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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,907 --> 00:00:32,867 MAN 1: One contest… MAN 2: Jon, one song… 2 00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,619 MAN 1: Trust me. MAN 3: Hit the fucking brakes. 3 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:37,038 JON: This place looks sweet. KYLE: I'll get the boards. 4 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,956 ERIK: That's my boy. KYLE: Yeah, fuck you. 5 00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:41,709 JON: Hey. Who is this guy? SHANE: Some freak from Santa Clara. 6 00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:43,794 – Don't worry about him. ERIK: Who gives a fuck? 7 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,380 JON: No, I'm not worried about it, I'm just saying. 8 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,467 KYLE: Listen, man, this is fucking America, man, not fucking Zimbabwe. 9 00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:51,469 ERIK: Zimbabwe? Yo, fucking Caribbean, bitch. 10 00:00:51,636 --> 00:00:54,055 How many times I gotta remind you? Kiss my ass. 11 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:55,973 Yo, leave this motherfucker here, man. 12 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,809 I'll drive Miss Daisy, I'll drive your ass home, bitch. 13 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,770 Drive this surfboard right up your… 14 00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:02,855 JON: Let's go. KYLE: We're breaking in! 15 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:04,774 JON: Hey. Keep it down. ERIK: Shut up! 16 00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:06,484 – Shut up! SHANE: Why, are you scared? 17 00:01:06,651 --> 00:01:07,860 JON: Yeah. Yeah, I'm scared. 18 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:11,280 – Don't drop my board or I'll cut your throat. KYLE: Take this, Aryan bitch. 19 00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:15,618 ERIK: I don't know where you found this swastika-waving wannabe-skinhead. 20 00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:17,745 – Get the fuck away from me. JON: Fucking psycho. 21 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,830 [KYLE LAUGHING] 22 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,531 [SURFERS LAUGHING] 23 00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,916 SHANE: Wait till you see the reaction on his face. 24 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,543 KYLE: Yo, it's corn-fed, fucking… 25 00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:08,587 What the fuck are you doing on my beach? 26 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:11,257 ERIK: What you say, fussy? You're too red-eyed. 27 00:02:11,424 --> 00:02:15,553 You don't run this thing. You run your pussy-whore blood-clot. 28 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,680 [SURFERS LAUGHING] 29 00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:19,890 He says that you don't own the ocean. 30 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,976 Is that a fact? 31 00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,894 Let me tell you something. 32 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:27,231 I own every drop of water between here and the lighthouse… 33 00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:29,692 …as well as the sand and everything on it. 34 00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:33,988 Which I guess now includes you. 35 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,409 [LAUGHING] 36 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,619 KYLE: Hey, you know what? Fuck that. 37 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,039 Why don't you just blow me, you old fuck? 38 00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:47,585 Hey. Take it easy, man. We're done here, anyway. 39 00:02:47,752 --> 00:02:51,922 Uh-uh. We're just getting started. 40 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,175 – Jesus. – We jumped your gate, it's not like… 41 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,052 …we went for a swim in your pool. 42 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:59,680 – We'd never go into anyone's house. – Unless we were invited. 43 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:09,398 [SCREECHING] 44 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,706 Hey. 45 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,708 Make sure you take the head. 46 00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:40,346 Yo. Suck my dick, bitch. 47 00:03:40,513 --> 00:03:42,807 Hey, Shane. Check this out. 48 00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:46,310 Ow. Fucking… 49 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:49,897 I think I hit the spine. 50 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,859 Oh, you son of a bitch. 51 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,778 You fucking… 52 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:57,655 Clear the shot. 53 00:03:58,114 --> 00:04:00,908 There you go. You ain't talking shit now, you bitch. 54 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:52,269 [AIRBOURNE'S «TOO MUCH, TOO YOUNG, TOO FAST» PLAYS ON CAR STEREO] 55 00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:07,868 [MUSIC STOPS] 56 00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:17,294 Not bad, right? 57 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:22,883 Not bad, not bad. 58 00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:26,804 Not bad at all. 59 00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:29,765 Right, little sister? 60 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,938 Thank you. 61 00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:39,441 – Told you this was gonna work out. – Yeah? Then where's the sun? 62 00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,485 he sun's overrated. 63 00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,320 Gives you wrinkles. 64 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:44,655 – Chris. – Come on. 65 00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:45,948 Get out. 66 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,535 CHRIS: Be nice. NICOLE: I'm always nice. 67 00:06:49,702 --> 00:06:51,662 You're the one with the temper. 68 00:06:51,829 --> 00:06:53,872 Now, see? That wasn't nice. 69 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,165 [NICOLE LAUGHS] 70 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,084 NICOLE: You're such an ass. CHRIS: Yup. 71 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,252 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 72 00:06:58,419 --> 00:06:59,503 WOMAN: Coming. 73 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,799 – Oh, my goodness, look at you. – Hi. Hey, Aunt Jillian. 74 00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:06,218 I wasn't expecting you for ages, you're so early. 75 00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:08,178 We didn't know how long it would take. 76 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,347 The last time I saw you, you were this high. 77 00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:12,182 – I drank my milk. – Come here. 78 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,518 You drank your milk, you silly… 79 00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:18,731 And Nicole, come here. Come here. 80 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,274 Let me look at you. 81 00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:22,735 You're so beautiful. You-- 82 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,070 You look so much like your mom. 83 00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:28,532 – It's totally blowing my mind. NICOLE: Thanks. 84 00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,244 I'm sorry. 85 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,539 I'm so sorry that I didn't-- 86 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,583 – That's okay, Aunt Jillian. – Didn't know-- 87 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:38,876 NICOLE: Aunt Jillian. 88 00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:40,961 – Thank you. – Look at me. 89 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,381 Let's get you guys situated. 90 00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:47,593 So this is what we call in the business «a diamond in the rough.» 91 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:53,057 It's got great bones, but it could use a little sprucing up. 92 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,017 There we go. 93 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:58,062 So there's the kitchen over there and some storage over there. 94 00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:01,231 Sleeping space here, living— Come this way. 95 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,608 Half-bath through there… 96 00:08:02,775 --> 00:08:06,528 …and it creates a very nice rustic-y charm, feng-shui-type flow… 97 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,781 …that leads us straight out to-- Come on. 98 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,200 – -this out to here. 99 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,410 There we go. Ta-da! 100 00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,995 Beautiful. 101 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,955 Just watch that step there. 102 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,249 So lots of fresh air-- 103 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,251 Scat. Scat. 104 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,253 Just ignore the old guy. 105 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:26,256 I was thinking 650 a month, how does that sound? 106 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:27,424 Six-fifty? 107 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:31,261 I know, I know. I could be getting at least 800, but what am I gonna do? 108 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,430 Charge you guys full price? You're family. 109 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,600 Well, it sounds good. 110 00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:40,312 It is so great having you both here. 111 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:46,110 Here's the keys. Remember, Jillian with a J. 112 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,953 NICOLE: I thought she was gonna let us stay here for free. 113 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,789 CHRIS: Well, yeah. So did I. 114 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,876 NICOLE: Does this even work? CHRIS: Yeah. I'm sure it's fine. 115 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:06,255 – Plug it in, dust it off. – It doesn't work. 116 00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:09,216 Hey, Nicole. Check this out. 117 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,926 [BOTH LAUGHING] 118 00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:12,803 Oh, my God. 119 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:17,266 We're gonna put this up right now. These have got to go up. 120 00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,476 It's a safety hazard. 121 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:22,813 CHRIS: Right there on that nail, right there. – Oh, oh, wait. There? 122 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,984 Now this place has everything. 123 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,738 Chris, where are we gonna sleep? 124 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,241 No, no, no. There's a bedroom back here, and we have that futon. 125 00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:37,327 Maybe we can pick up another futon, used, for right over there. 126 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:40,789 futon? A used futon? – Yealr. 127 00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,332 Great. Yeah. 128 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:45,461 You know, I bet this is just like college, only not cool. 129 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:47,921 You know what? 130 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,591 Maybe we'll get out of here for a little bit, okay? 131 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,551 We can unpack later. Let's go. 132 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:53,761 NICOLE: Okay. 133 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,356 It's right here. 134 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,673 Hey, you wouldn't happen to have the time? 135 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,801 Urn… Uh… 136 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,387 You're actually wearing a watch, so… 137 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:38,931 Yeah. 138 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,225 Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's broken, you know. 139 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,976 Oh. Uh-huh. 140 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,978 You're Chris Emerson, right? 141 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,939 Yeah, yeah. What's your name, man? 142 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,148 – Alex. – Hey. 143 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,734 Dude, it's too bad you got kicked off the circuit. 144 00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:54,321 You were the most amazing surfer since Slater, since Powers, man. 145 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:57,658 – You totally screwed that guy up. – Thanks dude, I appreciate that. 146 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,743 So, what are you doing here alone? 147 00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,954 That sounded kind of creepy, didn't it? 148 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,872 Yeah, a little. 149 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,582 I'm here with my brother. 150 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:08,585 Reason I asked is because it's not that safe around here… 151 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,712 …for girls to be alone, you know? 152 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,592 – Creepy, once again. Sorry. – Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. 153 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:19,638 Just, for whatever reason, this town manages to attract… 154 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:22,558 …a lot of freaks and weirdoes. 155 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,185 Not that I'm a freak or a weirdo. 156 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,398 I'm just gonna stop talking, okay? 157 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,567 Okay. 158 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,070 Wanna check something real? Check out the Frog Brothers' shop. 159 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,239 I'm looking for some work. 160 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:39,449 I got the place pretty much handled. 161 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:40,784 Yeah, I know. I can tell. 162 00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:43,787 You seem really busy, but I was looking to shape. 163 00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:46,498 Well, in that case, yeah, check out Frog Brothers, man. 164 00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:48,792 He's the only real shaper we have around here. 165 00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:49,960 Where's his shop at? 166 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:53,589 Man, it's in the ass-end of nowhere, but I'll draw you a map. 167 00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:57,301 – I'm gonna give you my number. – Because that's not creepy. 168 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:58,886 – Is it? – I'm totally kidding. 169 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,137 Okay, sorry. 170 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,265 NICOLE: I don't really even know your name. 171 00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:06,101 – Evan. – I'm Nicole. 172 00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:09,855 Just call me if you want somebody to hang out with. There you go. 173 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,150 Cool. 174 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,738 CHRIS: This should be it, right up here. 175 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,742 NICOLE: Charming. 176 00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:42,846 Call me crazy, but do you really think anyone who lives here… 177 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,599 …would be able to pay you to shape? 178 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:47,851 It doesn't hurt to try. 179 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:14,002 – Okay, can we go? – No. Hand me a piece of paper and a pen. 180 00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:15,837 Why? 181 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:19,424 Just in case he doesn't have a phone, I want him to know where to find me. 182 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,468 Oh, yes. Yes, leave our address… 183 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,763 …at the creepy Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer. 184 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,640 It's a good plan. 185 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,620 CHRIS: I still think it's nicer than our place. 186 00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,372 [CHRIS LAUGHS] 187 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,965 And what do you think the state of the shower is? 188 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,300 Not good. 189 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,761 I think I'm gonna give it a shot. 190 00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:16,750 Sorry. Did I scare you? 191 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,461 No, sorry, you just-- 192 00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:21,671 I didn't hear you come up. 193 00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:27,219 You want a picture? It might last longer. 194 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,388 Sorry, man. Just-- 195 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,182 You look exactly like Shane Powers. 196 00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:34,476 hat makes sense. 197 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:37,687 What the hell happened to you, man? You had everything. 198 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:40,941 You were the greatest surfer in the world and you just disappeared? 199 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,193 I could probably ask you the same question. 200 00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:45,612 Right? 201 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:48,824 Yeah, well. I don't know. 202 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:52,702 The dust hasn't settled yet so I don't know what the hell happened. 203 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,331 Well, don't take too long to figure it out. 204 00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:59,292 But I had a chance to change my life and I took it, you know. 205 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,294 Carpe diem. 206 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,598 You got plans for tonight? 207 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,308 CHRIS: No. 208 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,768 I'm having a surf party. 209 00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:20,438 You should cruise over, meet the rest of the guys. 210 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,482 They're killer. 211 00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:28,196 NICOLE: Can I come? 212 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,574 No, I don't think it's a good idea. 213 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,409 Why not? 214 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,412 I don't know. A gut feeling I have, I don't know. 215 00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:36,663 I just met this guy. 216 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,749 Oh, please, you had a poster of him on your wall in high school. 217 00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:44,296 So I wanna go hang out at his house? He's- 218 00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:46,590 He's kind of a weirdo. 219 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,426 – Weird is good. – No, weird is weird, all right? 220 00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:53,179 – I'm not going, so just save your breath. – What do you mean you're not going? 221 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,599 Chris, what are--? No. Get up, okay? 222 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,059 – Get up. You need a night out. – No, I don't. 223 00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,853 Okay, I need a night out. 224 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,187 Let's go. Get up and-- 225 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,522 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 226 00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:05,025 – Hey. – Hi. 227 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:08,612 I don't know if the two of you are busy tonight or not, but… 228 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,739 …I have got The Goonies. 229 00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:13,366 Excuse me? 230 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,203 JILLIAN: The Goonies? 231 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:20,707 Oh, my gosh, you mean to say the two of you have never heard of The Goonies? 232 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:25,337 You are in for a very serious treat. 233 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,631 Oh. Uh… Actually, I mean, that-- 234 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:31,927 Yeah, that sounds fun, but we actually have plans. 235 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,972 We're going to a party. 236 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,645 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 237 00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,191 NICOLE: It's not gonna be that bad. 238 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,151 CHRIS: Talk to me after I have a drink. 239 00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,445 I'm about to show you how to make the badass… 240 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,573 …motherfucking sickest margarita recipe you've ever heard of. 241 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,951 Take your hundred-percent, blue-agave tequila… 242 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,328 …a fresh squeeze of lemon and/or lime juice… 243 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:44,374 …a little bit of an orange liqueur, something to kind of… Take the edge off that. 244 00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:47,711 The fourth and very secret ingredient ties the whole room together. 245 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,547 Kind of like that rug in The Big Lebowski. 246 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:54,217 And it's Chris-fucking-Emerson and his… 247 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,553 –… Hot piece-of-ass sister, Nicole? – Let's go. 248 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,847 JON: What are you guys doing here? – Shane invited us. 249 00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:00,140 JON: No, idiot, here in Luna Bay. 250 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,809 – Are you fucking stalking me? CHRIS: We live here. 251 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,894 JON: Maybe we can get together again, Nicole. 252 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:08,356 – You bar-bitching? That your new job? JON: Not you, maybe your hot sister, though. 253 00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,483 Speaking of which, it's been a long time. 254 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:14,946 – You're looking really good in those boots. – Why don't you stop being such an ass? 255 00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,614 JON: Ooh! Yeah, that's right, walk away. 256 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:20,076 Nicole, you're looking good, you've really grown into yourself. 257 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:21,286 – Fuck off. JON: Call me. 258 00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:22,912 I told you this was a bad idea. 259 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:27,333 – Forget about him. He's trying to get to you. – I don't care, I'm not staying at this party. 260 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,503 Chris. No, that's stupid, we just got here. 261 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:34,924 I don't wanna go anywhere, Chris, I wanna stay and have a good time, okay? 262 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,134 I'm not a kid anymore. 263 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:39,471 I know you're not, but you're still my responsibility, so let's go. 264 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:42,432 Okay, I won't get in trouble, okay? I promise. 265 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:46,227 I'll take care of myself and you take care of yourself, okay? 266 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:49,189 MAN: Hey, man, what's up? Yes, dude. 267 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,900 Dude, right? That's tight, bro. 268 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,485 Okay, okay. Don't look now… 269 00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:58,156 …but that little hottie over there by the fire is giving you all kinds of love. 270 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,659 Have fun. 271 00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:15,465 Hey, Nicole. 272 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,801 Nicole. Nicole. 273 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:31,523 Nicole. Nicole. 274 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,443 – Whoo! Woo-hoo. Hey, what's your deal? 275 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:38,655 The deal is you're gonna go over there and sit by yourself… 276 00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:41,783 …and you're gonna drink these margaritas by yourself. 277 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,869 – No, I'm not. KYLE: Jon. 278 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,540 Better than the alternative, bro. 279 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,762 It's a hell of a view, isn't it? 280 00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:06,015 Yeah. The whole place, it's incredible. 281 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,858 Yeah. When I saw that view, I just knew I had to have this place. 282 00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:17,277 I'm Shane. 283 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:18,987 I'm Nicole. 284 00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,865 Well, Nicole, how about I give you a little tour? 285 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,826 Yeah, okay. 286 00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:43,720 So are you gonna make your move or are you just gonna watch me dance all night? 287 00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:46,931 I was waiting for my moment. 288 00:21:47,098 --> 00:21:50,685 Seems to me like your moment almost passed you by, cowboy. 289 00:21:50,852 --> 00:21:53,104 I don't know, you're standing here talking to me. 290 00:21:53,271 --> 00:21:56,274 Only because I have a weakness for surfer boys. 291 00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:58,860 And because I know who you are. 292 00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:00,820 You follow surfing? 293 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,405 Surfers. 294 00:22:02,572 --> 00:22:04,741 follow surfers. 295 00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:10,705 And sometimes they follow me. 296 00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:25,261 [SHOWER RUNNING] 297 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,889 This is un-fucking-believable. 298 00:22:41,945 --> 00:22:43,821 NICOLE: Wow. 299 00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:47,450 – This place is amazing. – Thank you. 300 00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:53,540 So do you and your brother get along? 301 00:22:54,499 --> 00:22:56,876 Yeah. Well, most of the time, you know. 302 00:22:57,043 --> 00:23:00,171 – Kind of have to. – You have to? Why's that? 303 00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:04,300 Well, because it's pretty much just us now. 304 00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:08,471 Our parents died in a car accident a few years ago. 305 00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:12,934 I think it was actually a lot harder on Chris than it was on me. 306 00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:15,561 You know, I think that's why he snapped. 307 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,689 Is that why he got kicked off the circuit? 308 00:23:17,855 --> 00:23:19,148 – Yeah. Yeah. – Yeah. 309 00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:22,110 And lost all his sponsors. Not the right image. 310 00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:27,991 So we started running out of money and that's how we ended up here. 311 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,826 Yeah. Yeah. 312 00:23:29,993 --> 00:23:31,703 Well, your brother's a good guy, huh? 313 00:23:31,869 --> 00:23:35,748 He just got a tough break. You both did. 314 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:37,500 Well… 315 00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:41,546 …I actually think death can be a positive thing. 316 00:23:41,713 --> 00:23:42,964 You know, because… 317 00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:47,302 …knowing you're gonna die makes you appreciate life. 318 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:48,761 The whole carpe diem thing. 319 00:23:49,887 --> 00:23:52,181 That's an interesting view for someone so young. 320 00:23:53,808 --> 00:23:55,643 I'm not that young. 321 00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:57,520 Well… 322 00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:00,523 Dying is a part of living, you know? 323 00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:04,110 It's something that's gonna happen to all of us someday, right? 324 00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:07,280 That depends. 325 00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:11,993 I wanna try something. 326 00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:24,505 I want you to take this dead rose in your hand. 327 00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:38,144 I believe that it's possible for us to change reality… 328 00:24:38,311 --> 00:24:39,896 …through sheer force of will. 329 00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:42,315 You think that's possible? 330 00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:44,567 Urn… 331 00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:48,529 – I guess so. – You guess so or you know so? 332 00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:53,242 – I know so. – You know so. 333 00:24:53,409 --> 00:24:56,037 Okay, well then, close your eyes. 334 00:24:56,496 --> 00:24:58,414 Close your eyes. 335 00:24:59,248 --> 00:25:00,917 Now focus on this rose… 336 00:25:01,084 --> 00:25:05,421 …and try to imagine what it must have been like when it was alive and vital. 337 00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:10,176 Do you feel anything? 338 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,429 – Definitely. – Mm-hm. 339 00:25:14,472 --> 00:25:16,224 Open your eyes. 340 00:25:20,937 --> 00:25:23,064 NICOLE: Oh, my God. 341 00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:25,858 How did you do that? 342 00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:28,695 Magic. 343 00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:30,822 And I didn't do it… 344 00:25:33,324 --> 00:25:37,036 …we did it, together. 345 00:25:37,412 --> 00:25:38,705 What is it? 346 00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:41,457 It's good, try it. 347 00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:47,296 – Smells good. – Mm-hm. 348 00:25:51,467 --> 00:25:53,219 What do you think? 349 00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:57,598 like it. 350 00:26:04,981 --> 00:26:07,358 – You okay? – Yeah. 351 00:26:07,525 --> 00:26:09,986 It just went right to my head. 352 00:26:11,988 --> 00:26:14,073 You wanna go outside and get some fresh air? 353 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,701 Yeah? Let's go. 354 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:36,012 SHANE: You wanna go for a ride? 355 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,183 don't know. It's kind of cold out. 356 00:26:40,349 --> 00:26:43,895 Well, that's what this is for. 357 00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:06,209 – Yo, Jo-Jo. JON: Hey. 358 00:27:06,375 --> 00:27:07,794 ERIK: Watch the pretty boy there. 359 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,338 So here we are. Let's show him a little something. 360 00:27:10,505 --> 00:27:11,714 JON: Yeah. – Come, now. 361 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,885 – Why don't you come upstairs with me-- – Yo, Kyle. 362 00:27:16,052 --> 00:27:17,678 [GRUNTING] 363 00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:19,222 [WOMEN SCREAMING] 364 00:27:19,388 --> 00:27:21,224 KYLE: What the fuck? 365 00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:23,434 [WOMAN SCREAMING] 366 00:27:23,601 --> 00:27:25,561 What is it? What? 367 00:27:26,062 --> 00:27:28,856 Fuck. It fucking stings, man, that's not cool. 368 00:27:30,191 --> 00:27:33,194 Fucking asshole, man. I'm trying to get fucking laid. 369 00:27:33,361 --> 00:27:36,364 This is a fucking brand-new shirt, prick. Come here, come here. 370 00:27:36,531 --> 00:27:38,658 Come here. Give me the fucking knife. 371 00:27:39,659 --> 00:27:41,494 What the fuck? 372 00:27:42,078 --> 00:27:44,372 – Come back here. JON: Oh, down he goes. 373 00:27:44,914 --> 00:27:46,249 I'm sorry. 374 00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:48,000 I'm sorry, I gotta go. 375 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:50,086 I have to go check on my sister. 376 00:27:50,253 --> 00:27:52,797 LISA: Your sister? – Sorry. 377 00:27:52,964 --> 00:27:55,716 So you go that way, huh? I can do that. 378 00:27:55,883 --> 00:27:57,635 – Sorry, I gotta go. – Wait. Don't leave. 379 00:27:57,802 --> 00:27:59,178 – I gotta go. – Don't leave. 380 00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:01,389 – Come on. – Don't. Stay. 381 00:28:01,556 --> 00:28:04,016 – Sorry. – Come. 382 00:29:11,250 --> 00:29:12,835 Feel better? 383 00:29:13,002 --> 00:29:14,879 – Much. – Yeah? 384 00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:44,325 I'm sure she's fine, she's with Shane. 385 00:29:44,492 --> 00:29:45,826 You know, Shane's a good guy. 386 00:29:45,993 --> 00:29:49,038 If I were you, I'd be happy that he's into your sister. 387 00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:56,712 Hey, get off the bike. 388 00:29:57,380 --> 00:29:58,923 – What? Chris. – What's up, buddy? 389 00:29:59,090 --> 00:30:00,841 – Get off the bike – Is there a problem? 390 00:30:01,008 --> 00:30:03,803 No, dude, this is between me and my sister, man. Thank you. 391 00:30:03,970 --> 00:30:07,223 She can handle herself, man. Believe me. 392 00:30:07,390 --> 00:30:08,724 NICOLE: Chris. MAN: Oh, hell, no. 393 00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:10,726 NICOLE: Chris. – Jon. 394 00:30:10,893 --> 00:30:12,395 ERIK: Take it easy. – Let him go. 395 00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:14,021 – Calm down. NICOLE: Get off of me. 396 00:30:14,188 --> 00:30:16,649 – Overprotective much? – She's my family, asshole. 397 00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:19,568 JON: Cool it, bitch. Settle down. 398 00:30:20,069 --> 00:30:21,278 – Let him go. JON: What? 399 00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:22,905 Let him go. 400 00:30:30,496 --> 00:30:32,915 Stay the hell away from my sister. 401 00:30:34,917 --> 00:30:36,502 Don't. 402 00:30:36,669 --> 00:30:38,754 JON: Stay the hell out of Malibu, Lebowski. 403 00:30:38,921 --> 00:30:41,257 KYLE: Stop walking like a fag. 404 00:31:05,948 --> 00:31:08,534 CHRIS: I knew we shouldn't have gone to that party. 405 00:31:08,701 --> 00:31:13,539 I asked you, like, to do two things, and you completely ignore me. 406 00:31:13,706 --> 00:31:15,916 Do not hang out with some dude you don't know… 407 00:31:16,083 --> 00:31:18,544 …and don't go up to his room to party with the guy. 408 00:31:18,711 --> 00:31:20,463 – Okay, Chris. I get it. – What is that? 409 00:31:20,629 --> 00:31:22,381 Stop it. 410 00:31:23,883 --> 00:31:26,802 – Should have told me where you were-- – That's enough, stop it. 411 00:31:26,969 --> 00:31:29,388 Stop trying to be my dad. 412 00:31:33,142 --> 00:31:34,769 Oh, my God. 413 00:31:35,352 --> 00:31:37,188 Oh, my God. 414 00:31:37,688 --> 00:31:40,649 Chris, something is seriously wrong with me right now. 415 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:43,778 Nothing's wrong with you, you're just drunk. 416 00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:45,279 NICOLE: Chris, I am not drunk. 417 00:31:45,446 --> 00:31:47,782 Something is seriously the matter with me. 418 00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:51,243 Okay, just hang on a little bit, all right? We're almost home. 419 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:54,163 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I'm gonna-- 420 00:31:54,330 --> 00:31:56,123 [VOMITS] 421 00:32:00,711 --> 00:32:02,463 NICOLE: My stomach. 422 00:32:03,047 --> 00:32:04,757 CHRIS: Look, all right, we're almost there. 423 00:32:04,924 --> 00:32:07,551 I'm telling you, there is something seriously the matter. 424 00:32:07,718 --> 00:32:11,388 You're fine. You just need a glass of water and some Advil. 425 00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,599 All right, you're just drunk. 426 00:32:15,476 --> 00:32:17,186 NICOLE [IN DEMONIC VOICE]: I am not drunk. 427 00:32:18,103 --> 00:32:19,939 – Nicole. Nicole. – I'm sick. 428 00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:32,785 Chris Emerson? I'm Edgar Frog. 429 00:32:32,952 --> 00:32:35,788 Surfboard shaper and vampire hunter. 430 00:32:36,205 --> 00:32:37,748 What? 431 00:32:38,374 --> 00:32:40,793 – Hey, get- – What are you doing? 432 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:48,801 You don't know what you're doing. I'm trying to save you, your sister's infected. 433 00:32:48,968 --> 00:32:51,470 – What are you talking about? – She's one of the undead. 434 00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:53,013 Get-- 435 00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:54,890 Get out of my house. 436 00:32:55,057 --> 00:32:56,475 It's your funeral, pal. 437 00:33:24,795 --> 00:33:27,006 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 438 00:33:28,841 --> 00:33:31,427 CHRIS: I told you to get the hell out of here, man. 439 00:33:31,594 --> 00:33:32,928 LISA: Hi. 440 00:33:34,889 --> 00:33:36,432 Hi. 441 00:33:36,599 --> 00:33:39,435 We didn't get to finish what we started. 442 00:33:39,727 --> 00:33:41,186 Yeah. 443 00:33:43,814 --> 00:33:46,150 Well, aren't you gonna invite me in? 444 00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:51,363 Now's not the best time. 445 00:33:57,786 --> 00:33:59,288 Yeah. 446 00:33:59,622 --> 00:34:02,041 Okay. Come on in. 447 00:34:10,925 --> 00:34:13,552 You know what? I'm sorry, I'm not-- 448 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:18,224 – I can't do this with my sister back there. – Let me see if I can change your mind. 449 00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:19,934 Yeah? 450 00:34:39,995 --> 00:34:42,039 You taste good. 451 00:34:46,502 --> 00:34:48,170 Oh, hey. 452 00:34:48,587 --> 00:34:51,215 Lisa, get off. Stop. 453 00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:55,010 Lisa, stop it. 454 00:34:55,678 --> 00:34:58,847 Seriously, get-- What's the matter with you? 455 00:34:59,723 --> 00:35:01,058 Stop. Seriously, stop. 456 00:35:01,225 --> 00:35:02,351 [LISA GROWLING] 457 00:35:02,518 --> 00:35:04,019 Get off me. 458 00:35:04,186 --> 00:35:05,354 Lisa, get off. 459 00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:07,815 Lisa, get off. 460 00:35:33,549 --> 00:35:35,217 Lisa? 461 00:35:35,884 --> 00:35:38,679 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 462 00:35:58,032 --> 00:35:59,158 What the fuck? 463 00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:13,922 Hey, man. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. Whoa. 464 00:36:14,089 --> 00:36:15,132 Whoa. 465 00:36:15,299 --> 00:36:18,427 Let's get something straight. I let you get away with that shit… 466 00:36:18,594 --> 00:36:22,431 …because I understand what it's like to lose a family member to the other side. 467 00:36:22,598 --> 00:36:26,894 If it happens again, you're gonna end up on the wrong side of the stake, are we clear? 468 00:36:27,770 --> 00:36:29,980 – Mm-hm. – Good. 469 00:36:31,565 --> 00:36:33,859 It's cool, man. Look, I just-- 470 00:36:34,026 --> 00:36:37,154 I don't understand what's going on, all right? 471 00:36:37,321 --> 00:36:38,781 You said my sister was infected? 472 00:36:38,947 --> 00:36:41,116 Your sister's become a member of the undead. 473 00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:43,285 A night stalker. A bloodsucker. 474 00:36:43,452 --> 00:36:44,912 Nosferatu. 475 00:36:46,205 --> 00:36:48,624 Your sister's a suck monkey. 476 00:36:49,458 --> 00:36:51,710 Dude, that's-- That's ridiculous, man. 477 00:36:51,877 --> 00:36:55,380 Ridiculous? Then what are you doing here? 478 00:36:55,798 --> 00:36:59,343 Look, some crazy shit happened at my place after you left. 479 00:36:59,510 --> 00:37:01,136 Define «crazy shit.» 480 00:37:02,096 --> 00:37:05,432 Well, this— This chick came into my house and-- 481 00:37:05,599 --> 00:37:10,437 And she sprouted fangs and then she turned into stone and exploded. 482 00:37:11,897 --> 00:37:14,233 Now, that's just ridiculous. 483 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,152 Vampires don't just turn into stone and then explode. 484 00:37:17,319 --> 00:37:20,781 They have to be pierced through the heart with a sharp object. 485 00:37:22,157 --> 00:37:24,910 You know, I guess the antlers could have done that. 486 00:37:25,077 --> 00:37:27,496 I thought it had to be a wooden stake or something. 487 00:37:27,663 --> 00:37:30,249 EDGAR: That's a myth. Any sharp object will do. 488 00:37:30,416 --> 00:37:32,793 As a matter of fact, it doesn't have to be sharp. 489 00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,671 It can be a blunt object, as long as it pierces the heart. 490 00:37:35,838 --> 00:37:38,340 You said my sister was one of them? 491 00:37:38,924 --> 00:37:41,218 – But how would that happen? – One of two ways: 492 00:37:41,385 --> 00:37:42,970 Either A, she was bit… 493 00:37:43,137 --> 00:37:47,141 …or B, she drank the blood of the head vampire. 494 00:37:47,850 --> 00:37:50,519 How do you know so much about vampires? 495 00:37:50,978 --> 00:37:53,438 EDGAR: Comic books, my friend, comic books. 496 00:37:53,605 --> 00:37:55,858 I ask you for answers and you give me comic books? 497 00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:59,653 A lot of valuable information can be gained by reading comic books. 498 00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:01,530 For example… 499 00:38:01,989 --> 00:38:03,323 …see here? 500 00:38:03,490 --> 00:38:06,034 This poor sap's drinking the blood of the head vampire. 501 00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:09,788 They like to trick people by putting it into wine bottles. 502 00:38:40,485 --> 00:38:43,030 Dude, what are you drinking, man? 503 00:38:43,572 --> 00:38:44,698 Frog Juice. 504 00:38:44,865 --> 00:38:47,910 Garlic, holy water and raw eggs. 505 00:38:49,828 --> 00:38:52,414 Okay, so what you're saying is, based on a comic book… 506 00:38:52,581 --> 00:38:55,083 …my sister drank blood and now she's a vampire. 507 00:38:55,250 --> 00:38:57,836 Half. She's only half vampire. 508 00:38:58,003 --> 00:39:02,049 She won't make the transition to full bloodsucker until she makes her first kill. 509 00:39:02,216 --> 00:39:05,427 – Great. – That is great, actually. 510 00:39:05,594 --> 00:39:09,014 Because it means you still have time to save her mortal soul. 511 00:39:09,181 --> 00:39:14,895 All you have to do is kill the head vampire before she feeds. 512 00:40:41,189 --> 00:40:42,607 Hello? 513 00:40:44,318 --> 00:40:45,861 Hello? 514 00:40:46,528 --> 00:40:48,613 NICOLE: It's open. 515 00:40:53,201 --> 00:40:54,703 EVAN: Hi. 516 00:40:55,370 --> 00:40:57,289 I brought wine. 517 00:41:09,551 --> 00:41:11,553 love wine. 518 00:41:31,073 --> 00:41:33,909 To be honest, I really didn't think you dug me all that much. 519 00:41:34,076 --> 00:41:36,662 – Why would you think that? – Just a vibe I got, I guess. 520 00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:43,418 NICOLE: What vibe are you getting now? 521 00:41:43,585 --> 00:41:46,046 EVAN: A really good one. 522 00:42:00,769 --> 00:42:01,978 [GROWLS] 523 00:42:02,145 --> 00:42:04,523 CHRIS: Nicole. EVAN: Oh, shit. 524 00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:06,608 Did--? Did you do it? 525 00:42:06,775 --> 00:42:09,361 – Get the hell out of here. – We didn't do anything, man. 526 00:42:09,528 --> 00:42:12,781 Dude, I didn't know you guys were born-again Christians or whatever. 527 00:42:16,118 --> 00:42:17,619 Man, I'm not using your sister. 528 00:42:17,786 --> 00:42:20,163 CHRIS: Yeah, good to know. Thank you. – I really like her. 529 00:43:04,458 --> 00:43:08,837 CHRIS: This is basically one of those, like, good news/bad news scenario things. 530 00:43:09,004 --> 00:43:10,547 What do you want first? 531 00:43:10,714 --> 00:43:13,633 Oh, shit. Okay, the bad news. 532 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:17,345 Okay, the bad news is that the wine that Shane gave you the other night… 533 00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:19,848 …wasn't wine, all right, it was blood. 534 00:43:20,432 --> 00:43:22,350 Shane's blood. 535 00:43:23,268 --> 00:43:24,519 Right. 536 00:43:24,686 --> 00:43:28,523 Okay, Chris, I know you don't like the guy, but, like, that's disgusting. 537 00:43:28,690 --> 00:43:32,027 No, and by drinking his blood, you've been turned into a vampire. 538 00:43:32,194 --> 00:43:34,529 Right, I'm a vampire, Chris. Great. 539 00:43:34,696 --> 00:43:37,324 Stop being such an asshole, I'm not a freaking vampire. 540 00:43:37,491 --> 00:43:39,784 I'm not being an asshole, Nicole. 541 00:43:40,202 --> 00:43:44,581 I know it sounds ridiculous, but take a look. 542 00:43:44,748 --> 00:43:45,957 See anything missing? 543 00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:47,626 You. 544 00:43:52,547 --> 00:43:55,592 No. Vampire. You weren't gonna make out with that kid… 545 00:43:55,759 --> 00:43:56,968 …you were gonna eat him. 546 00:43:57,135 --> 00:44:00,388 You had fangs and crazy eyes, I saw it all. 547 00:44:06,061 --> 00:44:08,313 Okay, the good news better be really fucking good. 548 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,191 No, the good news is great news, okay? 549 00:44:11,358 --> 00:44:14,110 See, right now you're only, like, half of a vampire. 550 00:44:14,277 --> 00:44:16,154 Which means you can be turned back human. 551 00:44:16,321 --> 00:44:19,407 As long as Eddie and I kill the head vampire before you feed. 552 00:44:19,574 --> 00:44:21,826 – So just don't eat anyone. – What? Who's Eddie? 553 00:44:21,993 --> 00:44:23,745 Eddie Frog, he's a vampire slayer. 554 00:44:23,912 --> 00:44:26,873 – I thought he was a surfboard shaper. – Well, that too. 555 00:44:28,083 --> 00:44:30,252 Right. Okay. 556 00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:33,463 Let me just get this straight then. So you've teamed up… 557 00:44:33,630 --> 00:44:36,132 …with a surfboard-shaper-slash-vampire-hunter… 558 00:44:36,299 --> 00:44:39,177 …so you can kill this guy who I'm totally crushing on… 559 00:44:39,344 --> 00:44:42,389 …so you can save me from eternal damnation? 560 00:44:42,556 --> 00:44:45,392 – Is that pretty much it? – Yeah, that's pretty much it. 561 00:44:48,186 --> 00:44:50,772 [BOTH SCREAMING] 562 00:44:50,939 --> 00:44:53,942 – No. Calm down, calm down. – No, Chris, I'm not gonna calm down. 563 00:44:54,109 --> 00:44:55,860 – No. – What's wrong with you? 564 00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:58,113 I tried to eat that guy, do you realize that? 565 00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,907 Do you know what it's like for me to want to drink blood? 566 00:45:01,074 --> 00:45:04,369 Do you know how disgusting that is? I'm a vegetarian. 567 00:45:25,056 --> 00:45:26,683 [YELLS] 568 00:46:10,685 --> 00:46:13,063 [KYLE CACKLING] 569 00:46:13,647 --> 00:46:16,191 KYLE: Is he behind Door Number 1? 570 00:46:16,733 --> 00:46:18,985 Door Number 2? 571 00:46:19,653 --> 00:46:21,488 Or Door Number… 572 00:46:22,697 --> 00:46:23,740 ...3? 573 00:46:23,907 --> 00:46:25,867 [GRUNTING] 574 00:46:39,047 --> 00:46:42,175 [WHISTLING «IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING»] 575 00:46:42,759 --> 00:46:44,427 [EVAN SCREAMING] 576 00:46:47,555 --> 00:46:49,224 EDGAR: We're screwed. 577 00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:53,812 There's just too many places where the nest could be. 578 00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:57,732 Look, I already told you, Shane's the head vampire. 579 00:46:57,899 --> 00:47:00,193 We went to party at his house a couple nights ago. 580 00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:02,320 It's gotta be the nest. 581 00:47:03,446 --> 00:47:05,740 There's no way that any self-respecting vampire… 582 00:47:05,907 --> 00:47:07,867 …would ever live in a place like that. 583 00:47:08,034 --> 00:47:12,580 I mean, they may use it as a lure or a place to feed… 584 00:47:13,081 --> 00:47:15,083 …but they'd never sleep there. 585 00:47:15,250 --> 00:47:17,210 Vampires… 586 00:47:17,836 --> 00:47:21,589 …always look for a place with a history of human suffering. 587 00:47:22,090 --> 00:47:26,052 Deep, dark, dank places. 588 00:47:27,095 --> 00:47:30,682 Places that never see the light of day. 589 00:47:30,849 --> 00:47:33,393 Places with lots of vermin. 590 00:47:33,768 --> 00:47:38,189 Places that smell of rot and earth… 591 00:47:38,606 --> 00:47:40,567 …and decay. 592 00:47:51,870 --> 00:47:55,623 Nicole. 593 00:47:58,376 --> 00:48:02,172 Nicole. 594 00:48:29,115 --> 00:48:31,117 Nicole. 595 00:48:34,996 --> 00:48:36,706 Hurry. 596 00:48:45,381 --> 00:48:47,091 Hurry. 597 00:48:53,973 --> 00:48:56,309 There's no way we can find out where the nest is… 598 00:48:56,476 --> 00:48:58,978 …without you being in their inner circle. 599 00:48:59,145 --> 00:49:01,064 Well, then that's what I'll do. 600 00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:02,857 I'll get back in with them. 601 00:49:03,024 --> 00:49:06,486 – I'm gonna become one of them. – Don't be stupid, all right? 602 00:49:06,653 --> 00:49:08,905 They can read your thoughts before you have them. 603 00:49:09,072 --> 00:49:11,866 Come on, man. She's family, asshole. 604 00:49:19,207 --> 00:49:21,501 You hit a soft spot there. 605 00:49:22,043 --> 00:49:24,212 I know what it's like to lose a sibling. 606 00:49:27,048 --> 00:49:31,302 If you're gonna do this, then you have to do it all the way. 607 00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:34,013 I mean, you have to be seduced by it. 608 00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:36,724 You have to succumb to it. 609 00:49:37,767 --> 00:49:42,856 You have to take it all the way to the brink of becoming a full vampire. 610 00:49:43,022 --> 00:49:47,151 And then you have to betray them at the last possible moment. 611 00:49:47,318 --> 00:49:49,821 Do you think you can really handle that? 612 00:49:50,738 --> 00:49:52,198 It's the only way, Eddie. 613 00:49:52,991 --> 00:49:54,576 Edgar. 614 00:49:54,742 --> 00:49:56,703 Sorry, Edgar. 615 00:49:56,870 --> 00:49:57,996 You know I'm right. 616 00:50:05,753 --> 00:50:07,380 It's a dangerous game. 617 00:50:08,131 --> 00:50:10,842 And it's one that you're likely to lose. 618 00:50:11,926 --> 00:50:13,761 So just know… 619 00:50:14,929 --> 00:50:16,890 …if you forget your place… 620 00:50:17,473 --> 00:50:19,726 …and you become one of them… 621 00:50:20,685 --> 00:50:23,021 …I'll be coming for you. 622 00:51:39,722 --> 00:51:40,932 his shit's cool. 623 00:51:41,099 --> 00:51:44,143 ERIK: Yo, Kyle, stop playing with yourself, man, the game gonna start. 624 00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:46,020 KYLE: Fucking cheater. ERIK: You know what? 625 00:51:46,187 --> 00:51:48,940 – I been calling you, brethren. KYLE: You haven't been calling me. 626 00:51:49,107 --> 00:51:50,441 ERIK: Shut up. 627 00:51:52,485 --> 00:51:53,653 Always with your crying. 628 00:51:53,820 --> 00:51:56,781 – Dude, quit it. Fucking cheater. – Listen, don't start crying. 629 00:51:56,948 --> 00:51:58,533 Check it out. Check it out. 630 00:51:58,700 --> 00:52:00,201 Tape them. 631 00:52:00,368 --> 00:52:02,161 – Tape them, man. – Skin out. 632 00:52:02,662 --> 00:52:06,040 KYLE: So nice. ERIK: Backside. 633 00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:08,626 [ERIK SCREAMS] 634 00:52:08,793 --> 00:52:10,003 [KYLE LAUGHING] 635 00:52:10,169 --> 00:52:12,630 KYLE: Yeah, bitch. ERIK: Holy fuck. 636 00:52:12,797 --> 00:52:14,882 – What the fuck is your problem? – Motherfucker. 637 00:52:15,049 --> 00:52:18,011 ERIK: You're a dead man. – Yeah, fucking blow me, buddy. Again. 638 00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:20,221 – Who's the cheater now? – Fucking white people. 639 00:52:20,388 --> 00:52:21,973 Pull this out. I ain't playing. 640 00:52:22,140 --> 00:52:25,226 – You're gonna be all over the fucking Net. – Stop. Fuck off. 641 00:52:25,393 --> 00:52:27,270 Dude, you're fucking squirting everywhere. 642 00:52:27,437 --> 00:52:28,730 – You're a squirter. – Shane. 643 00:52:54,255 --> 00:52:56,090 What about my brother? 644 00:52:56,466 --> 00:52:57,884 don't wanna lose him. 645 00:52:58,051 --> 00:52:59,635 You won't. 646 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,435 Trust me. 647 00:54:50,413 --> 00:54:51,664 MAN: Full name? 648 00:54:51,831 --> 00:54:53,541 CHRIS: Uh, Nicole. 649 00:54:54,834 --> 00:54:56,377 Em- 650 00:54:56,586 --> 00:54:58,212 Emerson. 651 00:55:00,047 --> 00:55:01,924 All right, we'll call you. 652 00:55:02,091 --> 00:55:04,594 That's it? Just gonna type her name onto a computer… 653 00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:07,221 …and hope someone turns her in like a dog pound? 654 00:55:07,388 --> 00:55:10,141 – Isn't that kind of passive? – Son, we have a system. 655 00:55:10,308 --> 00:55:12,518 Officer, there's gotta be something you can do-- 656 00:55:12,685 --> 00:55:15,730 – Sheriff. – Sheriff, I'm sorry. 657 00:55:15,980 --> 00:55:17,315 I'm really worried about her. 658 00:55:17,482 --> 00:55:19,734 McGRAW: We have a lot of missing persons around here. 659 00:55:19,901 --> 00:55:23,070 I know. I mean, what if they're not missing, you know? 660 00:55:23,237 --> 00:55:24,739 It could be something else. 661 00:55:24,906 --> 00:55:26,991 Son, hit the road. We have a system. 662 00:55:27,158 --> 00:55:28,743 [PHONE RINGING] 663 00:55:30,328 --> 00:55:32,580 Luna Bay. Sheriff McGraw. 664 00:55:33,039 --> 00:55:34,707 Really? How big? 665 00:55:35,124 --> 00:55:37,752 Yeah, last week I caught about a 25-pounder. 666 00:55:43,090 --> 00:55:46,677 [JON WHISTLING «IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING»] 667 00:55:48,721 --> 00:55:51,098 JON: Not very helpful, huh? 668 00:55:52,183 --> 00:55:55,311 Yeah, I was gonna ask them if they could help us find Lisa. 669 00:55:55,478 --> 00:55:58,147 Haven't seen her in a couple of days. 670 00:55:59,148 --> 00:56:02,610 Hey, didn't I see you with her last? 671 00:56:04,654 --> 00:56:06,364 Where's my sister, man? 672 00:56:06,531 --> 00:56:09,116 Oh, yeah, your sister. 673 00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:10,993 Man, I saw her like an hour ago. 674 00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,454 She looked like she was having a really good time. 675 00:56:13,621 --> 00:56:15,122 Where the hell is my sister, man? 676 00:56:15,289 --> 00:56:19,001 Oh, hey, hey. Relax, little man, okay? 677 00:56:19,168 --> 00:56:23,589 Trust me when I tell you this is, right here, a time that you wanna keep your cool… 678 00:56:23,756 --> 00:56:26,259 …if you ever wanna see Nicole again. 679 00:56:33,516 --> 00:56:35,059 What do you want? 680 00:56:36,394 --> 00:56:38,145 It's not what I want, bro… 681 00:56:38,771 --> 00:56:41,023 …it's what Shane wants. 682 00:56:42,567 --> 00:56:44,485 Get in the car. 683 00:57:09,927 --> 00:57:14,015 [JON WHISTLING «IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING»] 684 00:57:26,152 --> 00:57:27,320 [HOWLS] 685 00:57:30,948 --> 00:57:32,950 How's it, ladies? 686 00:57:36,829 --> 00:57:39,540 Mr. Vampire Slayer, how you doing? 687 00:57:39,749 --> 00:57:41,417 CHRIS: You okay? 688 00:57:41,792 --> 00:57:43,210 I'm good. 689 00:57:43,377 --> 00:57:45,171 I'm really good. 690 00:57:49,300 --> 00:57:51,552 Sorry about last night, man. 691 00:57:52,678 --> 00:57:55,097 You were protecting your sister. 692 00:57:56,057 --> 00:57:57,725 I get it. 693 00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:01,145 But I'd never do anything to hurt her. 694 00:58:01,312 --> 00:58:07,568 In fact, once you understand it a little more, you'll see I've given Nicole a gift. 695 00:58:10,071 --> 00:58:13,532 Do you know how much the fear of death has limited you, Chris? 696 00:58:13,699 --> 00:58:16,327 The negative impact it's had on your life? 697 00:58:17,370 --> 00:58:19,622 You're probably not even aware of it. 698 00:58:19,789 --> 00:58:23,959 And I'm not just talking about the fear of your own death, no. 699 00:58:24,710 --> 00:58:28,756 Look at what the fear of losing your loved ones has done to you. 700 00:58:29,924 --> 00:58:32,301 You've been so worried about losing Nicole… 701 00:58:32,468 --> 00:58:36,681 …that it's made you paranoid and overprotective. 702 00:58:37,973 --> 00:58:40,643 I can take that fear away. 703 00:58:41,018 --> 00:58:44,688 I can make you part of a real family, Chris. 704 00:58:45,481 --> 00:58:47,942 One that never dies. 705 00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:53,864 Kyle's human family wrote him off a long time ago. 706 00:58:54,281 --> 00:58:56,867 They thought he was suicidal. 707 00:58:57,034 --> 00:58:59,203 But I saw him for what he truly was… 708 00:58:59,745 --> 00:59:02,164 …an adrenaline junkie. 709 00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:07,712 Erik, well, the less we say about his past, the better. 710 00:59:07,878 --> 00:59:12,133 We wouldn't wanna make you an accessory after the fact, now would we? 711 00:59:13,426 --> 00:59:16,720 And Jonny boy, well… 712 00:59:17,304 --> 00:59:21,767 …after you shattered his knee, he was never supposed to surf again. 713 00:59:23,144 --> 00:59:24,270 Look at him now. 714 00:59:25,312 --> 00:59:26,814 Stronger than ever, bro. 715 00:59:28,441 --> 00:59:32,194 But for you to truly understand what we are, Chris… 716 00:59:32,361 --> 00:59:35,281 …you have to see the world the way we do. 717 00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:38,367 You and your sister… 718 00:59:38,701 --> 00:59:40,828 …will never grow old… 719 00:59:41,203 --> 00:59:44,665 …you'll never die and you'll never know fear again. 720 00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,294 But you have to take that first step. 721 01:00:03,434 --> 01:00:04,810 And what's that? 722 01:00:06,687 --> 01:00:10,566 It's a little something me and the boys came up with. 723 01:00:26,540 --> 01:00:29,210 [YELLING] 724 01:00:38,219 --> 01:00:40,930 Warriors. 725 01:00:42,139 --> 01:00:45,142 – What the--? – Come out to play. 726 01:00:45,309 --> 01:00:46,894 Let's go. 727 01:01:07,748 --> 01:01:09,124 Oh, shit. 728 01:01:09,291 --> 01:01:11,585 Now! Now! 729 01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:35,109 JON: Yo, hold up. 730 01:01:37,945 --> 01:01:40,322 SHANE: Let him out, Kyle. 731 01:01:58,173 --> 01:01:59,466 How do you like that, bitch? 732 01:02:01,385 --> 01:02:02,636 Go, go. 733 01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:34,001 SHANE: Jump it, Chris. 734 01:02:44,803 --> 01:02:46,180 JON: Fuck you! 735 01:02:46,347 --> 01:02:49,016 – Fuck you. – Yeah. 736 01:03:02,154 --> 01:03:04,031 Fuck you! 737 01:03:14,333 --> 01:03:16,210 [YELLING] 738 01:03:17,503 --> 01:03:18,962 KYLE: How do you like that? 739 01:03:19,129 --> 01:03:21,715 Hey, on top of the world, Ma. 740 01:03:28,430 --> 01:03:29,556 ERIK: Hold on, brother. 741 01:03:29,723 --> 01:03:32,434 It's a private club and you're not a member. 742 01:03:32,601 --> 01:03:34,812 SHANE: Not yet, anyway. 743 01:03:37,648 --> 01:03:38,816 Well, what if I say yes? 744 01:03:40,192 --> 01:03:42,695 Think long and hard about it, Chris. 745 01:03:42,861 --> 01:03:46,240 Once you join the tribe, there's no turning back. 746 01:03:50,035 --> 01:03:52,830 [AIRBOURNE'S «TOO MUCH, TOO YOUNG, TOO FAST» PLAYS ON CAR STEREO] 747 01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:59,211 [MUSIC STOPS] 748 01:04:04,633 --> 01:04:06,802 JULIAN: Your check bounced. 749 01:04:07,511 --> 01:04:10,806 No, it's--1 transferred some money from one account to the other, so-- 750 01:04:10,973 --> 01:04:14,977 Save the bull for your buddies. I'm gonna need a new security deposit immediately. 751 01:04:15,144 --> 01:04:18,605 It's gonna need to be in the form of a cashier's check or a money order. 752 01:04:18,772 --> 01:04:21,442 Maybe this is my fault. Maybe I gave the wrong impression. 753 01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:24,236 Come on, it's not that big of a deal. Just wait two days. 754 01:04:24,403 --> 01:04:27,614 Just let me finish. Could you please take your sunglasses off? 755 01:04:27,781 --> 01:04:29,950 I can't talk to you unless I can see your eyes. 756 01:04:30,117 --> 01:04:33,245 Look, I didn't want you guys to feel like I was trying to step in… 757 01:04:33,412 --> 01:04:36,832 …and act like your parents, but that doesn't mean you can go crazy here. 758 01:04:36,999 --> 01:04:41,587 I saw your sister had a guy over last night. How old is she? 759 01:04:42,296 --> 01:04:45,048 – She's almost, like, 18. – That means she's 17 years old. 760 01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:48,594 And you coming and going at all hours of the day and night… 761 01:04:48,761 --> 01:04:51,346 You know, I have a reputation to think of, I-- 762 01:04:51,513 --> 01:04:53,640 I realize I am not your mother, but- 763 01:04:53,807 --> 01:04:57,603 But you-- Doesn't mean you can behave like this on my property. 764 01:04:57,770 --> 01:04:59,646 All right, I'm sorry. 765 01:05:02,816 --> 01:05:04,735 Yeah, me too. 766 01:05:06,820 --> 01:05:09,990 Partying all night, sleeping all day. 767 01:05:10,157 --> 01:05:12,951 You both need to quit acting like a couple of vampires. 768 01:05:24,129 --> 01:05:26,507 his is ridiculous. 769 01:05:47,986 --> 01:05:50,155 SHANE: You and your sister… 770 01:05:50,447 --> 01:05:52,449 …will never grow old… 771 01:05:52,991 --> 01:05:56,411 …you'll never die and you'll never know fear again. 772 01:05:58,705 --> 01:06:00,999 [CAR HORN HONKING] 773 01:06:53,343 --> 01:06:56,597 JON: You're sharking it, man, you're sharking it. 774 01:06:57,514 --> 01:06:59,099 KYLE: Who wants some? 775 01:06:59,266 --> 01:07:00,893 JON: Now you ask? 776 01:07:01,059 --> 01:07:03,687 – Where we headed? SHANE: Devil’s Reef. 777 01:07:03,854 --> 01:07:06,607 I hear it's firing right now. 778 01:07:06,857 --> 01:07:10,903 – We're paddling out tonight? – Yeah, why not? 779 01:07:11,069 --> 01:07:14,114 CHRIS: There's no moon, bet we're not gonna see anything. 780 01:07:14,281 --> 01:07:16,325 [VAMPIRES LAUGHING] 781 01:07:17,576 --> 01:07:19,786 What, you guys have night vision or something? 782 01:07:19,953 --> 01:07:22,289 ERIK: What kind of night vision you chatting about, boy? 783 01:07:22,456 --> 01:07:25,959 – Can't you turn yourselves into bats? – Way too many movies, bro. 784 01:07:26,126 --> 01:07:29,296 Yeah, we don't have night vision, Chris. 785 01:07:29,796 --> 01:07:33,926 Bats, they don't actually have night vision either, they have sonar. 786 01:07:34,092 --> 01:07:35,677 SHANE: You know what? You're half right. 787 01:07:35,844 --> 01:07:38,639 Like I told you before, we do see things differently. 788 01:07:39,139 --> 01:07:40,974 Kind of like you're about to. 789 01:07:45,812 --> 01:07:48,774 After you have a little taste of this. 790 01:08:15,342 --> 01:08:18,011 [VAMPIRES YELL] 791 01:08:18,178 --> 01:08:20,305 [BANGING] 792 01:08:31,024 --> 01:08:32,985 ERIK: Bye, boy. 793 01:08:46,832 --> 01:08:50,294 – You haven't seen anything yet, Chris. ERIK: No, you ain't. You're not done yet. 794 01:08:50,460 --> 01:08:53,880 Wait till you see the girls we got waiting for us at the reef, bro. 795 01:08:57,801 --> 01:09:00,053 It's gonna be crazy, bro. 796 01:09:00,971 --> 01:09:03,807 Crazy. 797 01:09:21,658 --> 01:09:24,161 [PEOPLE LAUGHING] 798 01:09:28,373 --> 01:09:30,584 All right, my turn. 799 01:09:33,837 --> 01:09:36,048 ERIK: Did you ever hear of getting your own thing? 800 01:09:36,214 --> 01:09:38,300 KYLE: Did you ever hear of shutting the hell up? 801 01:09:38,467 --> 01:09:40,969 ERIK: You mind yourself, boy. Mister, ease off. 802 01:09:41,136 --> 01:09:42,554 All right, enough. 803 01:09:42,721 --> 01:09:43,930 [KYLE CHEERING] 804 01:09:44,097 --> 01:09:45,932 What? What, what? 805 01:09:46,099 --> 01:09:47,267 KYLE: Camera, please. 806 01:09:48,101 --> 01:09:49,603 All right, girls. 807 01:09:49,770 --> 01:09:51,897 Show me something that I can't find on YouTube. 808 01:09:52,064 --> 01:09:53,190 WOMAN 1: That's you. 809 01:09:53,940 --> 01:09:55,609 Nice. Go, go, go. 810 01:09:55,776 --> 01:09:59,321 KYLE: What's that? That's what I'm talking about. 811 01:09:59,488 --> 01:10:00,906 What about you, sweet thing? 812 01:10:01,073 --> 01:10:03,450 – You gonna let her step you up like that? WOMAN 2: No. 813 01:10:03,992 --> 01:10:06,620 WOMAN 3: What has she got? – What do you got for me? 814 01:10:06,787 --> 01:10:08,330 KYLE: Oh, shit. 815 01:10:08,497 --> 01:10:12,167 Oh, yes. That's sexy, but still that's something I could see… 816 01:10:12,334 --> 01:10:15,670 …on my Girls Gone Wild box set, so… 817 01:10:18,965 --> 01:10:20,258 …I dare you guys to kiss. 818 01:10:20,425 --> 01:10:22,094 – Double dare? KYLE: Double dare. 819 01:10:25,764 --> 01:10:28,225 KYLE: Oh, fuck, are you seeing this? Seriously, watch. 820 01:10:30,477 --> 01:10:31,770 think so. 821 01:10:35,816 --> 01:10:37,067 SHANE: Guys? JON: Oh, hey. 822 01:10:37,234 --> 01:10:39,402 – We're out of here. – Where are you going? 823 01:10:39,569 --> 01:10:41,613 Back to our place… 824 01:10:41,780 --> 01:10:43,490 –… For a drink. – I'll come with you. 825 01:10:43,657 --> 01:10:46,326 SHANE: No, hang back, Chris, there's plenty for you to do here. 826 01:10:46,493 --> 01:10:50,330 Besides, this is Nicole's time. 827 01:10:59,214 --> 01:11:00,590 KYLE: Just have a seat, man. 828 01:11:02,134 --> 01:11:03,927 JON: Attaboy. 829 01:11:21,027 --> 01:11:22,362 So check this out. 830 01:11:23,196 --> 01:11:27,534 Do you know that salt water and blood are basically the same thing? 831 01:11:27,909 --> 01:11:29,411 It's true. 832 01:11:29,578 --> 01:11:32,789 There's a French biologist that did this experiment on a stray dog… 833 01:11:32,956 --> 01:11:34,875 …around the turn of the century. 834 01:11:35,041 --> 01:11:39,045 He drained all the blood out of the dog and replaced it with diluted seawater… 835 01:11:39,212 --> 01:11:42,883 …and everybody thought that this dog was gonna die. 836 01:11:43,425 --> 01:11:45,177 Except the dog didn't. 837 01:11:45,343 --> 01:11:49,389 What they found is that all the missing blood had regenerated. 838 01:11:49,723 --> 01:11:52,058 he saltwater became blood. 839 01:11:52,267 --> 01:11:57,522 And after that, the dog was more alive and vibrant than it ever had been before. 840 01:11:58,773 --> 01:12:03,236 The dog went on to live a long and very healthy life. 841 01:12:09,910 --> 01:12:12,078 To long life, Chris. 842 01:12:25,717 --> 01:12:27,427 Let me try some of that. 843 01:12:28,428 --> 01:12:31,431 JON: I don't really think you'd find it too much to your liking. 844 01:12:31,598 --> 01:12:34,059 You might wanna just stick with the beer. 845 01:12:38,480 --> 01:12:43,109 So what exactly was the point of your very long and boring story, Jon? 846 01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:45,278 KYLE: Basically, what he's trying to say is… 847 01:12:45,445 --> 01:12:47,239 …we're vampires. 848 01:12:47,405 --> 01:12:48,782 [WOMEN LAUGH] 849 01:12:48,949 --> 01:12:52,494 – Ooh. Scary. – No, but seriously… 850 01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:55,539 [IN DEMONIC VOICE] …we're vampires. 851 01:12:55,705 --> 01:12:57,832 [WOMEN SCREAMING] 852 01:13:02,254 --> 01:13:04,047 Help me! 853 01:13:06,633 --> 01:13:07,634 No, no, no. 854 01:13:08,927 --> 01:13:11,388 WOMAN: No, please. 855 01:13:18,895 --> 01:13:20,480 Let me go. 856 01:13:20,647 --> 01:13:22,232 Shut the fuck up. 857 01:13:22,399 --> 01:13:24,025 [SCREAMING] 858 01:13:24,192 --> 01:13:26,111 CHRIS: No, no, no. 859 01:13:29,406 --> 01:13:32,826 I'm thinking I love this girl. Oh, fuck, I love this girl. 860 01:13:35,662 --> 01:13:37,664 Do it. 861 01:13:40,250 --> 01:13:43,587 Do it! 862 01:13:44,629 --> 01:13:46,798 Run. Go. 863 01:13:46,965 --> 01:13:48,466 Come on. 864 01:14:14,117 --> 01:14:15,535 You're fucked up, bro. 865 01:14:15,702 --> 01:14:19,539 Shane's not around to save your ass and I've had it with your attitude. 866 01:14:29,341 --> 01:14:31,885 Guess you think I'm kidding you, bud… 867 01:14:33,053 --> 01:14:34,721 …but it ain't so. 868 01:14:35,472 --> 01:14:38,641 Where's Shane now, bi—? Fuck. 869 01:15:11,257 --> 01:15:13,927 You ain't got no fucking stick now, do you? 870 01:15:15,637 --> 01:15:16,930 Come on, let's finish this. 871 01:15:17,097 --> 01:15:18,765 EDGAR: Hey! 872 01:15:20,433 --> 01:15:21,601 Who ordered the stake? 873 01:15:25,605 --> 01:15:27,315 Are you cool? 874 01:15:27,482 --> 01:15:28,775 Yeah, I'm cool. 875 01:15:28,942 --> 01:15:32,278 I said, are you cool? 876 01:15:32,445 --> 01:15:33,780 Show me your teeth. 877 01:15:33,947 --> 01:15:35,615 said I'm cool. 878 01:15:35,782 --> 01:15:38,618 And I said, show me your teeth. 879 01:15:39,953 --> 01:15:43,540 am cool. 880 01:15:43,957 --> 01:15:46,960 Yeah, I can see that. 881 01:15:47,419 --> 01:15:49,838 We don't have time for this shit, Eddie. 882 01:15:50,004 --> 01:15:53,258 We have to get to the nest and get my sister before she feeds. 883 01:15:55,802 --> 01:15:58,096 That's what I'm talking about. 884 01:16:00,640 --> 01:16:02,725 I hate fucking vampires. 885 01:16:05,270 --> 01:16:07,897 [EDGAR SPEAKING IN LATIN] 886 01:16:14,320 --> 01:16:15,572 What are you doing, man? 887 01:16:15,738 --> 01:16:17,699 Turning this into holy water. 888 01:16:17,866 --> 01:16:20,243 – I'm a minister. – You're a minister? 889 01:16:20,410 --> 01:16:22,203 Yup. I got ordained online. 890 01:16:22,370 --> 01:16:26,249 I'm officially recognized by the International Association of Online Ministers… 891 01:16:26,416 --> 01:16:30,628 …as the Honorable Reverend Edgar Frog, the vampire hunter. 892 01:16:30,795 --> 01:16:32,255 Did you study for that? 893 01:16:32,422 --> 01:16:35,300 No. I went to the website, filled out a couple forms… 894 01:16:35,467 --> 01:16:36,759 …and clicked «Ordain Me.» 895 01:16:36,926 --> 01:16:41,306 Now, before going into battle, there's a few things that you need to be briefed on. 896 01:16:41,473 --> 01:16:44,934 First of all, when a vampire buys it, it's never a pretty sight. 897 01:16:45,101 --> 01:16:47,145 No two bloodsuckers go out the same way. 898 01:16:47,312 --> 01:16:50,440 Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode… 899 01:16:50,607 --> 01:16:52,692 …but all will try to take you with them. 900 01:16:52,859 --> 01:16:55,195 As far as your arsenal of vamp artillery: 901 01:16:55,361 --> 01:16:56,488 We got stakes. 902 01:16:56,654 --> 01:16:59,365 Got some wooden ones, got some metal ones… 903 01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:01,409 …and some carbon-fibers. 904 01:17:01,576 --> 01:17:03,995 I like the resins, they're light and easy to handle. 905 01:17:04,162 --> 01:17:07,624 That said, there's nothing as good as the old-fashioned, classic wood job. 906 01:17:07,790 --> 01:17:10,043 Safe, sturdy, reliable. 907 01:17:10,210 --> 01:17:14,547 Next, we have my air-propelled-rocket grenade launcher for holy-water balloons. 908 01:17:14,714 --> 01:17:16,549 This is my baby, don't touch it. 909 01:17:16,716 --> 01:17:18,676 We also have one of these. 910 01:17:18,843 --> 01:17:21,304 – You know how to use this, right? – Yeah, totally. 911 01:17:21,471 --> 01:17:24,432 – Okay, good. – No, dude, I have no idea what that is. 912 01:17:24,599 --> 01:17:25,892 It's a garlic bolo. 913 01:17:27,310 --> 01:17:29,646 Never mind, I'll hold on to this one. 914 01:17:31,606 --> 01:17:34,234 Let's go kill some vampires. 915 01:17:58,633 --> 01:18:00,885 They know we're here. 916 01:18:26,286 --> 01:18:28,246 SHANE: Are you ready? 917 01:18:30,456 --> 01:18:33,543 NICOLE: I guess so. SHANE: You guess so? 918 01:18:36,921 --> 01:18:38,798 NICOLE: I know so. 919 01:18:45,096 --> 01:18:47,140 [MUFFLED SPEECH] 920 01:18:47,307 --> 01:18:49,225 Help me. 921 01:18:51,728 --> 01:18:53,396 Help me. 922 01:19:04,991 --> 01:19:06,743 You smell that? 923 01:19:09,203 --> 01:19:12,373 Smells like fungus or death. 924 01:19:14,083 --> 01:19:16,669 It's vampire BO. 925 01:19:51,371 --> 01:19:52,830 What? 926 01:19:54,123 --> 01:19:56,793 – What the hell are you talking about? – Just follow me. 927 01:20:10,390 --> 01:20:13,434 Nicole, help me. 928 01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:15,853 Evan. 929 01:20:20,316 --> 01:20:21,567 can't. 930 01:20:21,984 --> 01:20:24,237 You said you were ready. 931 01:20:25,196 --> 01:20:26,864 But I know him. 932 01:20:28,741 --> 01:20:31,828 Well, he's the only thing that still stands between us, Nicole. 933 01:20:31,995 --> 01:20:34,539 The only thing that stands between you and immortality. 934 01:20:34,706 --> 01:20:37,291 If you wanna be with me… 935 01:20:37,458 --> 01:20:38,710 …if you love me… 936 01:20:38,876 --> 01:20:40,920 …you'll do this. 937 01:21:03,568 --> 01:21:05,653 [CHRIS SCREAMS] 938 01:21:06,863 --> 01:21:09,198 Quiet, man, you'll wake the dead. 939 01:21:09,365 --> 01:21:10,783 Chris. 940 01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:13,119 Chris. 941 01:21:16,372 --> 01:21:17,999 Chris. 942 01:21:18,583 --> 01:21:19,792 Shit. 943 01:21:19,959 --> 01:21:23,129 What part of «stay together» don't you understand? 944 01:22:41,541 --> 01:22:43,709 I smell ugly. 945 01:22:43,876 --> 01:22:45,920 [KYLE HOOTING] 946 01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:02,061 EDGAR: Chris. 947 01:23:04,522 --> 01:23:06,148 Come on, Chris. 948 01:23:06,315 --> 01:23:07,733 KYLE: Chris isn't here, Eddie… 949 01:23:08,150 --> 01:23:09,652 …but your brother is. 950 01:23:09,819 --> 01:23:11,737 Where are you? 951 01:23:18,452 --> 01:23:20,162 Yup, it's ugly. 952 01:23:22,206 --> 01:23:23,583 Missed. 953 01:23:29,130 --> 01:23:31,382 Pop goes the weasel. 954 01:23:56,782 --> 01:23:58,451 NICOLE: Chris. 955 01:24:00,328 --> 01:24:02,705 Stay forever. 956 01:24:02,872 --> 01:24:05,416 Live forever. 957 01:24:05,583 --> 01:24:08,461 Stay with family. 958 01:24:08,628 --> 01:24:09,879 Chris. 959 01:24:12,381 --> 01:24:13,716 SHANE: Chris. 960 01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:16,552 Welcome. 961 01:24:18,971 --> 01:24:20,264 [SCREAMS] 962 01:24:24,477 --> 01:24:27,063 [GRUNTING] 963 01:24:35,613 --> 01:24:36,656 Chris. 964 01:24:39,492 --> 01:24:43,162 I've been waiting to meet someone like you for quite some time, Chris. 965 01:24:43,329 --> 01:24:46,666 Someone that would push the boundaries, someone that would challenge me. 966 01:24:46,832 --> 01:24:49,001 – I saw that in you. NICOLE: Chris. 967 01:24:53,839 --> 01:24:56,217 I don't wanna lose my brother. 968 01:24:56,759 --> 01:24:59,095 Come on, taking in someone's essence… 969 01:24:59,261 --> 01:25:01,347 …consuming living human blood… 970 01:25:01,514 --> 01:25:03,683 …that's the real rush. 971 01:25:15,486 --> 01:25:16,529 NICOLE: No! 972 01:25:16,696 --> 01:25:17,780 Shane! 973 01:25:21,951 --> 01:25:23,869 No. Shane. Stop. 974 01:25:24,036 --> 01:25:26,998 You're killing him. Shane! 975 01:25:28,874 --> 01:25:30,376 No! 976 01:25:41,595 --> 01:25:42,847 SHANE: Nicole. 977 01:25:43,014 --> 01:25:44,849 Why? 978 01:25:45,016 --> 01:25:46,726 He's family, asshole. 979 01:25:49,061 --> 01:25:50,896 Shane. 980 01:25:53,816 --> 01:25:54,859 Shane, stop. 981 01:25:57,069 --> 01:25:58,946 [SCREAMING] 982 01:26:12,418 --> 01:26:14,003 SHANE: Nicole. 983 01:26:16,547 --> 01:26:18,257 Nicole. 984 01:26:18,424 --> 01:26:20,760 Nicole. 985 01:26:21,302 --> 01:26:23,262 Nicole. 986 01:26:37,485 --> 01:26:39,779 EDGAR: Build a man a fire… 987 01:26:40,404 --> 01:26:42,448 …and he's warm for a day. 988 01:26:43,657 --> 01:26:46,118 Light a man on fire… 989 01:26:47,161 --> 01:26:50,081 …and he's warm for the rest of his life. 990 01:27:02,468 --> 01:27:05,596 You'll be getting a bill for my services. 991 01:27:37,670 --> 01:27:41,090 – Thanks, Eddie. – Hey, it's what I do. 992 01:27:42,800 --> 01:27:44,343 And it's Edgar. 993 01:27:53,769 --> 01:27:55,271 Hey, is it--? 994 01:27:55,437 --> 01:27:57,314 Is it cool if I call you sometime? 995 01:27:57,481 --> 01:27:59,483 Uh… 996 01:28:00,025 --> 01:28:01,694 Okay. 997 01:28:03,028 --> 01:28:04,572 Yes! 998 01:28:13,914 --> 01:28:15,624 Whoo-hoo! 999 01:28:54,121 --> 01:28:56,916 This is completely unacceptable. 1000 01:28:57,791 --> 01:29:00,127 I know exactly what you've been up to. 1001 01:29:00,294 --> 01:29:03,756 I am telling you, it has to stop right now. 1002 01:29:03,923 --> 01:29:08,052 I will not stand by and watch two young people that I care about… 1003 01:29:08,219 --> 01:29:10,346 …fall into this trap, you hear me? 1004 01:29:14,183 --> 01:29:18,520 So if I so much as see one seed… 1005 01:29:18,979 --> 01:29:21,815 …or catch one whiff of reefer-- 1006 01:29:21,982 --> 01:29:24,693 And believe me, I know what it smells like. 1007 01:29:24,860 --> 01:29:26,237 – -I'm calling the cops. 1008 01:29:26,403 --> 01:29:31,575 No warning. We are talking zero tolerance, you got that? 1009 01:29:32,451 --> 01:29:35,663 End of discussion. 1010 01:30:30,676 --> 01:30:32,803 EDGAR: Cut the theatrics. 1011 01:30:33,679 --> 01:30:35,848 I know you're out there. 1012 01:30:36,015 --> 01:30:37,349 Show yourself. 1013 01:30:42,605 --> 01:30:44,690 That's a good way to get yourself staked, Sam. 1014 01:30:44,857 --> 01:30:46,859 MAN: Easy there, compadre. 1015 01:30:47,026 --> 01:30:49,028 After all the shit that you pulled? 1016 01:30:49,194 --> 01:30:54,158 I think you can at least hear me out. I mean, I feel like you owe me that. 1017 01:30:54,325 --> 01:30:57,369 You really expect me to act like nothing ever happened? 1018 01:30:57,536 --> 01:30:59,455 MAN: No, I've already forgiven you. 1019 01:30:59,622 --> 01:31:01,957 It's water under the bridge. 1020 01:31:02,458 --> 01:31:04,084 EDGAR: Stay there. 1021 01:31:04,251 --> 01:31:08,213 – You don't want it to go down like this. – Oh, it's going down like this. 1022 01:31:08,380 --> 01:31:09,715 I'm warning you. 1023 01:31:09,882 --> 01:31:11,508 Hey, I'm trembling. 1024 01:31:11,675 --> 01:31:13,510 [BOTH YELL] 1025 01:33:47,164 --> 01:33:49,166 [ENGLISH SDH] 76551

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