

I like to deal with drugs.

I sell works to get my drugs.

And me, I love... I love
drugs, mainly cocaine.

Cocaine's a beautiful thing
when you're getting high off it.

And mainly when you're getting
high off it and it's beautiful.

I love it and I like it and
I will never stop using it.

It's always beautiful to
deal with... deal with drugs.

Cocaine is my main hobby.

I will never... I will never deal
with nothing else but cocaine

And believe me, it's beautiful.

I can never stop using it.

And I will always keep
using it as long as I can.

And it's like a lovely,
beautiful thing to me.

And I'm sorry that I
started messing with drugs

And I would always... I would
always will mess with drugs

As long as I like to.

Very much so.

Cocaine's a beautiful drug.

I like it and I love it and
I will always stick by it.

I will always deal with it.

Mainly I... I have
sold works for them.

For so many period of
months to get my drugs

And build my habit
up and my needs,

My need for that bag of coke
that everybody love and like.

Mainly I love it.

I can never stop using it.

I would always use it.

I would always need it.

JOHN: You know, for most
of the people down there,

It's a pretty shitty place.

You know, they're living
on Fruit Loops and pizza.

When you're high on dope,
it's like I don't know,

I guess, well, I
hope some day I get

Out of this fucking hell hole.

I'll tell you, you know, I never
thought about death so much.

But it's really become a part
of my life, and nothing matters.

The only thing that
matters is feeling

Good, and the only time I feel
good is when I'm really stoned.

And most of the time these
motherfuckers won't let you

Feel good.

They'll just give you
enough to get you straight.

You get beat.

It's just part of
the game, you know.

You got to take it with
a grain of salt. Fuck,

If I'd gotten in an uproar
over every time I got beat,

I'd be dead a long time ago.

You know, maybe someday I'll
get off this merry-go-round

And I'll find
something else to do.

Hi, Diane?

Yeah, it's Space.

Listen, I want to stop
by for a minute, OK?

Thanks.

I'll be right by.

A couple of more, man.

Ow.

That's nice.

Anyways, this chick at the
pit, she's a weird number.

She's got... she's got his
necklace around her neck

With a... it's like a
heart with a skull on it,

And inside it is cyanide.

That's weird.

Hi, guy.

Yeah.

I was... I was reading
up on these tarantulas,

And they got eight eyes.

And if they lose legs,
they can regenerate them.

You know, they shed
their skins every year.

They just come right
out of it, and they

Look... leave skins that are
exactly like the tarantulas.

You, like, wake
up in the morning,

And the next thing you
know, it looks like you've

Got two of them in there.

Ha.

You now.

And mice are really aware
of what you're doing

For them with the tarantulas.

Because the fuckers
are really boring.

They have no, like,
emotions or response.

They don't like,
you know, they don't

Even know you're feeding them.

They have no idea
what's going on at all.

Yeah.

The best thing
about having spiders

Is that you feed them crickets,
and, like, for a couple of days

You get to listen
to the crickets.

You sound like you're
in the country.

That's The only
really good thing.

Oh, let me try this one.

DIANE: Come here.
[SQUEAK]

You know what you are?

Come on, don't go in there.

All right, do go in there.

Come out this way.

This little mouse
thinks he's a rat still.

I have got to get
some new works.

DIANE: Yeah.

These things are like a nail.

DIANE: Yeah, well, typical.

Yeah, I've been
feeding the rats,

Like, beans and peas and stuff.

And the mice.

And they really
like them, you know.

You don't have to just
buy this food if you give

Them, like, dried vegetables.

You know, they eat
that just as much.

It's pretty interesting.

Wow, good stuff.

Rat pellets.

JOHN: They'll still be
here when we're all gone.

Well, rats don't live long.

JOHN: Yeah, but, like
during the Cuban Crisis

When I was 10 years
old, I had all

These nightmares of atomic war.

DIANE: Sure.

Those were the days of
hide under your desk.

You know, like that's going
to do some good, you know,

When they drop an atomic bomb.

JOHN: And there's nothing
that's really stimulating

To kids today except for
the fear of, you know,

Out-and-out war.

DIANE: Oh, Ratso's...
Now see, these

Guys are much more intelligent.

They know what's happening.

Come on, Ratso.

See, this one's all fat, see?

One skinny one and one fat one.

It's like I went to the nuclear
demonstration on June 12,

And there was all
kinds of people there.

And there was even
punks, you know?

And it's, like, really good to
see that the young people that

Are interested will occasionally
come out and do actions,

You know?
Because...

JOHN: Sure.

It seems to be an incredible
waste of time, you know, that,

Like, you know, guys
go around with shirts

That say "New York
Rules" and "DC Rules"

And "LA Rules," you know?

But where it's at is
that no one rules.

JOHN: Right.

You know, people
are conditioned

To look for the
differences, you know,

In between people and not to
realize that they should be,

Like, working together.

JOHN: Well, the
only thing that's

Going to wake them up is if the
youth of America is threatened.

And if they're threatened,
like the youth was threatened

During the Vietnam War,
then there will be,

You know, an overall
consciousness again.

DIANE: If you go to school and
you realize that you're going

To come out and you're
going to make $3 an hour

And it's not going
to pay your rent

And it's not going to
buy you food, you know,

That's a distinct threat on
your consciousness, you know.

JOHN: The poor kids
go into service.

It's not contained to
poor blacks anymore.

It's, you know, it's
all the poor people.

They go into the
service just like

In an underdeveloped country.

DIANE: It's not that many kids
going into the Army, you know.

JOHN: It's plenty of them.

Poor kids are all
going into the Army.

It's the best thing
they could do.

It gives them... it
gives them experience,

It gives them training,
it gives them money,

It gives them everything.

When they come out,
they can get any kind

Of fucking loan they want to.

They're covered medically.

You know, everything is
covered for them after they

Get out of the fucking service.

You know, me, I'm stuck.

I never went into the Army.

DIANE: How many people
have you met [INAUDIBLE]

Gone into the service?

I never even talked
to the motherfuckers

About nothing, man.

I'm an anarchist.

I never fucking
filed income tax.

I ain't done shit with
these motherfuckers.

You know, I don't want
to talk to them about.

When they said I had
amnesty, all I had to do...

DIANE: How are you
going to get married?

Is go down an
salute the flag.

You know?

I didn't do it.

I don't want nothing to
do with them, you know?

DIANE: How are you going to get
married without identification,

Spacely?
I have identification now.

DIANE: Oh, that's good.

I just sent for my
birth certificate,

But it's the first time
I've had ID in 12 years.

[MUSIC - CHUCK KENTIS, "CHILDREN
OF PARADISE"]

When I was 15, I picked up
this 31-year-old hooker.

You know, she told
me if a woman makes

Too much noise while you're
making love with her,

She's faking it.

And they're either trying
to get you to come fast

Or trying to get you
to tip them more.

I think it's a little bit
of both if it's a whore.

Personally, I haven't had a
woman like her in a long time.

She was really good in bed.

At first, you know, I really
dug her, because, like, what 14,

15-year-old boy gets enough sec?

You know?

But I stayed with her,
like, two or three years.

And then I grew tired
of her, and I wanted

A girl a little bit younger.

And this is about a
year before, you know,

Hendrix and Joplin and
all them people died.

I met... I met JC and John
at the same time together.

I was walking down
Haight Street.

I was about 17.

And me and JC just, like, right
away we turned to each other,

You know.

We both had... you know, we
kind of looked alike, you know?

And, you know, we both
had long brown hair

And wore the same
kind of hippie shit.

You know, patches everywhere.

Patches on our patches.

This is all during the
Vietnam War era, you know.

And we're all radicals
or hippies, you know,

Riot fanatics or something.

You know.

I mean, I wasn't going to
no fucking Vietnam War.

So we all had,
like, an affinity.

We were all against the
government, you know.

Us, the Indians.

Cesar Chavez.

You know, everybody was
kind of like together,

Even though, like, we
had different causes.

It's the same cause, all-in-all.

You know, smash the state.

Anyway STP John was
the leader of the gang.

He got shot while taking
a piss behind this guy...

This speed freak's house.

And on the one-year
anniversary of his death,

Me and JC went out there and
we took a couple of chicks

And a bunch of booze
and got real drunk

And fucked the chicks on
his grave and threw out...

Did everything.

You know, pissed
on the gravestone.

He's dead now, too.

He got blown away in a $5,000
heroine deal about five,

Six years ago.

They found him floating
in a lake in LA.

And I was drunk once
seeing my old girlfriend.

I got there, and she was
there with her new boyfriend.

He had all his friends there.

And so I waited there for about
five minutes, and the guy said,

Well, I think it's
time you leave now.

I said, well, yeah?

Well, fuck you.

I'll stay as long as I want.

This is my ex-girlfriend.

You know, I came to visit.

And all of a sudden
one dude flew at me.

I think it was her boyfriend.

And then his friends
jumped in, too,

And they were, like, jacking me
up in the fireplace, you know?

And this one guy was hitting
me, and it felt real hard,

So I grabbed his fist.

And said, oh, my God.

Fucking brass
knuckles, you know?

So I grabbed him by the
hair and pulled his head

Down and all of a sudden his
ear popped into my mouth,

So I, like, ah.

Bit as hard as I could
and pulled his head back

And spit his ear in his face.

And all this blood came
out and everything.

So detectives came and
everything with the ambulance.

Started asking me,
who did this to you?

Who did this to you?

And I said, get the
fuck out of there.

I spit on one of their faces.

They took me to the
hospital and put

Me into emergency operation.

And the cocksuckers said,
well, he's too high.

So they didn't give me any... no
anesthetic, nothing, you know?

They did two layers of
stitches, like fished all

Around in my stomach
and everything

To see if anything was broken.

Man, you could hear me
screaming for three city blocks.

No fucking shit.

That was, like, some of the most
pain I ever felt in my life.

I mean, it had to be as bad
as having a baby at least.

It was actually two slices.

The guy had sliced
me twice, so there

Was, like, a little piece
of meat in between two...

Both slices.

So they had to cut that slice
of meat of before sewing me up.

And so they cut that
piece of meat off,

And they sewed me up, finally.

Two layers of stitches, mind
you, with no anesthetic.

And after the whole
thing, I said, well,

Can I have the
piece of meat that

Was lying there
on the, you know,

Tray that they put
beside the bed?

Looks like you're going out
to eat at a drive-in diner.

And they said, no.

And I said, how come?

And they said, well,
it's not hygienic.

And I said, what the
fuck you talking about?

That's me.

You know, are you going to
me I can't take me with me?

So the doctors all stepped
out of the room for a minute,

And when they did, I hopped
up off the operating table,

Grabbed the hunk of meat
and stuck it in my pocket.

[HARMONICA MUSIC]

Thanks for it, man.

- OK.
- Hey, take care, baby.

All right, baby.

Take it easy.

Hi.

Oh, what's up?

Oh, geez.

Hope you're [INAUDIBLE].

It's the same as...
[SINGING]

You ever heard of it?

[SINGING]

Yep.

[SINGING]

OK.

It's good every day.

Hey, man.

Every day.

I had it hanging around, man.

Check it out.

See if I could sell it.

Yeah?
You want to sell it?

Yeah.

Move down.

All right.
Yeah.

I figured I'd bring
it out of the house

And get some money for it.

Don't be too long, man.

What's happening, man?

How you doing?

Hey, [INAUDIBLE].

What's up, baby?

Hey, you're good at that, man.

How much you want for it?

$20 bucks, man.

Yeah?

Listen, I'll tell you what...

The man's getting uptight.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you can wait, like,
15 minutes for me to get

Is, because I just
copped and you know

That I can take the money back.

I want it definitely.

[SIRENS]

Hi, is mom there?

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Mom.

How are ya?

Good.

Everything's been
going good with me.

Listen, Mom, you know, it's
been a while since I asked you,

And, like, I'm really put out.

I've gotta come up with my rent.

You know, I got some money
coming to me next week,

But, you know, I need
to have some cash now.

Even a hundred would
make it, you know?

I love you.

You're so sweet.

You always come through
when I need you.

Three or four guys, one
of them was a drag queen,

And I spit on the
street and one of them

Said, you know, got
all indignant and said,

Oh, you tried to spit on me.

And I said, I did not,
you fucking drag queen.

And, you know, words were
exchanged and then, you know,

A couple shoves happened.

And all of a sudden they
whipped out chains and started

Kicking the shit out of me.

You know?

They beat me over my head.

Just kept beating
me and beating me.

And the cops came and, you
know, they stopped everything.

But, you know, what it is,
it's just a scar over the lens,

You know.

If you can see it, it's like
a white cloud, you know.

Can you see it?

Do you see it?

It's like a $5,000 operation.

And what they do,
they use, like,

A laser with a
small little vacuum,

And they go in with
the laser and they

Cut away the scar tissue.

And then they got this little
vacuum that sucks it out,

You know?

It's $6 more to come in.

Come on, man, my...

The money or leave.

Fuck you then, an.

I'm getting out of this...

All right.

Right, you're leaving now.
All right.

All right.

[COUGHING]

I don't know what you
fucking be knocking on my door

Early in the morning
for asking for a spike

And all that dumb shit.

I said I'm sorry.

God damn.

You got a cigarette or two?

You got a cigarette?

[MUSIC - GRANDMASTER FLASH, "THE
MESSAGE"]

Hey, Larry.

Hey.

I wasn't able to get...
I didn't have the money

To get all of them at once,
but I brought you two of these,

The ones you saw that you like.

And this is the style I
was telling you about.

They have the, like, little
red stone in the back.

And it's the same
thing, bro, five each.

OK.

So take these three for now
and I'll bring you the other 90.

OK.

Money.

[MUSIC - GRANDMASTER FLASH, "THE
MESSAGE"]

Well, I knew Cindy since
she was 11 years old.

She was in this gang in
Berkeley called The Red Rockets.

And I was really
in love with her,

And, you, know,
she was, like, very

Cute when she was real young.

And we decided to get
married, which was at the time

A good idea,
because I was drunk.

And one morning, it was about
5:30, 6:00 in the morning,

She woke up and complained
of stomach pains.

I was a little worried, you
know, because she was pregnant.

All of the sudden,
she just aborted.

My only son and heir
came popping out of,

You know, covered in blood.

It was gross.

It was the grossest
thing I ever saw.

You know, I didn't know
what to do, you know?

So I just took... it
looked like a little rat

Fetus or something.

It was just about
this big, you now.

She was only about three
months pregnant, I guess.

And it's very disgusting.

I know it's illegal,
because you're supposed

To report those sort of things.

But I just took the fetus and
I threw it in a plastic trash

Bag, put it out in the garbage.

I mean, I don't know
what to do with it.

You know, what are you going
to do with this little thing?

You know, it's nothing
more than a huge period.

It was weird.

But then after that happened,
then I sent her back to her mom

In Washington state.

A couple weeks later,
her mom called me up

And said that Cindy had been
run over by a logger truck

While riding on the back of a
motorcycle with this other guy.

Then I started shooting
heroine, you know,

Because I had all these
nightmares about the baby,

About her, about how things
could have been different,

I guess.

But, I don't know, maybe it
was just never supposed to be.

I guess it wasn't, was it?

But, I don't know, I always
kind of blamed myself.

And I had horrible nightmares
for at least a couple of years.

I'm pretty much over
the nightmares, but...

This is brown dope.

In other words, it's
made with Nestle's Quik.

Bastards.

God damn, it's so
obviously Nestle Quik.

You can smell the chocolate.

[CHUCKLING]

Ain't that funny?

[YELLING]

[SIRENS]

[TAPPING]

It's sometimes a lot of fun.

I mean, if you can imagine
a movie in our mind.

That's what it's like
when you're really high.

And you could be with
somebody that you love

That's dead and long
gone, but you're

So high right now that they're
right there next to you.

And they're kissing
you like they used

To, laughing like they used to.

And you can see it.

It's right there.

But for some reason,
opium lets you create

Whatever you want in your mind.

[INTENSE MUSIC]

I try.

I'm a bit nervous.

[TAPPING]

[DISCORDANT MUSIC]

Come on.

[COUGHING]

[SPITTING]

You want me to tell you
what it's like to be sick?

Like the worst
flu you never had.

You're tired.

You have no energy.

You sweat a lot when
you're under the covers.

When you're not
under the covers,

Then you freeze and
you're chilling.

It's the worst.

That's why it's better
to quit gradually

And not just stop all at once.

Not cold turkey.

Cut back down to two bags
a day then one bag a day,

Then to Methadone for a few
days and then [INAUDIBLE].

That's it.

I'd be off.

[VOMITING]

[SPITTING]

[PIANO MUSIC]

[HIP HOP PLAYING OVER PIANO
MUSIC]

[MUSIC - DON MCLEAN, "SINCE I
DON'T HAVE YOU"]

[MUSIC - CHUCK KENTIS, "CHILDREN
OF PARADISE"]