All language subtitles for Resident Alien s01e01 Pilot.eng

- Spring.

The birds are singing,
the flowers are blooming,

the sun warms the Earth.

Somewhere.
Not here.

It's 30 degrees out.

It snowed 9 feet last winter,

and four frozen sodas
just exploded in my truck.

Welcome to Patience, Colorado.

- So this is
the "doctor by the lake"

everybody was talking about?

- He's owned the cabin
since 2004.

Comes and stays
for a week at a time.

Until last winter, he came late
December, been here ever since.

- Huh. What is he,
retired or something?

What does he do out here?

- I think he's fishing.

- I am in the middle
of nowhere.

A tiny town three hours
from the nearest city

on roads that are impassable
half the year.

-

- Nobody in their right mind
would live in a place

like this,

unless they have
something to hide.

- Excuse me, sir.
You Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle?

- Yes, that's me.

- Yeah,
I'm Sheriff Mike Thompson.

Everybody calls me Big Black.

- Because of your truck?
- Because of--oh.

Oh, you funny, huh?
You funny?

This here's my deputy,
Liv Baker.

- You can just call me Liv.

Or Deputy--Deputy Liv.

Stupid.

- What can I help you with?

- Well, we had ourselves
a murder in town last night.

You're a doctor.

We need you to come down
and take a look at the body.

- Isn't there a town doctor
who can help you out?

- Yeah, well, see,
that's the thing.

The victim is the town
doctor... Doctor.

- Mm.

- When Neil Armstrong
became the first human

to step on their moon,
he said

he wasn't chosen to be first.

It was merely circumstance.

Circumstance put him in the
pilot seat on that mission,

and circumstance pulled me
from the pilot seat on mine.

When I first came to Earth,

I didn't expect to even set
foot on the planet.

Circumstance.

Stranded on an alien planet.

In order to survive
and complete my mission,

I would have to somehow fit
in with the human life forms.

-

Is there someone in here?

-

-

-

-

Ah.
-

-

-

-

- I got news for you, Cosette.

There's no such thing as
hooker-client confidentiality.

-

- I got news for you, Cosette.

-
I got news--Cose...

- I got news for you, Cosette.

- I've got news
for you, Cosette.

- I got news for you, Cosette.

- I've got news for you,
Cosette.

- I got news for you, Cosette.

- I've got news
for you, Cosette.

When my ship crashed,
I lost precious cargo,

a device I need
to complete my mission.

I have to find it
before the snow melts,

or someone else will.

- Put it in my truck.
I'll bring it back.

- I've never been
into town before.

It's just too risky.

Plus, they don't have
a pizza place

and the internet said
that parking was a nightmare.

But here I am.

My first real test.

To say my species is more
advanced than humans

would be a massive
understatement.

If the universe had a scale
for intelligence,

humans would land
right below lizards.

- Well, we're waiting.

- Ah, hello, doctor.
I'm Ben.

I'm the mayor.

Thanks for getting him, Mike.

- I told you to call me
Big Black.

- Yeah.
I'm not comfortable with that.

Thank you so much for coming.

Obviously, we had to close down
the clinic,

which has been
a bit of a problem

since the nearest hospital
is over three hours away.

The body is right down here.

-

I'd say, from the smell,

she's been dead
at least six hours.

- What the mother hell?

- You're not dead.
- Yeah, no shit.

I was sleeping.

- She's not the dead doctor.

He's over there.

- Oh.

- Asta's the nurse.

She's the one who found him
here this morning

when she got to work.
- Mm-hmm.

- I know this is hard
for everyone.

But a grief counselor is coming

to speak
to each and every one of us.

- Oh, yeah.
Good job, snowflake.

Is that coming out
of the town budget,

or is he working for hugs?

- Who are you?
- I'm Harry Vanderspeigle.

I'm a doctor.

Mayor Snowflake had them
bring me down

to look at the dead body.

- Please don't call me that.
- Isn't that your name?

- Pretty much.
- Okay, all right.

So this is Sam Hodges.

He was the town doctor.

Abigail was the doctor's wife.
She's been out of town.

Let me know when she calls.
- You'll know.

I gave her your number.
- What?

- Well, you're the mayor.

And I don't know how to tell
someone their husband died.

- Yeah, give her my number.
I'll tell her he's dead.

I don't give a shit.

- Who was the last person
to see him alive?

- Me.

I left him here alone
probably around 9:00.

When I came in this morning,
he was...

-

- I covered him
with the sheet.

- This... is...

awesome.

- What? What's awesome?

- A good mystery,
figuring out what happened,

like "Law and Order."

Clung-clung!

That was fun.

- Fun?
- Yeah. I know who killed him.

- Who?
- He did.

The angle of the wounds,

the way
the blood is on his hand.

He murdered himself.

- And why in the hell
would he do that?

- I don't know.
I wasn't here.

- All right, look, that's one
creepy son of a bitch, right?

That ain't just me, right?
Y'all all see that, right?

- Yeah, but it's okay
for people to be

a little bit different
sometimes.

- Look at what he did.
What was--what's a chung-chung?

- Can you not talk to me?
- Wait.

Please don't tell me
that you're leaving.

- Okay, I won't.

- Um...

No, but we still
need your help.

- I was asked to come look
at a dead body.

I did that.
Do you have more dead bodies?

- No.
- Then I have to go.

- Wait. You looked at the body
for two seconds.

Look, maybe you're right.
Maybe he killed himself.

But if he didn't, there is
a killer out there, okay?

We need to do an autopsy.

- Do you mean cut into the body

and pull out the organs
autopsy?

- Yeah. Yes, that kind.
Yeah.

The paths got snowed
in last night,

and the coroner won't come
until the roads clear.

But lucky for us,
the man who used

to run the pathology lab
at Rutgers lives in town.

- Well, don't call that guy.
I'll do the autopsy.

- That guy is you, I...

I looked you up.
You ran the lab at Rutgers.

- Of course I ran the lab.
I knew that.

I was making a joke.
I'm a very funny person.

- Okay, good.

Okay, well, I got to go.
But you've got this. Okay?

- We'll get one, right? Max?

-

- Max?

Max! Hey.

Let me in the car.

- How is this possible?

Only 1 in 1 million humans
have the genetic mutation

that enables them to see

through
our molecular reconstruction,

yet somehow in a town
of a thousand people

there is a runny-nosed kid

who can see me
in my true form?

That means there are more
people in this town

who can see me as an alien

than there are slices
of pizza.

Humans have a term for this:

"Bad luck," and "raw deal,"

and "this is some bullshit."

- Why are you standing in here?

- Because I'm assisting you
with the autopsy.

- No, you're not.

You're still standing here.

- Sam Hodges has been my doctor
since I was a kid.

And I'm not going anywhere

until I know
what happened to him.

- Fine.

You can stand there...

and take notes.

- Do I look like
a stenographer?

- Then why are you here?
- 'Cause I don't trust you.

You said he killed himself,
but he would never do that.

- There are multiple cuts
in the neck.

The angle of all of them
is consistent with the cuts

coming from his own hand,

the back of which was covered
in blood but not the palm

because it was clenched
around the scalpel.

- Sounds great.

He didn't kill himself.

- I'm smarter than you.

- What are you, 12?
- Don't feel bad.

It's just a fact.

Once you accept it,
you will stop fighting me.

- You want facts?

Okay, I'll give you two.
Um...

You're kind of a dick.

- That is just one.

- Sam loved his life.

And he would never
kill himself.

And if for some reason he did,

he sure shit
wouldn't stab himself

over and over again
in the front of the neck.

- Okay, you're so smart.

Where would be have
stabbed himself?

- Probably his carotid artery.

- Hmm.

He was a doctor.
If he wanted to kill himself,

he would have sliced
his carotid.

How did I miss that?
I'm smarter than a lizard.

- So you admit he was murdered?
- No.

- Wait, did you just
call me a lizard?

- No.
I compared you to a lizard.

- Okay. We don't have to talk
while we do this.

- Look, I know you really
didn't want to do this.

So I just wanted to say that
I appreciate you helping us.

You--you did a good job.

- You just gave me
a compliment.

- Yeah?

- You know, pandas
are so stupid,

sometimes they don't even
realize they're pregnant.

And when they give birth,
they're like, "What is this?"

And then they kill
their crying babies.

- What?

- I compared you
to a lizard before.

But that's not so bad.
Pandas are really dumb.

- Um, if that was you returning
the compliment,

you should try again.

- I like your brown skin.

- I guess I should quit
while I'm ahead.

I'm gonna go across the street
to The 59

to get a drink
if you want to come.

- I have work to do.
- The autopsy's done.

What work do you have to do
at 8:00 at night?

- I strangled and drowned
a guy four months ago

and I have to search the lake
for his bloated corpse

before some fisherman
finds it.

Just stuff.

- Suit yourself.

Feel free to come by if you
ever stop being a weirdo.

- Weirdo?
That's not good.

Now I have to meet her
over there

and prove to her I fit in,

that I'm normal like them.

But first I'm going
to cut Sam Hodges' brain

out of his head
and squish it in my hands.

This is amazing.

Who's the weirdo now?

- Hi. I'm Abigail Hodges.
Sam's wife.

He's not home.
Is he here?

- Yeah.

- She walked in?

What did you do?

- I put down the brain
to shake her hand.

She ran out.

Her voice goes very loud.

- Jesus!

Sam's first wife
Rosy died years ago.

She was like a mother to me.
God knows I needed one.

This is when you're supposed
to ask me about my childhood.

- Why? I don't care.

- Nobody cares.

That's not the point.

I left home when I was 16,

then I married a biker
in Denver.

Jimmy and I split
four months ago,

which is the reason
I'm buying you dinner.

- Why?

- 'Cause you have
a pick-up truck.

And I was hoping
you could take me tomorrow

to get the rest of my things.

- I'll buy him dinner
for less than that.

- Hi, D'arcy.
This is Harry.

He's a doctor,
and he's new in town.

He's been helping us out.

- Ooh, doctor.

Oh. Oh, shit, right,
'cause of Sam.

I'm so sorry, Asta.
They find out who did it yet?

- Nope. Not yet.

- Why are the walls covered
in old mining equipment?

- You are new, aren't you?
The 59!

all: The 59!

- Died to save one.
Town motto.

Maybe stick around long enough,
you'll find out what it means.

- To The 59.

And to finding the bastard
who killed Sam.

- I'll drink to that.

- Ahh.

-

Wow.
What is that?

- That's our local whiskey.

It's pretty great, right?
- No. It's awful.

-

- Why do I want more?

- That's because you're bad.
You like being bad,

which is great news
because I like bad boys.

-

- Is there more?

-

- All right, man, you're on.

- Yes!
D'arc, D'arc!

Harry, yeah!
- Huh, huh, hah!

all: Shot, shot, shot!

- Harry, Harry.
No, no, no, no.

- You okay to drive home
or you gonna dance home?

- That would be fun
but impractical.

- Hey, pick me up
at the clinic at 10:00?

- Sure.

- Good night, Harry the Doctor.

Harry the Doctor!

- It's over.

I just spent a whole day
with them

and I fit in perfectly.

Nobody could tell
I was different.

Almost nobody.

-

- The answer's simple.

It's nighttime.

I'll just break
into that kid's house

and kill him.

I'll say one thing
about whiskey,

it's allowing me to make
smart, rational decisions.

-

-

-

- Do not make a sound.

That's good.
Don't worry.

I'm not going to hurt you.

I'm just going to kill you.

- Ah!
-

- Oh!
- Max?

Hey, what's going on?

- There's an alien
under the bed!

-

Let's go, sweetie.

- Come on, buddy.
No more stories, okay?

- It's not a story!

- Hey, Max,
I can't do it, okay?

I can't have another night
with no sleep. Let's go.

- No!
- Max, you can sleep with us.

- You don't want to die!
- We're not gonna die, Max.

I'm gonna give you
the count of three. Get down.

- No!

- There's nothing
under the bed. One, two--

both: There you go.

I told you not to let him
watch those movies.

- I watched "E. T."
when I was his age.

-

- It's all right.
Come on.

-

- Whiskey, headache, nausea,

severe dehydration.

Alcohol must not affect humans
the way it does us.

If it did, they obviously
would never drink it.

- What the--the hell
are you doing?

- I just thought
we could listen

to some music or something.

- Music?

Girl, I got your music
right here.

- Shh, shh. Quiet.

- Hot damn!

I thought I'd never
see your face again

after what you did last night.

- You know about last night?

- Yeah, I knew there was
something off about you.

- Sheriff thinks
you took Sam's body.

- Yep, that's right, amigro.

Yeah, you're getting that
twitching, aren't you,

down in your taint?
You know why?

That's your body's way
of telling you you're guilty.

Now why don't you go and admit
what your taint already knows.

You took that doctor's body,
didn't you? Didn't you?

- Of course I took his body.
- What?

- This ain't right.

- What was he supposed to do
after the autopsy?

Put Sam in the freezer
next to the ice cubes?

- I considered that,

but I would have
had to saw him in half.

- Oh, you think
this is funny, huh?

You think this is funny?

Ain't you got no respect
for the dead?

- Of course I do.

- Ms. Twelvetrees?
I'm done with the intake forms.

- Jay, this is
Dr. Vanderspeigle.

He'll be helping us out.
- Hi.

You have a fly on your neck.

- It's a birthmark, douchebag.

- Douche... bag.

- Sorry, Jay is having a hard
time with Sam's murder.

She helps us out at the clinic.

There's not a lot
going on here for kids her age.

Having her work at the clinic
keeps her off the street.

- What's wrong with the street?

-

This town looks like a slice
of Americana,

but trust me,
it has an underbelly.

That's why I help kids
like Jay.

This is it.

Are you coming?

- Yes, in one minute.

- "Douche... bag."

"A small syringe
for douching the vajeena."

Images.

What the hell?

"Taint."

- Hey, you can just put
that stuff in the box.

Some people believe
the buck symbolizes protection

and rebirth.

- Protection from what?

- Everything.

Thank you so much
for helping me.

You okay?
You got it?

All right, thank you.

What are you doing home?

- So this is the new man?
- There's no new man.

We work together at the clinic.
I needed his truck.

- Well, why don't you take
your truck and head home?

Me and Asta got some
catching up to do.

- I don't think that's what
she had in mind.

- It's what I had in mind.

- Harry, just--hey, just go.
It's fine.

We have, actually, a lot
to talk about, right? Right?

And I'll come get
my things tomorrow.

Okay?

- Fine.
- Okay.

Jesus Christ, Jimmy.

- Who is this guy?
- Let's go.

- Keep driving.

Of course she's in danger.

The guy had a skull on his arm

with a snake coming out
of its eye socket.

But she's not your problem.

Your only problem is
you're no closer

to completing the mission
than you were four months ago,

so get focused.

No more stupid moves.

Dammit!

- I'll bring someone home.
How about that?

You think that's
gonna be fun for me?

You want to embarrass me
like that?

You know what
the funny part is?

I actually came here
to forgive you.

And I come home to that.

Four months,
I come home to that.

Where are you going?

Where do you
think you're going?

Get back.
Hey.

- I don't want to talk to you.

- This is the last time,
you understand me?

I told you if you did it again,
this is what would happen.

You're making me look stupid.

- No, you don't need my help.

Let go!

-

- Harry!

Stop.
Stop.

You're killing him.

Harry, Harry, Harry.

Hey, it's not worth it. Okay?
It's not worth it.

-

- Bitch.

-

- You gonna tell me
how you did that?

- Did what?

- You just dragged
a 220-pound man through a wall.

- Yoga.

Why did you want
to come out here?

- I've always been an outsider.

Maybe that's why
I understand you.

- What makes you think
I'm an outsider?

- 'Cause wherever you learned
to do that stuff back there,

it wasn't around here.

You're just different.

I know what that feels like.

Sometimes just feeling human
is alien to me.

- Yeah, me too.

Why would you marry that guy?

- God knows I've asked myself
that question for years.

When I was 16, I got pregnant.

Jimmy convinced me we were
too young to raise a child,

so I--I gave the baby
up for adoption.

Whenever I got sad about it,
he would remind me

in his own special way
that I did the right thing.

I think I felt like,

if I left him...

I gave the baby up for nothing.

One day, four months ago,

I had enough.

I got in my car
and never went back.

- "The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want.

"He maketh me lie down
in green pastures.

"He leadeth me
beside the still waters.

"He restoreth my soul.

He leadeth me in the paths
of righteousness."

- Why is everyone in town
calling my phone

thinking I'm the new
town doctor?

- Well, you know, everyone has
the right to medical care.

And as the mayor,
it's my job to do what's best

for the people of this town.
And then that is to fight

to make sure
that they have a doctor.

Also, I had a standing
4:00 therapy appointment

on Tuesdays with Sam, so...

- And now you want to talk
to me instead?

- Well, yeah, I love Kate
so much,

I just--sometimes
when we're screwing,

I don't want to look her
in the face.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

I'll see you Tuesday.
Okay.

- "I walk through the valley
of the dead...

I will fear no evil."

- I'm really glad you came.

You're kind of a breath
of fresh air in this place.

- "Thy rod and thy staff,
they comfort me."

- Air.

"Thou preparest a table
before me..."

- Where are you going?

- "In the presence
of mine enemies."

- Harry.
Excuse me.

- "Thou anointeth
my head with oil..."

- I'm so sorry.
Excuse me.

- "My cup runneth over."

- Oh, yeah.

That ain't weird at all.

- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Hey, Harry.

- What is he doing?

- He really misses the doctor.

Harry, this is not the time
or the place.

-
Has to be now.

In an hour, he'll be
underground with the worms.

- Mm! So intense.
I like it.

But not for everybody.

- Harry. I'm so sorry.
Keep praying. I'm sorry.

- "Unto thee, O Lord,
do I lift up my soul."

- I know how he died.
- What?

- His windpipe--he needed air.

-

- It's the only thing that
would explain what happened.

He tried to give himself
a tracheotomy.

-

- He couldn't do it in time.

- Yeah.

That makes sense,
but I don't get it.

Why would his throat close up?

- Because Sam Hodges
was poisoned.

And one of the people here
is the murderer.

Clung-clung!

Humans are dangerous.

My people
have always known that.

My mission was simple:

Drop my device onto their
planet and head back home.

I had no intentions of getting
close to any of them.

- Don't you walk away from me!

- Don't tell me what to do!

- Come on!
Asta, come on!

I'm sorry.

-

- I was taught
that the biggest problem

with the human race
was their need for connection.

We always saw that
as a weakness.

But now I realize it may be
their greatest strength.

In 1884,
the local mine caved in.

When the miners escaped,

they realized there was
one man still trapped.

- There's still one in there.

- 59 men went back
into the compromised mine,

risking their own lives
to save him.

59 died to save one.

Maybe there's
something redeemable

about the human race
after all.

Unfortunately for them,
it's too late.

It's only a matter of time
before I find

the rest of my device,

and when I do, I can finally
complete my mission

and kill them all.

Every single one of them.

- Yeah, thanks, bye.

Hi, Harry.

- Hi.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

- You have a patient
in the exam room.

-

- Yeah.

This is some bullshit.

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