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1
00:00:07,855 --> 00:00:10,056
I kind of want to stay home
and watch "Procedure."
2
00:00:10,095 --> 00:00:11,228
You watch "Procedure" every night.
3
00:00:11,265 --> 00:00:12,998
I know.
I don't know why.
4
00:00:13,037 --> 00:00:14,903
But shows about rape and murder
just kind of put me to sleep.
5
00:00:14,942 --> 00:00:16,308
Not me.
6
00:00:16,345 --> 00:00:18,846
Plus, I don't really like David Caruso.
7
00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,117
David Caruso
is not in "Procedure."
8
00:00:20,155 --> 00:00:21,587
It's Mark Hamill.
9
00:00:21,609 --> 00:00:23,142
Yeah. The guy who was
the bad guy in "Ghost."
10
00:00:23,196 --> 00:00:24,445
Mnh-mnh.
That's Tony Goldwyn.
11
00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:25,932
Well, you know what I mean.
12
00:00:25,954 --> 00:00:27,654
You don't always have to correct me, you know.
13
00:00:27,709 --> 00:00:29,441
I know. I'm sorry.
I can't help it.
14
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:30,629
I think it's like a legit disease,
15
00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:32,416
like sex addiction or rickets.
16
00:00:32,454 --> 00:00:34,171
Correcting people is not a disease.
17
00:00:34,226 --> 00:00:35,726
It might be.
18
00:00:35,763 --> 00:00:38,180
Besides, I let way more things
go than I call you out on.
19
00:00:38,236 --> 00:00:39,652
Wait. Like what?
20
00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:41,107
Do you
really want to know? Yeah.
21
00:00:41,144 --> 00:00:43,244
Okay. Well, this morning
you said "The Ukraine"
22
00:00:43,284 --> 00:00:44,700
when it's just "Ukraine."
23
00:00:44,754 --> 00:00:46,670
There's no "the."
It's like saying "The New York."
24
00:00:46,709 --> 00:00:48,425
And then "Take On Me" came on the radio,
25
00:00:48,463 --> 00:00:50,046
and you sang,
"Take and See."
26
00:00:50,101 --> 00:00:51,467
That doesn't even make any sense.
27
00:00:51,504 --> 00:00:53,638
Neither does "Take On Me."
Oh, my God.
28
00:00:53,677 --> 00:00:55,811
Oh. It's Nick and that girl
that never talks.
29
00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:57,349
We've met her like a hundred times.
30
00:00:57,371 --> 00:00:58,820
She's never said a word.
It's so weird! I know.
31
00:00:58,857 --> 00:01:00,207
Hey!
Hi!
32
00:01:00,245 --> 00:01:01,628
What are you guys up to?
How are you guys?
33
00:01:01,665 --> 00:01:03,031
Friday night date night.
34
00:01:03,052 --> 00:01:04,701
Like we do it.
How about you guys? Yeah.
35
00:01:04,723 --> 00:01:07,057
Oh, yeah. We're going
on a date, too, actually.
36
00:01:07,096 --> 00:01:09,146
Nice. Just you guys
together. Cool.
37
00:01:09,185 --> 00:01:10,901
Yeah.
Oh, I mean not with each other.
38
00:01:10,939 --> 00:01:12,272
Like, with guys.
Like a blind date.
39
00:01:12,327 --> 00:01:14,411
It's like a double date.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
40
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:15,748
That's nice.
Well, you know what?
41
00:01:15,786 --> 00:01:17,419
I'm glad that you guys are getting out there
42
00:01:17,457 --> 00:01:20,425
because you guys both deserve
somebody as amazing as Jane.
43
00:01:20,465 --> 00:01:21,931
Aww.
Mm.
44
00:01:21,968 --> 00:01:23,635
How have you been, Jane?
45
00:01:26,431 --> 00:01:27,980
Yeah?
46
00:01:28,035 --> 00:01:29,868
What have you been up to, Jane?
47
00:01:33,950 --> 00:01:35,283
Just same old, same old.
You know?
48
00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:37,721
Working a lot.
Too much.
49
00:01:37,761 --> 00:01:39,845
Cool.
50
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,816
What is it you do again, Jane?
51
00:01:44,311 --> 00:01:45,660
She's still figuring it out.
52
00:01:45,699 --> 00:01:48,249
Yeah.
Awesome.
53
00:01:48,289 --> 00:01:50,589
But great seeing you guys.
You too.
54
00:01:50,628 --> 00:01:51,961
Have a great date tonight.
You too.
55
00:01:51,998 --> 00:01:53,381
Have fun.
All right.
56
00:01:53,435 --> 00:01:54,667
Good to see you, guys.
57
00:01:54,689 --> 00:01:56,222
Bye, guys.
Great talking to you, Jane.
58
00:01:56,276 --> 00:01:58,643
Oh, my God!
It's so weird!
59
00:01:58,682 --> 00:02:00,733
He must get so annoyed that she never talks.
60
00:02:00,789 --> 00:02:02,372
I know.
She's total beige curtains.
61
00:02:02,409 --> 00:02:04,692
What?
Like not good, not bad.
62
00:02:04,715 --> 00:02:06,966
Just there,
like curtains. Oh.
63
00:02:07,005 --> 00:02:08,972
I wonder if she took a vow of silence like the Pope.
64
00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:10,893
I think you mean monks.
65
00:02:10,932 --> 00:02:13,215
Sorry. I'll stop.
66
00:02:13,238 --> 00:02:14,854
Unless you want to know
some more, 'cause I have a lot.
67
00:02:14,892 --> 00:02:16,025
No, that's okay.
68
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,708
? You, yeah, you,
you're really cool ?
69
00:02:23,749 --> 00:02:25,383
? You can be anything
you wanna be ?
70
00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:28,221
? Time to fly,
I'm talking to you ?
71
00:02:28,261 --> 00:02:29,978
? No hablo Espa�ol ?
72
00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:32,233
? Let's see you move forward,
stand your ground ?
73
00:02:32,272 --> 00:02:34,272
? Hang in there
while you're doing it ?
74
00:02:34,294 --> 00:02:36,911
? and sail away
into the sunset, baby ?
75
00:02:36,950 --> 00:02:39,918
? Dream your dreams
into the sky ?
76
00:02:39,958 --> 00:02:42,593
? Oh, yeah, you really got it,
yeah, now you really got it ?
77
00:02:42,633 --> 00:02:44,266
? Yeah, hey,
you really got it, yeah ?
78
00:02:44,303 --> 00:02:46,237
? Don't stop being cool ?
79
00:02:47,663 --> 00:02:49,829
Wonder who the first person was
to try contact lenses.
80
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:51,285
Oh, I know.
81
00:02:51,322 --> 00:02:52,922
Who was like, "Oh, yeah.
I'll put glass in my eye.
82
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,843
I'll risk it."
83
00:02:54,882 --> 00:02:57,849
God, I cannot stop thinking about Jane.
84
00:02:57,890 --> 00:02:59,523
What's there to think about?
85
00:02:59,561 --> 00:03:01,194
Like, I can't tell if she's like a dud
86
00:03:01,231 --> 00:03:03,148
or if she's brilliant, you know?
87
00:03:03,187 --> 00:03:05,538
I can't help but
wonder if she's pulling a "Little Mermaid."
88
00:03:05,577 --> 00:03:07,661
What, like she saved Nick
from drowning or something,
89
00:03:07,699 --> 00:03:09,031
and that's why he likes her?
90
00:03:09,052 --> 00:03:11,202
No. Like, you know
in "The Little Mermaid"
91
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,891
how Ariel traded her voice for legs,
92
00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:14,396
and that's how she got the prince?
93
00:03:14,433 --> 00:03:16,717
I never really thought about it like that before.
94
00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:18,189
I've thought a lot
about "The Little Mermaid."
95
00:03:18,227 --> 00:03:19,744
Really?
Yeah.
96
00:03:19,781 --> 00:03:22,115
I thought that was the whole point of the movie.
97
00:03:23,574 --> 00:03:25,290
So, wait.
98
00:03:25,346 --> 00:03:28,246
You think Jane is deliberately not talking.
99
00:03:28,270 --> 00:03:30,086
Yeah.
And it's working.
100
00:03:30,108 --> 00:03:32,559
No. I am sorry, but
that is not what guys like Nick want.
101
00:03:32,598 --> 00:03:34,148
You know, most guys want a partner...
102
00:03:34,203 --> 00:03:35,769
Someone they're not gonna get bored with.
103
00:03:35,791 --> 00:03:38,491
The older I get, the less true I think that is.
104
00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:41,835
Wait.
105
00:03:42,958 --> 00:03:45,009
What if we like try it?
106
00:03:45,065 --> 00:03:46,514
Try what?
107
00:03:46,568 --> 00:03:47,901
Pulling a "Little Mermaid."
108
00:03:47,939 --> 00:03:49,439
We won't say anything and see how they respond,
109
00:03:49,476 --> 00:03:50,992
just as, like, an experiment.
110
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,980
No. I don't know if I want
to tank my date like that.
111
00:03:53,002 --> 00:03:54,285
What if I really like the guy?
112
00:03:54,322 --> 00:03:56,039
Oh, you won't.
Karen fixed us up.
113
00:03:56,094 --> 00:03:57,677
That's a good point.
Okay.
114
00:03:57,715 --> 00:03:59,014
So, wait.
115
00:03:59,052 --> 00:04:01,135
So, like, we just don't talk a lot?
116
00:04:01,173 --> 00:04:03,808
No. We don't talk at all
117
00:04:03,848 --> 00:04:05,180
just to see how long we can go
118
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:06,484
before it gets really awkward.
119
00:04:06,521 --> 00:04:08,571
Okay. Yeah.
120
00:04:08,627 --> 00:04:09,993
But there is no way
121
00:04:10,030 --> 00:04:11,864
that this is gonna last more than five minutes.
122
00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:13,719
Wait.
123
00:04:13,757 --> 00:04:15,140
Why is she called "The Little Mermaid"?
124
00:04:15,178 --> 00:04:17,428
She's like
a full-grown mermaid, right?
125
00:04:24,536 --> 00:04:26,002
Ugh.
It smells like beer in here.
126
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,290
I hate beer.
127
00:04:27,344 --> 00:04:28,877
Okay. How are we gonna know
who they are?
128
00:04:28,914 --> 00:04:30,380
I don't know.
129
00:04:31,922 --> 00:04:34,222
Ooh.
I'll take the hot one.
130
00:04:34,261 --> 00:04:35,611
I'll take the other hot one.
131
00:04:35,648 --> 00:04:37,398
So, what?
Like, we don't say anything
132
00:04:37,436 --> 00:04:38,602
for like five whole minutes?
133
00:04:38,623 --> 00:04:41,106
Or as long as we can hold out.
134
00:04:41,130 --> 00:04:43,047
Hi! Hi.
I'm Matthew.
135
00:04:43,085 --> 00:04:45,336
Hey, I'm Darren.
It's very nice to meet you.
136
00:04:45,392 --> 00:04:46,624
I like your jacket.
137
00:04:46,645 --> 00:04:48,061
Thanks for coming, guys.
138
00:04:48,098 --> 00:04:49,314
At first I thought it was pretty weird
139
00:04:49,352 --> 00:04:50,634
to do a double blind date.
140
00:04:50,655 --> 00:04:52,188
But then I thought about it.
141
00:04:52,243 --> 00:04:54,443
And it's just a bunch of friends hanging out, right?
142
00:04:54,482 --> 00:04:56,282
Yeah. Just friends
who don't know each other.
143
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,420
Those kinds of friends.
144
00:04:58,342 --> 00:05:00,843
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah!
145
00:05:00,882 --> 00:05:02,382
Yeah!
Yeah!
146
00:05:02,437 --> 00:05:03,886
All right!
147
00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:05,006
Whoo!
Sorry.
148
00:05:05,027 --> 00:05:06,226
I got money on the game.
149
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:07,512
You want another pitcher of beer?
150
00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:09,516
Beer's good.
I like... yeah, beer.
151
00:05:09,538 --> 00:05:12,039
All right. Trish.
Trish!
152
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,495
Hey, Trish?
153
00:05:13,532 --> 00:05:15,382
Trish!
154
00:05:15,421 --> 00:05:17,304
Trish!
155
00:05:17,342 --> 00:05:18,725
Trish!
156
00:05:18,763 --> 00:05:20,313
Can we have another pitcher of beer?
157
00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:21,716
Thank you.
158
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,271
So, you're probably wondering how we met.
159
00:05:23,325 --> 00:05:25,275
Oh, yeah.
160
00:05:25,331 --> 00:05:26,897
We've known each other since third grade.
161
00:05:26,918 --> 00:05:28,034
It's a great story, actually.
162
00:05:28,071 --> 00:05:29,954
Yeah.
I dared this guy...
163
00:05:30,009 --> 00:05:30,875
Yeah!
Yes!
164
00:05:30,912 --> 00:05:32,211
Yes!
Yes!
165
00:05:35,057 --> 00:05:36,639
All right.
166
00:05:36,694 --> 00:05:38,643
So, uh, well, basically,
167
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:42,101
I dared this guy to eat an entire bottle of paste.
168
00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:44,959
And I pissed myself, I was so
scared when he started to do it.
169
00:05:44,999 --> 00:05:47,083
So, I look him in the eyes, and I say,
170
00:05:47,122 --> 00:05:50,623
"This isn't contract law."
171
00:05:50,647 --> 00:05:52,981
So, I had this terrible pain in both my feet
172
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,153
for a week and a half.
173
00:05:54,190 --> 00:05:55,573
Oh, my God.
That reminds me.
174
00:05:55,611 --> 00:05:57,244
I had the craziest dream the other night.
175
00:05:57,281 --> 00:05:58,647
Thor is a God.
176
00:05:58,669 --> 00:06:01,120
Iron Man is just a billionaire in a suit.
177
00:06:01,159 --> 00:06:04,343
It's the difference between
Bruce Wayne and Zeus Wayne.
178
00:06:04,384 --> 00:06:07,051
Why does cotton feel the need to advertise?
179
00:06:07,108 --> 00:06:09,776
Top three equestrian magazines, in order...
180
00:06:09,815 --> 00:06:11,031
"Practical Horseman"...
181
00:06:11,068 --> 00:06:13,402
Yes! Yes!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
182
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:15,458
Every accounting department's got a Greg, right?
183
00:06:15,496 --> 00:06:18,380
And our Greg is no exception.
184
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:21,138
You've got to meet this guy.
185
00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:25,217
Wow.
186
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,656
I mean, I wanted to be right,
187
00:06:26,693 --> 00:06:28,326
but I didn't want to be that right.
188
00:06:28,364 --> 00:06:29,780
Yeah.
I'm starving.
189
00:06:29,835 --> 00:06:31,501
Oh. Me too.
190
00:06:31,539 --> 00:06:33,039
I'm trying to decide between cupcakes for dinner
191
00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:34,459
and no dinner.
192
00:06:34,514 --> 00:06:36,380
Remember the time we bought a green pepper?
193
00:06:36,418 --> 00:06:38,018
Mm.
We were so optimistic.
194
00:06:38,057 --> 00:06:40,357
Yeah.
195
00:06:44,624 --> 00:06:45,790
Hi.
196
00:06:45,827 --> 00:06:49,045
Oh!
Thank you.
197
00:06:49,086 --> 00:06:51,452
Oh, my God.
These are from Matthew.
198
00:06:51,475 --> 00:06:52,808
"Got your address from Karen.
199
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:54,228
"Sorry if this is too forward,
200
00:06:54,266 --> 00:06:56,349
but I wanted you
to have something special."
201
00:06:56,405 --> 00:06:57,938
What?
Ew!
202
00:06:57,976 --> 00:06:59,743
And Darren
just sent me an e-mail
203
00:06:59,781 --> 00:07:01,197
about how much he loved hanging out
204
00:07:01,251 --> 00:07:03,118
and that he has a great feeling about us.
205
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,872
Oh, my God.
Ugh!
206
00:07:04,928 --> 00:07:06,177
I can't believe it.
207
00:07:06,214 --> 00:07:07,513
Me neither.
208
00:07:07,551 --> 00:07:09,217
Okay. We have to go out
with them again.
209
00:07:09,272 --> 00:07:11,522
Oh, God. No.
That was awful.
210
00:07:11,562 --> 00:07:13,395
Yeah, but don't you want to see
how far we can take this?
211
00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:14,783
Like, how long can we go
212
00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:16,853
without them noticing we haven't said anything?
213
00:07:16,876 --> 00:07:18,459
We can't go on much longer.
214
00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:20,247
I mean, by the next date,
it's gonna get really weird.
215
00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:22,418
I don't think it will.
No, I think it will.
216
00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:24,808
I kind of don't think so.
Eh, I kind of think it will.
217
00:07:24,847 --> 00:07:26,764
I kind of don't think so.
Pretty sure it will.
218
00:07:28,223 --> 00:07:30,890
Okay. Yeah.
Let's do it.
219
00:07:30,913 --> 00:07:32,329
Yeah?
Yeah.
220
00:07:32,367 --> 00:07:33,565
But, wait.
221
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,453
Is it mean to like lead them on?
222
00:07:35,509 --> 00:07:37,125
No. It is their fault
223
00:07:37,179 --> 00:07:38,929
for not noticing we didn't say a word all night.
224
00:07:38,967 --> 00:07:40,917
Good point.
225
00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,139
Hmm.
226
00:07:42,193 --> 00:07:43,592
Wish I got flowers.
227
00:07:43,613 --> 00:07:45,313
Yeah.
228
00:07:45,368 --> 00:07:48,069
Maybe those are flowers for you.
229
00:07:50,883 --> 00:07:53,550
Hi.
230
00:07:53,589 --> 00:07:55,423
Oh.
231
00:07:55,462 --> 00:07:57,762
These are also for you.
232
00:07:59,138 --> 00:08:01,338
Yeah.
Wyatt Earp.
233
00:08:02,563 --> 00:08:04,864
That's how he got his name.
234
00:08:06,825 --> 00:08:08,741
Pretty cool, huh?
235
00:08:08,797 --> 00:08:10,413
Yeah.
My friend gave that to me.
236
00:08:10,468 --> 00:08:13,051
Somebody said it looks like
a butthole, but I don't see it.
237
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:14,224
Do you?
238
00:08:15,515 --> 00:08:18,649
Hey, um, thanks for seeing me again.
239
00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:21,056
I know that Darren can be kind of obnoxious.
240
00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:22,662
That's why I sent the double flowers.
241
00:08:22,701 --> 00:08:25,702
I guess I can be kind of standoffish, too,
242
00:08:25,742 --> 00:08:27,509
but it's just a defense mechanism.
243
00:08:27,547 --> 00:08:30,264
I have a lot of issues from my childhood.
244
00:08:30,304 --> 00:08:34,139
I-I don't usually tell people
that, but I don't know.
245
00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:37,282
I feel like I don't need to put up walls between us.
246
00:08:37,323 --> 00:08:40,040
I don't know why I'm spilling all this now.
247
00:08:40,079 --> 00:08:42,797
It's just...
You have soft eyes.
248
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,507
I'm an orphan.
249
00:08:46,564 --> 00:08:48,146
I don't usually tell people that
250
00:08:48,185 --> 00:08:49,651
'cause then they throw me some pity party,
251
00:08:49,688 --> 00:08:51,572
but my parents died in a fire,
252
00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:53,610
and I floated around
from foster home to foster home.
253
00:08:53,649 --> 00:08:55,249
But it wasn't a big deal.
254
00:08:55,286 --> 00:08:57,203
Like, nobody ever like touched
me or did anything weird,
255
00:08:57,259 --> 00:08:59,542
which I think gave me some negative body issues.
256
00:08:59,599 --> 00:09:01,599
But most people
257
00:09:01,637 --> 00:09:04,221
just can't imagine what it's
like to be an orphan, so...
258
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,359
You know what I mean?
259
00:09:05,397 --> 00:09:08,815
Wait.
Do you know what I mean?
260
00:09:08,856 --> 00:09:10,489
Oh, my God.
261
00:09:10,527 --> 00:09:11,910
You're an orphan.
262
00:09:13,084 --> 00:09:14,383
No, no, no.
It's okay.
263
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,720
You don't have to be secretive about it.
264
00:09:15,757 --> 00:09:18,058
I was secretive forever.
I...
265
00:09:18,097 --> 00:09:19,480
Look, if you're not an orphan,
266
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,068
then just look me in the eyes and tell me so.
267
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,531
I knew it.
268
00:09:26,569 --> 00:09:28,169
An orphan always knows.
269
00:09:28,207 --> 00:09:29,406
Come here.
270
00:09:29,427 --> 00:09:31,210
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
271
00:09:31,248 --> 00:09:32,598
It's not your fault.
272
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:38,309
You should stay the night...
273
00:09:38,368 --> 00:09:39,817
My little orphan.
274
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,404
Let me take care of you.
275
00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:43,993
It's about time somebody did.
276
00:09:44,049 --> 00:09:47,134
Right?
277
00:09:47,174 --> 00:09:50,959
The point I'm trying to make...
and let me, Marcus... Mm-hmm.
278
00:09:50,984 --> 00:09:52,650
...is that
there must have been a time
279
00:09:52,688 --> 00:09:55,356
when people were beating horses
to death... Mm-hmm.
280
00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:58,531
...and then just continued
to beat them postmortem
281
00:09:58,588 --> 00:10:00,287
for that phrase to become so commonplace.
282
00:10:00,325 --> 00:10:01,759
It's dark.
283
00:10:01,796 --> 00:10:02,995
Kate, what do you think?
284
00:10:07,177 --> 00:10:09,110
Who's thirsty?
285
00:10:09,149 --> 00:10:10,398
Got something for you.
286
00:10:10,453 --> 00:10:12,069
There you go, my lady.
287
00:10:12,123 --> 00:10:13,355
Oh.
288
00:10:13,376 --> 00:10:15,710
You have juice boxes.
289
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:16,715
Yeah.
They're for my sister.
290
00:10:16,752 --> 00:10:18,169
Hey. I got that.
Oh.
291
00:10:18,206 --> 00:10:19,806
He takes care of her.
That can be tough.
292
00:10:21,264 --> 00:10:23,681
There we go.
293
00:10:23,721 --> 00:10:24,937
Oh, yeah.
294
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:26,274
So, who wants to play a game?
295
00:10:26,328 --> 00:10:27,611
Oh.
Sure.
296
00:10:27,665 --> 00:10:29,064
How about Trivial Pursuit?
297
00:10:29,085 --> 00:10:32,402
Nah. Kate's not really
a Trivial Pursuit gal.
298
00:10:32,427 --> 00:10:34,961
How about, uh, Win, Lose or Draw?
299
00:10:35,017 --> 00:10:36,550
Yeah.
Win, Lose or Draw.
300
00:10:36,588 --> 00:10:41,024
I would rather play a fun game, but it's your house.
301
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,978
Come on, Kate.
Just say anything.
302
00:11:13,018 --> 00:11:14,735
Mm-mm, mm.
303
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,356
Mm-mm, mm.
304
00:11:16,378 --> 00:11:18,711
Eh. Huh?
305
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,466
All right. You know what?
Pass. Pass.
306
00:11:24,214 --> 00:11:25,764
Okay. Perfect.
307
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,518
All right. Yes.
308
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:28,739
Huh?
309
00:11:28,777 --> 00:11:31,727
It's... you...
it's the... look!
310
00:11:31,751 --> 00:11:33,785
It's...
And... Time.
311
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,623
It's the sun.
It's the sun. Mm.
312
00:11:35,678 --> 00:11:37,678
Once again, zero points for Kate and Darren.
313
00:11:37,717 --> 00:11:39,250
So glad we picked this game.
314
00:11:39,271 --> 00:11:40,970
Can we be done with this now?
315
00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:42,591
Who, uh, who wants a snack?
316
00:11:42,613 --> 00:11:44,780
Some ice cream or something?
I have ice cream.
317
00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:47,620
Ice cream? You want ice cream?
All right. Come on.
318
00:11:49,081 --> 00:11:52,115
I wish I liked anything as much
as she likes ice cream.
319
00:11:52,139 --> 00:11:53,955
I wish I liked Win, Lose or Draw.
320
00:11:53,977 --> 00:11:55,260
I wish we could adopt her.
321
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:56,646
Save it, Marcus.
322
00:11:56,684 --> 00:11:58,800
You don't understand.
323
00:11:58,823 --> 00:12:00,523
There's no way Darren's gonna call me again.
324
00:12:00,578 --> 00:12:02,111
I don't know.
No. I'm sorry.
325
00:12:02,148 --> 00:12:03,698
But I refuse to live in a world where I don't talk
326
00:12:03,753 --> 00:12:04,985
and the guy still likes me.
327
00:12:05,006 --> 00:12:06,539
I'm totally living in that world.
328
00:12:06,594 --> 00:12:08,711
Matthew invited me to come watch the game tomorrow.
329
00:12:08,766 --> 00:12:10,999
A game?
What sport is it?
330
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,889
I don't know.
One of the good ones, I think.
331
00:12:12,944 --> 00:12:15,144
Okay. This is gonna sound
really weird,
332
00:12:15,183 --> 00:12:17,066
but I think I'm liking this situation.
333
00:12:17,122 --> 00:12:18,371
Like, it was so relaxing
334
00:12:18,408 --> 00:12:20,241
not having to contribute in any way.
335
00:12:20,296 --> 00:12:21,529
I can't believe you like that.
336
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:23,049
You, like, never shut up.
I know.
337
00:12:23,087 --> 00:12:24,253
I feel like I literally haven't stopped talking
338
00:12:24,307 --> 00:12:25,540
in like five years.
Yeah.
339
00:12:25,561 --> 00:12:27,477
What if Jane is onto something?
340
00:12:27,516 --> 00:12:30,233
I kind of want to
ride this thing out for as long as I can.
341
00:12:30,273 --> 00:12:31,856
I still can't believe you're gonna go watch sports.
342
00:12:31,893 --> 00:12:33,560
I know.
A bunch of millionaires
343
00:12:33,582 --> 00:12:34,697
throwing balls at each other.
344
00:12:34,734 --> 00:12:37,752
Mnh-mnh.
345
00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:45,759
? Sports, go, sports ?
346
00:12:45,780 --> 00:12:49,115
? I promise
I really totally care who wins ?
347
00:12:49,156 --> 00:12:51,574
? If there's a net or a hoop
or a hole in the ground ?
348
00:12:51,613 --> 00:12:52,996
? I hope they get it in ?
349
00:12:53,050 --> 00:12:54,583
? If they want to go
to all the bases ?
350
00:12:54,621 --> 00:12:56,287
? I hope they do ?
351
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,676
? If they're supposed to run
past a line or whatever ?
352
00:12:58,732 --> 00:13:00,599
? I hope they do that, too ?
353
00:13:00,637 --> 00:13:02,637
? Sports, go, sports ?
354
00:13:02,910 --> 00:13:05,477
? May they top their opponents
numerically ?
355
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,366
? in the allotted time ?
356
00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:09,204
? Lest they disenfranchise
their audience ?
357
00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:11,493
? and see their revenues
decline ?
358
00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:13,099
? May the partakers
be sturdy and rapid ?
359
00:13:13,136 --> 00:13:14,969
? in the spirited energies
they exert ?
360
00:13:15,008 --> 00:13:16,858
? May they be victorious
in perpetuity ?
361
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,846
? Don't I look cute
in this football shirt? ?
362
00:13:18,868 --> 00:13:20,401
? Sports, go, sports ?
363
00:13:20,456 --> 00:13:22,039
? Athletics are number one ?
364
00:13:22,077 --> 00:13:24,210
? Participants are heroes ?
365
00:13:24,249 --> 00:13:25,983
? Go, team, yeah ?
366
00:13:28,043 --> 00:13:31,344
? This is the most important
thing that's ever occurred ?
367
00:13:31,385 --> 00:13:34,687
? The vicarious fulfillment of
your dream that got deferred ?
368
00:13:34,727 --> 00:13:38,061
? You had aspirations as a kid,
but you didn't have the skill ?
369
00:13:38,086 --> 00:13:40,069
? So you watch
genetically superior people ?
370
00:13:40,091 --> 00:13:42,208
? do the things you never will ?
371
00:13:42,247 --> 00:13:43,930
? Sports, go, sports ?
372
00:13:45,756 --> 00:13:47,189
? May the competitors
you prefer ?
373
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,561
? best
their opposing equivalents ?
374
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,099
? so you can somehow
feel connected to the feat ?
375
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,204
? of your self-appointed
constituents ?
376
00:13:53,243 --> 00:13:55,210
? May the hours you spend
watching post-match pontificators ?
377
00:13:55,248 --> 00:13:56,914
? amplify the thrill
of being a witness ?
378
00:13:56,952 --> 00:13:58,786
? and better
your predictive aptitude ?
379
00:13:58,808 --> 00:14:00,808
? for your squad's
future physical fitness ?
380
00:14:00,846 --> 00:14:02,479
? Sports, go, sports ?
381
00:14:02,517 --> 00:14:04,067
? Athletics are number one ?
382
00:14:04,105 --> 00:14:05,971
? Participants are heroes ?
383
00:14:05,993 --> 00:14:07,777
? Go, team, yeah ?
384
00:14:07,815 --> 00:14:11,583
? Watching
able-bodied millionaires ?
385
00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:12,990
? play with each other ?
386
00:14:13,011 --> 00:14:14,761
? Watching
less-agile millionaires ?
387
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,466
? talk about it on TV ?
388
00:14:16,504 --> 00:14:18,187
? May they compile
copious points ?
389
00:14:18,226 --> 00:14:19,942
? so they are rewarded
and meritorious ?
390
00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:24,199
? So you feel temporarily,
adjacently victorious ?
391
00:14:24,242 --> 00:14:26,258
? Sports, go, sports ?
392
00:14:26,297 --> 00:14:27,796
? Athletics are number one ?
393
00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:29,885
? Participants are heroes ?
394
00:14:29,923 --> 00:14:31,222
? Go, team, yeah ?
395
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,378
Every other word!
396
00:14:33,399 --> 00:14:34,882
? Sports, sports ?
397
00:14:34,904 --> 00:14:36,854
? are one ?
398
00:14:37,527 --> 00:14:38,609
? are ?
399
00:14:38,663 --> 00:14:40,446
? go, yeah ?
400
00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,618
Every other other word!
401
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:43,756
? Go ?
402
00:14:43,793 --> 00:14:46,294
? athletics, number ?
403
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:48,183
? participants, heroes ?
404
00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:50,439
? team ?
405
00:14:50,477 --> 00:14:51,727
Now in Latin!
406
00:14:51,764 --> 00:14:53,697
? Ludis, ire, ludis ?
407
00:14:53,737 --> 00:14:54,903
? arcu sunt optimum ?
408
00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:56,940
? participants sunt heroes ?
409
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,962
? ire quadrigus sic ?
410
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,249
Now the truth!
411
00:15:00,286 --> 00:15:02,003
? If you could only throw
a ball ?
412
00:15:02,058 --> 00:15:04,141
? you'd have a hotter wife ?
413
00:15:04,181 --> 00:15:05,847
? lots and lots of money ?
414
00:15:05,902 --> 00:15:07,735
? and a way better life ?
415
00:15:09,412 --> 00:15:14,515
? and a way better life ?
416
00:15:14,558 --> 00:15:17,326
? Go, sports! ?
417
00:15:17,366 --> 00:15:19,833
It's the down the line for Fogerty now.
418
00:15:19,856 --> 00:15:21,689
2 in 2 dropping toward the zone.
419
00:15:21,727 --> 00:15:23,477
40 seconds on the clock.
420
00:15:23,515 --> 00:15:25,532
Can he pass the breaker in time for a red 17?
421
00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:28,187
Oh! Looks like a...
422
00:15:28,211 --> 00:15:30,829
Aren't you, uh, that girl from YouTube?
423
00:15:30,868 --> 00:15:34,303
Yeah! Ah, dude,
I love musicals, man. Me too, dude.
424
00:15:34,344 --> 00:15:36,561
My girlfriend wants me to go see that AIDS musical.
425
00:15:36,599 --> 00:15:38,232
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The one about Greg Louganis?
426
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,487
No.
The one about the Bible.
427
00:15:39,524 --> 00:15:40,740
It's not about the Bible, dude.
428
00:15:40,777 --> 00:15:42,393
It's a Greg Louganis musical.
Right.
429
00:15:42,415 --> 00:15:43,614
But his character, the guy who plays him,
430
00:15:43,669 --> 00:15:45,035
sings this song where he's like...
431
00:15:45,072 --> 00:15:46,955
? 500 minutes ?
? 500 days ?
432
00:15:47,011 --> 00:15:48,260
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
433
00:15:48,298 --> 00:15:51,099
But it's about the Bible in Africa.
434
00:15:51,139 --> 00:15:53,255
It's Greg Louganis.
He dies of AIDS.
435
00:15:53,277 --> 00:15:55,194
'Cause he's dead.
He died of AIDS, right? Yeah.
436
00:15:55,232 --> 00:15:57,149
Don't ruin the whole movie.
I haven't seen it yet.
437
00:15:57,205 --> 00:15:58,454
I'm sorry, but this is what it...
438
00:15:58,492 --> 00:15:59,741
it's by the "Family Guy" creator.
439
00:15:59,778 --> 00:16:01,444
Okay. I'm sorry.
440
00:16:01,466 --> 00:16:03,633
The AIDS musical you're talking
about is "Book of Mormon,"
441
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,222
and people in it have AIDS, but
that's not the major plot point.
442
00:16:06,262 --> 00:16:07,812
It's not based on the Bible,
443
00:16:07,849 --> 00:16:09,315
but it's about these two
missionaries who go to Uganda
444
00:16:09,354 --> 00:16:10,970
to recruit people into the Mormon Church.
445
00:16:10,991 --> 00:16:13,491
And the AIDS musical you're talking about is "Rent,"
446
00:16:13,532 --> 00:16:15,582
and it's "525,600 minutes,"
447
00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:17,036
which is how many minutes are in a year.
448
00:16:17,090 --> 00:16:19,424
Greg Louganis is not involved in any way.
449
00:16:19,463 --> 00:16:22,047
He's also still alive.
450
00:16:22,104 --> 00:16:24,438
That's another 4 for the red team.
451
00:16:24,477 --> 00:16:28,179
This game is shaping up to be a real sticky wicket.
452
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:31,205
You have a beautiful speaking voice.
453
00:16:31,245 --> 00:16:32,795
Really?
454
00:16:32,832 --> 00:16:33,964
Yeah.
455
00:16:34,002 --> 00:16:36,302
And the math on those minutes and...
456
00:16:36,341 --> 00:16:37,507
Everything.
457
00:16:37,544 --> 00:16:39,178
Can you hand me a ham roll?
458
00:16:39,216 --> 00:16:42,367
Yeah.
459
00:16:45,884 --> 00:16:47,884
Darren asked me to go on a picnic with him.
460
00:16:47,922 --> 00:16:49,638
A picnic.
Whoa. That's so depressing.
461
00:16:49,677 --> 00:16:51,260
I know.
Okay.
462
00:16:51,298 --> 00:16:53,064
But, dude, you will never
believe what just happened.
463
00:16:53,103 --> 00:16:55,270
Well, first, I did,
like, a full-on Riki rant.
464
00:16:55,309 --> 00:16:56,525
You talked?
465
00:16:56,579 --> 00:16:58,662
No, no. I had to.
It was an emergency.
466
00:16:58,701 --> 00:16:59,983
But you'll never believe what happened.
467
00:17:00,004 --> 00:17:02,204
What?
Matthew liked it.
468
00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:03,960
He liked my personality.
469
00:17:03,998 --> 00:17:05,531
I mean, do you think there's any way
470
00:17:05,569 --> 00:17:07,936
I can like slowly seep my real
self into our relationship
471
00:17:07,975 --> 00:17:09,174
without anyone noticing?
472
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,411
No.
Maybe?
473
00:17:10,449 --> 00:17:11,782
No.
Maybe?
474
00:17:11,819 --> 00:17:13,402
Are you drunk?
475
00:17:13,457 --> 00:17:15,290
Well, I feel like I'm drunk
enough to make bad decisions,
476
00:17:15,329 --> 00:17:17,495
but not too drunk to not remember what they were.
477
00:17:17,534 --> 00:17:18,750
Okay.
Well, you know what?
478
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,136
Even though you caved,
479
00:17:20,175 --> 00:17:21,724
I'm gonna stick to this "not talking" thing.
480
00:17:21,762 --> 00:17:23,979
It is the weirdest thing I've ever been a part of.
481
00:17:24,018 --> 00:17:26,185
I've got to see it through.
482
00:17:26,224 --> 00:17:29,943
? Hand job, bland job,"I don't understand" job ?
483
00:17:30,001 --> 00:17:32,418
? Do I spit? Do I squeeze?Do I ever touch the top? ?
484
00:17:32,457 --> 00:17:37,093
? How can I learnwhen you always make me stop? ?
485
00:17:40,762 --> 00:17:42,312
Oh, man.
486
00:17:42,366 --> 00:17:43,732
Wait. What are
you guys doing?
487
00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:45,120
We're looking at one of your funny videos.
488
00:17:45,157 --> 00:17:46,874
I found on it
on the thing here. Yeah.
489
00:17:46,912 --> 00:17:50,380
I-I mean, you didn't tell me
that you do...
490
00:17:50,422 --> 00:17:52,322
That.
491
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:54,626
Well, you didn't really ask.
492
00:17:54,650 --> 00:17:56,132
What was I supposed to do...
specifically ask?
493
00:17:56,153 --> 00:17:58,320
If you sing songs about other guys' penises
494
00:17:58,359 --> 00:17:59,659
while you're on your couch?
495
00:17:59,696 --> 00:18:02,613
I mean, I guess so.
Yeah. I don't know.
496
00:18:02,653 --> 00:18:04,487
I can't believe you withheld this from me.
497
00:18:04,509 --> 00:18:06,042
Well, I don't know if you've noticed,
498
00:18:06,096 --> 00:18:09,180
but I really haven't said a word since we met.
499
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:10,888
What?
Like, nothing.
500
00:18:10,943 --> 00:18:12,809
Like, not a word.
Except the AIDS thing.
501
00:18:12,847 --> 00:18:14,347
Like... like, nothing.
502
00:18:14,368 --> 00:18:16,851
You haven't said any words since we started dating
503
00:18:16,874 --> 00:18:19,125
except for your rant about AIDS?
504
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,330
Why?
505
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,634
Well...
506
00:18:22,673 --> 00:18:24,557
I mean, I just...
I don't really know right now.
507
00:18:24,595 --> 00:18:27,179
I can't remember.
But there is a reason.
508
00:18:27,218 --> 00:18:28,434
That doesn't make any sense.
509
00:18:28,488 --> 00:18:29,821
Do you realize how creepy that is?
510
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,659
How am I...
511
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,505
Are you even an orphan?
512
00:18:38,582 --> 00:18:41,600
Okay. Emotionally, sometimes
I feel as though I am, yes.
513
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,140
But technically, I have two parents
514
00:18:43,195 --> 00:18:44,694
who are alive and in Buffalo.
515
00:18:44,731 --> 00:18:45,930
But I think they're dead
516
00:18:45,951 --> 00:18:48,285
every time the phone
rings after 10:00.
517
00:18:48,324 --> 00:18:49,574
You lied to me.
518
00:18:49,611 --> 00:18:51,544
No, I didn't lie.
519
00:18:51,584 --> 00:18:55,385
I just didn't say anything,
and then you didn't notice.
520
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,510
That's called lying through silence!
521
00:18:57,566 --> 00:18:59,316
I mean, you're not even an orphan.
522
00:18:59,353 --> 00:19:02,404
You're just some bitch with parents.
523
00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:06,920
Uh...
524
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,548
Okay. That painting
looks like a butthole, right?
525
00:19:11,603 --> 00:19:13,186
Oh, my God.
We've been saying that.
526
00:19:13,224 --> 00:19:14,973
I'm sorry.
I had to say it. It is disgusting.
527
00:19:15,011 --> 00:19:16,678
I'm gonna go, but I just had to say it.
528
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,984
Come on. I want to know
something about you.
529
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:21,792
I feel like I do all the talking.
530
00:19:21,830 --> 00:19:24,631
What is one thing that you like to do?
531
00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:32,018
These are great!
532
00:19:32,057 --> 00:19:33,691
You're very talented.
533
00:19:33,728 --> 00:19:35,194
Where'd you learn this?
534
00:19:35,232 --> 00:19:37,967
You have a special art class you go to or something?
535
00:19:38,006 --> 00:19:39,939
Really?
536
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,512
You learned this all by yourself?
537
00:19:42,552 --> 00:19:44,518
You're very advanced.
538
00:19:44,557 --> 00:19:46,890
Um...
539
00:19:46,929 --> 00:19:50,264
I'm not sure if this is rude, but...
540
00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:52,323
I've been dying to know.
541
00:19:52,378 --> 00:19:54,110
What exactly do you have?
542
00:19:54,132 --> 00:19:57,550
Are you, um, autistic
or... or just slow?
543
00:19:57,592 --> 00:20:00,977
Or... or... and I know
you're not retarded retarded,
544
00:20:01,017 --> 00:20:03,901
but, like, mildly maybe, right?
545
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:05,524
You think I'm retarded?
546
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:06,829
Oh.
I'm... I'm sorry.
547
00:20:06,866 --> 00:20:07,999
Challenged.
548
00:20:08,036 --> 00:20:09,485
What? No.
I-I...
549
00:20:09,506 --> 00:20:10,839
It's okay.
550
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,027
My sister is.
I'm into it.
551
00:20:13,066 --> 00:20:15,165
I've always wanted
to marry a girl just like her. Oh, my God. No.
552
00:20:15,188 --> 00:20:18,056
Isn't that... isn't
that illegal or something?
553
00:20:18,113 --> 00:20:19,696
Not with parental permission
554
00:20:19,733 --> 00:20:22,484
or if you're a licensed caregiver, which I am.
555
00:20:22,524 --> 00:20:24,374
You think I'm retarded?
556
00:20:24,413 --> 00:20:26,713
Only in the best way.
557
00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:37,658
Oh, yeah. No.
I can see that.
558
00:20:37,698 --> 00:20:38,914
And you just dress like this because...
559
00:20:38,951 --> 00:20:41,168
Oh, these are my clothes.
Okay.
560
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,508
Here's what I know.
561
00:20:43,547 --> 00:20:45,931
When I dropped off my car
to you, there was no scratch.
562
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:49,405
Now you bring it back to me,
there is a huge scratch!
563
00:20:49,445 --> 00:20:50,895
Who do you think is gonna pay for that?
564
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,849
Oh, now I get it.
Right.
565
00:20:52,871 --> 00:20:55,372
She doesn't talk
'cause she sucks. Mm-hmm.
566
00:20:55,411 --> 00:20:56,693
Why are you just standing there
567
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:58,831
looking at me like a complete dumbass?
568
00:20:58,870 --> 00:21:01,605
Go get your supervisor right now!
569
00:21:01,645 --> 00:21:03,545
She's totally pulling
a "Little Mermaid."
570
00:21:03,567 --> 00:21:05,517
Yeah. At least
it's not a "Sleeping Beauty."
571
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:08,356
That girl couldn't even sit up,
and she got her prince.
572
00:21:08,406 --> 00:21:12,956
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